Exact same here. My peace of mind is everything today. I had to remove my parents and 3 siblings from my life that have always been toxic for me. It feels incredible to be free!
I'm 54 and my ex is 40 with two kids...divorced...I had no idea what a narcissist was...I really thought it was just celebrities....she is a covert narcissist and evil to the core...phyisically, financially, and emotionally abusive....3.5 years of hell
I found this ~2 months ago in my 40s. Strange thing is that until then I thought a lot of experiences in my life were normal and I am not as good as average. Now I know it was everything but normal and I am good enough to be at least as good as I am relatively to these conditions I was raised in. This video offers way how to fix Narcissist. I don't want to advice anything to anybody, but I am not going this way. I am about to heal myself and let the Narcissist to deal with it how they want. I don't care anymore..
my patience and empathy ran out when I realised it was all about them ALL the time with the constant drama and the poor me arc. Also nothing was ever their fault they are the victim or hero in their stories and never take the accountability. Once you know what you are up against remember nothing you do will ever be enough,they'll take everything from you and blame you for it. Run as fast as you can and never give them anymore of your time and energy. It's a losing battle
It’s such a waste of time and energy to deal with them. Which is their goal. they want to exhaust you so you give up and accept them as your superior, rule setter, or even owner.
Couldn't have said it better myself. I just ended a 9 year "relationship " with a narc..it's been a week. Haven't heard from him once. I'm completely floored. However, most narcs have someone on the side at all times. So, I'm assuming he's preoccupied with her. Which I welcome. Hope he has moved on already. Makes it that much easier for me!
Our current societal predicament makes it so. If we healed collectively as a society, I believe some narcissists would actually be capable of healing too. As of now, our society promotes and rewards narcissistic traits.
Don't be so Catholic. Many Great Sinners, @@samvega6268, are FAR, FAR Beyond Redemption. You waste your Life trying. You will fail. The imagination is boggled at how Crazed and Evil they actually are. It is conceptually difficult to comprehend the distances they have traveled to lose their Human Nature entirely. All you are seeing is their amazing Acting skills.
Narcissists are simply people who haven't emotionally matured, and this afects their whole life in a negative way more than you'd think. There's no need to mystify something so simple, they are basically toddlers trapped in adult bodies. We always talk about intelligence, but emotional intelligence is even more important to live your life to the fullest. Without it you're just an empty shell. Compassion is the most important feature of humanity, without it you're like a walking corpse, and they see it as a weakness to be exploited, irony completely lost on these people. You're wrong about "self love", narcissists don't have self-love but deep self-loathing, the only thing they love is the reflection of their self percieved image projected from others onto them, because they have such deeply ingrained self loathing and lack any sense of self worth. For one to be able to truly love others, one first must be able to love oneself, a thing which is utterly impossible for narcissists. Their hatred for others stems from externalizing their self hatred, it's a defective coping mechanism because it's so difficult to bare the emotional burden so they project it onto others.
totally agree with you but one thing narcissism exists on a spectrum, some may display mild traits, while others may fall into more extreme patterns as you discribed
It's nice for once to see someone else who understands this. Behind the mask, they also feel unlovable, worthless, and quite literally dead inside, because they cut themselves off from their inner child. They actually hate their inner child and see them as weak, due to the trauma they suffered. They find human relationships confusing and feel like a mess inside. Yet, they show none of this, because they've been conditioned to repress their wants, needs, feelings, and pain. I've seen the Pinterest board of the person w/NPD in my life (he doesn't know) and it's quite literally one of the saddest things I've seen.
Thanks for making the video, but I agree that it mischaracterizes the underlying cause. They feel so deeply unworthy that they replace their organic personality with a PO persona to hide their self-loathing. The video suggests the opposite, which is incorrect. And I believe it is misguided to provide advice on how to attempt to help a narcissist. Anybody watching this video is a victim in part because of a beautiful instinct to help others. If they follow your guidance, they will only suffer longer. Do not engage. Get away. If you can't help but to want to help and love them despite being abused by them then 1) unless you *know* you are close to fully enlightened, you yourself are the solution; you don't truly love yourself yet...so forget about the narcissist and find yourself 2) get to a safe distance with guardrails to prevent you from getting sucked back into the gravity of their manipulations, and then use every tool in your toolbox, knowing you will almost certainly fail Iow, just don't. Let them figure it out. They can't be helped if they don't want to be, and only they can get that ball rolling. Letting them suffer is likely the best chance for healing if they successfully hit rock bottom.
@ a normal dr doesn’t know that! A psychologist might find it out in several sessions. You should observe the behavior of the questioned person in certain situations and lay your „matrix of knowledge“ about narcissistic behavior over it. The better it fits… the more the person is a narcissist
You may love someone with the actual personality disorder, you may want to continue to feel compassion for them. That's lovely and completely fine as long as you stay NO-CONTACT!
It is annoying when narcissists are described as toddlers in an adult's body. Unfortunately the "adult body" has the political, financial and physical power to destroy you. Do not visualize a toddler. Visualize a terminator who delights in chaos and control and hurting others.
Emotionally they are toddlers, but yes, as you say, with adult intellect, adult desires. The only thing that hasn't evolved is the emotional maturity. Hence the lack of empathy and compassion for others
I've come to the conclusion that anyone that actively plans harm to another, knows they are doing it and enacts it and then enjoys the result , is simply an evil entity.
@kathyhansen2820 is it evil though? Or just immature? Have you never done something intentionally to piss someone off? Like a sibling or friend? If you were hurt by them? Intentionally tell a lie to make them look bad? As an adult then felt bad about it because you've matured and realised it was morally wrong? People with narcissism don't develop that far...
No, no help. You will fail and you will regret it. It is not always easy to see they are toxic and when you do, it is too late. It is not a cry for help, it is a trap!
I hear you. I would weigh in and say from experience that it is both a cry for help and a toxic trap. If they've target you, it's too late. You need to stay away from them to protect yourself from their pathology. But if they haven't personally targeted you, there is the possibility that you can be encouraging but I agree that there is no guarantee that they will receive your grace as intended. If their pathological state is severe, they will manipulate without fail. But I think having both perspectives is important. This video was healing in that we can still have compassion for these types of personalities while still protecting ourselves. I hear you though. Trust me. I've been heavily targeted by a handful of narcissists in my life and it is a living hell of an experience. You deserve to protect yourself and by no means should feel any guilt for protecting your own safety and sanity.
Yes! I agree with you 100%. The majority of people I come across are COLD as ice. Whenever I do run into a kind, helpful person, it's always a pleasant surprise to me these days.@@EstelaAfonso-ws9vd
Having lived with one since childhood, I can tell something about their personality overall: 1) Everything good is our doing, everything bad is your doing 2) We are the real victims and so whatever we do is completely justified even if it's harmful to your life 3) We are a higher race of human beings and everyone else is a lowly creature
Yes. I also grew up with a narcissistic parent. Her meltdowns had a familiar structure that I later called "The Three Act Play": (1) I know everything. (2) You know nothing. (3) Here are the ways that you are a terrible person...(goes on to list anything you confided in them or they have to fling at you however unrelated). Communicating with them on anything but the most superficial level is foolhardy.
That's how my narcissistic mother thinks of me and the rest of my family. She believes herself to be superior and that we can't manage without her. She doesn't care how many lives she destroys as long if everything is only to her linking. She refuses to accept truth and reality. She's a arrogant selfish coward tyrant that refuses to heal herself.
healing is a weird word I mean I’m thinking of that about that for MYSELF in regards to this .. I don’t proclaim to know - though I’m not ignoring. Awareness is the first thing for me that comes up n then i picture the ‘situation w these people .. then back to aisle 5 in the grocery store.. ‘THEY have to have the awareness. Need anything while I’m at the store ?
@@freedomofspeech6095 imagine if we all just got over the divide and realised each human has their own faults and flaws and we’re perpetuating that divide through labelling and not seeing people for where they’re at. Healing hurts, cutting out the old and making a new one, everyone can do it, we’re all meant to be doing it every day
I've come to realize that NPD can be summed up as an addiction. Just as a drug addict may become manipulative and lack empathy to score the next hit. The narcissist is addict to control. But nothing gives the feeling of control more than controlling the emotions of others.
Demonizing people for experienceing childhood trauma severe enough to damage them emotionally is not "advice". You're only reinforcing the shame and feelings of inadequacy that literally created the issue in the first place.
