When he said "You deserve to be happy, you deserve to have everything you want" I immediately started crying. No one has ever told me that...ever. I was neglected as a kid and rarely received any kind of positive messages. No wonder my self esteem is shot Edit: 3 years later. Thank you all for the likes. I've never had a post get so much of a response. Neato! For those asking, I still fight my battles, every single day. But I am so much farther along nowadays. Repetition has been key. It's hard to fight those negative thoughts inside, but keep on pushing, don't give up, and they will be replaced with something better. I'm in a better place now, and life is beginning to reflect that. Y'all, don't stop fighting for yourselves. It's hard, but worth it. And to the few haters who've posted, y'all need to check yourself in the mirror. Projecting says alot about a person. Water meets its own level. Feel free to kick dust cause your BS ain't welcome here.
Bro it takes time and hard work but im here 2 tell you that if you work on yourself, you will fix this and become stronger than the people who never had this peoblem in the first place! I had a terrible self esteem, I mean I was fucking terrible, now, now I create the life I want!
Self esteem is something I struggled ever since I was a kid. It’s hard for me to accept myself when I think others expectations are high and I will never reach them. After reading so many power comments, I’ve realized that the one who really need to accept myself after all is myself. I will try to start loving myself and caring myself from now on. Wish me luck guys.
*The 6 pillars of self-esteem* (like it's explained in the video, starting at 15:08) *1) The practice of living consciously* - Are you aware, are you mindful of the behaviour that you have? No = low self-esteem Yes = high self-esteem *2) The practice of self acceptance* - Do you accept yourself as you are? Or do you always criticize and judge yourself that you have to be better, smarter or prettier? - Or can you just accept yourself and be who you are? - That greatly increases your self-esteem! *3) The practice of self responsibility?* - Do you actually take responsibility for your life? Not just the good parts, but the bad parts, too! The stuff that you think is hurting you the most. The place that makes you feel like a victim. Are you willing to take responsibility for it? Because if you are not, you are gonna stay like a victim and have low self-esteem. - Thats why self-esteem is so critical and important. *4) The practice of assertiveness* - How assertive are you? Especially around people! How assertive are you with your own values, your own priciples, your own philosophy, your own goals? Do you feel like this is something important? Something worth fighting for? Even in face of resistance of others? - It‘s really important to build up you assertiveness. That will also build your confidence. And that is gonna build up your self-esteem. *5) The practice of living purposefully* - So, do you have a purpose in life? Do you have something that your life is about? Somethng that is important? Something that is greater than your life? - To Leo this is one oft he most important ideas of personal development. He has made vieos about it and suggests to check those. - A purpose will make you happy, confident, peaceful and successful in your life. *6) Personal Integrity* - Do you live up to your own expectations of yourself? Or are you always faltering, always being lazy? Are you failing to do the things you need to execute? Are you keeping your own promises to yourself?! Are you living in line with your own highest values? - If you are not you selfesteem will be shocked and if you are your selfesteem will go tot he roof! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Greetings from Germany, my friends. Keep strong! Here are some impactful quotes as food for thoughts. But first I would recommend anyone to check out the *stoic philosophy*, it really can help you out to get a more chilled mind. *"You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength." - Markus Aurelius* *"Nature doesnt hurry, yet everything gets accomplished." - Lao Tzu* *"To improve is to change, to perfect is to change often" - Winston Churchill* *"You can't solve a problem with the same mind that created it" - Albert Einstein* Much love and luck to anyone :)
"The words contained in The Manifesting Manual are the most powerful and profound ones you will ever read manifestation.guide The understanding of the human psyche is beautifully captured throughout, enabling one to fully explore and understand one's own personal mindset.
What helped me the most was when I discovered that I must stop caring what others think of me and start deeply caring what I think of myself. That's when I met a wonderful, caring person who has become my best friend. Me. I now direct all of the energy I used to waste trying to please others, who inevitably ended up despising me, toward myself. This was the key to the prison I had been in for fifty years. The other thing I hope others may understand from this is that it is never too late to change and break free.
If you liked this video, I highly recommend watching my related videos: 1) How To Overcome Shyness - Transform Yourself Into An Extrovert 2) Why Am I Depressed? - The Truth Behind Depression and How To Break Free 3) Personal Development Plan - The Essentials Of Getting Results 4) How To Love Yourself - How To Like Who You Are Right Now 5) How To Be Yourself - Become Your Authentic Self Right Now
If I had perfect teeth like you do, I would NOT be hiding and like I am. You take for granted that you have something that some will never have, and not having the ability to smile changes every experience in your life. When I see someone like you who has money, probably a beautiful woman in your life, and perfect teeth, who is telling us how to have better self esteem? It's like a cruel joke that you can NEVER truly get or even understand. The amount of jealousy that I feel is not healthy at all.
@@Valkonnen obviously your teeth, and the effect that this prevents you from smiling and finding joy in life, is a major pain point for you, however by minimizing the content of the video just because the presenter has better teeth than you is completing missing the point of his message. EVERYONE ON THE PLANET has one or more pain points they are contending with. Some are physical and outwardly obvious, whilst others are psychological scars that no one might ever be aware of. Perhaps Leo might envy your hair, on account of him not having any, but the real point of this talk is about achieving INNER peace with yourself, irrespective of how your physical body presents to the world. If you can attain that, your physical shortcomings will no longer feel so overwhelmingly significant in determining your happiness and sense of fulfillment. I wish you luck.
An over inflated self esteem leads to narcissism. In my years of teaching and studies I've found with my clients that self-acceptance is more powerful and valuable than self-esteem. Though having both is good. Nice work!
Yes. But tell yourself that every poor decision you've made in the past years are some great experiences for the futur. That means you won't do them again, you will have more knowledge on what to do and not do and maybe you will be able to tell other people in your entourage WHY something is a good (or bad) idea. There you go, hope it helped a little bit. :)
By digging deep into myself with meditation, i've come to understand some things when it comes to low self esteem: What if I told you that low self esteem and confidence were defence-mechanisms that you used unconciously in order to survive and protect yourself from potential harm in the future? Let me explain. Low self esteem is deep rooted into a belief. It doesn't matter what that belief is, just understand that it is a belief and it is part of your belief-system. Low self esteem may come from the fact that you as a child was overprotected by one or both of your parents and maybe by other family members. Maybe you were born really small and grew up to become a small child in school who also was not the sharpest knife in the drawers when it came to academics or social interaction with the other kids. The point I am trying to make is, that the people who tried to protect you all the time, gave you a sense of being fragile, weak and not able to handle the demands of the world. Over time you begin to realise that you are fragile. Physically you are not very strong, and the other children in school seems to get along fine and do okay with school-work, but not you. And they keep hinting this at you or by directly telling you this. Knowing all of this, you begin to develop a sense of self worth and adequacy. Low self esteem and confidence are just the symptoms of your low feelings of self worth and adequacy. The bottom line is, you were not born with the strong genes that your parents and familly favor, so they start overprotecting you, because they know that you are not able to survive very well on your own. Over time you begin to understand this and then as you mature with age, you start to protect yourself aswell. Now you see the potential danger in trying anything new and you become very cautious. This tendency keeps on going all the way up to adulthood. Nature and it's natural selection, who chooses who get's to live and who get's to die can indeed be very cruel. Maybe you are a guy or girl reading this, in your early 20s. Realise that you have survived the world this long. You have come this far, and along the way you have matured and maybe grown away from insecurities. You have learnt many things along the way and perhaps developed certain skills. Now it is time to realise that this defence-mechanism that you have kept with you for all these years no longer is helpful to you. It is time to throw it away, destroying them. When I say destroy, I mean, get into the art of meditation and witness your own thought-processes so that they can disappear over time. You will come to understand more of this by listening to OSHO Rajneesh or Sadhguru.
Bro, everything you've mentioned is literally me. I have low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Developed mental illnesses also like stress disorder, OCD, social anxiety and depression.
I have horribly low self esteem with crippling shyness plus depressive mood swings. I am trying to overcome it but I always feel that I am not worth anything to anyone, despite my family telling me otherwise.
violet is Dun, you really dont, for you low self esteem isnt a problem you will still get love sex kindness support, you will still have a family and marry, for women it just isnt an issue for a man it will tear his life to shreds ! if your a man with low self esteem and shy you are fucked beyond belif not just because of those things but because you will NEVER get a woman, you will never have any support from women, you will never have any love, you will never have a girlfriend family or wife, these things will make the self hate even worse making it less likely you will get a woman, making the self hate worse making it less likely you will get a woman, making the self hate worse , until eventually you will just have to live every second not only with all this with no support but also the loanliness will make everything 100000000000000000000000 times worse, you just dont understand your life is piss easy you have everything, if you were born male you would understand the impact low self esteem has, you really cant understand just how hard life is !, luckily for you , you never will ! so please dont pretend you understand you dont ! living with this as a man is a hell you just will never understand , your fine, just dont come here were your not wanted please.
mcpartridgeboy why not? I know lots of girls who like shy guys stop being like this And yes im very lonely, idgaf about sex i only want a friend who understands me, a cat even
Well. What would you need to feel validated and worthy enough and why (the way is even more important). Then after you make the list question it. See if you really do want these things and why avain. Take note from all the positives on your body mind soul personality spirit and all the bad ones. Find the core limiting beliefs and question them as well. The Truth alone that you will discover will set you free . Hope this helped
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watching your video and alot of them, i have to appologize for sounding off at you, i was not in a good place that day, second i have alot of reaspect for you as you have a lot of amazing inteligant things to put forward and in that i can see why you do what you do, as its for people like you that others turn to for guidance and help, i like you now lol :-) your one of the good ones thank you xxx you help x sorry for the spelling, its makes most people laugh, i spell how it sounds called dyslexia x take care and have a nice day x
The modern conception of "self-esteem" is ultimately dooming. Despite Branden's highfaluting rhetoric, self-esteem essentially comes down to "comparison" between self and others: If I am equal or superior on some metric, then I feel worthy; If I am inferior based on some measure, then I am not worthy. In the end, the system is flawed and self-destructing. The problem of self-esteem began when "individualism" became paramount in the Western world. In the wake of the asserted "self", there logically arose the need to "justify" the "value" of the "individual". And voila, the psychology of "self-esteem" was born. In contrast, there are no big self-esteem issue in tight-knit communities or traditional societies where self and community are blurred. In communities like these, one is "part" of society, not "separate" from society. If one lived on a remote island alone, "self-esteem" would never come up. One simply "lives" day by day. But self-esteem becomes a potential problem in societies composed of _separated_ (or alienated) individuals because whatever perceives itself as "distinct" must justify and rationalize its distinctiveness and "reason for being".
Octavus5 I agree. I have thought of that too, the desert island thing, where you'd simply be focused on surviving. Only modern man worries constantly about being happy. People think if you don't smile, you're not happy. What is the state of being constantly happy? Seems unreal, since life is such a struggle.
Gus Grizzel _"Only modern man worries constantly about being happy."_ Being happy (in the mind) and healthy (in the body) are natural objectives, but self-esteem is different from these, I believe. Self-esteem can be compared to "nationalism". Is it necessary that citizens are jingoistic or nationalistic? Not really. These tend to be rather "primitive" sentiments that often arise when sovereignty or independence are threatened. Or there is an unhealthy _complex_ whereby comparisons are made based on some arbitrary metric. Truly healthy nations simply go about their affairs as sovereign states without much ado. The question of "who is better" or their "reason for being" never arises. They are independent nation-states and exist as such and no justifications for their being are ever necessary.
