Alright, since some have suggested it and asked me to, I provided a link to donate if you feel inclined to my PayPal. I feel the need to stress this. DO NOT feel guilted or anything to do this. I need to stress that. I never want to ask and I never will. Link is there for those interested. For those that aren't, thank you for watching and supporting. You guys are amazing and I've been tearing up all afternoon reading comments. You're all the best and from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
When you came back to youtube, in 2022, i've noticed that you were speaking very slowly and soft compared to 2017,18,19. And I wondered what was the about. I can see you're getting better, you're talking way more cleary than a year or two ago. I've been following your channel for years, that was a tough video. I hope nothing but the best for you
@@alanfreires6631 Thank you so much. Genuinely, thank you. I recorded this about 3 days ago, but I couldn't get myself to edit it until this morning because it's difficult to talk about since I kinda relive it. Yeah, I was in a total fog from the meds. In hindsight, I was a literal zombie with nothing really left of myself.
Really appreciate the honesty in this one man. Ive been here since 2012. Ive seen you go through a lot over the years. Thanks for sharing a piece of your heart with us. Always be suspicious of medications drs give for mental health/deppression. As bad as what you went through was, its a blessing your off of that stuff now
Holy sh*t man. I'm so glad that you're alright. I've been watching your channel for ages. You got me into Revenge and Conquerer. Medication is absolutely no joke! I'm so sorry that all of this happened to you. I've been dealing with really severe health issues for over a decade and I can empathize with your struggle. You're a really good dude and you don't deserve any of this. This is something I try and tell myself as often as I can, things CAN get better! Keep going, you'll make it through this!
Once you started to describe the epileptic symptoms I almost got a panic attack. I have had these exact symptoms since I was 15... It's like an extremely intense deja vu of a dream I had, but it's so abstract I can't put my finger on the memory. It kind of feels like I'm re-dreaming the dream in real time. I don't freeze up and drool, but I can barely think straight, can't communicate or barely even navigate the environment. And it lasts for like 10-20 minutes. It's not a regular thing for me, maybe a few times a year. Not sure what I should do about it... But as a long time follower of this channel this just hit me so hard to hear from you.
Damn.... I really hope shit gets better for you. Thank for the knowledge about these drugs. I've never communicated with you. But I've enjoyed your videos for years. I feel for you man!
Man I'm sorry you went through all of that, I'm glad you're feeling better now though, been watching you for about a decade now & your videos always put a smile on my face, stay strong man ❤🍻
Glad you reached out and got it off your chest, brother. Chipped in a little for you. Stay strong and wish you the best in getting to the bottom of any ailments you might have.
I'm gonna keep this as brief as I can. I know we haven't spoken in a long time, but I've always considered you an awesome friend, especially given that we became friends when I was an annoying dipshit teenager lol. I especially cherish those memories of going on those Skype calls with a bunch of people. I'm really glad you're still here with us, Shawn.
I relate so much with being close to my mom and I dread the day she passes. You are a warrior for staying true to your word for your mom and for keeping on going since 2018.
im here for a long time. i remember back in 2018 when the video about your mom came out. i want to wish you nothing but the best for the future. You made it through another tough chapter. Lots of love and stay safe
Hey man been watching your videos since I was a young lad. You were someone that recommended me a lot of good music. My mom passed from cancer when I was about 16 so I get where you're coming from. I am really sorry you have gone through this, and I hope you are doing better these days.
dude sue your doctor straight up, the fact that she didn't suggest therapy, or a support group, or at the very most extreme a psychiatrist is malpractice. I am so sad for you man and went through something similar. A psych put me on 6 meds at once and I experienced something similar. No desire. No memory. And a crushing insanity far greater than I ever felt.
The statute of limitations is such a kick in the nuts man. I had a solid case against my former employer for destroying my life. Another ex employee who was fired on the same day as me sued and won a lot of money and because I was busy with life I waited too long and was told I could no longer sue.
Thanks for sharing this man. Im so sorry to hear that this happened. I have had friends take stronger doses than necessary of anti-anxiety meds in the past and it has messed them up before. Not nearly to this caliber, but it does happen, and It sucks. I hope you find peace very soon 🤘
Damn man, that's so incredibly fucked, glad you're feeling better now though. As a surprise to no one, this isn't the first time I've heard about something like this and that makes me wonder what the fuck is wrong with the US medical system.