@@CGPOPPOOP if you were traumatized as a child so you developed personality disorders or traits thereof does not give you justification to emotionally abuse others. Period. The unjust emotional abuse dished out by Borderline and narcissistic people needs to be called out regardless if these people were victims as children or not. Two wrongs don't make it right and by claiming that it is wrong of a victim of emotional abuse to call it out just because the abuser were abused you are engaging in victim blaming, which is also abuse.
I lived with one for years. They are exactly like Jung describes them. They are afraid of life and become bullies, get revenge on anyone who doesn't bow down to them and worship them, and lie about those they hate. Whatever they themselves are doing they blame others and project their evil behaviors onto that other person. They gather people to them who will do what they say and think what they think.
I agree. They are lost cases. A Norwegian king once said that we can survive and live a pleasant life if we stop wasting time and money on lost cases. This what's happening to the world nowadays. Like Gustave Le Bon once said: "The masses are thirsty for lies and illusions."
because they're "too young" to understand it in the first place, they're like you're trying to explain a toddler he has to get off titties. You can help them by being ruthless and traumatize beyond the pain of comfort, so they have no choice but to grow up.
Really all personality disorders are formed in childhood as a survival strategy, it's the only thing they know when they grow into adulthood, but they can and should learn to change for the sake of others and themselves.
If anyone is more interested in this, there is a podcast called Martyrmade where the host Darryl Cooper does an episode called “The Underground Spirit.” It’s about Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s life and works and how they affected the life of Friedrich Nietzsche, who was a narcissist. It is very deep and requires immense focus to listen to but if you make it to the end, you’ll realize it’s truly a marvelous work that will transcend your understanding of man
@matthewbadger8685 Everyone is hurting by life events and people. It is an individual decision how you react to it. Narcissists choose again and again to hurt others just because they are hurt. Don't pity the theme. They have free will as everyone
Narcissists are less, empty, a book cover, where others are a full book. They look like human beings but there are bits missing, they didn’t develop. As someone else on here said, they are toddlers in adult bodies, and if things don’t go their way they have their toddler tantrum.
NPD cannot be cured. If you haven't already learned that you should only be compassionate towards them from a safe distance then they will teach you - if you'll survive the relationship.
I stayed quiet until he wanted my whole family property written in my name! When I applied for divorce he sent me a lawyers notice 'to come to his place immediately to delivery my duty as his wife within 15 days or else the consequences would be very harsh' can you imagine? I have never known such a law notice be sent to anyone on earth at all!!?! He thought I was a piece of furniture that he has bought it for a price!
NPD can be managed and treated with the right psychotherapy. I am a mental health/substance abuse psychotherapist, and while it is EXTREMELY rare that anyone struggling with NPD will ever seek help or acknowledge they need help, but IF they are willing to take a therapeutic look at their insecurities. NPD are filled with insecurities that they are fearful to be vulnerable and expose.
Watching this, I feel really bad for my sister. The core problem is that they have low insight. So they cant see the deeper truth and cant tolerant the pain. I witnesss the emerging of her false self over years, less and less surface insecurity when the pain and the worthlessness get stronger. It is sad. Our parent are emotionally immature, we both suffer. But i am more sensitive and instropective. And i was push to face my pains so i can accept my darkness and done a lot shadow work. I no longer need a fase self to protect my self-esteem.
It's only a very select few who are unfortunate enough to be exposed to their dark side. And once they've lost control and shown their true selves to you, they hate you and fear you for knowing who they really are. And they will try to destroy you.
You must first love yourself. Only then will you have the clarity and strength to enforce the proper measures. Also remember that NPD is the darkest point of a scale. The closer this point, the more you must disengage. Only God can perform miracles. ✨
I've been no contact for 6 going on 7 years now. It's one of the best things i ever done for myself. They are really sick beings and only god can help them.
Self acceptance, acknowledging your faults, limitations, opening your heart and mind to accept help. This should keep you from being “narcissistic”. Instead of judging narcissists we should be teaching “how does one become humble”? Or “What is true humility?” And how do we practice true humility in accepting our faults and limitations for inward growth? I think there should be emphasis or classes in where humility and modesty are taught. This alone would go against narcissism
THANK YOU ❤❤ for your loving approach. Only love can heal. Separation and condemnation never do. Every soul deserves a chance. Narcissists are little lost children hidden in a dark and cold inner place. These children deserve empathy. Thank you for your holy, living, loving words.
I barely survived a 25-year entanglement with one. I now know that they are broken beyond repair. The evidence shows they are born that way. Take pity but do it from a safe distance.
I tend to agree. There is nothing human about them. No love, empathy, nothing is normal. They can't self- reflect, they are empty shells, so they don't even know their real self. I sometimes wonder if they even have a soul.
This video is a feast for the eyes - thank you for weaving the art to illuminate narcissism so creatively! These should have maybe had some footnotes - i would have enjoyed knowing who’s art i was looking at! But thanks all the same. Narcissists often have narc parents….
I’m just going to reiterate what some wiser and experienced people have already commented - that trying to change, show empathy, or encourage a narcissist is a waste of your time and borders on insanity. Let the chips fall where they may and walk away. Their fate is sealed. Do not believe the lie that we were told as children. Namely, that everyone can change. Everyone but narcissists. The sooner you learn this, the sooner you will liberate yourself from an impossible situation.
I'd say that he may have had a lot of these narcissistic traits himself. But he was probably acutely aware. As the first quote said. By knowing yourself you can know others.
To truly love ourselves, we must accept ourselves in our entirety, embracing both the traits we find socially and personally desirable, as well as those we struggle to accept. This can be challenging to achieve. During middle age, we might hope to reach a level of integration since about that time we have learnt something precious from our experience in this world. However, for narcissists, they only accept their persona and fall in love with it, not with their true selves. It seems difficult to transition them from persona-love to real, whole, and integrated self-love.
Apparently recent research states that narcissism doesn't exist on a spectrum as first thought. It is now a case of you being a narcissist or not. Good video.
What research is this. I work in mental health and would like to get more information on this. As far as I understand, all humans have a level of narcissism, and a reasonable level of narcissism is considered healthy.
I really enjoyed this film. Its the first time I have heard anyone explain the link between Jung's idea of The Shadow and Narcissism . Shadow Denial . Makes complete sense. It is also a visual treat, I wanted to know the names of these works of art. It is compassionate and avoids portraying narcissists as devilish. Our own narcissism is engaged by a genuine narcissist , both in the love bombing phase and in the later phase of resentment and rage that we feel at their abuse.
This video makes a good exception, because too many psychologists say that narcissists are a problem to be aware of, and PERIOD. 6:52 - Very important : We can try to help a narcissist change for the better, with patience and empathy ... In contrast to what other psychologists explain, this video reveals that Jung showed how a narcissist can heal, if we find the right approach and want to help him/her. 1. Lower their defenses by showing genuine understanding. 2. Acknowledge their strengths and frame criticism as an opportunity for growth. 3. Thus, you create a space where they might feel safe enough to reflect. 4. This approach doesn't guarantee change, but it plants a seed. 5. Encourage them to explore creative outlets. This can help them access parts of themselves they've long suppressed. 6. But keep setting boundaries to the narcissist, to protect yourself, and if he is resistant to change, step back. 7. Subconsciously, for the narcissist, it's a cry for help from the Self.
NPD is a protective mechanism created in the brain by two things. A genetic predisposition along with a lack of a controlled environment. To use an example my brother and I were raised by a narcissist mother which created the lack of controlled environment, my brother is a narcissist yet I am not. I was the scapegoat and have struggled with codependency. It is not a failure of looking at one’s shadow the narcissism will not allow it. It can only be done if you posses empathy. Without empathy you have an inability to self reflect which narcissists experience. Narcissists do not experience guilt either, again you must be capable of self reflection to feel guilt. It goes further most narcissists(not all) are unaware of their narcissism which the brain controls at a subconscious level. It protects them from experiencing reality. Based on the hyper sensitivity of control. They do not experience low self image, again the narcissism protects them from that. You will not realize that you threaten the control of a narcissist multiple times in any interaction. Based on their cognitive function and level of maintaining their facade and controlling their ignited fury you would not pick up on it. There is a huge amount of miss information out there. Some information can be dangerous be careful who you learn from.
