When you respect, honor & value yourself, you can respect, honor & value others. Confident people who esteem themselves don't feel threatened by other people's gifts. Happy people don't need to hurt others.
@@karenlewkowitz5858 it's the tell that what she is saying is not the reality of her own situation. No reason to bring that into a business conversation and pretend your not about manipulation. It's all about power no matter what for people. She even knows the score and is lying about it. To herself.
I was in tears towards the end. The bullying started in the fourth grade and lasted through the ninth, by the age of 10 I was suicidal. I was petrified of school. I’m gonna be 50 next month, and still live with depression, anxiety and PTSD from it. And it led to a number of abusive relationships, I didn’t believe I deserved better. Mean girls have the power to destroy lives. I’m doing better today, thanks to a bunch of talk and trauma therapy with an amazing therapist and a wonderful priest, my spirit needed healing too. It made me a much more compassionate and caring person, I knew that I never wanted to make another person feel like I felt.
I've had to deal with mean girls throughout grade school, middle school, high school & then at every single job. They're everywhere ! Even family members. They're the worst. My Mom is the worst. It's terrible to deal with. It's really hard.
My mom was the mean girl. Gave her a 15 year time out. Took away all her power and she was able to fix that terrible part of her. Do not underestimate shunning.
I know what u mean salonika101 my own mother stole 2 dresses from my closet when visiting me i was at her new apt she showed me around she opened closet to show me all her closet space and i saw MY dresses! I said hey those are mine she quickly shut closet and said NO they arent and would not let me see them.i brought it up mths later she said u have gained weight they dont even fit u now.
For some insecure people, the only way they can feel better about themselves is to tear others down. I used to think all I needed to do was build other up and be kind but that seemed to just make them think I was an easy target for their cruelty. Ultimately, I need to feel good about myself so I'll continue to build others up and be kind but as for expecting friendship in return ... I'll be at the barn with my horses.
true, i've meet this kind of person, a colleague actually. the way she put down other people by talking negatively behind their back, make me wonder why she's like that. turns out, she has mother issue, her mother loves her sister more than her, and her mother shown that every second (by actions and comparing). that's why this colleague of mine being so mean to other women. at first, i planned to help her (with her mummy issue) so i befriended her, but turns out behind my back, she did the same thing, talk negatively about me to other people. that action hurts and makes me feels like she don't deserve my help. so i left her, and befriended someone nicer. i know it's wrong to do that, but im just not that strong to stay with a toxic person.
my high school friends kicked a girl out of friend group and even though i wasn’t involved in the actual kicking her out, i didn’t speak up and it’s my biggest regret. i realize now they did it to me as well but took a more subtle approach and since then i’ve had a hard time connecting to people bc i feel like everyone will treat me how they did.
@@esthersatori3699 I'll have to add myself to this group. Luckily, I ended up doing well in high school after having gotten into a top-rated university so I could graduate with my head held high.
You know, it's a fight from cradle to grave, it never ends, I beat them down by bettering my self new hair style, clothes, makeup and just made positive changes in my life it started in the Sumner of 74, I was 14 that fall I got the respect I wanted, but like everything in life nothing last, but I guess the moral of my story is be your best look your best, they can fight you but they can't turn yourself against yourself! Be your own best friend, don't let them beat you down! Stay confident and strong!😉
Some women hate their sons, boyfriend, husbands...or men in general. If I get the vibe a woman has some sort of resentment towards men, I make sure to stay far away from her
Can anyone imagine that all these women who were mean girls are now grand mothers and mothers now! What have they taught their own daughters and sons to behave towards others?🤔 Good for you Ellen Soak for overcoming that mean girl life style 👍🏻👍🏻
Ohhhh Ellen!!! You nailed it!! YES, we must do better! This TEDx Talk is a must for anyone who knows deep down that they have been the "mean girl", been bullied by a "mean girl", or looked the other ways when "mean girls" show up. In other words, this is a talk for all girls and women! Thank you being bold and telling your story!!! Women deserve better... we can do better...
Don't kid yourself: mean women can be very powerful and dangerous. It's a super weak use of power, though, if that makes sense, because it's just so hugely messy and indiscriminately destructive.
Being a man Im on the outside of this , but I see this going on. The lady Im with doesnt let the “ mean girl” get to her and she is surprisingly calm and handles these situations well. Most women I know are smart and capable and struggle with this daily. All I can say from the outside is the fact that as men we notice this going on and I avoid the “ mean girl” like the plague.
