8:30 "My allies have all these units just... just sitting there..." -- and not rushing into the hellish firestorm you keep unleashing across their nearby bridge? Yeah, I'd be sitting there watching the show, too!
Jason Pratt "Uhhhh, Commander? Why are we not advancing on the outnumbered British?" "Simple Hans, Oberkommando Valefisk has incendiary artillery shelling them to hell and back, and I for one refuse to become a friendly fire statistic. Also, it's fun watching the bodies fly."
@@alicebrown6215 *given order to attack* Commander: "Sheisse, we're going into that hellstorm?" Pratt: "we'll at least get a close up on all those flying bodies."
Incendiary weapons aren't actually a war crime if used against legitimate military targets. Only use on civilians, or military targets near densely populated civilian areas is prohibited. The only actual war crimes committed here were the indiscriminate shelling of helpless soldiers and doctors in the medical tents.
To quote the movie "Top Secret". - "He won't break. We have tried everything. Do you want me to bring out the Leroy Neiman paintings?" - "No. We cannot risk violating the Geneva convention."
List of accused war crimes in order of chronological accusation. 1: Usage of incendiary munitions on infantry: False, the Geneva conventions does not disallow the usage of incendiary munitions on valid military targets so long as civilians and protected assets are not in it's range. 2: Mass bombardment with artillery: False, once again, so long as it's a valid military target and civilians are not in danger, artillery may be used in any quanity. 3: Intentionally targeting medical centers: True, medical areas as designated by the red cross are protected by the geneva conventions and targetting them is a war crime.
While late, by 4 years, technically targeting the medical centers in not in violation of the geneva convention due to the large possibility of you and the enemy using it to either hide able-bodied combatants or keeping it so near other valid military targets that you are using it as a shield.
The conventions are trash. Nations can break them at will as long as global finance and media approve of the violence and cover it up. Drone strikes on civilians are completely acceptable it seems. Israel murders pregnant women all the time at their border. France is routinely gassing its own citizens and the international community says nothing.
- Nice baby, what are you naming him? - Valefisk - Interesting name, why'd you pick it? - We want him to grow up to be a self-deprecating youtuber. Also, we have no shame.
I feel like releasing a video about breaking the Geneva Convention goes pretty well with the end of the best Geneva Convention breaking simulator of the 1910's
You know, all you'd have to do to break it is put the Red Cross in the game. That's LEGIT against the Geneva Convention. So be more specific! I want a break down of your war crimes!
@@nathanlangwell1095 Incorrect actually, it was considered a war crime by the Japanese government but the treaty of San Francisco had already been signed. Preventing it from being acknowledged IIRC.
morrocoball takeover it wasn’t “The Geneva Convention”, and it didn’t ban as many methods of war as many of those banned by the Geneva Convention weren’t invented back then.
You won the game after you destroyed the last MG-nest. Look at 15:00 right at the corner of the minimap. I think your marder 3 did it. Also you didn't meme hard enough with the panzerelite. My tipp: order 3 hummels on any map and then destroy them yourself. After that order another 3 and destroy them aswell. Do not destroy/run over the wrecks! After you have enough wrecks of hummels get the Bergetiger. I think you already get what i am saying here eh? After you have enough hummels(-wrecks) you should be able to recreate the moon. Love your vids and hope to see another one soon!
Hey, I heard about your dad, I really look up the guy, he did so much for us in both world wars. Sad thing he had to die so close to the end though. Hopefully you'll be able to continue his legacy.
@@chrisd2051 Also, with the Elite Troops doctrine of the Ostheer, you can combine Stuka Halftracks, Nebelwerfers, Hummels, LelGs and Panzerwerfers to commit MOAR DAKKA
The hotchkisses were there because the German forces used a lot of foreign tanks they could conquer/confiscate in Poland for example one of the best tanks used was a Czech one the pz 38t
The MG Nests also count in annihilation, you have to destroy every single structure. Many online matches where I was losing so I sent my HQ truck to hide directly behind the enemy's HQ building just because they literally can't see behind the building unless they pan the camera. So if you distract them enough, they'll only find it upon retreating.