I think the trouble with the term narcissism is that we think it concerns only a few other people. However, 99% of all people live driven by their unconscious. It's not just some weirdos. That's the tragedy. The counterparts of so called narcissists, who want to help and be loved and let themselves be abused are equally acting unconsciously. So you better start with yourself before you try to heal others.
We can worn them we can show them we can even get Comprehensive about the dynamics but humans don’t work that I tried it. It will always be rejected and no those that cross over are the outcast we always were. But at least now I have the knowledge and Confidence that I am the happy one and they are quite sad inside… Love from a distance it is ❤ survivor of Narc Family and My last Gf who was a malignant NPD but ultimately opened my eyes to Narc society so instead I’m just grateful I know the game but don’t play just protect myself
Totally agree. We are all at some degrees, narcissist. Its the fallen nature of humanity, our ego blind us all. Only God can save and cure us from that
To a certain point. Honestly alot of victims were trained to be as such in childhood. Its understanding that, and undoing the programming that will help them. They don't actually want to be abused. It just that there's something wrong that they can't put their finger on and it hasn't clicked yet.
Thanks for honoring free speech. Talk about narcissism. Carl Yung was a Protestant Christian ... who believed that his soul would be saved for an afterlife of eternal rewards ... while most souls ever created would be lost to an afterlife of eternal torment. There isn't anything so narcissist as religion ... and the believe that one is the center of the whole universe. "Moreover -- if I may put another strain upon you -- he thinks he is the Creator's pet. He believes the Creator is proud of him; he even believes the Creator loves him; has a passion for him; sits up nights to admire him; yes, and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to Him, and thinks He listens. Isn't it a quaint idea?" 'Letters from Earth'- Mark Twain
Yes, I agree..beautifully done and love the art which beautifully illustrates the concept. Social media gives the wrong idea and labels selfish people or independent people as narcissists. In fact narcissists can appear super nice and interesting when you meet them but they are mortally dangerous if they have any kind of power over you or are in a relationship with you. Do not give them any information about you. One way to detect them is that in an argument they will accuse you of the very thing you are not. Example: you don't lie They will say you are a liar. Example: you are generous They will accuse you of being mean. This is projection, they are talking about themselves.
An UNDERESTIMATED outcome. As an avid crime/drama consumer. MANY of those crimes are inflicted by narcissists of various degrees MANY comments point to trump as a MALIGNANT narcissist. All those qualities AND some
“Narcissistic” “Narcissist” “Narcissism” are terms that are misunderstood by most people. People can watch all the narcissism - “expert” videos on youtube they want, but I find that it usually does nothing more than make narcissists think they are the victims, or - make people think everyone they don’t like, is a narcissist. But it is rather complex. Unfortunately, these words have become so overused and misused in our society - devaluing their true meaning. Nowadays - most people just use the words whenever someone does something they don’t like, which in itself - is a display of narcissism. Its more harmful than helpful. This video is more valuable, however.
I totaly agree. I think most people shift their position on the narcissistic scale during their lifetime. I have an ex friend who is terrified of looking inwards. I mean I tried everything I could. She still occupie my mind alot and I still wonder sometimes what can be done to help her suffer less...
This presentation is a facile application of Jung's concepts to a condition which, by definition, is most often intractable to attempts to simply "fix" it. By definition, narcissism is an internal dynamic in which the narcissist CANNOT admit to their conscious self that part of themselves which Jung sees as the shadow. They suffer from the shame of an unreconciled dark part of themselves generating a general sense of insecurity and dissatisfaction which has to be compensated for by overpowering and manipulating others to provide them with a constant supply of validation and approval. The project of "fixing" narcissism with some tenderness and loving appraisal is doomed to failure since that is the very thing that the narcissist must consume, by any means possible, to render themselves 'acceptable' to and live with others. The narcissist cannot even make authentic contact with their dark selves, and any attempt to do so merely provokes a further cycle of shame and projection of their insufficiency onto others, often those close to them, more often hurting them in the process. Presenter, please leave these explanations to those who have thought long and hard about a very difficult issue and have a far better understanding than you seem to have achieved.
Great video about the subject. Thank you! However…I tried the methods what you also listed on the end of the video, trying do be understanding etc to deal with the narcissist and all I got even more ego on his side, even more lies, and even more pain and domination. The best way - if it’s possible by the given circumstances - to leave and protect yourself from this cruel dark “play”!!!! boundaries, boundaries and love yourself enough not to allow this happen with you anymore!🙏
Having gone through Jungian analysis in my youth, an experience that shaped me in a balanced way, I thought I could ‘save’ the narcissist. I tried for four years. But this one did not wish to face one’s shadow, let alone change. The shadow is an overwhelming subject for this person. In the end, for my own balance, I had to open the door and run away. I reclaimed my dignity.
Narcissistic tendencies can be ameliorated over time if willingly and honestly addressed by the person with a lot of help from a trained professional with experience in treating such tendencies. HOWEVER: an actual narcissist--a person with full-blown NPD (of any subtype) is a LOST FUCKING CAUSE!!! RUN, RUN, RUN, AND DON'T LOOK BACK!
Indeed. It's not possible to treat NPD of any type (overt, covert, malignant) to a full recovery. All types of NPDs lack the tools to look within and see themselves realistically (to see their disorder). Their disorder seems as easy-to-treat surface-level content but all their thoughts and actions stem from core content (drives, motivation, aggression). NO CONTACT or avoidance is used to limit the harm that one can face. NPD and psychopathy are incurable. The management of symptoms is done by others by ostracization.
The art you chose is amazing. The one of Trump looking at himself in a broken mirror is especially powerful. Using Jung's archetypes helps explain what I've lived with for most of my life, and it made it easier for me to feel empathy for these people. Bravo!
People think narcissism cant be cured because they don't see the limitations of psychology. Most people dont see reality for what it is so how can they help someone who try to escape it. Great video.
Narcissist is actually not curable. Jung himself states this in a letter he wrote to the founder of AA 2 weeks before he died. The only chance they have is religion or spirituality, and only if, they place that higher power above the image of themselves, and the higher power at the center of their life. Also by psychology terms NPD is a diagnostic term for individuals that have delusional thinking i.e., it is a fixed rigid personality disorder.
Thank you❤ I think about myself and my own narcissistic wounds, when I watch your video. I can recommend Katrin Aspers book about the subject. She has been studying it even more than Jung did. For instance because of the time. Her book is famous and very empathic.
I see bad advice here. Lay people can't help full fledged-NPD sufferers. Narcs won't ever engage with proffesionals that they can't manipulate into their distorted outlook on life and relationships. It's more important to set boundaries than some wooey "compassion", which most probably a malignant narc will see as weakness and exploit thoroughly.
My ex partner and I had therapy. My ex ran rings around the therapist. It took many times to point out to the therapist how my ex was wrapping her around her little finger, with tangible, objective proof. The Therapist was not happy. What shocked me was how easily the therapist believed my ex.
Thinking about the depths of darkness will get you screwed over big time by self-righteous people. They say you are guilty if you think wrong, or stupid for not thinking about the darkness enough. There is no way to avoid their judgement.
My mom was a narcissist. She died last year at 84. Its a progressive disease. She hurt so many people in her life just because of her sick, mean ego. When we were little kids in elementary school she would sucker punch my sister and I. You would be talking about something or answering her and BAM!! She was violent asf. She hated everyone. She deflated my father who didn't want to spend one minute at home. He was drunk when he was home. He traveled for work. I watched as she turned my sister into her emotional babysitter and I am the scapegoat. I ended up in a doctor's office in my 50s wanting to die because of my hatred for her. He educated me for a year and convinced me to walk away from ALL 3 of them. Narcissists do not change, ever! Alzhiemers doesn't even change them.
That’s what I thought ( we’re all wounded ). but I get it .. attachment comes up I don’t know why but that’s what comes up into my head .. I know what I’m tryna say but I don’t know how to say it.
Jung cheated on his wife and expected his wife to just suck it up and be tolerant with him having a mistress he referred to as the fragrance in his home. Well well well
The thing about nature is it always corrects… everything has to be balanced in our universe. Ying/Yang. Black/white. Up/Down. So why don’t people think nature doesn’t have a solution for narcissism… people don’t believe in empaths. And honestly most people who think they are really are probably narcissists.. but just as narcissism is real nature had to create a balance, a cure… if narcissism is the absence of emotions or not able to connect to it then the only plausible solution is one who feels all the emotions even that if others… it’s just we don’t know how to do it yet because we are only just beginning to understand them both but no one knows the full extent of what actually an empath can do yet… everything in our physical world has a spiritual counterpart….