Octavus5 If you live in a nation where it matters if you contribute or can affect keeping a quality standard of living, you could say that nationalism can matter. It's subjective because what matters to one people may not be of concern to another, past the normal basic requirements to survive. The obsession with being happy is just silly. If you work a job, trying to be "happy" about it will usually fail. It's the wrong mindset about it. You're an animal in the world trying to survive. If you spend your time drinking beer, watching TV, etc., there is little satisfaction in that. If you spend your time learning about the world, learning to play music, taking care of your body, and helping your family, there is more satisfaction in that, and usually "happiness". Happiness is not some fairy dust cloud that descends on people. It's usually the result of some satisfactory interaction with people or things.
Gus Grizzel _"If you live in a nation where it matters if you contribute or can affect keeping a quality standard of living, you could say that nationalism can matter."_ Nationalism falls victim to the same trap as self-esteem. It's useful on a "primal" level (just as are other emotions like anger, fear, envy, etc), but not necessary and ideally should be avoided. _"The obsession with being happy is just silly."_ The irony may be that if you are "obsessed" with "your" happiness, it will probably be elusive to the extent your frame of reference is narcissistic. But when you begin to look beyond yourself and see yourself as part of the larger universe and find meaning/purpose in the greater scheme, the chances are that you'll be a happier individual.
A lot of my self esteem issues stem from a fear of rejection. That is, I don't handle criticism and rejection well, and this makes me reluctant to interact with people for fear of being put down. Any advice?
"No person or group has the power to determine how I think about myself and my feeling of self." If you can deeply believe this you will be free from the fear of rejection.
Hi Leo, (from Armenia) \Wanted to share my own experience about fixing Low Self-Esteem. For last 2-3 weeks, since I watched this video, I've worked on my personal development a lot, not according to your guidance in this video but in general, and here is what I find. I realized my own potential and increased my belief in my self, I've amazingly became happier and change my habits. Even my friends and family members noticed it in my behavior. Fascinating thing is that when I looked again at 6 pillars of Self Esteem and realized that, omg actually I've worked on these, and now seeing that It's really the part of something more. What inspires me beside all great teachers like you is the vision for the future and the abundance that is coming. My life transformed since I start working on my self. I am thankful to you for teaching this juicy and practical material that affects and changes lives to better.
WOW, the unconscious part of this was a BIG wake up call for me. My narcissistic parents did their work on me there !!! Lol! Hence, I'm here. It makes me want to paint a picture for my son and write the words, '' YOU ARE MAZING JUST FOR BEING YOU''. Thankyou so much for such a wonderful video.
I literally avoid mirrors and pictures because I have no self esteem, this is an amazing and very helpful video, tears literally ran down my face during this video.
we could watch all motivational videos , we can read all books but it wont change a thing if you are not willing to change your own thoughts , i have been down for the last six months , there is a time i felt like i am all alone , worthless n all that is invisible n useless, was contemplation suicide , and just when i was about to jump off the rooftop, i realized that , yea i may die, some will cry , some will not, the ones who hurt you might not care, or even if they felt guilty , its not as such as they will feel seeing u all great n blossomed. life is tough , but its also easy , it's all in our minds, everything , financially, spiritually n even physically. its your believe .n u got to be happy if u choose to.you already have all that it takes to be happy, u just have to be willing to know how to reach it.
I feel like I should thank you. You've helped me to realize that the belief I've had my whole adult life, the belief that I cannot be happy without intimately sharing my life with somebody is not a normal or healthy way to live and that it's something that needs to be addressed.
When you kept listing "maybe you feel like this" and I kept saying "yes" and then I got a bit teary eyed because you're speaking facts. My self esteem is crippled atm and I'm trying to fix it.
@@oklartse thanks for the comment, much appreciated. I'm hanging in there. I'm trying to work on myself, socialise with people online. Right now, my eating/sleeping habits aren't great, work is horrible. I'm just doing what I can to hang in there, at least until the new year. I hope you are doing okay
I love how he talks about how not to be a victim, how to be in control of your life and how to deal with the problems that you face and your are the master of your own life He talks about self-respect, self-worth and you have value. I'm so inspired! Had the same feeling after reading How to Be a Badass by Sharon Law Tucker. I'm getting stronger every day!
What makes no sense to me is that I had a pretty great childhood. My family loved me and raised me right. I was (am) very introverted but back then people didn’t outright scare me. I had no traumatic experiences. And still, between the ages of 13 and 16, I somehow grew to feel like the most inferior thing on the planet. The worst things that ever happened to me were those friendly jabs that are commonplace in high school; yet they felt like assaults on my worth and existence. Perhaps I’m hypersensitive, not wired right for human interaction. But whatever it is, it took away my entire adolescence, and I’m still struggling with it today. It is a terribly inexplicable burden, being so naturally afraid of the very thing that makes us human.
Sometimes you can track down where it comes from, but sometimes you can’t. Most traumatic events are everyday events that come from the wrong person in the wrong moment and we couldn’t process that emotionally because we did not know how to. Don’t worry too much on the source, and do your everyday work, step by step, you will get clarity and feel better!
Trauma can be of many sorts. If you still see this take this into perspective. As a child your classroom and parents are your world and being disapproved of such as parents teaching kids not to be too loud in public place can be taken as your parents not loving you(your view on world as a child, and that is a trauma, which with adult pov can be silly)and not loving you means it threatens your survival and that aspect of you being loud and expressive is disowned. My English is not excellent but tried my best.
I was abused physically, emotionally, and sexually as a child. It's because of this abuse that my self esteem is very low. I think I don't deserve anything nice. And I'm not good enough either. I'm depressed all the time. I'm working on everything. I hope to be a happy person someday. 😢
Minecraft Player I was abused emotionally and sexually and always settling for less then I deserve and having family judge my body caused for me to have a low self-esteem from I blame myself I want to tell you will get through your struggles I know it’s hard because I still struggle you are enough and one day you will see that 😢
diamond pickaxe thank you I wish we all never had a bad past that caused us to have problems such as depression low self-esteem and to feel unworthy and to feel like shit about ourselves
diamond pickaxe we will all heal defiantly it just take time I hope what ever struggle you are going through you are getting support I’m always here even though this is just RUclips
My childhood was kind of fucked up. I've always had low self esteem. Lately though it seems really low! Like I don't feel I deserve anything. I feel so anxious and depressed. I wish I could fix this shit. I'm 27 now though :/
Remove toxic people from your life, even if family, and make sure your home environment is as pleasant as possible. Learn to love yourself. Sounds bland, but that's what i'm trying.
It is hard to say that you are gonna be judged and hated it is all you want to know that it is not about you it is about how people see their self don't feel inferior you deserve love 😘
This is everything I’ve been looking for, just never thought to type in the you tube search bar for help. Thank you. I’m a 1 and was never shown self esteem nor raised with praise. I’ve been a doormat and have exhausted myself giving to everyone and not looking out for me.
I think i have extremely low self esteem. I have extremely low self confindence and i struggle to speak with people because of fear of not getting heard by them. I also feel I have no importance. That anyone can leave me without thinking twice and i deserve to be miserable. I hope I can reshape my life because this life has become crippling to me.
i have vry low self esteem its so sad i always feel i don't fit well in whateva places i go... i hate being with people and i enjoy my own compny cz i alwys feel dat ol pple r there just to point out my flaws
I've seen a lot of these kind of self-help, motivational videos. For the most part it's just people talking about their personal experiences with their struggles. That offers some insight, but none of them ever fully address the problem, or define it on a general level. This is different. You seem to really know what you're talking about; you explain the problem very thoroughly and academically, and provide great solutions to the problem. You also have a lot of content, and you seem to work hard. I'd like to say thank you and keep making videos, you're doing a great job.
Outstanding presentation. I have never heard so hopeful a presentation that inspires me to change. Most presentations leave me discouraged and hopeless to change. Off to order Branden's book and get started on replacing my LSE with newer, positive thinking. All I ever got in therapy and so-called friends and Christians was shame and clichéd lectures.
Your way of expressing these concepts always attracts me, and nothing, but nothing compares with it-- the tone, the depth of spirituality, I can't put it into words. Your Manifesting Manual is something I can read over and over and soak up. I am in process of making the routine a solid part of my life, and it has made a difference! I LOVE your 12 meditations too ruclips.net/user/postUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq I know I am a different person after 9 months with Super Manifestor, and in process of continued positive change! You deserve accolades every day of the year! Keep on with everything, and as we say in Spanish, ANIMO! Lots of love and every blessing to you both.
My father wouldn't let me share my thoughts or contribute to any thing he talked about since I was 10 years. This kind of made me think I was useless and had nothing productive out of me. I wouldn't contribute to anything in the class/ even asking a question because I had this mind 'ohhh they'd say what the f** I was talking about'. Thank you for this video, It has given me new energy and I see boosting my low esteem. Thanks a million.
BARAKA BLESSING same when i was a kid i wasnt always shy and introverted. But somewhere between middle school i started getting judged for the stupid things i did. So now i just shut the fuck up so people dont think there’s something mentally wrong with this guy. Its to the point where idk if im ok or i got autism or smtn
No offence but your dad's a repressed knob with no emotional intelligence whatsoever. Your grandad was probably like that with him too, causing repressed rage and god only knows what other issues. Forgive him, and yourself. Impossible, maybe. That's the goal, at least
I appreciate your videos incredibly. For most of my life, as crazy as it sounds, I always imagined a life coach being someone whose job it is to yell at you and tell you not to look back at your past at all and put all of the blame on you. It is a relief to hear you say that investigating one's own childhood is not discouraged as something that only "victims" do. I have gone more than 30 years believing that, among the many things that I don't deserve, I do not deserve to investigate things that may not have been my fault. Thank you!
I think one thing this misses is that self esteem really can fluctuate, at times in my life ive been on both sides of the "scale". Its the falling back into low self esteem im trying to prevent
All my life I've always had a phobia that I was going to fail school - infact I graduated at the top of my class - As a child i struggled with a learning disability and I shyed out and always had to work hard And there were people who told me I had social problems I feel like those early school days made me have this irrational fear Thank you !
I have a bad habit of saying sorry all the time. Is this due to low self esteem and if so, how do I stop saying sorry - even for things which are not my fault?
During high school I destroyed myself, trying to achieve perfection with my body and with all my performances. Most of the times I failed to achieve perfect results, but the few times when I was able to do that nothing was changing, my self esteem was always so poor. When I reached the bottom trying to knife myself in the stomach, I started to rebuilt myslef. Now I have been continuing this journey against my negative and destructive thoughts for almost years and I fell I'm becoming the person that I wanted to be when I was a child. The journey has not an end and it is so complicated and difficult, but you are able to face all these difficulties, so start now even if you fell very weak, because betting on your self is the best thing you can do in all your life! Keep moving forward!
Leo, 2 years ago I watched almost all of your videos. And now I found this video by accident and I decided to check on how much I improved myself since then, so I watched it again. And I'm really thankful for you, because according to your video, and also my life (obviously), I successfully developed my self-esteem to the next level! And well, tbh I wouldn't be here without your videos! Thank you!
I know that at this point in my life it's a waste of time to place blame on others but I really blame my parents for my lack of self-esteem. Lack of affection and support... it feels awful to live a life where you often feel like you're no one important so please don't forget to tell your children how awesome they are every day and shower them with love ! It must truly make a difference.
