When you’re lonely, don’t act lonely. I know that’s hard but it’s real advice. DON’T act lonely. Don’t over correct and act over confident. Best thing to do is be an authentic version of yourself hold the desperation.
@@ChristinaAaliyah yes and no. Technically, even when you’re not acting lonely and being authentic, it’s an act in and of itself. It’s just that nobody wants to be friends with or see that desperate part of you. You don’t even want to be there but it’s a natural normal feeling to have. Express it overtly alone, get a therapist to vent it out if needed but showing prolonged desperation to people you want around you repels healthy connections with people. You could have a friend who actually cares and showing desperation over time gets exhausting because likely your friend wants to help but it’s out of their control and if you sulk in the desperation, it’ll start to weigh on them too. Yea, good topic, definitely thought provoking.
TRUE. I think being chronically online has made us very… hmmm…arrogant. We feel we know better than everyone else sometimes, or we set unrealistic expectations for others and so we do it to ourselves too. If we’re all holding each other to impossible standards it’s gonna be impossible to make friends with anyone. 2:47 Yes boundaries are so important. You should be able to just exist and even not be super loud or quiet all the time to matter.
With setting boundaries, it’s not going to be as big of a deal as you think with 99% of people. If they react negative then it’s probably a sign they weren’t a good friend
Hypercritical people, or people who insult me off the bat turn me off personally. Some banter is cool but genuinely taking digs at people who are STRANGERS. Is just insane to me 😐 at least know someone for an hour
That makes a lot of sense. I was wondering why a long-term friendship of mine fizzled out and it's because I lost respect for this person and just didn't feel like hanging out with them anymore. They are a very likeable person, friendly, chatty but we had little in common anymore and I decided to just let it fade out. I think likability is still important but I get it. There was nothing 'wrong' but there was little 'right'.
Who cares about being liked when you can be like me, win the arguments, and be respected and twice as liked as a result of it Being right > being liked. Which is why I’ve generally been liked by people with common sense and disliked by people with their own separate agenda
Wow, my heart feels like it's breaking. I'm happy that I've finally seen what I need to do to stop giving too much to people. I give my whole heart to people only to just be ignored. I tried my best to be nice to the boy I liked despite him acting like a big ass and yet he still didn't pick me. I already knew I didn't like myself but this video made me discover how lonely I am and thank you because your video gave me a fresh new perspective I've been yearning for. I could never say no to people and it always felt like a part of me dies each time it happens but now I know that if I'm saying no, it's not to start conflict, it's not that I'm being a mean and selfish person but because I HAVE TO COMMUNICATE HOW THEY'RE MAKING ME FEEL! But yet i feel scared at least now i can try to communicate with my supposed 'friends' but how can i say no to a stranger?
I relate to wanting to seem cool and liked by popular people. I care too much of what others think of me because I don’t want people to think I’m weird. Idk I really want to stop feeling this way and not talk out of fear of coming off a certain way
Being respected has more merit than seeking validation from everyone. Those who have respectful characteristics have others gravitating towards them. They're perceived as leaders. Most people pleasers sacrifice themselves to be liked by everybody. The biggest con is emotional trauma. People tend to run game on those they don't respect. It's possible to be pleasant and respectful. At the end of the day, we didn't come on this planet to please people. We came here to figure out the complexities of life.
