Simple Tricks for Beating Social Anxiety
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- Опубликовано: 22 авг 2024
- Scott Ste Marie is a Mindfulness Practitioner, Coach and Mentor. Through his lived experience with depression and anxiety he has seen what is truly possible in recovery, healing, and living authentically. If you feel at ease and comfortable with the videos on this channel and Scott's approach to emotional and mental well-being, the resources below may be helpful to you.
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When i see someone dancing in public i wonder how they are so comfortable and why i cant be that way
Anonymous Thoughts You can be! Doesn't mean you have to dance in public though :)
Anonymous Thoughts I was the same way for years, but as Depression to Expression says in his video you need to just choose to overcome the anxiety. Eventually I just decided I was going to dance and have fun, screw what others think. A year later I ended up being in a partner dance with my ex which almost 200 people watched, and i didn't have any anxiety. You just need to do you, and enjoy yourself. People will respect you even if you look goofy because you were enjoying yourself without fear. I don't know if this helps, but at least you can hear a success story from someone that was in a similar situation.
Lmao, that's like saying I see a rich guy or a guy who's good with chicks and I wonder how they are that rich or that charismatic. Contrary to popular belief this shit isn't natural! Guys dancing on the street were scared shitless the first time they did it. But anxiety goes away when you DI THE THING YOUR AFRAID TO DO over and over again And every time you will be little less anxious and even better, you will be listening to your hearts calling and on your purpose
Stop spamming Glen and Alma.
There are several components to reducing shyness naturally . One resource I found that succeeds in merging these is the Sartar Shy Method (google it if you're interested) it's the most useful plan that I've seen. look at the interesting info .
Actually watching people talk about anxiety makes me realise how much it is affecting my life. I'm constantly worrying about what people think of me or what people will think of me when I do something. So I just never do anything I really want to do because I'm thinking about how people will perceive that. I literally KNOW that people don't care but in those moments I can't convince myself to be anything other than anxious!!!!
+Gadjert Same! It's like my brain won't believe me!
***** Aww it says the blog has been removed :(
Jeremygmua I have spent months studying top natural remedy for depression and found a fantastic resource at Sebs shy remedy (google it if you're interested)
Jeremygmua I have it but I realised that "changing" my lifestyle helped . I've stopped using my phone so much and started socialising with my family , reading books, buying clothes that make me look good , and just putting more effort into making me feel comfortable in my skin , but doing so you will not care about what other people think about you as you are now confident in you skin and don't care
Jeremygmua im the same way
I just want to say to all the people who have social anxiety, I give you a huge hug. Because it's horrible to always hear the 'it's all in your head' or 'just stop being shy' or 'just go out more'.
It truly is like a prison, but I promise you're not alone, you're not 'pathetic' and it's not your fault to be feeling this way.
If you try your best, you'll get better, slowly but surely. /hugs/ ♥
+Yumi thanks u girl it means a lot ..hope more people could show same feeling
wooooow. love this.its great when there are those that understand
hey
+silverphoenixreborn be yourself and you will attract the right people into your life. This sickness you feel when isolated stems from our ancestors. When we were more primitive social isolation meant we would struggle to survive as we relied on the entire group. As we have evolved we have become more independent and can survive almost entirely independently if we can organize ourselves and our resources. Unfortunately our brains are still wired so that we feel like social isolation is a bad thing. I have been hated before and shunned from groups and rejected so i have learned to rely more on myself. I have learned to enjoy my alone time and focus on self-improvement, being more artistic and giving to those who need me such as charity work. I have tried yoga, meditation, self-awareness and exercise and all these things help in small ways. School is tough, trust me! its some of the hardest years of your life but it gets better when you have the freedom to choose your own path. Try to stay focused at school so you can live up to your full potential. I hope you gain something from this and have a lovely day :)
Its good you saw a doctor they can really help :) I see a therapist occasionally and they're great for building confidence in yourself. go talk to this new girl tell her what happened she'll probably laugh! As I said school is hard but it'll be over before ypu know it and youll have options to choose what you wanna do and meet people with similar interests. Get through these low times because they'll make this high times feel even more incredible :)
to be honest, I don't like people, I feel as they are judging me all the time, I feel free only when I am alone
Aren't you perhaps restraining yourself from judging others and you end up judging yourself? (Just a thought, I have it too)
Armando Gómez perhaps
Andrea Puig Cruz me too. i could be on an isolated island with Wilson and some music.
Me too gurl 😩😔
me 2 I cant😐
i don't really mind random strangers much but what i am socially anxious of is when i talk and interact with people i see everyday like classmates, neighbors etc.
Woooord!
Everyone who is having a social anxiety right now, just remember: "NOBODY is more valuable than you". Everyone is unique in their own ways but has no more value than you. I hope everyone can beat this fucked up illness and be happy in your life.
yoo...this really calm me down... thank you soo much.
Matty R Did i say that?
J Keinna :)
Probably the nicest thing I've heard all day :D
thankyou so much♡
Reading these comments, I'm glad I'm not alone because these people are going through the exact same experiences.
this is the problem. I find that there are others like me in this world and find that comforting, which means = no effort on my part to improve
I have very serious social anxiety I need help :(
+Hobo Joe always feels like everyone is staring at me
***** Glad you made it through.
+Hobo Joe kk Thank u i will try my best but its hard :( for mr
Watching this while crying because I wish I could internalize your words and bring them into my life. I really really want to come out of my sad little shell and be the person I want to be. Maybe someday.
Dear Claire. From my experince it was nearly impossible to became comfortable "in my own skin" that was the whole issue. What actually set me free, was the abbility to have trust in other people, my first step was to rely on another person to tell my story(Traumathized childhood etc.). One need to have/get faith in other people, maybe a theraphist or another close person whom is able to listen. From there on offcourse the theraphy/talk is related to the degree of anxiety.
