Your Need to Sound Perfect is Holding You Back
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2018
- Why the need to sound good is holding you back
Main objective - learning how to play without fear and without hate. You know about this energy. You feel the potential of it. It is why you want to be free.
Hello lovelies!! Thank you for hanging out with me today. As a vocal coach, one of the biggest areas that I work with singers on is the removal of blocks. A vocal block in it’s truest sense is the reluctance to move. To go into a place within the voice that we are afraid to go. All vocal blocks mask emotion, restrict movement and absolutely destroy sound. Today, I want to explore with you, an extremely complex block that I see manifesting in singers voices more than any other destructive habit. This tendency can undermine all your efforts when you are working with such a sensitive instrument like your voice. And that is the NEED to sound good. When I say need, I am referring to the absolute attachment to an outcome, like a specific sound that we have to have or the tendency to compare our voice to someone else’s as a benchmark for acceptable.
That attachment and reaction sets into motion a complex series of muscle responses that lock your voice inside of your body. Not to mention, creates an intense anxiety towards your sound, causing your mind to be extremely judge-mental. If this goes on over a period of time, your critical mind - that part of your mind that is supposed to help you - learns to outright attack you as well as any effort you make for anything creative or new. This can make you afraid of your own voice because you feel like you can’t trust it or you feel like it is constantly disappointing you.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t have excellent standards for yourself as a singer or that you shouldn’t want to sound your best. I’m suggesting a change in the way you approach your voice. I’m suggesting the crazy notion of relaxing your expectations while you are developing your voice into shifting your focus to movement and the way that movement feels in your body rather than result exclusively.
When your voice is restored to movement and impulse instead of tied into a result at all costs, you are in a much more powerful stance, and you know how to follow your instincts and your authenticity to truly create something spectacular instead of something overly structured, rigid and cookie cutter simply because that’s what other people say you should do. So think of your developmental work with your voice as teeter tottering back and forth between coordination and release.
Talent is; To be free of all blocks.
1. The thing that stresses the voice out the most - attachment and reaction. (THE WAY THE VOICE WORKS)
The biggest issue people have when it comes to singing is that they react to their voices, or even punish themselves when it doesn’t sound “perfect” This, more than any other habit, stops your voice from doing what comes naturally. This is partly due to the thinking that their voice isn’t sophisticated enough to be truly appreciated or the result doesn’t compare to what is popular in music right now. So when many people begin to sing, this desire to just “sound right” forces them to fold and tie their voices into pretty little knots because that’s what they think they have to do in order to be “correct.” The absolute law with the voice is that it is CONTROLLED by your nervous system. At it’s heart of heart is all about following the life force from deep inside of you and allowing that force to flow easily without interruption. You can’t feel your voice or your body if both are tied up in knots because you are afraid to let go. A voice’s potential and flow are interrupted when a singer makes demands over the result too soon. This can confuse the singer later on when it comes to exploring their authenticity because they have spent an entire developmental process saying to their voice, “No! You are not allowed to express who you really are. You have to do it they way I want you to.” Ultimately, your (Authenticity and creativity) voice will begin to shutdown because like a child with strict parents, it feels like it can do nothing right.
It’s your reaction to the flow of energy and movement in your voice that is going to underscore your progress more than anything else. The fastest way to develop your voice is to NOT REACT, but to surrender to where your voice wants to take you organically. The wobbles, the shakes, the honks and even the tears that come up are symptomatic of a barrier you’ve placed on your voice. Nothing more. When you allow your voice to go into those places that you did not want to go, those barriers and limitations simply melt away. When you surrender, and let your voice move without any tendency to protect, preserve or obsess about it being perfect, but truly let go, there is a massive shift in the energy. Your entire approach to
''Talent is the ability to be free from all blocks.'' So much wisdom crammed into so few words...Thanks Madeleine!
Why am I on the verge of tears? I watched this whole video and now I feel tender inside. Is this supposed to happen?