my problem is so complicated I don’t think I’m a people pleaser naturally , but I keep trying to go along with what they’re doing and sacrificing my own needs because I feel like I need to do that for us to become closer and have a deeper relationship. I just feel like I shouldn’t be demanding things when they’re kind of accommodating me. The worst part is they’re nicest people ever I mean, sometimes I do feel left out, but really they’ve been way nicer than a lot of people have been to me so I’m just trying my best to go with their flow in hopes that we would become closer and I wouldn’t have to manage myself eventually. And then maybe I’d start to feel like I had more of a say in the friendship group Well I thought that would happen when I first came into the group, but it’s been five months and we really haven’t gotten any closer I still feel like I’m being accommodated because I don’t have anywhere else to go. They don’t want to be mean so they’re just letting me stay even though I don’t really add anything to the friendship. I wouldn’t say I’m the biggest fan of the environment they’re around, but I really thought I could manage and maybe throw myself out there a bit more They’re not mean to me we’ve had good moments we’ve talked, but then I feel like I’m being pitied. Through this whole summer, I’ve only talked to them once So I wouldn’t say I’m keeping in touch either I thought of Distancing myself, but then I would have literally no one Obviously, you’ve always said that we should be comfortable with being alone which really wouldn’t have been a problem for me because I’m not one to have too many friends but I’ve moved to a new country. With new systems Everything is just so different and It’s just quite difficult navigating things on your own. Leaving now means I’d have to find someone else that I resonate with Because I really can’t do this whole thing alone But it’s hard finding someone else And As much as I’ve thought about leaving, it just doesn’t seem like logical thing to do I really do need the help 😢 I can’t afford to just leave now. I’m stuck and I not sure if I’m being too needy about it Now that we’re moving up years, we’re probably not gonna be in the same classes anymore, which is going to make this whole friendship keeping thing a lot harder Feels good to let that out Your videos have been quite helpful to me so far, especially increasing my confidence through this ongoing experience thank you so much
heyy isobel if you're hanging out with people where you have to sacrifice your needs, + they're making you worry + talking to you once over the summer, i'd have a think about whether you want to be friends with them long term it sounds like they're nice sometimes but not so much other times, so i wouldn't say you have to cut them off completely i know you're in a new country and want people around for now, that's okay, but i'd have a think about branching out and meeting new people when your friendships are all in one basket, it makes it even more stressful to stand up for yourself and do what's right, bc like you said, if you did that you would literally have no one it's possible a major reason why you feel a lot of pressure in this situation is bc they're you're only friends, meeting more people will help, even if it doesn't lead to more friendships branching out more at work/school, at the gym, with family, reconnecting with old friends, saying yes to social invites can help you realise: they are not your only option
I completly agree. The best answer i just to choose your people Someone made a simulation game of a population with people of different level of generosity. With time, the first who fall are the most agreable because they end up deprived of resources. The second to fall are the most egoistic (less agreable) since they lost energy trying to get the most resources. The ones who survive are those who are more or less agreable It was also shown that a society of agreable people is really prolific and productive. You can apply that in your life by choosing people that match your energy and creating a mini society inside the biggest one. Allow the giver and reject the takers👌
Soo, I have this story about someone in my friend group, who I started to know a bit better and I discovered that he has a kind of toxic behavior, especially when he talks to me. We are art students of the academy, I LOVE my studies and I'm always excited to meet someone who draws too, so we can talk about it. He is someone who is actually good at art! I don't consider myself a bad artist, but I am EXTREMELY insecure, when I mean EXTREMELY I mean that when someone assumes things about my personality that aren't true, I get so frustrated like “I am the problem, if I talk about drawing maybe it seems like that I vain” I love drawing and I don't consider myself a perfect artist, but by far ,I've always been told by my teachers that I have good art skills. He started to get a but too comfortable with me and started to 1) ignore me when I talk unless my other friends tell him to answer 2) started to judge me and every request I say, for them it's something obvious or stupid 3) they see me as someone “dumb”. But yesterday, after days of these things we were eating sushi with my other friends and one of them asked me to draw a tattoo on him, the subject was a picture of one of my good friends, the one who,wanted a tattoo. I told this other friend of me “sorry the proportions are not perfect but it was so fun tu do! It's not that bad but it could be better” and he was satisfied!