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The truth is stranger than fiction it’s obvious and just plain common sense and real street smart and energy and vibration and spiritual universe and true spirit with discernment…..it’s true most women hid the past don’t believe ask a strange women who is brutally honest that has nothing to gain or lose….remember don’t freak out be humble with spirit….we live in a new environment and time and seasons and change(technology)period, you can’t change freewill if you think you do then your better the Creator and master of the universe…….Tarzan lord of the street jungle🤖……got to remember WOMEN had a sexual life and tastes of other men and women before you came along stud, and now along came Polly😈……more you live in past you’ll never grow and learn of one’s stuck spirit,it will be one’s lost soul and that’s we’re you don’t want to be period…….can you make a hole into a house wifey, think stud it’s not a challenge period, why eventually you will lose but secretly a fact……but you can’t change privileges of arrogance and ignorance no pun intended 🙏🏼……the key of life is BALANCE……if you can’t find balance in you you can not find balance in others and life and spirit and environment and people and boundaries and animals and the Creator and universe so find it and be humble😊🙏🏼……
If you see red flags at the beginning of a relationship like the girl being a single mom, toxic ex bf, having guy friends, covered in tattoos, and cussing like a sailor. And decide to continue dating her. Don't be surprised when you end up falling in love, spending a bunch of time, energy, money and by the end of it getting your heart ripped out of your chest looking like a complete tool.
Yep it’s absolutely clown behavior. My friend is engaged to a baby mama with 2 kids from 2 different baby daddies. She was raised by a single mom. She’s a master manipulator an has him paying for everything
@@luisfabiano2563 it's so easy to get caught up with these kinds of women as they fuck with your head. Especially if they are smoking hot and the sex is good. It never ends well for the poor soul who yearns for love and family.
@@jasonreed2116 You're missing the point of this comment Jason. The main idea is to be true to your instincts. What may seem controlling in today's society is actually what women need in their relationship. They want someone who who can lead them and not be steered away despite what mainstream media/disney has taught them. If you continue staying in your frame then you have no reason to worry about the concern you have.
That really depends on the case because if man acts "normally", woman saying "you're too controlling" is for me at least big red flag saying she's so free spirited she has no rules for relationships or she changes them on dime depending on the day.
I had this recently happen a few weeks ago with my current gf. Found out that 2 guys she used to work with started chatting her up and told her exactly what Rich says and at first she was pissed and said that I was to controlling and insecure. Fast forward a month and it's almost as if a switch flicked and she leveled up the submissiveness. On a side note, the 2 dude were obese, heavy drinkers/smokers and broke, so nothing would have come from it anyway but it's still a deal breaker regardless.
I don’t even feel sorry for those guys anymore. She’s asserting control over him. He obviously already made it know he doesn’t want them to be friends with the ex F friend. He has no value.
You hit the nail on the head. If you can't stand up for yourself and your morals and values, then all the grief and heartache you get as a result of that are logical consequences for behaving like a pussy.
“You are insecure” no, she is insecure. She’s keeping half ass options available, back up plans. She’s got no confidence in her choices. That’s insecure.
He should have never allowed her to be friends with him if they were going to date. Men should not allow their woman to continue to interact with men they have slept with(and if she has or wants to, thats a huge red flag). Just another case of "Men complicate their lives and justify why."
I had a GF more than 30 years ago. She had 3 ex-boyfriends before me. She would let them call her and come over and see her whenever they wanted. That is very disrespectful to the person who you are currently with. I broke up with her because of that. When I ended it, she had the nerve to tell me that I needed to grow up.
One of the hardest things for a guy to foresee entering an LTR is what excuse she'll come up with regarding her actions (past, present, or future). In this case, it is a "friends with benefits", but it could be anything. Chicks are very inventive when justifying their flaws or wrong decisions. As Rich pointed out if this particular dude had been firm about not accepting this awkward situation eight months ago, he would have been dumped in a heartbeat himself. During that period of time, she firmly established a grip on his emotions, and she got the upper hand in the relationship. This is no longer repairable, unfortunately. The solution: Ditch the bitch!
Let's be honest, she couldn't care less whether this dude accepted the Fwb or not either now or at the start. Chad's obviously still banging her plus his own girl.!
If she's a FWB girl case closed. That's what she's about, that's what she's for, and that's what she _is_. The very obvious issue here is your lack of options and clinging to her to avoid being lonely.
That’s what I’m saying these guys can’t even see the red flags before they start dating the bitch. Any woman who was involved in hook up culture should be an immediate smash and dash if not dash lol.
Had a similar situation where the last girl I was seeing was “just friends” with a guy from her school (bear in mind we were both in our mid 20’s). She had some weird “cinema trip” with him and his little cousin or some BS, at least that’s what I was told, and in hindsight l should’ve been much firmer on not letting that situation happen. And then one night while she was round my place, he rang her out the blue at like 9pm and she immediately had to say she was with me before continuing to speak to him for 20 minutes or so. That was the end for me, my desire for her absolutely plummeted and I dumped her soon after. I could’ve / should’ve addressed it all much sooner but you live and learn. I won’t be so tolerant in future
Listen to your gut . Bottom line & you hit the nail on the head ; " why does she want to be so close to the former F-buddy ; unless she wants to get back with him ? " . The guy needs to send her to the curb .
I've kinda been on the other side of this, I was the FWB guy. After dating for a couple of weeks, the new boyfriend told her he wasn't comfortable that she was still in contact with me, and he wouldn't continue dating her unless she cut contact. She told me this via text, and she said goodbye. A year or so later a mutual friend told me they're now married. If that guy hadn't stood his ground, the first big argument they had, I guarantee she would've been in my bed the next night (because that happened with a previous boyfriend).
I had a woman (younger than I am) try this, and just said so I guess we are FWB, she didn't like that. I subscribe to the theory when it comes to guy friends " A shoulder to cry on, is a c*ck to ride on."
Ya normal women can't have sex without creating an emotional connection. Its a chemical reaction in their brains during sex that men dont have in the same way. The women that are able to have emotionless sex, are the ones you dont want to be with bc they typically have mental issues.
