4 ways to identify narcissists at work

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  • Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024
  • If you recognize an of these behaviors in a coworker you may be dealing with someone with narcissistic personality disorder. Once you have 'figured out' that these are repeated patterns and not isolated or occasional situations you can give yourself some peace of mind.
    Now that you know how to identify them- here are some ideas to help you cope with them! • 5 tips for dealing wit...
    For your personal immediate circle- know this to evaluate empathy • Baseline to evaluate e...

Комментарии • 310

  • @hermausmora9687
    @hermausmora9687 Год назад +114

    I work with this girl she watches you all day to make one mistake so she can call you out in front of everyone and make herself look smart

    • @annekerotterdam7499
      @annekerotterdam7499 Год назад +4

      Yes,

    • @brittneysperspective8433
      @brittneysperspective8433 Год назад +2

      Same. Lol

    • @Homegrown_Values
      @Homegrown_Values Год назад +2

      I work with one like that too 😪

    • @bonnie1097
      @bonnie1097 Год назад +4

      I think those are the most common types at work. I've dealt with too many. I've quit several jobs over this stuff because it NEVER gets better and you're gaslighted if you say anything. I'm happily self -employed.

    • @TheNthGoddess
      @TheNthGoddess Год назад

      !!!

  • @BeautifulManifestations
    @BeautifulManifestations Год назад +78

    The wild thing is that how do managers “not notice” these types of people and why does HR “protect” these people?!

    • @beasaroseco5840
      @beasaroseco5840 Год назад +17

      Birds of a feather, honey. Misery loves company.

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  Год назад +20

      They are often manipulated by the person as well - people do not like conflict- a variety of reasons. Makes you wonder why they have their job.

    • @BeautifulManifestations
      @BeautifulManifestations 9 месяцев назад

      @@FinelyRevealed facts.

    • @agak61
      @agak61 6 месяцев назад

      Because managers are just as bad

    • @dontbelongherefromanother
      @dontbelongherefromanother 3 месяца назад +3

      They're overlooked because they make sure attention is deflected from them

  • @angelamwatts
    @angelamwatts 4 года назад +119

    In my experience with narcissists in the professional work place, the first thing that they will do is start violating other people's boundaries. They will do it subtly to see what they can get away with. They target empathic people who are willing to go out of their way to help others. They may call you at an inappropriate hour to complain about something that was done wrong or to simply complain about another coworker. They can come off as very charming and animated and before you know it, you end up being sucked down a rabbit hole to the point where your professional life will become a living nightmare. I went through this with a co-worker and had to block him on my cell phone just to set the boundaries. The level of inappropriateness that he exhibited towards me is embarrassing. I felt so violated. I set strong boundaries, stay to myself and focus solely on my work. I don't take orders from co-workers who I do NOT work for. The best way to deal with them is to set strong boundaries and do not let them cross those boundaries. Learn to assert yourself. Say "no" if it's inappropriate and tell a safe person what is happening if you can. Sometimes you may even have to find another job.

    • @YugandharaS
      @YugandharaS 2 года назад

      This is really helpful.. I have narcissist team lead and boss .. they try to control everything that I work on ... So many fake promises .. but these video and comments like this helps me a lot

    • @weirdalpleasenoticeme
      @weirdalpleasenoticeme Год назад +2

      I am experiencing this now. It's good to hear someone else's story. I had to block my coworker as well, and I also felt embarrassed for her... when she was yelling at me on the phone telling me what to do, screaming and verbally abusing me.

    • @annekerotterdam7499
      @annekerotterdam7499 Год назад +1

      @@YugandharaS Narcissistic team leaders or bosses will manipulate, gaslight (smear campaing) you and before you know what's going on....they fire you. Get another job!!

    • @zahrajames5941
      @zahrajames5941 Год назад +5

      I work with 2 narcissists. This describes the them exactly. I've had my work plagiarized, I've been " set up" Both of them have a constant need to speak to me with depreciation. They have misrepresented me to our employer, they go crazy if I get any type of praise. If I wear anything new they will move heaven and earth to find the exact same. It's exhausting!

    • @user-zr6pl6nb6z
      @user-zr6pl6nb6z Год назад

      One can carry this too far and become dickish, though.

  • @martaxiaoping1261
    @martaxiaoping1261 6 лет назад +105

    Ive seen too many horror films and I got scared when I saw the chair turning expecting something scary. Fortunately it was this cool woman.

    • @anterpants
      @anterpants 5 лет назад +3

      Turned out to be a young and Paula Deen.

    • @latitude1904
      @latitude1904 4 года назад +3

      Freaked me out too.

    • @M0101EP
      @M0101EP 4 года назад +6

      This comment made me laugh. I loved the chair turning tho. 🤣

    • @retrogradeful
      @retrogradeful 4 года назад +1

      🤣

    • @sophiewhite1170
      @sophiewhite1170 4 года назад +2

      Hahaha! Same 😀

  • @cosmic-fortytwo
    @cosmic-fortytwo 6 лет назад +151

    There are a lot more than 4 criteria to identify a narcissist. Childish, attention seeking behaviour, inability to handle even the slightest criticism and trap-laying behaviour to put themselves in a position of victimhood are among them.

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  6 лет назад +5

      HI Hitchhiker42- yes thanks- those are additional ways to spot the person. We were trying to highlight those cues that show up most often in a work situation.

    • @caliinthevalley24681
      @caliinthevalley24681 5 лет назад +6

      Jealousy too

    • @moniquesmith2684
      @moniquesmith2684 4 года назад

      hitchhiker42 Hey you are REALLY REALLY VERY GOOD. This is AWESOME do you mind telling me more. I have a mother who is a Narcissistic and I REALLY need help. Thank-you So Very much

    • @juliet.nebblet-cox
      @juliet.nebblet-cox 2 года назад

      Exactly! My sister is like that.

