His Reputation For Stiffing Lawyers Leaves T**** Struggling To Find Good Defenders

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  • Опубликовано: 7 сен 2022
  • The former president is finding it difficult to hire qualified representation for his federal cases, perhaps due to his decades-long reputation for refusing to pay his legal bills. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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Комментарии • 2,9 тыс.

  • @charliechaos2551
    @charliechaos2551 Год назад +147

    "Flabrador Deceiver" cracked me up. The names for "he who shall not be named" are a riot!

    • @danpowell3953
      @danpowell3953 Год назад +15

      Regarding Trump paying a lawyer with a horse:
      I think Trump could reasonably be called a “Horse Traitor”.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 Год назад +5

      People are definitely creative!

    • @patthenry3568
      @patthenry3568 Год назад +3

      @@danpowell3953 Oh Dan, that was niiice!

    • @pauljohnston9446
      @pauljohnston9446 Год назад

      And his followers are trumpanzees

    • @charliechaos2551
      @charliechaos2551 Год назад +3

      @@pauljohnston9446 Nice! Trumpanzees and Re-Trumplicans

  • @LesterProperties
    @LesterProperties Год назад +748

    Just to be clear, I became a poll worker in 2020, so that older volunteers didn't have to risk their lives. It is a 16 hour day, which requires a lot of focus at the beginning and end for integrity. It is no bake sale.

    • @tracycraft
      @tracycraft Год назад +43

      I joined too in 2020. Fortunately, 8 only do a half shift. But, my mom, brother and sister have done full day shifts. I only did one in November 2020. I was so tired afterwards and dropped my phone breaking it.

    • @ericc.sabadin4513
      @ericc.sabadin4513 Год назад

      MAGA Extreme GQP Seditious Traitors ARE PLANNING on Intimidating and Bullying Senior Citizen Volunteers at the Polling Stations.

    • @JediKnight19852002
      @JediKnight19852002 Год назад +34

      I'm a precinct Chief and also a sixth grade history teacher. I can't imagine being able to keep sixth graders from going insane during a half-day shift.

    • @mykethevet
      @mykethevet Год назад +2

      🤣🤣🤣🤦‍♂️

    • @karenm2334
      @karenm2334 Год назад +19

      I saw that! 16 hours is a crazy long workday.

  • @markmarsh27
    @markmarsh27 Год назад +6

    I've been playing guitar for over 40 years and I have to say I LOVE the way Colbert's new Bandleader plays. He is top notch, perfect tone and perfect playing!

  • @catherinepuma2815
    @catherinepuma2815 Год назад +19

    almost spit my coffee out from laughing at that last joke. "Oh no--that's where we keep our secret files!" XD

  • @winesap2
    @winesap2 Год назад +208

    It’s not just women upset about the overturning of Roe v Wade!

    • @ToniGlick
      @ToniGlick Год назад +35

      Even less feminist leaning men might think about the increased incidence of child support cases this will engender.

    • @elcee949
      @elcee949 Год назад +2

      Beta

    • @markb6295
      @markb6295 Год назад +16

      @@elcee949
      Congratulations....acceptance is the 1st step toward recovery!!!

    • @kyleoates6367
      @kyleoates6367 Год назад

      @@elcee949 All too often have I heard so-called alphas rail against how the courts favor the mother in custody/child support cases... and ALSO support anti-choice legislation.
      You guys purposefully shoot yourselves in your own feet and blame the shoe when it can't stop a bullet.

    • @birdick1307
      @birdick1307 Год назад

      It's not women, though. There are many millions of women who don't support killing babies.
      It's deg3n3rate sloots, and beta male s.0.l.bo1's.

  • @Krieghandt
    @Krieghandt Год назад +25

    Surely stiffing lawyers will never come back to bite you in the arse.

  • @hadeelhoque8589
    @hadeelhoque8589 Год назад +74

    "South Florida is where we keep top secret files." 😂 Best line ever Steven. You are one of my favorite stand up comedians 👍

    • @singvogel7895
      @singvogel7895 Год назад +1

      Actually, as a former MI soldier in Germany who has experience with NSA SCIFS, I bet you dollars to doughnuts the we have a field station in southern Florida. To monitor Cuba. So, yeah, actually we DO store TS/SI there, more than likely.

    • @robertb.7772
      @robertb.7772 Год назад

      @@singvogel7895 "Winston Churchill, a catholic priest, and Snoop Dog walk into a bar..."
      Singvogel: "Actually, as a former bartender, this scenario is highly unlikely."

    • @singvogel7895
      @singvogel7895 Год назад +2

      @@robertb.7772 LOL, ok, well, no one ever said I did not have an eye for the obvious! And you clearly have an affinity for finely absurdist language. Well done, that man. 🙂

    • @robertb.7772
      @robertb.7772 Год назад +1

      @@singvogel7895 Thanks for having a sense of humor. Have a nice weekend!

    • @hadeelhoque8589
      @hadeelhoque8589 Год назад +2

      @@singvogel7895 if that is true, then they better relocate their storage area since South Florida is going to drown 🙄 thanks to Global Warming.

