Performing for the Drunkest Audience Ever - Patton Oswalt
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- Опубликовано: 3 май 2019
- Patton Oswalt recalls performing for an incredibly drunk crowd at a casino - and being paid handsomely to do so.
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I was in the audience for the show this bit is about, he's 100% honest about it, and that still barely scratches the surface of it. He left out how often people would wordlessly get up from their seats, wiggle their way down their row, approach the stage and hand him gifts, such as a bottle of warm red wine. It was amazing.
how many $2 shots did you do?
...And THEN what happened??
@@cyanmanta I spent 40 dollars in quarters on a slot machine faster than I have anything in my life, sat back and said, "huh... this is gambling? Not m'cup of tea." Hahaha.
sure you were
Bracksis I’m jealous
That night club manager is the real hero in this story.
Don't forget the staff. Particularly janitorial.
She sounds like a real boss. Super holds very tenuous situations together and is good at crisis management. I'd have her on my team.
Totally--she manages to convince guest performers what they need to do without explaining why.
YES she is!
Haha yeah 😂
"I had my career screamed at me...I agreed with it...Then I said goodnight..."
“The magic of a pudgy guy whining about lord of the rings” lmfao
Samantha Bumgarner He was pudgy in the 6 th grade, currently he’s simply a “ fat ass”.
agreed. unequivocally right!
“SPACE COP! SPACE COP!”
“Yes.”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAH”
"BEST OF THE WORST: PLINKETTO #8!!!"
"Yes"
"AAAAAAAAARGHHHH!!!"
"MITTY! MITTY!"
"Yes, I was in that."
I clapped.
"DOWN PERISCOPE!"
"Yes."
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
I love how self aware he was by saying “I don’t want to ruin the magic”
I would gladly pay for a DVD of this casino performance.
Agreed!
@@JeannieMitchellMyers Your link leads to a 403 error page...
Jeannie Myers I’m supposed to idolize a comedian why? He tells funny jokes, I laugh, I don’t question anything else. End of story.
@@JeannieMitchellMyers Well I hope it's not covid-19 he is sick with. ALSO plz never click a link you don't trust. It's dangerous.
Scott Carlson I believe that’s a link to a PNG image. However not clicking on it cause you’re right, I think the “pedo” comment is in reaction to a comment Patton made about Finn Woldhard
My little three person children's theater act warmed up for Santa Claus at a Colorado Springs foster care Christmas party. We flopped in front of 500 sugar crazed screaming PTSD kids. I'll never forget the look on the guy playing Santa's face when he made it off stage. He collapsed, pulled out a flask of vodka, looked me in the face, and muttered "I feel like a bus accident."
That is easily one of the funniest comments I've ever seen here on RUclips. I truly hope this makes up for your night at that Christmas party, but I'm not sure if that's possible.
Im literally 10 minutes away from the casino he's talking about. I work at a car dealership a mile away. This sounds like an accurate representation of the casino
You wouldn't happen to know how much he got paid would you?
lamest claim to fame i've ever heard of, and my brother brags he was featured on hoarders (season 3)
@@soth1sol legit dude. I could drive there in 10ish minutes. I actually won like 200 bucks a couple months ago
@@3d_rios nope no idea. And im not friends with any of the employee's. The casino is really nice though. Place is like a giant palace. They have really dope restaurants i like their japanese one the best (cheap good sushi)
@@teddy5416 ty !!! I gotta check it out
$2 shots?!!?!?! That audience must have been destroyed lol
William Stewart We get Bacardi 151 shots here in Puerto Rico for a quarter in our college bars hehehehehe
"We need to go to O'Halligan's. It's nickel shot night."
"Oh, I think we'll die if we go to O'Halligan's." -John Mulaney
@@Canzandridas in a lot of urban areas in the US a cocktail is about $10-14, so a $2 shot would be quite a bargain.
Michael Conroy dang it! Ya beat me to it! 😂
By only...
6 months
@@justapoet2794 that's like the average price where I am from for something better, if you have something basic like gin or vodka shots it's like 1-1.4 bucks :D
Me, sloppy drunk: THE CITIZEN WHO FILIBUSTERED LESLIE KNOPE WITH A STAR WARS MOVIE PITCH ON PARKS AND REC
Patton Oswalt: ...Yes
LOL yes! This totally would have been me too!