I like her rehearsed, fake cry at the part about her not letting the girl in the sorority....lol. But still there’s a lot of truth to what’s being said
This woman seems like she's still a fake mean girl. The give away? That fake cry at 4:05 - the one that instantly disappears as fast as it arrived. She's not a reformed mean girl, she's capitalizing on her vibe to get attention. Yuck.
shes keeping it together. shes speaking in front of cameras and a crowd, shes trained herself to be able to cancel out her emotions. dont discredit her
i notice you dont talk about what the other girl went through just how you felt typical i recently talked to a women who bullied me in high school 45 years ago she is still the same she is exacly the same as she was in high school except 100 pounds heavier mean girls dont change they just learn to hide what they are better
Exactly! It’s all just glory for self and it’s not unconscious. How can someone unconsciously all over to a target and berate them in a public setting? Did they unconsciously maneuver their legs lol! It’s all smoke screen. I’ve even noticed this trend in the Christian testimonials too. If you look up those testimonies, most of the ones we see are people like this lady. We never hear from the people the terrorized and traumatized. I’d like to hear about their testimonies. We’ve heard enough of the stories from people who are predators like this lady. Likewise, I’d like to see a Ted talk with her victims.
She can't talk about what the other woman went through because she is not her and it is not her place to do that. That woman is the only one who can share her own experience
i agree.... she almost sounded prod to have been the HEAD mean girl... i do not beive she has changed... narcissist... that fake cry.. made my blod boil..
Actually, this is what these women do to men as well in my experience. Reputation destruction is a pretty important tool in the toolkit. Men are poorly equipped to deal with this except for practiced pickup artists sadly :(
I have found the same. Mean Girls just don't attack other women anymore now it's men as well if they think they will get in the way somehow and yes and their preferred method is reputation destruction and smear campaigns to destroy someone else.
As a woman now, I have had to deal with mean girls and women all my life. I feel I cannot trust them. I have CPTSD. I don't have any female friends. Only today just in social media I have seen women calling other women Karens and thinking nothing of it. No one stands up to it. The constant belittling by women to women. This conversation needs to be discussed. I have had female teachers telling us we cannot achieve things we want. I don't think I have ever experienced any form of sisterhood. I think it is a myth. This is a good video but I think it will take years for women to be nice to each other
But the people being called Karens are bullies....they are the ones that scream at waitstaff and ethnic minorities. Calling bullies out isn't belittling. Its accountability
I don't know the ages of the commenters here > you wrote that you thought sisterhood was a myth > So you know, I am 62, and in my youth, I never saw them be mean to others. I had lots of friends in high school (the 1970s) and in college, and "sisterhood" was a standard thing. We were supportive friends, no one was mean: people were able to confide in each other, cry with each other, share their experiences and feel accepted and loved in the midst of it. They didn't demean each other, they didn't show unkindness, they didn't bully, and I had numerous dorm roommates that were strangers when we moved in together. I had a group of friends that were never unkind to anyone. I observed the friends of my parents and their peers in the community, and they didn't behave meanly with each other at all. I had many sisterly supports through my life, but as the 1990s developed, I noticed a large shift in people's behavior, such that they would actually try to run over people, not just verbally, hatefully, but physically too, even with their cars. I'm telling you, it didn't used to be like that.
Wow, Helen, you moved me. You are a very talented motivational speaker. Palms up, leaning in, long gazes, beautiful voice fluctuation, an obvious emotional attached to the subject... That was a Super Star presentation. You were very Blessed when you met Lehia, Mia, and Jess...My rescue came from Patty, Mindy, and Steph...Same case scenario, different Earth Angels...All Gifts from the Creator...our Father who Loves us ALL, PERFECTLY.
I feel like you were probably friends with the ‘popular kids’ or people who aspired to be in that group/ have that status. Those types tend to be the most viscous, and the girls are veryyy competitive with each other. It’s good that you’ve learned from your mistakes!!
@Birb Enthusiast I've learned that satan cuts off the heart, if people think from the heart...they will discern right from wrong. This is why a psychopath and a narcissist can be cruel with no empathy to whoever they are hurting.
I don’t really take her seriously and the fake crying was a giveaway. This is nothing more than an attention grab for self glorification. Interestingly, I purposely used to turn down women like her as I figured it was a way of humbling them. I remember this one time where a woman like this tried to talk to me and I told her that I’m not what she was looking for. She asked what I meant and I said that I’m not a dope dealer nor a person that hurts others. She looked taken aback by that. After that I walked on. I wouldn’t do that now but at the time I figured I was doing a service in balancing things out for the underdogs of the world. I’ve always hated bullying and predatory type of people and saw myself as a Robin Hood type of person to stand up for those who couldn’t do it for themselves. I will say, in that, I soon realized if I wasn’t careful I’d become just like them in that I get a kick out of hurting others even if it is as a situation if beating up the bully. I’m still all for fighting for what’s right but must do it the right way.
