8 Ways How Kindness Will RUIN Your Life
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- Опубликовано: 25 сен 2023
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🤔 Is kindness always the right choice? In this thought-provoking video, we'll explore Stoic philosophy and its insights into why there are situations where always being kind may not align with Stoic principles. Discover the nuances of virtue and when it's essential to prioritize other Stoic values. 🏛️
Join us as we discuss:
1️⃣ Stoic Philosophy: An introduction to its principles.
2️⃣ The Virtue of Balance: Finding harmony in Stoic values.
3️⃣ Recognizing Boundaries: Setting limits with wisdom.
4️⃣ The Impact of Excessive Kindness: Avoiding pitfalls.
5️⃣ Self-Respect: Maintaining dignity and well-being.
6️⃣ Practicing Discernment: Making wise choices.
7️⃣ The Stoic Path to Virtue: Understanding when to prioritize moral excellence.
🌟 Whether you're seeking a deeper understanding of Stoic philosophy or looking to navigate the complexities of virtue, this video will provide valuable insights into the importance of balance in Stoicism. Don't forget to hit the like button, subscribe for more Stoic wisdom, and share your thoughts in the comments. Let's explore the nuances of kindness together! 🎥🤨 #Stoicism #Kindness #Virtue #Wisdom 🚀🧐
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All i can say everything on this video is based on FACTS because i experienced it myself, people who are too kind are often left broken, shattered physically emotionally and financially and you also feel confused and empty you experience stress depression burn outs unhappiness because people used abused your kindness for their own personal gain and plessure and as a empath you give and give and give and give and give and give even if there is nothing left anymore. you try to find other ways to get it as long as the people around you are happy even if that means that you yourself are not happy sometimes people ask me what makes you happy i can't give an awnser because you don't know anymore how it feels to be happy or feel any serenity at all that's why its important to choose for yourself and not others. and by choose for yourself i dont meaning using abusing other people as well because they have done it to you no by choosing yourself i mean its important for empaths not letting other people use or abuse the kindness that empaths have because people with the wrong intenions drain it from you and you will feel exhausted.
I don't need philosophical advice on the subject ,life's direct experience s taught me about being too generous. You live and you learn.
I 've been through hard times . It didn't kill.me , just made me a stronger and resilient person in various ways.
@@michaelsaunders1509 Everybody experience it differently.
😊
“givers need limits because takers have none”
That’s me😢
Exactly
This needs to be on a billboard!🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾💯
This new year 2024 my kindness is over...am Pisces I give my all.. in the end people just selfish and forgetful..I wonder if they have dementia!
I will still help but I will use my discretion as to who to help.
The most cruel part, kindness attracts narcissists. Maintain your boundaries and goals or you will be building someone else's life while you have nothing.
I work with cardiologists who in general are all narcissists. Narcissists are children, treat them as such.
Totaly agree sad i didnt know sooner. Still in love with the man😢
my parents in a nutshell, mother too kind with a narcissist individual
Narcissism is our Current time unspoken epidemic
@@77peacock77 just because they have a piece of paper attesting they repeated everyting said in a "school"
There's a time to be kind and a time to be firm.
Well said💐👏
Ecclesiastes
Absolutely
a time to have firm asscheeks. ahah gottem
That's what she said 😂
It's not entirely about being too kind. You just got to KNOW when to say NO.
Always say no
This💛
Never be nice to someone who doesnt respect you.
You can do this through energy to other person. Skeptical/less favourable view of them/actions. even the threat of danger. Your smart person.. distance myself. Better to be skeptical always. 8 or 9/10 person will undermine you. Given chance. I have very low threshold for trusting people. Most won't. Until start to stand up for own boundaries/self. Knowing what a person is like. Can discern this/that easily. Always follow your gut. But don't rely on for truth. If had bad confrontation in past chances are will do so again. Your looking at personalities. Doesn't mean their weak. But I know people. Get too close to certain people get scorched. Treat people like piranhas. But sometimes person is okay generally. But sometimes triggers themselves is piranha. It might also come to help person out as well.
Why do you need validation from others?
No but we're social creatures. And being social means learn more/stave off isolation. Well, perhaps more than Id like to think I'm not. Your right. Been close friend for long time. Well tbh more I grow the less I do feel need to attach myself with them. But close friend is someone know well and tbh it's not gonna change. Unless something drastic happens. But starting to place eggs in myself. Realized friends in general can be assess to. And it's them I must distance from as well. Unfortunately. One close friend is well only person whom I do place any value in, overall. We've both changed. All changed. World changed. Like different people and noticing/seeing more and more. However still value to be had here so. I'm already on that ring believe me. Crafting own plan. I never would like prospect of things changing and being nothing left for myself. At this point now. Good to have other friends though too. Not healthy. To have close friend. Even if few that matter. Your right I never really been confident in myself. Kinda sucks. But idk had it's charms I guess. Do feel like could grown much more. Just wasn't encouraged. Never explored world fully or talked enough people outside social circle. I also had a childhood experience. Very sad. Very big experience took most of value I had. Profound experience/trauma. (Complex).
Amen 🙏🏾❤ Also don't be nice to someone who doesn't like you.
Respect is earned, nobody respects you because they dont know you.
They call you selfish when you put yourself first, but then they take advantage of you when you help them out.
Toxic people do. Healthy people respect your needs, and can accept "no" for an answer.
My sister has always been selfish and ungrateful and disrespectful, gave her plenty of warning that her behaviour will make Me cut her off permanently. She carried on with her toxic behaviour so I cut her off, haven't seen her in over 3 years, also had to cut My nephew's off because she used them to blackmail Me. She would say "Come see Me now or you will never see your nephew's again" apparently they are upset that I dont want to see them but it's there mother I dont want to see, and She is responsible not Me.
I got into a conversation with a cousin and told him that my time is coming and when it comes, I'm going to turn my back on all of those who turned their backs on me.
@@lennysantos892 Its not about who turned there back on you, it's about there negative behaviour, I'd rather people dont bother then behave in way that damages My life.
On an airplane, one of your instructions is to put your mask on first, then your kids or the infirm.
I strongly believe that a good kindhearted person will prevail over evil .
People who were raised with this thinking end up being taken advantage of. They think they did everything right, and with the best intentions, only to end up living in misery due to their naiveness.
"Good guys" may finish last but at least we finish with our self respect!
i believe that a person can be kind while maintaining self-respect. Never let anyone use you as a doormat, but show genuine empathy and compassion to those around you.
@@aaronthenorm5400 who the hell wants to finish last???
I will continue to practice kindness, care, empathy and compassion to others, i will maintain strong boundaries along the way and honestly communicate any issues , if someone repeatedly oversteps my boundaries i will go no contact. My kindness cannot be weaponised against me as i seek no validation outside of myself
You are a great person, I love your comment
@@JcaveTV thank you ☺️ appreciated.
I like that.🤔
That’s exactly what I’ve had to do.
Username checks
To sum up: Be kind out of strength, not weakness
Funny… I didn’t hear that message. I heard, never be kind because stoicism is apathy and feeling absolutely nothing for anybody.. because that’s what the video said.