    • @T1Oracle
      @T1Oracle 2 года назад +2

      That doesn't cover covert narcissists like my mom. She appears saintly, generous, humble, and vulnerable. Next thing she's giving you orders, criticizing you, and you're the one apologizing to her. Then you find out that she's been talking about you behind your back, recruiting people to manipulate and chastise you.

  • @FyreSturmOfficial
    @FyreSturmOfficial 4 года назад +43

    I had a narc at EVERY job I ever worked.

    • @indy3240
      @indy3240 2 года назад +2

      OMG what do I do I’m like thinking of looking For another job. I trained her and she’s so up and down and of course im her target. I told her not to come to my desk for questions to send an email or call due to her agression with me in person last time. She goes and copies the president on the email response with my boss and copy pasted previous messages stating of my saying ummmm what are you talking about etc … I cannot deal with this Im tired. I work full time and am in nursing school partime ugh

    • @dominiquewyatt6704
      @dominiquewyatt6704 11 месяцев назад +5

      They are every where

    • @pinkrose4322
      @pinkrose4322 10 месяцев назад

      ​@@dominiquewyatt6704Yes, they are EVERYWHERE! It's scary. 😮

    • @dontbelongherefromanother
      @dontbelongherefromanother 3 месяца назад +2

      They are everywhere

  • @beasaroseco5840
    @beasaroseco5840 Год назад +23

    All I know is that the work day goes alot better when they CALL OUT. They are a pain in the neck.

    • @pinkrose4322
      @pinkrose4322 10 месяцев назад +3

      Yes!!! It's peaceful when they are absent. 👍

    • @bryanbrooks2634
      @bryanbrooks2634 4 месяца назад +1

      Frfr💯

    • @SongofaBeach2012
      @SongofaBeach2012 Месяц назад

      I cherish the days my Narc boss is out of office. Why cant they be gone ALL the time? 😢

  • @bambipardis1105
    @bambipardis1105 6 лет назад +39

    They steal your credit.naking up new rules everyday

    • @mirandaa2673
      @mirandaa2673 4 года назад +3

      dealing with a coworker like that right now. Every day she decides how we should do things differently that day and then when it comes down to her turn doing it, she either claims to not know how to do it or changes the rules again. It's absolutely crazy

    • @destineehill446
      @destineehill446 2 года назад +1

      I experienced this with a long term sub last year. She’s a lead teacher now.

  • @sissi8610
    @sissi8610 7 лет назад +166

    I've been in touch with the author of "Wolves in sheep's clothing", George Simon. He's got an important message to all shrinks. Not all Narcissists and Sociopaths had bad childhoods and were traumatized. Some of them had great parents. They are just bad people who actually enjoy the pain the cause. George gives the example of a cat, who doesn't play with the mouse and slowly torture it, because it's hungry. I just likes doing it. I think that some people are just really, really bad. Born bad. Evil. And us "normals" need to be educated, so that we don't employ these bastards and let them anywhere near animals or children or decisions involving the environment and nature.

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  7 лет назад +10

      Thanks for sharing about the book- it will help someone.

    • @Richard-vq7ud
      @Richard-vq7ud 7 лет назад +20

      I think you are right Sissi. We all have some kind of bad childhood but we dont turn into a bitch.

    • @Eusebeia7
      @Eusebeia7 6 лет назад +6

      Evil has no place in evolutionary psychiatric theory but is well know to be very real. I wrote this paste for people who thought God must be a sadistic psychopath but it explains why evil is necessary. God is good and takes full responsibility for the creation of evil. Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things. Proverbs 16:4 The LORD hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked for the day of evil. And God promises to completely remove evil. Nahum 1:9 What do ye imagine against the LORD? he will make an utter end: affliction shall not rise up the second time. Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Evil is temporarily necessary for us to have the free will necessary to create our own soul, personality, character. Evil and Hell are simply the absence of God. God = fiery, love, light, good, truth, life Deuteronomy 4:24 For the LORD thy God is a consuming fire... hell = fiery, hate, dark, evil, lies, death. 1 Corinthians 3:13 Every man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character) shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire (God); and the fire shall try every man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character) of what sort it is. 1 Corinthians 3:14 If any man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character) abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward. 1 Corinthians 3:15 If any man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character) shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself (spirit, mind, consciousness) shall be saved; yet so as by fire. 1 Peter 1:17 And if ye call on the Father, who without respect of persons judgeth according to every man's (spirit, mind, consciousness) work (soul, personality, character), pass the time of your sojourning (temporary residence) here in fear: Hebrews 9:27 And as it is appointed unto men (spirit, mind, consciousness) once to die (separate from God like Adam), but after this the judgment:(the Krisis of rejoining God) Revelation 20:14 And death (separation from God) and hell (negative God) were cast into the lake of fire (God). This is the second death. (separation from an evil soul, personality, character). Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire (God) and brimstone: which is the second death.(separation from an evil soul, personality, character) Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death (separation from God), neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. But Matthew 16:26 For what is a man (spirit, mind, consciousness) profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul (soul, personality, character)? or what shall a man (spirit, mind, consciousness) give in exchange for his soul (soul, personality, character)? Mark 8:36 For what shall it profit a man (spirit, mind, consciousness), if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul (soul, personality, character)?

    • @annekerotterdam7499
      @annekerotterdam7499 6 лет назад +6

      It's about emotional neglect/psych abuse (invisible) in early childhood too and therefore not have been able to form an own identity. Empathy etc.

    • @annekerotterdam7499
      @annekerotterdam7499 6 лет назад +6

      Misti, my mother was an alc narc (dad had OCPD), I have 6 siblings. I can tell you this: no matter how you are treated or which family 'role' you were, ALL children from narcs are abused, the golden child too! They become more often a narc too. I was a 'lost child' not the scapegoat(!) but in the presence of 2 narcs the 3rd person will always be made a foll of etc. That's what narcs do, it's not your 'role'. Just get away from them! xx

  • @toneman335
    @toneman335 5 лет назад +23

    The Narc "objectifies" people plus they have no empathy for others.