Can’t tell you how many women I’ve sent on their way because of this. They don’t understand why a man is uncomfortable with his girl keeping company with other men.
Right on point yet again Rich. My wife or gfriend hanging out with her ex-FWB?!?…. GTFOH! FFS! Some of these men need to reach down and make sure they still have their balls. IDGAF if they initially made an agreement, amend it!
I had a situation where an exe stated her intention to meet a guy friend for a coffee. I made it clear if she proceeded with her plan then it would be game over . I don't regret in the slightest I held frame rather than being the cool boyfriend who kept quiet, but was unhappy inside.
That's her standby guy, the one she'll go to when you fight or when you break up. Nothing you can really do about it, even if she says she'll stop hanging out with him she most likely won't, and if she does she'll keep his number.
Being an old guy who had a lot of issues to deal with in life, and finally getting to the point where I would like a relationship, I find that the women today are really a mess. And I am not sure I can deal with them. Wish my head was clear when I was late teens / early 20s to find a real partner. Like I said, I've had a lot to deal with.
@Farmer Nate "wish I wifed up a girl in highschool" Are you siriouse? Do you have any idea how not only unrealistic but also incredibly risky and foolish that would be? How could you possibly be a good judge of character as a teenager/child. The amount of personal change that happens from a women's teen years to adulthood is huge. The chance of her falling out of love, getting bored and wondering if the grass is greener on the otherside is almost guaranteed. And the same would apply to you. Your best chance is to mature as a man, find out what you do or do not like in women and learn from your failures and mistakes. Focus on yourself and when you build yourself up to become a high value man you will attract high value women.
Rich, another epic take! After my kids mom bailed when they were 8 and 10 (my son stayed with me), I was duped twice by women when I was more worried about loosing them, than setting boundaries. My boundaries now are like East Berlin in the ‘60’s, thus I see them as recreational items, unless proven otherwise.
LOL, it was West Berlin, that was surounded with a wall... East Berlin was open to the DDR😂 Maybe you should overthink your boundaries and adapt them more like West Berlin😎
@@peterkoch3777 but the wall was erected by the East. Maybe his boundaries are going up around each woman leaving him free to roam....and checkpoint Charlie is only used on a play/no play basis.
So true that your biology will over ride your faulty logic. I've had a few girlfriends where my thoughts went "it's fine, it's normal, get over it, accept who she is" etc. But my gut made me utterly miserable until I got away from them. I now know that once I get that feeling it will never work, my instincts are telling me to stay away, and trying to fight it is futile and painful.
This comment is very relatable. I just walked out of a 4 year on and off relationship. The whole should've, would've, could've keeps going through my head. But at the end of the day I need to take my losses, grow a pair and learn from this monumental mistake and do exactly what you stated and that's listen to my gut from the get go.
And you are telling yourself "I'm not perfect either", and you accept/try to accept her flaws. It is getting worse and at the end of the day you find out she's completely crazy. And you will tell yourself: damn I should have listened to my gut! That is no problem, as long as you have no kids together and you leave her definately and you WONT do the same mistake with the new girl again. Everybody makes mistakes. But LEARN from them!
I got the "you are being too controlling" from my lady for 17 years. It turned out to be a useful tactic in her favor. Till I was able to confirm she cheated on me. I laid down the rules and things where good for me, for a couple years. She just keeps going back to her ways and seeing what she can get away with.
I’m that guy. Had a fwb in hs for a couple years, an once that ended she treated it like a legit breakup. Fast forward 2 years later an she’s in a relationship with a guy. I didn’t know this at the time until she told me when we were out to coffee one day. I wondered if her current bf knew she was out to coffee with her first love/fwb. That thought was always in the back of my mind. She was bragging how he drove fancy cars an did well for himself. But I could tell she was still not over me. If I were that guy an I found out I’d break up and be pissed
Hey brother, I needed this. I put my foot down when she wanted to do lunch with her ex-lover fire fighter. I walked away, but she returned the next day and said she wanted to be with me and wouldn't see him. Problem solved. I did get the controlling and insecure bullshit, and thanks to you, I set her straight on that crap. Kudos. But then, after about 6 months and Covid restrictions relaxed, she told me she would have a WEEK-LONG trip to Iceland with her girlfriends. Of course, it morphed into guys going as well... This was after missing my birthday weekend by going to her college event with girlfriends. I was still unsure about these, but as you said, my DNA was screaming that this was NOT right. The final straw was a text that said, "Just a heads up, I am going to Atlantic City for the weekend with my girlfriends." I had had enough. I told her it was unacceptable, and we broke up, and the door is locked now, won't be taking her back. This video was the first time (you have probably said it before) that girls' weekends are a no go too. Thank you for the validation. I really, really needed that. I am auditioning for bands again as a bass player and getting that part of my life back that she couldn't deal with... feels good to be back on track. I seek my fortune. Peace. P.S. Now that I am focused on myself again and my finances, I'll soon let you know what color my McClaren is.
No matter how wonderful I think she is if maintaining a relationship with an old FWB means that much to her I don't think I could stay with her. I have too much self-respect and I don't want to always be wondering
If he put his foot down in beginning odds are she would've call him "controlling" to his face and to her friends, and gotten back on dating apps to find another sucker.
If a woman requires to have or chooses to have an ex lover around, she is not trustworthy in the first place. I would never disrespect my woman by keeping one of my ex lovers as friends. Whether or not, he asked her to do it, if she respected or loved him, she would cut the man off. I have a hard and fast boundary even now. If a woman wants my commitment, she must get rid of all male friends and there will not be any girls trips or girls nights out. I am upfront about this from day one that any woman asks for a relationship. Accept it and we can have a relationship or decline and we can keep it casual or not at all. I love my freedom, I love not having to share my income, I love being able to date multiple women. If a woman wants my commitment, she will respect my boundaries. I make well into the six figure range and I love being single. If a woman wants my monogamy it comes with a price. The woman I am with now had to make this decision. She decided she would do it. If she changes her mind later, that's fine and I will dump her. I have no problem getting women and dating casually.