Well said!
Yes!
@@chelseacraft4669That is not the message. If it was, you're either a psychopath or already dead.
@@chelseacraft4669 be kind cause were forced to?
Dont be kind to the wrong people
Bravo!!👍
yes of course, but most people appear nice in the beginning.....
@@ann2456 I have learned that there is usually a gut feeling... that i often ignore thinking im overreacting ...
BE A DAVID NOT A POINDEXTER
That's not the logic. Sometimes kindness is very thing saves individual to become decent/stay decent. Not being kind only makes more enemies not less.
I've had a harsh awakening in my life recently. It's become painfully clear that some individuals will exploit my kindness and compassion for their own selfish purposes, leaving me empty-handed in the end. I was once so trusting, believing that others shared my values and would act with integrity. Looking back, I can't help but laugh at my own naivety. It's a bitter pill to swallow, realizing how foolish I was to place my trust so blindly.
Amazing comment!
I experienced the exact same thing in this modern, real world. I have deleted kindness from my life!
Same here, it hurt a lot in the beginning, but after knowing that you only depend on yourself peace arrives into your life.
@@LeeTuaty PERFECTLY STATED 👍 I was too kind and naive for too long. Now, having deleted KINDNESS from my life, I am finally enjoying PEACE in my SOLITUDE - PRICELESS!
100% having the same awakening as you right now!! And the world HAS gotten harder, more exploitative, and less reciprocal in our recent lifetimes, and many of us are feeling devalued by this. That's part of why you are feeling used at this time.
I know it took me till I was 70 years old I've been a giver my whole life catering to souls all around me but the moment I needed someone no one was there
I'm 62 years old and I'm in same boat as you--- the younger generation these days is all take and no give--- iv always given and supported looking after my grand kids when my adult kids need me , but at the end of the day I get little help in return---,I now set boundaries wich I feel much better for--- 😊
65... Same!! Time to give that much need kindness to self . 🕊️💙✨🙏
Narcissists target those who are kind. I've learnt that several times now. Never again!
Yeah, a lot of narcissists are natural con-artists
No the government targets those who know too much
Facts!
Same. Was in one of the most disgusting relationships because of my stupidity and extra kindness.
@@annaj2607what happened may I ask if you don't mind?
Yes. Excess in anything is bad for you. There’s a difference between being kind and being a doormat.
Come work where I work.... Laziness is a profession for most people. 😂😂😂😂😂..... But let's keep doing it... It keeps them lazy and stupid. 😂😂😂😂😂
Spot on!!
Exactly
@@FZ2HELLsay so ur self
Moderation is one of the stoic's principles.
There is a big difference between being kind and being too kind. It’s always good to be kind.
You got that right 😊
Absolutely agree. I used to be too kind and not able to say no even to my detriment for most of my life. I finally learned and since last year I put myself first and they don't like it and say you're changed. Yes I have changed thank god.
I so agree with you I finally put myself first after years of getting walked over and others around me don't like it funny isn't it when you finally wake up to it all blessings to you🌈
@@joannedibben2352 Bravo. Keep it up.
I think two pronged thing, well multiple.
1 Self-Awareness aspect. Knowing yourself and where your weaknesses are. But that's a private endeavour. Stopgaping against that. Finding method to treat weaknesses. And discover them.
2. I think it is I think yeah I think that is very wise. In all honesty though I think life is hard/difficult. Awareness of others.
3. Progress/Learning/Self-Educating. The Only way from experience to 'seal-up' (against others attacks/negativity) is to learn, is to improve. Is to be where you previously had were not. I think more adept you are the further go. And that's just same with anything and everything in life. You may also command more respect from knowing things. If you can make milestones in life. That will be a SIGNIFICANT boost to you. When face other people. Truth is might have to. At some point.
4. Don't worry what others think. Cause it doesn't matter what they think. What matters is only how you progress. It rly means that basically you are only person that matters. Unless there's a truly special individual that care about. Don't give a fuck about anyone else. Focus on you. (But if you can manage not to be a ''dick'' person be nice with caution). I don't rly mean that I think it's smart way. But it could be seen in that light.
5. Is dont sin it can bring bad energy aura to you. And I read something that it can actually affect your chakra. I think it's a bringer of 'bad-luck'. I really mean that. That could be stealing it could be crossdressing. It could be any recent negative activity that draws negativity to you. Your 'shakra' is your energy your vibe. Your morality. Your frequency. You rly don't want that over you head. Floating cloud. It might feel like getting away at the time. Bit things always follow you. Even if just by bad luck and nothing else. It can INFECT YOU. make you seem less than. But also avoiding other negative sources like online and online gaming. As well that bring their own. It comes back to you in other ways. It also affect mental health which affect everything else. Anyone who tells you otherwise or talking gibberish often hasn't felt what you felt. Id they did well. It would be different tale. Trust yourself no matter what. Mind is set so there is 'no debate'.
6. Never trust yourself. Even if other people put their trust in you. It's often 'misplaced' trust. You should act instead the opposite. That you need to be better than who you are. People don't know you they can only predict. Based on what they see. Don't be stupid. Be smarter than already are, if you are distrusting of a situation or people trust it. Even momentary. Or slightest itch feeling. Or even glince of light. It could as well be a too good to be true feeling as well where you feel too confident. And no doubt at all. If you do one of 2 things. Feel no doubt/naiivity/cold trust in something/too good to be true feeling, or feel conflicted/itch feeling. Trust it. But also realise that lack of experience can be play in that too. So need to gauge where you are fit/competent for the role. Or just been forced to against your own will. Putting you in bad position to disrep you.
7. Also don't try to change things that can't be changed. It's true you can change it. And it's in your capacity to change (scientific view). However there is extent where it is true. Don't continue to dwell on things. Just move on. See it as learning experience. You may feel guilty because feel all you. But truth is it's NOT. There's many complicated factors not accounted for. internet, the people, the society, the environment, disabilities, mood, mental health, genetics. And so on. It's easy to feel guilty but I'm not gonna say don't beat yourself up cause that's unrealistic you should a bit. But don't do it too much.
8. I would say learn knowledge before it happens. Predict. I think would be viewed as impressive feat if you could predict what was happening and counter it. Place your bets on a thing to occur and then go about vaccinating things. They might have a positive mystery about you. Think, maybe you are a guru/possibly even a genius/maybe that rare guy (a dr strange with magic up his sleeve). They might be seeing others things in you. Perhaps they think you were someone else in taller authority. They see it within you. Like a version of you don't see in yourself. Yet. Just as often your predecessors can GHOST within when best version comes out. The trick is. How smart can you get? How good at predicting can you BE? Where is level of other worldly prediction. If it was me I'd be learning all the time. Cannot overstate how important education is. Could be enough to turn bad situation into a positive one. Chances are it's likely already saved you a thousand times without even knowing. About it. Cause it never feels like being saved.