Been watching you for 12 years since I was a freshman in HS, and you've introduced me to so many ways to appreciate and view music. Not just metal, but every type of genre. Even some of the snythwave you've shown off has given me a new realm to explore. As Ive watched you over the years, I've seen you go through tough times that I couldnt even begin to imagine what it must be like. I'm praying for you though, man. I know that sounds corny, and trust me. It does. I'm not even religious much myself, but if there is a higher power out there, I'm wishing the best for you. Nobody deserves to go through half the sh!t you've been through. On a side note, I did notice the weight loss. Never mentioned it just because I didnt want to come across as making it seem like its a big deal and whatnot. I was unaware that theres possibly a darker side to that story. I'm glad you're with us, man. And just know that I'm not going anywhere. You're not just a content creator, you've had an impact on a large chunch of my life and it pains me to see you struggling. Love you, Count. ❤ Sending all best wishes your way.
This story angers me deeply. What an absolutely horrible situation, I really hope for you to stay strong through all this and for that doctor to face justice even though that's unlikely.
Been subbed for about 10 years, love you bro. As someone who used to work in a pharmacy in the UK it's honestly insane to me how readily American doctors prescribe extremely powerful drugs seemingly without even considering the possible consequences. Prescribing an anti-psychotic for depression without even mentioning the possible side effects and without trying something more typical first is utterly moronic. I know about how the US massively overprescribes benzos, stimulants and powerful opiates etc but this seems particularly dangerous and honestly nonsensical. I've taken SSRIs for depression and they helped me a lot, but even those aren't something to be given out like candy imo. Anyway it's great that you're off of Abilify, those withdrawal symptoms sound horrific. Much love.
I’m super bummed to hear all that happened man. Obviously you don’t want a pity party, as most people who have struggles don’t, but none the less I can’t help but say it. We’re here for ya dude, I’ve been watching you since I was 14 and I’m 26 now, and you’re almost the exclusive reason I like the music I do. I had a substantially less serious issue happen with a wrong medication. I had a medication I took for an ear infection that gave me panic attacks. Well turns out I never had an ear infection and didn’t need the medication, and ever since then I’ve had pretty severe OCD symptoms. Obviously it’s nothing compared to your story, but nonetheless I hate to hear how often incorrect medication is prescribed.
Scary stuff man, I'm glad you've been able to identify the cause and are on the right path to get right again. I can't even imagine how difficult these last couple of years must have been for you. I know it's been a while but I'm always in your corner man, don't be afraid to reach out. Also, I don't know how much research you've done already, but I really think its worth talking to a lawyer if you haven't, you might have more options available than you realize. I'm wishing nothing but the best for you going forward man, it sounds like you've been through hell
What a nightmare scenario. The statute of limitations might apply to the stroke and not the prescription in terms of timeline. You might consider a Go Fund Me as well.
@@benng4376 I was already on the meds beyond the NY statute of limitations. Even if I attempted to sue her the moment I had the seizure, I had already been taking it for over 3 years. 3 years is all you have from the date of a prescription. On top of that, nearly every lawyer said that those side effects are listed, so not only is the doctor completely covered, but so is the manufacturer. Absolutely nothing can be done to make this right. I've had the Go Fund Me suggested a few times, but I don't feel right taking money from people. Ever. I have pride and I NEVER judge people that go that way, but I just can't get myself to do anything like that. I don't even feel that good about having donation link on my channel, but my friends and people in my life tell me to keep it up. I dunno. I just want to stand on my own feet. Straight up though, my car is dead and essentially totaled, I have to sell my belongings to pay my phone bill, not even counting the debts I have from not being able to pay certain bills. Now my insurance is wanting me to pay back everything from the last 2 years. Before people ask about how I still get records, I sold a bunch of my more expensive/ones I don't play anymore on Reddit. Take that money, pay that months bills, then throw the rest back on the shelf. Why? Because this is one of the only things that brings me joy at this point. I also have some awesome friends that will get some for me. Also some amazing label owners send me stuff for free. Maybe I'm mentally ill to love records so much, but it's what gets me through sometimes. We all have our own things that get us though, I guess.
i so feel you about taking care of your mom on your own fr, im in simillar situation myself i take care of my mom by myself so massive respect for taking great care of her on your own I know how hard it is n can be stressful AF among other things n throughts. massive respect n also apologies for that I imagine its hard talking about that subject but, super glad your doing better fr! that sounds like legit hell w all the medical stuff omg plus something wrong w that doctor recc'ing you thst pill known to fuck you up like that..
