This is projecting
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- Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024
- Projecting is when someone assigns another person as having done something they themselves have done. It can come in a variety of forms. "You always ____(fill in the blank) " can lead to an argument at worst if the person doesn't always or ever do what has been accused. The person making the charge won't listen and just keeps arguing. The more you profess your innocence the more they go off. This could be projecting. Like an old fashioned movie camera- they are taking their bad behavior and shining it onto you with their comments or accusations. Michelle gives examples in this video of what types of things can be used in projection- and what it means to the person who is doing the projection that you should know.
Not gonna let anyone make me feel attacked and then claim to be my friend. Stay the hell away from me!
🤣 idky but i liked this
I have been a target for such people. You would not believe what these people project onto me every day. They are a very large gang and they know people all over the city. This means that I am constantly attacked by people I do not know. They project the worst things onto me.
Especially females project their bad behavior onto me. I am a woman that was stalked by a young male and instantly I was attacked by jealous females that projected their own negative characters onto me. This has warped into a large campaign against me, especially when these female spies notice that a male likes me or wants to connect to me.
Many of these females have had too many failed relationships to count and whenever they have a bad experience with a guy that I happen to be working with or even just a guy that I see from afar these crazy females actually project onto me what happened between them and the guys.
A lot of these women are extremely aggressive and ever since I mentioned they are much more like angry boys or angry guys they aggressively try to project those male characteristics onto me.
You would not believe how much they project their own characteristics onto me.
Hell Yeah Jack Rickleson 😂🤣😂
A clear simple and succinct explanation of projection, thank you.
That was the goal- thank you!!
it takes one second for a person to twist and twitch their words so that they can sway the other person into doing what they wanted to do
I have too much experience with projection as my mom is a narcissist.
Their accusations are actually confessions.
THEY ARE MORE LIKELY TO PROJECT IF YOU LOOK WEAK. LOOKS ARE BRUTALLY SIGNIFICANT
With all the deep diving mental work I've done with myself, understanding projection has been top 3 of my journey. Thank you for helping people, like myself. Your efforts have made a positive difference.
Thank you so much!
This happens to me all the time. To f think with all the mental abuse the world would be different
holly shit that lip sync issue. gonna have to not look at the video while listening to this.
Thanks for the heads up- will see if we can fix it.
I see projecting in the same realm as gaslighting. These behaviors can have serious psychological effects long-term.
Yes, I am being stalked by gangs of workers at my jobs and see the same behavior when I work in my business with customers that are also connected to some of those people.
It is most definitely an aggressive form of gaslighting.
They try to project everything they are having trouble with. They project their own mishaps in relationships, they even project their own troublesome gender issues.
They will hatefully appear in front of me and project their own characteristics every single day.
If a guy brakes up with them: they project it onto me
If they have obvious gender identity problems: they project it onto me
When they do things that I would never do: they project it onto me
When they notice what they do is not so smart: they project it onto me
It is a form of attacking a person that is completely different then them, a person that would never sink as low as they have, and a person that even gets attacked physically when the person tries to live their own life and when that person is accurately describing what is happening in the person's own life.
They absolutely hate it when the person refuses to be blamed for being like them and refuses to be blamed for the dumbest things ever that person would never do.
It is all about attacking that person on purpose.
Why is a projector a projector? 🤔
When u set up a projector in school what is on the projector will show or illuminate what ever it shines on.
Hi P - there are a few theories- people who project onto others those characteristics or feelings that they have but cannot deal with - can be a defense mechanism - etc.
XD i get that one
🎯 spot on. This happens to me on a 24hr basis but not anymore. That's what they are doing and who they are it has nothing to do with me. I just let them go on their way. And focus on me.
Oh yeah, as soon as I get to my work they throw the nastiest projections onto me that describe a person with a very very questionable life and their lies and projections are very very nasty.
What's the term in psychology where someone wrongfully assumes others' experience things the same way they personally experience things? I originally thought that is what projection meant.
Yes, but today's rules have changed. I am dealing with people at work who are literally in projection gangs. They all project onto me what is wrong in their life. They do this on purpose.
