Definitely work. Always a convenient excuse. Can't talk...busy with work. Traveling for work... Can't talk after work, "too tired, I talk all day for work and so I don't want to after" etc.
"Spitting out" sounds way too merciful and personal compared to their actual behavior when they deactivate. Blank, robotic, confused, impersonal - BRIC, almost like a brick. There, I invented a new term xD
@anthonyc5039 I get your comparison but replicants still seem way better. They are machines programmed to behave in a certain way. In movie its dramatic and sad but they could easily be programmed to behave otherwise. Avoidants are human beings which behave in a way that I wouldn't believe exists if I didn't experience it myself. I knew about psychopaths, narcissists, bipolars, BPD etc but this is something special. It makes me think about sad state of society and our culture in an almost completely new way.
After a year I realized…I never had sex with my ex girlfriend sober. Not once. Hundreds of times and not once were we ever intimate without alcohol. Just thinking of this now makes me feel so bad about myself. As much as it nuked me when she discarded me out of the blue…I truly think it was for the best.
I've seen a dismissive avoidant addicted to social media. My personal experience with a Borderline was multiple drug addictions: First with alcohol and opiates, then after rehab, alcohol and valium. Multiple addictions simultaneously is very difficult for them to recover from. The difference is one is "merely" an attachment style, the other is a personality disorder (much more life consequential)
Just coping with a very raw break up with someone like this. My now Ex, over the last 8-10 months became more and more addicted to smoking and an online mobile game, which added to the alcohol pulled him further and further away from me. Despite me trying so hard to bring him back all my attempts failed. I could not compete with these 3 addictions. Even though he knew why i could take no more. I am so broken.
This is completely true…. My husband is severely dismissive avoidant and he is a very addictive personality. At one time Alcohol was a problem, he’s addicted to chew, lottery tickets, sports-especially football, basketball, any of his college alma-mater sports, WORK. He will constantly be on his phone, actively avoids eye contact. He does all of this to AVOID interaction with me and anyone else who may want to engage with him in any emotional manner.
coach, how about recording a new video about whether an avoidant is jealous of his ex-partner and how they feels when his ex-partner is in a new and happy relationship.
Yup 👍🏾 the DA i know has addiction to alcohol , gambling , and shopping . I told him all about the dopamine rush he is seeking that he can only be fulfilled by Jesus that all nothing else will make u feel whole … i told him he uses the drinks as a mechanism
My ex was an alcoholic ended up sleeping with a openly gay females and told her she felt unloved by me but never told me at all so I left her and she can be with that girl only thing is the relationship is private and nobody knows the time I wasted was unbelievable she wasn’t worth it at all
My FA does not have any addictions. He is extremely traditional and conservative, so he is still a virgin. His only addiction is the gym, so he has a very fit body
This is what is so heartbreaking about being close to a dismissive avoidant. You know these are coping mechanisms but they dont. 😢🙏
Definitely work. Always a convenient excuse. Can't talk...busy with work. Traveling for work... Can't talk after work, "too tired, I talk all day for work and so I don't want to after" etc.
I feel so sorry for them but from a distance. I would never get involved with one again. They will suck you in only to spit you out.
"Spitting out" sounds way too merciful and personal compared to their actual behavior when they deactivate. Blank, robotic, confused, impersonal - BRIC, almost like a brick. There, I invented a new term xD
@ 🤣 I agree. It feels like you’re just some brick that they grabbed and threw at a window!
@ In my experience, they become like a brick and I just wonder with whom I spent all that time. I don't allow others to throw me anywhere.
@@MarkoKraguljacI compared mine to a bladerunner / replicant. I swear she was a robot.
@anthonyc5039 I get your comparison but replicants still seem way better. They are machines programmed to behave in a certain way. In movie its dramatic and sad but they could easily be programmed to behave otherwise.
Avoidants are human beings which behave in a way that I wouldn't believe exists if I didn't experience it myself. I knew about psychopaths, narcissists, bipolars, BPD etc but this is something special. It makes me think about sad state of society and our culture in an almost completely new way.
After a year I realized…I never had sex with my ex girlfriend sober. Not once. Hundreds of times and not once were we ever intimate without alcohol. Just thinking of this now makes me feel so bad about myself. As much as it nuked me when she discarded me out of the blue…I truly think it was for the best.
I've seen a dismissive avoidant addicted to social media. My personal experience with a Borderline was multiple drug addictions: First with alcohol and opiates, then after rehab, alcohol and valium. Multiple addictions simultaneously is very difficult for them to recover from. The difference is one is "merely" an attachment style, the other is a personality disorder (much more life consequential)
This is true 100%
Just coping with a very raw break up with someone like this. My now Ex, over the last 8-10 months became more and more addicted to smoking and an online mobile game, which added to the alcohol pulled him further and further away from me. Despite me trying so hard to bring him back all my attempts failed. I could not compete with these 3 addictions. Even though he knew why i could take no more. I am so broken.
This is completely true…. My husband is severely dismissive avoidant and he is a very addictive personality. At one time Alcohol was a problem, he’s addicted to chew, lottery tickets, sports-especially football, basketball, any of his college alma-mater sports, WORK. He will constantly be on his phone, actively avoids eye contact. He does all of this to AVOID interaction with me and anyone else who may want to engage with him in any emotional manner.
So sorry he trap u 😒 how you can live like this ?
My ex needed alcohol to open up and to even be as intimate as one could get being an avoidant.
coach, how about recording a new video about whether an avoidant is jealous of his ex-partner and how they feels when his ex-partner is in a new and happy relationship.
My avoidant uses alcohol as his addiction
My ex addicted to game, shopping, alcohol and smoke.
Baam, what a grandslam
Yup 👍🏾 the DA i know has addiction to alcohol , gambling , and shopping . I told him all about the dopamine rush he is seeking that he can only be fulfilled by Jesus that all nothing else will make u feel whole … i told him he uses the drinks as a mechanism
My ex was an alcoholic ended up sleeping with a openly gay females and told her she felt unloved by me but never told me at all so I left her and she can be with that girl only thing is the relationship is private and nobody knows the time I wasted was unbelievable she wasn’t worth it at all
Wow interesting thank u
My FA does not have any addictions. He is extremely traditional and conservative, so he is still a virgin. His only addiction is the gym, so he has a very fit body
His values might have the power to overtake his FA tendencies, so things could work - especially If he is willing to acknowledge his style
It might be the AA their drug?
yes porn addiction is a huge one! but I would of totally watched it with him 😊
SKYDIVING, ??