Hope the best.
The most important thing is to talk about it.. talk and maybe write about it.
Claire,
I was reading your words and I was touch by your tears. There is hope Claire, believe me. I had social anxiety for 30 years. Terrible stuff, Nightmarish time for me I lost all my friends by just cutting them out of my life at that time. It's a long story I don't wish to bore you with. I was that bad I had trouble just talking to my family and I was the youngest of 8 kids and 21 at the time, At the time I use to hide it at times which was blighted by booze episodes where by I was released from my torment for short while only to come crashing down badly the next day. I could not even go out the door or take a phone call if it rang. I Felt so wired at the time as if my eyes where like lazier beams from the tension and the negative thoughts that accompanied my life everyday. Inside there was still this sane me what seemed trapped by this terrible fear. I seemed to learn fast and always to play it safe from avoiding the very things I was secretly afraid of. In the end I lost my job and got in a right mess. But before all this crap and hard to believe I was the life and soul of the party I loved being with folk and loved life to the max. How life had changed so quickly after what appeared to be a nervous break down at 21, Since then I have turned many corners from sheer experience and some very deep and hard personal ways and knocks. But I've come along way from those dark days. I can honestly say am not a full 100% but a massive improvement of 95% and a much stronger and wiser person for it. I still have little set backs now and then but it don't bother me that much. Only I know its all in the thinking and the background din of anxiety mind states that provokes more anxiety responses. I am 53 now attend uni as a mature student and talk in front of groups. No one would be the wiser that I had such a problem once before. Ive found over the years that there are certain stimulates that trigger more anxiety attacks and nervousness. Caffeine is one of them and late nights with not enough sleep is another and to much sugar don't help either if you have a sweet tooth only it excites the nervous system to much these things. I have found that meditation is the best help you can get. As it as helped me over the years to calm the negative excitement of the mind which is partly to blame for the nature of anxiety. And all its little and big character traits that anxiety brings with it and the upsets it causes one. My advice is find a group and take up meditation, if you can.There are groups out there where some are free. Raj yoga is one such group. If there is any advice with any group you go along to his keep an open mind always. Only you are in the control seat and if it does not fit your life then try another group where by it does not conflict with views or feelings.
Does not mean you have to turn all religious on yourself. I am just meaning for the benefit of the calm atmosphere where by it stabilises the mad energy and tension in the body and mind. Just keep a open mind. You might find happiness where you least expect to find it as well.
By the way my apologies for my grammar and structure.
Good Luck.
I have major depressive disorder and social anxiety and ADD. I take 8 pills a day to function. When I first started seeing a psychiatrist at age 21 he told me something very simple and true. And it might help you or some others at least a little. He said " You know all those people out there that you are afraid they are thinking about you? Guess what they are really thinking about? THEMSELVES just like you." I thought ya, of course. Also I found out that if you force yourself, even though you are half blind with terror and anxiety force yourself to go to work and/or school (or whatever it is for you) Like I did. You think it is going to last forever but it doesn't. After enough times of going it gets routine and even boring and no big deal at all. I took very little meds then and many days took nothing at all. You get so used to it after a while. But you have to start which is the hard thing. Of course now I'm all messed up because I am divorced and lost my job. So I isolated myself in my home which is a big mistake because now it is back worse than ever. I am seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist also. I can't stress how important that is. I hope you are doing the same. Seeing both. And find one you are comfortable with. Because I have had some creepy or arrogant psychiatrists. So I left them and found a good one I am very comfortable with. Hope you get better. I know it doesn't feel like it but you will.
MDMA
My problem is being afraid of ending up in embarrassing situations.I can't even order food without getting shy and over thinking everything I do.Even now i'm afraid of making mistakes as I type making sure not to misspell or If my sentences sound right.... I can't even be myself when I go outside I feel like I'm wearing a mask and pretending (happen's mostly when i'm at school) to be normal or what everyone considers as normal.... Home is literally my only safe place I can be myself without worrying if that person is thinking bad things about me or talking about me behind my back, its so frustrating being this way, also why i'm depressed and don't trust people.
"pretendind to be normal" why do you think the way you are isn't considered normal? I'm pretty sure your "real personality" /which you hide from people\ would know how to act in this situations. If you take a minute to think about the last time you felt embarrassed in front of people, you'll realize how to handle the situation. Men, all we need is "time to REALLY think" instead of just lose control of our minds.
I had quiet a big problem with social anxiety my cure was i started to go to the gym, as i made progress over years i started to feel better about myself, my looks, my overall self judgement. Very much recommend.
I have no reason to be uncomfortable in my skin yet I still am. I have no real friends because what I put out there isn't the real me- because I dont even know how to be myself.
Fucking hell I'm so confused
personally my anxiety stems from being asked questions and being put on the spot by people. my mind races a million miles an hour most of the time so i get extra nervous when social situations like occur...
Leewin Hartley WTF DUDE I OFTEN HAVE THE SAME THING
my social anxiety is about talking and meeting new people and/or making a good first impression, i will literally judge myself over the littlest things like for an example if i meet a guy and shoke his hand i would think and judge every little failure and see what i could have done differently, it sucks so much man and has been at its worst since i have moved school and i have been trying to make friends
Dean B The root of this behavior is the self image, you over think about what up or down your self esteem, however we are all human and we are all do mistakes, keep meeting people and don't be afraid of doing dumb things, you will be better over time.