I want you to imagine.. There's someone there standing there who is laughing at you. And they feel 'satisfaction' (significant) over you about a mistake your about to make. They could be your enemy they could be rival could be friend (betrayed) who themselves as well feel satisfaction. Frienemy. Who later become your enemy. Now that you denied them. How does it feel? It feels great. Doesn't it? They wanted you to fail and you proved them wrong. Their plan blew up on their face. They had perfect plan/ambush. And it failed. Wanted you to fall directly on that place. Caused and exploited a weakness for you to fall into. But you didn't fall into it. Now rather than you feeling humiliated/satisfied. Instead the humiliation factor is on them. Because you never fell for it. It's hard but when you do it's greatest feeling. Baiting you but didn't fall for it. Averted it. This is idea of being smarter.
9. Play the game. Play the game of life. Links to previous point. If you can know things. These will go a long way to bolstering you and act as your 'armor'. Also not everything is about winning. It's about being further than otherwise would have been. It's about 'positivity'. Positive drive. Encouraging way of looking at things. I believe as well certain places can heal you. Act as good luck charms. Lot of it is spirit. And having a positive attitude/outlook to things. Or taking positive steps to move in more positive direction for you/yourself.
Good
You have my respect because I’m in such a bad place because of being “kind” without the boundaries all my life. I’ve been working hard to change, draw the necessary lines, and look for my peace. You have given me hope by sharing. Thank you! 🙏🏼 ❤
Be as kind to yourself as you are to others. Never neglect yourself.
So important but easy to neglect yourself if you didn't have that as a role model in early life.
Thank you! 😅
Amen 🙏
🕊@@lorindaswann5797
I’m 45 & cold turkey gave up alcohol 8 months ago & realised this since. Better late than never & finally moving forward in life instead of being everyone’s doormat👊
Amazing! Thank you so much for sharing this with the community💪
As Marcus Aurelius said: “As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other one for helping others”
I literally did the same! I’m 48. Cheers to you!
@@julesonfoot9273 that’s awesome & cheers to you also😊🤙
I’ve been alcohol free for 9 months and regret why I didn’t do this sooner. However on the glass half full side, my health, stamina, and mental energy is through the roof!
Yes same, I explain it to people like a cloud lifts from your brain & can all of a sudden think clearly & in turn helps you act more clearly & make better decisions in life. Moving forward, not two steps back.
I've been extremely kind and concerned about the others, so more narcissistic people were very attracted to me but I learned my lessons recently how to be kind to myself first and say no to those who wants to take advantage, and I feel much happier and full of positive energy👌👍🙏
Charity starts at home❤
I think we should stop blaming people for what might be in them could be in us. We don't know. I know it's sad but the best thing you can do is not get involved. You need to build value to use as self protection. That's your insurance.
I can relate, only recently, at 62, l learned to come first, not last. ❤p
Seems like everyone is learning that these days.
This is so true I had a friend that would mentally abuse me I met her one day at a crowded area and she told me to park in a tow zone and I finally went off on her and told her she’s a narcissist to her face she now defriended me and won’t speak to me. I had to do everything she wanted to do she was bossy. I don’t miss the mistreatment from her.
She was never your friend
She did u a favor
sorry dude for that
Consider it an honor. Like being kicked off an internet dating site for wanting to do background checks before wasting time meeting liars, bad elements, and ego inflated trash.
GOOD, you got rid of her ass, because she ain't nothing, you are❤
My cousin filed bankruptcy after helping family in Central America. This was a lesson for me. No one came to help her after and that family did just fine when she had nothing to give.
Same story also happened in Africa all the time.
No good deed goes unpunished.
I do fine without a lollipop but still enjoy a sucker.
That is not a reason to 'stop being kind'. Kindness doesn't have to involve foolishness or unwise financial decisions.
@@jamesrawlings5781 I am definitely kind, I believe. Just yesterday my sister received a box 📦 I sent to Central America. But I will not use credit cards to fund gifting.
all this is true. When you over value someone, they will under value you in the same measure.
Sorry you feel like you have to translate your bad experiences with a few people to every person you meet. Hope you clear that up one day and realize that not everybody deserves to be punished because you had some bad experiences along the way.
Overvaluing someone will cause problems
All of it is true? Including this vibration crap? lol what is your sign? What color are your energy crystals?
Spot on. When you treat her like a celebrity she's treat you like a fan. Unfortunate but that's just how it is.
Why are people like that though?
You’d think that anyone would be happy to be treated that way and reciprocate in kind with honesty and loyalty above everything else.
Like why would you not be/ do that?
Its not a competition with your friends or partner, or am i a fool and it IS a dog eat dog thing CONSTANTLY our WHOLE life!?
If it is- I won’t complain when I come to the end of it all and check out from this beautiful 🌍
At peace-finally. 😢
All factz. This has been one of the most powerful lessons on my spiritual journey of being too kind. I have had to learn to set boundries with not only family, friends but clients as well. I don't take it personally, but realize if you don't value your time, energy and resources. Others will not and will feel entitled, because you never said no.
You've articulated an essential aspect of personal growth and self-respect. Setting boundaries is a sign of self-care and self-worth, and it helps ensure that your time, energy, and resources are used wisely and in ways that align with your values. Stoicism encourages us to act virtuously and wisely, which includes knowing when and how to set boundaries. It's a valuable lesson on your spiritual journey, and it can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life. 🌟🚀🌿
It’s hard to set boundaries with a narcissist who doesn’t respect you and them and laughs at you and threatens to take everything away. But I thank God for this new years gift of finding this channel- it has already given me hope and strength.
I'm glad our channel has given you hope and strength. Remember, in Stoicism, our power lies in how we respond, not in changing others. Stay strong and focused on what you can control. 💪🌟
Never stop being kind. Don't be servile. Kindness can be done through simple acts and thoughtfulness that cost you almost nothing. It shouldn't suck the life from you.
👏👏👏👏
There is no reward for being kind so NOO
I agree with your differentiation between being kind and allowing yourself to be a dormat - servile.
We don't need rewards from outside of ourselves for being kind. That's having expectations when you do something and that kind of thinking defeats the higher energies of kindness. Our reward for kindness is within ourself with the knowing of carrying out purpose to life's true meaning.
Thanku... well said
I'm a living example of bad things happening to good nice guy. Live with boundaries and expect nothinig in return. Still be kind but with boundaries. Stay strong and keep improving.
I don’t remember any part in the video saying that you should give kindness with boundaries. It just said don’t be kind at all.
Me too
@@chelseacraft4669You ought to be kind to those who are kind. And strict with those who are unkind.
@@chelseacraft4669You need to re-watch the video cause that's not what it's saying at all. It's saying not to be TOO kind to others without first making sure you are kind enough to yourself.
This relates to me so much. I'm always being nice and kind. Yes, the draining energy is the worst part. But now I'm done wasting my time and good energy on negative people. It's time for me to blossom and shine.
Stoicism is a philosophy that helps you become better at overcoming adversity, practicing self-control, being aware of your impulses, understanding how short your life is, understanding how little time you have allotted, and how to achieve inner peace ... 💥💫💯❤💫
You've summarized the essence of Stoicism beautifully! It's a philosophy that provides valuable guidance on how to live a more meaningful and virtuous life, emphasizing self-improvement, resilience, and inner peace. By practicing its principles, individuals can navigate the complexities of life with greater wisdom and fulfillment. 💯🌟📚🧘♂️
This video is so timely.
