Healing Becomes Impossible When Drinking Activates Your Trauma Wounds
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- Опубликовано: 27 авг 2024
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Alcoholism is a common factor in families where the children develop CPTSD; it also appears to have a strong hereditary component. MANY traumatized people are heavy drinkers, use alcohol to "self-medicate" or are unable to stop drinking. The result is that it's almost impossible to heal from the original trauma wounds. In this video I respond to a letter from a man who drove away all his friends, started his life anew, and is driving friends away once again. He suspects his drinking is ruining his emotional state. Hear my advice for stopping the problem and changing his life.
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i spent about thirteen years drinking my face off with no idea what i was running from, not a clue about the physical ramifications, and thought i knew all about the various psychological issues that accompanied it. when i stopped drinking, the task of becoming aware of all of those things was enormous and cripplingly hard, but videos like yours have helped me more than i can express with doing this journey by myself, as i can't seem to handle meetings or group therapy.
thank you so much
nice!!! good for you!!
Thank you for sharing this 💚💚x
My brother just died because of alcoholism which was caused by a traumatic childhood. I will honour his memory by healing myself through your daily practice. ❤🙏
Yes. I'm right there with you. Lost my brother too.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I’m so sorry. 😢 Could you please do a video about how to deal with grief when you have childhood PTSD? Thank you 🙏 ❤️
my condolences to you & your family and how beautiful to dedicate your daily practice to him
I’m a sober alcoholic and I am active in A.A and must say it has changed my life. Just remember one day at a time.
Thanks for sharing!
-Cara@TeamFairy
My parents were so proud and thought they did everything Right simply because they didn't drink or do drugs. It erased the emotional and physical neglect and abuse, simply by not having a bottle in their hand! 🙄 What's ironic is that my mom would see someone with a run down house/yard and say things like "they must be an alcoholic" while our own home was a filthy hoarder hole.
So of course I turned to drugs and alcohol 😅
Yeah parents living lies really can mess with a kid!
Same. My parents didn't drink/drug but the misery & violence in the home is going strong.
Don't consider myself muslim anymore but boy am I glad I was raised in an environment that, despite several other unrecognized traumas, was collectively and religiously anti alcohol.
True. Even I was born in an orthodox Hindu family. There was a strict no alocohol policy in my home.
My good friend is Sikh and was raised the same way. I admire how she can attend social events or watch bands at the bar and not be tempted to drink whatsoever. For me it's extremely hard not to have a beer if offered one in that kind of scenario.
Same here I have other "isms" no alcohol use in my family.
Quitting alcohol totally transformed my life and personality, better in every way. I was a problem drinker because of CPTSD and didn’t address it because I didn’t have addictive symptoms in the genetic sense; AA and traditional treatment didn’t seem to apply to me. Instead I did a short rehab of negative association therapy and haven’t touched a drop in almost five years. I honestly never will again, even on my death bed. The sense of self, control and accomplishment I gained from quitting was one of the most healing experiences of my entire life and my trauma healing skyrocketed after that. I realized my life was worth fighting for, I deserved help and love from others and myself. I can’t recommend it highly enough, you’ll love yourself more than You ever thought possible if you quit. You’ll handle stress, pain, depression, anger so much better than before and you’ll be proud of the person you’re giving to the world when you form healthy attachments.
I went on a date with an alcoholic and he started off sober and his energy was pleasant then he got drunk, for fun, and I become triggered by the slurring words, vacant expression and irrational behavior. It just killed he good vibes for me. I would rather have a pleasant even a boring time with a sober man than “party “ with a drunk.
Yep yep. I’m a recovering alcoholic and active in AA. It is a progressive disease. Anna’s daily practice compliments my AA step work. There is a solution and it starts with don’t pick up a drink! Get to a meeting and start the work! It’s sure better than being drunk.
My grandfather was a sober man who never had a drink. He suffered appalling abuse from his alcoholic father, in those days he was called "a tea totaler." My grandfather was damaged, he left the physical violence and squalor behind, but he was a scary and violent man. An alcoholic that never had a drink, a violent man that never assaulted anyone. He did the best he could with what he had.