Rini it is so true I know how it feels to not feel loved to always be judge to never feel the affection from your parents you got this you will be ok one day and you will have someone who adores you and show you affection even it’s not your family as sad as it is this life is beautiful
I used to have a low self esteem and its a constant fight. What was useful to me was to begin to think simple and to remember that life is short and we wont be here forever. In my case it was all related to what others would think about me. I suffered from that for so many years till I started to learn that what really matters is my own life. I stopped being so polite and so well mannered because people that notice that on you inmediately take advantage. Try to prioritize your life and what you like. Its not a bad to be a little selfish, everybody is a bit selfish. You need to, because when you have low self esteem you end up being the servant of everybody else.
My self esteem is so low that I’m in a bad place right now. I had friends ask me for favors and guilt trip me to get me to accept their requests anyway. I couldn’t even say no without them making me feel bad.
Cherry Hamilton you deserve better friends then them one day you will get friends who treat you good know your worth with friendships I struggle with friendships myself
***** I'm in a situation where I feel I have very little control over circumstances and a large possibility of losing something for what I've worked very hard.
***** The possibility of starting a career overseas, the possibility of settling down and fulfilling my personal and professional dreams, starting a family, etc; all those potentialities can go to the toilet and I can end up losing it all because it all depends on the decision of someone else whom I have absolutely no control over.
***** My current employer or potential future employer. The current one might decide to dispense of my services in the next 6 months and decide not to extend the contract and not to sponsor me. My permanence overseas depends on a sponsorship. I would have to return to my country that I left about a decade ago, where I would have to start from zero all over again. I really want to settle outside, I think I have everything I need to, I speak the language, I have the education and credentials, but it's like my credentials, experience and expertise mean nothing. It all comes down to someone who would decide to take me in. Otherwise, I'm out. Really unfair, considering a lot of people immigrate by other means and are far less educated than myself. Nothing wrong with that, except the unfairness of the system.
***** I _am_ , but the issue remains. They might not even take me in if they find out they need to sponsor me. So not only I have to compete by the merits of my credentials with other candidates but compete against the fact that someone who does _not_ need sponsorship could obviously be more attractive to the employer than me.
Wow this is amazing i caught myself crying for many reasons! Makes me realize how low my self esteem has been for so long! Thank u for an awesome video - susana
This is the first time where I've been fully aware that I've literally highlighted certain dates in my head, because on those specific dates, something traumatic had happened to me that played an incredibly crucial role in the way how I developed growing up. I've paid more attention to those negative days than the more positive ones, such as my birthday, the day I graduated from high school, when I started my first job, when my parents bought me a car, etc.. These videos are having me do some serious re-evaluation with my life. I didn't even expect to tear up from this video at all.
I have low esteem since I don’t like myself right now. I’m trying hard to be someone I want to be but when I fail it feels hurtful. It mainly has to do with regret. However, I’m just impatient. I’m just glad I’m alive right now. I’m probably 1 for each.
I watched this video twice and after second take I had a journey into my childhood and realized where my low self esteem comes from and it was an amazing feeling that brought joy to my heart...thanks Leo your videos are really helping build my life. Awesome dude
I had good self esteem until my partner of 22 years betrayed me. I sunk. So deep. Not only do I have the lowest self esteem but I physically shake too. I was riding on a confidence high all this time. But really I wasn’t good enough For him. I want help. I want to go back to the person I was.
Pray and give it to God, it's not that you weren't good enough for him; look at the situation from a positive prospective maybe you were to good for him. Y'all were not in alignment let him Go, and what's for you will come use this time alone to process, and release your pain focus working on you, and i guarantee you everything you ever wanted will come in due time... "Life experiences" causes us to grow becoming a better version of ourselves embrace who you have become sometimes Change is good as time passes you'll look back, and recognize why you had those experiences.... "Growth" Good Luck!
Sending you love. Perhaps -he- wasn't good enough for you and this is the universe's way of letting you know that the change was necessary. Stay strong. This is an opportunity to re-discover who you are.
Totally get it. Motivation isn't quite as what most people make it to be and people aren't either too. This free cheatsheet really helped me out it might help you out too craigehardel.com/.
The opinion that you "weren't good enough for him" is just that - an opinion that you've formed. It's not a fact. Whenever you catch yourself looking for ways to confirm that opinion, learn to recognise that and call it out. That's how you interrupt that unhelpful pattern of thought. Eg. You see a FB pic of him and some new girl, right? That triggers feelings of shame, rejection, inadequacy etc. In those moments, learn to recognise this is your mind trying to shield you from further emotional trauma by taking you out of the race completely. Someone else's actions have nothing to do with your self worth or your sexual marketplace value (horrible term, I know lol) 🙄 Thanks for sharing
How can one accept one's self while at the same time try to fix himself, I have always found that concept contradicting,if you love the way you are that wouldn't push you to improve yourself ; if I loved my forgetfulness I wouldn't seek memory improvement techniques, I hear that a lot: "love yourself " and what you mentioned in one of your videos where you asked the audience to watch an ordinary book, appreciate it at the moment "no analyzing" it's fairly impossible for me to love without analyzing, it's very similar to forgive unconditionally to be at peace. Thanks in advance
Actualized.org but acting like a parent _internally that is_for every human being you run into through life is a demanding approach, I believe each one of us has a deep inside spring of giving /love that we are born with, but what if this spring is jammed for some reason, this approach of forgiving others hoping they will evolve/grow will put you in a state of a psychological drought that messes up your peace.
aura - I'm not talking about being a parent for others. I'm talking about being a parent for YOURSELF! Self-esteem is 100% an internal personal issue. Don't worry about other people.
aura - In the book Nathaniel says to change what is possible to change and accept what is not possible to change. So for example if you are not confident about your physical attractivity - you would then learn to accept your face or genetic conditions (you can't change your face), but get involved with some physical training and better diet to get in shape (you can significantly change the composition and shape of your body).
Thanks Leo, what a powerful talk on self esteem.. I have started practicing mindfulness, positivity, and looking at the world as a safe and happy place. I suffered from depression for many, many years but now have recovered greatly and I feel alive. It was a long and difficult road to recovery but hey, I am brave and resilient to have came this far. I made a commitment to myself not to look back. I'm just looking around for more self-help articles/videos to boost my now positive outlook in life and that's how I came to watch you here.
I’m 30 years old I’ve always struggled with this. I’ve finally decided to do something about it. This is the first step in the right direction. I didn’t have a great childhood I’ve been in abusive relationships. I struggle with confidence with even speaking directly to people. I’ve become a great faker but behind close doors I pick myself apart all the time, and find myself always crying. I am happy my boyfriend sent me this video. Never too late to change
Hi there--I was in a similar boat years ago! I have been on a self improvement quest for 10 years. I am a life coach... new to RUclips. If there is anything I can do to help--let me know! No one should struggle with this...but it will make you stronger...and your relationship with your boyfriend even better!
I just started watching this channel, but i gotta say i read nathaniel brandons 6 pillars of self esteem about a year ago now. It was an absolute life changer. 10/10 reccomend.
In my opinion mindful-self compassion is a very important component in building and increasing genuine self esteem. People with low self esteem are very critical of themselves (rumination >>negative self talk>>behaviour >>low self esteem). Catching the thought and mindfully expressing self compassion towards the self can rewire the brain from the usual way of thinking. And that’s where real change can take place. Because then you can ask yourself: “how would someone that love himself/herself would treat themselves?” That’s what parenting or relate thing the inner child is. Mindful self compassion. Hopefully this makes sense. English is my third language but I think I was able to express myself well!
well, i have been bullied in middle school. I dont know how it started but once it began, i started to hate everyone. Even when people tried to get me into the class tribe feel, i insulted them and told them to leave me the fuck alone. So they started hating me again. After that it was all over and when i came into highschool i started to feel weird whenever i started to talk to someone, when it was not related to school. I felt like i bother them and get on their nerves, even though it was ok. It is still like this today. I feel like everything i stand for, the passions i have and even the things i like are bad. I hide my hobbies and passions from everyone and when i dont i feel misserable.
I've knocked down so many times by my own family and.spouse its hard to believe in myself like I once did. I stand up for myself from .time to time.Its tough out in life and sometimes I have codependency.
I've lived a perfect life so far, im so grateful yet I've become anxious and terrible self esteem, which just makes me feel like a failure, because I've had so much given to me ...
Easier said than done. The value in these videos is the introspection; figuring out WHY we feel certain ways. A quick list of "tips to raise self esteem!" won't do anything for people who are actually struggling with these issues.
I like to think of myself as confident but it's always nice to have a refresher because there could be something that you're saying that would make things even better
I grew up being called names..because of my dental issue at the time.So I could never laugh or talk freely because i felt like people were always staring & making fun of me. more often that not i always had to explain what had happened to my tooth. hated that.It made me really sensitive as a kid coz I didn't really know how to deal with such..defend & protect myself mentally from my own self( self critism)..most of the time I took negative remarks to heart plus I was very very shy & a nerve wreck.Always feeling guilty too. As a result I started to feel worthless, empty and developed a paranoia..of people always teasing me or saying negative things behind my back.Day by day I became quiet....avoiding social situations.. specifically with people I don't know & just not trusting in my ability to make decisions on my own.i just wanted to be cool.... comfortable within my own skin and be respected.Too bad school doesn't teach us such.Which is a Shame really. Though I had friends ...I felt misunderstood you know.Sometimes I wished I could trade shoes with certain kids I admired coz I saw qualities in them that I thought where out of reach for me.Thus I've learnt to better myself..I still find that I still slip back into my childhood struggles.
I have odd ears, in that one ear is has an (concha I believe it is called), which is different to the other one i.e. the concha is pushed out in one ear and 'in' in the other ear. When I got to adolescence I thought, "...f..k I, will never get a girlfriend...". The reality was that nobody noticed or cared when they did notice. My first girlfriend jumped back in shock when she finally noticed, she laughed a bit and that was it! All out in the open, and of course nothing changed. Anyone who is bothered by such things are not worth bothering with. I am proud of my odd ears now! 'cos nobody has ears like mine.
People will pick on others because they dont feel good about themselves..... it takes focus off their flaws and makes them feel superior over someone else. In general...... people can be cruel. I'm sorry that they made you to feel insecure. HOWEVER..... I think we ALL have got teased or laughed at over some lil something in our lifetime. Like I said..... people can be heartless! I want you to remember FREDDIE MURCURY(lead singer of the rock band QUEEN).... He is a LEGEND, HE too had been teased about his dental issues. Look how he turned out. ;)
Your skin isn't paper, don't cut it Your face isn't a mask, don't hide it Your body isn't a book, don't judge it Your life isn't a movie, don't end it To anyone going through anything, stay strong, you can and will get through it
The only thing is look how much years you have left, how many things you can do in the time you have left dont let other people make you think you cant do something imagine all the people that have lost their kids life to these things you are just the best but its your choice if you want to tell yourself that everyone you see can be going through the same always compliment people it can help alot
@Dxlilah It doesn't really matter what kind of books I read. They may not apply to your needs since everyone is different. Start with the little things, positive self-talk, making your bed, cleaning your room, personal hygiene. Also running or cycling or any sport is very important. Speaking my mind and telling the truth is the best thing I ever did. But about books, if you insist. I read about communication, psychology, how to ask good questions. And now I'm reading about the human body and sports. But reading is one thing APPLYING the knowledge is something else. Good Luck!
I never post comments but I decided yesterday to start building on self-love and self-esteem. Thanks for the videos, they have been tremendously helpful in this goal I've set for myself.