I recently foolishly let someone I barely knew live in my place Scot-free for two months. In return, this person kicked in my door and left me to pay the damages.
A couple months later, this same person was involved in a wreck and now has no vehicle.
I went to see the person after the accident, offered sympathy, etc. And in return this person tried to guilt trip me because I needed to GO HOME and get myself ready for work. I have just enough gas to get myself through the week. Plus I’m not feeling well and can’t believe I found myself explaining myself as a grown woman as to why I needed to LEAVE.
In their mind, I was supposed to stay and transport them around all day!
I officially have nothing else to give!
That person didn’t add to my life AT ALL and I’m finally waking up!
Sounds like a narcissist, keep away.
Please stay away from them. You don't deserve that.
You’ve visited and now cut them out of your life. They sound like users . You’ll be happier putting this person in the past and leave out of the present and future. You’ve done your bit . Enjoy your life , you deserve happiness
Codependents Anonymous
It’s free
Well, that's one down, only eight billion more to go, you totally got this!
"You shouldn't give your YES to someone who couldn't respect your NO."
Author unknown
the only ones that respect your NO is your friend.
I was always a kind caring helpful person when younger. I’m now 76 and live on my own with no friends 🤷♀️
Sorry to hear, take care of urself
I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing or means either you’ve been kind to the wrong people your whole life or you had the wrong people around you your entire life
Growing up with a narcissistic parent I was overly kind & helpful for a lot of years. & yes I was seen as weak & stupid more often than I care to mention. I've known & worked with a ton of people over the years. Most weren't evil but they weren't kind either. Also noticed working in an office, it's usually the nicest people in the room that wound up targeted for gossip. ? Strange but true.
Absolutely! I resonated with every word!
They also get all the work while the lazy @ssholes gossip & do nothing all day
Matthew 10:16 NLT
“Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves
So sad bro.
I work in a helping profession and its true . Its like the more you help people the worse they get and blame you. Ive leanred to only help someone as much as they are willing to help themselves.
Spot on. You just have to let people fuck up and learn for their own. It can be hard if its with a friend or someone close but you got to know where to cut your ties. Stay strong bro.
You got it pretty spot on. People will keep on being problem long after you helped them. If people can't help themselves or invest energy then its very hard for someone like ourselves to keep on accompanying it. One of worst people I encountered was someone who was always right, and never wrong. Every rant was about defending themselves rather than taking some of accountability. and honestly its just toxic. I get some defence, but after a while.. using same 'self-defence' card just gets you nowhere and it makes me feel tired listening to it. The truth is we are all wrong in something. every one of us. to say your perfect. is bigotry. yes you are sometimes wronged and yes being self-respectful/defensive is good way. but in the end its not a good way. because not opening up to self-learning. in long run it becomes obstruction, of the way. than the unway. it hurts individuals and yourself. Me this, me that!! (defence). what else is YOU, everything???? all Ive heard for past year/2 years/3 years. (or more). (no change, no accountability, no I did this, no I did that). it sickens (feel sickened) me honestly that many people do have to be humilitied (constant-basis) where others aren't, but given free-card for their own behaviour. cause their always right, right?? not wanting anyone to assume all blame for something, but some piece of it yesss. (some share of it). no inherent ownership. cling to friends, cling to other people to make feel right. oh but your one of the few who don't take anyy kind of ownership and you get by, by countering other people to what they say. Right? (every time you give out perfect counter-card). instead of taking in any of fault. (cause your flawless).
In the end it comes down to bottlenecks of the person (themselves). But I have a hard time listening to people like that. when, actually when are they going to mature up.
It's not just enemies look out for. It's friends as well.
@@tommychappell6359 ya. I totally get it. Accountability is huge. If someone can't see their own part in an issue then I'm out. You can't get anywhere with people like that
So true, i a m 72 and couldn't agree more with this. If only I knew this decades ago.
As Seneca said: “As long as you live, keep learning how to live” ❤️
sad your life is 99% over before you learned this
Don’t stop being kind Just select better people who are as kind as you are!!!!!🙌🙌🙌🙌. I’m very kindhearted But I refuse to trash myself to anyone💪💪
It's so true... moderation is key ... and I never and don't Expect anything in return.I do it because I care genuinely.
But I stop treating people the way I wanted to be treated and treat them the way they treat me
Yup, and watch what happens when you suddenly set boundaries. Everything you've done, sacrificed, given...none of that matters. When you claw back, you then become the A-hole, so don't go falling into the trap!
Don't forget to have a pleasant smile when you say no.
Exactly. I stopped helping others. I just stopped giving a shit.
When that happens you see the true colors of the receivers . Ungrateful vermin..not worth the effort
My brother cursed me out when I finally said no. He did the same with our sister.
Sad how some should of set boundries sooner. Before they become the doormat and you give so much that when empty the same effort and dedication and loyalty arent given back or thrown at you like they are now superior and then you realize there was never mutual loyalty or love.
Sometimes when people offer help, depending on the person offering, I’ll refuse the help because I know they want something in return.
whats that?
Yes they always want something in return, that's why the quran says do the good things for god not for humans, that way we don't wait something in return and we will live peacefully.
@@dynamite9545 Thank you for your wisdom. Well thought. Yes exactly. We are always bigger than other human. If we relate things to other people we leave out our own morals. We must be Bigger Than the people. Who may well be leading us on. Not act for them but to act for 'all time'. All time means imagine that there was 2nd you but a higher you. Imagine you died in their presence and instead there was someone better in its place. Who was you but not you. An advanced you.
@@dynamite9545 I say. Don't bother with EM at all.
Sounds like you an Avoidant Attachment Style …
I am always kind to anyone. Nothing to loose and don't loose anything. I am always peacefull and calm.🥺
*lose
It's wonderful that you're kind and have a peaceful attitude in life. There's so much stress and conflict in this world, it's important to spread kindness and be understanding of others. However, it's also important to remember that it's okay to be kind and peaceful and still set boundaries and say no when you need to. Kindness and peacefulness shouldn't mean sacrificing your own well-being and happiness. You can be both kind and peaceful and still stick up for yourself if necessary.
You sound cool❤
I stumbled on this website some weeks ago, rather late as I’m 76 but nevertheless timely. I spent over half my life in a joyless fundamentalist sect but escaped when I was 45 and built a different life. Nonetheless the negative overhang from those years have been very hard to shift so these stoic concepts have been both highly enlightening to me and also, more importantly, motivational, I am changing myself as a result, little by little I’m afraid as personality traits run deep. I’m now studying the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius on which this channel is largely based, I cannot recommend this work more highly to anyone perhaps in the twilight stage of life and still both seeking some clarifications and also willing to make any needed changes. You can buy the book easily, it is truly inspiring but I wouldn’t have found it save for this channel, thank you so much.
Matthew 10:16 NLT
“Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves. Jesus will save you.
It's difficult for empath to say no because we care so much about how others are feeling. This was a real eye opener.
"Stoicism is not a destination to reach; it's a path to walk, a philosophy of life to embody."