Anna, your love for people and the wisdom that you so freely and willingly pass on, touches me deeply. Thank you for reminding me of the alcoholic’s struggle. I’m married to one (25 years), and tonight I again became dysregulated by the slurring words and irritating behaviour, but was glad of the reminder to get to my Daily Practice. Thank you. You feel like a true friend who brings real comfort and Hope, and who will always, in Love, be honest 🙏🏼
What a hopeful message! thank you for chiming here with your experience. I'm glad you're here!
I fit your description to a "t". I'm 24 years sober. It took years to get 30 days, so I was in my own prison for years. Then it years to connect the childhood to the co- dependency I continued to (hide).
I'm a person who seems to learn the hard way...but I'm free today.
This caller of yours is already ahead, if he's acknowledged the issue. Alcohol is no longer fun after that. I wish them all the peace to move forward in AA. It's where you need to start.
Thank you for sharing your experience!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I have no alcohol addiction, in fact I was born with a very low alcohol tolerance. Two drinks for me is "a lot", meaning the effect can be debilitating, now I recognize that I can become dysregulated very easily when drinking. Not always, but if there is any other stressors (like family around for example) it will quickly feel very unsafe to me. I realized following this Christmas that I simply cannot drink around family, it's not healthy for me or them. My family have these issues too, they are not alcoholic, but they have CPTSD I believe.
I recognise this. Using alcohol as destructive cooping for the underlying trauma is something I did and indeed ventilating ending up in a fight and ruining connections.
Gabor Maté talks about this. Addiction as a result of deep wounds.
If it is a big daily issue then AA can be good. I didn't do or need that. I use alcohol when I was triggered and overwhelmed. Honesty and clearity with myself that I have Complex Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome/Disorder and unconciously tried to sooth.
ACA or Coda is a good group to look at trauma, behaviours because of it.
And the daily practice of course 😊
Had a traumatic childhood and to get out I joined went to iraq and Afghanistan now I’m here. I’ve finally admitted to myself I have a problem
Alcoholism is drama. It is HOT, but not in a good way. Sobriety is subtle, cool, and can initially be experienced as a bit dull in comparison. But it's dullness with an underlying power. Don't expect sobriety to be some sort of instantly fabulous transformation. It's more like waking up from a bad dream or taking a walk through a disaster zone and then realizing. "That was me before. This is me now. How beautifully and exquisitely boring it is". But wait , keep going to those AA meetings or whatever, and you will experience the slowly unfolding effects and realize that you have you back!
I'm like you, drinking just makes me feel awful. I feel guilt that I am letting others down by refusing to partake, as some in my family are wine enthusiasts, they drink in such a lovely way, but for me, it's not lovely. Even a glass or two is debilitating, not always, but it's so risky. I'm turning 59 in two days, I'm going to be celebrating New Year and birthday with kombucha.
Usually saying I’m on medication that doesn’t mix with alcohol will get people to stop pressuring me to drink.
@@phoebehill953 that's brilliant!
Yay!! I'm with you, kombucha is safe and healthy too!
@@sheilagavin8281 I'm brewing my own, it's really delicious.
Kombucha is my friend too and I'm not set up to brew at the moment but I sure go through a lot of tart cherry booch! I save the sturdy amber bottle for a local prolific winemaker who loves to share sample packs of her wines with friends and neighbors. Kinda sad I no longer drink because she makes it from every tropical fruit she can grow or gather and I have a feeling it's fun and tasty. Love my kombucha though and look forward to brewing at home again in the future.
❤ I needed this. I am going to take the course and I am putting down the drink. Sooooo many things you share has brought me to this point. I am the woman who always went to the quick fix. It’s time to do the work.
Amazing! It is time to do the work. Jack@TeamFairy
Storms don’t last forever. - Unknown
Survival in today’s world is difficult. Therefore, we need to remember and practice some real-life skills to combat any situation that lay ahead of us.
Remember that life is actually a roller coaster ride, and we need to accept it as it comes. Nobody has seen the future, and therefore it is useless to overthink it.