GUY ON AGENTS OF SHIELD WHO WAS TRIPLETS OR SOMETHING!
RICK AND MORTY
"THE RAPE VAN GUY FROM SEASON 3 EPISODE 9 OF THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM!!!"
"...yes"
"WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
Missy Barbour ....Parks and Rec was such a bad, unfunny show...it needed better writers, that's god damn sure...
I love the cadence in his voice. Oswalt has fantastic comedic timing. What a beautiful combo
I work there....this is true
Is there a reason everyone is so very hammered? I've been to casinos, but they're never THAT bad...
@@conniemartinez3173 I think 2 dollar shots might be you're answer 😂
God bless you.
What's worst thing that's happened there? 😳
@@conniemartinez3173 they like to booze them up so they spend more
Reminds me of a great Patton Oswalt quote from a few years back:
"As far as I’m concerned, I sold out when I took that free plate of buffalo wings at Rumors Nightclub near Dulles Airport in the summer of 1989, at my first paid stand-up gig ($50 - I got the buffalo wings for hosting a belching contest afterwards). Ever since then, the only criteria for my career path is, “How entertaining will this be for me, and how much money can I get?”
Great self absorbed quote from a Billy goat gruff troll that belongs back under the bridge...aarrrghh!
@@BuildinWings
If Nobody Cares then why are posting with my name attached⁉️
Your behavior betrays you Sammy, and I appreciate how much you care about me! Such a nice guy you are to put a spotlight on me!
Badda-Bing! Badda-Boom!🤯😉👌
@@CaseyFinSF I think he meant nobody cares about anyone, like everyone in the world is self absorbed and doesnt care about anyone else, like a subconscious kinda thing, as if it were invisible, and smelled like carrots.
@@UnYin99 Hey, wassup Doc? Did I hear you say something about carrots?
I just want to say that I find it odd that someone is stating that something someone did reminds them of something ELSE that same person did. It just seems like it should be a non-starter. Like, "Hey man, Tiger Woods winning the PGA reminds me of that other time Tiger Woods won the PGA". I mean... it's related to the subject, but it feels uncannily redundant.
A friend of a friend was there that night, 100 percent confirms.
@@pasqualeliuzzi6744 wait... Wait...a comedian exaggerated something? You're shitting me!
@@pasqualeliuzzi6744 Literally nothing in that tweet proves he did anything other than what his story indicates. Go back to sleep.
You're telling me he could remember that night after all that booze? Seems fishy.
@@pasqualeliuzzi6744 Every party needs a pooper, that's why we invited you... party pooper... party pooper.
This makes me wanna go to a casino
Me: "DOWN PERISCOPE!!!"
Patton: "Yes."
Me: "AHHHHHH!!!!!!"
Somebody's read Silver Screen Fiend!
HE JUST WALKED OFF THE SUB!!! WOO!!!
His delivery of "And *then* what happened?" was where I realized this was going to be legendary.
I would have been the one drunk guy screaming "Blade Trinity!"
Or "Observe and Report"!! 😂😂
"Zoolander!"
He was in blade trinity? O_o
Team Kuuki Food & Games /r/whoosh
"JUSTIFIED!"
Patton always takes his audience on a journey, but this one is the best because also adds to his life's journey.
I’d be the one sober guy that actually wanted to see the show.
That’s what happened when I saw Fluffy. It was terrifying and uncomfortable
Same tho 🤣🤣🤣
@@justinbuergi9867 what happened?
@@justinbuergi9867 Huh?
@@G_FRE yeah. It was a surreal night
Me, a drunk intellectual: SEINFELD! SEINFELD! SEINFELD!
Patton: Yeah, one scene in an episode of Seinfeld back in ‘94.
Me: AHHHHHHHHGGGG!!
Which Seinfeld?
He worked at the video store! He was skinny then
Me: SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!
Patton: I was in ONE EPISODE of SpongeBob!