Dude, I'm sorry to hear all this happened. I've been watching for years and love your videos and this is just heartbreaking how a doctor can be so negligent. It's genuinely scary and I truly wish you all the best and for things to get back on track!
feeling like you are loosing your grup on reality has to be one of the most terrifying things you can experience. its why im never doing psychadelics ever again
Thanks for sharing your story. I can relate to some of the stuff you're going through. I lost my mom in October 2018. And I'll be honest, when you came back I could tell something wasn't right with you. I thought maybe you were struggling with addiction. I'm glad that you have figured everything out and are on a positive path now. I'm still battling my demons.
@@forever_underground I'm so sorry for your loss. Yeah, it was just the meds. I never dabbled with drugs outside of weed and never will. I don't even drink. It's insane what kind of damage those kinds of meds have.
I feel for you brother. I lost my dad over the summer and i know exactly how you feel, i too feel like a different person in a way but loss of a parent you are so close with changes you. it's normal to feel this way grief is not a straight line and different for everyone. i only stopped crying everyday about a month ago but i still miss him terribly. I know you cannot get the "doctor" that prescribed you this crap but you might be able to sue the manufacturer of this drug. look into it. wishing you peace and stability in the new year.
Dude that's fucking awful. I'm so sorry you went through all this. But I'm glad you're still here. I hope your financial situation vastly improves really quickly.
Oh my God I am so sorry. I can relate to you when it comes to helping your mom I did that for my grandma and now I am doing it for my dad. I lost my grandmother and that crushed me she was by best friend. I am so sorry about your situation my heart breaks for you. If something ever happens to you I would be so crushed. I haven’t been watching your videos very long but I must say, you’re a great RUclipsr also I hope you have better days ahead filled with peace because that is what you truly deserve. I am looking forward to see you triumph.
I have a lot in common with you brother. My mother died in 2017 from cancer and diabetes. She was my best friend too. Although it gets a little easier over the years I have never gotten over it. Like you, I was on Abilify but for maybe half a year when they took me off of it. I've been on antidepressants, anti psychotics, mood stabilizers, anti anxiety meds since I was 16 and now 47. So a long ass time. I've never had a seizure but have had severe health issues related to some of these psych meds. Lithium, Depakote, and Haldal being the worst. The diabetes I have and related issues is on me but having bladder problems and all that crap is on those damn drugs. Anyways, I know you don't know me brother but look from one metalhead to another, I'm here for you. I've been through all of that shit. Recently lost my pinky toe due to a diabetic foot ulcer that the ER didn't tell me how to properly treat. It turned into a deadly bout of osteomyelitis. To say I've been depressed is the understatement of the year. If you need to talk or bitch or anything man, shoot me a message.
Hey man , the situation you described is absolutely egregious . I had my own experience with horrible drugs (antidepressands in somewhat experemental form) that worsen my condition so much , it felt like i was not myself anymore. Stay strong and fuck the corrupted nature of drug companies and their dealers.
Hey dude. I've loved your channel for many many years. So sorry this happened to you... I'm not gonna pretend that I can imagine how all this felt to you, but I just wanted to tell you that there's people out that care. I hope we can meet one day at a show or something, even with me being from Croatia and living so far away from you, but I hope it happens. Stay strong brother. 👊
I've heard benzo and anti-psychotic med withdrawal is crazy bad... i went through my own episode of bad opiod withdrawal. People that haven't went through such things can't imagine the special insane hell that stuff is, i feel ya man.. Seems to me the "statute of limitations" wouldn't only apply to when something was first diagnosed and medicted (or in this case MISdiagnosed and MISmedicated) but also when the prescription was last filled and provided. You may already know all the details and have been legally consulted but if you haven't, man i URGE u to get a consultation. U could probably at least get that free of charge even if u have to call around. Best of luck to u bro, better days will be ahead. Keep fighting!
I've done both butt kicking 280 mg cold turkey in county jail for 7 months was the worst time of my life... I promised myself I would never do that again!
my situation with grand mal seizures was different, but I eventually just decided to stop taking antiseizure medication after years of being on it, and hell, I've been two years seizure free since I stopped taking the meds, funny how that happens. Doctors don't know everything just because they're doctors. Life lesson I had to learn. Cheers, stay safe, Hails! \m/
That being said, the human brain is very complicated and everyone has different brain wirings and we're all obviously wired differently in regards to our neurons, I'm not giving medical advice. What works for some people , might not work for others.