@jace It gets easy when you begin to work on your inner self. As he mentioned, when you give, don't expect anything in return. I have learned to say no and not feel guilty about it.
The kinder you are, the crueler you are to yourself. Nothing wrong with being kind but you need to choose carefully who you offer it to.
@dredgewalker I agree 💯. I've learned to be kind to myself.💕
@@positivevibe7684 We all learned and I was a bit of a fool when I was younger. My dad actually took a lot longer to figure it out especially how my brother and relatives took advantage of his kindness and that kindness cost him a lot of money and heartaches. Still it just shows that you are able to learn even when you grow old. I did learn not to be bitter about the people that took advantage of us but just cut them off from our lives.
I've come to a very stark realization in my life, is that some people will take advantage of my warm and caring nature and use me for their own gain and leave me with nothing. I was very naive to believe that others were like me and would do the right thing, I laugh at myself how foolish I was back then.
put simply: don't light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
there are folk like you but they are few and far between,and rarely cross paths so treat folk how they treat you,only help those that help you.
God is merciful even to his enemies, but he has limits to his unsurpassable patience.
I like that statement. Very profound. Have a good life, my friend.
I’m a recovering codependent too ❤
Perfectly said.
So simple, yet extremely enlightening! I should watch this every day for a month so it sinks in. ❤
God's mercy and grace are given to the undeserved even you and me.
Made me cry..... For 7 years been focus to help a person who in turn took advantage of me.... But finally i have the courage to refuse.... And distance myself from him..... Finally free and be myself again.... So this video made me tear up..., cause i havent realized what has happened to me.... But i finally be able to think for myself again
Be kind , be nice , and dont expect anything from anyone .
and don't do it if it hurts you
Your kindness will soon be forgotten, No good deed goes unpunished and The road to hell is paved with good intentions ... 3 things my friend and former employer told me regularly after i did him any favors or unexpected deeds. I thought he was joking , i learned the joke was on me..
' No good deed goes unpunished ', is right.
It doesn't pay to be nice to these dogs.
Give not that which is holy to dogs. Cast not your pearls( valuable things) before swine. Pigs are devils.
Totally agree . Kindness gains you nothing but problems and tons of heartache
I think it is more 'kindness with strings attached' that causes problems. If you give without expectations and within your means then that is genuine kindness. If you over give, then you need to examine your motives, because it is not kindness.
@@Jane_under_a_tree_with_a_book Naw, kindness causes nothing but problems. stay distant, stay uncaring, fab way to live
bro kindness feel awesome towards good people, why you find it bad about it?
No good deed goes unpunished @@Im-not-alone-Im-full-of-myself
@@winniethepoohandeeyore2It might work in the short run. Being distant and uncaring might help you avoid heartache in the short term. But you will lose friends. Family. You will not be able to form connections, and as a social species, it will become torture. Just the right amount of kindness brings fulfillment. It brings peace and warmth. Being distant and uncaring will make you isolated, depressed, without meaning. If you were hurt, i understand, its happened to me too. But that isnt any reason to forsake kindness.
Past experience has made me socially awkward and one of my biggest problems is always being too kind and getting shat on in return. I've always shared my possessions, money, food.... just found happiness in helping.
I've reached a point though where I've had it with ungrateful people or purely selfish people who only want you when you have things etc. It's taken a long time to realise what I was doing. I've now cut most people off I consider bad company and my head is on the right path I think. I feel stronger for it despite the low and lonely days.
ruclips.net/video/RGw7v81p1sk/видео.htmlsi=Gvz0Ampm5DCqEHkL
I feel exactly the same , though the low and lonely days are extremely painful ,too socially awkward now to even bother anymore 😔
There's a lot of people out there that feel that way. 🤕Listening to happy songs helps.😊@@vanessaharling1957
"Low and Lonely days". This is the part people don't talk about
You can make new friends. Keep on an even keel. No more giving them things . Just keep it social . Enjoy without too much investment.
It is very important to mind your business first. If you listen to everyone's problem, you will be sucked dry. Don't be over generous and don't be too much of a miser. Choose your friends carefully. Ignore foolish people and time wasters. Look out for people who only want something from you and don't care what happens to you!
I was just today discussing the importance of reciprocity or bust, & then this video pops up. The last few months, have decided to stop being a martyr, not doing anything for selfish one sided people, even family. I realize that my giving nature was part nature AND nurture (ie, grooming), & yes they see it as weakness. This will be my bible from now on. Subscribed.
My mother taught me to let people be how they wanted. She used her young brothers and sisters as examples. She was right. 😊
It's true! I helped everybody until I blew out my back. Then I gave away all my savings and now I have NOTHING and am hated for it all. Oh and now they deny ever needing any help from someone like me.
Why would you give away all your savings.....you only have yourself to blame really....very sad....because a lot of people are users
I always feel that people only remember what you didn’t do, not what you do!
I am sorry for that.
If only every one was kind and not useless and have to rely on the backs of others , I feel good comming home to nobody and by myself .
If everyone was kind all the time, an act of kindness would have no value.
@@jb-xc4ohduality, be bad so there can be good. good is not meant to breed bad, bad is to breed good. it is an important aspect to play the bad guy, just so the good can feel better. you are correct, but this is the full implication, that the bad is to breed the good.
calm and assertive. dont let them hit you, they dont say for nothing that one gets angry when cornered. when that feeling starts to fade away, a more free version is felt, "what have i done". the demon you are, or the ones you reflect on, are both helpless. you thought there was no separation between kindness and subassertivity, im telling you there is. assertivity. stay calm, say no really hard, but with a smile. that is the true way of strength, giving you the room at least to do good. strength is how love is born.
negative people need to exist for the good to be felt, never the other way around.
Yes, my father said this is what's wrong with me… too nice and too giving.
My father was right. I ended up broke as my family and the people I trusted stole everything from me including my dignity.
STOP BEING NICE!!!
im done being kind - I am a strong, logical person, its time to put my own needs first! I love my best friends. time to do exactly what I need to do to preserve myself and love myself and not deal with the bullshit
Balance is key to every aspect of life. Everything you look at, it comes down to that.
Don't let people trample on you, but don't abandon the ones that would help you back!
I agree, when I tired 40 was almost like a spiritual awakening. My taste in music shifted & mindset changed for the better. Thank you so much & stay true to yourself🤜🤛
Turning 40 for me was also a wake up call. Nothing prior to it would have changed me or my thinking. Now I can't be bothered to alter my own sense of peace to cater to others.
How did your taste in music change?
@@mellemellor Now that you mention it, it did change significantly. I stopped listening to such angry music and now listen to the more laid back tracks I would have normally skipped.
@@leviwhite3553 wow, ok. So maybe 40 for males is a significant age to grow & mature perhaps! Seems to happen more than what we hear about😎🤙
Sadly I don't find anything exciting no more. When I can do everything, suddenly I want nothing.
I believe kindness goes a long way. Being kind is satisfying to me and doesn't affect me in a negative way. In fact, it satisfies me in many ways. Happiness is within you, and kindness just goes hand in hand with who you truly are. You can put a limit on your generosity, especially if you notice people want to take advantage of you. You'll know when to say no.