I wound up being the one everyone at every level seemed to come to talk to if they had conflicts. On nine occasions now, I've sat in human resources meetings with two women, each of whom I like and each of whom hates the other for reasons I can't understand.
I remember one day in middle school, sitting at lunch and just looking around me. The table I was sitting at was round/circular where I think 8 people could sit. I looked around and saw how my friends were of different races, different personalities, and different interests. But it wasn’t just one table, the table next to me were also my friends. And some of these friends I wasn’t very close to because they were my friends’ friends. But heck did I feel at home. I’m very introverted and shy, but I felt so comfortable and only realized it at that moment. I was so comfortable talking and laughing with my mouth open around them without any care in the world. We were all so different but oh so similar. I hate waking up but I loved school my middle school days, even if it meant waking up at 5:30. Now it’s senior year, and I haven’t attended high school in person since freshman year because I’m doing online college classes. And I miss these friends…or acquaintances. The nicest girls I have ever met. ❤😢
As an 18 year old, only wanting to love and be loved I have been mistreated by women so much. No matter how kind and loving or complementing I was, women were still unkind. it breaks my heart. Women need to stop gossiping and start championing one another.
i'm amazed that for once the speaker didn't blame straight men for this issue. nowadays any time any female for any reason is having a bad time of it one way or another there's a straight male to blame for it.
when one group i.e. women only grouprises together as a "group" other are left behind thus discrimination. The human race should rise together, and everyone should learn to be respectful and be nice to everyone. Let the chips fall where they may.
My 12 year old daughter has been bullied for years. This year (7th grade) there’s been a big difference…she’s become the mean girl. I am devastated. Thank you so much for this Ted Talk. 🩷
A Western attractive white blond woman, is the most privileged biological being that EVER has walked the crust of earth. Her words, now, are all about the sisterhood. I’d say to her swing it the other way, instead of trying to see the women as a singular entity where they have to be to each other all the things you mentioned in your video, try to see them in the context of a community, where men are part of the picture too, and not only men, let’s say other elements as well, like children, family relationships and responsibilities, so on and so on. Then perhaps women can start feeling empowered and be a positive force of nature where they are PART OF something bigger than themselves. In this point of time, feminism (which is the ruling ideology in the Western world at the moment) tells them they only need to be themselves and it’s all only about themselves and what they want and hate everything that you perceive t be against your own interest (read ‘Patriarchy’, and competing against anything that stands in your way, like other women).... That is a war, not only amongst women themselves, but equally so, is essentially undermining the society as well.
I’m trying to find a new tribe because Trying to get women in my life family and friends have been horrible lifetime experiences. I have started to stop letting others have negative impacts.
Nope do not agree, I have experienced a vast array of bullying, yes I related to the ambush that too happened to me I was also read a long list of all my supposed faults from my home to my clothes to my laugh from a group of girls. This continued in college yes I absolutely relate, total exclusion because I was doing well, I am a hard worker. Yes happened again in a job a salon where I lost all my hair while they laughed, then recently as a mum, hardcore relational aggression and social exclusion for no real reason. Did I ever succumb to becoming a 'mean girl' No I did not, this is the most disingenuous narcissistic rubbish I have ever heard. Hard to stomach this preaching, sounds like Smoak has found another clique who all virtue signal and pat each other on the back for being somehow now so woke so virtuous. Actually found this nauseating cannot believe I watched this perpetrator masquerading as a victim. Pure vomit my god the rehearsed voice croak too much. And Smoak stop barking your orders to all the women in the world as if we are all fundamentally 'mean', even towards the end still making assumptions and still judging. Gah!
It seems to me that if there were more women around in the workspace, then adding one more wouldn't be perceived as a threat, but another collaborator and supporter. The best people on my teams have *always* been women, so I have a pro-woman bias that I have to be aware of.
My friend came to me for protection and help from her boss's incessant bullying. Female boss. Women weren't safe there emotionally-- and it wasn't just her. So much female agression and manipulation. "___ you're so lucky you're a guy"
WOMEN HATE WOMEN - A SURVIVAL MECHANISM Smile, encourage, celebrate 🎉 , speak gently and kindly, say words like: 1) I see you 2) I believe in you 3) I am so glad that you are here
Totally agree. She magically forgot all the criticism her friends sat her down to talk about in high school? Something tells me SHE was the bully back then and they set up an intervention to get her to stop. Then she victimized herself as if she was a target of bullying. I don’t buy her fake story for a minute.