They won't and can't change. It became obvious from a very young age that I was my Narcfather's scapegoat even though I didn't know what narcissism was. Let them rot alone forever.
Not sure it can be done though, it would take a really good professional , disguised maybe as a personal friend.... because if you are really close with them, it will eat you alive before they are cured, because your own feelings will get hurt, lol, and if you are a pro, they will look at you as a crazy person that does not know what he is talking about, and receiving any help is below them, they are perfect so why would they need your help, you are below them.
I had to part ways with a friend who is, in fact, a narcissist that I've known for 20 years. I understood the source as to how he came about his narcissistic behavior. I thought I saw somewhat of a spark within him when he was younger and had hoped to see him shine. For the longest time, I've witnessed his mistreatment of women he's been with and play the role of someone betrayed after they've had their fill of excuses as nothing seriously meant by "just joking" at her expense whenever company of others. Later on, exploit her for her purse and promises to pay it back, and so comes the sworn on only to swear as not having made no such agreement. I wasn't excused from his exploits, just as was married to his sister, who was far better than him when it came to being worse as a narcissist herself. They'll confess this terrible truth of theirs as they'll lie of change to be forgiven opportunity for repeated offense. There were too many trespasses against my awareness holding on for a day in which I've long since reached out with words meant to connect with that spark to no avail, so then I moved on with no bid of fairwell as I were now amongst those who betrayed him
An entire online “industry” has sprung up around narcissism. I’ve visited many sites over many years and the consensus is “fahgetaboutem.” You will never change the narcissist. If you have no choice because they are family members or co-workers, then you must set boundaries. (I know, easier said than done.) But this Jungian approach is, except for, perhaps, a psychotherapist, not something a person who is subject to narcissistic abuse is going to have any success with. It will only lead to more grief. Anyone who thinks they can help a narcissist to become a sensitive, vulnerable, caring person who will reciprocate the love that is shown them will be disappointed. Spare yourself the grief, disappointment, wasted time and, maybe, money. I do believe we are going through a New Age of Narcissism. So be aware and beware.
Yeah the word narcissism is used a lot because it was long needed. Too many people are victims of narcissistic behavior and we need to do something about it.
It’s like these type of people live on an island full of quick sand , and they need you to bring them supplies ,only to find out that every time you go there you sink,get stuck in the mud and leave feeling sick 🤢. Don’t expect them to leave this island to connect deeper with you or your family because they aren’t capable of leaving this island 🏝️…..
Some people are scarred by narcissistic abuse. Others have been psychologically maimed by it. Just be thankful that you don’t understand what these others are talking about.
@@SuperBoomslang Well… this is a good place to listen and learn about the long-term effects of abuse. Now, if you wanted to learn how to read people, the same as learning to recognize benign and poisonous mushrooms or snakes out in the wild, you would start by studying the characteristics. Personally, I haven’t been bitten by every rattlesnake I’ve encountered. But I thank the people who taught me to recognize and avoid them!
This is poor advice for extremely sensitive people. Sensitive people will believe they can, "fix them". Unfortunately there is no fix for them. Accept it and for everyones sanity please let them go. Let me repeat it for everyone in the back, THERE IS NO FIX FOR THESE BEINGS, ACCEPT IT AND LET THEM GO.
Pevrt narcissists aren't victims. They chose to be horrible personne, because they like the sensations to dupe you and others. They feel above you no matter how intelligent, rich, or successful you are, if you fall for their tricks, you are less good than them.
Im so sorry for the trauma my ex endured. It's just not my fault and I'm not going to stand there and be the emotional validation supply that they lack. They have to find their own way forward. I moved on.
Some experts believe narcissism is at the core of all mental illness. It’s like ice cream. Everything starts with narcissism and then there are just a lot of different flavors and deliveries and spectrums.
@@thedust850 I can't take credit. From my research its a combination of genetics and early childhood trauma. Essentially the normal maturation process is stunted/paralyzed due to the trauma. No authentic self is allowed to unfold and the person becomes externally and other oriented. This leads to a myriad of coping mechanisms to protect the inauthentic self. Thats the nature of all the different flavors and intensities of narcissism. Borderline for example is narcissism with its own set of unique coping mechanisms and symptoms. Yes, the ability to reflect and process is crippled.
I was raised by one. Didn’t know til I was in my 50s. The sooner you learn, the better.
Same here, exactly the same 🥴 Leather Skin 💪🏽😑
Was married to one for years...sheesh, what a trip. Then become baby momma...yikes
Exact same here. My peace of mind is everything today. I had to remove my parents and 3 siblings from my life that have always been toxic for me. It feels incredible to be free!
I'm 54 and my ex is 40 with two kids...divorced...I had no idea what a narcissist was...I really thought it was just celebrities....she is a covert narcissist and evil to the core...phyisically, financially, and emotionally abusive....3.5 years of hell
I found this ~2 months ago in my 40s.
Strange thing is that until then I thought a lot of experiences in my life were normal and I am not as good as average.
Now I know it was everything but normal and I am good enough to be at least as good as I am relatively to these conditions I was raised in.
This video offers way how to fix Narcissist. I don't want to advice anything to anybody, but I am not going this way. I am about to heal myself and let the Narcissist to deal with it how they want. I don't care anymore..
The damage narcissists do to other shouldn't be ignored.
Who’s ignoring it ? Go for it ! Have yaself A FIELD DAY ! Bring a picnic basket!
Run. No contact is the best defense.
my patience and empathy ran out when I realised it was all about them ALL the time with the constant drama and the poor me arc. Also nothing was ever their fault they are the victim or hero in their stories and never take the accountability. Once you know what you are up against remember nothing you do will ever be enough,they'll take everything from you and blame you for it. Run as fast as you can and never give them anymore of your time and energy. It's a losing battle
You've really summed up my experience. ''a losing battle'' and the relationship does feel its like they're playing to win, nothing else.
It’s such a waste of time and energy to deal with them. Which is their goal. they want to exhaust you so you give up and accept them as your superior, rule setter, or even owner.
Couldn't have said it better myself. I just ended a 9 year "relationship " with a narc..it's been a week. Haven't heard from him once. I'm completely floored. However, most narcs have someone on the side at all times. So, I'm assuming he's preoccupied with her. Which I welcome.
Hope he has moved on already. Makes it that much easier for me!
Not always possible to run…..what of it’s an elderly parent?
@@henrikskerby1762 you do what you have to do. Sometimes you have to turn your back on family no matter what age they are. Toxic will always be toxic
Anyone who thinks narcissists can be helped doesn't understand narcissism.
Our current societal predicament makes it so. If we healed collectively as a society, I believe some narcissists would actually be capable of healing too. As of now, our society promotes and rewards narcissistic traits.
@@samvega6268 That's true.
@@samvega6268you’re deluded 🙅🏼♀️
@@heatherhall3452I'll say
Don't be so Catholic. Many Great Sinners, @@samvega6268, are FAR, FAR Beyond Redemption. You waste your Life trying. You will fail.
The imagination is boggled at how Crazed and Evil they actually are. It is conceptually difficult to comprehend the distances they have traveled to lose their Human Nature entirely. All you are seeing is their amazing Acting skills.
Narcissists are simply people who haven't emotionally matured, and this afects their whole life in a negative way more than you'd think. There's no need to mystify something so simple, they are basically toddlers trapped in adult bodies. We always talk about intelligence, but emotional intelligence is even more important to live your life to the fullest. Without it you're just an empty shell. Compassion is the most important feature of humanity, without it you're like a walking corpse, and they see it as a weakness to be exploited, irony completely lost on these people. You're wrong about "self love", narcissists don't have self-love but deep self-loathing, the only thing they love is the reflection of their self percieved image projected from others onto them, because they have such deeply ingrained self loathing and lack any sense of self worth. For one to be able to truly love others, one first must be able to love oneself, a thing which is utterly impossible for narcissists. Their hatred for others stems from externalizing their self hatred, it's a defective coping mechanism because it's so difficult to bare the emotional burden so they project it onto others.
totally agree with you but one thing narcissism exists on a spectrum, some may display mild traits, while others may fall into more extreme patterns as you discribed
It's nice for once to see someone else who understands this. Behind the mask, they also feel unlovable, worthless, and quite literally dead inside, because they cut themselves off from their inner child. They actually hate their inner child and see them as weak, due to the trauma they suffered. They find human relationships confusing and feel like a mess inside. Yet, they show none of this, because they've been conditioned to repress their wants, needs, feelings, and pain. I've seen the Pinterest board of the person w/NPD in my life (he doesn't know) and it's quite literally one of the saddest things I've seen.