(Remember that sentence) Then suddenly The bad friend started to draw a tattoo TOO on one of my other friend’s arm, he drew a flower. He is really good at drawing and I've always told him that, he is in car design and I am in graphic design, he is 2 years older than me, I’ve talked to him a lot in the group chat and he understood that I am a person that takes jokes seriously, so he stared to make pranks (not bad pranks but good pranks and funny ones and I would laugh a lot) but he never COMPLIMENTS anyone , especially me, when they achieve a success while I do it everytime even with him, I’ve just heard one time, I think to the girl that he is interest in my group, she asked us if she should do a hairstyle (she is such a good person to me) and he said “yes you would look good” Coming back to the sushi dinner… Then…jokingly as I did many times with my art buddies, since we both like drawing and he was drawing a tattoo too I told him “ehy it would be fun to do a drawing match! It's gonna be interesting”😏 I was like “I have your same passion let’s be friends!” But He told me things that really hurt me, he said “Please don't ever do a match about drawing with me cause I will win 100%” And I told him are you sure? Jokingly (I thought he was saying that in a funny way cause after the pranks he made me I can’t understand if some things are said seriously or not ) Then he said “anny please lower down your self esteem, fly down you are a bit embarrassing, the proportions of your drawing are all wrong, I am better always “ he didn't say that ironically, but EVERYONE found him arrogant IT WAS FUCKING DRAWN ON AN ARM WAS IT REALLY NECESSARY? I KNEW THAT THE PROPORTIONS WERE WRONG!! But I was about to cry I felt like shit for the whole evening, one of my friends told him that he wasn't that good by doing that comment in a,funny way, I even felt like throwing up for the anxiety after dinner and I just wanted to go home because It made me feel so bad. The previous days, he said that I wasn't a good graphic designer because I didn't know many car brands (he is not in the graphic designer major) and he said that he didn't trust my judgement but just the others judgment, even from people that don't do graphic design but other majors!! I Ve always been told that my works were one of the best in my class, but I don't consider myself a perfect graphic designer either!! How!! I always say “I just like showing the things that I love or when I am satisfied with something I like to show it, but I NEVER CONSIDER myself better than others or I would Never put others down to bring myself up” AS HE DOES My good friends told me that they don't like his behavior too, and they are kind of scared of him, so I CALMED MYSELF SOO MUCH since i discovered I am not the problem , but I am still so insecure about me. I was about to cry for real, but my good friends comforted me so much I am so grateful to have them since they know I'm so anxious about myself. They kinda told me that it may be that this person is jealous of me? This person sees me as a obstacle because he found someone with his same skills? Idk What do you think? Is it a bit narcissist? A bit jealous? After this I understood that maybe the universe wanted me to set boundaries and make me learn the hard way , “Anny you are giving too much even to him, this is a sign to be more “by yourself “ He did cross the line! he fuckinh did, I will never ever let anyone do this to me anymore! Some people even told me that he may be in love with me? What a strange thing to demonstrate love?? And I don’t think this is true cause one of my friends told me that last time they went to the beach ( I couldn’t go) he talked to this person that we think he likes for the whole dinner and she couldn’t handle it anymore 😂 some of my friends don’t like him too. I would be so satidpsfied to tell him once “ you fuking cross the line” but I just prefer right now to not have any interaction with him to avoid feeling bad again and to let him understand that he should just not joke with me anymore. I am special THIS VIDEO CAME IN THE RIGHTEST TIME
i was lit talking about this yesterday and somehow youtube reads my mind, all those tips from other influencers such as ask questions, keep but dont keep eye contact etc.. just makes people like you not respect because it makes you look like a chaser so people immediately see you as less than them and not a friend but a second option when they are bored, what matters is not caring what others think and being confident - not let them walkover you thats what will make you attract people instead
Oh man this first minute is hitting home. Just lost a friend through text and the things they said showed they had pent up resentment.. People don't respect me, they enjoy my energy though. That's kind of it.
@@marcusmcgraw3519 bad advice lol. You can't make people respect you. You only recognize disrespect and cut them off. If people disrespect you, it's not your fault because people will try you. However if people disrespect you all the time then you need evaluate who you are hanging with but you don't change
Can we also talk about when you meet someone new and you meet their friends and you’re LITERALLY not filled in on the *friendship lore* so you feel lacking big time and even more like a piece of dung?
I came across this video and I don’t know whether the type of person u are talking about applies to me or not. I used to have a big circle of friends but it fizzled down to 2 groups. In my smaller group, 2 of my friends were starting to make other friends that they would eventually spend more time with, to the point where one even hanged out with a whole other group for a while. Because of this and other things, I haven’t been able to consider any one of my friends as a best friend until recently. This best friend considers me very helpful (I quote, he wrote in a birthday letter ‘you in 3 words: helpful, humble, honest’.) In essence, I feel like I do a lot for my friends but at the same time I feel like I don’t do enough (especially when receiving gifts, I feel guilty in a way if I ever receive them). Does anyone else feel this way?
sounds like you have a good best friend rn, considering the way he described you . feeling guilty receiving gifts is v common, and probably shows you don't feel deserving, it happens when we've been treated poorly in the past, when we finally get good treatment it feel unusual, even if it it's what we deserve. it will get better with time i promise
@@ChristinaAaliyahI 100% agree. As someone who is more respected than liked, it is much easier to discredit the ones who don’t like you as coming from an inferior position. People are more willing to listen as a result
@@ChristinaAaliyah Definitely respect carries more weight. Even in laws of power it is better to be feared than liked. Being liked ranks low on the social totem pole. Strive for respect more than anything. A lot of things depend on respect. @ChristinaAaliyah keep up the good work. Your content is informative and helpful.