Overthinking will not only ruin the present situation but also crush our confidence. Dedication and confidence are important in combating with any situation with complete stability of the mind.
Life is full of ups and downs, and we need to realize the fact that no matter what we do, problems are an essential part of human lives, and we need to live with them.
Try to find positivity even in negative situations in life. This will train our minds to find a solution in any adverse situation.
I was a secret keeper because of my families drunken violence. AA demands rigorous honesty now I can heal.
I'm glad I never got into alcohol nor drugs...mine was codependency
Excellent advice to Write and Meditate. And for those who are kinesthetic and have a hard time doing sitting/breathing meditation they can enjoy moving meditation forms such as yoga, qi gong or even walking meditation (walking slowly with focus on surrounding environment).
And for those who do not prefer the all-or-nothing AA approach there is a harm reduction program Moderation Management and a life coach Brooke Castillo who offers another route to re-normalize drinking (for those who are able to -- many can) having lost her father to alcoholism and her brother to drug addiction she's done a lot of research to understand addiction better than anyone else (including Gabor Mate, who gets a lot right but doesn't seem to understand the simple problem with the way our brains form habits and how to reprogram them.
When Anna talks about meditating after writing, she's referring to a specific sitting mediation after a specific writing protocol that together is the Daily Practice. So, moving meditation is great! But to be clear, it's not what she teaches as the specific technique designed to heal CPTSD. That said, I think many of us that use the DP also engage with a diversity of somatic practices like yoga, walking, breath work, and EMDR, as well as some folks having non-DP meditation practices. So many options to supplement and enhance the core work we do to heal our CPTSD. I'm glad you mention that there are other options for alcoholic healing communities. Thanks for that. 🌟
Well said. It's awkward when people say "I agree with what you said" as a preface to a contradiction to what I said.
Moderation management. Yes, many of the dead in my family were hopeful about that.
I have only been sober for 4 days. I hope can continue this. I grew up with a narcissistic mother. When I drink, all I do is ruminate about the trauma to others. My friends are sick of hearing me talk about my trauma. I just came to the realization that the common denominator for me bringing up my past trauma has been alcohol. I am not an alcoholic but when I do drink it does bring out the worst in me. I want to heal. I pray I can set boundaries with friends and not engage in drinking with them. It seems like it’s the only healthy option for me to continue to heal. Thank you for your videos! 🙏🏻 ❤
We're all rooting for you!
Nika@TeamFairy
Thank you Steave for sharing, you are brave, you can heal. Anna Is the best healer😇🤭❤
Thank you for the kind words. Jack@TeamFairy
I love you crappy Childhood Fairy Thank u so much for all u do
Thank you for the kind words. Jack@TeamFairy
I need a video about pushing others away Anna.
I drink only with massive triggers. One happened today where I'd been building up the courage in my healing to allow myself to take up space. I grabbed clothes to fold and hang up at 7 AM this morning and my boyfriend made a disgruntled remark about it. It hurt so bad. I spiraled and immediately met my belief system that I dont matter and im not allowed to take up space. He apologized and corrected himself. But I fell down. The weight of being shunned off after so much build up to be tough is exhausting. There has to be a better way to increase clarity in moments like these. He was trying to sleep and me flopping the clothes on the bed woke him up. I should have asked if it was OK. He was awake prior to this. But I didn't think quick enough about the task I wanted to complete and didn't communicate it. And he didn't communicate well when it bothered him. I relapsed!!! It seems so silly that my sobriety relapsed after something so minor. But I'm taking it as a learning lesson... be more aware of the people around you. And don't create massive meaning around little moments like this. If there are little moments of triggers understand they are little. I need better coping skills. And my mind gets so cloudy and my nervous system is thrown into a spiral. I tried ushering in my self awareness which is also still in recovery. Drinking sets it back I'm noticing. And I couldn't recover quicker than the attraction of addiction.