Me: AAAAAAHHHHHH
I love this story. Not only is it entertaining, but though it was bizarre at the time he was really getting paid for all the hard work he's put into his career over the years -- he was rewarded with recognition and monetary compensation for his body of work, which drew the crowd in that night. I'm really happy for him and hope he wasn't too disappointed the night of the show with the way it went.
The thing I love most about this bit is him acknowledging at the end how happy he made his audience. He’s describing his audience in the funniest way, but any idea you might have that he held them in contempt is washed away with that last line.
"I had my career screamed at me" XD
It was all building to this
"I agreed with it." - my favorite part
That gig paid for a whole year of college... He was not lying when he called it a sacriligious amount of money XD
It was the audience equivalent of a life time achievement award.
He was the PUNCHLINE. Lol
THAT is brilliantly clever.
LMAO
Master story teller. I love this guy.
Sorry for you then... he might be a masturbator, but never master of anything above that...
It's a shame he chooses to waste his talent on his stupid political bullshit. He has a lot of talent but he's such a whiny hypocritical manchild.
@@BuildinWings
Psssst... hey Sammy....can you feel it? I can hear your ego deflating with every letter you type..it sounds like this:
Wah! Wah! sniffle Wah! and are you looking for a nipple?
Badda-Bing! BADDA-BOOM!🤯
He is captivating. He even makes the mundane entertaining
@@cameronmarquiss9988 The only word in your last post that could be applied to this video would be mundane.
Wow that's cool just smile and wave and get paid that's awesome
you're a postive guy
It does sound awesome, but remember: Oswald worked his ass off for years to get to that point.
"Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave."
Casper Christensen lol you beat me to it
@@schwindsichtigaderechte5293 "Worked his ass off" where, at a Male strip club for the mentally gay? He's a self absorbed troll, nothing more, and a whole lot less. IMHO.... and many others!
(No offense meant to the LGBTQ community, I figured you'd have to be insane to be attracted to this scumbag...)
An un-Godly amount of money pays for 1 year of college. Ouch.
One hour of performance pays for one year of college. That's un-Godly.
@@brescia3701 Well, to be precise, one hour agreed to, half an hour of actual stage time.
Don't forget the drunken 15 minutes for the meet and greet
@@brescia3701 Got to have the meet & greet. Someone has to eventually assemble the "Key of Time" from them pics after all.
Steven Brescia 30 mins***
I love Patton Oswalt. The way he tells a story or performs a gig is honestly funny because it's true.
How do you feel now? 🤨🤦
"Drinking problem? No ma'am, I have a drinking solution!"
5:05 - "....and THEN what happened...???" Cracks me up EVERYTIME!!!
Close your eyes and Remy from Ratatouille is doing stand up. That’s beautiful man
🇮🇩 And Jesse in Minecraft Story Mode 😉
This sounds like Tuesday in Northern Wisconsin.. except it happens at noon.
My husband laughs so much when he watched Patton. Like his stomach Muscles contractions can’t stop.
Dang if hes over here having convulsions over this guy he'd probably die watching theo von
I live in Marysville. Been to Tulalip lots of times. Sounds exactly how that night would have gone.
You know you’ve got a good economic system when the richest, drunkest 50 year olds can pay a casino to pay 250k for a celebrity to go up on stage and be screamed at for 30 min
That's because they all hang out in the same club f ya get my drift..check it out..You can't make this stuff up. I bet he will be the NEXT Harvey Weinstine! cdn.qmap.pub/images/5b9a759d47f583c2bf3996fa009731d188c2011eb94b328ebff6fb3b08567027.png
And in that same system 30+million people cannot do anything but take over the counter medicine for anything they contract or go into bankruptcy just to survive.
I hope you were being sarcastic.
It is the best system ever devised by man.
@@jcspoon573 That makes no sense.
@@jcspoon573 ofc he was
*this* is why he's on a short list of the greatest comedians working today. brilliantly constructed, superbly told
The drunkest people ever. And I was in a frat in college and I've been to a Russian wedding.
"I had my career screamed at me" lmfao... I lost it . Good stuff thanks for content
It's nice to see Patton smile. We all have been worried about him since his wife passed.
He got remarried a year later. His first wife was sick for a long time and asked that he keep his mourning short and be open to finding love again. His second wife is Meredith Salenger.