  • @RamblinJer
    @RamblinJer Год назад +315

    I did a job for Trump about 10 years ago and knowing how contractors often get stiffed I informed payment was due at time of service. One of 2 or 3 accountants at location provided his (Trumps) credit card. Swiping it, it got declined every time tried. His accountant ended up paying his bill, lol. Either way I got my money! 😛

    • @elizabethwatt8131
      @elizabethwatt8131 Год назад

      THAT is PATHETIC! tRumps credit card was declined??!!!!!!
      Thank Heaven you got your money! The Accountant would find a way to get paid, hopefully. Cheap, crooked, lying, broke, fraud bastard, pretending to be rich. The only job he’s ever had, that paid, was as the president. They shoulda denied his pay check. The bastard never did a day’s work and constantly squandered hundreds of MILLIONS taking Airforce1 everywhere, and the helicopter every weekend just to go to fucking maralardo!

    • @fifthbusiness1678
      @fifthbusiness1678 Год назад +6

      Uh ... ok

    • @nycatlady2314
      @nycatlady2314 Год назад +39

      Good for you. Too many were cheated by this jerk

    • @anthonyzullo
      @anthonyzullo Год назад +10

      Make sense. I've seen this happen at my business. Watchingba secretary pay for their boss. O saw it at a dinner once and it instantly made me not wanna work with the woman.

    • @carolynpspk3912
      @carolynpspk3912 Год назад +24

      I knew a Jersey contractor who did stonework and masonry on his New Jersey casino and trump basically told him he would get less than half of what was owed or else be bankrupted through lengthy lawsuits. Didn't even cover the materials, and so the company went bankrupt anyway.

  • @g.g.matuga4986
    @g.g.matuga4986 Год назад +45

    🤣”Please let this go to trial😂,”Stephen Colbert.

  • @maxcushingham3468
    @maxcushingham3468 Год назад +16

    Florida! That’s where we keep our top secret files! Had me in stitches. 😂

  • @Author_Alyssa_Taylor
    @Author_Alyssa_Taylor Год назад +9

    So pleased The Late Show was respectful of my queen's passing. I am Canadian and I gave her flowers years ago. Was one of the highlights of my life.

  • @Shuizid
    @Shuizid Год назад +7

    And yet he is STILL walking free and even getting special treatment from the judge. So much for "nobody is above the law".

  • @syvnwckdsyns3159
    @syvnwckdsyns3159 Год назад +840

    As a high school teacher and ER nurse, you have kept me walking the tightrope of sanity… satire at its finest ❤️

    • @mmmountain1968
      @mmmountain1968 Год назад +90

      how tf do u balance both of those traumas, u legend

    • @jamesgoines7663
      @jamesgoines7663 Год назад +23

      Thanks for all you do.

    • @roccocupido5082
      @roccocupido5082 Год назад

      Boy the bar for SATIRE has certainly become EXTREMELY low...boy if THIS is satire today....but of course it isn't..it is sour smug shitlib corporate funded propaganda....(for BRACING..SANE...MEANINGFUL SATIRE try George Carlin..Mort Sahl...LENNY BRUCE...the late lamented Colbert of the Group Bush Washington Correspondence Dinner..) satire at its finest..yeah right

    • @michaelmcgregor7374
      @michaelmcgregor7374 Год назад

      Total bullshit is what it is!!! On par with "The View"!!!

    • @weatherornotheresmike9303
      @weatherornotheresmike9303 Год назад +10

      Thank you for what you don

  • @pm6693
    @pm6693 Год назад +24

    Just to cut in and say: thanks, Stephen. From a very sombre UK, I really needed to hear and join in with the laughter this morning.

  • @ccompeaux1
    @ccompeaux1 Год назад +2

    That was an awesome way to end that monologue! 😂

  • @gram2977
    @gram2977 Год назад +20

    Love you Stephen! You keep me laughing through these crazy times we live in.

  • @JerryRigEverything
    @JerryRigEverything Год назад +1076

    Lol - that ending. Best joke in years.

    • @AngelaKSellsHomes
      @AngelaKSellsHomes Год назад +36

      Omg why isn't that all everyone is taking about. 🎤💥

    • @raybin6873
      @raybin6873 Год назад

      Be ironic if a top secret doc had info declaring the melting ice will flood Florida and we are doomed.

    • @davidswanson5669
      @davidswanson5669 Год назад

      How disappointing that a fellow elder is found drunk and pacified on mainstream propaganda.

    • @kashifkhan1042
      @kashifkhan1042 Год назад +23

      Jerry is a Colbert fan!!!