This happened to me back when I was dating a few times. I would simply tell them that’s great because I also have a couple of former FWB I would love to hang out with…. Immediate change in their stance 😂
It's just a no. Don't accept it. If she wants to keep doing it, that's fine but it means breaking up. Only being with her for like 8 months... let's be realistic, that's not really that long. So don't think you've invested in some long-term thing, something better is out there. Staying with this chick and feeling sick is worse than being single. Better to be single
I had a similar situation she said all of her exes were her "guy friends" and that they had done stuff in the passed but she kept them in her life after, when I pressed her on how much she had done she never disclosed it openly and basically dodged the question. For any guy out there if it seems sus 9/10 times it is only reason a hotel would be trying to hide her past (and present) is if she knows it will affect the way you see her her actions always speak louder than her words the sooner you see the signs the less time you'll be wasting
My 2 cents based on my experience... The dude needs to leave her. The sooner the better. You are objectively right on everything you have said. Keeping FWBs/EX's/ Very close dude friends around is just a way o having options and opportunities for the next best thing/ level up. And this should be applied regardless of the length of the relationship. OR... Put your foot down firmly (not aggressively) and set the rules. That "Game" is long lost.
Before I met my wife, I was thirty six years old and had three steady women I was dating and they all knew about each other. I would just tell them at the start that I wasn't looking for a serious relationship just fun. They'd tell me they weren't interested in a long term either and there was no problem until one started to act squirrely, I got rid of her and then there were two. Date as many as you can on your terms and treat them with the same respect you'd want to be treated with. Enjoy your youth, looks, and social life and most importantly that real freedom while its there. The right ine will come along when you're not looking for her. Good luck out there Gentlemen and a happy new year to all.
It’s over. He just doesn’t realise it … yet. Jealousy and justifiable paranoia will consume him. Either he relegates her to recreational use only or simply next’s her is up to him. He’s set himself up for a world of pain by entering her frame.
"my gf is still friends with an ex fwb".... ya she would have never made it to gf stage with me and that's the issue here. This guy sounds passive, and if it wouldn't be a problem for her to cut him off at the beginning of the relationship why hasn't she done it? Stop being passive, say what you want when dealing with women, if they call you controlling laugh at them and move on or keep them as a casual fling at best. One thing about me is women I have dated or been with will never say I was passive. My current gf even commented how she likes how assertive I am in all aspects of my life. I dont understand how guys dont realize how turned on women get when a guy actually is assertive and goes after what he wants. When we had "the talk" about what our relationship is, some things I mentioned where "no ex's or any kind, no hes like a brother to me type guys, no work husbands, etc." She didn't have any of these to begin with or i wouldn't have even considered a relationship with her, but i let her know they were deal breakers whether it happens a week from now or if we are together 30 years from now.
His GF only hangs out with the FWB when the other GF is present because they 3-way... and since the other girl is involved its not cheating if he accidentally drops it in.
You know if a woman is loyal if she shuts out all past men. My wife did that. It’s been 24 years now. No woman you are dating should have a male friend.
Still hanging with a friends with benefits. Wait until she says she's going over to hang with him (and his girlfriend, yeah right) and just say. You know I'm uncomfortable with this. I'm going to need you to show me how much you really care about my feelings. If you go over to hang out your showing me you really don't care how it makes me feel. That show's you don't respect me and that show's me you don't really care about me. So show me where I am at. If she stays you know she cares for you, if she walks you know it's time to leave. That simple. But tolerating something that bothers you is not good for you.
For goodness sake be a man.... "I'm uncomfortable with this". Talk about limp wristed weakness. People can handle being "uncomfortable", so you are telling her she can go ahead, because being uncomfortable is pretty minor, makes it easy for her to justify it in her head... "oh we are just friends now", "his gf will be there so no problem". Curiously, she doesn't explain why she has to have chaperones present when seeing her fwb. That in it's self tells her state of mind towards the guy. You are not "uncomfortable" with her behaviour.... you are intolerant and thus her continued behaviour will result in you withdrawing your relationship with her.
No explanation. She knows what she's doing. Your feelings doesn't mean crap. No commitment if there are other dude's in the picture. Period. She goes into FWB. Your free to F anyone else.
One glaring mistake at 1:05 ... Men don't just care about their woman's fidelity when it comes to sccual intimacy. Men care about fidelity in all forms of physical intimacy. The large majority of men in committed relationships would be concerned if he found out that his woman was flirting with another man and/or making out with another man.
From movie HEAT. "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner." You never get attached until you check all is fine,
I would advice him to demote, and start spinning plates with other girls keeping her as fuck buddy (but without telling her, she did'nt care about him, he should care about her), until find better quality woman, but if the kid is already attached, yeah, then dump her. Save you pain. Don't complicate your life. And it's only 8 months, that's not a relationship. She doesn't love him.
I got out of a relationship when my EX wanted to play golf with a male co-worker(male) and 2 of his friends. She can't hit the ball 100 yards. Now why would they want her along???
I wouldn't continue, even if I had condoned it in the beginning. He clearly regrets not setting the boundaries at that time and now she is setting them! This is unlikely to end well, their dynamic is subject to change and that's just problems later on. May as well sack her now and be done with it. Lesson learnt!
100% agree - being a "friend" with your GF former FWB is beyond my comprehension, I myself wouldn't even be in a relationship whit a woman who has any contact with a former FWB... I wouldn't be in a relationship whit a woman who was in FWB situation...
My brother's, I'm 57. I knew I was Always a potential 2nd or 3rd place prize in any relationship I was in. Always keep this mindset and alway be ready to just walk and not talk.
Agreed. Had he talked to her about it at the beginning it would have been better, but she still wound have found her hypergamous reasons to keep the other dude around.
I had this exact situation started a relationship told her she had to cut off all ex FWB and orbiters and she told me she wouldn’t do it … so I dumped her… they will not accept you limiting their options and will manufacture situations to push the boundaries further and further … oh my car broke down so he gave me a lift to work … etc Meanwhile they tearing up the sheets while you at work … literally… Run and don’t look back although it’s hard as damaged women are absolutely the best sex you will ever have. Even if she tells you that you gave her the best sex of her life … she will still test how far she can push and what she can get away with….