I keep women at a distance because I'm afraid if I'm kind to a woman that I'm giving permission to my boyfriend to flirt and fall in love with her, compare me to her and leave me for her
Isn’t that the whole point of sororities? You choose the coolest, prettiest, and most (insert-adjective) to be in it, to the exclusion of others? That’s why I never liked the Greek system. It’s sanctioned exclusion.
I am embarrassed for this lady. She is doing a speech on the importance of treating people with kindness and humanity. Which is life skills 101. Children understand the importance of kindness. It is fundamental. How did she miss the lesson? What kind of environment was she raised in to to feel justified to treat people with such psychological contempt?
Alot of cognitive dissonance here. Trying to show how good women are through social/job status (hierachy race) and then advocating for collectively not engaging in the biologically status race, which gave birth to the very social/job race to begin with.. What you need is to rethink capitalism.!
When you respect, honor & value yourself, you can respect, honor & value others. Confident people who esteem themselves don't feel threatened by other people's gifts. Happy people don't need to hurt others.
10e7 upvotes
Truth
Mysticat - you said it nicer than I did. So many baby- women so sad and frustrating
This girl woman is Working it. The heels and tight jeans tell another story. She has done the marketing homework
@@karenlewkowitz5858 it's the tell that what she is saying is not the reality of her own situation. No reason to bring that into a business conversation and pretend your not about manipulation. It's all about power no matter what for people. She even knows the score and is lying about it. To herself.
I was in tears towards the end. The bullying started in the fourth grade and lasted through the ninth, by the age of 10 I was suicidal. I was petrified of school. I’m gonna be 50 next month, and still live with depression, anxiety and PTSD from it. And it led to a number of abusive relationships, I didn’t believe I deserved better. Mean girls have the power to destroy lives. I’m doing better today, thanks to a bunch of talk and trauma therapy with an amazing therapist and a wonderful priest, my spirit needed healing too. It made me a much more compassionate and caring person, I knew that I never wanted to make another person feel like I felt.
same here
I've had to deal with mean girls throughout grade school, middle school, high school & then at every single job. They're everywhere ! Even family members. They're the worst. My Mom is the worst. It's terrible to deal with. It's really hard.
My mom was the mean girl. Gave her a 15 year time out. Took away all her power and she was able to fix that terrible part of her. Do not underestimate shunning.
@@mclarissa371 ooooo ! I never thought of shunning being used in a way to get Positive results.
I know what u mean salonika101 my own mother stole 2 dresses from my closet when visiting me i was at her new apt she showed me around she opened closet to show me all her closet space and i saw MY dresses! I said hey those are mine she quickly shut closet and said NO they arent and would not let me see them.i brought it up mths later she said u have gained weight they dont even fit u now.
@@alisonbarratt3772 Oh No ! That's terrible ! Your own mother?! Wow !
@@salonika101 oh yes and so much more that i wont say publically she should be in jail actually
For some insecure people, the only way they can feel better about themselves is to tear others down. I used to think all I needed to do was build other up and be kind but that seemed to just make them think I was an easy target for their cruelty. Ultimately, I need to feel good about myself so I'll continue to build others up and be kind but as for expecting friendship in return ... I'll be at the barn with my horses.
true, i've meet this kind of person, a colleague actually. the way she put down other people by talking negatively behind their back, make me wonder why she's like that. turns out, she has mother issue, her mother loves her sister more than her, and her mother shown that every second (by actions and comparing). that's why this colleague of mine being so mean to other women. at first, i planned to help her (with her mummy issue) so i befriended her, but turns out behind my back, she did the same thing, talk negatively about me to other people. that action hurts and makes me feels like she don't deserve my help. so i left her, and befriended someone nicer. i know it's wrong to do that, but im just not that strong to stay with a toxic person.
I agree sadly
True. Enabling them only makes it worse. There are good people out there, though!
Men behave this way also. It comes from a place of feeling powerless and threatened, and believing there is not enough to go around.
my high school friends kicked a girl out of friend group and even though i wasn’t involved in the actual kicking her out, i didn’t speak up and it’s my biggest regret. i realize now they did it to me as well but took a more subtle approach and since then i’ve had a hard time connecting to people bc i feel like everyone will treat me how they did.
I had a very similar experience. To this day I find connecting with women hard because of the deep seeded mistrust.
@@esthersatori3699 I'll have to add myself to this group. Luckily, I ended up doing well in high school after having gotten into a top-rated university so I could graduate with my head held high.
Same I become an introvert because of that. I was always confident in the beginning.