  • @Jjerichoooo
    @Jjerichoooo 5 лет назад +32

    The last generation
    To all empath and spiritualminded people.
    To all those that feel the awakening of the light that brings truth and knowledge, understanding wisdom and insight.
    The time has come where we are being targeted by those who have no love and are empty inside. They hate what they can’t be and what they can’t obtain, TRUTH WITHIN.
    We have a real spiritual fight on our hands for these Narcissists have no mercy or empathy and want to hurt and destroy us, they do not care about the lies they spin and tell. Learn more about Narcissists and toxic people.

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  5 лет назад +4

      Thank you for contributing to the discussion @jjerichoo Recognize, navigate around and away and reach a peaceful state of indifference. Keep shining your light.

    • @jacquelinebarnard649
      @jacquelinebarnard649 Год назад

      My spiritual awakening happened in 2013 wow so much fun trying this and that ( example) thinking about someone , same day or next you run into them !! And couldn’t soak up enough knowledge about spiritual awakening best thing that ever happened. So Grateful ❤ Lovnlight ❤😇🙏🏻 Yessss SHINE , SHINE , SHINE !!!

  • @jimmim3000
    @jimmim3000 5 лет назад +30

    They absolutely refuse to learn anything or do any work, even with a high executive title.

  • @marciloni12
    @marciloni12 2 года назад +11

    You would think one that has been abused as a child would want to be a better adult!!

    • @annekerotterdam7499
      @annekerotterdam7499 Год назад +1

      Think about that!!

    • @janetmalcolm6191
      @janetmalcolm6191 5 месяцев назад +1

      No their inferiority from their bad childhood gets taken out on other people. They will put down others to look good. Talk about others and lie to look good. Offer to do good things but there will be an ulterior motive for themselves usually financial or to gain self esteem. All in all they are best avoided. For your own sanity.

    • @dontbelongherefromanother
      @dontbelongherefromanother 3 месяца назад +1

      Not always

  • @Indigo_newness
    @Indigo_newness 5 лет назад +15

    Some just em mesh themselves with their co workers quickly find out their vulnerabilities to use against them on a rainy day.....like they organise dinners outings etc to quickly get into the social circle quickly especially if they are aiming for new supply when old supply hasn’t worked out for them......it’s all strategic and sick.....in the end the social aspects ends in disaster at work. Co workers are generally worked on covertly and no one knows until someone finally understands what’s going on.BASICALLY THEY DON’T STAY IN A JOB LONG BECAUSE THEY CAUSE DRAMA AND CAOIS WHERE EVER THEY GO.

  • @3life83
    @3life83 5 лет назад +23

    Where I work is more than 10% . My department of 11 people 6 are narcissist.

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  5 лет назад +6

      Hang in there @mersedes - hope it gets better or you can make a good move out of there.

    • @Isochest
      @Isochest 4 года назад +6

      You need to get out of there!

    • @GoogleIsAPieceOfShit2023
      @GoogleIsAPieceOfShit2023 4 года назад +1

      Mersedes De 10% is NOT accurate at all.

    • @indy3240
      @indy3240 2 года назад

      Omg

  • @hanabihaku8732
    @hanabihaku8732 Год назад +12

    I have a colleague who tried to show that she was very kind and helpful. She had been criticising the way I handle my work, and she often said she cared for me so that's why she gave me a lot of 'advice'. She often asked me for help and messaged me about work at night. Thinking that she was a sincere person, I had been helping her until one day, she gave a criticism about me in front of me and my boss. I was so speechless that I couldn't react. After that, I stopped helping her and also ignored her late night messages. I realised that she is a narcissist and have been avoiding her like a plague. Now she started asking another colleague for help.

    • @mariahconklin4150
      @mariahconklin4150 7 месяцев назад

      Oh god I accidently put a supervisor on the spot and apologized. I felt so bad. Seems awful what happened to you that happens a lot at my work.

    • @dontbelongherefromanother
      @dontbelongherefromanother 3 месяца назад

      This happened to me with a colleague, and she was very helpful and kind, but she went behind my back complaining to our supervisor the entire time.

  • @4Beats4Me
    @4Beats4Me 6 лет назад +15

    Some people in charge of others become 'drunk with authority'. It is so common in small town style organizations, especially education(paradoxicallly) as to be indemic. It is time those truly responsible were held to account where our children are concerned.

  • @FruityHachi
    @FruityHachi 4 года назад +16

    my "best friend" in elementary school stole my favorite pens, and then when i found them in her room she lied, saying those are hers
    i knew back then when i was 9 that she was trying to manipulate me and i stuck to my reality, but as i grew older i kinda forgot how to stand up for myself and now i'm learning it again

    • @juliet.nebblet-cox
      @juliet.nebblet-cox 2 года назад

      My brother used to steal my things and when I confronted him, he lied saying they were his. If I insisted it would be an exhausting experience.

  • @whale6144
    @whale6144 2 года назад +14

    Thank you for this awesome video that is direct and to the point. I especially loved the point in how narcissists "steal". They plagiarize your ideas, listening to you intently so they can pass it off as their own.

  • @marshamarshamarsha4567
    @marshamarshamarsha4567 4 года назад +9

    My supervisor has plenty of enablers.

  • @kimmccarl1089
    @kimmccarl1089 5 лет назад +14

    I use to work with a Couple People Like this ....I always Shook My head and thought Why ...