    • @James_T_Quirk
      @James_T_Quirk Год назад

      Thwaits 3 to 10 sea level rise, Greenland another 1 to 3 rise, hmmm, Heatwaves Everywhere, Drought, or Floods, as somebody who spent 40 years trying to get idiots to look at Data, its as I suspected, until it starts happening People will not Believe in Climate Change, Strangely there are video docs from 1989 predicting were we are now ... Better buy some water-wings .. or maybe a igloo & warm Clothes, cause when all that Fresh Water run off Greenland, it will stop the Ocean Heat Pump that keeps Europe Warm, it happened in 1500's "the Little Ice Age" to small extent, but that was just a Glacial Ice dam in Canada collapsing and pouring Gigatons of fresh water down St Lawrence River into North Atlantic, so maybe a little more ICE-AGE like conditions, PS thru Ice-core analysis they found it happened in less than 20 years, switching to colder extremes ..

  • @VinlandAlchemist
    @VinlandAlchemist Год назад +7

    Proud to see the pre-message - my Canadian blood appreciates you all with huge thanks

  • @QDSLand
    @QDSLand Год назад +6

    I am sure the lawyer that was to be paid with a horse said
    "Screw you ....and the horse you rode in on"
    Funny stuff... keep them coming 👍👍👍👍👍

  • @juanitaespinoza6619
    @juanitaespinoza6619 Год назад +1

    Thanks Mr C for keeping it real.

  • @andrewd5185
    @andrewd5185 Год назад +232

    I'm so glad Stephen is back, T****'s constant onslaught of BS is tough to bear without someone bringing bit of levity to the table.

    • @Miller_Time
      @Miller_Time Год назад +3

      He's not Voldemort, you can say his name

    • @HobertMallow
      @HobertMallow Год назад +7

      @@Miller_Time who?

    • @chrisgullett4332
      @chrisgullett4332 Год назад

      Damn! Y'all are so week you are now editing his name? That Trump Derangement Syndrome has got y'all down bad. Toughen up pansy! Y'all need to be deprogrammed from that cult called the Democrat Party. They got y'all making fools of yourselves, and y'all do not even realize it. This is pure comedy gold.

    • @elegantgypsyrose5328
      @elegantgypsyrose5328 Год назад +8

      Why would we want to foul our taste buds saying his name? I just call him Lord Cheeto

    • @chrisgullett4332
      @chrisgullett4332 Год назад

      @@elegantgypsyrose5328 Weak people can never say their foes names. just like when y'all could not say Islamic terrorist. The first step in being brave is saying the enemies name. If y'all cannot say Trump then you are either super weak, which we all know is true, or just following your cult leaders orders, which we also know is true. Again, y'all need deprogrammed stat. The Democrat Party is evil, and they are playing y'all like fiddles. They target the dumb, because they know they can use you. It is fun watching.

  • @waltonsimons12
    @waltonsimons12 Год назад +101

    I like to think Colbert first got the idea for that "stable genius" joke back in 2018, and he's been waiting patiently ever since for the perfect moment to use it.

    • @allangibson8494
      @allangibson8494 Год назад +1

      And Mr Ed aka Bayard wanted credit…

    • @kierstenridgway4634
      @kierstenridgway4634 Год назад +1

      Just like when I hear teen slang and wait until just the right moment to embrace my kid. 😆❤️✌️

    • @acciousername6776
      @acciousername6776 Год назад +4

      @@kierstenridgway4634 My mom does that, and I'm 25! 🤦🏻‍♀️😄❤️

    • @Echo81Rumple83
      @Echo81Rumple83 Год назад +6

      And now Randy Rainbow's parody is running thru my head 😆

    • @WyvernYT
      @WyvernYT Год назад +2

      If America wanted a stable genius we would have voted for Mister Ed.

  • @judybritt6288
    @judybritt6288 Год назад +6

    Colbert's jokes are funny- because they highlight true problems.
    I'm a Georgian. Fulton County (in Atlanta) is having trouble finding not only enough poll workers, but directors for the November election. The Director of Elections here quit after the 2020 election because of all the threats & undeserved criticism. We currently have an interim director who does not want the job and has refused an offer to make it a permanent position. To date, that position is still unfilled. Who would want a job that is high pressured, knowing they will be threatened & criticized no matter how well they do the job? Oh, and add to that the fact that you could go to jail if you are accused of breaking your oath & not doing your job properly.
    We have Trump & the Republicans to thank for that.

    • @hd259607
      @hd259607 Год назад

      Yep. Just like teachers. Who wants a job where everything you do is wrong?

  • @amandalockwood2291
    @amandalockwood2291 Год назад +2

    Thank you for the comments at the start about the passing of our Queen xx

  • @vash121086
    @vash121086 Год назад +226

    I agree with Stephen please let that go to court. It would be absolutely hilarious. Also with deep regards to the royal family may the queen Rest In Peace she’ll be missed.

    • @_Atzin
      @_Atzin Год назад +6

      Anti-fascist but pro-monarchy?

    • @melwelker6077
      @melwelker6077 Год назад +2

      @@_Atzin you're funny

    • @markbriten6999
      @markbriten6999 Год назад +11

      @@_Atzin since the queen was in the armed forces during WWII why would you assume she's a fascist?

    • @niamhdwyer5237
      @niamhdwyer5237 Год назад +8

      @@_Atzin I mean I am anti Fascist AND anti monarchy but even I recognize the queen was a great woman and, more importantly, that she was a person who is now dead, with a family.