The only reward you get from being kind is failure
@animatedsunday6481 Happiness is within you. No one is responsible for your happiness. When you feel you've failed, then you start being kind to the one who is most important, and that's you!! Detach from those who have made you feel you failed. I encourage you to do things for you,yourself and you only. Never give up.Do a new beginning,don't be hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself.
I learned something when I was a 7 year old boy, I was walking through town with my older brother (who is 5 years older and was much wiser than I was at the time). I saw a very distressed woman lying on the pavement crying, Looking back she was very drunk but I didn't understand this at the time. She put her arm for me to help her, I took her hand and tried to pull her to her feet but the harder I tried the more she went limp like she wanted me use what little strength I had to help her off the floor! My brother put his hand on my shoulder and said leave her alone she isn't intrested in helping herself just let her be. That was around a 10 second piece of my life 32 years ago that taught me a very valuable lesson.
I agree! People you helped want more & more until they no longer need you, and have never said thank you that was a wake up call for me; I only excepted “thank you.” However, I still believe in helping those who are less fortunate than me. 🙏🏼 🧘🏼♂️
Thank you. Excepted is the one and only, whereas accepted means taken in by the many.
Helping is your feel good good drug. Therefore use a 3/1 leverage tool.
3 acts for you, 1 act for “them”.
Then rotate your “thems”.
3 for you
1 for them
3 for you
1 for a different them
Repeat…
@@jasonbrown372 I think the OP meant to say 'expected'.
@@michaeld2519 I think you're illiterate or vain.
I've put people's woes on my shoulders while they've vented their problems and frustrations on me as if I was a god send.
It came to the point where I realized that I can't help them no longer.
I was drained by the drama.
I escaped my savior complex and focused on myself.
I appreciate how this video emphasizes the Stoic philosophy of self-awareness and self-discipline in giving. It reminds us to pay attention to our own feelings and set boundaries when necessary. Learning to say 'no' without guilt is a powerful lesson in maintaining our mental and emotional well-being.
Thanks so much for this message 🙏🏽 i have learned a lot from it, I’ve been putting people in front of me and helping them for years and they just keep putting me down. I’m taking care of me now. Thank you! ❤
Most important lesson!! To be self-care first!
Too much of anything isn't good but to say simply kindess will RUIN you is crazy. Kindness is needed all over the world, along with unity, love, and compassion.
Your someone who isn’t kind. As is other who clicked thumbs up on your comment.
If you were deeply kind you’d have been burned badly many times.
Then you’d need to learn to pull back and build bigger stronger boundaries while feeling sad you can’t give as much as you’d like to give…
That if you were truly kind, and since you don’t know this… your clearly delusional as you’d encourage giving people to give to much.
Maybe that’s simply your goal?
Truth.
BUT with so many ASSHOLES in the world it seems futile at times.
Have a millennial co worker who thinks he is Gods gift to the company. Still lives w his parents doesnt acknowledge hello or good morning..eventually I just began ignoring the prick and I'm good w the decision. Dont need or want to know anything about the kid more than I've learned.
Hope he enjoys the awkwardness
Yeah. Cra-zy
Kindness coupled with discernment is key!
I don't like how the presentation begins "put other people's needs ahead of our own. "
Most kind and compassionate do not help at expense of/detriment to themselves. Their compassion is evoked, then they ask a person what they can do to help, and it's generally that they can at some point take a little time to listen, console, give encouragement, lend a hand, etc.
Justice will prevail .
I like this comment
not always
I read a book called The Courage To Be Disliked. What a great book. If you are pleasing everyone and never saying no when you want to, you will live a life of anger, resentment, and frustration. Sending you all Positive Energy❤❤
Written by_____'s be damn careful!!
@@DJK-cq2uy ????
@@DJK-cq2uy😲😬 ___'s ?
OK I'll be careful 😰
because other say no when it come for your turn asking for help, and then anger, resentment, and frustration is what you get in return from your past kindness....😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
It was happening to me so much in America I decided to move to Thailand.. where I live a simple life a study Buddhism its teachings are very close to stoicism.. I'm at peace, I have a couple real friends im 55 years old were started with maybe hundreds of (friends) my wife and i we live in the village outside of Bangkok, simple, amazingly, peaceful, all the people that I helped all my life they don't talk to me anymore, even my family, not that I stopped talking to them, they just felt they couldn't get anything more from me....but at the end of the day Buddha said we're not alone... we are born alone, and we die alone! simple❤
❤
Family can be the worst manipulators and the most jealous of people. Nothing aggravates my family more than when I deem their behaviour unacceptable and go to ground. It incenses them because they imagine they should have power over me.
Ridiculous people!
1. 0:45 Too high of hopes - don't depend on other people, people will not do the same for you. reciprocity not met.
2. 2:00 People will only expect you to give something - balance is needed. people that you help expect you to give them something all the time.
3. 3:11 Your goals will not be taken into account - you need to be healthy and well off to be able to help others
4. 4:30 people will think you are weak - no limits makes you seem weak if you can't say no. saying no is needed for respect
5. ???
6. 6:20 You only get people that want something and never those who want to give - people gather around those that have a similar vibe. low vibe
7. 7:15 You could end up getting hooked on something - people that care about you want what is best for you.
8. 8:20 You'll make people think twice - do good things no matter what people think about us. not that many kind people. people will be suspicious of you.
1. 9:25 Plan one: pay attention to how you feel because it's telling you something - if something you don't have to do makes you feel bad you should have to lie about it.
2. 10:23 Plan two: don't be afraid of the word no - time and energy are important.
3. 11:11 Plan three: you have a time and a place for yourself - don't what you like or what gets you going. do your responsibilities first. when you have your time; you don't lend too much to others
4. 12:15 Plan four: identify energy vampires - helping them wont work. if there problems were solved; they'd have to stop complaining.
My thoughts: Build yourself up first! Kindness needs to be balanced in proportion of the strength you have to wield it or people may try to take advantage of you. Be able to say "no" when approaching your current reasonable limits. What people think about you doesn't matter if you are strong enough to be kind to others and stay healthy yourself. Be true to yourself and take breaks. People cannot be helped if they don't want to accept it. Let's give life our best! :)
Amazing thought❤
Thanks for your thoughts!! I was truly impressed and couldn't sleep until u imparted ur wisdom!😂😂😂🎉😂🎉😂🎉😂🎉😂 clown
@@DJK-cq2uy I'm glad I could put you at ease. I hope you continue to get your rest when you need it. =)
I wouldn’t say stop being kind. But definitely stop being kind to people that don’t deserve it (the entitleds, narcissists, sociopaths, etc.) and aren’t there for you when you need it. I’m kind to everyone, but I’m not a doormat. Not being kind will cause a domino effect of cruelty that will only make everyone’s life hell….including your own. We’re all connected.