I think u need to remember that the goal is not to have everyone liking you but having everyone respect you. Confidence means that you are not liked by every person you know, but you are okay with it.
Everyone feels lonely sometimes. Be kind to yourself. You are the only you you've got! Take yourself out to lunch, buy yourself flowers, buy your favourite perfume and be your own cheerleader. its actually quite fun to be your own best friend darling!
What I don't like about this video is that it assumes that being respected versus being liked as a choice and it's not. Earning someone's respect is easy or impossible as earning someone's love, i.e. it's entirely not up to you. Nor should you feel bad, or that you personally did something wrong that nobody loves/ respects you. If you need an example look at Jesus Christ himself. He was literally the son of God, but did anybody give a sh*t? No! He was betrayed by one of his closests disciples, and crucified like a petty thug anyway. A lot of people that are now celebrated in death received little to no respect in life, and we are no different. Being liked however is something that you can change about yourself. You can be less weird, more confident, more attractive, earn more money, etc. all of that superficial stuff you can change. Anybody tells you do X-->Y --> Z, and people will respect you, it's antedotal at best, gaslighting at worse. The real advice here is to don't waste time on people whom you do not respect. Then if there's at least one person left on that list, try your best to get them get them to like you, and if they don't then rinse & repeat, until you find someone who does.
When you’re lonely, don’t act lonely. I know that’s hard but it’s real advice. DON’T act lonely. Don’t over correct and act over confident. Best thing to do is be an authentic version of yourself hold the desperation.
totally, putting on an act only makes you feel more alone
@@ChristinaAaliyah yes and no. Technically, even when you’re not acting lonely and being authentic, it’s an act in and of itself. It’s just that nobody wants to be friends with or see that desperate part of you. You don’t even want to be there but it’s a natural normal feeling to have. Express it overtly alone, get a therapist to vent it out if needed but showing prolonged desperation to people you want around you repels healthy connections with people. You could have a friend who actually cares and showing desperation over time gets exhausting because likely your friend wants to help but it’s out of their control and if you sulk in the desperation, it’ll start to weigh on them too. Yea, good topic, definitely thought provoking.
dont act too perfect. youre human. You have emotions too
100%
TRUE. I think being chronically online has made us very… hmmm…arrogant. We feel we know better than everyone else sometimes, or we set unrealistic expectations for others and so we do it to ourselves too. If we’re all holding each other to impossible standards it’s gonna be impossible to make friends with anyone.
2:47
Yes boundaries are so important. You should be able to just exist and even not be super loud or quiet all the time to matter.
With setting boundaries, it’s not going to be as big of a deal as you think with 99% of people. If they react negative then it’s probably a sign they weren’t a good friend
Hypercritical people, or people who insult me off the bat turn me off personally. Some banter is cool but genuinely taking digs at people who are STRANGERS. Is just insane to me 😐 at least know someone for an hour
That makes a lot of sense. I was wondering why a long-term friendship of mine fizzled out and it's because I lost respect for this person and just didn't feel like hanging out with them anymore. They are a very likeable person, friendly, chatty but we had little in common anymore and I decided to just let it fade out. I think likability is still important but I get it. There was nothing 'wrong' but there was little 'right'.
Who cares about being liked when you can be like me, win the arguments, and be respected and twice as liked as a result of it
Being right > being liked. Which is why I’ve generally been liked by people with common sense and disliked by people with their own separate agenda
hot take
Nah mate, i can tell you're a smartass by this comment. Do some actual reflecting lad 😂😂
Wow, my heart feels like it's breaking. I'm happy that I've finally seen what I need to do to stop giving too much to people.
I give my whole heart to people only to just be ignored. I tried my best to be nice to the boy I liked despite him acting like a big ass and yet he still didn't pick me.
I already knew I didn't like myself but this video made me discover how lonely I am and thank you because your video gave me a fresh new perspective I've been yearning for.
I could never say no to people and it always felt like a part of me dies each time it happens but now I know that if I'm saying no, it's not to start conflict, it's not that I'm being a mean and selfish person but because I HAVE TO COMMUNICATE HOW THEY'RE MAKING ME FEEL!