"Due to her and his girlfriend becoming close friends she feels she can't. " Nope. They could do lunches, brunches, dinners, movie nights, etc. None of these things require the ex to be there and she could maintain the friendship. He's only a part of anything because she wants him to be around.
One of the best pieces of relationship advice I ever got was pretty simple: Men give love for sex, and women give sex for love. If you can deal with that, great.
Sounds way too complex You can't go on living like this . Better off being alone , getting over the breakup and moving on. Be kind to yourself and work on you . Be strong friend.
It never ceases to amaze me the situations some guys get into. You have to be clear that exes, guy friends blah blah are all hard stops. Otherwise you will be made to look like a mug. Women want the best of both worlds and maximise their guy attention
Only way not to fall into this trap is to have options bro. When you have options you won’t put up with sh*t like this. When she sees this in you, you will be the FWB 😉
So she’s not allowed to have friends but you’re allowed to keep your options open? What logic is this 😂 that solves nothing than two people with commitment issues wasting each others time.
Richie cooper , u are a fucking legend when it comes to male fools and female tools…ur advise , wisdom and knowledge of women is 100% spot on …I was a bit of a player meself after my separation and I can see straight through all these women that play idiot men for fools . Love ur channel mate , ur doing and providing a great service for all the guys out there .
This whole scenario sounds like the biggest load of BS. If she truly valued him, it wouldn’t have mattered at what point in the relationship her boyfriend realized that the past FWB is still in her life. She would cut the FWB off at any point that it makes her boyfriend uncomfortable if he were her top priority. I’d even go as far to say that he’s within bounds to prohibit male “friends” just on the basis she entertained a FWB situation in the past alone. She showed her lack of personal boundaries and that she cannot be trusted.
I wish I was showing this before when I was younger but better late than never but once I unplugged the matrix. Now the world is different, the blinders or off. I have the a similar situation at home and I use to lose my mind but after learning and applying it. Wow. I keep a level head and not react. I point blank tell her look, he is lying to you he as feelings for you. No more, and I walked away to the other room, the her behavior has changed. This stuff is life changing.
ALWAYS make certain she knows where the door is. Uncertainty is power and value to females. Make lines clear, then leave and stay gone if she crosses any.
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The truth is stranger than fiction it’s obvious and just plain common sense and real street smart and energy and vibration and spiritual universe and true spirit with discernment…..it’s true most women hid the past don’t believe ask a strange women who is brutally honest that has nothing to gain or lose….remember don’t freak out be humble with spirit….we live in a new environment and time and seasons and change(technology)period, you can’t change freewill if you think you do then your better the Creator and master of the universe…….Tarzan lord of the street jungle🤖……got to remember WOMEN had a sexual life and tastes of other men and women before you came along stud, and now along came Polly😈……more you live in past you’ll never grow and learn of one’s stuck spirit,it will be one’s lost soul and that’s we’re you don’t want to be period…….can you make a hole into a house wifey, think stud it’s not a challenge period, why eventually you will lose but secretly a fact……but you can’t change privileges of arrogance and ignorance no pun intended 🙏🏼……the key of life is BALANCE……if you can’t find balance in you you can not find balance in others and life and spirit and environment and people and boundaries and animals and the Creator and universe so find it and be humble😊🙏🏼……
Hey. I’ve been enjoying your videos/podcasts. Seeing you in the sports car makes me miss my Nissan GTR 😢
She’s for the streets. Recreational use only. Focus on yourself, fam.
100% she's still hooking up with him and maybe even him and his current gf.......
its really that simple, being friends with a guy she used to sleep with is crazy
Can you love her enjoy her while using her as recreational?
@@smartwater598 Recreational use women are like alcohol. If you can’t use it without losing yourself, then it’s best to not use at all.
Women will even invite Chad to the wedding. Let that sink inn.
Once friend with Benefits, always FWB. He is a backup plan. She's for the streets.
Rezources
He is the guy that will smash and not commit to her and that is why she is coming back for more.😇
This sounds like one of those Gen Z relationships where both have no idea how an actual relationship works anymore.
Amen!
LOL - Boomer here, I had this figured out by 7th grade. I think smartphones have dumbed down society.
@@georgevue8175 Maybe but its more the fault of the hookup culture which is insane now.
If you see red flags at the beginning of a relationship like the girl being a single mom, toxic ex bf, having guy friends, covered in tattoos, and cussing like a sailor. And decide to continue dating her. Don't be surprised when you end up falling in love, spending a bunch of time, energy, money and by the end of it getting your heart ripped out of your chest looking like a complete tool.
Yep it’s absolutely clown behavior. My friend is engaged to a baby mama with 2 kids from 2 different baby daddies. She was raised by a single mom. She’s a master manipulator an has him paying for everything
I have some women friends. Its not a big deal.
Preach!
‘Having guy friends’ this is a joke right?
@@luisfabiano2563 it's so easy to get caught up with these kinds of women as they fuck with your head. Especially if they are smoking hot and the sex is good. It never ends well for the poor soul who yearns for love and family.
I had a girl tell me "You're too controlling" in the beginning and then have her fall in love with me 3 months later. Stay in your frame. Be a leader.
@@jasonreed2116 You're missing the point of this comment Jason. The main idea is to be true to your instincts. What may seem controlling in today's society is actually what women need in their relationship. They want someone who who can lead them and not be steered away despite what mainstream media/disney has taught them.
If you continue staying in your frame then you have no reason to worry about the concern you have.
That really depends on the case because if man acts "normally", woman saying "you're too controlling" is for me at least big red flag saying she's so free spirited she has no rules for relationships or she changes them on dime depending on the day.
If I hear one more time "I had an ex but he was controlling" I'm literally going to scream at them to take some accountabilty
I had this recently happen a few weeks ago with my current gf. Found out that 2 guys she used to work with started chatting her up and told her exactly what Rich says and at first she was pissed and said that I was to controlling and insecure. Fast forward a month and it's almost as if a switch flicked and she leveled up the submissiveness. On a side note, the 2 dude were obese, heavy drinkers/smokers and broke, so nothing would have come from it anyway but it's still a deal breaker regardless.
@@MusicLegendIX No, you're missing the point. If I have to deal with such fickle, weak kids you can have them.