Oh my gosh thats terrible I cant relate to the seizure or medication but I almost became homeless and had no job at one point it was fucking awful on top of dealing with some sort of anxiety/panic attack disorder which I am still dealing with but im alot better off now than I was ..... Thank God I have a job now and am in a lot better standing than I was I wish you well Count your vids really helped cheer me up when I was down and introduced me to alot of bands I now love....As for jobs I would look into temporary job agencies or work from home jobs hope this helps Count take care of yourself....
I'm so sorry to hear that, but I'm genuinely happy to hear you're getting better! As for the job thing, there's quite a bit that goes with that. I'm currently 33. I didn't have a full time job until I was 27. Then at 32, all of this happened, and now I have another gap on my resume. People around here see that and won't even give me the courtesy of a phone call, even though I was praised highly at every other job I had.
Same here bro i had a seizure due to my tbi and it aint fun. Now im on 2 serious 💊💊💊. I would love to join to the military, but idk if i can now even w/o gonna though a act of congress.
Was on that for all of middle school and most of high school until I decided to just stop taking it and it was a nightmare. I’ve been off it for well over 10 years and I still struggle with the emotionless personality and all that, I try to explain to people but most just don’t understand. To them I just don’t care about anything. Lost many friendships and it makes dating difficult. I think it cause permanent damage or something to my brain and it sucks yo
Hey dude, I’m a physician. First off, I’m sorry this has happened to you, abilify is an outdated med to start for depression because you are right it’s an antipsychotic first and foremost. I think meds should be a last resort, and recommend patients see a therapist and work on other life aspects (sleep, diet, exercise, hobbies, getting the hell away from shitty people or shitty jobs) first. If that doesn’t work, then going to a medication in the class of SSRI/SNRI but at a sub therapeutic dose just to get the body used to it and to see how the patient reacts. Everyone reacts differently, but I’ve had great success with my patients this way. I don’t go for antipsychotics unless, well, you’re psychotic, but even then I’m not thrilled about it. Abilify has the lowest seizure risk of all antipsychotics, little medication interactions, and little weight gain, so that’s why outdated doctors might grab it, but it isn’t ideal for the side effects you described. With all that said, it is concerning that you’ve lost all that weight without really trying. I worry that something else is potentially going on, something like a thyroid issue or cancer or your adrenal glands could cause weight loss and seizure-like episodes too. So, if that hasn’t been worked up, I really suggest it. Keep up the good fight, friend.
I'm taking antidepresants and pills Against Anxiety...i got better....but sometimes i still feel like there is a second brain thinking for me... And than panic attack ..
I genuinely hope they're helping and not just leaving you comfortable with dark thoughts. Anxiety is awful. I get it so bad sometimes, I'll feel freezing cold and shiver. Taking some slow deep breaths with my eyes closed can help with that from time to time.
Easily the best Metal channel on RUclips. You've got me into many great bands over the years. Always loved your thoughtful but no BS attitude. Stay strong, things will get better
I am so sorry man. That whole situation is so horrible especially when you were already grieving. If you decide to accept donations I would give and I'm sure a bunch of your viewers would as well. Hang in there man. You're a good human. The way you cared for you Mom is so heartwarming. So sorry for your loss. Without a doubt she would be so proud of you ❤🩹
Alright, since some have suggested it and asked me to, I provided a link to donate if you feel inclined to my PayPal. I feel the need to stress this. DO NOT feel guilted or anything to do this. I need to stress that. I never want to ask and I never will. Link is there for those interested. For those that aren't, thank you for watching and supporting. You guys are amazing and I've been tearing up all afternoon reading comments. You're all the best and from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Thank you Shawn count blagorath.
I appreciate everything youve done on RUclips for so many years
That's horrible, but you survived an experience most people couldn't even imagine. Stay strong brother ❤
I’ve discovered so many new bands because of your videos. Thanks man.
When you came back to youtube, in 2022, i've noticed that you were speaking very slowly and soft compared to 2017,18,19.
And I wondered what was the about.
I can see you're getting better, you're talking way more cleary than a year or two ago.
I've been following your channel for years, that was a tough video. I hope nothing but the best for you
@@alanfreires6631 Thank you so much. Genuinely, thank you. I recorded this about 3 days ago, but I couldn't get myself to edit it until this morning because it's difficult to talk about since I kinda relive it.
Yeah, I was in a total fog from the meds. In hindsight, I was a literal zombie with nothing really left of myself.