Thanks for making the video, but I agree that it mischaracterizes the underlying cause. They feel so deeply unworthy that they replace their organic personality with a PO persona to hide their self-loathing.
The video suggests the opposite, which is incorrect. And I believe it is misguided to provide advice on how to attempt to help a narcissist.
Anybody watching this video is a victim in part because of a beautiful instinct to help others. If they follow your guidance, they will only suffer longer.
Do not engage. Get away. If you can't help but to want to help and love them despite being abused by them then
1) unless you *know* you are close to fully enlightened, you yourself are the solution; you don't truly love yourself yet...so forget about the narcissist and find yourself
2) get to a safe distance with guardrails to prevent you from getting sucked back into the gravity of their manipulations, and then use every tool in your toolbox, knowing you will almost certainly fail
Iow, just don't. Let them figure it out. They can't be helped if they don't want to be, and only they can get that ball rolling.
Letting them suffer is likely the best chance for healing if they successfully hit rock bottom.
@@JulesB93💯
You nailed it! 🎯
Never „help“ a narcissist! It’s never honored and don’t expect gratefulness. Treat them with your indifference towards them.
Ek betaal jou om die narcissists dood te maak in my lewe.❤
Ok numb nuts
How woukd you k ow if someone's a narcisist unless your a dr
@@TheThetruthmaster1 when they treat God less than someone else than they are a narcissist.
@ a normal dr doesn’t know that! A psychologist might find it out in several sessions.
You should observe the behavior of the questioned person in certain situations and lay your „matrix of knowledge“ about narcissistic behavior over it. The better it fits… the more the person is a narcissist
You may love someone with the actual personality disorder, you may want to continue to feel compassion for them. That's lovely and completely fine as long as you stay NO-CONTACT!
Run, don't try to help a narcissist person! Don't try to fix them, run!
🙏🌸❤️
Exactly ❤
You can say that again.
And if it is a member of your family, you run ?
@@tpmyoutube702Run and save yourself!
It is annoying when narcissists are described as toddlers in an adult's body. Unfortunately the "adult body" has the political, financial and physical power to destroy you. Do not visualize a toddler. Visualize a terminator who delights in chaos and control and hurting others.
Good point!
Emotionally they are toddlers, but yes, as you say, with adult intellect, adult desires. The only thing that hasn't evolved is the emotional maturity. Hence the lack of empathy and compassion for others
100% sadist demonic evil
I've come to the conclusion that anyone that actively plans harm to another, knows they are doing it and enacts it and then enjoys the result , is simply an evil entity.
@kathyhansen2820 is it evil though? Or just immature? Have you never done something intentionally to piss someone off? Like a sibling or friend? If you were hurt by them? Intentionally tell a lie to make them look bad? As an adult then felt bad about it because you've matured and realised it was morally wrong? People with narcissism don't develop that far...
Any kindness shown to a narcissist is taken by them as weakness. You are only prey to them. Run like hell.
You are only something to be used.
No, no help. You will fail and you will regret it. It is not always easy to see they are toxic and when you do, it is too late. It is not a cry for help, it is a trap!
I hear you. I would weigh in and say from experience that it is both a cry for help and a toxic trap. If they've target you, it's too late. You need to stay away from them to protect yourself from their pathology. But if they haven't personally targeted you, there is the possibility that you can be encouraging but I agree that there is no guarantee that they will receive your grace as intended. If their pathological state is severe, they will manipulate without fail. But I think having both perspectives is important. This video was healing in that we can still have compassion for these types of personalities while still protecting ourselves. I hear you though. Trust me. I've been heavily targeted by a handful of narcissists in my life and it is a living hell of an experience. You deserve to protect yourself and by no means should feel any guilt for protecting your own safety and sanity.
Yes.. sitting behind the trap they are crying for help... but we know it now🙂😎
Too late for what?
@@justinhartnell6779 It depends.
NPD needs to be taught about in schools these days, so that young people can save themselves from dealing with narcissists.
That and empathy. Empathy avoids bringing more narcissists into the world. I feel they already are the majority.
Yes! I agree with you 100%. The majority of people I come across are COLD as ice. Whenever I do run into a kind, helpful person, it's always a pleasant surprise to me these days.@@EstelaAfonso-ws9vd
Schools are run by narcissists
Won’t work because the teachers are narcissists
Having lived with one since childhood, I can tell something about their personality overall:
1) Everything good is our doing, everything bad is your doing
2) We are the real victims and so whatever we do is completely justified even if it's harmful to your life
3) We are a higher race of human beings and everyone else is a lowly creature
these are shocking red flags
Yes. I also grew up with a narcissistic parent. Her meltdowns had a familiar structure that I later called "The Three Act Play": (1) I know everything. (2) You know nothing. (3) Here are the ways that you are a terrible person...(goes on to list anything you confided in them or they have to fling at you however unrelated). Communicating with them on anything but the most superficial level is foolhardy.
That's how my narcissistic mother thinks of me and the rest of my family. She believes herself to be superior and that we can't manage without her. She doesn't care how many lives she destroys as long if everything is only to her linking. She refuses to accept truth and reality. She's a arrogant selfish coward tyrant that refuses to heal herself.
Did you know my dad?
They are evil, period. Get as far away from them as humanly possible.
These narc can’t be healed. Keep your distance
Anyone can heal, this is part of the problem and what perpetuates the divide
@@davesalad1974 I agree. Understanding, a safe environment to lower their defense and make place for self-reflection, sais the narrator here.
but i cured my own narcissism though ( because i'm just that good 😎)
healing is a weird word I mean I’m thinking of that about that for MYSELF in regards to this .. I don’t proclaim to know - though I’m not ignoring. Awareness is the first thing for me that comes up n then i picture the ‘situation w these people .. then back to aisle 5 in the grocery store.. ‘THEY have to have the awareness. Need anything while I’m at the store ?
@@freedomofspeech6095 imagine if we all just got over the divide and realised each human has their own faults and flaws and we’re perpetuating that divide through labelling and not seeing people for where they’re at.
Healing hurts, cutting out the old and making a new one, everyone can do it, we’re all meant to be doing it every day
I've come to realize that NPD can be summed up as an addiction. Just as a drug addict may become manipulative and lack empathy to score the next hit. The narcissist is addict to control. But nothing gives the feeling of control more than controlling the emotions of others.
Projection is the big one that is never talked about.
They project false narratives onto other people to make them look like what they arent and to elevate themselves
Run, run, and run is the advice ❤
Very good video.
❤️❤️❤️🍏🍏🍏
Exactly
Yes, but run quietly
Demonizing people for experienceing childhood trauma severe enough to damage them emotionally is not "advice". You're only reinforcing the shame and feelings of inadequacy that literally created the issue in the first place.
@@CGPOPPOOP if you were traumatized as a child so you developed personality disorders or traits thereof does not give you justification to emotionally abuse others. Period.
The unjust emotional abuse dished out by Borderline and narcissistic people needs to be called out regardless if these people were victims as children or not.
Two wrongs don't make it right and by claiming that it is wrong of a victim of emotional abuse to call it out just because the abuser were abused you are engaging in victim blaming, which is also abuse.
I lived with one for years. They are exactly like Jung describes them. They are afraid of life and become bullies, get revenge on anyone who doesn't bow down to them and worship them, and lie about those they hate. Whatever they themselves are doing they blame others and project their evil behaviors onto that other person. They gather people to them who will do what they say and think what they think.
Narcissists can’t be helped
I agree. They are lost cases. A Norwegian king once said that we can survive and live a pleasant life if we stop wasting time and money on lost cases. This what's happening to the world nowadays. Like Gustave Le Bon once said: "The masses are thirsty for lies and illusions."
It is a spectrum. Some can be helped, some cannot. It all depends how open they are and how soon they get help.
NOT by laypeople. This is the domain of a professional healer. 💡
because they're "too young" to understand it in the first place, they're like you're trying to explain a toddler he has to get off titties.
You can help them by being ruthless and traumatize beyond the pain of comfort, so they have no choice but to grow up.