    • @kuukuyankson2033
      @kuukuyankson2033 4 года назад +3

      They make you want to lose your senses and hair. Truly sick people. I should know as I have been sandwiched between two at work and it's no joke

  • @weirdalpleasenoticeme
    @weirdalpleasenoticeme Год назад +10

    Thank you for this video. All I could think during the video was "yes, yes, yes, check, check, check". I think its safe to say I'm dealing with a narcissistic coworker.
    I have had 2 narcissistic bosses before and for both, I ended up leaving the jobs because the bosses were crossing my boundaries. Both very upsetting experiences.
    This time, it is a coworker. I'm feeling ready to fight this fight and get my supervisor/HR involved, be resilient, set firm boundaries, and win this time. Instead of leaving like I had to at my other jobs, I'm staying.

  • @kdmil2002
    @kdmil2002 6 лет назад +20

    I found this very confusing. The one true narcissist that I have dealt with was nothing like what you are talking about. The only thing that I found sounding familiar was the ingratiating and interrupting meetings. The narcissist I knew was a very high functioning executive type who was the ultimate controller of anyone who reported to her. She hired very highly skilled employees who were capable of managing teams themselves and then systematically tore them down by requiring them to run everything by her. I saw many of these capable people submit emails to her prior to being able to send them out. She critiqued everything and even wanted to be present when her direct reports had one on ones with their teams. She would monopolize time in meetings and the time of those who reported to her to insure that she had their full attention and they were at her disposal. Anyone looking at her would be very impressed. She was beautiful, articulate and impeccably dressed. However, her external finesse hid a very sinister and dark truth...the woman was a destroyer.

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  6 лет назад +5

      Interesting @kcmil2002 - thank you for sharing. It sounds like she wasn't a narcissist but a control freak and micromanager- maybe she wanted to keep people 'down' because she wanted to retain her real or perceived authority or power. Narcs do not generally facilitate any type of good work flow- they take the spotlight and 'look busy' but don't usually accomplish much.

    • @habbaticchio2468
      @habbaticchio2468 2 года назад

      Wow all the narcissists I know are ugly lol

    • @marciloni12
      @marciloni12 2 года назад

      She's just an insecure little child playing boss, to compensate for her inadequacy.

  • @rustyhands8179
    @rustyhands8179 7 лет назад +18

    nice spin!!!

  • @nonamenoface9491
    @nonamenoface9491 4 года назад +10

    A malignant narcissists is the work of the devil. I have co-worked with one for several years before I finally had enough of his BS. Constantly critisizing me, putting me down. Then I figured out he felt threatened by me and was jealous. After several arguments I decided enough was enough I could no longer co-work with this person but for the sake of the job I remained civil and spoke trying to keep it all work oriented until be through me under the bus about an incident which had happened. I calmly called him out on it asking why did he do that? (Which was a mistake I know, but I had to) and now he completely blanks me. Using passive agressive tactics every day. I used to let it annoy me but not anymore. I am free from his bullshit and just concentrate on doing my work. All of them traits you mentioned in the video rang so true I could almost swear it was specifically him you were speaking about, great video! 👍

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  4 года назад

      Hi @NoNameNoFace thanks so much for sharing - sounds like you are in a good place and made it through the nonsense. Hope you thrive in 2020!

  • @ladyjade6446
    @ladyjade6446 4 года назад +10

    I have to deal with one. Her days are numbered. Finally.

    • @queedelisa
      @queedelisa 4 года назад +3

      Me too 😩

    • @safebet3953
      @safebet3953 3 года назад +2

      Mine is on a time scale, can’t wait till this individual is gone.

  • @blackpanter9572
    @blackpanter9572 5 лет назад +14

    Personality test should be apart of the hiring process.

    • @janetmalcolm6191
      @janetmalcolm6191 5 месяцев назад +1

      They are good at thinking they are a good person. Act really nice. They when they get a foothold! The true colours come out.

  • @jacintamclaughlin1114
    @jacintamclaughlin1114 4 года назад +6

    Narcassist tried to get rid of me it was my first job trying to pay for my baby they all kept asking me am I leaving I never planned at all in leaving . Then I got really Ill I'm entitled to get time off I said I need time off tommorow she said yes then later said I never said that and you have to come in but I was extremely I'll forced to go outside even I had a high temperature in the childcare centre . When I asked her later she said your coming in tommorow and I cant move because of my illness and I feel worse today so no way I could go in . She and other girls laughed . Who grinned . Why would anyone treat Ill people like that unreal I'm probably fired now such a toxic environment just a week and it made me extremely weak I was working so much I'm probably just exhausted. But they probably felt threatened by me . They affected me that bad I never eat for 5 days my health I thought needs to be looked after first and I would be silly to go in I was shaking uncontrollably I was that Ill. I thought I need to be there for my baby if I go in something serious is going to happen to me and my baby boy wont have his mammy

  • @nachannachle2706
    @nachannachle2706 4 года назад +7

    Sounds like my former boss.
    Totally inept and incompetent, I wouldn't have hired her to do the job of a toilet cleaner because she was just...hopeless.
    Yet when I arrived at the entreprise, she ruled the roost like a supposedly Iron lady and literally had her royal group of privileged and selected favourites, meanwhile everyone else was to remain silent or be bullied in to submission. She decided who was to do what to control everyone, but had zero ability to make any sort of logical/meaningful decision, therefore the company was sinking.
    She made the mistake of pulling the entreprise out of a consortium and go independent. Well, the bubble deflated with the poor figures and she was very soon ousted once the evidence was visible to all. Everybody now has to pay the price of her BS management and lots of people have lost their jobs in this forced restructuring mess.
    Funny that she is still hanging around with more life drama and never ending BS to keep people feeling sorry for her. Strangest thing is that the people she dumped her sh!t on the most are the ones perusing about missing her and how amazing she was. These people are just impossible to get rid of, sometimes.

  • @kchild71
    @kchild71 6 лет назад +32

    Omg yes. I was destroyed by a narc boss and have been healing for 4 years. I saw the ingratiating and couldn’t do a thing about it. It was the beginning of my spiritual awakening.