It has gotten so bad, when I text someone about my life, they will instantly attack me with lies about me, with wrongful accusations about me and even threaten me with people I don't know. Many of them are involved in drugs, prostitution, you name it. And they are very very aggressively projecting that onto me. Trying to make me sound like a trashy person like they are.
I always text to a person of trust and I have learned a lot from that person and I really like to share many different life situations with that person.
They will instantly attack me because of that, because I talk about things that happen in my life, which of course are not the trashy things they try to project onto me. They are completely mad about that: how dare I talk about my own life while they try to make me sound like a trashy person?
How dare I deny them the joy of blaming me for things I never did and never would be dumb enough to do?
So, every time I share my life with this person of trust, a person I can trust with my life, a person that accepts me as I am and a very intelligent person at that, well they go crazy, repeating every single ugly character projection against me.
I am just sharing my life with this person of trust and then they attack, hard, because my life is the exact opposite of their projections.
They hate that I am smart, talented, and that I have a much better character than they do. When I can see what character flaws they have you can bet they will project those onto me.
They are very dangerous hateful people.
They are mostly females and the very dangerous guys they are involved with. Ever since I have been stalked by a young male a long time ago they have lied millions of times about what has happened.
Now get this: many of these females have very troubled lives. Many of them are very selfish females and very lose females. Many of them are changing their gender status because they have not been able to sustain partnerships with males. So they go around and project that onto women who do not have the same problems.
Well, how to best deal with someone like that?? Do you call them on it outright which they'll mostly deny I imagine or???
I have mostly found they don't let up and just keep on arguing which gets 0 accomplished.
Thank you!
Hi @Shepherd There are 2 ways - but both require you first to not get defensive. When someone tries to assign something to you that doesn't fit you then know it is a statement about how they feel about themselves and possibly about you. You can say "This is not about me" or " How do you know.... (then say whatever they had said)". In either case then pause to see if they say something in response and if they do then you may get some indication that they have insight into the situation and they will explain or apologize - usually they won't say anything. If they don't then back away from them.
You could read about what Jesus did when all the religious people started projecting onto him ;)
Very, very helpful!!! Thanks for being so CLEAR!
Thanks Raspberries!
Guy at my job always lying... says his buddies this and his buddies that... never going into details... new guy.... like u say.... i think he wants exceptance... we tell him all the time... u have the job u dont have to lie anymore
I get screamed at then in several hours later....he kisses my hand. WTF??
Thank you very much. God bless you. Amen.
this was helpful thank you
Uhm somethings do happen to your friends. How do you tell if your the one projecting?
Hi @tabatha Great question. Choose a situation that you are wondering about- what was said, what did you observe. Was there only one answer or one way of viewing the situation or event or whatever? What qualities or aspects did you assert? Do you have those qualities or aspects? Some say 'if you spot it - you've got it' .
Is there a word for someone who after love bombing you, then dumps you out the blue because her best friend was in an abusive relationship and dumps her boyfriend?
I would call this "Mirroring" or "Inferiority Complex".
Mirroring is a non competitive form of inferiority complex where a person feels like they are only able to maintain an equal footing in a social relationship by having the same things as someone else or imitating them either because they feel bad or someone is looking down on them forcing them to adopt the same behavior.
Inferiority Complex is a competitive issue where if you don't have more than someone else, you aren't satisfied. Or if someone has something you have to have a good version of the same thing to feel better. Basically making yourself a rival rather than a friend.
Both in my opinion make her a jealous person but one will hurt her reputation more than the person she is doing it to. [Mirroring is more self-destructive.] Both are bad behaviors that are an issue of identity. It's an issue of trying to adapt to please people or show off to people rather than trying to be oneself and finding people who interact with you naturally.
@@syxxvralrock5759 Thanks. I think this happened to me, but im not completely sure. My girlfriends friend got a boyfriend roughly around the same time me and my girlfriend met, and my girlfriend dumped me out the blue after her friend dumped her boyfriend. I just thought it was suspicious.