Your videos are so appreciated and important. You are doing great things for this community. I am 2 years sober today. I have navigated healing from a traumatic childhood and am no contact with my narcissist mother for 2 years now. While previously therapy was helpful a bit, not much but a bit…your channel has helped immensely with no judgement but compassionate nuggets of wisdom. I have navigated through many challenges much better and am able to provide myself with the validation I need to be more secure and assertive. I still make missteps and still have blind spots with relationships around me but committing to being sober has really helped me.
Congratulations on 2 years, that's a LOT of self-care in action.
-Cara@TeamFairy
The liver processes alcohol & produces a byproduct, estrogen. Permanent PMS.
Both my parents were alcoholics so I thought it was normal to drink alcohol all the time. I’m not sure if I have cptsd. I have 6 kids and my wife separated from me because of my alcohol use and my behaviours. When I quit drinking my behaviours were the same. Since i joined A.A 8 months ago I have realized my behaviours were toxic and did not see it before I started working on myself. I am trying to heal and be a better person but sometimes I feel like I am getting nowhere.
Trevor Arsenault just going to meetings is not going to give you the recovery you are seeking. If you don’t already have a sponsor get one, read the literature especially the Big Book and work the 12 steps with your sponsor.
It is a process. Praying for you and your family. To God be the glory.
You're doing it Trevor! You've taken important steps and found your way here. It can feel like a slog when you fall down and have to get back up again but that's how healing usually is: two steps forward, one back, a leap, a plateau, etc. Your path will be uniquely yours but you're on it. Keep going. You got this! 🌟
Maybe therapy will help with those behaviours. Maybe watch people like Dr. Gabor Mate and Jordan Peterson if you can't afford therapy. Meditation will also work wonders. Meditation practice eliminated my anger issues that I had growing up.
@@suras8984 perhaps you've found Peterson helpful somehow, but his misogyny is well known as he advocates for elements of toxic masculinity among other controversial philosophies. A Google search will yield much food for thought.
@@purplefireweed I don't let cancel culture dictate who I listen to or not unless it has to do with pedophilia and there is substantial evidence. Anyone who has watched his lectures or listened to his podcast or interviews in good faith knows he is not a misogynist. He has helped countless people including myself get my life together. He is a gem. In a world where politicians and academia will not even define what a woman is; I will certainly not let their consensus tell me who is a misogynist lol.
I think my mother has CPTSD, and also has issues with binge drinking. I think it went unnoticed through much of my childhood because she didn’t fit the description of an alcoholic. Unfortunately I think she uses the drinking to cope with her issues, and my mentally abusive, narcissistic dad, makes it worse, as he convinced everyone, including my mom, that he’s this “hero husband” that’s taken care of his “Drunk wife“.
She’s too enmeshed in all this to do what it really takes to deal with her drinking properly, which sucks because I love her and I think on her own she is a great person, she has just been convinced her entire life that she will never be better than this
I'm so sorry you've had to witness and put up with so much abuse, and hope you find healing here in CCFairyland. You deserve that. I wonder what would happen if you shared this video with your lovely mother? What if she recognizes herself and allows herself to take a first step knowing how much you have her back? AA has zillions of online and in person meetings--perhaps listening to Anna will be a spark!. I just wonder if she feels as touched and seen as so many of us in this community when she listens to Anna's honest and deeply compassionate and personal story here. Gently planting a seed could be a first glimmer of healing for your mother and family. Best wishes for deep healing. ❤️
AlAnon is a great program for people feeling helpless and hopeless about someone else's drinking. You need and deserve support!
-Cara@TeamFairy
In addition, you will meet many wonderful people in 12 step programs, who are actively trying to be better people! The Serenity prayer helps one deal with those moments you don't know how to navigate (yet). My X was a mean drunk, he never asked to marry me but he screamed that he wanted a divorce! Anytime we went out, I was the designated driver. Worse yet, I was the "girl with the drunk guy" not how I imagined love and life. Life gets better when we don't spend all our moments trying to avoid love. God bless you Steve, you are starting a new chapter in your life. God bless you Anna, you help us all in so many ways we can never fully express.