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  6 лет назад

      Glad you made it through Rebirth - sorry you had to endure that - Thanks for sharing and keep rising!

    • @annaceder8981
      @annaceder8981 6 лет назад +6

      Rebirth
      I hope you've recovered well and doing better today.
      I Just left a job that I loved after 1 year because the boss and other made me the scapegoat and my body started to work against me ever time I traveled to work. Just the feeling of taking that bus trip made my body sick.

    • @philu4621
      @philu4621 5 лет назад +4

      Had a similar experience with my previous boss. nice to know I'm not completely crazy...

  • @demondsofdogtown
    @demondsofdogtown 6 лет назад +10

    omg you just blew my mind. you described my boss to a tee. didnt know this was a thing till now. now i gotta learn how to deal with him

  • @Richard-vq7ud
    @Richard-vq7ud 7 лет назад +10

    Thank you for a great presentation. I wish i knew abt npd 30 years ago. I made all the mistakes dealing w them.

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  7 лет назад

      Glad we were helpful Richard- unfortunately for may the awareness of npd often comes only from a personal experience with a person affected.

  • @MrQuagmire26
    @MrQuagmire26 5 лет назад +12

    I'm working with a woman like that. She: 1) Wants to be all over the place and goes to tons of meetings to have a say in everything. 2) She acts bossy, and often does it next to the real bosses. Often they listen to her. 3) She leads the lunch conversations at work, which again is all about herself. One example is that someone wishes everyone a happy holiday on facebook. Instead of just writing happy holiday, she replies with a long offtopic post about HER life and what SHE does. 4) She wants to have a say in absolutely everything, and if you happen to hold a different opinion than her. Well, then expect to be bombarded with pushy arguments cause HER opinion matters. Not anyone else's.

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  5 лет назад +1

      Hope you can get distance from her @MrQuagmire26

  • @bambipardis1105
    @bambipardis1105 6 лет назад +8

    Holding people behind called territorial powerless trips

  • @Smilez-m1s
    @Smilez-m1s Год назад +2

    They also will park their car next to you in the work parking lot and "accidentally" door ding your vehicle.

  • @nooname9176
    @nooname9176 5 месяцев назад +1

    Sadly speaking, NPD person can be found mostly in major leadership or
    Management role.

  • @seankelly1366
    @seankelly1366 5 месяцев назад +1

    Certainly not any sort of shortage when it comes to these kind of people who display such dynamics in today's workforce......matter of fact they seem to be multiplying..

  • @Subjohny
    @Subjohny 5 лет назад +5

    start from 2:48

  • @Corina-dq2my
    @Corina-dq2my 2 месяца назад +1

    I've never seen them steal except for one narcissist. But, I can say what I have seen. For one ,they micromanage, they tend to do this for various reasons. Also, criticism of people who they believe are inferior, or who they see as a potential threat to them. They may target a person in the workplace. And be very critical of that person. They may do a lot of passive aggressive types of things, or even be aggressive in some cases. I think that it depends on what type of individual he or she is. And what he or she believes they may get away with doing. They don't brag, but they may be condescending and want to be the boss. They can cause a lot of issues amongst staff, because they are prone to bullying, and kack empathy . But they also at the same time, like she said, will ingratiate themselves with management. Or certain supervisors. They may be on their best behavior in large groups, but they will do a lot of damage to someone they're targeting, and because they aren't that way to everyone, they paint an illusion, not only about themselves and their actual contributions, but also they will do it sometimes at the expense of another worker. They also tend to idealize certain people in the workplace. So it can be very difficult for a person who is having issues with the narcissist to gain any support. They may also do things like "tell on" people, threaten people, and act as though they're doing all the work. And because they appear so confident, they create the impression of being quite competent. But they usually are just average performers who spend more time targeting the competition than actually caring about anyone or anything genuinely.

  • @thecrazymuzician1
    @thecrazymuzician1 5 лет назад +18

    Just a side note. I absolutely love how you twirl around in your chair at the beginning of each video. Its such a cute thing to do! Love your videos! Thank you so much for sharing with us.

  • @bambipardis1105
    @bambipardis1105 6 лет назад +4

    They sound so sympathetic but are lying sociopath.A bully. At 8:00am

  • @DE-gj7eb
    @DE-gj7eb 2 года назад +9

    Narcissism in the workplace, is a form bullying.
    A narcissist and landline telephone at work. Narcissists will spend more time using landline telephone at work, making endless private calls, to family members, friends, fellow church members, etc. More personal, private calls than work-related calls.

    • @Smarty2able
      @Smarty2able 10 месяцев назад

      Why do they do that?

  • @michaelford712
    @michaelford712 5 лет назад +4

    My boss is wildly narcissistic. He is very lazy and tries to convince people when he says "one of my strongest managerial attributes is getting the most out of others". This coming from a guy who sits at his desk 90% of the time doing nothing. He most definitely does not manage anybody because the place runs itself. I love calling him out on a regular basis. I'll say "so you think if people work hard that they are doing it for you?" Or " do you think a single person gets up in the morning and tells themselves "I'm gonna work really hard today for my boss's sake?" Its actually very laughable. I recently said to him "well....that's a good way to take credit for all the hard work everyone else does". He doesnt get it one bit though and he will never change so myself and my coworkers have accepted that fact. It's ok though because he is the only person at my workplace that gives him credit for anything....but what do you expect when you are the laziest and least knowledgeable person there...

  • @weirdalpleasenoticeme
    @weirdalpleasenoticeme Год назад +4

    I have watched this video 3 times this morning, because it is so validating.

  • @djdiablo93
    @djdiablo93 5 лет назад +7

    That chair spin never gets old! Its a known precursor to great information at this point

  • @zeth8300
    @zeth8300 4 года назад +4

    33 narcs dislike this video keep preaching dr call them out.