Really appreciate the honesty in this one man. Ive been here since 2012. Ive seen you go through a lot over the years. Thanks for sharing a piece of your heart with us. Always be suspicious of medications drs give for mental health/deppression. As bad as what you went through was, its a blessing your off of that stuff now
Holy sh*t man. I'm so glad that you're alright. I've been watching your channel for ages. You got me into Revenge and Conquerer. Medication is absolutely no joke! I'm so sorry that all of this happened to you. I've been dealing with really severe health issues for over a decade and I can empathize with your struggle. You're a really good dude and you don't deserve any of this. This is something I try and tell myself as often as I can, things CAN get better! Keep going, you'll make it through this!
Once you started to describe the epileptic symptoms I almost got a panic attack. I have had these exact symptoms since I was 15...
It's like an extremely intense deja vu of a dream I had, but it's so abstract I can't put my finger on the memory. It kind of feels like I'm re-dreaming the dream in real time.
I don't freeze up and drool, but I can barely think straight, can't communicate or barely even navigate the environment. And it lasts for like 10-20 minutes.
It's not a regular thing for me, maybe a few times a year. Not sure what I should do about it...
But as a long time follower of this channel this just hit me so hard to hear from you.
Damn.... I really hope shit gets better for you. Thank for the knowledge about these drugs. I've never communicated with you. But I've enjoyed your videos for years. I feel for you man!
damn man, glad your still here. we are here for you.
Man I'm sorry you went through all of that, I'm glad you're feeling better now though, been watching you for about a decade now & your videos always put a smile on my face, stay strong man ❤🍻
Glad you reached out and got it off your chest, brother. Chipped in a little for you. Stay strong and wish you the best in getting to the bottom of any ailments you might have.
I'm gonna keep this as brief as I can. I know we haven't spoken in a long time, but I've always considered you an awesome friend, especially given that we became friends when I was an annoying dipshit teenager lol. I especially cherish those memories of going on those Skype calls with a bunch of people. I'm really glad you're still here with us, Shawn.
Hey dude i'm not a regular watcher (only watched maybe 2 or 3 of your videos but they were cool) nevertheless i wish you well for the future 💪🏻🤘🏻
I relate so much with being close to my mom and I dread the day she passes. You are a warrior for staying true to your word for your mom and for keeping on going since 2018.
@@slaythembeforeme That made me tear up. Thank you so much.
im here for a long time.
i remember back in 2018 when the video about your mom came out.
i want to wish you nothing but the best for the future. You made it through another tough chapter.
Lots of love and stay safe
Hey man been watching your videos since I was a young lad. You were someone that recommended me a lot of good music. My mom passed from cancer when I was about 16 so I get where you're coming from. I am really sorry you have gone through this, and I hope you are doing better these days.
dude sue your doctor straight up, the fact that she didn't suggest therapy, or a support group, or at the very most extreme a psychiatrist is malpractice. I am so sad for you man and went through something similar. A psych put me on 6 meds at once and I experienced something similar. No desire. No memory. And a crushing insanity far greater than I ever felt.
Doctors are so quick to prescribe psych meds with no training in mental health and its having disastrous results
The statute of limitations is such a kick in the nuts man. I had a solid case against my former employer for destroying my life. Another ex employee who was fired on the same day as me sued and won a lot of money and because I was busy with life I waited too long and was told I could no longer sue.
Thanks for sharing this man. Im so sorry to hear that this happened. I have had friends take stronger doses than necessary of anti-anxiety meds in the past and it has messed them up before. Not nearly to this caliber, but it does happen, and It sucks. I hope you find peace very soon 🤘
Hey man. Wishing you well. What a clusterfuck.
Damn man, that's so incredibly fucked, glad you're feeling better now though. As a surprise to no one, this isn't the first time I've heard about something like this and that makes me wonder what the fuck is wrong with the US medical system.
Been watching you for 12 years since I was a freshman in HS, and you've introduced me to so many ways to appreciate and view music. Not just metal, but every type of genre. Even some of the snythwave you've shown off has given me a new realm to explore.
As Ive watched you over the years, I've seen you go through tough times that I couldnt even begin to imagine what it must be like. I'm praying for you though, man. I know that sounds corny, and trust me. It does. I'm not even religious much myself, but if there is a higher power out there, I'm wishing the best for you. Nobody deserves to go through half the sh!t you've been through.
On a side note, I did notice the weight loss. Never mentioned it just because I didnt want to come across as making it seem like its a big deal and whatnot. I was unaware that theres possibly a darker side to that story. I'm glad you're with us, man. And just know that I'm not going anywhere. You're not just a content creator, you've had an impact on a large chunch of my life and it pains me to see you struggling. Love you, Count. ❤ Sending all best wishes your way.