    • @avidnongetit8710
      @avidnongetit8710 Год назад +3

      Besides the hilarity if he doesn't get prosecuted our Democracy truly ends.. equal Justice under the Law..

  • @kmtrahan01
    @kmtrahan01 Год назад +145

    Rudy went from “America’s Mayor” to “Dr Head Juice”
    Seems pretty accurate to me. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @small3687
    @small3687 Год назад +3

    Stable genius had me dying. He does have a Colt following.

  • @Dan-nt2yb
    @Dan-nt2yb Год назад +4

    Stephen’s Eric Trump impersonation gets my day going in a positive way.☺️👍🏾

  • @Sjalabais
    @Sjalabais Год назад +90

    It’s magic how he keeps the apocalypse light and funny. My best spent 10 minutes of the day.

  • @TheSunflowerGalaxy
    @TheSunflowerGalaxy Год назад +101

    The Orange con's knowledge of national secrets would mean he can't be housed with a general prison population.
    He'll have to be completely isolated from the world in every respect. Perhaps in a mountain or on an empty prarie with an outhouse.
    Can you imagine what it would do to a complete narcissist to be cut off from every source feeding his ego?🕊

    • @celestialstar6450
      @celestialstar6450 Год назад

      Put him in solitary and throw away the key

    • @juliemissick4206
      @juliemissick4206 Год назад +22

      There’s a supermax prison in Florence, Colorado that he could be housed in. Literally one hour per day outside your cell (which you have to yourself) for recreation. The rest of the time he’d be in total isolation. The perfect place for him. He wouldn’t even need the Secret Service people to watch him there.

    • @triciac1019
      @triciac1019 Год назад +9

      ​@@juliemissick4206 sounds perfect!

    • @lisawise9849
      @lisawise9849 Год назад +6

      @@juliemissick4206 sounds like a perfect place for him.

    • @watersportsbyjamesfitzroy5870
      @watersportsbyjamesfitzroy5870 Год назад +4

      That sounds like a dream!

  • @stanleyban
    @stanleyban Год назад +1

    That's nice that you placed a disclaimer honoring Queen Elizabeth,'s passing,!!
    👍👍👍

  • @kellig.6819
    @kellig.6819 Год назад +4

    You take take the very real fear out of what's going on and make it funny. it helps me cope. Thank you. ❤

    • @michaeld9682
      @michaeld9682 Год назад

      The fear should be old Joe buying anti radiation drugs for his impending ww3
      You are more concerned with trump and the propaganda

  • @jayneberkley9742
    @jayneberkley9742 Год назад +72

    I’m with Stephen……please let this go to trial😂😂😂

  • @Opus313
    @Opus313 Год назад +242

    Even OJ was able to hire a legal dream team... Donnie has assembled a legal nightmare!

    • @ttacking_you
      @ttacking_you Год назад +14

      They shared a Derschowitz, once.fuck , the "man" IN OFFICE literally had to get one of O.J. Simpsons lawyer's, I don't even know how you begin to defend that?

    • @pzsoldat2516
      @pzsoldat2516 Год назад +3

      Great comment

    • @ttacking_you
      @ttacking_you Год назад

      We're all "Flooded" with embroglios. wait!!! this f****** show listed all of the scandals on the chalkboard one time the real question is who put that up????

    • @lucy2014
      @lucy2014 Год назад

      And I hope his life ends up a living nightmare! He deserves the worse life has to offer!

    • @intomnia3313
      @intomnia3313 Год назад +3

      The defense for oj received many good things from the publicity alone. Imagine trump’s defense? Good publicity or bad?

  • @le2800
    @le2800 Год назад +31

    Even though saddened by the passing of the Queen, I have to admit that tonight's jokes were really on point, especially the ending one. Sorry for the loss of the Queen. That was nice of the show to acknowledge it beforehand. Our prayers are with all of her family and her country as you mourn her loss. God Bless!

    • @mnomadvfx
      @mnomadvfx Год назад +3

      It had to be acknowledged before the show because the next show wasn't for 3 days.
      After 3 days time it comes under the heading of too little too late.

    • @1stAC
      @1stAC Год назад

      @@mnomadvfx this guy late shows

    • @lorraineclark4413
      @lorraineclark4413 Год назад +3

      WHO CARES about another country's aristocrats? WHY ON EARTH are Americans acting like the British upper class charade is any of our concern?

    • @rubberducky4074
      @rubberducky4074 Год назад

      @@lorraineclark4413 It would be nice for Americans to realise they are not the centre of the universe and that other countries exist. The Queen is worldwide known influential figure who was the Head of the UK & the wider Commonwealth (which other countries can voluntarily join). They raise billions for the economy & charity each year, something politicians & presidents rarely achieve. Americans state they have a modern system of governance yet Trump & Jan 6 would prove otherwise. Republics whether America, France, Brazil, Russia or China have proven to be prone to coups & civil wars. Many of the top countries in the world freedom index are constitutional monarchies where power is shared and kept in check with the PM & Monarch.