  • @mreloo
    @mreloo 5 лет назад +3

    my wife is a covert narsicist she would have everyone believing she is the best ..sweetest worker ever...she was good..talented.. there had to b someone who could see through this or mask slip...but i don't know ..i was ..am...her target...awoke now..practicing observe dont absorb..

  • @coreyanderson7424
    @coreyanderson7424 Год назад +3

    Knowing that he or she has a personality disorder helps in that you can recognize what they will do moving forward, and unfortunately, if you've identified correctly, you'll find that things do end up unfolding that way, as predicted. Even if you try to be civil and yet keep them from getting too personal (even if you behave professionally yourself), usually, this type of person will still tend to want you out of there, because they can sense it when someone is a good person, and who is also a good worker, and can't be easily fooled. In other words, they can sense when someone is onto them. Report any bullying immediately. Wait though until you are calm, rational.

  • @dontplaywithgod2064
    @dontplaywithgod2064 8 месяцев назад +1

    Email yourself everytime they pull some of their typical narc crap. Then when it gets to a boiling point, you have an accurate record with time and date stamps

  • @edwardtang1977
    @edwardtang1977 2 года назад +2

    They make your life hell. No amount of money is worth the abuse. Quit.

  • @pinkrose4322
    @pinkrose4322 10 месяцев назад +2

    Hello! New subscriber here. Thank you for this video! You are spot on with this subject. Thanks!!

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  9 месяцев назад

      Thank you - happy to help and welcome to the channel!

  • @MuayThaiJody
    @MuayThaiJody 2 года назад +3

    You’re right not much about this on the web. It’s a struggle. Thank you for your video!

  • @dawnanarumo3952
    @dawnanarumo3952 3 года назад +5

    Thank You so much. This has been crazy making for over a year. I finally went to my boss after trying to keep things smooth. I was new so didn't want to ," rock the boat." Crazier yet, my bosses response was ," Well, he's always been nice to me."
    It is still being remedied and I suspect that it isn't over, but it never occurred to me this may be what I'm dealing with.

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  3 года назад +1

      HI @Dawn So happy to help with this- please check the playlist for suggestions on dealing with this now or in the future. If there is more we can share to help, please reach out.

    • @dawnanarumo3952
      @dawnanarumo3952 3 года назад

      @@FinelyRevealed i got your book and am reading it. Makes sense . It is totally relentless

  • @Crystal_G_1989
    @Crystal_G_1989 2 года назад +8

    The important trick is not to show them you have low self-esteem, narcissist people like theirself go in troubles they used to get enemies as their motivation, and seeing you being hurt by them will feed their narcissistic supply also engaging can also feed their supply. The only thing to do dont show low-self esteem be confident even they sneaky attacking you with words, they will get confused to you, being offended to them and got hurt by them emotionally will give them motivation in their life, thats how narcissist way of motivation.

  • @user-bj2lu9qt3o
    @user-bj2lu9qt3o 3 года назад +3

    Yes, there seem to be not that many vids about the coworker narcissist.
    Thanks!

  • @joanbaczek2575
    @joanbaczek2575 4 года назад +3

    What about the supervisor that yells at you to stop doing something cuz your supposed to do something different starting 15 min previous just because someone randomly decided to change the plan an not let me know. They scold you for doing what you are normally are supposed to do and when I ask how will I know the plan changed so I can find out there is a change before she get frustrated and she acted like I was stupid for not being able to read her mind. What is that kinda bs?

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  4 года назад

      Hang in there @joan - keep track of instructions in writing- get a supervisor involved so that the 'rules' and 'changes' are made clear - this is your best protection. Also stay calm and don't give them reactions.

  • @cautiontothewind277
    @cautiontothewind277 Год назад +1

    They'll ask you to do something they know your not sapose to do as a test...then they'll say you don't work hard enough...then move in for the kill...ONLY of you don't cut it off first.

  • @Imnotyourdoormat
    @Imnotyourdoormat 10 месяцев назад +2

    🎯Bullseye Accurate Video....

  • @juliadavison
    @juliadavison 5 месяцев назад

    I had someone at work like this my ex boss when I worked in care she was abusive to the staff and screaming and shouting at us , telling us we terrible at our jobs,rude and nasty to staff, no one could talk to her she made staff cry and putting the staff team down all the time, it was hell for a whole year and a half ,staff was resigning left right and centre from work, it was going through the whole company like it like forcing old staff to resign and bring in new staff, also we reported it CQC about it the boss at the end was demoted down again but all the old staff left a few months later in mid 2023 as I , glad I left care going to work factory or warehouse but much happier now to be out of there and starting a new Job shortly . Also whilst I was there there was one staff who transferred home to ours as there home was closed and brought there staff to our home, well some of them but this staff member always tries to find fault with my work all the time and reporting me to the boss above who side with her all the time as she had not been there a month, against staff like me who worked there for 10 years , terrible time I had with the both of them. Glad I left now it put me off healthcare as going in to new career field shortly. The management before was nice as the company lost all the nice managers .

  • @JAMamation
    @JAMamation 26 дней назад

    I’m really lucky that I am finally in a job where I have no narcissistic coworkers (yet!) lol

  • @tanishap6760
    @tanishap6760 5 лет назад +8

    It would be nice to hear more about Covert narcissist. These signs described in the video are obvious. That is only one type of narc and anyone sane would see that person as toxic

  • @Chloe-fl2pi
    @Chloe-fl2pi 18 дней назад

    I so want to tag my boss on this video. My NPD coworker is destroying people’s careers and our department

  • @marybowers6090
    @marybowers6090 Месяц назад

    Many narcissists gravitate to middle management. In an office of 12 we have 7 certifiable narcs.oh and we are HR

  • @bambipardis1105
    @bambipardis1105 6 лет назад +2

    I never drank with employees.moderate I was not any degree of drinking my choice as a teen

  • @RM-qq5rj
    @RM-qq5rj 6 месяцев назад

    They're all bad. But, ugh, having a narcissist as a boss is way worse than having one as a coworker. You're trapped and pretty much the only option is to leave.