@@reflux043 Well it's hard to know for certain based on social ques only but you can be more sure if you saw the same behavior for other things. Like if your girlfriend liked dressing the same way as her friend did, or talking in the same manner, or even only inviting you around while her friend was going out with her boyfriend. Usually if a person is doing something and you think it's suspicious, you think that way because there is a pattern behind it. If there was no established pattern or there was a reason the relationship couldn't work then you may be on the wrong track.
@@syxxvralrock5759 I understand what you mean. She did act differently around her friend. It is a hard one, but the fact that she said i was the best guy she'd ever met, complimented me every day, led me to believe we'd be together forever by buying me a penguin (as they mate for life), assuring me that we were fine and not to worry about things, and saying that she was still in love with me the day her friend dumped her boyfriend, and i was dumped the next day.
I have a friend who has a considerable amount of grey hair, on more then one occasion particularly point out and verbalize that i have some grey hair which have a few grey hair that only recently started and no one ever mentioned it . i can barely see any and i asked multiple ppl and they say no i only see a few and they can barley see them. They can only see if they are literally face into my hair. So is she projecting.?
Hi @Jamie Normally projecting refers to behaviors or attitudes- things like that rather than physically observable things.
@@FinelyRevealed well what is it shes doing. ? I barely have any observable grey hair like you really have to look up close. She has full grey on the sides.
Shes the one who brings it up. She talks about her own grey and always will bring my lesser smaller fault amount of thats only about a dozen on my whole head.
She done this on multiple occasions. It's as if she is self conscious about her grey hair that's very grey and she is looking really hard to find that same fault in me. Its as she's finding faults and occasion to put me down and or to put me on the same playing field as her cause it makes her feel better.
Or you one could call it ignorant because i never asked for her opinion and to be honest i dont appreciate it.
I dont talk about her grey , i dont talk about her being overweight, i dont talk about things in her that are true as things like that.
I suspect its some underlying issue because no one else ive ever encountered acts that way. With the exception of some other ignorant fault finders. Who are over critical of everyone.
@@FinelyRevealed well how would you define this attitude of fault finding? I dont its a normal way to interact.
Fot someone to tell you things that you didn't even ask to hear that are critical.
You have a few grey hairs in the meantime half her head is grey.
I guess they are hypocrites and being a little nasty.
Iike i said i think they are insecure about traits about themselves them they try to look or attribute them to others so they feel less bad. Or they will look for other faults....start painting a picture of things you are not...like your always too late, your too early, you do this thing you do that thing they always try to find or make a fault with everything
@@FinelyRevealed "here are some tips i picked up from another Dr. To outline what im trying to say
"
Critetcisms are a way of asserting power and social experiences and situations are the same, and becoming emotionally intelligent means understanding the subtler nuances and context so you can respond mindfully and skillfully.
Below are possible reasons why a friend, partner, colleague, relative or acquaintance may criticize you:
They are threatened by your competence, attractiveness, etc. so they are trying to level the playing field......
They have a controlling personality and have to be in charge.
They want to make you look bad so as to advance their own position or curry favor with the bosses, etc.
They feel insecure and are overcompensating.
So im pretty accurate in my thinking.
Final Thoughts
Nobody likes to be criticized, but it is part of the human experience. Sometimes, it is just a power play or someone’s projection
Unconscious discomfort can lead people to attribute difficult feelings or impulses to someone else to avoid confronting them. Projection allows the difficult trait to be addressed without the individual fully recognizing it in themselves.
( so im just saying in a round about way it's subtle its criticism and projecting in a way or maybe its a better term for it but shes stuck on that idea of bringing up my faults aka my few greys for some of the reasons above because she feels bad about it her overself and she wants to feel better by making it more about me, about evening the playing feild to look really hard to find some fault in me that she has. Even though my grey hairs are only few.... Because im not over weight she cant draw me into that one. ...
I even told her i said dear your after bringing that up multiple times then trying to includ me in on it? Do you have some sort of issuev about that. Cause i dont like being picked apart.
If you dont have anything good to say dont say nothing.
I just dont totally get why ppl just feel the need to always be so negative. They cant say good only bad. Im in good shape my whole life but no good words but if ppl.see you gain 5 lbs they will put you down instantly.
@@jamielc3437 They're projecting....
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