I don’t even feel sorry for those guys anymore.
She’s asserting control over him. He obviously already made it know he doesn’t want them to be friends with the ex F friend.
He has no value.
You hit the nail on the head. If you can't stand up for yourself and your morals and values, then all the grief and heartache you get as a result of that are logical consequences for behaving like a pussy.
Islam is the answer
@@gordonjay2461 so true, I hope people in the West convert and get out of the mess they’re in
@@gordonjay2461 it is?
Why do I need a system to ensure I do my natural job as man?
@@TheMrFive no we need a system which actually punishes bad behaviour for both men and women.
Guess who's going to be "heartbroken, devastated, and didn't see it coming."
“You are insecure” no, she is insecure. She’s keeping half ass options available, back up plans. She’s got no confidence in her choices. That’s insecure.
Great way of putting it. 👍
He’s not insecure he should now female nature and that is she’ll bang the other dude at some point in the future book it
He should have never allowed her to be friends with him if they were going to date. Men should not allow their woman to continue to interact with men they have slept with(and if she has or wants to, thats a huge red flag). Just another case of "Men complicate their lives and justify why."
I had a GF more than 30 years ago. She had 3 ex-boyfriends before me. She would let them call her and come over and see her whenever they wanted. That is very disrespectful to the person who you are currently with. I broke up with her because of that. When I ended it, she had the nerve to tell me that I needed to grow up.
Text book gas lighting. Good you didn’t fall for it.
Well you did grow up by leaving her. Don't expect accountability from a woman ever.
Should've given the Sean Connery treatment
@@Charles50Kal Please stop
She’s totally gaslighting him. She had no intention of dropping her friends with benefits. She’s full of BS and he should walk
Most likely they are still smashing once in a while.
@@leonelorozco2514 It's possible, that's for sure.
I'd immediately withdraw affection and go radio silent.
That's just sulking, without saying NO. It's too late, he already normalised and accepted this
Keep everything normal, but just switch the sex from gf sex to hookup sex.
Ghost-Recon activated
One of the hardest things for a guy to foresee entering an LTR is what excuse she'll come up with regarding her actions (past, present, or future). In this case, it is a "friends with benefits", but it could be anything. Chicks are very inventive when justifying their flaws or wrong decisions. As Rich pointed out if this particular dude had been firm about not accepting this awkward situation eight months ago, he would have been dumped in a heartbeat himself. During that period of time, she firmly established a grip on his emotions, and she got the upper hand in the relationship. This is no longer repairable, unfortunately. The solution: Ditch the bitch!
The problem is he didn't want to lose her, the fact that he acted like this tells you everything you need to know about this guy.
She knows NOW he doesn't like it.. nothing changed.
Let's be honest, she couldn't care less whether this dude accepted the Fwb or not either now or at the start. Chad's obviously still banging her plus his own girl.!
If she's a FWB girl case closed. That's what she's about, that's what she's for, and that's what she _is_. The very obvious issue here is your lack of options and clinging to her to avoid being lonely.
That’s what I’m saying these guys can’t even see the red flags before they start dating the bitch. Any woman who was involved in hook up culture should be an immediate smash and dash if not dash lol.
You are 100% correct. No need to overthink this one. The first few seconds is all it should have taken to have an answer.
Lonely ROCKS!
Had a similar situation where the last girl I was seeing was “just friends” with a guy from her school (bear in mind we were both in our mid 20’s). She had some weird “cinema trip” with him and his little cousin or some BS, at least that’s what I was told, and in hindsight l should’ve been much firmer on not letting that situation happen. And then one night while she was round my place, he rang her out the blue at like 9pm and she immediately had to say she was with me before continuing to speak to him for 20 minutes or so. That was the end for me, my desire for her absolutely plummeted and I dumped her soon after. I could’ve / should’ve addressed it all much sooner but you live and learn. I won’t be so tolerant in future
How did she react when you dumped her?
My ex called me controlling for not being cool with her new idea of it being okay to cuddle with other dudes while in a relationship with me lol
Cuddle? Are you serious man?
Loool
Why didn't you just say okay and start cuddling other women?
@@jayc342009 you are obviously a 304
@@jayc342009 I actually brought up having my hot friend over for a movie and some "cuddles" and she got pissed
Listen to your gut . Bottom line & you hit the nail on the head ; " why does she want to be so close to the former F-buddy ; unless she wants to get back with him ? " . The guy needs to send her to the curb .
Keeping him in her life as an orbiter.
Apparently her becoming close friends with the ex FB's girlfriend is keeping her that close to the ex FB.
He won't though
No such thing as a "former FWB". That option will always be there for her...and him.
I've kinda been on the other side of this, I was the FWB guy. After dating for a couple of weeks, the new boyfriend told her he wasn't comfortable that she was still in contact with me, and he wouldn't continue dating her unless she cut contact. She told me this via text, and she said goodbye. A year or so later a mutual friend told me they're now married.
If that guy hadn't stood his ground, the first big argument they had, I guarantee she would've been in my bed the next night (because that happened with a previous boyfriend).
would you be able to clarify something? if so, were you (as her FWB) and the lady having s## while she was seeing the other dude? much appreciated.
You are real dominant
That's a perfect illustration of why having a backbone is so important.
Yep,best to let her go now cause either way it's over
OR say cut them off, him or me.....if she gives you ANY lip about it, tell her to hit the road.....
This could turn very bad for homeboy very quickly if she feels that her game is threatened.
I had a woman (younger than I am) try this, and just said so I guess we are FWB, she didn't like that. I subscribe to the theory when it comes to guy friends " A shoulder to cry on, is a c*ck to ride on."
FWB is code for boyfriend. Women can't turn off their emotions. They can HiDE their feelings, but they love their FWB
Ya normal women can't have sex without creating an emotional connection. Its a chemical reaction in their brains during sex that men dont have in the same way. The women that are able to have emotionless sex, are the ones you dont want to be with bc they typically have mental issues.
And if somehow they don't have feelings for their FWB, It's arguably worse.... she has decoupled sex from her emotions!