  • @broGabiza
    @broGabiza 7 лет назад +3

    Great information and tips on narcs! Thanks for your time and effort in making this informative video

  • @Corina-dq2my
    @Corina-dq2my 2 месяца назад +1

    I agree with this list. Thanks 👍

  • @meskisistas
    @meskisistas 2 года назад +5

    I have a colleague who's working ok, organised, looks like she's confident and likes to dominate, to be in charge. She lies about small things almost automatically, even when there's no reason. She's very quick to figure out how to benefit from a situation, pretends to be a little innocent girl when called out, acts like a victim even if she was the first who attacked somebody. Likes to put people down by pointing out mistakes or behaviour that she does herself afterwards. Or likes to remind everyone that she's above them. Always very docile and good girl with managers. Good at pretending. Is that a narcissist? I'm trying to figure her out. Sometimes her lies and hypocrisy are so absurd that it's even funny. But she does not seem to try to draw too much attention towards herself. Just likes control and lies easily.

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  2 года назад +3

      At the very least she is manipulative. It's not so much that we want to label people as to recognize their behaviors so that we are aware of the situation.

  • @chuchiyang7031
    @chuchiyang7031 Год назад +1

    I love the spin around! Gave a like to this for that 😂 but THANKYOU for your knowledge! =] ❤

  • @iamnotme3986
    @iamnotme3986 9 месяцев назад

    They will make your life at work more impossible if you don't bend at your knees for them. I have one at my workplace and everyone is so enamored with her and kiss her butt. I don't do this so she tries her best to make me miserable.

  • @samesquibel5510
    @samesquibel5510 5 лет назад +3

    Thank you I needed that this morning I feel much better after listening to you I'm going to listen to this video couple more time so that it's embedded in my mind and so that I have a handle on the situation again thank you

  • @perytj
    @perytj 6 лет назад +2

    thank you for sharing this ...... i have some people which i have to deal with in daily basis have such as attributes .......

  • @WeeTheSheeple
    @WeeTheSheeple Год назад +1

    You appear lovely! Thanks for sharing your video.

  • @rde4017
    @rde4017 Год назад

    1) Are they, or do they act like, a smarmy sales rep? Bingo.

  • @tamarajarrell6724
    @tamarajarrell6724 3 года назад +1

    Only GOD can help you with these demons

  • @rainmanxqupe8442
    @rainmanxqupe8442 6 лет назад +1

    THIS IS GOING ON AT EPISCAPOL CHURCH MY WIFE WORKS AT THEY EVEN MAKE HER WORK 8 HOURS OVERTIME FOR YEARS AND MAKE HER PUT THE OVERTIME ON THE NEXT CHECK AND DIDNT GIVE HER HOLIDAY PAY FOR A YEAR THEN HAD PAYROLL CLERKS JUGGLE THE BOOKS AND EVEN IT OUT. THEN HIRED NEW STAFF CREW THAT PUNCHED STAPLES IN HER TIRES AND THREW TRASH IN FRONT OF HER CAR AND THE MGR GIVES STAFF CODES TO CABLE AND INTERNET AND TELLS STAFF TO BLOCK HER FROM INTERNET WHEN OFF DUTY EVEN ALL OF THIS IS PART OF HER BENEFIT ITS ALL WRITTEN DOWN.
    THEN THEY GIVE EVERYONE A STAFF CAR FREE AND FOOD BUT SHE HAS TO PAY FOR HER OWN CAR AND FOOD.
    WHEN ITS ALSO HER BENEFIT CAUSE SHES LIKE 10 YEAR PINNED.
    AND THEY STAY OVERNIGHT AT THE WORKPLACE IN ROOMS BUT WHEN SHES IN A ROOM THE MGR CALLS HER AT 2 AM TELLING HER TO PACK UP HER STUUF AND MOVE OUT CAUSE ANOTHER STAFF WANTS THAT ROOM THATS A WHITE PERSON. THIS HAS HAPPENED 47 TIMES.
    THE COOK HAS 12 OR MORE PEOPLE HELPING HER FREELY BUT NO ONE HELPS MY WIFE WITH HER JOB.
    THE LINEN GUY STOLE LIKE 3000 DOLLARS OF SHEETS AND THE MGR SAID ITS OK. AND I CALLED THE MGR TO FIX THE BOOKS CAUSE IT LOOOKS LIKE MY WIFES SHORT.
    AND ITS NOT HER FAULT ITS SHORT.
    THEN I CALL THE BISHOP OFFICE AND COMPLAIN AND THEY GET PISSED. I COMPLAINED THAT DURING HURRICANE
    HARVEYTHE STAFF WERE ALLOWED TO STAY AT THE SAN ANTONIO LOCATION EXCEPT MY WIFES FAMILY. THERE WAS PLENTY OF ROOM BUT THEY I GUESS DIDNT THINK HER FAMILY WAS IMPORTANT ENOUGH.
    THEN THE MGR TAKES THE COOK TO HAWAIIA FOR FREE ALONE AND LEAVES EVERYONE ELSE UNDER THE BUS.
    THE MGR HAS HIS OWN CONDO PAID FOR AND CAR AND GROCERIES AND IS RISKING GOING TO COURT AND LOSING IT ALL BECAUSE HES A NUTCASE. HE DONT LOOK LIKE IT. BUT HE IS.THE RULES AND BENEFIT BOOK STATES ONLINE THAT ALL EMPLOYEES SHALL ENJOY THE SAME SHARE EQUALLY OF EVERYTHING. BUT EXCEPT FOR SPANISH PERSONS THEY SHOULD PUT.
    SHE MAKES 18 AN HOUR AND THEY WANT TO PISS HER OFF AND GET RID OF HER. SHE MAKES 1000 A YEAR IN BONUS.
    ALSO THE MGR STEALS HER TIPS TO THE TUNE OF 2 BUX A DAY. ANYWAYS MORE LATER.