Thank you for this. I know I have crappy self esteem, (3/10 3/10 on the numeral scales used in video for the self assessment,) and this video helped by both reinforcing where I feel it’s coming from, and offering more insight and perspective. The 6 pillars of self esteem really hit home with how terrible I am at accepting myself, how much more assertive I need to be, how little purpose I feel I have, and how badly I live up to my own expectations. Some of these things I didn’t realize was having such an impact on my self esteem. I’m definitely going to look into more of these videos. I know where most of it comes from, I just don’t know how to take action. I might look into counseling/life coaching on the side, but I want to tackle as much as I can on my own first. I need to feel more in control of my life. I want to feel happy and empowered again
You explained so well. Really needed to hear this today as feeling so broken. I was listening to Nathaniels audio book but it was a bit too wordy for me as wasn't really getting what he was saying. You've explained more clearly in a language I can understand. I will watch more of your videos now. Thank you ❤️
this guy is ok, but continually talks in circles, neutral platitudes, very non -specific. I hope he takes this to heart, listens and improves his technique. I definitely want to watch more. Thank you for listening.
MARK FERGUSON he does. but I think the repetitions have enforcing value, and not obsolete one. Often you watch to a RUclips video and a week later you forget you ever watched it, or what it said, unless it was repetitive, at least in my case.
I feel poised after watching this clip. I grew up seeing myself suffering through low self-worth without having idea of the cause. Among all I have experienced, I like taken responsibility and achieving my goal(very very high self efficacy) but can be somewhat discouraged by challenges. Thank you. I am working through this issue and will be fixed
im on my path and it hit me really hard when i realized the main thing i need to work on is my self esteem. everything you said on this video is right and im glad that now i know its an actual thing and not just me sucking as a person.
I see you. I've felt like this all my life. I was always afraid of participating in group discussions cause I thought my opinions and thoughts weren't good enough. I always doubted myself and felt ashamed of a lot of things in my life. But now that I'm self-aware I'm trying to undo everything and rebuild my self-esteem. I wish you all the best with your journey and I hope you find happiness
I'm kind of surprised by something, I ranked myself at a 7 on self-efficacy, which is good, but my self image I ranked as a 2, yet I'm still going out an doing things people with low self esteem may not do. I've become a front end supervisor in a store, and started my own gaming channel on RUclips. It seems like I've learned to ignore the part of my mind that says I shouldn't because it won't work. I'm ambitious, but the pillar I am lowest on by far is self-acceptance. I had a rough early life always being in the hospital (14 operations by up until I was 12) and a lot of bullying to boot. I don't bother with dating because I assume I'm unattractive. I've had to get better at my assertiveness since becoming a supervisor, which is the kind of change I was looking for when I took that job, and I think I could do better at taking responsibility for myself. Anyway, I just thought it was interesting that even though my self-image is so low, it doesn't seem to stop me from doing neat things. I suppose that should raise my self-image a bit, and it may be the negative self-image that could be powering those decisions subconsciously, as kind of a "showed you" to people who picked on me everyday for many years. But I do still constantly feel like I'm just not good enough at anything I do, and I think this belief may be a mistake, or rather that the belief that this is a good belief because it keeps me improving, may be a mistake. But I don't want to get lazy and worthless either. Anyway, I love this kind of stuff, I don't know how much I know about it, but I've been doing the introspection thing since middle school.
Great video. I admire those who have a good childhood...I know that I have to take up the responsibility and fix my life and all that, but it's just soo exhausting to sit there analyzing my childhood again and again and again...
There's no such thing as self esteem. What you're really talking about is self confidence and confidence is gained through truth and honesty and selflessness.
Bourne Accident I think the same thing. When we achieve or accomplish something WE think is good, that matters to US, we feel good. No one can take that from us, because we did something we set out to do.
Bourne Accident Confidence is gained through mastering problems. I don't see where honesty and selfnessless comes into play here? - Apart from being solutions to problems ofcourse ;)
Manato Sola Yes I totally agree that confidence is gained through mastery of problems, and I think the ablility to master problems is greatly enhanced through selfless and honest behavior.
I can tell you've studied a lot on this and its great to pass along what you've learnt to others ;) We r forever learning n processing .. I think wisdom is the secret of happiness .. you cant fix something if you don't know how it works ! keep up the great work !
Good job Leo. I grew thinking I wasn't good enough my whole entire life. I thought I would never make it to be anything. I thought I was beneath dirt and no one would ever love me. But I realized that my life is the complete opposite of that people have love and care for me. I am a person who is worth so much more then the words and their self representation. I feel like that I could take the world and that I cN be something better then my old self. My self esteem is definetly not the highest but it will be sooner or later Thays for sure. I believe I was placed on this world for my deep thinking and ability to be self aware of things that others aren't. I know I am gifted in every shape and form and I will go far beyond this point to bigger and better places. I will not let people walk all over me because I am worth so much more then that..
Getting away from toxic friends and narcissistic ex catapulted my self esteem over the last few month. Now I am working on moving out and getting away from my parent to further improve. :) fingers crossed I get that room I applied for.
At times people are extremely mean. We are so valuable each one of us no matter what we have. When we are hurt, we must take a rest then get back up and become stronger and become a better human being. Wish you all great success!!
I never knew that I had high self esteem until I watched this video, because I always go after what I believe in. Thank you so much for your inspirational speech.
Leo- First of all, thanks for your videos. Second, I really hope you can help me....I am a very sensitive person and always have been. I go to therapy to help with stress management and self esteem but I still find myself getting overwhelmed at times and crying. It is how I express myself I guess- though I wish I didn't. The crying is a physical reaction I cannot seem to control...I am an easy crier and even small things set me off. The problem is, I cry too often and can't make it stop. I cry frequently at work and I'm known as the office crier. No one is mean to me about it but they have made comments so I know this is true. As you can imagine, this isn't really a good impression in the workplace. I feel like people maybe think I'm weak or worry I can't handle difficult tasks on my own. Worse, I worry they might think I do it to manipulate or be dramatic/get attention. I don't want to be the crier anymore. How can I stop crying at work or in social situations so that I can avoid embarrassment and getting a bad reputation? PLEASE HELP...this is ruining my career and destroying my self esteem even worse because I am always feeling inferior or ashamed. Thank you for anything you can tell me or any advice you have. -K
Crying is how you control others. It's a form of egotism. The reason you cry is because you're like a baby... any thing that doesn't go your way you want to control and somehow you've learned to use crying as your tool to make others and yourself feel sorry for you and give you what you want. Or you fail and you cry too. It's an ego game. You have to start being much more honest about how selfish and petty this behavior is. Start practicing meditation and mindfulness. Also start studying about ego.
Actualized.org What if you cry on your own? It gets out stress chemicals and I can often think more clearly after even if it's at a sad film, but yes it does sound like this girl is a little over the top as it seems to be in public.
Actualized.org I already study meditation and practice mindfulness. I get that the crying is related to the ego but it isn't manipulative or intentional. In fact, it never gets me anything I want ( and never has, even as a child I was ignored or yelled at if I cried)...it has the exact opposite effect. It pushes others away or gets me further from my goal. I'm not sure I understand why you say that and I think that's actually pretty hurtful of you to say- I don't try to control others...only myself. The crying is related to failing or feeling bad about myself. I am very hard on myself and get upset often when I make mistakes...I start to judge myself. However- I'm not sure how to stop judging myself and avoid the emotional reaction that happens. The crying doesn't serve me in any way...it actually makes me judge myself harsher afterwards because I feel embarrassed or weak. I thought you would be able to give some helpful insight but it seems like you are misinterpreting me and assuming a lot...
Ruth Barr I never feel better after I cry in public...it's embarrassing And yes, it is over the top. It's ruining certain aspects of my life, in my opinion. I'm becoming very frustrated with myself
I think I'm s 7-8 in self efficacy but a 2-3 in self worth. How do I learn how to respect myself more. I think I like myself, but always try to convince myself I'm worthless and don't deserve happiness.
I forgot which videos I watched but you've helped me a lot and I've gone from really low self-esteem to pretty much confident most of the time. Thank you so much!
When he said "You deserve to be happy, you deserve to have everything you want" I immediately started crying. No one has ever told me that...ever. I was neglected as a kid and rarely received any kind of positive messages. No wonder my self esteem is shot
Edit: 3 years later. Thank you all for the likes. I've never had a post get so much of a response. Neato!
For those asking, I still fight my battles, every single day. But I am so much farther along nowadays. Repetition has been key. It's hard to fight those negative thoughts inside, but keep on pushing, don't give up, and they will be replaced with something better. I'm in a better place now, and life is beginning to reflect that. Y'all, don't stop fighting for yourselves. It's hard, but worth it.
And to the few haters who've posted, y'all need to check yourself in the mirror. Projecting says alot about a person. Water meets its own level. Feel free to kick dust cause your BS ain't welcome here.
I started crying when I read your post. I'm sorry you had a fucked up childhood.
I started crying as well... omfg
Bro it takes time and hard work but im here 2 tell you that if you work on yourself, you will fix this and become stronger than the people who never had this peoblem in the first place! I had a terrible self esteem, I mean I was fucking terrible, now, now I create the life I want!
SurplusSoria awwww
SurplusSoria I’m sorry to hear about that ☹️
Self esteem is something I struggled ever since I was a kid. It’s hard for me to accept myself when I think others expectations are high and I will never reach them. After reading so many power comments, I’ve realized that the one who really need to accept myself after all is myself. I will try to start loving myself and caring myself from now on. Wish me luck guys.
How is life comrade
Yes how is life?
How is going so far??
Hey how is it?
Are you loving and respecting yourself fully now?
*The 6 pillars of self-esteem*
(like it's explained in the video, starting at 15:08)
*1) The practice of living consciously*
- Are you aware, are you mindful of the behaviour that you have?
No = low self-esteem
Yes = high self-esteem
*2) The practice of self acceptance*
- Do you accept yourself as you are? Or do you always criticize and judge yourself that you have to be better, smarter or prettier?
- Or can you just accept yourself and be who you are?
- That greatly increases your self-esteem!
*3) The practice of self responsibility?*
- Do you actually take responsibility for your life? Not just the good parts, but the bad parts, too! The stuff that you think is hurting you the most. The place that makes you feel like a victim. Are you willing to take responsibility for it? Because if you are not, you are gonna stay like a victim and have low self-esteem.
- Thats why self-esteem is so critical and important.
*4) The practice of assertiveness*
- How assertive are you? Especially around people! How assertive are you with your own values, your own priciples, your own philosophy, your own goals? Do you feel like this is something important? Something worth fighting for? Even in face of resistance of others?
- It‘s really important to build up you assertiveness. That will also build your confidence. And that is gonna build up your self-esteem.
*5) The practice of living purposefully*
- So, do you have a purpose in life? Do you have something that your life is about? Somethng that is important? Something that is greater than your life?
- To Leo this is one oft he most important ideas of personal development. He has made vieos about it and suggests to check those.
- A purpose will make you happy, confident, peaceful and successful in your life.
*6) Personal Integrity*
- Do you live up to your own expectations of yourself? Or are you always faltering, always being lazy? Are you failing to do the things you need to execute? Are you keeping your own promises to yourself?! Are you living in line with your own highest values?
- If you are not you selfesteem will be shocked and if you are your selfesteem will go tot he roof!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Greetings from Germany, my friends. Keep strong!
Here are some impactful quotes as food for thoughts. But first I would recommend anyone to check out the *stoic philosophy*, it really can help you out to get a more chilled mind.
*"You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength." - Markus Aurelius*
*"Nature doesnt hurry, yet everything gets accomplished." - Lao Tzu*
*"To improve is to change, to perfect is to change often" - Winston Churchill*
*"You can't solve a problem with the same mind that created it" - Albert Einstein*
Much love and luck to anyone :)
Thank you
Thank you for your effort . This helped me.