But yet i feel scared at least now i can try to communicate with my supposed 'friends' but how can i say no to a stranger?
a lotta people making these kinds of videos out there, but i appreciate your style the most. keep it up.
thank you i appreciate it
I relate to wanting to seem cool and liked by popular people. I care too much of what others think of me because I don’t want people to think I’m weird. Idk I really want to stop feeling this way and not talk out of fear of coming off a certain way
Being respected has more merit than seeking validation from everyone. Those who have respectful characteristics have others gravitating towards them. They're perceived as leaders. Most people pleasers sacrifice themselves to be liked by everybody. The biggest con is emotional trauma. People tend to run game on those they don't respect. It's possible to be pleasant and respectful. At the end of the day, we didn't come on this planet to please people. We came here to figure out the complexities of life.
my problem is so complicated
I don’t think I’m a people pleaser naturally , but I keep trying to go along with what they’re doing and sacrificing my own needs because I feel like I need to do that for us to become closer and have a deeper relationship. I just feel like I shouldn’t be demanding things when they’re kind of accommodating me.
The worst part is they’re nicest people ever I mean, sometimes I do feel left out, but really they’ve been way nicer than a lot of people have been to me
so I’m just trying my best to go with their flow in hopes that we would become closer and I wouldn’t have to manage myself eventually. And then maybe I’d start to feel like I had more of a say in the friendship group
Well
I thought that would happen when I first came into the group, but it’s been five months and we really haven’t gotten any closer
I still feel like I’m being accommodated because I don’t have anywhere else to go. They don’t want to be mean so they’re just letting me stay even though I don’t really add anything to the friendship. I wouldn’t say I’m the biggest fan of the environment they’re around, but I really thought I could manage and maybe throw myself out there a bit more
They’re not mean to me we’ve had good moments we’ve talked, but then I feel like I’m being pitied.
Through this whole summer, I’ve only talked to them once
So I wouldn’t say I’m keeping in touch either
I thought of Distancing myself, but then I would have literally no one
Obviously, you’ve always said that we should be comfortable with being alone
which really wouldn’t have been a problem for me because I’m not one to have too many friends
but I’ve moved to a new country. With new systems
Everything is just so different and It’s just quite difficult navigating things on your own.
Leaving now means I’d have to find someone else that I resonate with
Because I really can’t do this whole thing alone
But it’s hard finding someone else
And As much as I’ve thought about leaving, it just doesn’t seem like logical thing to do
I really do need the help 😢 I can’t afford to just leave now. I’m stuck and I not sure if I’m being too needy about it
Now that we’re moving up years, we’re probably not gonna be in the same classes anymore, which is going to make this whole friendship keeping thing a lot harder
Feels good to let that out
Your videos have been quite helpful to me so far, especially increasing my confidence through this ongoing experience
thank you so much
heyy isobel
if you're hanging out with people where you have to sacrifice your needs, + they're making you worry + talking to you once over the summer, i'd have a think about whether you want to be friends with them long term
it sounds like they're nice sometimes but not so much other times, so i wouldn't say you have to cut them off completely
i know you're in a new country and want people around for now, that's okay, but i'd have a think about branching out and meeting new people
when your friendships are all in one basket, it makes it even more stressful to stand up for yourself and do what's right, bc like you said, if you did that you would literally have no one
it's possible a major reason why you feel a lot of pressure in this situation is bc they're you're only friends, meeting more people will help, even if it doesn't lead to more friendships
branching out more at work/school, at the gym, with family, reconnecting with old friends, saying yes to social invites can help you realise: they are not your only option
@@ChristinaAaliyah
thank youu so much for the advice
I’ll try my best 💪🥹
I completly agree. The best answer i just to choose your people
Someone made a simulation game of a population with people of different level of generosity. With time, the first who fall are the most agreable because they end up deprived of resources. The second to fall are the most egoistic (less agreable) since they lost energy trying to get the most resources. The ones who survive are those who are more or less agreable
It was also shown that a society of agreable people is really prolific and productive. You can apply that in your life by choosing people that match your energy and creating a mini society inside the biggest one. Allow the giver and reject the takers👌
Soo, I have this story about someone in my friend group, who I started to know a bit better and I discovered that he has a kind of toxic behavior, especially when he talks to me.
We are art students of the academy, I LOVE my studies and I'm always excited to meet someone who draws too, so we can talk about it. He is someone who is actually good at art! I don't consider myself a bad artist, but I am EXTREMELY insecure, when I mean EXTREMELY I mean that when someone assumes things about my personality that aren't true, I get so frustrated like “I am the problem, if I talk about drawing maybe it seems like that I vain”
I love drawing and I don't consider myself a perfect artist, but by far ,I've always been told by my teachers that I have good art skills.