I'm so sorry to hear all that. Wish you nothing but the best! Much love & respect from Finland!
This story angers me deeply. What an absolutely horrible situation, I really hope for you to stay strong through all this and for that doctor to face justice even though that's unlikely.
Been subbed for about 10 years, love you bro. As someone who used to work in a pharmacy in the UK it's honestly insane to me how readily American doctors prescribe extremely powerful drugs seemingly without even considering the possible consequences. Prescribing an anti-psychotic for depression without even mentioning the possible side effects and without trying something more typical first is utterly moronic. I know about how the US massively overprescribes benzos, stimulants and powerful opiates etc but this seems particularly dangerous and honestly nonsensical. I've taken SSRIs for depression and they helped me a lot, but even those aren't something to be given out like candy imo. Anyway it's great that you're off of Abilify, those withdrawal symptoms sound horrific. Much love.
@@cheese1678989 America has this disgusting obsession with benzos, I would nearly quit practicing medicine before prescribing them.
That is awful, I'm very sorry to hear. I'm hoping for better things to come.
I’m super bummed to hear all that happened man. Obviously you don’t want a pity party, as most people who have struggles don’t, but none the less I can’t help but say it. We’re here for ya dude, I’ve been watching you since I was 14 and I’m 26 now, and you’re almost the exclusive reason I like the music I do.
I had a substantially less serious issue happen with a wrong medication. I had a medication I took for an ear infection that gave me panic attacks. Well turns out I never had an ear infection and didn’t need the medication, and ever since then I’ve had pretty severe OCD symptoms. Obviously it’s nothing compared to your story, but nonetheless I hate to hear how often incorrect medication is prescribed.
Shit man, sorry this happened to you. All of it. Stay strong and keep getting better. It appears you're already doing so.
Shawn, this is so awful and I’m so sorry you went through this awful ordeal. I wish you better days, to stay strong and be well.
It feels like this kinda bullshit always happens to the nicest best people. So incredibly unfair, you are so strong!
Holy shit man, so sorry you had to go through all that. Stay strong brother 🙏🏾\m/
Scary stuff man, I'm glad you've been able to identify the cause and are on the right path to get right again. I can't even imagine how difficult these last couple of years must have been for you. I know it's been a while but I'm always in your corner man, don't be afraid to reach out.
Also, I don't know how much research you've done already, but I really think its worth talking to a lawyer if you haven't, you might have more options available than you realize.
I'm wishing nothing but the best for you going forward man, it sounds like you've been through hell
What a nightmare scenario. The statute of limitations might apply to the stroke and not the prescription in terms of timeline. You might consider a Go Fund Me as well.
@@benng4376 I was already on the meds beyond the NY statute of limitations. Even if I attempted to sue her the moment I had the seizure, I had already been taking it for over 3 years. 3 years is all you have from the date of a prescription. On top of that, nearly every lawyer said that those side effects are listed, so not only is the doctor completely covered, but so is the manufacturer. Absolutely nothing can be done to make this right.
I've had the Go Fund Me suggested a few times, but I don't feel right taking money from people. Ever. I have pride and I NEVER judge people that go that way, but I just can't get myself to do anything like that. I don't even feel that good about having donation link on my channel, but my friends and people in my life tell me to keep it up. I dunno. I just want to stand on my own feet. Straight up though, my car is dead and essentially totaled, I have to sell my belongings to pay my phone bill, not even counting the debts I have from not being able to pay certain bills. Now my insurance is wanting me to pay back everything from the last 2 years.
Before people ask about how I still get records, I sold a bunch of my more expensive/ones I don't play anymore on Reddit. Take that money, pay that months bills, then throw the rest back on the shelf. Why? Because this is one of the only things that brings me joy at this point. I also have some awesome friends that will get some for me. Also some amazing label owners send me stuff for free. Maybe I'm mentally ill to love records so much, but it's what gets me through sometimes. We all have our own things that get us though, I guess.
i so feel you about taking care of your mom on your own fr, im in simillar situation myself i take care of my mom by myself so massive respect for taking great care of her on your own I know how hard it is n can be stressful AF among other things n throughts. massive respect n also apologies for that I imagine its hard talking about that subject but, super glad your doing better fr! that sounds like legit hell w all the medical stuff omg plus something wrong w that doctor recc'ing you thst pill known to fuck you up like that..
Dude, I'm sorry to hear all this happened. I've been watching for years and love your videos and this is just heartbreaking how a doctor can be so negligent. It's genuinely scary and I truly wish you all the best and for things to get back on track!