Are you kidding this is exactly what I need. I’m a HUGE perfectionist and I have been struggling with this for a while. I go to Berklee College of Music and everyone is SO talented and I feel like I need to be perfect all the time or I will fall behind. This helped so much, thank you❤️
Hi jack! It means so much to me to hear that this video has helped. I totally understand!!! It's so easy to get caught up with trying to keep up that a person can forget to relax, and try to enjoy the unfolding of their own authenticity. I can't wait to hear you sing sometime soon! Lot's of love!
Jack Quinby Congratulations, that’s so great that you go to Berklee College of Music! I’m, actually, looking into going there. One thing I can say, based on listening to student interviews is that to, also, learn from the people in the class that have more experience than you. I don’t know how the class environment is in your classes, but, being surrounded by people who have what you want, can help you grow and master what you do, also.
That's right! So hey, Jack, fear not! You would never end up in something that you can't handle, especially when it comes to your own talent, you can do it!!🙋😃
This is BEAUTIFUL.
The video that everyone need to hear. Especially those who wish to enjoy singing , but fear that they don't have the voice for singing.
This trully describes in details how people learned to sing. A whole life experiences, in clear genuine words.
Thanks for ur sincere words.
Your videos are just SO good. There's loads of good singing ones on RUclips but you seem to really get it on a deep level and it comes across in the really logical and relatable way you explain things. Sort of like the philosophy of singing or something.
When you're describing the feeling and connection between our voice and ourselves, your love of singing just flows out of your shining eyes.😉
This did not just help my voice but also me as a person .... really ... thank you...
Last night I warm up my voice and I tried to singing one of my fav artists songs on pitch and everything and I didn't pull it off -wasn't perfect - your so right tbat held me back sooo much.
Later that evening I aS listening to so e calming, quirky songs and then I just began singing for fun, not really caring so much about the sound but about the feeling and about my expression. Oml it was so cool-my voice was so free and I could hit higher notes because I was so relAxed! I be never realized that everyone can sing good but they expect too much and hold on to ideals to early on instead of feeling the experience.
Now im hust going to have fun and enjoy my voice where it us right now !
Thank you so much! I always used to be/kinda still am/afraid for auditions and what people would think of my voice, but this has changed my perspective. I grew up where everything I had to do had to be perfect, my grades couldn't fall below 85%, basically, if I wasn't perfect I was punished. I really just want to thank you because this video helped me with more than just singing in front of people. It has helped me when playing my instruments in a concert, presentations, etc. Overall your video has helped me to get out of my comfort zone and show the world what I am made of. THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH!
OMG, you came back 😱. I’ve been exercising my voice with your videos these past two months and I want to say your so good at what you do. I clicked this video so fast, your speaking to me once again with this one!
True. The good thing is that lessons with a good teacher, and even practicing (systematiclly) alone, allow you to get rid of all blocks and make you more confident not only in singing, but in everyday life, too.
I was struggling today trying to duplicate a very long note i hold year after year ... i found myself tensing up while i was rehearsing it ...funny you happened to post this video ...perfect timing thank you
"acceptance is the demonstration of openness" 👍
Wow I loved this.... 😢😢♥️ you were made to do this! Seriously so simple yet so revolutionary 😢♥️♥️
Thank you so much for this video I will never ever forget you . You are the best coach ever. More power!
I have been battling with myself internally about this. Especially recently and I only been singing for over a year. This little reassurance helps me and is now making me realize to RELAX, BE 'FREE' and allow myself to accept my voice for what is is, what is going to be.
Thank you for this video :)
I have to sing the psalm for my confirmation in less than a week and reallly and truly I find performing in a play bearable as I am not me I am someone else and I am not standing still and I’m moving. I just feel horrible when I sing on the altar... my legs start shaking and a fear just pops in to my head. Whenever I have freetime (and this goes for any fear at all.) I ask myself ‘Why do I feel so fearful?’ And then I talk about it to myself and think ‘Wow!’ I was over-exaggerating the whole thing. It’s just the feeling I am going to let everybody down and everybody is going to start judging me..... i find your videos very helpful and I want to thank you! Love ya to bits!