Same. The myth of female friendship.
You know, it's a fight from cradle to grave, it never ends, I beat them down by bettering my self new hair style, clothes, makeup and just made positive changes in my life it started in the Sumner of 74, I was 14 that fall I got the respect I wanted, but like everything in life nothing last, but I guess the moral of my story is be your best look your best, they can fight you but they can't turn yourself against yourself! Be your own best friend, don't let them beat you down! Stay confident and strong!😉
Thank you for having the courage to speak from the heart about this painful reality.
Women hate their step daughters and daughters in law and many times their own daughters smh
yep, my own mother did everything to suppress me just so she can feel superior to someone
Some women hate their sons, boyfriend, husbands...or men in general. If I get the vibe a woman has some sort of resentment towards men, I make sure to stay far away from her
Can anyone imagine that all these women who were mean girls are now grand mothers and mothers now! What have they taught their own daughters and sons to behave towards others?🤔
Good for you Ellen Soak for overcoming that mean girl life style 👍🏻👍🏻
They don’t just treat women horribly, they tend to treat men and boys inhumanely as well in my experience
Studies show it's more pervasive among women than men.
@@warmcozy I know, my point was that they do it to both
Very true
A girl I used to know broke me down to the point I started feeling suicidal. She didn't care. She kept up the bullying
@@Feber2001 just ignore it. Bullies usually have some insecurity
Ohhhh Ellen!!! You nailed it!! YES, we must do better! This TEDx Talk is a must for anyone who knows deep down that they have been the "mean girl", been bullied by a "mean girl", or looked the other ways when "mean girls" show up. In other words, this is a talk for all girls and women! Thank you being bold and telling your story!!! Women deserve better... we can do better...
mean is not power it is weakness
Don't kid yourself: mean women can be very powerful and dangerous. It's a super weak use of power, though, if that makes sense, because it's just so hugely messy and indiscriminately destructive.
@@HabitualLover amen
@@HabitualLover "Weak character and morals"
Being a man Im on the outside of this , but I see this going on. The lady Im with doesnt let the “ mean girl” get to her and she is surprisingly calm and handles these situations well. Most women I know are smart and capable and struggle with this daily. All I can say from the outside is the fact that as men we notice this going on and I avoid the “ mean girl” like the plague.
I've been bullied and never bullied anyone back. I'll let God take care of it.
I like her rehearsed, fake cry at the part about her not letting the girl in the sorority....lol. But still there’s a lot of truth to what’s being said
lol
oh yeh, that was bad. It was like press 'cry'.
@@illiatiia Yea I wonder too
U dont know what she is feeling. I cry like this too and its 100% genuine
@@illiatiia My thoughts exactly... "Ellens still at it".
Did you go find the young lady you kept out of the sorority after you realized the error in your ways?
Good one Michelle !!!
Why would she it's not gonna further her public speaking career is it 🤣
She couldn't care less probably...
This woman seems like she's still a fake mean girl. The give away? That fake cry at 4:05 - the one that instantly disappears as fast as it arrived. She's not a reformed mean girl, she's capitalizing on her vibe to get attention. Yuck.
10000%
shes keeping it together. shes speaking in front of cameras and a crowd, shes trained herself to be able to cancel out her emotions. dont discredit her
lol I think you’re projecting and doing the exact this this tedtalk warns women about. How sad
i notice you dont talk about what the other girl went through just how you felt typical i recently talked to a women who bullied me in high school 45 years ago she is still the same she is exacly the same as she was in high school except 100 pounds heavier mean girls dont change they just learn to hide what they are better
I see that too. The talk was still pretty good.
Because It's a speech about the mean girl persona? You are being salty about her rather than listening to the actual message
Exactly! It’s all just glory for self and it’s not unconscious. How can someone unconsciously all over to a target and berate them in a public setting? Did they unconsciously maneuver their legs lol! It’s all smoke screen.
I’ve even noticed this trend in the Christian testimonials too. If you look up those testimonies, most of the ones we see are people like this lady. We never hear from the people the terrorized and traumatized. I’d like to hear about their testimonies. We’ve heard enough of the stories from people who are predators like this lady. Likewise, I’d like to see a Ted talk with her victims.
She can't talk about what the other woman went through because she is not her and it is not her place to do that. That woman is the only one who can share her own experience
People can change
I was bullied in Highschool mostly by my “ best friend .” And I still have trust issues with women.
Oftentimes, unfortunately, the oppressed become the oppressors later.
So so so sad. Oftentimes true. Not always true, but often times.