Ibn Fahmi i try my hardest to ignore it and pretend its not there but it really isnt easy and i have recently found out i also have depression i'm sick of living in constent fear over literally nothing, its effecting my everyday life and especially when i work because i have to talk to customers in my job. i'm so keen for the day it goes away
Dean B you can't ignore mental illness as you can't with physical illness, you should not be shy about it, your health is the priority, just find someone you trust a lot, maybe he or she will guide you to the light, and don't ignore the therapist choice, he can find the root of these problem and help you to fix it.
keep trying bro, as we all do :)
Ibn Fahmi thanks for the advice man its always nice to know someones willing to give a few minutes of there day to try and help someone else, thanks man :)
Dean B I would be happy to help any time :)
My issue is more like being scared to talk to people of authority that I dont know. At work for example, we have to visit different places and help people out with technical stuff...When someone (usually a tall deep voiced, intelligent, authoritative person) asks me a question about something, I get a loss for words, my voice starts to tremble, I tend to end the convo very quickly, tend to look away for as long as I can etc... The twist here is, if I were talking to the same person over the phone, I would sound more calm and collected and more willing to elaborate.
Same man..
I think that's common for everyone to experience at some point.
SAME HERE!
You helped me better in 5 minutes than my psychologist in 5 hours/meetings
I used to be able to think of something funny every 30 seconds and make everyone laugh, but now it seems like my mind is clouded and all over the place and I can't think straight, does anyone else have this problem? ive went through the whole nervous wreck stage, and im almost pretty calm around people, but talking confidently is for the life of me the hardest thing im dealing with
Social anxiety is not a mental illness, it's a "bad" habit. A lot of people don't know this... if you repeat something day by day it will become a habit, your mind will set that specific behavior as "default". To your mind it's normal to be socially anxious, it's a natural reaction. What you need to understand is that the brain works in patterns, that is where you want to strike - the patterns - break the "bad" pattern and replace it with a new one. By sitting on your butt 24/7 and not practicing every single day your new habit/pattern - the change that you are looking for it will never come. The key word here is discipline. If you have discipline - you have everything. The first step is to analyze your patterns and write it down on a paper, write down the triggers (ex. "I'm fat", "People think this and that about me" etc.), write down the reactions on your body (ex. "I feel my neck muscles very tense", "My breath is getting shorter", "My heart beats very fast" etc.), write it down to the last detail, increase your awareness, be scientific. It has an amazingly positive effect on your brain when you take the time to sit down and write down your thoughts on a piece of paper. (I also suggest keeping a daily diary.) This way you will recognize instantly what is happening to you in a great detail - you will see your "target" more clearly. Once you know what your dealing with the rest is easy... You need to pick a new behavior and you need to repeat it over and over again. VERY IMPORTANT: Focus only on your new pattern - don't let anything to distract you - be careful because the mind has a brilliant defense mechanism and it will use anything against you to stop you! For example: it will trigger your anxiety more often then normal, mood swings, confusion, procrastination etc. - this are the most common tactics used by the brain - don't look at it like your brain is your enemy... this is not true, the brain is like a child... it rebels against authority.
P.S: You don't need to go out and embarrass yourself in front of people to combat your social anxiety. Try to take it easy at first, don't rush it... Learn how to take little baby steps and I assure you that one day you will walk and before you even know it you will run like a thief in the night ;) Take care!
you make it sound so easy
meilstrup1 You and I know that its not. It's the hardest thing...ever! Keep on going!
Depression to Expression I have actually come through,, finally, after years of struggle . But i know, if i had heard this video a few years, it would not have had any considerable impact, perhabs because of the degree of anxiety... but anyway, nice work,,, i hope it makes a difference for somebody. Anxiety can surely feel like hell.
***** Hi Styla,, sorry i didnt respond untill now,, havent been using youtube for a period. i am sad to hear about your complications with anxiety. for me it has been quite a long journey through my issues,, there is probably lots of difference in the reasons for anxiety becomming a problem. For me the first steps through, was to have comfort and trust in talking to a person who could understand and guide me,, to aknowledge the fear and talk about it is important- i believe and also to accept ones fear, then it gets eazyer to talk about it,, hope the best for you
"Step 1 It takes time... There's no such thing a quick fix, that's all media lies"
Thank u... JESUS CHRIST i'm too much of a nervous and sensitive person!!! I need to chill and take ur advice man as much as I want.
Freebleepers Thanks for watching!! Just chill ;)
Depression to Expression you know nothing....its not that simple
Zeus Low kicks You're wrong. I know a few things. But you're also right, it's not that simple! Takes a fuck load of work and determination, throwing up, and complete insanity. But once you're through all that, its easy :)
Depression to Expression again there are levels ...im talkin about the highest level bro!!! you have no fucking idea..what you're talking about right now is like "3" on a "100" scale...i don't even want to mention it to just so you don't get fucked up lTRUST!!me... im not doubting that most suicide cases are because of "IT"...am speaking from experience been with it for like 3 years now...year 1 omg panic attacks>palms sweating>heart pounding out of my chest>and REAL embarrassment not shit in my head REAL>state of mind kill me,YEAR 2 i guess a little bit better,NOW im like 80%ON A REGULAR BASIS 90% on a good day...but no its not about being able to be embarrassed but to love yourself,thinking you are beautiful and that you're normal, nothing wrong with you!!! CONFIDENCE and also going out more with your friends,school,getting a job doing diff. activities...even psychologist will fold under the pressure of this illness my friend but you have the right idea just not the right solution...you need to talk to people with social anxiety to understand it not that bullshit they teach us in school.
***** He's wayyyyyyyyy off buddy. What he's saying is for (physical to mental) not (mental to physical) either you know what i'm talking about or you don't......its not that simple trust me and yeah i'm still struggling with it but more in control in the high 90%
I'm 17, I've been struggling with social anxiety and depression since middle school. I'm always afraid of being judged. After watching this video, I feel a lot better, I really do. I just wanna over come this once and for all.