@dollie I think NPD has a possible genetic component also, not just exposure
In my experience, narcissism is a survival personality.
Really all personality disorders are formed in childhood as a survival strategy, it's the only thing they know when they grow into adulthood, but they can and should learn to change for the sake of others and themselves.
The narcissist isn't wrong, the world is. Just ask one.
If anyone is more interested in this, there is a podcast called Martyrmade where the host Darryl Cooper does an episode called “The Underground Spirit.” It’s about Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s life and works and how they affected the life of Friedrich Nietzsche, who was a narcissist. It is very deep and requires immense focus to listen to but if you make it to the end, you’ll realize it’s truly a marvelous work that will transcend your understanding of man
Compassion only from far !
of course
How far are we talking about? Will Jupiter do?
@@fihtah8243the ninth planet. And I am not talking about Pluto.
@@fihtah8243 😄
Unfortunately it is very hard to feel compation to someone who despises us.
but not impossible
@matthewbadger8685 Everyone is hurting by life events and people. It is an individual decision how you react to it. Narcissists choose again and again to hurt others just because they are hurt. Don't pity the theme. They have free will as everyone
Narcissists are less, empty, a book cover, where others are a full book. They look like human beings but there are bits missing, they didn’t develop. As someone else on here said, they are toddlers in adult bodies, and if things don’t go their way they have their toddler tantrum.
Runs in family's it does. You be dealing with a whole army of them.
Left Christmas dinner yesterday happy I divorced her 25 years ago.
So true. You have the whole family to deal with. The strange thing is that one often escapes the blight
They are legion
@@maidmarion2976I escaped. I also identified the problem and called them out. Then all hell broke loose.
Totally true. They all feed off one another.
NPD cannot be cured. If you haven't already learned that you should only be compassionate towards them from a safe distance then they will teach you - if you'll survive the relationship.
they might even use your empathy to drain you, i understand
It can be treated successfully
@ Where did you get this information from?
I stayed quiet until he wanted my whole family property written in my name! When I applied for divorce he sent me a lawyers notice 'to come to his place immediately to delivery my duty as his wife within 15 days or else the consequences would be very harsh' can you imagine? I have never known such a law notice be sent to anyone on earth at all!!?! He thought I was a piece of furniture that he has bought it for a price!
NPD can be managed and treated with the right psychotherapy. I am a mental health/substance abuse psychotherapist, and while it is EXTREMELY rare that anyone struggling with NPD will ever seek help or acknowledge they need help, but IF they are willing to take a therapeutic look at their insecurities. NPD are filled with insecurities that they are fearful to be vulnerable and expose.
Watching this, I feel really bad for my sister. The core problem is that they have low insight. So they cant see the deeper truth and cant tolerant the pain. I witnesss the emerging of her false self over years, less and less surface insecurity when the pain and the worthlessness get stronger. It is sad. Our parent are emotionally immature, we both suffer. But i am more sensitive and instropective. And i was push to face my pains so i can accept my darkness and done a lot shadow work. I no longer need a fase self to protect my self-esteem.
Too cowardly and weak to take the steps of facing their own problems.
Cowards go to hell. Leave them be, next stage of your life.
It's only a very select few who are unfortunate enough to be exposed to their dark side. And once they've lost control and shown their true selves to you, they hate you and fear you for knowing who they really are. And they will try to destroy you.
True dat
You must first love yourself. Only then will you have the clarity and strength to enforce the proper measures. Also remember that NPD is the darkest point of a scale. The closer this point, the more you must disengage. Only God can perform miracles. ✨
Hallelujah great point.
The npd is too cowardly to face their issues so they make a choice to continue to be fked up
I've been no contact for 6 going on 7 years now. It's one of the best things i ever done for myself. They are really sick beings and only god can help them.
Self acceptance, acknowledging your faults, limitations, opening your heart and mind to accept help. This should keep you from being “narcissistic”. Instead of judging narcissists we should be teaching “how does one become humble”? Or “What is true humility?” And how do we practice true humility in accepting our faults and limitations for inward growth? I think there should be emphasis or classes in where humility and modesty are taught. This alone would go against narcissism
THANK YOU ❤❤ for your loving approach. Only love can heal. Separation and condemnation never do.
Every soul deserves a chance.
Narcissists are little lost children hidden in a dark and cold inner place. These children deserve empathy. Thank you for your holy, living, loving words.
I barely survived a 25-year entanglement with one. I now know that they are broken beyond repair. The evidence shows they are born that way. Take pity but do it from a safe distance.
It's trauma based as well. I do believe some are born that way. They will never know true joy.
I've spent 21 years with one. He did tell me it's too late for him to change.
the malignant covert narcissist cannot be termed "human"
I tend to agree. There is nothing human about them. No love, empathy, nothing is normal. They can't self- reflect, they are empty shells, so they don't even know their real self.
I sometimes wonder if they even have a soul.
The UK has one in power now scary times
This video is a feast for the eyes - thank you for weaving the art to illuminate narcissism so creatively! These should have maybe had some footnotes - i would have enjoyed knowing who’s art i was looking at! But thanks all the same. Narcissists often have narc parents….
I’m just going to reiterate what some wiser and experienced people have already commented - that trying to change, show empathy, or encourage a narcissist is a waste of your time and borders on insanity. Let the chips fall where they may and walk away. Their fate is sealed. Do not believe the lie that we were told as children. Namely, that everyone can change. Everyone but narcissists. The sooner you learn this, the sooner you will liberate yourself from an impossible situation.
Agree. A narcissist will only destroy your empathy and shame you for even trying
Getting to know your own darkness is very deep work and most people would just rather take the easy way to exist here and live from their ego
Jung was so smart while being so healthy mentally. Lovely warm man
I'd say that he may have had a lot of these narcissistic traits himself. But he was probably acutely aware. As the first quote said. By knowing yourself you can know others.
He was no angel when it came to many off his patients, his narcissism flowed very well
@@hugmc I did not know that
To truly love ourselves, we must accept ourselves in our entirety, embracing both the traits we find socially and personally desirable, as well as those we struggle to accept. This can be challenging to achieve. During middle age, we might hope to reach a level of integration since about that time we have learnt something precious from our experience in this world. However, for narcissists, they only accept their persona and fall in love with it, not with their true selves. It seems difficult to transition them from persona-love to real, whole, and integrated self-love.
Wicked Artwork!!!!
My experiences with narcissists: among many other negatives, they are very materialistic.
That was a lot of information and truth provided in under 10 minutes! 👍
Narcissist hate themselves. The inner void and emptiness..
Apparently recent research states that narcissism doesn't exist on a spectrum as first thought. It is now a case of you being a narcissist or not. Good video.
What research is this. I work in mental health and would like to get more information on this. As far as I understand, all humans have a level of narcissism, and a reasonable level of narcissism is considered healthy.
People can have some traits of narcissism, which could make them narcissistic, but doesn't mean they are disordered.
I really enjoyed this film. Its the first time I have heard anyone explain the link between Jung's idea of The Shadow and Narcissism . Shadow Denial . Makes complete sense.
It is also a visual treat, I wanted to know the names of these works of art.
It is compassionate and avoids portraying narcissists as devilish. Our own narcissism is engaged by a genuine narcissist , both in the love bombing phase and in the later phase of resentment and rage that we feel at their abuse.
Healing by no physical or emotional contact
very good presentation, and the artwork is beautifully chosen!
Non judgemental, smooth voice, and well explained, great !
thanks 🙏
This video makes a good exception, because too many psychologists say that narcissists are a problem to be aware of, and PERIOD.
6:52 - Very important : We can try to help a narcissist change for the better, with patience and empathy ... In contrast to what other psychologists explain, this video reveals that Jung showed how a narcissist can heal, if we find the right approach and want to help him/her. 1. Lower their defenses by showing genuine understanding. 2. Acknowledge their strengths and frame criticism as an opportunity for growth. 3. Thus, you create a space where they might feel safe enough to reflect. 4. This approach doesn't guarantee change, but it plants a seed. 5. Encourage them to explore creative outlets. This can help them access parts of themselves they've long suppressed. 6. But keep setting boundaries to the narcissist, to protect yourself, and if he is resistant to change, step back. 7. Subconsciously, for the narcissist, it's a cry for help from the Self.