No way to make up for your actions. She is just on to a new game. Did not change, still a emotional manipulator.
i agree.... she almost sounded prod to have been the HEAD mean girl... i do not beive she has changed... narcissist... that fake cry.. made my blod boil..
Actually, this is what these women do to men as well in my experience. Reputation destruction is a pretty important tool in the toolkit. Men are poorly equipped to deal with this except for practiced pickup artists sadly :(
“Except for practiced pick up artists”. You tried. You really did.
I have found the same. Mean Girls just don't attack other women anymore now it's men as well if they think they will get in the way somehow and yes and their preferred method is reputation destruction and smear campaigns to destroy someone else.
@@RinAsami1 That's what Narcissists do
Your personal story is one so many can relate to from their interactions in social circles. An honest confession that will inspire many!
As a woman now, I have had to deal with mean girls and women all my life. I feel I cannot trust them. I have CPTSD. I don't have any female friends. Only today just in social media I have seen women calling other women Karens and thinking nothing of it. No one stands up to it. The constant belittling by women to women. This conversation needs to be discussed. I have had female teachers telling us we cannot achieve things we want. I don't think I have ever experienced any form of sisterhood. I think it is a myth. This is a good video but I think it will take years for women to be nice to each other
But the people being called Karens are bullies....they are the ones that scream at waitstaff and ethnic minorities. Calling bullies out isn't belittling. Its accountability
I don't know the ages of the commenters here > you wrote that you thought sisterhood was a myth > So you know, I am 62, and in my youth, I never saw them be mean to others. I had lots of friends in high school (the 1970s) and in college, and "sisterhood" was a standard thing. We were supportive friends, no one was mean: people were able to confide in each other, cry with each other, share their experiences and feel accepted and loved in the midst of it. They didn't demean each other, they didn't show unkindness, they didn't bully, and I had numerous dorm roommates that were strangers when we moved in together. I had a group of friends that were never unkind to anyone. I observed the friends of my parents and their peers in the community, and they didn't behave meanly with each other at all. I had many sisterly supports through my life, but as the 1990s developed, I noticed a large shift in people's behavior, such that they would actually try to run over people, not just verbally, hatefully, but physically too, even with their cars. I'm telling you, it didn't used to be like that.
Narcissist doing virtue signaling . That is the essence of her talk .
How can you tell? Is just the way her tone is during the monologue ?
@@natalie__lu2500 She's making herself look like the victim when she was the a$$hole all along
I love how all of these focus only on women doing it to other women. It's not limited to gender
Be blessed y'all 🙏
Wow, Helen, you moved me. You are a very talented motivational speaker. Palms up, leaning in, long gazes, beautiful voice fluctuation, an obvious emotional attached to the subject... That was a Super Star presentation.
You were very Blessed when you met Lehia, Mia, and Jess...My rescue came from Patty, Mindy, and Steph...Same case scenario, different Earth Angels...All Gifts from the Creator...our Father who Loves us ALL, PERFECTLY.
I feel like you were probably friends with the ‘popular kids’ or people who aspired to be in that group/ have that status. Those types tend to be the most viscous, and the girls are veryyy competitive with each other. It’s good that you’ve learned from your mistakes!!
the way to end those groups are to smack all them in the mouth if they ever get out of line.
Life changing Ted Talk..I feel like watching it everyday as an emotional healer and for motivation
Sorry, but you cant never heal a narcissist...they are mean forever because they are heartless.
@Birb Enthusiast I've learned that satan cuts off the heart, if people think from the heart...they will discern right from wrong. This is why a psychopath and a narcissist can be cruel with no empathy to whoever they are hurting.
Right. It's all they know
Sadly, thank you speaking the truth. “Emotional wounds do not come with expiration date” indeed!
I don’t really take her seriously and the fake crying was a giveaway. This is nothing more than an attention grab for self glorification.
Interestingly, I purposely used to turn down women like her as I figured it was a way of humbling them. I remember this one time where a woman like this tried to talk to me and I told her that I’m not what she was looking for. She asked what I meant and I said that I’m not a dope dealer nor a person that hurts others. She looked taken aback by that. After that I walked on. I wouldn’t do that now but at the time I figured I was doing a service in balancing things out for the underdogs of the world. I’ve always hated bullying and predatory type of people and saw myself as a Robin Hood type of person to stand up for those who couldn’t do it for themselves.
I will say, in that, I soon realized if I wasn’t careful I’d become just like them in that I get a kick out of hurting others even if it is as a situation if beating up the bully. I’m still all for fighting for what’s right but must do it the right way.
why i feel like she is teaching us how to become mean girls~
so on point thank you for addressing this. I am so sick of women being unkind for no reason.