Ive seen this in my own family. My dad was WAY too nice to his in-laws and I basically saw them use my dad endlessly. It was disgusting and it made me lose all respect for not only my grandparents, but also my mom, who didnt tell her own parents that if they wanted to visit us, they needed to be respectful to everyone in our house. Plus, as I got older, I learned who my grandparents truly were bc their pasts were coming up to surface, which made me realize my own parents should have never let them around me or my younger brother bc of the information I learned about them. All I could do was cut contact with them, even when my own family would pretend they never heard that info and would still spend time with them. I have a great memory and I never forget the people that wanted to try and ruin me or try to force me to do something else as a career instead of being a songwriter and solo artist...ive been a musician since age 5. You cant take the music out of the musician. Its in the blood at this point =)
Be strong, God help you.
Your personal experience highlights the importance of boundaries and discernment when it comes to relationships, even within families. It's essential to protect your own well-being and values, especially when faced with situations where boundaries are crossed or when you feel others are trying to steer you away from your true calling. Your dedication to your passion for music is admirable, and staying true to your path is a reflection of your inner strength. Keep pursuing your dreams and staying true to yourself. 🎵🌟👏
People take advantage of kindnes THE END ...... and I approve this message
Matthew 10:16 NLT
“Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves
Being a natural empath. This is something that I’ve been working on for years. Great video
An empath would never say that they want to stop feeling all feelings. 🙃
@@chelseacraft4669 actually that’s not true. But I always expect someone to not like my comment. Literally because I’m a empath… by nature. So thanks for you opinion. Because we all have one. Kinda like butt holes….
I found this only works on friends. this doesn't work on people that have a disrespect of kind people.
Ehhh I'm a narcacist, and I always am the one who gives to people in need first. But it's usually a selfish reason firstly because life's transactional to me in my mind and its a favour stored. And secondly because while alot will just leave and not pay you back or come back and ask again (at which point it's a no). But then it is also the best way to meeet the most reliable people that are trustworthy. Worth a few losses in my mind.
:)
I have been a habitual giver. This is so true. The more you are kind the less people see you and the more they see a weak person. Never has a therapist said this to me, stop being nice, genoruse, giving. Yet it is the one thing I needed to hear decades ago. I am so glad I found this site. To my Northern brothers and sisters I say THANK YOU!
This video is helping me out tremendously! Because I give and give and give and don't get anything back. I've given away houses, cars $$$and they just keep coming back wanting more. Now that I'm getting old and need help,,, it's not there. No More Mr Nice Guy! Or at least not as nice.
It's hard to be kind in a sea of sharks, especially at work. Generally, ppl are always out for themselves. One thing I've learned, being too nice, is an invitation for those to walk all over you. If you say " no" & they can't respect this, they don't deserve your kindness or energy & let them find someone else to feed on.
It's hard to be kind in a sea of sharks - great line that is
Matthew 10:16 NLT
“Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves. Jesus will save you.
It's okay to be selfish because if you don't learn to be, people will take advantage of you and try to bleed you dry if they can. Don't feel guilty as standing up and being selfish doesn't make you seem mean and evil. Been there. If I had learned this early on, I still wouldn't be having trust issues to this day.
Don't be kind. It'll only get you hurt. I've lived long enough to experience this. Stoics are the best people around.
"There ain't enought kindness in this world, thats for sure..."
That's what the wicked devour
I love these videos because it states what I thought, but couldn't put into words myself.
I thought there was something wrong with me until i watched these videos, thank you to whoever posted these words of wisdom.
The weird thing is, I feel like I somehow already knew most of these principles, but actively worked against them anyway.
I was taught as a kid that valuing your self primarily was profoundly selfish & entitled.
But now I realize that most of the times I prioritized others my motives were not noble and actually driven by selfish needs. My thoughtless service for them was actively evoking their worst attributes.
@@NextLineIsMinewow, that was profound. Especially that last part. Very good point. Are we sometimes kind or do for others because we want something out of it. A hidden motive of sorts. Such a good point.
you got a martyr-parent too bud?@@sandrabentley8111
As a female stoic I really needed to hear this. I was raised to put others before myself and always think of others. My male family was not raised the same.
if you don't mind may I know if you're eldest, second etc in your family?
@@jaysphere7519 middle child with only brothers
As a female, I wonder why all the old men in statue form have to illustrate this fantastic advice, seeing as it's usually women who are socialised into being too kind.
Oh sweety
This is not reddit....you wont get men sim--Ping for you here....
@@apocratos0174 ☺️☺️☺️
The best kind of giving and care is where you do for people who are not in a position to give back. Expect nothing when giving. And your soul will be at peace with God and the world
far to many uncaring people mistake kindness for stupidity or weakness that is why i like to lock myself inside my little buble and keep away and I am so very blessed to have found the love of my life who gets this about me and does not feel insulted or wonder what is wrong when i need to find something to amuse myself and focus my head again such as the fossicing or just enjoying the rainforrest wildlife that follow me around. How blessed I am to have this gift with befriending a wild animal but also my hubby and our beautiful patch of paadise in far north queensland
People pleasing is never healthy for self….. learned that, and feel so happy with myself that boundaries is a respectable way to say no ❤❤❤❤
Setting healthy boundaries and respecting yourself is an important part of mental health and overall wellbeing. People pleasing can often be a result of low self-esteem, and it can lead to feelings of anxiety, stress, resentment, and unhappiness. Saying "No" to requests or demands that you don't feel comfortable with can be a helpful step in advocating for yourself and protecting your own well-being. Learning to set boundaries and say "No" is a sign of emotional and psychological growth.
I was so ready to come in here and be like "stop being kind??? Wtf...nah man, being kind is everything" but i stand corrected.
(The title is a bit misleading)
There does need to be balance, otherwise some people will suck you dry.
And we should always put ourselves first - we cant pour into others cups if our own cups are empty.
No, you had it right the first time. Stoicism is feeling nothing… Total apathy. Look it up if you don’t believe me. This channel promotes complete apathy, which is impossible for people with a healthy amygdala. Which is most of us. The problem is that people with mental illnesses often think their mental illness is a new revolutionary advancement for humanity. They think if everybody could just stop feeling emotions like they do the world would be such a better place to live in because they are annoyed by everyone’s emotions all around them all the time, when they don’t feel any emotions and they think it’s a waste of time to have any emotions. So they make silly attempts at telling the world that everyone should turn off their emotions and be like they are. But all you have to do is look up what stoicism is… Especially in an abnormal psychology textbook. Stoicism is a symptom of quite a few really bad mental disorders. It’s not a good thing.
@@chelseacraft4669 I don't subscribe to stoicism but I have to disagree. Stoicism doesn't seem to be complete apathy, I think nihilism is closer to complete apathy than stoicism. Some of my favorite stoics in literature aren't apathetic, they simply live by a code and won't let others shake them off that path.
@@ReiseLukas that’s not how the amygdala works. That’s not what the video says. That’s not what all of this channels videos keeps saying. In fact, because you have a normal amygdala and can feel a normal range of human emotions, you just think they are implying that they differentiate between certain people and that they feel a normal ranges of human emotions like a normal person , but they repress them in certain situations. I assure you that’s not what they’re describing at all. Watch some more of their videos and you’ll get the idea. It’s 100% apathy and it means never extend kindness to anyone because it’s not profitable to you. They believe kindness is a transaction that is an investment and that you should have a return which is a profit on that investment. Otherwise kindness is worthless because all emotions are weaknesses. That is the normalization of antisocial personality disorder in the guise of a spiritual movement that’s touted to be some revolutionary advancement of human evolution. However having amygdala dysfunction is a physical brain damage and can’t be equivalent to some superior spiritual, enlightenment or evolutionary leap forward. It’s literally a leap backward.