Ken and now you’re 21.
how’s life been man?
Ken and btw i’m 17 w anxiety sooo if u got tips send em
24 now
I got diagnosed with severe anxiety a few weeks back. I start therapy soon. Ive had many panic attacks, I get shortness of breath, heart beating fast, numb legs, feeling very nauseous and faint, and I feel like I'm going to have a seizure or I will stop breathing. Also, when I'm about to fall asleep after an anxiety attack I gasp for air which is really scary as I feel like I died for a second then came back to life. I have skipped college and greek lessons because i get nervous. I feel I get nervous for feeling worried that I will have an anxiety attack or throw up. I have many phobias, especially the fear of throwing up or fainting, I don't like talking in front of a classroom, or going on a train or bus, talking to a group of people, parties, planes, shopping. I hold back from all these and more because of my anxiety. I haven't learnt to deal with it yet, and I am so scared to even shower everyday in case I panic and can't breathe. All I know is, I am not alone and I would love to talk to someone that has the same experience as me because it is not good to feel alone in this situation. No one I know has anxiety and I feel that they think I am crazy, which I not I am not, but that is how I feel. Anxiety has taken over my life.
Lorena Laniti i feel the same ! i habe wird breathing and going to sleep is really growing to be a nightmare to me. i also habe issues with ging out and even when telling myself that i will do it i bail out in the last Moment. it really starts Messing with my job and my life and that scares me even more
How are you doing?
Exactly what I feel like,...damn I'm not alone anymore. It feels like shit I've woken up feeling nauseous then my left hand gets sweaty and out of nowhere bam pounding heart beats loose my breath get dizzy and weak like I'm gonna pass out.....just like you described! It sucks big time!!!! I'm on lexapro and I still feel like I'm gonna have those attacks been close several times it's depressing...........
i have watched over 100 speeches an youtube videos on shyness social anxiety approaching hot girls ect. but this is the best video on the topic hands down. its short and sweet. Hats off to you sir.
+Kelly Clarke He's talking about honesty and inner peace & that the universe is freaking huge so everyone on earth is a tiny little part of time and space so it doesn't really matter to the universe what you do... so do what you want to got the choice. Peace and harmony, that is all the world needs in the end to get heaven down. looove
+Gabriel Beefmo i agree completely brother
I get scared of having a panic attack in public and I have panic attacks because I'm scared. It's become a closed circle. But the more I push myself to get over it, the more I panic and the worse it gets. Please tell me I'm not the only one.
You're not. For sure :) From personal experience you have to break the circle you speak about. Even if it goes badly, you have to break it and force yourself to confront the things you are anxious about, otherwise you just trap yourself.
ur not the only one.. I always get red in my face in school
ur not the only one.. I always get red in my face in school
u r not the only one
+MissVyris It's the same for me ! D:
I've been through CBT and Counselling and this 5 minute video gave me better info than weeks of therapy.
it sounds so easy but when you think about it, you feel anxious.
Shit man, you're on point.
+johnny Smith Thanks JohnnY!
I was never diagnosed for social anxiety, but I know I have it for a fact because I've had to deal with it, and I have all the symptoms that I experience in my day to day life.
It's gotten so bad to the point I can't even pick up the phone unless I know who's calling. Even if I did know who was calling, I'd still be embarrassed to pick up the phone. Sometimes I even struggle walking through the grocery store. I have no friends, not really any social media, and the only thing I really do is sit in my room and play video games. I'm an 18 year old male, and I I've also never been in a relationship in terms of like having a girlfriend or anything. It's not the looks that are the issue, it's just that I can't take the initiative.
+MueTiny Naruto's right. You're not the only one, I can feel u! Just keep on going, you'll make it some day!
-There are times in life we all have to struggle. But storms make us stronger and we can build new and better things out of a broken world/life-
+MueTiny same man :(
+MueTiny I'm in the same situation, bud :/
same :(
Brexit Monger hi
Great vid man! Social anxiety is quite a difficult thing to talk about with all the stigma and judgement that surrounds mental illness. The fact that you made this video/channel shows that people going through this aren't alone in the world and that the world hasn't completely forgotten about them. Keep up the good work!
I am so glad I found this channel; I can't even take my dog out for a walk in the park because of my anxiety. I love the way you look at things and teach. I'm watching this at night right now so I can sleep with a smile. =]
I am 31, and been living with this horrible SA since I was a teenager. I have trouble making friends, making long conversations and eye contact. I feel like I'm being judge or others making fun of me. I been this way for years that it grew into me where I just would get depress, angry and feel worthless. Only a Miracle would cure my social anxiety. 😢
I'm 21 yet I can agree!
There's an online free cognitive psychology treatment for it. I googled it and found so I'm reading and doing the exercises. Wish u all the best.
+Alberto Marques de Castro Leão do u remember what it was called? id like to try it too!
+Ribless ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome
I'm not sure why, but watching this made me emotional. I've been dealing with social anxiety for over 7 years and honestly, for the first time this video made me feel like someone understands. You're awesome! Keep doing what you do.
Thanks for great perspective I never thought about! It's so great seeing people on the internet being honest and straightforward like you are. Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much for this video! I have been "battling" social anxiety and anxiety attcks for about 3 years. I'm now on a journey to overcome it! This was very helpful! :)
Clara, best of luck! I hope you check out more of my videos and join the community!
I finally found this video again!! Man you helped so much it honestly makes my eyes watery thank you
You are so welcome. Don't lose the video again by subscribing, muahahah! You are the greatest ever
You've motivated me to try and overcome my social anxiety.