I love you!I have been singing for 33Years. I have a Masters in vocal performance and the one thing that voice teachers did give me over the years is tons of mental blocks and muscle tension . I have had to work hard to get over them through the years. It’s so nice to hear you speak to that problem.
I am doing my first true public performance on Thursday and I have been frantic over my voice all week but your words have really inspired me to just feel the music and be myself through the song- thank you so so much ps. ive missed your vids- glad your back :-)
I've been practicing the past 2 weeks consistently and I've started to realize this and really feel it, this video is perfect.
Great advice! Don't hold back. Just let go and sing with unbridled joy. You'll be amazed at how fun it is to sing freely without unrealistic expectations holding you back. Stop comparing your voice to others. Your voice is uniquely wonderful. Celebrate your uniqueness and just have fun! Music should be a therapeutic escape from stress not the cause of it.
This is so helpful and sometimes I always keep having episodes of my anxiety panic attacks and other times I feel like I'm alone and trying to get myself better to calm down to relax
Madeleine, thank you. I needed this so much.
I have been trying too hard. Trying to sound like someone or something else. Trying to go back to when I was on a church choir or something. I wasn't trying to just let my influences influence me and be me.
I listen to so many genres, have favorite artists and everything. I'm not them. My pursuit to be them instead of me is holding me back.
I love you, you're the best. Keep doing what you're doing.
That correlation between your voice and your nervous system made so much sense!! Thank u soooo much Madeleine!!
Wow, great lesson....for beginners, this is gold...Beginners usually hate their voice because they compare themselves with others.
Yo this applies to my art life too thank you (":
I agree with Ducabelo Guitar, this video has opened my eyes. Now I know what I've been struggling with this past year as I couldn't put my finger on it. Blocks. What a release to find out, thank you SO much, I'm so grateful.
This has gotten so much worse for me over the years , thank you for this .
Edit: I'm legit crying over this video lol
Oh Emi! I hope, in time, you are able to relax and give your voice full permission to express through you. You'll find that all the qualities you are looking for in your voice are in the same direction as your relaxation. Lot's of love!
Madeleine Harvey I’m a voice teacher myself, as well as a performer, and I ended up with a voice injury last year between the teaching, the shows (3 hour sets, twice a month), the haunted houses that I worked at, etc. and even though I healed myself , I’m terrified of my own voice now . That’s my problem .
Because me being scared , tenses me up more . And anything that comes out of my mouth that’s less than perfect , I get so mad at . It’s a vicious cycle that I don’t know how to get over 😞
Thank you Madeleine, this really is very important block most of us face. And I am now going to unblock it. Also thanks to your wise, gentle and comprehensive comments and explanation :-)
I needed this too!!! I karoaked for only 2nd time this weekend (karaoke is so much scarier than auditions haha) actually vocally went pretty ok but I was worrying so much I barely moved my body and definitely didn't go as big as I could have (Til There Was You from Music Man) Not beating myself up, but thinking on this video and applying it should help me alot next time with that Mic! ❤❤❤ thank you for your amazing words!
...okay...you made me cry like a child with this video...probably that's exactly what I needed to hear right now...once I'll get rid of my cold, I'll try to follow your advices and to play with my voice...you've gained a new subscriber with just a video,miss 💚
You are such a blessing! Thank you for all you do!💖🙏🏽
In my last production, I truly felt like my vocals had a limit, and I was so frustrated with the fact that I could not force it to sound a certain way. I have been working to develop my voice everyday, but I have never looked at it this way. I did not realize the pressure I was putting on myself, or that developing my voice is not gaining 100% control of it to do what I want. I needed this reminder so badly. Thank you so much for this and your sweet spirit!
What an important advice: to accept my own voice!! Thanks Madeline.
Thank you for getting straight to the point!!
Madeleine, please never stop making these videos and all that you do. This video spoke to me and addressed my issues spot on. I've been obsessing, fixating, and truly crying over the less-than-ideal parts of my voice. It has given rise to all this stress and anxiety. I was almost contemplating quitting vocal training and not performing at my music school in two weeks. But I'm so thankful for you passion and your videos. I have to aim for bravery and not perfection. Thank you.