@@ReapTheWhirlwind McNamara died in her sleep on April 21, 2016 in her family's Los Angeles home. According to the autopsy report released online by Radar, her death was due to the effects of multiple prescription drugs (including Adderall, Xanax and the pain medication fentanyl). According to the same article, several of the medications were not prescribed to McNamara, and other drugs, including cocaine and levamisole, were also found in her possession. Previously undiagnosed atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease (heart disease) was a contributing factor. The coroner ruled it an accidental overdose.
This was before she died.
@@ReapTheWhirlwind His first wife was NOT sick for a long time, never asked him to do that, and the only part that is accurate is that he married Meredith Salenger.
What a hilarious collection of replies from people who seem to have no idea what they're talking about dealing with something that is none of their business....
A very funny and interesting story, and it's heartening to hear that Patton's first thought after receiving that much money was about paying for his daughter's college as opposed to buying a luxury item. I imagine, though, it might be a bit awkward for Alice (I believe that's her name) when she does go to college (if she hasn't already):
Fellow Student: "So, are you gonna get a job while here at college?"
Alice: "Possibly, but I don't really have to worry about student loans."
FS: "That must be nice. What do your parents do?"
A: "Well, my mom was a true-crime author, and my dad gets paid to have people scream at him."
Me: [drunkenly yells] Young Adult! We Bare Bears! Weird Al's Foil Music Video!
OBSERVE AND REPORT! KIM POSSIBLE! THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY!
Jonbutter My Little Pony! Aqua Teen Hunger Force!
Archer! Spongebob! Futurama! And a live action cameo in Fairly Oddparents!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!’
WE BARE BEARS yesss!! Also COMMUNITY!
That resort was trying to poison that audience
I will bet that when they are that drunk the drinks are mostly H2O
I bet they were all in a very gambling mood.. and lost dearly. rip
Resort 😂
They paid good money to be poisoned...
Sure, blame on the "resort". It's not like they were all adults who could make their own decisions or anything. Oh, wait.....
"...and I've never made an audience happier."
It kind of sounds like the $2 shots actually had the most to do with that.
This solidifies what I've always told people about Western Washington and particularly where I grew up in the Puget Sound Region.
I've traveled all over the country, and I've never witnessed crazier people than where I grew up.
God bless America
Me, dunk: "I AM A WIZARD YOU WILL ALL DIE"
Patton: "Yes"
Me: "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Patton is just a hell of a story teller. One of the best. Funny as hell.
A sacrilegious amount of money: one year of college............... Hold on
which college even?
For a lot of private schools that's 50 grand
Well it was for only an hours worth of work.
If it paid for a year of his daughter's tuition then it probably seemed sacrilegious to him.
I love this guy. Always a stand up act. He is good people.
I'm soooo glad he's come out of retirement. One of my favorites!
Patton Oswalt, your shows are indeed magic to me. Love your gift!
The Key of Time
it fits in my ass
A Doctor Who reference, love him!
@@marcusdamberger Not just ANY Doctor Who reference, but a Tom Baker Doctor Who reference! Best Doctor of all time! :)
When I really need to laugh, I come back to this story quite often.
Dude this casino is 30 minutes away, Ive heard it’s a nice hotel too. But I didn’t realize it was worthy of this amazing story😂
Durbin from AP bio!!!!!
Patton: ....Yes..
AHAHAHAHHH~HHH!!!
HAPPY FROM HAPPY!!!
Patton: ....Ok..
crowd: (fucking explodes)
He’d have to do 33 minutes now to fit in the new credits.
This guy did a comedy set _about_ a comedy set and nailed it xD
I still randomly shout KING OF QUEENS! KING OF QUEENS!
This guy has always been hilarious!! Great talent!!
This is my all time favorite bit of his. It’s just awesome 👏
After this in this stand-up, he mentions that that was the moment in his career where he got the offer to sell out. The casino loved him and said that if he wanted, he could do that every weekend for the same rate. He knew that was the crossroads where he could have been set for life as a total sellout. He felt proud that he turned it down.
This all takes place less than 2 hours away from the comedy club in Surrey, BC where he spent the "worst eleven days of his career", getting ripped off by a cokehead club owner and bombing on stage night after night. Look how far the man has come. It's possible (albeit unlikely) that he could have driven up to Surrey that same night, kicked open the door of that nightclub, and told that guy to kiss his Grammy-winning ass.