Thanks dude!!
How long did it take ?
+ashl3yproductions Its still an ongoing progress but I'm feeling a lot more determined to stop being paranoid around people and try to be a bit more talkative.
"The world doesn't revolve around you." THANK YOU!!!!! This made so much sense to me and calmed down my nerves!
When I am outside of my house I feel uncomfortable as if I am trapped in a tight box
When he says that people will judge me and will quickly forget about it, i fell like that, that person will judge me and will not forget about it. I have pretty bad social anxiety, and i worry too much, therefore i can't just forget about that person that judges me for only 1 second. Thanks for the tips though.
Can't stress his first point enough. Just sing in your car, get comfortable being silly alone. I would get heart palpitations and break out in sweat at just hearing my own voice. A few weeks of forcing myself to simply sing songs I love on my way to work and the fear is gone. It may still crop up when others are around, but it's a step.The world not revolving around you is called, "Sonder". The realization that every human is just as complex as you … and you're just a background player in their life story.
this made me cry, i love you so much and thank you for posting this video, it will really help.
I can't even meet my cousins on christmas and birthday partys :(
I don't like my cousins, they think I should be more outgoing.
me too I can't believe I get so anxious and scared with some of my family. I hate it bc I know they notice something off about me. it's so sad.
Okay so today It was christmas and I couldn't go to my cousins house because I was so scared and anxious over it
+Idaa YouKnow Yeah, to be honest it's sometimes even harder to get along with your own family, than with other people. And what about your friends/other people you know?
+Alexander Povar It's just very hard right now because i'm so depressed, I can't really go to school either so it's hard meeting other people too
My problem is that I over analyze everything. I get an opportunity to go to some social gathering or whatever (for example, a cycling meetup or whatever) and I start thinking too much in preparation. "What type of people are they? Do they have the same values as me? Are they rowdy? Will I like them, will they like me? Will they talk about pop culture? Oh god I don't watch Game of Thrones or Walking Dead, what will I say when the topic comes up? Will they be playing a sport or tossing a football? Cause I'm terrible at sports and don't want to play. What about afterwards, will everyone meet up at a bar or club? I've been there before and I'm awkward in bars and don't feel comfortable, and don't want to seem lame by bailing out early. Ehh, I better just stay home..."
It's different if I'm in charge of the event and already know the people, but its nearly impossible for me to just "go out" and "meet people" because my anxiety and over-analysis clouts my brain.
Same, bro. I can't do big events with people I don't know, with the exception of concerts. If I do, it absolutely cannot be last minute. Fuck that. I need time to emotionally prep and even then, I still might bail. I just really can't stop thinking about what people are thinking about me. And the pessimist in me assumes they're thinking something negative.
I feel the same and ask all those bloody questions from myself before going somewhere new 😧😧
Bro you are not alone most of these things connenct to me I am 18 and have very little friends because I over analyze things I don't go in big events because I don't feet comfortable,even I do think before I go out the conversation that I should make with other people I hate myself please reply what should I do,I am very stressed out please help
Someone who understands me; this is seriously me!
thank you man, 10 yrs later and this changed my life.
As time has passed I've finally overcome a big amount of my depression and anxiety, sometimes it comes back and I lost everything. Even that i'm more extrovert now I'm still being a really lonely person, i have friends but there is still a big layer of loneliness in me and I really don't know how to change that, it's a hard work. Good luck to everyone, times are going to change
TRUE.... Fuck i needed this. Alright fuck this I'm going to try attending class. .-. wish me luck .....
Good luck!
you can do it...all the best...
+Melissa Ruiz Did you make it?
***** I did make it to class. lol !
Melissa Ruiz Yessss!
Im 19 years old now and when i was at school and was bullied so much ... i had 1 friend only and me and him were embarrassed , got torchered without any reason... it was so bad. And my family was not ritch and i couldnt afford to move to a different school. This thing lasted for 3-4 years and left quit a big mark in my self-confidence. I'm 19 and i still don't have a girlfriend... i stay in my house 24/7 ... it's just destroying me. I really want to meet good people, smart , kind people who are not gonna stab you in the back because i have met allot of idiots... I think too much, worry too much i have a lot of family problems ... My life is just a wreck i really hope i get a hold on thing soon cuz i don't see myself in 5 years time.
Pew Blast Graduated college in 2014, didn't make one college friend, and I'm now friendless, it's sucks but I have to try and make more friends. By the way I'm 22 with no girlfriend.
It's okay man, to a degree I go through what you go through. Find a person or two you love or even an adult you trust like a counselor or some and just tell them what you feel like/what you're going through and they will help you for your specific case. I'm rebuilding my confidence now but a big thing that has helped me was knowing that I'm going to die soon so I can't waste my time thinking about what everyone's thinking about me. Also, try to find your passion/purpose in life and never give up working toward it. If you can't find one, create one! It will help for sure. Finally, change your attitude about failing. Stop trying to have a perfect conversation. Sometimes you're going to say something stupid or look stupid but in those moments instead of beating yourself up about it, laugh it off-- understand that it's okay to fail/make mistakes/look stupid sometimes. Hope this helped at least a little!
atlndnballer123 Yea youre right. I / we should not give a damn so much about everything and things are gonna connect, I'm gonna take the advice.
+Planet Deadwing damn! sorry to hear tht man, hey pride and all aside you can seek help
Shaun Caps
Underrated comment, sorry about your Father.. Stay strong Bro.