This is so scary. Anna you and your team are changing lives!! Thank you so very much 🙏🏾
Thanks for watching!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I am so grateful for you and the work you do Anna. You are a beacon of hope, light and warmth in this world. May it come back to you a thousand times over. Happy New Year
ooooh the background changed
AA meetings are a miracle and such a beautiful gift. It is NOT RELIGIOUS. It is spiritual but you are no required to believe in anything. I cannot say enough amazing things about AA and the gifts that come out of this program even after the alcohol is removed
Am am thankful for these videos. Please don’t keep going with the alcohol. I am 45 now and don’t even have a day sobriety and my life is cringe. Don’t end up like me, it isn’t cute and people become less forgiving with you. I hate AA. I have had bouts with it, but I hate it because I don’t know how to connect with people due to my trauma. Guess where I need to be? Crappy AA. Damn that sucks.
I wish we were friends
My parents were alcoholics, as was my maternal grandfather & paternal grandmother. I'm having a problem with drug addiction.
There is help for you in NA
-Cara@TeamFairy
I went to a meeting today but was too chicken to get a beginner chip. I’m going back tomorrow and asking for help. I needed to see this so badly.
You can do it! Good luck tomorrow!
Nika@TeamFairy
You speak truth!!! ❤
I do not drink...i hate the alcohol tastes.
I very much live in my head and with my upbringing I was introduced to alcohol fairly early. I luck out in some ways because I am fairly reserved and IDK if it's by nature or nurture by the time they started pushing me to drink their reasoning was always because I was too uptight. And that first time I got fully drunk thankfully it was at one of the parents' friend's parties because I joke that I almost died since my CL started in on me about my supposed misperception of being fat (I had normal amounts of body fat for a 13 year old) and drunk slippery mouthed me asked if that made her Shamo and I say fortunately it was in a group setting since her friends grabbed her as she lunged towards me just repeating "she's drunk, she doesn't know what she is saying" . Between that and private exploration during times when I wanted the negative brain stuff to shut off I learned that were I am when I start to drink is already guiding where I'll continue to go. So during my "party" year I had good people who understood a day when I showed up with a 40 was "yay fun let's party" and a day when I showed up with a 2 liter was "okay don't mess with her and let her just enjoy being around people." To be clear I am closer to 50 then I ever thought I'd get so all of this happened long ago in a world that's since changed shape and views.
I needed this thank you and you have it exactly correct the reason I drink it to connect with people and have fun because sober it seems almost impossible and to others that might not make sense if they don’t struggle with childhood ptsd and all the struggles it comes with when it comes to connecting with people. I actually just poured out a drink after a sip maybe it’s time to go to AA
Getting sober will change your life. There will still be bumps in the road but it is 100% worth it. Coming up for 8 1/2 years myself. Make the change.
Honestly it helped me with my anxiety and lead to many positive interactions for me, your mileage may vary
Alcoholic or not alcoholic...spiritual or not. anyone can benefit from 12 step work
I started drinking at the age of 12-although I would take my dad's beer to get his attention when I was a kid. He would chase me-it was fun for a minute. I don't drink currently. DP & The Crappy Childhood Fairy is a lifeline for me.
We're all sending you support :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I have never been into alcohol. I have many other isms. But alcohol has never done anything for me.
I needed to hear this message today. Thank you.
I’m experiencing this now as a reaction to others who drink - myself having been a drinker in the past , the behaviors you’re describing , to me since birth created a Limerance, a need to connect . I can see how that need for what’s empty missing obliterates valuing recognizing unconditional love expressed in kindness charity . How to heal this early need? To stop it’s numbing freeze obsession for it in whomever I look at , yet know better feel the escaping to avoid this pain .
Thank you Anna x
Thank you so much for this video.
Amazing video! Please make more videos about spouses of alcoholics and addicts in recovery, if you can…
My abusive parents never drank. They where hyper religious. I drink to forget but it back fires and i just cry. it's kind of funny that the hyper reglisones drove me to athesime hypocrisy was alive and thriving in my home
Anna, can the Daily Practice sometimes bring up things from the past that we have suppressed or bring to light the blank spaces of time in our childhood?
It doesn't bring things up, per se. It's a way you can name what IS up already, and put it on paper and release it.