He started to get a but too comfortable with me and started to 1) ignore me when I talk unless my other friends tell him to answer 2) started to judge me and every request I say, for them it's something obvious or stupid 3) they see me as someone “dumb”.
But yesterday, after days of these things we were eating sushi with my other friends and one of them asked me to draw a tattoo on him, the subject was a picture of one of my good friends, the one who,wanted a tattoo.
I told this other friend of me “sorry the proportions are not perfect but it was so fun tu do! It's not that bad but it could be better” and he was satisfied!(Remember that sentence)
Then suddenly The bad friend started to draw a tattoo TOO on one of my other friend’s arm, he drew a flower.
He is really good at drawing and I've always told him that, he is in car design and I am in graphic design, he is 2 years older than me, I’ve talked to him a lot in the group chat and he understood that I am a person that takes jokes seriously, so he stared to make pranks (not bad pranks but good pranks and funny ones and I would laugh a lot) but he never COMPLIMENTS anyone , especially me, when they achieve a success while I do it everytime even with him, I’ve just heard one time, I think to the girl that he is interest in my group, she asked us if she should do a hairstyle (she is such a good person to me) and he said “yes you would look good”
Coming back to the sushi dinner…
Then…jokingly as I did many times with my art buddies, since we both like drawing and he was drawing a tattoo too I told him “ehy it would be fun to do a drawing match! It's gonna be interesting”😏 I was like “I have your same passion let’s be friends!”
But He told me things that really hurt me, he said
“Please don't ever do a match about drawing with me cause I will win 100%”
And I told him are you sure? Jokingly (I thought he was saying that in a funny way cause after the pranks he made me I can’t understand if some things are said seriously or not )
Then he said “anny please lower down your self esteem, fly down you are a bit embarrassing, the proportions of your drawing are all wrong, I am better always “ he didn't say that ironically, but EVERYONE found him arrogant IT WAS FUCKING DRAWN ON AN ARM WAS IT REALLY NECESSARY? I KNEW THAT THE PROPORTIONS WERE WRONG!! But I was about to cry
I felt like shit for the whole evening, one of my friends told him that he wasn't that good by doing that comment in a,funny way, I even felt like throwing up for the anxiety after dinner and I just wanted to go home because It made me feel so bad.
The previous days, he said that I wasn't a good graphic designer because I didn't know many car brands (he is not in the graphic designer major) and he said that he didn't trust my judgement but just the others judgment, even from people that don't do graphic design but other majors!! I Ve always been told that my works were one of the best in my class, but I don't consider myself a perfect graphic designer either!! How!!
I always say “I just like showing the things that I love or when I am satisfied with something I like to show it, but I NEVER CONSIDER myself better than others or I would Never put others down to bring myself up” AS HE DOES
My good friends told me that they don't like his behavior too, and they are kind of scared of him, so I CALMED MYSELF SOO MUCH since i discovered I am not the problem , but I am still so insecure about me. I was about to cry for real, but my good friends comforted me so much I am so grateful to have them since they know I'm so anxious about myself.
They kinda told me that it may be that this person is jealous of me? This person sees me as a obstacle because he found someone with his same skills? Idk
What do you think? Is it a bit narcissist? A bit jealous?
After this I understood that maybe the universe wanted me to set boundaries and make me learn the hard way , “Anny you are giving too much even to him, this is a sign to be more “by yourself “
He did cross the line! he fuckinh did, I will never ever let anyone do this to me anymore!
Some people even told me that he may be in love with me? What a strange thing to demonstrate love?? And I don’t think this is true cause one of my friends told me that last time they went to the beach ( I couldn’t go) he talked to this person that we think he likes for the whole dinner and she couldn’t handle it anymore 😂 some of my friends don’t like him too. I would be so satidpsfied to tell him once “ you fuking cross the line” but I just prefer right now to not have any interaction with him to avoid feeling bad again and to let him understand that he should just not joke with me anymore. I am special
THIS VIDEO CAME IN THE RIGHTEST TIME
i was lit talking about this yesterday and somehow youtube reads my mind, all those tips from other influencers such as ask questions, keep but dont keep eye contact etc.. just makes people like you not respect because it makes you look like a chaser so people immediately see you as less than them and not a friend but a second option when they are bored, what matters is not caring what others think and being confident - not let them walkover you thats what will make you attract people instead
totally
Oh man this first minute is hitting home. Just lost a friend through text and the things they said showed they had pent up resentment.. People don't respect me, they enjoy my energy though. That's kind of it.