Can’t tell you how many women I’ve sent on their way because of this. They don’t understand why a man is uncomfortable with his girl keeping company with other men.
Right on point yet again Rich. My wife or gfriend hanging out with her ex-FWB?!?…. GTFOH! FFS! Some of these men need to reach down and make sure they still have their balls. IDGAF if they initially made an agreement, amend it!
I had a situation where an exe stated her intention to meet a guy friend for a coffee. I made it clear if she proceeded with her plan then it would be game over . I don't regret in the slightest I held frame rather than being the cool boyfriend who kept quiet, but was unhappy inside.
I respect you for that.
I'm assuming this was a guy you thought was interested in her?
"Honey, I would have stopped being friends with Chad if you'd told me at the START of our relationship!"
Oh yes! Of course you would, dear! 🤣
Such bull... And that excuse makes it his fault!
That's her standby guy, the one she'll go to when you fight or when you break up. Nothing you can really do about it, even if she says she'll stop hanging out with him she most likely won't, and if she does she'll keep his number.
A guy with options would never tolerate this behaviour in a million years.
Being an old guy who had a lot of issues to deal with in life, and finally getting to the point where I would like a relationship, I find that the women today are really a mess. And I am not sure I can deal with them. Wish my head was clear when I was late teens / early 20s to find a real partner. Like I said, I've had a lot to deal with.
Amen brother from one old guy to another. I wish I had been wiser too but youth is wasted on the young.
And here too…seems there’s plenty of us.
Im in the same boat. Wish I wifed up a girl in high school. These women nowadays are disgustingly useless
@Farmer Nate "wish I wifed up a girl in highschool" Are you siriouse? Do you have any idea how not only unrealistic but also incredibly risky and foolish that would be? How could you possibly be a good judge of character as a teenager/child. The amount of personal change that happens from a women's teen years to adulthood is huge. The chance of her falling out of love, getting bored and wondering if the grass is greener on the otherside is almost guaranteed. And the same would apply to you. Your best chance is to mature as a man, find out what you do or do not like in women and learn from your failures and mistakes. Focus on yourself and when you build yourself up to become a high value man you will attract high value women.
@@DanielPlainsight Im a higher value man than you. Stop giving me advice I didnt ask for it kiddo
Rich, another epic take! After my kids mom bailed when they were 8 and 10 (my son stayed with me), I was duped twice by women when I was more worried about loosing them, than setting boundaries. My boundaries now are like East Berlin in the ‘60’s, thus I see them as recreational items, unless proven otherwise.
LOL, it was West Berlin, that was surounded with a wall... East Berlin was open to the DDR😂 Maybe you should overthink your boundaries and adapt them more like West Berlin😎
@@peterkoch3777 but the wall was erected by the East. Maybe his boundaries are going up around each woman leaving him free to roam....and checkpoint Charlie is only used on a play/no play basis.
@@kennedysan1045 Don’t say “checkpoint Charlie”
@@kevinayers6322 yeah righto
@@peterkoch3777 He's right, East Berlin was the one obsessively garded by Stalin's Red Army.
So true that your biology will over ride your faulty logic. I've had a few girlfriends where my thoughts went "it's fine, it's normal, get over it, accept who she is" etc. But my gut made me utterly miserable until I got away from them. I now know that once I get that feeling it will never work, my instincts are telling me to stay away, and trying to fight it is futile and painful.
This comment is very relatable. I just walked out of a 4 year on and off relationship. The whole should've, would've, could've keeps going through my head. But at the end of the day I need to take my losses, grow a pair and learn from this monumental mistake and do exactly what you stated and that's listen to my gut from the get go.
And you are telling yourself "I'm not perfect either", and you accept/try to accept her flaws.
It is getting worse and at the end of the day you find out she's completely crazy.
And you will tell yourself: damn I should have listened to my gut!
That is no problem, as long as you have no kids together and you leave her definately and you WONT do the same mistake with the new girl again.
Everybody makes mistakes. But LEARN from them!
@@DanielPlainsight You did the best you could with the info you had at the time. Don't beat yourself up.
Tell her "him or me" and be prepared to accept whatever answer she gives. If she refuses....leave her!
The book you promote is a great read. I passed it off to my 19 yr old son
This is the most accurate ever...women are worried more about their mealticket than their actual relationship.
I got the "you are being too controlling" from my lady for 17 years. It turned out to be a useful tactic in her favor. Till I was able to confirm she cheated on me. I laid down the rules and things where good for me, for a couple years. She just keeps going back to her ways and seeing what she can get away with.
I’m that guy. Had a fwb in hs for a couple years, an once that ended she treated it like a legit breakup. Fast forward 2 years later an she’s in a relationship with a guy. I didn’t know this at the time until she told me when we were out to coffee one day. I wondered if her current bf knew she was out to coffee with her first love/fwb. That thought was always in the back of my mind. She was bragging how he drove fancy cars an did well for himself. But I could tell she was still not over me. If I were that guy an I found out I’d break up and be pissed
You sound real dominant and well hung
Any advice? Haha, you already know what to do. You just want to hear it.
Hey brother, I needed this. I put my foot down when she wanted to do lunch with her ex-lover fire fighter. I walked away, but she returned the next day and said she wanted to be with me and wouldn't see him. Problem solved. I did get the controlling and insecure bullshit, and thanks to you, I set her straight on that crap. Kudos. But then, after about 6 months and Covid restrictions relaxed, she told me she would have a WEEK-LONG trip to Iceland with her girlfriends. Of course, it morphed into guys going as well... This was after missing my birthday weekend by going to her college event with girlfriends. I was still unsure about these, but as you said, my DNA was screaming that this was NOT right. The final straw was a text that said, "Just a heads up, I am going to Atlantic City for the weekend with my girlfriends." I had had enough. I told her it was unacceptable, and we broke up, and the door is locked now, won't be taking her back. This video was the first time (you have probably said it before) that girls' weekends are a no go too. Thank you for the validation. I really, really needed that. I am auditioning for bands again as a bass player and getting that part of my life back that she couldn't deal with... feels good to be back on track. I seek my fortune. Peace.
P.S. Now that I am focused on myself again and my finances, I'll soon let you know what color my McClaren is.