Thank you for effort that you make for this Zusammenfassung .
Thank u
Thanks for the feedback!
"The words contained in The Manifesting Manual are the most powerful and profound ones you will ever read manifestation.guide The understanding of the human psyche is beautifully captured throughout, enabling one to fully explore and understand one's own personal mindset.
So did the “guide” work for you? I’m asking for a friend
How much have you paid for the likes?
What helped me the most was when I discovered that I must stop caring what others think of me and start deeply caring what I think of myself.
That's when I met a wonderful, caring person who has become my best friend. Me.
I now direct all of the energy I used to waste trying to please others, who inevitably ended up despising me, toward myself.
This was the key to the prison I had been in for fifty years.
The other thing I hope others may understand from this is that it is never too late to change and break free.
Do you believe in late late bloomers? Lol
Jack Lannom how to do this?
If you liked this video, I highly recommend watching my related videos:
1) How To Overcome Shyness - Transform Yourself Into An Extrovert
2) Why Am I Depressed? - The Truth Behind Depression and How To Break Free
3) Personal Development Plan - The Essentials Of Getting Results
4) How To Love Yourself - How To Like Who You Are Right Now
5) How To Be Yourself - Become Your Authentic Self Right Now
If I had perfect teeth like you do, I would NOT be hiding and like I am. You take for granted that you have something that some will never have, and not having the ability to smile changes every experience in your life. When I see someone like you who has money, probably a beautiful woman in your life, and perfect teeth, who is telling us how to have better self esteem? It's like a cruel joke that you can NEVER truly get or even understand. The amount of jealousy that I feel is not healthy at all.
@@Valkonnen obviously your teeth, and the effect that this prevents you from smiling and finding joy in life, is a major pain point for you, however by minimizing the content of the video just because the presenter has better teeth than you is completing missing the point of his message. EVERYONE ON THE PLANET has one or more pain points they are contending with. Some are physical and outwardly obvious, whilst others are psychological scars that no one might ever be aware of. Perhaps Leo might envy your hair, on account of him not having any, but the real point of this talk is about achieving INNER peace with yourself, irrespective of how your physical body presents to the world. If you can attain that, your physical shortcomings will no longer feel so overwhelmingly significant in determining your happiness and sense of fulfillment. I wish you luck.
An over inflated self esteem leads to narcissism. In my years of teaching and studies I've found with my clients that self-acceptance is more powerful and valuable than self-esteem. Though having both is good. Nice work!
It's taken me many years to realise that every poor decision I've made in the last 10-15 years is down to bad self esteem
Warren Spencer I feel ya
exactly
Yes. But tell yourself that every poor decision you've made in the past years are some great experiences for the futur. That means you won't do them again, you will have more knowledge on what to do and not do and maybe you will be able to tell other people in your entourage WHY something is a good (or bad) idea. There you go, hope it helped a little bit. :)
omg same! I've been blaming other people, God, everyone, but I never thought the problem was me, my perception of myself! I'm thankful I know now🍃
Same
By digging deep into myself with meditation, i've come to understand some things when it comes to low self esteem:
What if I told you that low self esteem and confidence were defence-mechanisms that you used unconciously in order to survive and protect yourself from potential harm in the future? Let me explain.
Low self esteem is deep rooted into a belief. It doesn't matter what that belief is, just understand that it is a belief and it is part of your belief-system. Low self esteem may come from the fact that you as a child was overprotected by one or both of your parents and maybe by other family members. Maybe you were born really small and grew up to become a small child in school who also was not the sharpest knife in the drawers when it came to academics or social interaction with the other kids. The point I am trying to make is, that the people who tried to protect you all the time, gave you a sense of being fragile, weak and not able to handle the demands of the world. Over time you begin to realise that you are fragile. Physically you are not very strong, and the other children in school seems to get along fine and do okay with school-work, but not you. And they keep hinting this at you or by directly telling you this.
Knowing all of this, you begin to develop a sense of self worth and adequacy. Low self esteem and confidence are just the symptoms of your low feelings of self worth and adequacy. The bottom line is, you were not born with the strong genes that your parents and familly favor, so they start overprotecting you, because they know that you are not able to survive very well on your own. Over time you begin to understand this and then as you mature with age, you start to protect yourself aswell. Now you see the potential danger in trying anything new and you become very cautious. This tendency keeps on going all the way up to adulthood. Nature and it's natural selection, who chooses who get's to live and who get's to die can indeed be very cruel.
Maybe you are a guy or girl reading this, in your early 20s. Realise that you have survived the world this long. You have come this far, and along the way you have matured and maybe grown away from insecurities. You have learnt many things along the way and perhaps developed certain skills. Now it is time to realise that this defence-mechanism that you have kept with you for all these years no longer is helpful to you. It is time to throw it away, destroying them. When I say destroy, I mean, get into the art of meditation and witness your own thought-processes so that they can disappear over time. You will come to understand more of this by listening to OSHO Rajneesh or Sadhguru.
Thank you so much
Bro, everything you've mentioned is literally me. I have low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Developed mental illnesses also like stress disorder, OCD, social anxiety and depression.
@@bradleybrannings3127 so that's what I'm feeling.
Aurjelling I love u
Amazing, well said. I will definitely check out your listening recommendations
its extremely amazing how you talk without stopping even once for hours
I know right??
asswipe u are special,is that why u run ur mouth? grow up cape crusader. hey isnt batman gay>
jaime gutierrez no u
@@happystrength984 8Abs Och vj8cjj88cjhjj
20 mins
I have horribly low self esteem with crippling shyness plus depressive mood swings. I am trying to overcome it but I always feel that I am not worth anything to anyone, despite my family telling me otherwise.
Lord Sir Crumpet i feel you honey
violet is Dun, you really dont, for you low self esteem isnt a problem you will still get love sex kindness support, you will still have a family and marry, for women it just isnt an issue for a man it will tear his life to shreds ! if your a man with low self esteem and shy you are fucked beyond belif not just because of those things but because you will NEVER get a woman, you will never have any support from women, you will never have any love, you will never have a girlfriend family or wife, these things will make the self hate even worse making it less likely you will get a woman, making the self hate worse making it less likely you will get a woman, making the self hate worse , until eventually you will just have to live every second not only with all this with no support but also the loanliness will make everything 100000000000000000000000 times worse, you just dont understand your life is piss easy you have everything, if you were born male you would understand the impact low self esteem has, you really cant understand just how hard life is !, luckily for you , you never will ! so please dont pretend you understand you dont ! living with this as a man is a hell you just will never understand , your fine, just dont come here were your not wanted please.
mcpartridgeboy why not? I know lots of girls who like shy guys stop being like this
And yes im very lonely, idgaf about sex i only want a friend who understands me, a cat even
mcpartridgeboy everyone here is welcome
And im sure the channel owner agrees :))))))
Well. What would you need to feel validated and worthy enough and why (the way is even more important). Then after you make the list question it. See if you really do want these things and why avain. Take note from all the positives on your body mind soul personality spirit and all the bad ones. Find the core limiting beliefs and question them as well. The Truth alone that you will discover will set you free . Hope this helped
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watching your video and alot of them, i have to appologize for sounding
off at you, i was not in a good place that day, second i have alot of
reaspect for you as you have a lot of amazing inteligant things to put
forward and in that i can see why you do what you do, as its for people
like you that others turn to for guidance and help, i like you now lol
:-) your one of the good ones thank you xxx you help x sorry for the
spelling, its makes most people laugh, i spell how it sounds called
dyslexia x take care and have a nice day x
Aawwwwww
Actualized.org hi
What Меn RЕЕАLLY Want => twitter.com/ba81306da496a0e64/status/804693412402241537 Self Еsteem Undеrstаnding Fiхing Low Sеlf EЕЕЕstееm
Actualized.org
The modern conception of "self-esteem" is ultimately dooming. Despite Branden's highfaluting rhetoric, self-esteem essentially comes down to "comparison" between self and others: If I am equal or superior on some metric, then I feel worthy; If I am inferior based on some measure, then I am not worthy. In the end, the system is flawed and self-destructing.
The problem of self-esteem began when "individualism" became paramount in the Western world. In the wake of the asserted "self", there logically arose the need to "justify" the "value" of the "individual". And voila, the psychology of "self-esteem" was born.
In contrast, there are no big self-esteem issue in tight-knit communities or traditional societies where self and community are blurred. In communities like these, one is "part" of society, not "separate" from society.
If one lived on a remote island alone, "self-esteem" would never come up. One simply "lives" day by day.
But self-esteem becomes a potential problem in societies composed of _separated_ (or alienated) individuals because whatever perceives itself as "distinct" must justify and rationalize its distinctiveness and "reason for being".
Octavus5 Nailed it
Octavus5 I agree. I have thought of that too, the desert island thing, where you'd simply be focused on surviving. Only modern man worries constantly about being happy. People think if you don't smile, you're not happy. What is the state of being constantly happy? Seems unreal, since life is such a struggle.
Gus Grizzel _"Only modern man worries constantly about being happy."_
Being happy (in the mind) and healthy (in the body) are natural objectives, but self-esteem is different from these, I believe.
Self-esteem can be compared to "nationalism". Is it necessary that citizens are jingoistic or nationalistic? Not really. These tend to be rather "primitive" sentiments that often arise when sovereignty or independence are threatened. Or there is an unhealthy _complex_ whereby comparisons are made based on some arbitrary metric.
Truly healthy nations simply go about their affairs as sovereign states without much ado. The question of "who is better" or their "reason for being" never arises. They are independent nation-states and exist as such and no justifications for their being are ever necessary.
Octavus5 If you live in a nation where it matters if you contribute or can affect keeping a quality standard of living, you could say that nationalism can matter.
It's subjective because what matters to one people may not be of concern to another, past the normal basic requirements to survive.
The obsession with being happy is just silly. If you work a job, trying to be "happy" about it will usually fail. It's the wrong mindset about it. You're an animal in the world trying to survive. If you spend your time drinking beer, watching TV, etc., there is little satisfaction in that. If you spend your time learning about the world, learning to play music, taking care of your body, and helping your family, there is more satisfaction in that, and usually "happiness". Happiness is not some fairy dust cloud that descends on people. It's usually the result of some satisfactory interaction with people or things.
Gus Grizzel _"If you live in a nation where it matters if you contribute or can affect keeping a quality standard of living, you could say that nationalism can matter."_
Nationalism falls victim to the same trap as self-esteem. It's useful on a "primal" level (just as are other emotions like anger, fear, envy, etc), but not necessary and ideally should be avoided.
_"The obsession with being happy is just silly."_
The irony may be that if you are "obsessed" with "your" happiness, it will probably be elusive to the extent your frame of reference is narcissistic. But when you begin to look beyond yourself and see yourself as part of the larger universe and find meaning/purpose in the greater scheme, the chances are that you'll be a happier individual.
A lot of my self esteem issues stem from a fear of rejection. That is, I don't handle criticism and rejection well, and this makes me reluctant to interact with people for fear of being put down. Any advice?
I have the same problem :'(
"No person or group has the power to determine how I think about myself and my feeling of self."
If you can deeply believe this you will be free from the fear of rejection.
TheSinisterPress Thanks! Excellent advice!
***** Yeah, the desensitization approach. That is recommended by many experts, and I have tried it with some success. Thanks.