Based on your profile picture, stop being a goofball. It’s better to be respected and hated than liked and looked down on
@@marcusmcgraw3519 bad advice lol. You can't make people respect you. You only recognize disrespect and cut them off. If people disrespect you, it's not your fault because people will try you. However if people disrespect you all the time then you need evaluate who you are hanging with but you don't change
@@mario125ww I agree with this.
Can we also talk about when you meet someone new and you meet their friends and you’re LITERALLY not filled in on the *friendship lore* so you feel lacking big time and even more like a piece of dung?
first!! i love your channel btw, your so inspiring!!
thank u
This video came out at the perfect time ❤
THE BOUNDARY ONES OMGG YESS!!!!!
ABOUT TIME SOMEBODY MENTIONED BOUNDARIES!!
such an important under-thought core part of a friendship or relationship
this deserves more likes
amazing video, thank you
omg im so happy for you that youre doing well and new followers are coming
I used to give and give they didn't know my boundaries we're
I love the title of the video
hits home
I would rather be feared
real
I came across this video and I don’t know whether the type of person u are talking about applies to me or not. I used to have a big circle of friends but it fizzled down to 2 groups. In my smaller group, 2 of my friends were starting to make other friends that they would eventually spend more time with, to the point where one even hanged out with a whole other group for a while. Because of this and other things, I haven’t been able to consider any one of my friends as a best friend until recently. This best friend considers me very helpful (I quote, he wrote in a birthday letter ‘you in 3 words: helpful, humble, honest’.) In essence, I feel like I do a lot for my friends but at the same time I feel like I don’t do enough (especially when receiving gifts, I feel guilty in a way if I ever receive them). Does anyone else feel this way?
sounds like you have a good best friend rn, considering the way he described you . feeling guilty receiving gifts is v common, and probably shows you don't feel deserving, it happens when we've been treated poorly in the past, when we finally get good treatment it feel unusual, even if it it's what we deserve. it will get better with time i promise
I have no genuine friends l can turn to
Yeah but what about being respected but not liked 😭
i still think respect carries more weight, people won't take advantage of those they respect.
@@ChristinaAaliyahI 100% agree. As someone who is more respected than liked, it is much easier to discredit the ones who don’t like you as coming from an inferior position. People are more willing to listen as a result
@@ChristinaAaliyah Definitely respect carries more weight. Even in laws of power it is better to be feared than liked. Being liked ranks low on the social totem pole. Strive for respect more than anything. A lot of things depend on respect. @ChristinaAaliyah keep up the good work. Your content is informative and helpful.
I think u need to remember that the goal is not to have everyone liking you but having everyone respect you. Confidence means that you are not liked by every person you know, but you are okay with it.
I wonder what my problem is cause im most definitely not a people pleasure and im not afraid to be alone yet sometimes i feel lonely
there might not be anything wrong with you ❤️🩹 as humans we all feel lonely sometimes
Everyone feels lonely sometimes. Be kind to yourself. You are the only you you've got! Take yourself out to lunch, buy yourself flowers, buy your favourite perfume and be your own cheerleader. its actually quite fun to be your own best friend darling!
What I don't like about this video is that it assumes that being respected versus being liked as a choice and it's not. Earning someone's respect is easy or impossible as earning someone's love, i.e. it's entirely not up to you.
Nor should you feel bad, or that you personally did something wrong that nobody loves/ respects you. If you need an example look at Jesus Christ himself. He was literally the son of God, but did anybody give a sh*t? No! He was betrayed by one of his closests disciples, and crucified like a petty thug anyway. A lot of people that are now celebrated in death received little to no respect in life, and we are no different.
Being liked however is something that you can change about yourself.
You can be less weird, more confident, more attractive, earn more money, etc. all of that superficial stuff you can change.
Anybody tells you do X-->Y --> Z, and people will respect you, it's antedotal at best, gaslighting at worse.
The real advice here is to don't waste time on people whom you do not respect.
Then if there's at least one person left on that list, try your best to get them get them to like you, and if they don't then rinse & repeat, until you find someone who does.
😮
third?