I have recently heard (again) a statement that I think fits the situation of betrayal: Hurt people....hurt people. A happy, emotionally/mentally healthy person would never hurt someone they love. But emotionally damaged people can. And do. After 10 months of trying hard to recover from the discovery of significant betrayal (30+ years of secrets and lies) and many months of reading/study, counseling, therapists/counselors videos (thank you Mr. Jay) we have begun to understand the reasons WHY. Parental/mother enmeshment and its horrific damage has nearly cost us our 42 year relationship--and a 40 year marriage. If you believe you or your partner are crippled by this, seek HELP. Don't wait.
Why would you offer the unfaithful a pass? There may or may not be forgiveness. That is for the betrayed to give. But there will always be consequences. They need to face those consequences.
Nothing about this post gives anyone a pass. Pain and wounds don’t discriminate and certainly those that make hurtful decisions are often hurting themselves.
wise words
I have recently heard (again) a statement that I think fits the situation of betrayal:
Hurt people....hurt people. A happy, emotionally/mentally healthy person would never hurt someone they love. But emotionally damaged people can. And do.
After 10 months of trying hard to recover from the discovery of significant betrayal (30+ years of secrets and lies) and many months of reading/study, counseling, therapists/counselors videos (thank you Mr. Jay) we have begun to understand the reasons WHY.
Parental/mother enmeshment and its horrific damage has nearly cost us our 42 year relationship--and a 40 year marriage. If you believe you or your partner are crippled by this, seek HELP. Don't wait.
100%
Why would you offer the unfaithful a pass? There may or may not be forgiveness. That is for the betrayed to give. But there will always be consequences. They need to face those consequences.
Nothing about this post gives anyone a pass. Pain and wounds don’t discriminate and certainly those that make hurtful decisions are often hurting themselves.