***** If you look at my post, I did not specifically mention women:
"and this makes me reluctant to interact with people "
Hi Leo, (from Armenia)
\Wanted to share my own experience about fixing Low Self-Esteem. For last 2-3 weeks, since I watched this video, I've worked on my personal development a lot, not according to your guidance in this video but in general, and here is what I find. I realized my own potential and increased my belief in my self, I've amazingly became happier and change my habits. Even my friends and family members noticed it in my behavior. Fascinating thing is that when I looked again at 6 pillars of Self Esteem and realized that, omg actually I've worked on these, and now seeing that It's really the part of something more. What inspires me beside all great teachers like you is the vision for the future and the abundance that is coming. My life transformed since I start working on my self. I am thankful to you for teaching this juicy and practical material that affects and changes lives to better.
WOW, the unconscious part of this was a BIG wake up call for me.
My narcissistic parents did their work on me there !!! Lol! Hence, I'm here. It makes me want to paint a picture for my son and write the words, '' YOU ARE MAZING JUST FOR BEING YOU''. Thankyou so much for such a wonderful video.
I literally avoid mirrors and pictures because I have no self esteem, this is an amazing and very helpful video, tears literally ran down my face during this video.
we could watch all motivational videos , we can read all books but it wont change a thing if you are not willing to change your own thoughts , i have been down for the last six months , there is a time i felt like i am all alone , worthless n all that is invisible n useless, was contemplation suicide , and just when i was about to jump off the rooftop, i realized that , yea i may die, some will cry , some will not, the ones who hurt you might not care, or even if they felt guilty , its not as such as they will feel seeing u all great n blossomed. life is tough , but its also easy , it's all in our minds, everything , financially, spiritually n even physically. its your believe .n u got to be happy if u choose to.you already have all that it takes to be happy, u just have to be willing to know how to reach it.
Rehema Kerubo YOU NEED JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥️
We are willing. That's how we came across the video 🤨. We're searching for ways to reprogram how we view ourselves.
I feel like I should thank you. You've helped me to realize that the belief I've had my whole adult life, the belief that I cannot be happy without intimately sharing my life with somebody is not a normal or healthy way to live and that it's something that needs to be addressed.
Off course it needs to be addressed, and I hope you are doing better nowadays.
When you kept listing "maybe you feel like this" and I kept saying "yes" and then I got a bit teary eyed because you're speaking facts. My self esteem is crippled atm and I'm trying to fix it.
How is it going for you?
@@oklartse thanks for the comment, much appreciated. I'm hanging in there. I'm trying to work on myself, socialise with people online. Right now, my eating/sleeping habits aren't great, work is horrible. I'm just doing what I can to hang in there, at least until the new year. I hope you are doing okay
@@ruhelmiah203update?
I love how he talks about how not to be a victim, how to be in control of your life and how to deal with the problems that you face and your are the master of your own life He talks about self-respect, self-worth and you have value. I'm so inspired! Had the same feeling after reading How to Be a Badass by Sharon Law Tucker. I'm getting stronger every day!
What makes no sense to me is that I had a pretty great childhood. My family loved me and raised me right. I was (am) very introverted but back then people didn’t outright scare me. I had no traumatic experiences. And still, between the ages of 13 and 16, I somehow grew to feel like the most inferior thing on the planet. The worst things that ever happened to me were those friendly jabs that are commonplace in high school; yet they felt like assaults on my worth and existence. Perhaps I’m hypersensitive, not wired right for human interaction. But whatever it is, it took away my entire adolescence, and I’m still struggling with it today. It is a terribly inexplicable burden, being so naturally afraid of the very thing that makes us human.
Sometimes you can track down where it comes from, but sometimes you can’t. Most traumatic events are everyday events that come from the wrong person in the wrong moment and we couldn’t process that emotionally because we did not know how to. Don’t worry too much on the source, and do your everyday work, step by step, you will get clarity and feel better!
You probably had a bad childhood but not ready to realize or accept it. It takes time.
Trauma can be of many sorts. If you still see this take this into perspective. As a child your classroom and parents are your world and being disapproved of such as parents teaching kids not to be too loud in public place can be taken as your parents not loving you(your view on world as a child, and that is a trauma, which with adult pov can be silly)and not loving you means it threatens your survival and that aspect of you being loud and expressive is disowned.
My English is not excellent but tried my best.
I was abused physically, emotionally, and sexually as a child. It's because of this abuse that my self esteem is very low. I think I don't deserve anything nice. And I'm not good enough either. I'm depressed all the time. I'm working on everything. I hope to be a happy person someday. 😢
Minecraft Player I was abused emotionally and sexually and always settling for less then I deserve and having family judge my body caused for me to have a low self-esteem
from I blame myself I want to tell you will get through your struggles I know it’s hard because I still struggle you are enough and one day you will see that 😢
Guys i am so so sorry for all of you i wish these crimes never happened to you you didnt deserve that
diamond pickaxe thank you I wish we all never had a bad past that caused us to have problems such as depression low self-esteem and to feel unworthy and to feel like shit about ourselves
@@locoa648 anytime my friend we will all heal over time 👍
diamond pickaxe we will all heal defiantly it just take time I hope what ever struggle you are going through you are getting support I’m always here even though this is just RUclips
My childhood was kind of fucked up. I've always had low self esteem. Lately though it seems really low! Like I don't feel I deserve anything. I feel so anxious and depressed. I wish I could fix this shit. I'm 27 now though :/
have you tried mindfulness meditation
will it work noname ???!
Remove toxic people from your life, even if family, and make sure your home environment is as pleasant as possible. Learn to love yourself. Sounds bland, but that's what i'm trying.
It is hard to say that you are gonna be judged and hated it is all you want to know that it is not about you it is about how people see their self don't feel inferior you deserve love 😘
same here, and we both are of the same age...
This is everything I’ve been looking for, just never thought to type in the you tube search bar for help. Thank you. I’m a 1 and was never shown self esteem nor raised with praise. I’ve been a doormat and have exhausted myself giving to everyone and not looking out for me.
I think i have extremely low self esteem. I have extremely low self confindence and i struggle to speak with people because of fear of not getting heard by them. I also feel I have no importance. That anyone can leave me without thinking twice and i deserve to be miserable. I hope I can reshape my life because this life has become crippling to me.
i have vry low self esteem its so sad i always feel i don't fit well in whateva places i go... i hate being with people and i enjoy my own compny cz i alwys feel dat ol pple r there just to point out my flaws
I feel you
People will always let you down.
This guy is just one of those people!
EXACTLY
Had the same feeling of my whole life. I've never been truly happy.
I feel the same way. It's either face feelings of shame/rejection, or be alone and face feelings of depression
I've seen a lot of these kind of self-help, motivational videos. For the most part it's just people talking about their personal experiences with their struggles. That offers some insight, but none of them ever fully address the problem, or define it on a general level. This is different. You seem to really know what you're talking about; you explain the problem very thoroughly and academically, and provide great solutions to the problem. You also have a lot of content, and you seem to work hard. I'd like to say thank you and keep making videos, you're doing a great job.
Thanks! :)
Outstanding presentation.
I have never heard so hopeful a presentation that inspires me to change. Most presentations leave me discouraged and hopeless to change. Off to order Branden's book and get started on replacing my LSE with newer, positive thinking. All I ever got in therapy and so-called friends and Christians was shame and clichéd lectures.
Leo, you just got me out of depression. This is not the first time. Thank you so much for this amazing job you've been doing all those years.
Your way of expressing these concepts always attracts me, and nothing, but nothing compares with it-- the tone, the depth of spirituality, I can't put it into words. Your Manifesting Manual is something I can read over and over and soak up. I am in process of making the routine a solid part of my life, and it has made a difference! I LOVE your 12 meditations too ruclips.net/user/postUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq I know I am a different person after 9 months with Super Manifestor, and in process of continued positive change! You deserve accolades every day of the year! Keep on with everything, and as we say in Spanish, ANIMO! Lots of love and every blessing to you both.
My father wouldn't let me share my thoughts or contribute to any thing he talked about since I was 10 years. This kind of made me think I was useless and had nothing productive out of me.
I wouldn't contribute to anything in the class/ even asking a question because I had this mind 'ohhh they'd say what the f** I was talking about'.
Thank you for this video, It has given me new energy and I see boosting my low esteem.
Thanks a million.
BARAKA BLESSING same when i was a kid i wasnt always shy and introverted. But somewhere between middle school i started getting judged for the stupid things i did. So now i just shut the fuck up so people dont think there’s something mentally wrong with this guy. Its to the point where idk if im ok or i got autism or smtn
@@josephlemus8307 Listen kid be yourself! its impossible to have everyone to like you or dislike you.
No offence but your dad's a repressed knob with no emotional intelligence whatsoever. Your grandad was probably like that with him too, causing repressed rage and god only knows what other issues.
Forgive him, and yourself. Impossible, maybe. That's the goal, at least
@@donaldios Kid? Way to patronize the guy. Go drown a puppy you cruel arsehole
I appreciate your videos incredibly. For most of my life, as crazy as it sounds, I always imagined a life coach being someone whose job it is to yell at you and tell you not to look back at your past at all and put all of the blame on you. It is a relief to hear you say that investigating one's own childhood is not discouraged as something that only "victims" do. I have gone more than 30 years believing that, among the many things that I don't deserve, I do not deserve to investigate things that may not have been my fault. Thank you!
being out there releasing the same info we pay for therapy is a priceless and a noble action. hats off Leo
5:06 “because this is YOUR life, and YOU’RE at the center of it. That’s so true I needed to hear that.
I think one thing this misses is that self esteem really can fluctuate, at times in my life ive been on both sides of the "scale". Its the falling back into low self esteem im trying to prevent
All my life I've always had a phobia that I was going to fail school - infact I graduated at the top of my class -
As a child i struggled with a learning disability and I shyed out and always had to work hard
And there were people who told me I had social problems
I feel like those early school days made me have this irrational fear
Thank you !
I have a bad habit of saying sorry all the time. Is this due to low self esteem and if so, how do I stop saying sorry - even for things which are not my fault?
Yes, you're being a fake people-pleaser. Watch this:
How To Be Yourself - Become Your Authentic Self Right Now
Also, you forgot to say you're sorry at the beginning of this post for making me have to see it :D
@@RearAdmiralTootToot 😂
Ali Uzzell YOU NEED JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥️
Thank God for living in a age where we have RUclips. There is alot of crap on YT but the videos that help people who are struggling are so important!
During high school I destroyed myself, trying to achieve perfection with my body and with all my performances. Most of the times I failed to achieve perfect results, but the few times when I was able to do that nothing was changing, my self esteem was always so poor. When I reached the bottom trying to knife myself in the stomach, I started to rebuilt myslef. Now I have been continuing this journey against my negative and destructive thoughts for almost years and I fell I'm becoming the person that I wanted to be when I was a child. The journey has not an end and it is so complicated and difficult, but you are able to face all these difficulties, so start now even if you fell very weak, because betting on your self is the best thing you can do in all your life! Keep moving forward!
Leo, 2 years ago I watched almost all of your videos. And now I found this video by accident and I decided to check on how much I improved myself since then, so I watched it again. And I'm really thankful for you, because according to your video, and also my life (obviously), I successfully developed my self-esteem to the next level! And well, tbh I wouldn't be here without your videos! Thank you!
Renáta Végh I'm happy for you
good
amazing
Renáta Végh YOU NEED JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥️
Have you been baptized into Jesus name for the remission of sins and filled with the Holy Ghost?
I know that at this point in my life it's a waste of time to place blame on others
but I really blame my parents for my lack of self-esteem.
Lack of affection and support... it feels awful to live a life where you often
feel like you're no one important so please don't forget to tell your children
how awesome they are every day and shower them with love ! It must truly
make a difference.
