Why Do We Hurt The Ones We Love Most?
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- Опубликовано: 5 окт 2024
- Excerpt from a recent Sunday Zen: ruclips.net/user/li...
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Because we are most comfortable around them to show our emotion
A 100% this. Man we're mean. So much bitterness in all of us from the things happening around us and in the world now. We have no outlet and where's the place we bring it back to? Our homes and our loved ones. So unfortunate that they're the ones facing the brunt.
Give it back to where it comes from. Don’t take it home. See Jordan Peterson and others.
Here’s what I know from decades of exploring these issues: it’s all programming and starts early. Much of the trauma we experience in life relates to other people and from the time we are born we are hurt the most by those we love and depend on, and from those experiences we develop dysfunctional ways of coping with unmet needs, frustrations, and unfulfilled desires. Later these same reactions are triggered by the very people we love the most and we act out. It can be quite complicated but it’s not a conscious choice - it’s as automatic as a mouse trap. But we CAN make the conscious choice to stop -- to be aware, re-evaluate, and not react. Then we can heal the old wounds and develop new patterns. But it takes a lot of work and requires self-awareness.
This is excellent. I feel like we are able to not “hid behind our mask” as children. This is what kids display their emotions so strongly. We learn to hide it because of what we are told. To “stop crying”. “Calm down” ect. Then the child learns they need to act a certain way to be accepted. Especially with parents.
Wow, thank you Z. Trying to work through a lot of guilt around the way I treated my son while he was here on earth. 🙏
I love you
Because we know them WELL and they know us WELL. We see each other at our worst. We see each other's true character.
In my experience, I feel I can be the most authentic and honest with those who are closest to me (husband, children, siblings), but precisely, for that reason, I put myself in a more vulnerable position when interacting with them, which can activate a defensive response that may end up hurting the other (and those closest to you also know you best, and know your triggers) ... I'd say the closest the relationship the more intense are the emotions (both positive and negative)
Great reflection topic doc!
This is beautiful, insightful and healing. Spontaneous, alive and freeing. I so appreciate it! Thank you!
this is blowing my mind. Timing ... my current situation with the person I love and have for over a decade. Well done, well channeled. Thank you.
Because we also think (wrongly) that those people will always be there.
Cuz we can get away with it. Friends will kick rocks.
I’ve been waiting to hear that my whole life
I remember your first few interviews with your friend, whom I believe was also a Doc. He has changed your life. It is easy to watch and realize that you have done a whole 180 and have a renewed sense of self, what is important to you. Are you still practicing western medicine? The philosophy behind all this this is intriguing. I don't see a path to practice medicine in California in this state of being. Fascinating.
This triggered emotions in my relationship with my mother - haven’t seen her for 2 years, for my own emotional stability- I’m doing much better, however, this interview struck a chord - I feel guilt for not wanting to care for her
Insightful- Awakening goes on and on my friends - the “song that never ends” 🎶 😉💗
Because we think of her so close to them that we own them somehow and therefore, we shouldn’t have to give them the same amount of respect that we would give to anybody else including strangers, and I know everyone’s guilty of that there’s not one person on this planet, who’s not guilty of that I’m guilty of that. I’m still guilty of it and I know better and sometimes I slip but I try to remind myself that they are not yours like you don’t on them, and they can definitely walk away and cut you out of their lives if they wanted to.
Because love is unconditional
I think we are meanest to the one we love the most because we hate ourselves and we project this hate to the one closest, so we can punish ourselves through the guilty and shame mechanism.
Our whole family just had Covid and this variant is nothing to mess with. When are you going to cover this topic again? I see a lot of misinformation out there and I think people would benefit from it. Especially some who are saying you can get "long Covid" from a booster, etc.
❤
Control is a big part. Selfishness
Is merely existing mean?
Wow
("consultation!!")
("Achille's enthesitis!!")