Everything you had said is something I’ll keep with me through my life. You have made me realize that there is really no such thing as a “good” singer ( although technique and knowing to find pitch and things like that is important ). I am glad that this is something I have learned at 13. Your video was amazing as normal and I can’t wait to see more❤️!!
Thank you so much for this
Epic intro :)
Thanks Matthew!
Thank you. You're my vocal coach.
So true all this letting the voice flow, what a wonderful thing!
This is definitely what I needed. Thank you so much
Omg it's been so long good to see you!!!
Even your speaking voice is so wonderful. You ought to be a voice assistant for my phone.
Thank you so much..I've been struggling with this lately, and today especially, this is exactly what I needed to hear..thank you
So very true!! Beautiful thank you ❤️
Thx for your wise words Madeline! Awesome advices!!!!
EXACTLY what I needed to hear! Thanks so much for this!
I really needed to hear this! You explained perfectly what I couldn't put into words. This video was truly a God send! Thank you!❤
This means so much to me. Thank you for your words.
GRACIAS MADELEINE! Very very helpful. It's all about FREEDOM!
You are so wonderful and a really good teacher. This was really motivating :) thank you much love
You always have the perfect advice right when we need it.. many many thanks love💖💖💖🙏🙏🙏
Yay you’re back! Love your videos 😄
Thank you so much!! I just arrived at your channel and I'm loving the videos, the lessons, the chats. Sending you a big hug from Brazil! :)
What increadible, insightful knowledge. Thank you for sharing!
This is truly what I needed to hear. This is the area I struggle the most with when singing thank u so much💕
I REALLY needed this... I make analyze my voice every single time I sing. Thank you sooo much!!
Ha! I was just judging my voice and then this video showed up on my RUclips Homepage (I had never seen any of your videos before), and I really needed to hear this. Thank you! 🙏😊
Obrigada, Madeleine!! From Brazil!! 🎶❤
omg......Now I think dat you exactly made this video for me.WORD BY WORD....thank u fr this video.expecting more♡
Blessings to you Ms. Madeleine you are too amazing..the idea of letting the voice flow is incredible...I'll be sure to remember this next time I'm doing my exercises.
YOU HELPED ME ALOT>< I was struggling with my voice for years but thanks to this video i feel so relaxed >
Thankyou so much Madeleine for this post. I have struggled for years with being to over anylitical thinking with my voice , feeling that I sounded to mediocre to be appreciated or marketable. It has really sabotaged my advancement for years. I’ve been so hard on myself and wish sometimes my mind would just switch off and let my heart take over. This video you have posted is almost like it was taylored just for my ears to hear. This is like the holy grail of good council and advice I have been so waiting for. So I thank you from the bottom of my heart for setting me free. You are totally amazing. The best singing teacher I have found on the net indefinite. Thankyou a zillion times for allowing me to discover you. Xx
I'm so thankful for your videos! I love how you teachingus to imrove our voices and love ourselves♡ You are my lovely vocal coach. Thank you very much♡♡♡
This outlook is so beautiful and helpful. Just what I needed on this point of my journey. Thank you (:
Wow I really really really needed this right now ~~ thank you, amazing
Madeline! Huge thanks for this heartfelt diatribe. As a vocal coach and performer myself, this says so many of the things that I want to communicate to my young singing students.
Thank you so much for this. I was in tears. Made such an impact and really nailed exactly what I'm experiencing. THANK YOU for allowing your true essence to flow through you. It's beautiful and inspiring :)
Dear Madeleine,
I never left a comment on any RUclips ever but this video of yours moved me so much that I have to thank you here. Going through some awakening in my life, I was feeling that the approach I am working on for my life applies to my approach to my singing. You confirmed it in this video and I am just so moved and it brings me tears. Your other videos on technical tips are also very helpful and you are really helping me discover and develop my voice. Thank you and I will continue watching other videos. Sending you love : )
It's like you were in the studio with me last weekend, I really needed this! Whenever I perform live I get in my groove & I am able to move past that block, but when I'm in the studio I'm so fixated on the outcome I can hear the difference & it makes me reluctant to release any music. Thank you so much for this! I feel like it was a sign from the universe.
ooh girl, you kept me weeping throughout many moments during your speech. One million thanks. You are the best.