Rini it is so true I know how it feels to not feel loved to always be judge to never feel the affection from your parents you got this you will be ok one day and you will have someone who adores you and show you affection even it’s not your family as sad as it is this life is beautiful
not even kidding this videos are so good that this helped me so much with my depression its gotten a lot better since i began watching this.
I used to have a low self esteem and its a constant fight. What was useful to me was to begin to think simple and to remember that life is short and we wont be here forever.
In my case it was all related to what others would think about me. I suffered from that for so many years till I started to learn that what really matters is my own life. I stopped being so polite and so well mannered because people that notice that on you inmediately take advantage.
Try to
prioritize your life and what you like. Its not a bad to be a little selfish, everybody is a bit selfish. You need to, because when you have low self esteem you end up being the servant of everybody else.
Nathaniels book is the first self developement book i’ve ever read. I love it and it’s effective in making you feel better
My self esteem is so low that I’m in a bad place right now. I had friends ask me for favors and guilt trip me to get me to accept their requests anyway. I couldn’t even say no without them making me feel bad.
Cherry Hamilton you deserve better friends then them one day you will get friends who treat you good know your worth with friendships I struggle with friendships myself
I feel completely stuck.
***** Nope, pretty much stuck yet.
***** I'm in a situation where I feel I have very little control over circumstances and a large possibility of losing something for what I've worked very hard.
***** The possibility of starting a career overseas, the possibility of settling down and fulfilling my personal and professional dreams, starting a family, etc; all those potentialities can go to the toilet and I can end up losing it all because it all depends on the decision of someone else whom I have absolutely no control over.
***** My current employer or potential future employer. The current one might decide to dispense of my services in the next 6 months and decide not to extend the contract and not to sponsor me. My permanence overseas depends on a sponsorship. I would have to return to my country that I left about a decade ago, where I would have to start from zero all over again. I really want to settle outside, I think I have everything I need to, I speak the language, I have the education and credentials, but it's like my credentials, experience and expertise mean nothing. It all comes down to someone who would decide to take me in. Otherwise, I'm out. Really unfair, considering a lot of people immigrate by other means and are far less educated than myself. Nothing wrong with that, except the unfairness of the system.
***** I _am_ , but the issue remains. They might not even take me in if they find out they need to sponsor me. So not only I have to compete by the merits of my credentials with other candidates but compete against the fact that someone who does _not_ need sponsorship could obviously be more attractive to the employer than me.
Wow this is amazing i caught myself crying for many reasons! Makes me realize how low my self esteem has been for so long! Thank u for an awesome video - susana
working on your self-esteem is one of the most important things you can do. thanks love the content.
I am so glad that Leo exists
the clarity of your message... I feel in bliss when I'm listening to this. Thank uuuuu
This is the first time where I've been fully aware that I've literally highlighted certain dates in my head, because on those specific dates, something traumatic had happened to me that played an incredibly crucial role in the way how I developed growing up. I've paid more attention to those negative days than the more positive ones, such as my birthday, the day I graduated from high school, when I started my first job, when my parents bought me a car, etc.. These videos are having me do some serious re-evaluation with my life. I didn't even expect to tear up from this video at all.
Stay strong my friend. Awareness is a huge step forward.
Since last week it's 1 and 1 on both. It's feels like something is tearing me deep down on a regular basis
I have low esteem since I don’t like myself right now. I’m trying hard to be someone I want to be but when I fail it feels hurtful. It mainly has to do with regret. However, I’m just impatient. I’m just glad I’m alive right now. I’m probably 1 for each.
I watched this video twice and after second take I had a journey into my childhood and realized where my low self esteem comes from and it was an amazing feeling that brought joy to my heart...thanks Leo your videos are really helping build my life. Awesome dude
I had good self esteem until my partner of 22 years betrayed me. I sunk. So deep. Not only do I have the lowest self esteem but I physically shake too.
I was riding on a confidence high all this time. But really I wasn’t good enough For him.
I want help. I want to go back to the person I was.
Pray and give it to God, it's not that you weren't good enough for him; look at the situation from a positive prospective maybe you were to good for him. Y'all were not in alignment let him Go, and what's for you will come use this time alone to process, and release your pain focus working on you, and i guarantee you everything you ever wanted will come in due time... "Life experiences" causes us to grow becoming a better version of ourselves embrace who you have become sometimes Change is good as time passes you'll look back, and recognize why you had those experiences.... "Growth" Good Luck!
LADY. S
Thank you kind words and guidance is so appreciated 🙏❤️
Sending you love. Perhaps -he- wasn't good enough for you and this is the universe's way of letting you know that the change was necessary. Stay strong. This is an opportunity to re-discover who you are.
Totally get it. Motivation isn't quite as what most people make it to be and people aren't either too. This free cheatsheet really helped me out it might help you out too craigehardel.com/.
The opinion that you "weren't good enough for him" is just that - an opinion that you've formed. It's not a fact. Whenever you catch yourself looking for ways to confirm that opinion, learn to recognise that and call it out. That's how you interrupt that unhelpful pattern of thought.
Eg. You see a FB pic of him and some new girl, right? That triggers feelings of shame, rejection, inadequacy etc. In those moments, learn to recognise this is your mind trying to shield you from further emotional trauma by taking you out of the race completely. Someone else's actions have nothing to do with your self worth or your sexual marketplace value (horrible term, I know lol) 🙄
Thanks for sharing
How can one accept one's self while at the same time try to fix himself, I have always found that concept contradicting,if you love the way you are that wouldn't push you to improve yourself ; if I loved my forgetfulness I wouldn't seek memory improvement techniques, I hear that a lot: "love yourself " and what you mentioned in one of your videos where you asked the audience to watch an ordinary book, appreciate it at the moment "no analyzing" it's fairly impossible for me to love without analyzing, it's very similar to forgive unconditionally to be at peace.
Thanks in advance
In the same way that you might love your child and ALSO expect him to grow!
Actualized.org but acting like a parent _internally that is_for every human being you run into through life is a demanding approach, I believe each one of us has a deep inside spring of giving /love that we are born with, but what if this spring is jammed for some reason, this approach of forgiving others hoping they will evolve/grow will put you in a state of a psychological drought that messes up your peace.
aura - I'm not talking about being a parent for others. I'm talking about being a parent for YOURSELF! Self-esteem is 100% an internal personal issue. Don't worry about other people.
Actualized.org thanks for the feedback.. your videos are powerful and intriguing. . I will do more reading :)
aura - In the book Nathaniel says to change what is possible to change and accept what is not possible to change. So for example if you are not confident about your physical attractivity - you would then learn to accept your face or genetic conditions (you can't change your face), but get involved with some physical training and better diet to get in shape (you can significantly change the composition and shape of your body).
Thanks Leo, what a powerful talk on self esteem.. I have started practicing mindfulness, positivity, and looking at the world as a safe and happy place. I suffered from depression for many, many years but now have recovered greatly and I feel alive. It was a long and difficult road to recovery but hey, I am brave and resilient to have came this far. I made a commitment to myself not to look back. I'm just looking around for more self-help articles/videos to boost my now positive outlook in life and that's how I came to watch you here.
I’m 30 years old I’ve always struggled with this. I’ve finally decided to do something about it. This is the first step in the right direction. I didn’t have a great childhood I’ve been in abusive relationships. I struggle with confidence with even speaking directly to people. I’ve become a great faker but behind close doors I pick myself apart all the time, and find myself always crying. I am happy my boyfriend sent me this video. Never too late to change
Hi there--I was in a similar boat years ago! I have been on a self improvement quest for 10 years. I am a life coach... new to RUclips. If there is anything I can do to help--let me know! No one should struggle with this...but it will make you stronger...and your relationship with your boyfriend even better!
I just started watching this channel, but i gotta say i read nathaniel brandons 6 pillars of self esteem about a year ago now. It was an absolute life changer. 10/10 reccomend.
In my opinion mindful-self compassion is a very important component in building and increasing genuine self esteem. People with low self esteem are very critical of themselves (rumination >>negative self talk>>behaviour >>low self esteem). Catching the thought and mindfully expressing self compassion towards the self can rewire the brain from the usual way of thinking. And that’s where real change can take place. Because then you can ask yourself: “how would someone that love himself/herself would treat themselves?”
That’s what parenting or relate thing the inner child is. Mindful self compassion. Hopefully this makes sense. English is my third language but I think I was able to express myself well!
well, i have been bullied in middle school. I dont know how it started but once it began, i started to hate everyone. Even when people tried to get me into the class tribe feel, i insulted them and told them to leave me the fuck alone. So they started hating me again. After that it was all over and when i came into highschool i started to feel weird whenever i started to talk to someone, when it was not related to school. I felt like i bother them and get on their nerves, even though it was ok. It is still like this today.
I feel like everything i stand for, the passions i have and even the things i like are bad. I hide my hobbies and passions from everyone and when i dont i feel misserable.
My dad passed away 2 years ago and ever since I've been so sad and dont do anything no more... But I'm gonna try to work on it and make it better
Like the no-nonsense style Leo uses to talk about bettering ourselves. Thanks, Leo!
The average popular videos on yt are 3" long but Leo managed to get 1M+ views on 30minute videos, respect.
I've knocked down so many times by my own family and.spouse its hard to believe in myself like I once did.
I stand up for myself from .time to time.Its tough out in life and sometimes I have codependency.
I've lived a perfect life so far, im so grateful yet I've become anxious and terrible self esteem, which just makes me feel like a failure, because I've had so much given to me ...
I was already crying and feeling really sad
And after reading so many comments, I feel worst 😭😭
Talk to people , be friendly , be calm and appear confident - what more ? Do we really need dozens of these videos !
Easier said than done. The value in these videos is the introspection; figuring out WHY we feel certain ways. A quick list of "tips to raise self esteem!" won't do anything for people who are actually struggling with these issues.
I like to think of myself as confident but it's always nice to have a refresher because there could be something that you're saying that would make things even better
I grew up being called names..because of my dental issue at the time.So I could never laugh or talk freely because i felt like people were always staring & making fun of me. more often that not i always had to explain what had happened to my tooth. hated that.It made me really sensitive as a kid coz I didn't really know how to deal with such..defend & protect myself mentally from my own self( self critism)..most of the time I took negative remarks to heart plus I was very very shy & a nerve wreck.Always feeling guilty too. As a result I started to feel worthless, empty and developed a paranoia..of people always teasing me or saying negative things behind my back.Day by day I became quiet....avoiding social situations.. specifically with people I don't know & just not trusting in my ability to make decisions on my own.i just wanted to be cool.... comfortable within my own skin and be respected.Too bad school doesn't teach us such.Which is a Shame really. Though I had friends ...I felt misunderstood you know.Sometimes I wished I could trade shoes with certain kids I admired coz I saw qualities in them that I thought where out of reach for me.Thus I've learnt to better myself..I still find that I still slip back into my childhood struggles.
I have odd ears, in that one ear is has an (concha I believe it is called), which is different to the other one i.e. the concha is pushed out in one ear and 'in' in the other ear. When I got to adolescence I thought, "...f..k I, will never get a girlfriend...". The reality was that nobody noticed or cared when they did notice. My first girlfriend jumped back in shock when she finally noticed, she laughed a bit and that was it! All out in the open, and of course nothing changed. Anyone who is bothered by such things are not worth bothering with. I am proud of my odd ears now! 'cos nobody has ears like mine.
i can relate
Mpho kganyago lol
Mpho kganyago
you ain't alone comrade. Bullies always get their asses baterred to fuck eventually.