  • @laranadesign4764
    @laranadesign4764 Год назад +5

    I smiled the whole time, this bit is so funny and true. I'm glad I'm not in public looking like the antisocial but optimistic person that I am, staring endearingly at my phone and chuckling.

  • @stephenwedderburn9307
    @stephenwedderburn9307 Год назад +66

    Things are really bad when even shyster lawyers are afraid of taking your case lol 😆

    • @stephenwedderburn9307
      @stephenwedderburn9307 Год назад +1

      @@bobbytookalook hahaha 😆, plus they'd definitely need to be paid up front by trump so they could pay their lawyers!

  • @Neil070
    @Neil070 Год назад +55

    Thank you so much for the message at the start. As a long time fan of the Late Show, it's touching and much appreciated 🇺🇸 🇬🇧

    • @kellig.6819
      @kellig.6819 Год назад +7

      I am a long time admirer of The Queen. So many Americans are saddened by the passing of this Lovely Lady ❤❤❤

    • @barbaraschuld8206
      @barbaraschuld8206 Год назад +4

      Sorry for your loss.😞🇺🇲

    • @JoseOrtiz-zx8sf
      @JoseOrtiz-zx8sf Год назад

      You appreciated the message mocking the queen and her subjects? :).

    • @le2800
      @le2800 Год назад

      ​@@JoseOrtiz-zx8sf Why don't you leave this site you trouble making Trumpist! There was absolutely nothing wrong or mocking sounding about it. That mockery is obviously already alive and well within your tiny mind.

    • @le2800
      @le2800 Год назад +5

      This was an exceptionally good monologue tonight. I immensely enjoyed it. However, I was immensely saddened to hear about the Queen. I appreciated Stephen Colbert and his staff including that much felt sentiment at the beginning of the monologue.
      Even though she wasn't our Queen we Americans have always been so ensconced in the lives of your royal family that when Princess Diana passed it was as if we had lost a beloved member of our own family. It feels the same way now that we are hearing about the Queen since she has been around throughout most of our lives.
      Our sympathy to Her Majesty's family and her countrymen and women. God Bless you all.

  • @yalondahowell9960
    @yalondahowell9960 Год назад +4

    LOL I love your show Stephen Colbert I look forward to it every day I would even watch you on weekends🤗🤗🤗

  • @janetbooth9268
    @janetbooth9268 Год назад +2

    Stephen, you were on your top game last night, kudos soooooo funny!

  • @talscorner3696
    @talscorner3696 Год назад +50

    Seeing people going to vote always makes me happy

  • @BlueJazzBoyNZ
    @BlueJazzBoyNZ Год назад +13

    even Lionel Hutz, Attorney At Law is not returning Donald's calls

  • @carolinehernandez7221
    @carolinehernandez7221 Год назад +1

    The word ‘subjects’ was a deliberate shade. Hello from the 🇬🇧

  • @papasmurf1904
    @papasmurf1904 Год назад +1

    That very last snippet was hilarious! 😂

  • @debrahelmlinger6256
    @debrahelmlinger6256 Год назад +15

    Damn right, we're mad as hell. VOTE, VOTE, VOTE

  • @rattusgrenadus8291
    @rattusgrenadus8291 Год назад +171

    I teach con law and had a student ask if we could cover the various defenses trump has used in court regarding constitutional law and i said sure when he comes up with one ill discuss it in student hours

    • @dday9433
      @dday9433 Год назад +27

      Trying to explain the extreme lack of legal procedure in his filings to non lawyers is also a challenge... flashback to my law school civil procedure professor thundering "procedure IS law." LOL.

    • @rattusgrenadus8291
      @rattusgrenadus8291 Год назад +9

      @@dday9433 please dont remind me of civpro

    • @peaceloveharmony7213
      @peaceloveharmony7213 Год назад +18

      Excellent reply to your student. ✌🏼🇺🇸

    • @ericc.sabadin4513
      @ericc.sabadin4513 Год назад +9

      NO DEFENSE...HE COMMITED ESPIONAGE!

    • @blaisemacpherson7637
      @blaisemacpherson7637 Год назад

      You know Don Crowley?

  • @SilentKnight43
    @SilentKnight43 Год назад +1

    Thoughtful of you to add the message about the passing of the queen. Monologue was hilarious as always.

  • @tanyajackson-smith5504
    @tanyajackson-smith5504 Год назад +3

    Good one, Stephen. A stable genius.

  • @iamanomas
    @iamanomas Год назад +347

    He doesn’t need lawyers. He’s got judges!

    • @rebeccacamacho-sobczak4282
      @rebeccacamacho-sobczak4282 Год назад +7

      Good idea!!!

    • @notsure1969
      @notsure1969 Год назад +8

      Heyooooooo!

    • @sks1258
      @sks1258 Год назад +1

      Trump needs his head examined to see what the heck happened to his brain.