My bass guitars have never tried to do me rotten, play on bro.
@@Johnny.1965 Oorah! I made a meme... I send a link in a few.
No matter how wonderful I think she is if maintaining a relationship with an old FWB means that much to her I don't think I could stay with her. I have too much self-respect and I don't want to always be wondering
yep, better to be single than wondering if you being betrayed.
Don't need to worry. Trust me...she is.
Bro, I made the exact same mistake...Make it clear from the start, it's you or the friend. If she picks him, she was always going to leave you.
If he put his foot down in beginning odds are she would've call him "controlling" to his face and to her friends, and gotten back on dating apps to find another sucker.
100% with you on this Rich, she full of shit if she thinks she gonna hang out with he ex while we are dating. BIG NONO!
If a woman requires to have or chooses to have an ex lover around, she is not trustworthy in the first place. I would never disrespect my woman by keeping one of my ex lovers as friends. Whether or not, he asked her to do it, if she respected or loved him, she would cut the man off. I have a hard and fast boundary even now. If a woman wants my commitment, she must get rid of all male friends and there will not be any girls trips or girls nights out.
I am upfront about this from day one that any woman asks for a relationship. Accept it and we can have a relationship or decline and we can keep it casual or not at all. I love my freedom, I love not having to share my income, I love being able to date multiple women. If a woman wants my commitment, she will respect my boundaries. I make well into the six figure range and I love being single. If a woman wants my monogamy it comes with a price. The woman I am with now had to make this decision. She decided she would do it. If she changes her mind later, that's fine and I will dump her. I have no problem getting women and dating casually.
How would she react if he came up with an ex that he wants to have around "strictly for chatting"?
you're a legend rich, all you said are facts!
This happened to me back when I was dating a few times. I would simply tell them that’s great because I also have a couple of former FWB I would love to hang out with…. Immediate change in their stance 😂
She has a problem with it, relegate HER to friends with benefits. Keep looking for a better woman.
Hell no !!! It’s not worth it to be so uncomfortable! That would have to be a hard NO for me !
It's just a no. Don't accept it. If she wants to keep doing it, that's fine but it means breaking up. Only being with her for like 8 months... let's be realistic, that's not really that long. So don't think you've invested in some long-term thing, something better is out there. Staying with this chick and feeling sick is worse than being single. Better to be single
No is NO...😊😊😊
I had a similar situation she said all of her exes were her "guy friends" and that they had done stuff in the passed but she kept them in her life after, when I pressed her on how much she had done she never disclosed it openly and basically dodged the question. For any guy out there if it seems sus 9/10 times it is only reason a hotel would be trying to hide her past (and present) is if she knows it will affect the way you see her her actions always speak louder than her words the sooner you see the signs the less time you'll be wasting
Absolutely accept it. And then tell her she will be for recreational use only, and she will never get out of that category.
And if he believes that she only ever sees him with his girlfriend present he probably believes that she sees him with the Easter bunny too
Hahaha exactly
My 2 cents based on my experience... The dude needs to leave her. The sooner the better. You are objectively right on everything you have said. Keeping FWBs/EX's/ Very close dude friends around is just a way o having options and opportunities for the next best thing/ level up. And this should be applied regardless of the length of the relationship. OR... Put your foot down firmly (not aggressively) and set the rules. That "Game" is long lost.
Spot on truth
Before I met my wife, I was thirty six years old and had three steady women I was dating and they all knew about each other. I would just tell them at the start that I wasn't looking for a serious relationship just fun. They'd tell me they weren't interested in a long term either and there was no problem until one started to act squirrely, I got rid of her and then there were two. Date as many as you can on your terms and treat them with the same respect you'd want to be treated with. Enjoy your youth, looks, and social life and most importantly that real freedom while its there. The right ine will come along when you're not looking for her. Good luck out there Gentlemen and a happy new year to all.
stay blessed brotha. thank u for the advice!
You sound real dominant and alpha
You sound well hung also
It’s over. He just doesn’t realise it … yet. Jealousy and justifiable paranoia will consume him. Either he relegates her to recreational use only or simply next’s her is up to him. He’s set himself up for a world of pain by entering her frame.
This hits it out of the park...again. Fellas, listen to these videos and use this free information to your benefit.
"my gf is still friends with an ex fwb".... ya she would have never made it to gf stage with me and that's the issue here. This guy sounds passive, and if it wouldn't be a problem for her to cut him off at the beginning of the relationship why hasn't she done it? Stop being passive, say what you want when dealing with women, if they call you controlling laugh at them and move on or keep them as a casual fling at best. One thing about me is women I have dated or been with will never say I was passive. My current gf even commented how she likes how assertive I am in all aspects of my life. I dont understand how guys dont realize how turned on women get when a guy actually is assertive and goes after what he wants. When we had "the talk" about what our relationship is, some things I mentioned where "no ex's or any kind, no hes like a brother to me type guys, no work husbands, etc." She didn't have any of these to begin with or i wouldn't have even considered a relationship with her, but i let her know they were deal breakers whether it happens a week from now or if we are together 30 years from now.
His GF only hangs out with the FWB when the other GF is present because they 3-way... and since the other girl is involved its not cheating if he accidentally drops it in.
That's what I was thinking too.
You know if a woman is loyal if she shuts out all past men. My wife did that. It’s been 24 years now. No woman you are dating should have a male friend.
Spin plates. Stack paper. Stay active. Lift Weights. Everything will fall into place.
Still hanging with a friends with benefits. Wait until she says she's going over to hang with him (and his girlfriend, yeah right) and just say. You know I'm uncomfortable with this. I'm going to need you to show me how much you really care about my feelings. If you go over to hang out your showing me you really don't care how it makes me feel. That show's you don't respect me and that show's me you don't really care about me. So show me where I am at. If she stays you know she cares for you, if she walks you know it's time to leave. That simple. But tolerating something that bothers you is not good for you.
For goodness sake be a man.... "I'm uncomfortable with this". Talk about limp wristed weakness. People can handle being "uncomfortable", so you are telling her she can go ahead, because being uncomfortable is pretty minor, makes it easy for her to justify it in her head... "oh we are just friends now", "his gf will be there so no problem".