People will pick on others because they dont feel good about themselves..... it takes focus off their flaws and makes them feel superior over someone else.
In general...... people can be cruel.
I'm sorry that they made you to feel insecure.
HOWEVER..... I think we ALL have got teased or laughed at over some lil something in our lifetime.
Like I said..... people can be heartless!
I want you to remember FREDDIE MURCURY(lead singer of the rock band QUEEN).... He is a LEGEND, HE too had been teased about his dental issues. Look how he turned out. ;)
I rate myself a 0.2 out of 10 self esteem
Your skin isn't paper, don't cut it
Your face isn't a mask, don't hide it
Your body isn't a book, don't judge it
Your life isn't a movie, don't end it
To anyone going through anything, stay strong, you can and will get through it
The only thing is look how much years you have left, how many things you can do in the time you have left dont let other people make you think you cant do something imagine all the people that have lost their kids life to these things you are just the best but its your choice if you want to tell yourself that everyone you see can be going through the same always compliment people it can help alot
Because of my way of thinking, I'm pushing away one of my true and closest friends. Just being around her made me so ugly and unwanted.
Reading a lot of books and having a goal in my life for once helped me a lot.
@Dxlilah It doesn't really matter what kind of books I read. They may not apply to your needs since everyone is different. Start with the little things, positive self-talk, making your bed, cleaning your room, personal hygiene. Also running or cycling or any sport is very important. Speaking my mind and telling the truth is the best thing I ever did. But about books, if you insist. I read about communication, psychology, how to ask good questions. And now I'm reading about the human body and sports. But reading is one thing APPLYING the knowledge is something else.
Good Luck!
@Dxlilah Go for it! Don't wait. And develop discipline. 👌📚
I never post comments but I decided yesterday to start building on self-love and self-esteem. Thanks for the videos, they have been tremendously helpful in this goal I've set for myself.
Thank you for this. I know I have crappy self esteem, (3/10 3/10 on the numeral scales used in video for the self assessment,) and this video helped by both reinforcing where I feel it’s coming from, and offering more insight and perspective. The 6 pillars of self esteem really hit home with how terrible I am at accepting myself, how much more assertive I need to be, how little purpose I feel I have, and how badly I live up to my own expectations. Some of these things I didn’t realize was having such an impact on my self esteem. I’m definitely going to look into more of these videos. I know where most of it comes from, I just don’t know how to take action. I might look into counseling/life coaching on the side, but I want to tackle as much as I can on my own first. I need to feel more in control of my life. I want to feel happy and empowered again
You explained so well. Really needed to hear this today as feeling so broken. I was listening to Nathaniels audio book but it was a bit too wordy for me as wasn't really getting what he was saying. You've explained more clearly in a language I can understand. I will watch more of your videos now. Thank you ❤️
Its a cult, be carefull.
this guy is ok, but continually talks in circles, neutral platitudes, very non -specific. I hope he takes this to heart, listens and improves his technique. I definitely want to watch more. Thank you for listening.
MARK FERGUSON he does. but I think the repetitions have enforcing value, and not obsolete one. Often you watch to a RUclips video and a week later you forget you ever watched it, or what it said, unless it was repetitive, at least in my case.
I will re-watch and take into consideration your advice. thank you for being honest.
I feel poised after watching this clip. I grew up seeing myself suffering through low self-worth without having idea of the cause. Among all I have experienced, I like taken responsibility and achieving my goal(very very high self efficacy) but can be somewhat discouraged by challenges. Thank you. I am working through this issue and will be fixed
im on my path and it hit me really hard when i realized the main thing i need to work on is my self esteem. everything you said on this video is right and im glad that now i know its an actual thing and not just me sucking as a person.
My self esteem is so low that I can’t have a group conversation. I stay quiet and make things awkward. It makes me feel even worse about myself.
I see you. I've felt like this all my life. I was always afraid of participating in group discussions cause I thought my opinions and thoughts weren't good enough. I always doubted myself and felt ashamed of a lot of things in my life. But now that I'm self-aware I'm trying to undo everything and rebuild my self-esteem. I wish you all the best with your journey and I hope you find happiness
@@preydy1259 How did you become self-aware and started building self-esteem? Because I exactly have the same problems.
@@kalyanbhadra7919 Didn't the video explain that to you? If not, this video is useless lol
I'm kind of surprised by something, I ranked myself at a 7 on self-efficacy, which is good, but my self image I ranked as a 2, yet I'm still going out an doing things people with low self esteem may not do. I've become a front end supervisor in a store, and started my own gaming channel on RUclips. It seems like I've learned to ignore the part of my mind that says I shouldn't because it won't work. I'm ambitious, but the pillar I am lowest on by far is self-acceptance. I had a rough early life always being in the hospital (14 operations by up until I was 12) and a lot of bullying to boot. I don't bother with dating because I assume I'm unattractive. I've had to get better at my assertiveness since becoming a supervisor, which is the kind of change I was looking for when I took that job, and I think I could do better at taking responsibility for myself. Anyway, I just thought it was interesting that even though my self-image is so low, it doesn't seem to stop me from doing neat things. I suppose that should raise my self-image a bit, and it may be the negative self-image that could be powering those decisions subconsciously, as kind of a "showed you" to people who picked on me everyday for many years. But I do still constantly feel like I'm just not good enough at anything I do, and I think this belief may be a mistake, or rather that the belief that this is a good belief because it keeps me improving, may be a mistake. But I don't want to get lazy and worthless either. Anyway, I love this kind of stuff, I don't know how much I know about it, but I've been doing the introspection thing since middle school.
This was so wonderful I am so encouraged.....Leo is always so great....love this guy.
The definition of low self esteem at the start defined me perfectly
Great video. I admire those who have a good childhood...I know that I have to take up the responsibility and fix my life and all that, but it's just soo exhausting to sit there analyzing my childhood again and again and again...
There's no such thing as self esteem. What you're really talking about is self confidence and confidence is gained through truth and honesty and selflessness.
Bourne Accident I think the same thing. When we achieve or accomplish something WE think is good, that matters to US, we feel good. No one can take that from us, because we did something we set out to do.
Bourne Accident Confidence is gained through mastering problems. I don't see where honesty and selfnessless comes into play here? - Apart from being solutions to problems ofcourse ;)
Manato Sola Yes I totally agree that confidence is gained through mastery of problems, and I think the ablility to master problems is greatly enhanced through selfless and honest behavior.
Bourne Accident A rose by any other name, dude.
Zona Rosa Yeah sure, a rose is a petunia and a petunia is a sunflower etc... by your definition.
I can tell you've studied a lot on this and its great to pass along what you've learnt to others ;) We r forever learning n processing .. I think wisdom is the secret of happiness .. you cant fix something if you don't know how it works ! keep up the great work !
Thanks Ash :)
Ashly Campbell :)
If you just always accept who you are you are never ever gonna grow and never ever NEVER gonna get better
You have to first accept your problems before you fix them
you can’t fix something before you accept there is a problem in the first place; you can’t fix something you don’t accept that is broken
Good job Leo. I grew thinking I wasn't good enough my whole entire life. I thought I would never make it to be anything. I thought I was beneath dirt and no one would ever love me. But I realized that my life is the complete opposite of that people have love and care for me. I am a person who is worth so much more then the words and their self representation. I feel like that I could take the world and that I cN be something better then my old self. My self esteem is definetly not the highest but it will be sooner or later Thays for sure. I believe I was placed on this world for my deep thinking and ability to be self aware of things that others aren't. I know I am gifted in every shape and form and I will go far beyond this point to bigger and better places. I will not let people walk all over me because I am worth so much more then that..
Getting away from toxic friends and narcissistic ex catapulted my self esteem over the last few month.
Now I am working on moving out and getting away from my parent to further improve. :) fingers crossed I get that room I applied for.
"I'm good enough, I'm thmart enough, and doggone it, people like me!"
My mom destroyed my self-esteem
Mary Empire YOU NEED JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥️
O_o you NEED to stop forcing your religion down people’s throat.
Same... my mom has low self esteem and she projected that into me... It took a lot of work to fix myself
@@davedowden lmao
Stef same thing happened to me. I took a lot of years building up myself. First step is letting go blame and forgive them people so you can move on
I started bawling during this so I know I need a therapist but I can't afford help.
At times people are extremely mean. We are so
valuable each one of us no matter what we have. When we are hurt, we must take
a rest then get back up and become stronger and become a better human being.
Wish you all great success!!
I never knew that I had high self esteem until I watched this video, because I always go after what I believe in. Thank you so much for your inspirational speech.
Leo-
First of all, thanks for your videos. Second, I really hope you can help me....I am a very sensitive person and always have been. I go to therapy to help with stress management and self esteem but I still find myself getting overwhelmed at times and crying. It is how I express myself I guess- though I wish I didn't. The crying is a physical reaction I cannot seem to control...I am an easy crier and even small things set me off. The problem is, I cry too often and can't make it stop. I cry frequently at work and I'm known as the office crier. No one is mean to me about it but they have made comments so I know this is true. As you can imagine, this isn't really a good impression in the workplace. I feel like people maybe think I'm weak or worry I can't handle difficult tasks on my own. Worse, I worry they might think I do it to manipulate or be dramatic/get attention. I don't want to be the crier anymore. How can I stop crying at work or in social situations so that I can avoid embarrassment and getting a bad reputation? PLEASE HELP...this is ruining my career and destroying my self esteem even worse because I am always feeling inferior or ashamed. Thank you for anything you can tell me or any advice you have. -K
Crying is how you control others. It's a form of egotism. The reason you cry is because you're like a baby... any thing that doesn't go your way you want to control and somehow you've learned to use crying as your tool to make others and yourself feel sorry for you and give you what you want. Or you fail and you cry too. It's an ego game. You have to start being much more honest about how selfish and petty this behavior is.
Start practicing meditation and mindfulness. Also start studying about ego.
Actualized.org What if you cry on your own? It gets out stress chemicals and I can often think more clearly after even if it's at a sad film, but yes it does sound like this girl is a little over the top as it seems to be in public.
Ruth Barr Crying during a movie is a totally different thing.
Actualized.org I already study meditation and practice mindfulness. I get that the crying is related to the ego but it isn't manipulative or intentional. In fact, it never gets me anything I want ( and never has, even as a child I was ignored or yelled at if I cried)...it has the exact opposite effect. It pushes others away or gets me further from my goal. I'm not sure I understand why you say that and I think that's actually pretty hurtful of you to say- I don't try to control others...only myself. The crying is related to failing or feeling bad about myself. I am very hard on myself and get upset often when I make mistakes...I start to judge myself. However- I'm not sure how to stop judging myself and avoid the emotional reaction that happens. The crying doesn't serve me in any way...it actually makes me judge myself harsher afterwards because I feel embarrassed or weak. I thought you would be able to give some helpful insight but it seems like you are misinterpreting me and assuming a lot...
Ruth Barr I never feel better after I cry in public...it's embarrassing And yes, it is over the top. It's ruining certain aspects of my life, in my opinion. I'm becoming very frustrated with myself
When he said "you're a door mat" I felt attacked.
Me too, it sucks because its true
I think I'm s 7-8 in self efficacy but a 2-3 in self worth. How do I learn how to respect myself more. I think I like myself, but always try to convince myself I'm worthless and don't deserve happiness.
Man i really appreciate what yu're doing. it's really valuable, Helpful, important, supportive, true & noble. good job for real !!
I forgot which videos I watched but you've helped me a lot and I've gone from really low self-esteem to pretty much confident most of the time. Thank you so much!