Thank you so much for this video! Just finished my freshman year of college and I didn't make many friends. I didn't go to events or join clubs because I was just so nervous about meeting people and being awkward. 2nd year starts next week and I am determined to not make the same mistakes. You're tips are very inspiring.
in about two weeks I'm going to talk about an article that was assigned to us in my class, I have been freaking out so bad! my social anxiety is horrific I feel like I'm gonna pass out my mouth gets so dry my mind goes blank I feel like I'm going to puke and the list goes on... think about that one event is terrible but researching and learning about my problem at the moment is actually helping and asking God to guide my and give me strength to confront this demon has been life to me. Aside from the cursing lol this video has great tips :) love you all we can do this!
I loved this video because it was sincere and direct. Thanks!
I actually feel better about myself now, thx man.
Your Voice is so smooth and atractive , you invite people to hear you! Its not tiring! Well done!
Thabk you so very much for this brotha! I really needed this reminder - "The world does not revolve around me." Great, wise, and helpful words to live by!
Why would you have social anxiety? You're good-looking, intelligent and have a nice personality. Good advice. thanks.
musicaffionado ahaha. I'm afraid it doesn't work that way. Thank you!
*****
Social anxiety stems from deep-seated, often subconscious insecurities. My comment was meant to uplift and not to showcase my "ignorance".
Once i got slightly drunk in high school, and it was amazing i was talking to people i never did and i sat at a table with lots of random people, and they didn't care (i thought they hated me alot, social anxiety) , made me so depressed feeling what its like to not have social anxiety. Only thing that helps is going to bed at like 3 and waking up at 6, but you cant do that very often without dying
It doesn't matter what you look like. It's isn't something a pretty face can change. You.......obviously don't understand.
That's not what causes anxiety.
Thank you so much for this!!!
This is EXACTLY what i needed to hear :)
1:01 that is so insightful. I've been thinking about this so much recently, about how even when we're alone we feel judged and embarrassed but deep down that's our own egos judging us...
@Depression to Expression Just wanna say thanks for the words of wisdom. I'm going through a particularly difficult time right now and your perspective gave me a little boost in confidence, more so than any therapy session I've been to has done. You just earned yourself a subscriber :D thanks again
Wow, this really helped me! Thank you!
But the thing is here... you don't wanna go to deep into thought with this and think to hard about it because then that can cause even MORE anxiety! (for some people like me) But otherwise, great video and fantastic advice... it does calm me down a little bit... thank you thank you!
That is very true. It's all subjective. What works for some doesn't work for others. Thanks so much for watching man
NP keep up the great work! You helped alot man!
Im 16 years old and its really hard for me to go to school and do road lessons and look at colleges or just go out in public and have fun because im so scared of judgement and people looking at me and judging me and i feel like i cant breath. After watching alot of your videos I came to the realization that the only person holding me back is me I have to try and overcome my fears and like you said understand the world doesnt revolve around me it keeps going no matter what the hell anyone does. I just wanna say you have truly inspired me to start trying to overcome the things that are holding me back from enjoying what im suppose to enjoy in life. Its nice to hear that someone else has the same feelings as I do and learned to push through it thank you so much.
You're either getting better, or getting worse. Every time you go out and talk to people, you get better, and it becomes easier to get better. Every second you spend loafing around in self-pity causes you to get worse and worse. You are never the same.
So, go out and take action.
Social anxiety is making it hard on me. I'm trying to get a job and go to college. My friends make it seem so easy but an interview or meeting someone new is something dreadful that keeps me up at night and even to the point where i have nightmares about being in those situations. i really want to go to college but just imagining sitting next to other people or anything scares me. Highschool was a hell, i got good grades but paying attention to lectures from teachers was almost impossible. I even thought people next to me could see me shaking and noticed i left almost everyday to go to the bathroom cause i claimed i was 'sick' just to get outta there and calm down. It was better if i had at least one friend near me, i even tried to explain this to the principal, counselor, and my teacher. They assumed i was just making up an excuse to get classes with a friend or to sit by them and talk. I was almost always quiet though even with a friend near. My fiancé of 5 years now is very supportive but it's hard living like this. Feeling like everyone is watching you, judging you.
I know this reply is 2 years late. But something that helps me sleep is meditation (doesn't work for everyone) And then I put on a podcast called *Sleep With Me* which helps bore me to sleep.
Exactly, I felt when going for job interviews, especially those outside of college, and I felt my friends and acquaintances when talking about going for their new jobs and I wasn’t sure how to work through that
Make sure you're healthy, cut the caffeine and sugar and make sure youre exercising. Then you just need to get out there and desensitize yourself to being embarrassed and eventually you care less. Make yourself look better, exercise eat healthy, wear nice clothes.
littleripper312 This isn't very good advice actually. Exercising can help to feel less stressed etc, but looks don't help you overcome social anxiety.
I can relate to your advice tho, all of that + many more has helped me blossom
+Lola Ryan improving your looks will help you be more self confident tho and that could help with social situations.
+Lola Ryan actually half of it is looks/confidence
c glad
What I look like doesn't help my social anxiety at all. If it's that superficial for you then I guess you're lucky.
This video proves that you're a generous person and you want help other people i had this mental illness all my childhood, iam now 27 and by reading personnal devlopement books i am cured, onesayto say is : nothing is impossible, by thinking positively !!
I really needed to hear this. Man, I stumbled across this at just the perfect time. It's crazy that everything you talked about I experienced. Today. And what you said makes sense. Thanks for making this.
I appreciate the comment Miguel! Check out the other vids too ;) Let's keep in touch
I love these tips, your whole perspective and how you talk. I think I've just find my online coach haha :) Thank you so much. Subscribed xx
You're the best Thank you for saying that :) If you like my vids you'll most likely like our blog too.
www.depressiontoexpression.com
Depression to Expression do you have instagram?
Thank you for this, changed my perspective, actually feeling kinda confident 😊😌
Joshh Dunnn same!