    • @dudleyburleson8668
      @dudleyburleson8668 Год назад

      He got unknown lawyers that handed your asses to you In the Senate impeachment trial remember? I do I loved it

    • @dudleyburleson8668
      @dudleyburleson8668 Год назад

      @notfiveo the last ones he got made fools out of you morons in the. Senate impeachment trial remember? I do

  • @donadams8345
    @donadams8345 Год назад +14

    Why does he need to worry about lawyers when he can go judge shopping.

  • @NguyetNguyen-tj1wr
    @NguyetNguyen-tj1wr Год назад +1

    Love Colbert’s delivery always the best!

  • @janea4777
    @janea4777 Год назад +1

    Haha “lord, please let this go to trial”. 😂😂😂😂

  • @ivo4357
    @ivo4357 Год назад +18

    Sometimes being stubborn can be good: if people make it difficult for me to vote, I'll be even more determined to vote. So when they start scaring away poll workers, SIGN ME UP!!! Don't let them scare you away from deciding your own future.

  • @toddboughn5168
    @toddboughn5168 Год назад +13

    A stable genius! A horse is a horse, of course of course...

  • @babyblue61549
    @babyblue61549 Год назад +1

    Oh I’ve missed you Stephen. Thank you 🙏 I need the lol in my mornings.

  • @dianemitchell1717
    @dianemitchell1717 Год назад +3

    Thank you sooo much for helping me laugh amid the chaos. You are the best, Stephen.

  • @allisoncastillo9992
    @allisoncastillo9992 Год назад +8

    And you forgot to mention about the judge WITH NO EXPERIENCE 😁

  • @ddjr6673
    @ddjr6673 Год назад +6

    The beginning of the video was immensely touching and thoughtful - thank you 🙏

  • @donutarmageddon7975
    @donutarmageddon7975 Год назад +1

    The world has only ever had one stable genius. Mr. Ed.

  • @BiscuitsInSeptember
    @BiscuitsInSeptember Год назад +1

    This monologue was perfection

  • @KennethD000
    @KennethD000 Год назад +9

    I wasn’t expecting the impromptu Eric, thanks 😂😂

  • @Opus313
    @Opus313 Год назад +299

    Good luck at the Emmys, Late Show! You certainly deserve several wins!

    • @corybeez89
      @corybeez89 Год назад +3

      enjoy it while you can, this form of media is dying due to nobody watching anymore. ask Stephen how his ratings are compared to 10 years ago. any of the top 30 current popular podcasts brings in more viewers and followers than Stephen's show and many others COMBINED. I'm surprised anyone is still watching honestly

    • @Justafeller
      @Justafeller Год назад +1

      @@corybeez89 It's a small percentage of what used to. Stephen and his kind are obsolete. They know it and their leftover fans will figure it out before long. People are sick of listening to arrogant loud mouth talk show hosts who spew hate and division. That's all Stevie Boy does. He's a coward.

    • @migueltherrera2059
      @migueltherrera2059 Год назад

      Hey how does it feel to be #2

    • @melwelker6077
      @melwelker6077 Год назад +1

      @@corybeez89 OMG, not so; can't even begin to name a right wing late night host. We love Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers etc over here in Australia. 😁🇦🇺. They are funny & talented & you know it. Murdoch media is for douche bags.😂

    • @melwelker6077
      @melwelker6077 Год назад +16

      @@Justafeller Projection much?

  • @ellenfisher5750
    @ellenfisher5750 Год назад

    "I know how you feel, Bill" - hysterical!!!!!! Love that Eric impression!!!!!

  • @JeffreyGoddin
    @JeffreyGoddin Год назад +1

    I worked in Homestead in orchards, avocados, lychee, starfruit, longan. 10 feet of sea level rise would reduce most of Florida to a few islands, namely landfills. Unimaginable that we're letting this happen.

  • @altzana396
    @altzana396 Год назад +5

    Oh no! Not southern Florida! Can it take Texas too? Asking for a friend.

  • @AaronTremblay
    @AaronTremblay Год назад +26

    He still owes my city thousands after one of his crack pot festivals a few years back

  • @palehorse6250
    @palehorse6250 Год назад +1

    best lol! "Oh no, not southern Florida! That's where we keep our top secret documents!" LMFAO

  • @donrobertson4940
    @donrobertson4940 Год назад +5

    We all get mailed a card with our name on it. It has a reference to our record in the printed electoral roll. We show the card to the poll workers, they look it up in no time.
    For people who go on about democracy so much, Americans aren't very good at running elections. It might sound crass, but sometimes you've got to spend a little money in the things you love, or you'll find they're no longer there for you.

    • @ElissaStark514
      @ElissaStark514 Год назад

      Glad it's always gone so smoothly for you. Not everyone has such as easy time.

  • @TheOGClassicMan
    @TheOGClassicMan Год назад +34

    Thoughts and prayers to the Royal Family and the people of England.

  • @maruvia
    @maruvia Год назад +30

    I missed you Mr. Colbert

  • @lorrainegill7654
    @lorrainegill7654 Год назад +1

    You are simply the best Steve. Even extinction is funny.