    • @jamesrutter4100
      @jamesrutter4100 Год назад

      Documents proof. They ALWAYS fuck up over the long term. Keep records of everything including recordings of the private conversations they THINK they can simply say "didn't happen"

  • @moniquesmith2684
    @moniquesmith2684 4 года назад +1

    PLEASE tell me how dose one become a. narcissist?? I am trying to understand what is wrong with my mother?? Please help me understand this🤔😢😢😢

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  4 года назад

      She likely had a narcissistic parent or other caregiver. At a young age she lost herself and adapted this behavior.

  • @markeyosef1579
    @markeyosef1579 Год назад

    This is BS. I thought I was going to actually learn something from this video. this one has been the worst one yet.

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  Год назад

      What information would be better, more helpful?

  • @Multimeli123
    @Multimeli123 Год назад +1

    Okay that whole chair thing was just weird and unnecessary, the information was good.

  • @bambipardis1105
    @bambipardis1105 6 лет назад +1

    Back to 1970s right on everything she says

  • @rosalynjolly2565
    @rosalynjolly2565 2 года назад +1

    Confident in my ability and people find out after I'm gone do not bother hurt others supv always low ball downgrade me now I'm old I don't care

    • @jamesrutter4100
      @jamesrutter4100 Год назад

      Yup. Do your job. They will be outed in the end

  • @JenPurple2022
    @JenPurple2022 10 месяцев назад

    I met the worst one at work 😂
    I
    - Always bragging or whining about himself, what he did, he has, how smart and accomplished he is
    - Taking any chance to berate others, if you are not good at X, he will attack on that, making ppl feel stupid and inferior
    - Ass licking the boss, stabbing others, spending most time in boss’s office kick his ass
    - Stealing others work and claiming it as his, disgusting
    - Pretending he knows something but he has no idea
    - paranoid, suspicious, eavesdropping, watching and alienating people
    - shit talking nice hard work people
    - controlling, no boundary, violating your boundary, pointing out your mistake or weakness infront of boss and peers and harshly criticizing it
    - childish, immature, attention seeking weird behaviors, interrupting meeting by mentioning other irrelevant things to distract and confuse ppl
    - Abusive, verbally, in private
    Pure toxic
    Just think they are pathetic, low self-esteem, and distant yourself from them, focus on yourself and your team.

  • @bambipardis1105
    @bambipardis1105 6 лет назад +2

    I dealt with this for 40 years myself

    • @venom5610
      @venom5610 Год назад +1

      Why would you allow that

  • @FeelGoodWithin
    @FeelGoodWithin 6 лет назад +2

    Thankx so much

  • @ketann1973
    @ketann1973 7 лет назад +1

    Thank you so much for this information. Much needed. Bless you!

  • @GuillermoMaganaVEVO
    @GuillermoMaganaVEVO 4 года назад +1

    your blouse is gorgeous!

  • @paulmichaelmarcelo2343
    @paulmichaelmarcelo2343 8 месяцев назад

    I have same co worker. She always complains and never stops observing and critising someone

  • @rosalynjolly2565
    @rosalynjolly2565 2 года назад +1

    60% or more every where

  • @kurtistjones6337
    @kurtistjones6337 5 лет назад +1

    Nice guess. How was the book

  • @bambipardis1105
    @bambipardis1105 6 лет назад +1

    Stuck in their own ways

  • @jasminegalarza2178
    @jasminegalarza2178 9 месяцев назад

    This is AI

  • @starg.8833
    @starg.8833 2 месяца назад

    Spot on. Very accurate information

  • @JD-ck3hr
    @JD-ck3hr 2 года назад +1

    I'm just trying to keep up with them. 😆

  • @rissagotvideos09
    @rissagotvideos09 2 года назад

    Omg what’s the difference between a graduated college student with 7 months of experience to develop their skills in a new workplace that they are passionate about versus someone who exaggerates experience? Is using description in resumes exaggerating?

  • @jimbrow83
    @jimbrow83 5 лет назад +2

    I like what I do but my company and boss suck

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  5 лет назад

      Sounds like it's time for a change @James - start exploring and you'll fine a better situation.

    • @jimbrow83
      @jimbrow83 5 лет назад

      My trade is small and I'm 36 no college degree have a family house etc I feel trapped because of this

    • @FinelyRevealed
      @FinelyRevealed  5 лет назад +1

      We will be posting a new video on how to get out and transition to a better job and will come back and share the link. Keep a good attitude, do your best work and hang in there for a little while.

  • @1ColdFuture
    @1ColdFuture 6 лет назад +1

    ===================2:50

  • @Pelzom888
    @Pelzom888 Год назад

    I have a narcissist orderly women working with me and I am not being able to complain nor ignore her. I wish I don’t have to work with her. 🙏🏻😢

  • @AverageHuman7026
    @AverageHuman7026 Год назад +1

    Classic turn around intro 😂

  • @steffidas4785
    @steffidas4785 Год назад

    an unruly person also doesnt follow the rules,that doesnt make them narcissistic,what makes you narcissistic is you keep switching between words and actions and keep flipping the narrative to make the other person accountable for your own ridiculous idiocy,and repeated idiocy,once you start convincing people what you say is the truth without actually proving that is the truth,the delusion starts,and its easier to stand with the lies

  • @KevinNguyen-zn4vv
    @KevinNguyen-zn4vv 9 месяцев назад

    My new manager was like that. I resigned, a majority of my co-workers resigned, and the manager got sent to re-ed.