Wishing you nothing but the best.
appreciate the video man👍🏻good to raise awareness, sorry to hear you've been through it
Thank you for everything man. Hope for the best for you and for the best in life🤘
So sorry you had to go through that man. I hope you have better days moving forward. Much love ❤
Be strong, brother. I watch your channel so many years. Be strong!
feeling like you are loosing your grup on reality has to be one of the most terrifying things you can experience. its why im never doing psychadelics ever again
@@wotanjugend974 Huge reason I'll never touch those on top of the fact, I know myself well enough to know I don't have a brain built for that.
Thanks for sharing your story. I can relate to some of the stuff you're going through. I lost my mom in October 2018. And I'll be honest, when you came back I could tell something wasn't right with you. I thought maybe you were struggling with addiction. I'm glad that you have figured everything out and are on a positive path now. I'm still battling my demons.
@@forever_underground I'm so sorry for your loss. Yeah, it was just the meds. I never dabbled with drugs outside of weed and never will. I don't even drink. It's insane what kind of damage those kinds of meds have.
I feel for you brother. I lost my dad over the summer and i know exactly how you feel, i too feel like a different person in a way but loss of a parent you are so close with changes you. it's normal to feel this way grief is not a straight line and different for everyone. i only stopped crying everyday about a month ago but i still miss him terribly. I know you cannot get the "doctor" that prescribed you this crap but you might be able to sue the manufacturer of this drug. look into it. wishing you peace and stability in the new year.
Holy shit dude, that's rough, hope you find a way through this awful situation. Stay strong man!
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my mom at 9 years old. I'm glad you're doing better since your seizure. Keep up the good work man you got this
Dude that's fucking awful. I'm so sorry you went through all this. But I'm glad you're still here. I hope your financial situation vastly improves really quickly.
This is awful. I'm so sorry Shawn.
Oh my God I am so sorry. I can relate to you when it comes to helping your mom I did that for my grandma and now I am doing it for my dad. I lost my grandmother and that crushed me she was by best friend. I am so sorry about your situation my heart breaks for you. If something ever happens to you I would be so crushed. I haven’t been watching your videos very long but I must say, you’re a great RUclipsr also I hope you have better days ahead filled with peace because that is what you truly deserve. I am looking forward to see you triumph.
we love you man
I have a lot in common with you brother. My mother died in 2017 from cancer and diabetes. She was my best friend too. Although it gets a little easier over the years I have never gotten over it.
Like you, I was on Abilify but for maybe half a year when they took me off of it. I've been on antidepressants, anti psychotics, mood stabilizers, anti anxiety meds since I was 16 and now 47. So a long ass time.
I've never had a seizure but have had severe health issues related to some of these psych meds. Lithium, Depakote, and Haldal being the worst. The diabetes I have and related issues is on me but having bladder problems and all that crap is on those damn drugs.
Anyways, I know you don't know me brother but look from one metalhead to another, I'm here for you. I've been through all of that shit. Recently lost my pinky toe due to a diabetic foot ulcer that the ER didn't tell me how to properly treat. It turned into a deadly bout of osteomyelitis. To say I've been depressed is the understatement of the year. If you need to talk or bitch or anything man, shoot me a message.
There must be some legal action against that 'dr', dude. Thats horrible
Hey man hope you you feel better, love your channel
Hey man , the situation you described is absolutely egregious . I had my own experience with horrible drugs (antidepressands in somewhat experemental form) that worsen my condition so much , it felt like i was not myself anymore. Stay strong and fuck the corrupted nature of drug companies and their dealers.
Hey dude. I've loved your channel for many many years. So sorry this happened to you... I'm not gonna pretend that I can imagine how all this felt to you, but I just wanted to tell you that there's people out that care. I hope we can meet one day at a show or something, even with me being from Croatia and living so far away from you, but I hope it happens. Stay strong brother. 👊
I've heard benzo and anti-psychotic med withdrawal is crazy bad... i went through my own episode of bad opiod withdrawal. People that haven't went through such things can't imagine the special insane hell that stuff is, i feel ya man..
Seems to me the "statute of limitations" wouldn't only apply to when something was first diagnosed and medicted (or in this case MISdiagnosed and MISmedicated) but also when the prescription was last filled and provided. You may already know all the details and have been legally consulted but if you haven't, man i URGE u to get a consultation. U could probably at least get that free of charge even if u have to call around.
Best of luck to u bro, better days will be ahead. Keep fighting!