Patton Oswalt you are hilarious. So glad to see you happy ☀️
A whole year of college paid for in thirty minutes by standing on stage and saying "yes"
THE SERIES WITH THE PONIES!!!!
Patton: "Wow.... you're a Brony? Ummm but yes."
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHZXSERTBCYRWSOXORIPEJVETYU3T49ER924T2.
Patton Oswalt is one of my favorite comedians of all time. I would so love to see him live.
I love this story it cheers me up every time I hear it.
Great comedian and comedy actor always makes me cry with laughter
This is a modern-day classic!
I love any Patton story..he a master story teller
Key of Time. Thank you for the unexpected Doctor Who reference.
One of the best stories ever..... Legend
My hometown 🤣 We're all proud to be sketch af!
This is one of my top 3 fav patton jokes of all time
I love hearing this story every time. Patton is a real knock out of not just a comedian, but a story teller.
Sounds to me like the perfect gig.
I know; I’d try to make it a regular part of my year
@@Sunset553 True dat! Make it a regular gig for next 3 years and pay for 4 years of university for daughter!
I'd be trying to make it there once a month if they'd let me!
Gotta admire his spunk: 50 years old and Still two bedrooms and one bathtub.
What a fantastic storyteller!
All my love to you Patton. I know your life challenges and yet you're one of the funniest people on the planet. You're my fucking hero!
I love you Patton! What a hilarious experience! It wrote itself! 😅😂🤣Thank you for sharing it with us!
✌❤🙋♀
This guy is one of the greatest
I wish I could have been sober watching this, I would have been cackling by the emptied bar xD
Sounds like the coolest event management ever.
I come back to this video whenever I need a good laugh
DITTO!!!
And this. This is why you work smart. So later, you don't have to work hard.
Great stuff. But its noteworthy that an "Obscene+" amount of money still pays for only 1 year of college. In my day it would have been enough for 2 years!
Bruh this dude should be the penugin in batman
You do know he played the Penguin in a College Humor Batman sketch, right?
Oh man I was there the night of this taping in San Diego during SDCC. I was on like no food and sleep and didn’t remember most of it, but this bit had me laughing hysterically
He is a great storyteller 👍👍👍
Tulalip casino, Pronounced Two Lay Lip.... thems folks is crazy down there
I was fixin' to say that he mispronounced the name! It's a lovely casino, very beautiful.
Washington native here...Can confirm... ^
@@CameronLegend You should maybe check you spelling, or stop claiming to be from Seattle.
@@CameronLegend well next time your in Marysville, right next door to Tulalip, maybe ask anyone around how to pronounce it. And when you correct them don't be surprised when ya get laughed out of town
@@CameronLegend Grow up this is neither amusing or clever, just the kind of dumb ass that tries to correct someone on how to spell their own name.
It's "Too-Lay-Lip"...that said I love this
This guy is a pure legend he's so short but he can pull that off cause he's very wise and cool asf and seems like a very humble guy,he will always still be Spence from King of queens still sharing a bedroom with his mother,now days he owns the bedroom and have his mother as a visitor lmfao🤣 this guy one of my fav comedians
OMG no matter what they paid him, it was worth it for them. I am going to Seattle for work, and I am making a stop at this casino only because of this story. I don't even really like casinos, but they may make their money back on me alone, and all the others who are now doing the same.. LOL
Kings ,& queens of comedy.
Best stand up I've seen so far!
I'm sorry
@schef61 That's about right... steer him away from Carlin tho because his head might explode!🤯🤯🙄🤯🤯👀🤬🤬
Please, frats and Russian weddings don't hold a candle to a weekend in an US Army infantry barracks.
Yeah except the frats don’t have to be up bright and early Monday morning
Used to be a drive-in theater in that spot. Everyone was drunk then too.
CaptainNice hahaha
Me: ThE hoRse froM Horsin aroUnD but You wErenT thE Horse yOu WeRe the penGUin thAt likeD boOkS
Patton: Yes.
Me: AAAAAAAAH
I love this guy!!!