Wow yes I drink a lot I’m trying to stop
Once a pickle, never a cucumber.........
It’s interesting what we’re learning about generations and trauma and addiction. But you can come up with a lot of outliers to argue against that first guy you mentioned who thinks ALL addiction is trauma. What about the collage kid who try’s coke at a party and spirals into alcoholism?
ACE’s trauma increases the likelihood, so too genetic predisposition, cultural and environmental normalization, mental health ties in too (also linked to ACEs), stress, poverty, adventure-seeking personalities, undiagnosed/untreated ADHD, brain injuries etc Lots of complex factors feed substance misuse, but trauma is a huge contributing factor. Emotional illiteracy too. Neglect from wealthy workaholic parents can be traumatic. The pain of being the least successful person in a family of successful people could be traumatic. Families can look perfect to the outside world, but you never know what goes on behind closed doors… A lot of financially fortunate children are raised by Nannies, go to boarding school or go to school early and stay late with after care. More time with caretakers than their actual parents. All that could be traumatic and prompt substance, or behaviour-based coping mechanisms e.g shopping, devices, work, sex, eating etc
Who knows what that kid is carrying inside from a long time ago. It would be really interesting to talk to people like that. It makes me think of the Rat Park study that showed that rats in cages with nothing in them but a cocaine water dispenser got very addicted. But the rats in cages with all the food, toys, mates, buddies, anything a rat could want, ignored the cocaine.
So i am taking your courses now but struggle with alcoholism from time to time mostly when it involves being around people and I find the connecting course helps but do you recommend going to AA first or can I do both? I saw somewhere you said you should get the addiction under control first
Screw it, do whatever might help you!
You can do both. AA is wonderful.
I’m confused, if you are not an alcoholic then why do you have to journal and go to AA?
Are you talking to me? I don't journal. I don't go to AA.
I find I'm eaily triggered RIGHT AFTER smoking some Sativa. Its like a 5 minute window of inflated emotion I was suppressing.
Do you like that feeling? I find all my insecurities become very loud in my head when I smoke. I can't touch it. I like MDMA to see through my inner bullshit. But it's not something I can do regularly.
@@Captain_MonsterFart do I like the brief moment of inflated emotion?
Only if it’s positive
@@Captain_MonsterFart Pot overall is calming I find
Sounds like it brings out any unresolved anxiety you’re subconsciously suppressing
I tend to stay away from the chemical mixes. Holistic Psychedelics are my cut off point.
Anna, you mention a daily practice that involves writing-what about people with ADHD? Daily writing isn't gonna work for me... Any accommodation ideas?? Thanks
It is for everyone. My kids did it at age 7.
I think I have ADHD and am having a lot of trouble with the meditation bit. Even five minutes seems to leave me frustrated. I like the writing part but it's hard to consistently do it every day. I guess it's just a habit to try to create. "Practice".
What are your thoughts on the Sinclair Method with naltrexone?
I am a year in and before I couldn't just have a few. Now I can take it or leave it. I have my slips but rare now are the times where I drink so much that I become a trauma monster. I blow up on my partner, I don't eat, my hygiene goes out the window. Before Naltrexone I would be a monster a few times a month. Progress isn't linear. However, the progress I have made is significant.
Important to note. I have been to rehab 2 times. Countless mandatory AA meetings and NA meetings. I tried hard but it didn't speak to me personally it was the God thing first but I decided to just believe in a higher power. Being a dry drunk would cause me to end up in the hospital from when I DO slip And have the idea in my head that "ok this is my last drinks make them count".
The sinclair method is said to have a higher percentage of recovery at 70%.
The method is not widely known because it's a slap to the rehabilitation industry. I found it from desperation and I am so blessed.
I do have a Dr. That is trying to work with me because she has never heard of the Sinclair method but is seeing my progress. Apparently it's been around since the 90s. It's crazy to me that something that really works isn't being shout from the mountain tops.
@@chirstopherj virginia
The persons letter is literally me 🙈 its when i drink alcohol and fortunately im not an alcoholic but i forget that i cant drink it... Im having to remember ❤️🩹