Being kind can put you in so much trouble I know that for sure. I ended up with a lot of anger and sadness for being kind to others now I hate people.
I am not weak anymore, life taught me to be this way. I say no , no directly, but I let them know in a different way.
Life presents us with opportunities to be kind. Wether its a donation of money or other tangible resource, or just a timely kind word to someone in doubt, kind deeds don't necessarily need to cost us anything. But generally it is most practical to give something that i have plenty of to a recipient who can make greater use of that thing (in my case that means things other than money!)
For example, it is raining and a friend needs to travel somewhere and maybe has a heavy bag. I have a car and some free time. By offering a lift to that friend I might use an hour of my free time and a little bit of fuel- but, I will save my friend hours of inconvenience on public transport wet from the rain and tired from hauling the heavy bag.
This is efficient & affordable kindness; the recipient gains more from the kind deed than the donor expends.
I totally agree with you
And yet stoicism means never being kind according to this video.
@@chelseacraft4669
You're going around spreading lies and misinformation.
I've learnt the hard way about not being too kind, I've been abused, used, shat on for most of my life and now I'm bitter and resentful thanks to people repaying my kindness with a vile attitude towards me 😡
You’re not alone there buddy. Sadly.
Life is really fkn tough at times and then it can get even harder and worse for us- more than not this is the reality. Our conscience beats us up all on it’s own too- like we need that 😂
I’m 52 now and learned this lesson the hard way and still learning it as n when. If you can free your mind from your existence just for an hour here and there you will find some peace and solice where you can believe in yourself as only you know how much of a good person you are and how much of a hero is in that big ❤ of yours.
I know I have the biggest of hearts- just not met someone who’s noticed. 52, its over for me and I probably will be one of those people who are on their own while getting older. Its a bit of a choker to start to realise it may be so for you i must admit. So hang on to what you got people because it’s worth fighting for and better than being alone. Crimbos birthdays nye alone is tough plus rest of the year to contend with 😂
So suit the fk up yh cause this ain’t no rehearsal and EVERYTHING is at stake.
Be kind
Be loving
Be loyal
Be honest
Be yourself
Be happy and when you are own it because things change and we’re a long time dead- so that’s a few changes.
Take it from a 52 year old one of the lads type man.
You have been warned ❤❤❤
@@iiihhh7257 Why do people take advantage of kindness and repay with the opposite?
I have lost all trust in human nature and I don't think I will ever get it back.
I have my Son (even though he's 36 we are very close) my cats, my hobbies and just take each day as it comes.
You're only 52 please don't give up hope of finding someone to be with, it will happen when you least expect it. There could be a lot more to your story as there is to mine 😢
Chin up
I'm truly sorry to hear that you've had negative experiences where your kindness was taken advantage of and mistreated. It's understandable to feel bitter and resentful when faced with such situations. It's important to remember that while it's essential to be kind, it's equally important to set boundaries and protect your own well-being. Stoicism encourages us to find a balanced approach that combines kindness with wisdom and self-care. Seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can be helpful in coping with these emotions and finding a path towards healing and resilience. 🤗🌟🌻
It can be difficult to maintain a positive attitude when you've experienced so much abuse, mistreatment, and disrespect from others. It's normal to feel bitter and resentful, and it's important to recognize that your feelings are valid. However, don't let your past experiences with people determine your attitude towards others in the present. Each person is deserving of kindness and respect, regardless of how they have treated you. It's important to approach each new interaction with an open mind and to be genuine and compassionate. Try to put aside your bitterness and resentment and choose kindness even when it's hard.
Receive freely.... give freely...❤
and know your boundaries!!!😊
Knowledge is power❤
"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." - Marcus Aurelius
Knowledge is illusory.....!!
APPLIED knowledge is power. Plain knowledge is just entertainment.
The you were really loved the knowledge you can get by opening an abnormal psychology, book and learning what stoicism is.
@@TAGtalkinaboutGod That is even more true. Ultimately things are what they are. (not what we make of them). a good coutner argument to those who do structurise/label things. things can only be what you make of them. (and that rly is the ultimate truth), things are not knowledge. they are grey. (infinite complexity within).
I finally said no to someone earlier this day before I've seen this video and was wondering at first if I did the right thing; but seeing this video, made me understand I did the right thing, thank you.
As these videos have said before, your time is the most valuable thing you have. Put simply I dont have time wasting My time by using Me for something, if I dont feel they are the type who will return a favour or pay Me for what I do then I'm not interested.
no It is far more valuable than that. it is I believe the ultimate valuable thing. Time is EVERYTHING. consider that you requires knowledge for situations that require it. then you will see that life is in fact a 'time-trial'. A time-trial that must be completed within its time-frame. not attending goals could mean/spell a personal disaster for you. knowledge/education is also on this 'TIme-Frame'. When you don't acquire the right-logic in time, could spell doom. sometimes pieces of knowledge you know (even few) can be difference of a worse/better fate (sometimes worst fate) for yourself. the Dial is counting down on every piece of information you don't know. for Time is knowledge. but knowledge is also about making right decision for knowledge. it is not all related to personal hard work/endeavour. but reasoning for things (why your here to begin with). but also other element that we only get ONE life. (and I don't say that lightly). that means ONE LIFE to get it RIGHT, don't screw it up, make less mistakes if can. I want you to repeat that to yourself (ONE-LIFE, ONE-LIFE, ONE-LIFE, I want it to 'Echo' in your dreams). I hope 'that' (ONE) has SUNK in.. some don't even get a life. so be greatful of every milisecond you have. realize what you have, (functioning body, functioning lungs, ability to speak, functioning legs, functioning arms, Health/healthy).
They will make you feel guilty for putting up reasonable boundaries.
that's another thing.. boundaries don't always work. On ideal world they would. But in actuality. Their less than that. Boundaries are just one prong along the road. However what it does do. Is it alleviates you of responsibility later on.
Still learning this fr. You can be caring, kind, nice….but definitely learn & use the word “NO”. You DO NOT have to be someone else’s doormat. Godspeed reader🙏🏻💝
Yes, I need to stop being too kind, people just take advantage of me!
Please don't let them 🙏
You don’t have to put other people’s needs ahead of our own to be kind.
Though, I must confess I’m guilty to have done it in the past.
✨
me two leydy! and attracted so many wrong people.
The world is too chaotic for everything to be set in stone, sometimes being kind will lead to a beneficial outcome, other times being kind will punish you. My advice is listen to your heart, follow your intuition and strengthen your sense of self. Don't shut your eyes from reality, but don't be discouraged and easily bow down to it when you open your eyes either
I have found that being a cold blooded monster has led me to more succeess than any other single factor
I won't change who I am because I know I'll be going to somewhere else far better through my actions, whether the consequences are severe that I receive from being kind to another human being.