Curiously, she doesn't explain why she has to have chaperones present when seeing her fwb. That in it's self tells her state of mind towards the guy.
You are not "uncomfortable" with her behaviour.... you are intolerant and thus her continued behaviour will result in you withdrawing your relationship with her.
No explanation. She knows what she's doing. Your feelings doesn't mean crap.
No commitment if there are other dude's in the picture. Period. She goes into FWB. Your free to F anyone else.
The fact you’re uncomfortable is enough, tell her to drop him, if she won’t drop her
One glaring mistake at 1:05 ... Men don't just care about their woman's fidelity when it comes to sccual intimacy. Men care about fidelity in all forms of physical intimacy. The large majority of men in committed relationships would be concerned if he found out that his woman was flirting with another man and/or making out with another man.
First mistake: Choosing a woman that admits to have been a FWB. Need to raise your bar ALOT higher.
From movie HEAT. "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner." You never get attached until you check all is fine,
I would advice him to demote, and start spinning plates with other girls keeping her as fuck buddy (but without telling her, she did'nt care about him, he should care about her), until find better quality woman, but if the kid is already attached, yeah, then dump her. Save you pain. Don't complicate your life. And it's only 8 months, that's not a relationship. She doesn't love him.
I got out of a relationship when my EX wanted to play golf with a male co-worker(male) and 2 of his friends. She can't hit the ball 100 yards. Now why would they want her along???
While I obviously don't want anyone else in my girl, I also can't have anyone caring for her emotionally either. That's a first step toward sex!
I wouldn't continue, even if I had condoned it in the beginning.
He clearly regrets not setting the boundaries at that time and now she is setting them! This is unlikely to end well, their dynamic is subject to change and that's just problems later on. May as well sack her now and be done with it. Lesson learnt!
I think Rich is absolutely right about this! 💯
100% agree - being a "friend" with your GF former FWB is beyond my comprehension, I myself wouldn't even be in a relationship whit a woman who has any contact with a former FWB... I wouldn't be in a relationship whit a woman who was in FWB situation...
Leave her!!!
My brother's, I'm 57. I knew I was Always a potential 2nd or 3rd place prize in any relationship I was in. Always keep this mindset and alway be ready to just walk and not talk.
Nope. That’s a dealbreaker.
The answer is simple.. guys NO!!!! The fact that she even offered this is grounds for dismissal!!!
Agreed. Had he talked to her about it at the beginning it would have been better, but she still wound have found her hypergamous reasons to keep the other dude around.
Why he needs to mess with a girl with a "friend with benefits" if he can find a girl without such friend? The answer is clear here, say "good bye".
“You should have told me at the beginning.” Is a total line of BS and she is using it to manipulate him. Very obvious.
I love when they say 'I've got a bf but he's okay with it'
“Beeeytaaaa…….Beta Male!”
I had this exact situation started a relationship told her she had to cut off all ex FWB and orbiters and she told me she wouldn’t do it … so I dumped her… they will not accept you limiting their options and will manufacture situations to push the boundaries further and further … oh my car broke down so he gave me a lift to work … etc
Meanwhile they tearing up the sheets while you at work … literally…
Run and don’t look back although it’s hard as damaged women are absolutely the best sex you will ever have.
Even if she tells you that you gave her the best sex of her life … she will still test how far she can push and what she can get away with….
"Due to her and his girlfriend becoming close friends she feels she can't. "
Nope. They could do lunches, brunches, dinners, movie nights, etc. None of these things require the ex to be there and she could maintain the friendship. He's only a part of anything because she wants him to be around.
100% correct!!
One of the best pieces of relationship advice I ever got was pretty simple: Men give love for sex, and women give sex for love. If you can deal with that, great.
Sounds way too complex
You can't go on living like this .
Better off being alone , getting over the breakup and moving on.
Be kind to yourself and work on you .
Be strong friend.
It never ceases to amaze me the situations some guys get into. You have to be clear that exes, guy friends blah blah are all hard stops. Otherwise you will be made to look like a mug. Women want the best of both worlds and maximise their guy attention
Tell her Bye and move on. You’re letting her keep her backup option right in front of you.
Drop her, simple as that. Too many girls in the world to be faithful to one anyway
I'd be like go ahead and go out with him, but don't ever come back.
She holds out hope for the FWB
A LTR with a promiscuous GF! Seriously! Dude needs RPA pronto.
He needs to leave. Toooo much stress. Learn for the next relationship.
Only way not to fall into this trap is to have options bro. When you have options you won’t put up with sh*t like this. When she sees this in you, you will be the FWB 😉
So she’s not allowed to have friends but you’re allowed to keep your options open? What logic is this 😂 that solves nothing than two people with commitment issues wasting each others time.
@@ladygodiva4141 You don’t get it kid
@@ladygodiva4141 Femenine solipsism... as usual.
Richie cooper , u are a fucking legend when it comes to male fools and female tools…ur advise , wisdom and knowledge of women is 100% spot on …I was a bit of a player meself after my separation and I can see straight through all these women that play idiot men for fools . Love ur channel mate , ur doing and providing a great service for all the guys out there .
This whole scenario sounds like the biggest load of BS. If she truly valued him, it wouldn’t have mattered at what point in the relationship her boyfriend realized that the past FWB is still in her life. She would cut the FWB off at any point that it makes her boyfriend uncomfortable if he were her top priority. I’d even go as far to say that he’s within bounds to prohibit male “friends” just on the basis she entertained a FWB situation in the past alone. She showed her lack of personal boundaries and that she cannot be trusted.
The sound of that engine though
Facts
I wish I was showing this before when I was younger but better late than never but once I unplugged the matrix. Now the world is different, the blinders or off. I have the a similar situation at home and I use to lose my mind but after learning and applying it. Wow. I keep a level head and not react. I point blank tell her look, he is lying to you he as feelings for you. No more, and I walked away to the other room, the her behavior has changed. This stuff is life changing.
ALWAYS make certain she knows where the door is. Uncertainty is power and value to females. Make lines clear, then leave and stay gone if she crosses any.
She does NOT respect him.