Subscribed to you in a heart beat. You're so straight forward and blunt about it. You don't sugar coat anything regarding depression and anxiety. You tell us what we need to hear. Love you
I have seen many videos on social anxiety and this one really stuck with me. You make a really good point about looking the disorder in the face and realizing how ridiculous you're being. The more you stare at it, the more insignificant it becomes. My anxiety personally stemmed from years of isolation and forgetting how to communicate with people. I'm afraid of looking or sounding like an absolute ignoramus. I avoid making phone calls, job interviews are a nightmare, even ordering food at a restaurant is torture. I'm slowly overcoming it, day by day, and your video definitely helped. Thanks! Keep doing what you're doing.
I feel this 100%, ever since I left HS my anxiety has gotten worse since being alone a lot of the time and now I've literally forgotten how to talk to people too. It's ridiculous
This is awesome advice! Looking through your videos,I feel like you'd make an excellent therapist, seeing that you experienced these things and have genuine passion about making progress. I am writing a paper and doing a presentation on Social Anxiety and im so glad i stumbled upon this video. Im actually showing this to my fellow classmates as part of my presentation so thanks!!
WOW, that is incredible. Thanks so much for those kind words. You put a huge smile on my face :D
Good luck on the presentation
Your welcome! Keep it up :)
Nice video. Subbed. I think the most valuable thing I took her is to be comfortable with doing something embarrassing - I've been trying to find out how to get rid of these "attacks" in the moment when it's happening and what you said might help a lot, I think.
*****
I never knew it was this extreme. Do you really take medication for this?
+Adam Smith what do u take? Benzos only good now n then not good for long term use as it wears off and is addicting. I wonder what you were given to treat this? I heard clonazepam was one prescribed
Let me know how it goes! Thanks so much for subscribing!
***** Hey how's it going with the xanax and social anxiety?Would love to know if all is well any sides?
***** Has there been periods extending beyond 6 months and what were the reasons?
Finally realizing that I can look up videos like this is really helpful. I understand what you're saying and thank you. Social anxiety affects me every day. It bothers me anywhere i'm around a lot of people for a long time. Stores, traffic, church, etc. It's the reason I haven't been to church in a long time. Or that I don't like going to big stores. Any social situation where I don't have "control" are the most embarrasing times. I know it's going to take a long time but i'm going to beat this thing. I'm tired of it ruining my life.
My friends always tell me just to not care what others think, it just doesn't seem that simple to me. I know what I need to do to help myself, I just don't know how to execute it. It makes me feel helpless and that they don't understand. This video helped me to understand how to do what I need to do to help myself so thank you.
for me its talking to new people. i can't go up to cash registers because i get so scared. i can't ask to go into changing rooms at stores, i don't like ordering food or texting. going in front of people is something i hate, i get really scared and i shake and cry. when someone talks to me, i can't keep eye contact and i squeeze my hands together, but i don't want to walk away from that person in fear that they'll think I'm a bitch. if i do something weird in front of someone, i think about it the whole day, maybe even week. i think about how stupid they must think i am and I'm so sick of all this.
I'm tired of me😑
I'm not tired of You we can be friends :D
Nikita Singh
Stay strong.
"not all eyes are on you". that really helped thank you!
"The World does not revolve around you".
Amen Brother, good stuff.
Nicely done.
I always end up back at square one 😡😢 i come off as confident but when i go restaurants i act stiff. I hate this shit man.
The best piece of advice I ever got was that other people are too worried about what other people think to worry about what your doing. Everyone else is just as worried as you.
PRACTICE BEING COMFORTABLE WITH EMBARRASSMENT... Thank you so much! That was very good advice!!
Thank you for watching!
1:15 You just wanted to show us your amazing singing skills am I right haha?
College Knowledge Guy right, seriously I think too, that he has amazing singing skills
Hahah
I feel like if I lost weight my social anxiety nightmare that I've been dealing with all my life would disappear... but its not really as easy as it sounds...
I went from 290 pounds to 202 but there's still a LONG way to go, and its hard :(
This is true confidence, a lot of people try to look confident, they create the illusion of confidence around themselves but if you really have it you don't need to 'try' like this guy, it's natural and endearing
Wow I got to be honest, this was one of the most helpful and honest SA self help videos I've seen and I've seen alot. You are right on point and hit me when you said step 1 is to be comfortable in your own skin and accept your weirdness, Real Talk great vid thanks
My face can turn red like a tomato when i am by myself, and even i can feel goosebumbs at times, i actually thought that was normal ... Guess there is still a long way
carry ice with you
Katana Hunter Short-term solution.
Troels Lychau bro trust me, Start singing it will be very akward but carry ice with you
Katana Hunter What's the purpose of carrying ice, it doesn't work long term. ?
when your face turn red put ice on it
no it's not long term
Your singing is really nice
This is helpful. I've been trying to think exactly like this too for a while. Sadly, I'm still extremely scared to go outside, go to work, talk to family, or even order food from somewhere. I hope I get over it someday. I've had really bad experiences the last couple years of my life not having friends and being extremely awkward and shy. It's been so hard but I have to try to be strong.
I hope everyone else watching this video will find a way to fight this too!
This really opened my eyes man. I already saw the world this way its just I needed you to say it for it to be reinforced into my mind. Good luck man.
This actually helped me alot thank you.
Elijah Angel My pleasure
Elijah Angel "a lot" alot isn't a word.
Zersixs this is not the best place to bring people down, especially with stuff as ridiculous as small ortograph mistakes...
ademkin I apologize.
I'm too far gone. I am agoraphobic, depressed,drinking too much and smoking.
it's never too far, you're still here. if there's anyone you can talk to about this, ask them to call a psychiatrist for you and go there with you. it only gets better.