I've done both butt kicking 280 mg cold turkey in county jail for 7 months was the worst time of my life... I promised myself I would never do that again!
my situation with grand mal seizures was different, but I eventually just decided to stop taking antiseizure medication after years of being on it, and hell, I've been two years seizure free since I stopped taking the meds, funny how that happens. Doctors don't know everything just because they're doctors. Life lesson I had to learn. Cheers, stay safe, Hails! \m/
That being said, the human brain is very complicated and everyone has different brain wirings and we're all obviously wired differently in regards to our neurons, I'm not giving medical advice. What works for some people , might not work for others.
Oh my gosh thats terrible I cant relate to the seizure or medication but I almost became homeless and had no job at one point it was fucking awful on top of dealing with some sort of anxiety/panic attack disorder which I am still dealing with but im alot better off now than I was ..... Thank God I have a job now and am in a lot better standing than I was I wish you well Count your vids really helped cheer me up when I was down and introduced me to alot of bands I now love....As for jobs I would look into temporary job agencies or work from home jobs hope this helps Count take care of yourself....
I'm so sorry to hear that, but I'm genuinely happy to hear you're getting better!
As for the job thing, there's quite a bit that goes with that. I'm currently 33. I didn't have a full time job until I was 27. Then at 32, all of this happened, and now I have another gap on my resume. People around here see that and won't even give me the courtesy of a phone call, even though I was praised highly at every other job I had.
@CountBlagorath Dont give up man I had alot of Jobs turn me down and ended up finding one that exepted me I would even try Day labor.....
I hope you have more stories to tell, count.
Same here bro i had a seizure due to my tbi and it aint fun. Now im on 2 serious 💊💊💊. I would love to join to the military, but idk if i can now even w/o gonna though a act of congress.
Was on that for all of middle school and most of high school until I decided to just stop taking it and it was a nightmare. I’ve been off it for well over 10 years and I still struggle with the emotionless personality and all that, I try to explain to people but most just don’t understand. To them I just don’t care about anything. Lost many friendships and it makes dating difficult. I think it cause permanent damage or something to my brain and it sucks yo
Hey dude, I’m a physician. First off, I’m sorry this has happened to you, abilify is an outdated med to start for depression because you are right it’s an antipsychotic first and foremost. I think meds should be a last resort, and recommend patients see a therapist and work on other life aspects (sleep, diet, exercise, hobbies, getting the hell away from shitty people or shitty jobs) first. If that doesn’t work, then going to a medication in the class of SSRI/SNRI but at a sub therapeutic dose just to get the body used to it and to see how the patient reacts. Everyone reacts differently, but I’ve had great success with my patients this way. I don’t go for antipsychotics unless, well, you’re psychotic, but even then I’m not thrilled about it. Abilify has the lowest seizure risk of all antipsychotics, little medication interactions, and little weight gain, so that’s why outdated doctors might grab it, but it isn’t ideal for the side effects you described. With all that said, it is concerning that you’ve lost all that weight without really trying. I worry that something else is potentially going on, something like a thyroid issue or cancer or your adrenal glands could cause weight loss and seizure-like episodes too. So, if that hasn’t been worked up, I really suggest it. Keep up the good fight, friend.
If I'm able to get insurance again, I'm gonna look into it. As it looks now, I probably won't be able to, so not sure what to do from there.
@ apply for Medicaid if able, and/or look up to see if a big medical institution with a medical school near you has free clinics (they typically do)
@benng4376 I mean, it's nothing that other people haven't mentioned in passing. Didn't really phase me at all.
@CountBlagorath Fair enough. It would have triggered my symptom Googling ass.
Nah man, never take SSRI's
I'm taking antidepresants and pills Against Anxiety...i got better....but sometimes i still feel like there is a second brain thinking for me... And than panic attack ..
I genuinely hope they're helping and not just leaving you comfortable with dark thoughts. Anxiety is awful. I get it so bad sometimes, I'll feel freezing cold and shiver. Taking some slow deep breaths with my eyes closed can help with that from time to time.
Easily the best Metal channel on RUclips. You've got me into many great bands over the years. Always loved your thoughtful but no BS attitude. Stay strong, things will get better
I am so sorry man. That whole situation is so horrible especially when you were already grieving. If you decide to accept donations I would give and I'm sure a bunch of your viewers would as well. Hang in there man. You're a good human. The way you cared for you Mom is so heartwarming. So sorry for your loss. Without a doubt she would be so proud of you ❤🩹
Thank you so much. That genuinely means more to me than you'll ever know. I added a link in the description.