I think she made this up to get a Ted talk
Your mean girl audience doesn't seam interested in anything you have to say. They are going to continue to be mean girls.
this world would be badass if all women of the world come together
It’s so true,and to be a man caught in the middle of the work bs is annoying.
I wound up being the one everyone at every level seemed to come to talk to if they had conflicts. On nine occasions now, I've sat in human resources meetings with two women, each of whom I like and each of whom hates the other for reasons I can't understand.
Good on you for taking responsibility for your actions
I remember one day in middle school, sitting at lunch and just looking around me. The table I was sitting at was round/circular where I think 8 people could sit. I looked around and saw how my friends were of different races, different personalities, and different interests. But it wasn’t just one table, the table next to me were also my friends. And some of these friends I wasn’t very close to because they were my friends’ friends. But heck did I feel at home. I’m very introverted and shy, but I felt so comfortable and only realized it at that moment. I was so comfortable talking and laughing with my mouth open around them without any care in the world. We were all so different but oh so similar.
I hate waking up but I loved school my middle school days, even if it meant waking up at 5:30. Now it’s senior year, and I haven’t attended high school in person since freshman year because I’m doing online college classes. And I miss these friends…or acquaintances. The nicest girls I have ever met. ❤😢
This is empty. She never goes into why people do it other than being threatened...but not additional reason.
As I get older I love hanging out with men. So much easier to be friends with than women.
Lol internal misogynist.
As an 18 year old, only wanting to love and be loved I have been mistreated by women so much. No matter how kind and loving or complementing I was, women were still unkind. it breaks my heart. Women need to stop gossiping and start championing one another.
She is talking about the rise of narcissism, which is in lock step with feminism. Aren't women ammmaaaazzing
Yes, as a woman alone, I have learned that there are very, very few sincere women in this world.
Why does she keep saying another "woman"? IMO mean girls don't discriminate.
i'm amazed that for once the speaker didn't blame straight men for this issue. nowadays any time any female for any reason is having a bad time of it one way or another there's a straight male to blame for it.
when one group i.e. women only grouprises together as a "group" other are left behind thus discrimination. The human race should rise together, and everyone should learn to be respectful and be nice to everyone. Let the chips fall where they may.
I started being ostracized in kindergarten and still am age 47.
the in law talk was one sided...It happens both ways.
I crave for sisterhood
cmsutty Me too. 💪🏼⚡️
My 12 year old daughter has been bullied for years. This year (7th grade) there’s been a big difference…she’s become the mean girl. I am devastated. Thank you so much for this Ted Talk. 🩷
“Zero upside..!” Thank you for the Truth!❤
she want to appear really sharp and strong lmao
This is GREAT!!!! I totally took notes :) GO SISTERHOOD!!!!
She's still dealing with a vicious problem, radical feminism.
A Western attractive white blond woman, is the most privileged biological being that EVER has walked the crust of earth. Her words, now, are all about the sisterhood. I’d say to her swing it the other way, instead of trying to see the women as a singular entity where they have to be to each other all the things you mentioned in your video, try to see them in the context of a community, where men are part of the picture too, and not only men, let’s say other elements as well, like children, family relationships and responsibilities, so on and so on. Then perhaps women can start feeling empowered and be a positive force of nature where they are PART OF something bigger than themselves.
In this point of time, feminism (which is the ruling ideology in the Western world at the moment) tells them they only need to be themselves and it’s all only about themselves and what they want and hate everything that you perceive t be against your own interest (read ‘Patriarchy’, and competing against anything that stands in your way, like other women).... That is a war, not only amongst women themselves, but equally so, is essentially undermining the society as well.
I’m trying to find a new tribe because Trying to get women in my life family and friends have been horrible lifetime experiences. I have started to stop letting others have negative impacts.
They are like this Terry Silver-character and his companions in Karate Kid 3. Cobra Kai is indeed a toxic culture.
Nope do not agree, I have experienced a vast array of bullying, yes I related to the ambush that too happened to me I was also read a long list of all my supposed faults from my home to my clothes to my laugh from a group of girls. This continued in college yes I absolutely relate, total exclusion because I was doing well, I am a hard worker. Yes happened again in a job a salon where I lost all my hair while they laughed, then recently as a mum, hardcore relational aggression and social exclusion for no real reason. Did I ever succumb to becoming a 'mean girl' No I did not, this is the most disingenuous narcissistic rubbish I have ever heard. Hard to stomach this preaching, sounds like Smoak has found another clique who all virtue signal and pat each other on the back for being somehow now so woke so virtuous. Actually found this nauseating cannot believe I watched this perpetrator masquerading as a victim. Pure vomit my god the rehearsed voice croak too much. And Smoak stop barking your orders to all the women in the world as if we are all fundamentally 'mean', even towards the end still making assumptions and still judging. Gah!