Great advices!
You’re very interesting teacher and your teacher techniques are stunning.
It changes my all voice.
God I wish more people understood this. I really needed to hear this. Thank you so much.❤️
This message helped me so much❤🌞 thank you
Thank you. Loved your video. It was a great help!
Wow! Thank you so much for this video. I just discovered you today and I’ve been binge watching your videos. I feel like I’ve finally found the missing path I need to move forward in my singing journey. You brought me to tears, literally. This is exactly what I’ve been facing. I want to be perfect and that causes me to constantly doubt my voice causing me to hold back from just letting my voice be my voice. You express it so well through both intellect and emotions. I get it! I feel so released and free and I am so excited to begin putting into practice what you have shared here. Thank you again. I am your newest biggest fan and I can’t wait to get to the next lesson. Bless you.
Honestly, I needed this so much. I have been trying to sing like other singers and I haven't put too much thought on my voice.
I am so happy I discovered you ! Keep up the amazing work ! :D
This is so cool! I love you and your channel; it is so helpful.
I'm so glad this video helped! Love you too!
what an intro! so much of the epic power! im honest i like it more than the last
Girl, i love you! just thank you..
just exactly what I need rn. Thanks!💛
Thank you so much! I am one of those singers who is obsessed with how everything sounds instead of feeling and expressing real emotion for a song. I really didn't know how to overcome it as I've unconsciously trained myself to do that but this video really helped me :) So thank you again
Ooooh Thank you so so so sooooo much. This what's going on with me . Every time I sing I always say to myself that I wanna sound like that singer ,wanna sound like that singer . Thank you. And love yaaaa....
Wonderful .. thank you so much for this video! This summs up everything
GOSH THIS WAS AMAZING!!!
Love her!!! Want her as my vocal coach!!
I can't believe I'm lucky enough to be taking lessons from this amazing lady. hi Madeleine!!
Can you do a video of voice cracks on command? I’d like to learn how to sing with the cute voice cracks not like a pubescent boi😂♥️
Lump Universe PLEASEEEE MY VOICE CRACKS ALL THE TIME AND ITS ANNOYING WKXNSOD
I just read that in LSP voice xD so funny xD
Really, thank you very very much! This is really gonna help me! :D
This really helped out! Thank you!!
Makes me sad and happy at the same time. My own beloved voice teacher died back in 2012, but many of the things that you espouse are straight out of her Playbook. She was such a character! She used to say I don't know what that is but it's not singing. She was pretty hard on professional singers who thought they were so great... she saw them struggling and manipulating. The inauthentic side of it used to drive her crazy. For us her students it was all about the breath and the concept of verticality being tossed out the window. She spent years knocking around Italy in the tiny Opera Houses where they would just show up to do a performance, no blocking sometimes a tenor would just switch roles with somebody else a baritone maybe, but she never had so much fun in her life. Except when the conductor's girlfriend took over her role that night. So yeah I love the way you address the flow and the lack of judgement on yourself. And I'm totally enjoying your exercises!
Thank you so much for your helpful videos. I think this one plus the "How to Sing with Confidence" compliment each other. You are an amazing teacher. Congratulations.
Thank you so much Raul! I'm so glad you liked both of those videos! Lot's of love!
thank you! your advices always help me :)
I just found you here. You're good!! Thank you for this!!
This video is SO IMPORTANT.
Thank you for this! I realized I had attached my self worth to my singing, and I felt if I sang badly, I was worthless (sounds silly writing it out, but it was a subconscious thing). Anyway, this really helps to process through that and accept my imperfect voice, and imperfect self. ❤️
She's back!!!!!!
It just happened to me and people complimented me. But now, i am thinking am I going to be able to do that again!!!
Funny hey?
But ok it has to be done again, relaxing, letting go, accepting and fun