NPD is a protective mechanism created in the brain by two things. A genetic predisposition along with a lack of a controlled environment. To use an example my brother and I were raised by a narcissist mother which created the lack of controlled environment, my brother is a narcissist yet I am not. I was the scapegoat and have struggled with codependency. It is not a failure of looking at one’s shadow the narcissism will not allow it. It can only be done if you posses empathy. Without empathy you have an inability to self reflect which narcissists experience. Narcissists do not experience guilt either, again you must be capable of self reflection to feel guilt. It goes further most narcissists(not all) are unaware of their narcissism which the brain controls at a subconscious level. It protects them from experiencing reality. Based on the hyper sensitivity of control. They do not experience low self image, again the narcissism protects them from that. You will not realize that you threaten the control of a narcissist multiple times in any interaction. Based on their cognitive function and level of maintaining their facade and controlling their ignited fury you would not pick up on it. There is a huge amount of miss information out there. Some information can be dangerous be careful who you learn from.
Yes, good to point out the complete inability to empathize as the key characteristic of NPD.
I think the trouble with the term narcissism is that we think it concerns only a few other people.
However, 99% of all people live driven by their unconscious. It's not just some weirdos. That's the tragedy.
The counterparts of so called narcissists, who want to help and be loved and let themselves be abused are equally acting unconsciously.
So you better start with yourself before you try to heal others.
We can worn them we can show them we can even get Comprehensive about the dynamics but humans don’t work that I tried it. It will always be rejected and no those that cross over are the outcast we always were. But at least now I have the knowledge and Confidence that I am the happy one and they are quite sad inside… Love from a distance it is ❤ survivor of Narc Family and My last Gf who was a malignant NPD but ultimately opened my eyes to Narc society so instead I’m just grateful I know the game but don’t play just protect myself
Totally agree. We are all at some degrees, narcissist. Its the fallen nature of humanity, our ego blind us all.
Only God can save and cure us from that
To a certain point. Honestly alot of victims were trained to be as such in childhood. Its understanding that, and undoing the programming that will help them. They don't actually want to be abused. It just that there's something wrong that they can't put their finger on and it hasn't clicked yet.
Thanks for honoring free speech.
Talk about narcissism.
Carl Yung was a Protestant Christian ... who believed that his soul would be saved for an afterlife of eternal rewards ... while most souls ever created would be lost to an afterlife of eternal torment.
There isn't anything so narcissist as religion ... and the believe that one is the center of the whole universe.
"Moreover -- if I may put another strain upon you -- he thinks he is the Creator's pet. He believes the Creator is proud of him; he even believes the Creator loves him; has a passion for him; sits up nights to admire him; yes, and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to Him, and thinks He listens. Isn't it a quaint idea?"
'Letters from Earth'- Mark Twain
Great content and beautifully narrated! So refreshing to find a channel with a real voice, and not one of those ai abominations 💕
I am so glad you feel that way 🙏
Yes, I agree..beautifully done and love the art which beautifully illustrates the concept. Social media gives the wrong idea and labels selfish people or independent people as narcissists. In fact narcissists can appear super nice and interesting when you meet them but they are mortally dangerous if they have any kind of power over you or are in a relationship with you. Do not give them any information about you. One way to detect them is that in an argument they will accuse you of the very thing you are not. Example: you don't lie
They will say you are a liar.
Example: you are generous
They will accuse you of being mean.
This is projection, they are talking about themselves.
Narcissist can take ur life RUN.
And they won't feel a thing.
An UNDERESTIMATED outcome. As an avid crime/drama consumer. MANY of those crimes are inflicted by narcissists of various degrees
MANY comments point to trump as a MALIGNANT narcissist. All those qualities AND some
Very very very wonderfully put. Both compassionate and realistic.
Great images to illustrate the spooky darkness of narcissism.
“Narcissistic” “Narcissist” “Narcissism” are terms that are misunderstood by most people. People can watch all the narcissism - “expert” videos on youtube they want, but I find that it usually does nothing more than make narcissists think they are the victims, or - make people think everyone they don’t like, is a narcissist.
But it is rather complex. Unfortunately, these words have become so overused and misused in our society - devaluing their true meaning. Nowadays - most people just use the words whenever someone does something they don’t like, which in itself - is a display of narcissism.
Its more harmful than helpful.
This video is more valuable, however.
I totaly agree. I think most people shift their position on the narcissistic scale during their lifetime. I have an ex friend who is terrified of looking inwards. I mean I tried everything I could. She still occupie my mind alot and I still wonder sometimes what can be done to help her suffer less...
The only way to understand if fully is to be in a relationship with them
This presentation is a facile application of Jung's concepts to a condition which, by definition, is most often intractable to attempts to simply "fix" it. By definition, narcissism is an internal dynamic in which the narcissist CANNOT admit to their conscious self that part of themselves which Jung sees as the shadow. They suffer from the shame of an unreconciled dark part of themselves generating a general sense of insecurity and dissatisfaction which has to be compensated for by overpowering and manipulating others to provide them with a constant supply of validation and approval. The project of "fixing" narcissism with some tenderness and loving appraisal is doomed to failure since that is the very thing that the narcissist must consume, by any means possible, to render themselves 'acceptable' to and live with others. The narcissist cannot even make authentic contact with their dark selves, and any attempt to do so merely provokes a further cycle of shame and projection of their insufficiency onto others, often those close to them, more often hurting them in the process.
Presenter, please leave these explanations to those who have thought long and hard about a very difficult issue and have a far better understanding than you seem to have achieved.
Hmmm... so only *_you're_* 'qualified' to speak on the subject? Ironically, that sure sounds like a lotta 'entitlement' and 'grandiosity'! 😉
He did a great job präsenting!
This is a very good explanation.
@@klowen7778. Sounds fine to me. Go take a nap. Quick.
Great video about the subject. Thank you!
However…I tried the methods what you also listed on the end of the video, trying do be understanding etc to deal with the narcissist and all I got even more ego on his side, even more lies, and even more pain and domination.
The best way - if it’s possible by the given circumstances - to leave and protect yourself from this cruel dark “play”!!!!
boundaries, boundaries and love yourself enough not to allow this happen with you anymore!🙏
Having gone through Jungian analysis in my youth, an experience that shaped me in a balanced way, I thought I could ‘save’ the narcissist. I tried for four years. But this one did not wish to face one’s shadow, let alone change. The shadow is an overwhelming subject for this person. In the end, for my own balance, I had to open the door and run away. I reclaimed my dignity.
Narcissistic tendencies can be ameliorated over time if willingly and honestly addressed by the person with a lot of help from a trained professional with experience in treating such tendencies. HOWEVER: an actual narcissist--a person with full-blown NPD (of any subtype) is a LOST FUCKING CAUSE!!!
RUN, RUN, RUN, AND DON'T LOOK BACK!
Indeed. It's not possible to treat NPD of any type (overt, covert, malignant) to a full recovery. All types of NPDs lack the tools to look within and see themselves realistically (to see their disorder). Their disorder seems as easy-to-treat surface-level content but all their thoughts and actions stem from core content (drives, motivation, aggression). NO CONTACT or avoidance is used to limit the harm that one can face. NPD and psychopathy are incurable. The management of symptoms is done by others by ostracization.
Not sure how you gathered such amazing artwork, but you have some very effective paintings in this video. Thanks!
Love the artwork associated with the explanation of Narcissism
The art you chose is amazing. The one of Trump looking at himself in a broken mirror is especially
powerful. Using Jung's archetypes helps explain what I've lived with for most of my life, and it made it easier for me to feel empathy for these people. Bravo!
Narcissism, could-could be summed up as, either "Self-Infatuation" or even "Self-Idolatry" and Megalomania as "Self-Deification" ...
People think narcissism cant be cured because they don't see the limitations of psychology. Most people dont see reality for what it is so how can they help someone who try to escape it. Great video.
Wtf r u saying
Narcissist is actually not curable. Jung himself states this in a letter he wrote to the founder of AA 2 weeks before he died. The only chance they have is religion or spirituality, and only if, they place that higher power above the image of themselves, and the higher power at the center of their life.
Also by psychology terms NPD is a diagnostic term for individuals that have delusional thinking i.e., it is a fixed rigid personality disorder.
You are wrong. There is no cure for the narcissist because they refuse to look at themselves. Narcissism is a permanent state of being.
There are cases of cured narcissism.
The destroy people and families pitting one against the other.
Yes they really really do!
The artwork featured in this video is fantastic. I love these psychoscapes.