The irony of this comment lol…
This doesnt have enough views....
You break down men too...
If you hurt others like that, you're not any better than the people that hurt you.
That's interesting that she was Mean-Girled before she became the Mean Girl.
A great lesson wonderfully presented, keep it up.
Thank you so much🎉
It seems to me that if there were more women around in the workspace, then adding one more wouldn't be perceived as a threat, but another collaborator and supporter. The best people on my teams have *always* been women, so I have a pro-woman bias that I have to be aware of.
My friend came to me for protection and help from her boss's incessant bullying. Female boss.
Women weren't safe there emotionally-- and it wasn't just her.
So much female agression and manipulation.
"___ you're so lucky you're a guy"
15:15 “burn her” ok.
WOMEN HATE WOMEN - A SURVIVAL MECHANISM
Smile, encourage, celebrate 🎉 , speak gently and kindly, say words like:
1) I see you
2) I believe in you
3) I am so glad that you are here
THANK YOU ❤
She's great! Such a heart felt real talk
The mean girl phenomenon is mostly North American. Where I went to school, kids were all victims of the government, so they had each other's backs.
This is a narcissist. She started off the "victim". Sure.... she was always the bully.
Exactly
Totally agree. She magically forgot all the criticism her friends sat her down to talk about in high school? Something tells me SHE was the bully back then and they set up an intervention to get her to stop. Then she victimized herself as if she was a target of bullying. I don’t buy her fake story for a minute.
it happens to men, but you see a guy, has to face the female wall, as a guy, am 52 and was "Mean-gitled for years by women
you see I was the smartest in the room, and still am
The write a letter to her and "burn her" freudian slip though😱
My 5 year old daughter is dealing with a mean girl! I am here to figure out how to empower her to manage it with dignity?!??? This is hard!
This is brilliant
Leah, Mia and Jess, well done sisters :)
So well done!
Hmmm 🤔 Idk, why does it seems every broad I ever heard confess about being a former 'mean girl are still mean girls?
I am 47 and having it happen to me in a Radiology Technology Program. What makes someone the target?
I am so sorry and I am in my 50s and see it happen in the work place. For no reason. Hang in there and just be you! 🌺
My ex-MIL called me the "other-woman" who stole her son.. x 29 years... she was over 60% of the loss of my marriage....but I am NOW FREE!!!
Great and necessary talk!
Great talk
Goooo Ellen!
Thank you!
women are all like this
Wow! What those girls did to her was horrible!!
And then what if you have been bullied and mistreated your whole life and then you lash out and that behavior be labeled a narcissist. 😑😑
Well done on the elephant in the room.
And Women will change or forgo a behaviour that they are comfortable with and see nothing wrong in because...?
Just came off a bully campaign from three fronts. It was so bad that God himself showed up. Not a peep from anyone else.
I keep women at a distance because I'm afraid if I'm kind to a woman that I'm giving permission to my boyfriend to flirt and fall in love with her, compare me to her and leave me for her
Victoria Akoms yes! Finally someone said it!
That happened to me when I was 16. I’m 21 and looking back it’s horrifying. But hey... men love bitches.
that sounds like a problem with your boyfriend not you...
Isn’t that the whole point of sororities? You choose the coolest, prettiest, and most (insert-adjective) to be in it, to the exclusion of others? That’s why I never liked the Greek system. It’s sanctioned exclusion.
Meat and potatoes 13:45 from there on is the main advice part
Sounds like the real estate industry both ways
She’s Doing this for attention she’s lost her looks!!
Oh yea no when women cant get what the want physically they are forced to think and adapt emotionally.
I am embarrassed for this lady. She is doing a speech on the importance of treating people with kindness and humanity. Which is life skills 101. Children understand the importance of kindness. It is fundamental. How did she miss the lesson? What kind of environment was she raised in to to feel justified to treat people with such psychological contempt?
Sighh I thought this was the norm too but not everyone got the message in childhood unfortunately
Someone can be mean due to fear of losing what they have, “status, popularity” fuels their validation
Alot of cognitive dissonance here. Trying to show how good women are through social/job status (hierachy race) and then advocating for collectively not engaging in the biologically status race, which gave birth to the very social/job race to begin with.. What you need is to rethink capitalism.!
Most people can't even admit that they are even "mean girls"! 😊
Create more seats at your table SO MOTE IT BE THE LAW