  • @FrikInCasualMode
    @FrikInCasualMode Год назад +1

    I feel it was the most heartfelt prayer Stephen said in a very long time. And if it come to pass, it would be hilarious to watch.

  • @jessetorres8738
    @jessetorres8738 Год назад +63

    To put in perspective how long The Queen lived & served, she was born when Coolidge was President, been on the throne since Truman was President, & has been around to see 39% of our country's history.

    • @tylerkochman1007
      @tylerkochman1007 Год назад

      Also, Biden has been around for over 32% of US history since 1776. Our country is young, and our president is old.

    • @baknights14
      @baknights14 Год назад +10

      She's met 14 presidents since her reign began from Truman to Biden. And had 15 prime ministers as well.

    • @nemofan111
      @nemofan111 Год назад +3

      Very interesting and sad at the same time

    • @dyent
      @dyent Год назад +7

      She served as a medic during WW2, which ended only 7 years before she inherited the throne.

    • @jeaniebird999
      @jeaniebird999 Год назад +1

      Wow

  • @evillyn7895
    @evillyn7895 Год назад +33

    I just cannot get enough of that guy's infectious laughter. Somehow it just makes the jokes seem even funnier.

  • @davidarmillie4226
    @davidarmillie4226 Год назад +1

    I have to agree with the ending joke: It would be a real shame if Mara-lardo was underwater! That's where we store our biggest secret documents! LOL!

  • @CreationTribe
    @CreationTribe Год назад +1

    "Oh no! Not southern Florida! That's where we keep our top-secret files!" haha ... priceless

  • @kylebrister7608
    @kylebrister7608 Год назад +178

    What Colbert is missing is you can have a clown car load of attorneys if you own the judge.

    • @dsddala467
      @dsddala467 Год назад +8

      But the case will be tried in DC, not some podunk civil court in a corner of Florida with only 1 judge.

    • @wyskass861
      @wyskass861 Год назад

      There are appeals in which there will be a 3 judge panel.

    • @id10t98
      @id10t98 Год назад

      Courts arent stacked with A right wing nut job Judge, they're stacked with right wing nut job Judges. That's plural.

    • @evandaymon8303
      @evandaymon8303 Год назад +1

      Those three judges are also appointed by trump from what i heard so yea. Unless they are going to judge fairly. I think we need to add a law to prevent people like trump to be judged by a biased judge. On both sides honestly and with independent judge for a more fair outcome

  • @mtJane
    @mtJane Год назад +133

    It's SO good to have you back, Stephen. Love how you hit the nail on the head on current events.

    • @ryangoodwin3799
      @ryangoodwin3799 Год назад +4

      @Special Master never heard of her.

    • @Mr.Brewer83
      @Mr.Brewer83 Год назад

      @@ryangoodwin3799 You should have, it's only killing this cringe propaganda dance theory every night in the ratings!

    • @markb6295
      @markb6295 Год назад

      @@Mr.Brewer83
      Is she hot?

    • @Mr.Brewer83
      @Mr.Brewer83 Год назад

      @@markb6295 Apparently with the late night demographics.

  • @joyceedwards3336
    @joyceedwards3336 Год назад +3

    Excellent opening as Always! Without your Humor we all would have killed ourselves by now…or get drunk every day 😁👍🏻👏🏻 thank you

  • @sisuguillam5109
    @sisuguillam5109 Год назад +3

    I'd rather have Doris spend an hour looking up a name than her getting it wrong.
    Thanks to all the Dorises out there, whichever country you are in.

  • @yodel1300
    @yodel1300 Год назад +6

    The note at the start was nice. Love from UK

  • @Elizabeth-mp6tr
    @Elizabeth-mp6tr Год назад +22

    Sweet hope!!! Lol Thank you Stephen for keeping us in the normal realm of sanity with laughter!

  • @zaiologyy
    @zaiologyy Год назад +1

    When Stephen shines the whole world gets better

  • @katherinekelly5380
    @katherinekelly5380 Год назад +1

    Women are furious! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

  • @lspiegel5704
    @lspiegel5704 Год назад +84

    I’m surprised he’s looking for a lawyer. With his ego you’d think he believes he’ll never be indicted. Get it in gear DOJ. Any other citizen would already be in jail!

    • @adoculos4521
      @adoculos4521 Год назад

      Try to keep up with the legal process dummy.

    • @corbeau-_-
      @corbeau-_- Год назад +2

      So why did he hire Cohen for years?The dude always needs a lawyer - he's been sued countless of times...

    • @corbeau-_-
      @corbeau-_- Год назад

      And the Orange knows only idiots defend themselves in court - no matter how much you look down on him.

    • @lspiegel5704
      @lspiegel5704 Год назад +1

      @@corbeau-_- Who said sued? Can’t you read? I said indicted. The bigger the charge the more his ego is inflated.

    • @lspiegel5704
      @lspiegel5704 Год назад

      @@corbeau-_- Everybody looks down on him. Some just don’t want to admit it.