Thank you❤
I think about myself and my own narcissistic wounds, when I watch your video.
I can recommend Katrin Aspers book about the subject. She has been studying it even more than Jung did. For instance because of the time.
Her book is famous and very empathic.
I see bad advice here. Lay people can't help full fledged-NPD sufferers. Narcs won't ever engage with proffesionals that they can't manipulate into their distorted outlook on life and relationships. It's more important to set boundaries than some wooey "compassion", which most probably a malignant narc will see as weakness and exploit thoroughly.
My ex partner and I had therapy. My ex ran rings around the therapist. It took many times to point out to the therapist how my ex was wrapping her around her little finger, with tangible, objective proof. The Therapist was not happy. What shocked me was how easily the therapist believed my ex.
It's not right to be unkind out of fear of retaliation. Compassion should be extended to everyone.
Thinking about the depths of darkness will get you screwed over big time by self-righteous people. They say you are guilty if you think wrong, or stupid for not thinking about the darkness enough. There is no way to avoid their judgement.
My mom was a narcissist. She died last year at 84. Its a progressive disease. She hurt so many people in her life just because of her sick, mean ego. When we were little kids in elementary school she would sucker punch my sister and I. You would be talking about something or answering her and BAM!! She was violent asf. She hated everyone. She deflated my father who didn't want to spend one minute at home. He was drunk when he was home. He traveled for work.
I watched as she turned my sister into her emotional babysitter and I am the scapegoat.
I ended up in a doctor's office in my 50s wanting to die because of my hatred for her.
He educated me for a year and convinced me to walk away from ALL 3 of them.
Narcissists do not change, ever!
Alzhiemers doesn't even change them.
That’s hard there musta been somethin really wrong Idk but I don’t wanna say cuz I don’t know
Great stuff! Thank you.
Narcism is a wound. Even if people high in narcistic spectrum are difficult to deal with, it is important that avoid super negative speak.
That’s what I thought ( we’re all wounded ). but I get it .. attachment comes up I don’t know why but that’s what comes up into my head .. I know what I’m tryna say but I don’t know how to say it.
No Contact. They take you down!
Jung cheated on his wife and expected his wife to just suck it up and be tolerant with him having a mistress he referred to as the fragrance in his home. Well well well
The thing about nature is it always corrects… everything has to be balanced in our universe. Ying/Yang. Black/white. Up/Down. So why don’t people think nature doesn’t have a solution for narcissism… people don’t believe in empaths. And honestly most people who think they are really are probably narcissists.. but just as narcissism is real nature had to create a balance, a cure… if narcissism is the absence of emotions or not able to connect to it then the only plausible solution is one who feels all the emotions even that if others… it’s just we don’t know how to do it yet because we are only just beginning to understand them both but no one knows the full extent of what actually an empath can do yet… everything in our physical world has a spiritual counterpart….
They won't and can't change. It became obvious from a very young age that I was my Narcfather's scapegoat even though I didn't know what narcissism was. Let them rot alone forever.
Not sure it can be done though, it would take a really good professional , disguised maybe as a personal friend.... because if you are really close with them, it will eat you alive before they are cured, because your own feelings will get hurt, lol, and if you are a pro, they will look at you as a crazy person that does not know what he is talking about, and receiving any help is below them, they are perfect so why would they need your help, you are below them.
People can't help being narcissistic but they can control their narcissistic behavior
@@Katzenjammer70 No they cant. When they feel threathened the survival-mode takes over. To control the subconcious
Thanks so much for making this video. I dated a narcissist for 3 years 9 months. He got on Dabs weed wax it turned him into a monster.
Darling, he was a monster from the beginning he just fail from hiding it. !!!
It's scientifically proven dabs results on psychotic breaks and schizophrenia.
I had to part ways with a friend who is, in fact, a narcissist that I've known for 20 years. I understood the source as to how he came about his narcissistic behavior. I thought I saw somewhat of a spark within him when he was younger and had hoped to see him shine. For the longest time, I've witnessed his mistreatment of women he's been with and play the role of someone betrayed after they've had their fill of excuses as nothing seriously meant by "just joking" at her expense whenever company of others. Later on, exploit her for her purse and promises to pay it back, and so comes the sworn on only to swear as not having made no such agreement. I wasn't excused from his exploits, just as was married to his sister, who was far better than him when it came to being worse as a narcissist herself. They'll confess this terrible truth of theirs as they'll lie of change to be forgiven opportunity for repeated offense. There were too many trespasses against my awareness
holding on for a day in which I've long since reached out with words meant to connect with that spark to no avail, so then I moved on with no bid of fairwell
as I were now amongst those who betrayed him
An entire online “industry” has sprung up around narcissism. I’ve visited many sites over many years and the consensus is “fahgetaboutem.” You will never change the narcissist. If you have no choice because they are family members or co-workers, then you must set boundaries. (I know, easier said than done.) But this Jungian approach is, except for, perhaps, a psychotherapist, not something a person who is subject to narcissistic abuse is going to have any success with. It will only lead to more grief. Anyone who thinks they can help a narcissist to become a sensitive, vulnerable, caring person who will reciprocate the love that is shown them will be disappointed. Spare yourself the grief, disappointment, wasted time and, maybe, money. I do believe we are going through a New Age of Narcissism. So be aware and beware.
Excellent video, thank you!
Yeah the word narcissism is used a lot because it was long needed. Too many people are victims of narcissistic behavior and we need to do something about it.
It’s like these type of people live on an island full of quick sand , and they need you to bring them supplies ,only to find out that every time you go there you sink,get stuck in the mud and leave feeling sick 🤢.
Don’t expect them to leave this island to connect deeper with you or your family because they aren’t capable of leaving this island 🏝️…..
Well said.
Interesting to realize how many psychological concepts I take for granted originated with Jung. Very influential. Thanks for the video.
The only narcissist we should worry about is ourselves.
Finally some sense - the amount of times I've read 'Run' as if we are dealing with a wild animal or malevolent demon!
Some people are scarred by narcissistic abuse. Others have been psychologically maimed by it. Just be thankful that you don’t understand what these others are talking about.
@@elizabethl6187 Abuse is abuse. Narcissism is narcissism. They are words with entirely different meanings.I have no idea what you mean by 'maimed'.
@@SuperBoomslang Well… this is a good place to listen and learn about the long-term effects of abuse.
Now, if you wanted to learn how to read people, the same as learning to recognize benign and poisonous mushrooms or snakes out in the wild, you would start by studying the characteristics.
Personally, I haven’t been bitten by every rattlesnake I’ve encountered. But I thank the people who taught me to recognize and avoid them!
@@elizabethl6187 Have you been bitten by any rattlesnake you've encountered?
Finally a different approach ! 👍
This is poor advice for extremely sensitive people. Sensitive people will believe they can, "fix them". Unfortunately there is no fix for them. Accept it and for everyones sanity please let them go. Let me repeat it for everyone in the back, THERE IS NO FIX FOR THESE BEINGS, ACCEPT IT AND LET THEM GO.
I hate to be that person, but it's pronounced "Yoong" and "Yoonghian". - Awesome video, absolutely love it!
thank you for stepping up.
Since hes from Austria l.
Its right
Pevrt narcissists aren't victims. They chose to be horrible personne, because they like the sensations to dupe you and others. They feel above you no matter how intelligent, rich, or successful you are, if you fall for their tricks, you are less good than them.
Im so sorry for the trauma my ex endured. It's just not my fault and I'm not going to stand there and be the emotional validation supply that they lack. They have to find their own way forward.
I moved on.
Run!
And don’t look back!
very good explaination
Thanks for watching! 🙏
Some experts believe narcissism is at the core of all mental illness. It’s like ice cream. Everything starts with narcissism and then there are just a lot of different flavors and deliveries and spectrums.
Very interesting comment. So you are saying that a lack of self reflection is at the core of all mental illness?
@@thedust850 I can't take credit. From my research its a combination of genetics and early childhood trauma. Essentially the normal maturation process is stunted/paralyzed due to the trauma. No authentic self is allowed to unfold and the person becomes externally and other oriented. This leads to a myriad of coping mechanisms to protect the inauthentic self. Thats the nature of all the different flavors and intensities of narcissism. Borderline for example is narcissism with its own set of unique coping mechanisms and symptoms. Yes, the ability to reflect and process is crippled.
My narc mom and brother just died. They went away never saying sorry, not even to themselves. I'm finally at peace!