+Jessica Kennon its NEVER too late Jess
+Jessica Kennon . Maybe we could all get together and support one another! !
+Firefly how r u doing now?
How r u doing now?
we are only anxious when we're vulnerable. is the discomfort with being vulnerable that sparks it. you need to learn to be comfortable being vulnerable. When you express yourself, emotions, or just walking around publicly. How people learn that is by identifying what makes them feel uncomfortably vulnerable and then tackling it. Good luck.
What I learnt over the past couple of years is that life is WAY too short to care about what people think and social anxiety. It's so meaningless and such a waste of life to care about something that is so trivial. Like you said, the world keeps spinning so I'm getting out there and making the most of the life I've got and not wasting my years being socially anxious like I did in the past! No more wasting time
I feel that Im in a even more unique/different situation than most people with SA and it makes me even more lonely. I havent always had it. I was an outgoing guy and had a large circle of friends. I dated chicks and went over to their houses and went to parties and drank. Then in 11th grade it all came crashing down when my friend offered me Mad Hatter K2 (spice, synthetic weed) and I smoked a shit ton and had a horribly bad trip with everyone at the party laughing at me.
The anxiety started in the next few weeks. It was a downward spiral and I cant take embarrassment, mocking or people judging me without totally freaking. The only place I go is work and dont interact with any of my old friend anymore hardly.
+DLuX I've heard weed doing that to people before. weed is terrible for people with social anxiety or people who are susceptible to developing it. you are not the only one I heard this happen to.
***** yeah weed fucks me up now. I used to be able to smoke in high school but now it just gives me panic attacks. Which is why I get pissed off at all the people on social media putting "legalize weed" and listing all the things it "cures" like anxiety, depression, cancer etc. Weed isnt a miracle cure or one cure fix all thing. Everyone is different and some dont need it.
DLuX that's why I don't want to smoke it. others with social anxiety told me that's for social phobes, it's only good to smoke alone. can't smoke with other people our else you'll get panic attacks.
Excactly
Although Even if you are really popular, that popularity isnt everything. I have the exact same problem but just try to do what this guy tells you. Not everyone cares so much what you do, the world doesnt revolver around you.
I suffer from Social Anxiety in a extreme way and this video doesn't help at all for someone suffering from Social Anxiety! that being said, it might help if you have a mild case of Social Anxiety but if it`s moderate to severe this is useless. clearly you do not understand what Social Anxiety disorder is! there are no simple tricks to Social Anxiety and it is an extremely complex disorder so please dont pretend to understand what real Social Anxiety disorder is! unless you suffer from it you will never truly understand what it is. what you describe is more or less just Anxiety and theres a big difference between Social Anxiety, Anxiety and just being nervous or having a depression, so just to give you some insight to my life there has been days where i had to call in sick at work and didn't eat for days or a week, simply because i was to afraid to go out and buy groceries even tho it would only take me 10 minutes to do it and every day i spend 2 - 3 hours just gathering enough courage to go to work but i will say that at least you try to help.
*Toribot* Wish it was that easy tbh. Social anxiety is the fear of being judged (at least partly) It's also the fear of well just socializing or being afraid you may hurt someone. Or at least this is how the disorder manifests in my situation. And a disclaimer I am not everyone never will be. We all deal with social anxiety in our own ways. And *NanaNix* seems like you have a severe case of it so I would recommend seeing a counselor or a therapist. Stay strong and Live on.
Thank you! All we need is someone to sit us down and tell us "YOU'RE SELF CENTERED. THINK ABOUT HOW OTHERS FEEL FOR A CHANGE. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND REALLY LOOK AT THE WORLD AROUND YOU" I think that's the main root of social anxiety. It's not exactly narcissism because most of us feel incredibly low self esteem but it's definitely self absorption,
I feel like i just learned more valuable lesson here in 5mins than i did in my 7 years of schooling.
"The World doesn't revolve around you, it will go on rather you're dead or alive"
I wish i could do that but it's hard :(
Med Amine Dendani So hard, easier said than done for sure. BUT, you can do it :)
With Christ all things are possible
Hey, i've been in an online school going on the second year now, and it has demolished my social life and the social anxiety, loneliness and depression has gotten worse. I had it before but I usually could manage to have a decent amount of friends, and a nice social life. I have started going to a Christian Youth group, and its been okay I guess but i'm having trouble making friends still, and i've been shy or nervous a lot of the time so I feel like people aren't going to be friends with me. Of course i'm really kind of desperate to make friends there since obviously there is nothing else lol, but its hard making friends w/ the anxiety. Also, I kind of want to go back to highschool but I don't know if i'll make friends, and if the reasons I left will just make me want to leave again. I just want to have fun again, and enjoy my high school years..... :(
+Matt Lord I feel ya. Over the past year and a half, I graduated high school and left my church. Those were the places where all my friends were- places I felt comfortable in. And now it's like I can't do anything. I have NO idea how to make new friends or even go about being social. And just the thought of it makes me anxious. I just want what I used to have...friends, people and places I'm comfortable with..idk.
I don't know if I have any advice for you- just know you're not alone. Sometimes it can feel like I'm the only person in the world who feels lonely, so hang in there:)
Well you're gorgeous so I don't think it should be to hard for you(: but thank you! I hope everythings turns out okay for you too.
+Matt Lord Aw, thanks:) Good Luck
Omg! I recently started online school due to social anxiety also! We have alot in common!!
+Matt Lord sometimes people avoid the beautiful introverted ones. They call them Snobs ... it makes it even worse, Cause you're afraid of them and they are afraid of you.`
I know that it's a common thing to say, but it really resonated with me the way you said the world keeps spinning whether you act or not.