  • @Jadeskorpion
    @Jadeskorpion Год назад +21

    The note about the Queens passing at the beginning was very nice.

    • @johnwattdotca
      @johnwattdotca Год назад +3

      I'm only of Scottish ancestry. I thought it was a comedy disclaimer.

    • @tbarnes36
      @tbarnes36 Год назад +3

      @@johnwattdotca I thought using “subjects” was supposed to be funny. Are the people of the UK still called the Queen’s, now the King’s, subjects?

    • @itwasagoodideaatthetime7980
      @itwasagoodideaatthetime7980 Год назад +7

      @@tbarnes36 Yes the British constitution refers to them as Subjects of the Crown.

    • @johnwattdotca
      @johnwattdotca Год назад

      @@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980 There isn't a lot of humanity in that title.

    • @wendigo63music55
      @wendigo63music55 Год назад +1

      @@tbarnes36 In Canada, the title of its populace changed with the Statute of Westminster (1931). All the Queen's Loyal British Subjects in the Dominion of Canada (ie. those Loyal British Subjects resident in Canada as of 1931), and also those of us born here after 1931 who are Canadian citizens (and so are not named Loyal British Subjects) grieve her death. Long live the King.

  • @karenwhinesmore9347
    @karenwhinesmore9347 Год назад +1

    Always Excellent Stephen!! I love your Eric impression 😁😁😁

  • @zoeturner8172
    @zoeturner8172 Год назад +1

    It's the "I'm sorry Doris" for me

  • @shazaadibrahim4361
    @shazaadibrahim4361 Год назад +103

    It doesn't matter how much of a joke his lawyers are, it's not like he'll do any time or anything. The US justice system is the real joke

    • @b1646717
      @b1646717 Год назад +5

      Sad fact

    • @uofm4life735
      @uofm4life735 Год назад

      The whole Biden administration is the real joke. F**k all libs.

    • @michaelmcgregor7374
      @michaelmcgregor7374 Год назад +1

      Yes, especially with the democrats in charge!!!

    • @ddd8828
      @ddd8828 Год назад +17

      o yeah i bet the GOP woulda done such a fantastic job at prosecuting trump lmao

    • @uofm4life735
      @uofm4life735 Год назад

      @@michaelmcgregor7374 They won't be in charge much longer unless they get the FBI & big tech to interfere again.

  • @Jefuslives
    @Jefuslives Год назад +13

    It doesn't matter if you've got a good defender, or even a defense when the judges are in your pocket.

  • @constancedean8047
    @constancedean8047 Год назад +1

    I worked the polls in 2020 at the height of COVID and trump madness, from 6am-12midnight. I was compensated less than 2.00 per hour. And they wonder why they can't find poll workers. 🙄

  • @yowzephyr
    @yowzephyr Год назад

    1:56 Absolutely, definitely the funniest prayer that I have ever seen in my life.

  • @Genny-Zee
    @Genny-Zee Год назад +26

    Stephen doing an Eric trump impression is the greatest thing to happen on late night tv since Jimmy Fallon ruffling trumps hair.

  • @VincentCastaneda96
    @VincentCastaneda96 Год назад +21

    Every time he roasts Eric and Trump Jr it’s hilarious, pure gold lmao

  • @katbrown1449
    @katbrown1449 Год назад +3

    Yes. We need to keep the roe v wade issue attention up
    We don't wnat to have local givernors deciding what we can do and that subject to change every 4 years. We are not chattel with our uterus owned by a governor. It is a basic human right. That need to be nationally safe. Common sense and humanity.

  • @sharmanr.hankins8372
    @sharmanr.hankins8372 Год назад

    That last joke was the top! "Oh, no! Southern Florida is where we keep our files!" 😅

  • @judithsullivan2815
    @judithsullivan2815 Год назад +8

    Brilliant absolutely brilliant as usual. He takes the edge off the end of the world 🤭🤪😂

  • @richardosbourne3346
    @richardosbourne3346 Год назад +123

    I really miss John's energy, sending him and his family much love and respect.

    • @debmainas
      @debmainas Год назад +13

      John Batiste much love to you and your wife!!!!

    • @sheilasmith1109
      @sheilasmith1109 Год назад +7

      I thought John B was coming back after some needed time off! Could someone please help me understand the scoop about him? Sounds like he’s not!🙀🥲

    • @mypillowguy445
      @mypillowguy445 Год назад +19

      @@sheilasmith1109
      His wife is battling cancer.

    • @toastysock
      @toastysock Год назад +4

      I didn't even notice he was gone

    • @Darknamja
      @Darknamja Год назад +16

      @@sheilasmith1109 Jon Batiste is leaving The Late Show With Stephen Colbert after seven years. The band leader will be replaced by Louis Cato, who has served as interim bandleader this summer. The recent Grammy winner is departing to pursue personal and professional interests. Aug 12, 2022

  • @anthonyzullo
    @anthonyzullo Год назад

    "I know how you feel bill!' So stupid! I love it!

  • @hatchetman3662
    @hatchetman3662 Год назад

    That last joke was pure fire.