Hey! I think I know that guy! I'm not sure he was an electrician though as I remember him coming to my village. I believe he was actually a painter as when he came out of My family's house he had a bit of red on his painter uniform!
Fun fact about the hummel spg in this game: they only let you have 3 for a good reason, but if you get yourself a bergetiger, you can destroy your own hummels and make a gigantic graveyard of them, then rebuild them all with the bergetiger, and then the game doesn't care about pop cap or the fact that you have more than 3 hummels. I've had instances where I had around 20 or 30 of them vapourising enemy positions while my pop cap is a few hundred above it's limit, it's OP and broken as fuck and I love the fact that the AI doesn't use it nor does even the hardest AI know how to properly counter it, because when your enemy has so many already kinda OP spg's, all vapourising your infantry, vehicles and buildings, you don't have enough to push through their lines to destroy the spg's, you probably don't have any artillery of your own after it ate 5 or 6 HE shells at the same time and you can barely afford enough units to protect your base, let alone enough to sneak through the cracks in enemy lines or push through them
The complete disregards of artificial lives (would probably be the same with actual lives) and actually enjoying committing war crimes are the main reasons I subbed to you. Never change Vale.
Have you tried the Infinite Hummel Tactic? You Kill off your Hummels in a corner, but you dont break their wrecks and make sure you get a burger tiger or 2 before you do it. Then Call as many Hummels as you want(There’s a limit of 3 but) that’s where you have infantry throw their AT Grenades next to them. Once again dont break the wrecks then once you have what you want, get the burger tiger to recover them. Then just rinse and repeat. At one point i had about 24 Hummels going over the pop Cap by like...10 times or something..
#demonitizationgang
you're quite literally 73 lol
fuck me
Wait did your intro mean that hitler is your dad?
Please stand up!
What's a Geneva convention
"I expected them to die, but they actually succeeded in their mission!"
You'll do great in the Guard.
The Emperor Protects.
Yes!
Even better, the death korps of krieg!
*excited gas mask noises*
@ivan ivanovitch ivanovsky O, it was overwhelming alright.
...
8:30 "My allies have all these units just... just sitting there..." -- and not rushing into the hellish firestorm you keep unleashing across their nearby bridge? Yeah, I'd be sitting there watching the show, too!
Jason Pratt "Uhhhh, Commander? Why are we not advancing on the outnumbered British?"
"Simple Hans, Oberkommando Valefisk has incendiary artillery shelling them to hell and back, and I for one refuse to become a friendly fire statistic. Also, it's fun watching the bodies fly."
@@alicebrown6215 *given order to attack*
Commander: "Sheisse, we're going into that hellstorm?"
Pratt: "we'll at least get a close up on all those flying bodies."
"its not my fault war crimes are so effective"
Nice
Vaping Eagle *United States in Vietnam
@@notsocrates5979 *most countries in most wars
Heard him say it as I read it 😂
Hey! You are good candidate for the we got away with Genocide club.
Incendiary weapons aren't actually a war crime if used against legitimate military targets. Only use on civilians, or military targets near densely populated civilian areas is prohibited. The only actual war crimes committed here were the indiscriminate shelling of helpless soldiers and doctors in the medical tents.
to be fair the game requires they be destroyed to win bc it is a base building if I'm not mistaken.
They aren't a violation of the geneva conventions, but they do violate the convention on certain conventional weapons.
To quote the movie "Top Secret".
- "He won't break. We have tried everything. Do you want me to bring out the Leroy Neiman paintings?"
- "No. We cannot risk violating the Geneva convention."
"We surrender!" Says the the unarmed british soldier. Valefisk: "Send in the napalm boys it's getting out of hand"
If you choose Defense for your level three, infantry dodges 10% of all in coming fire. I've seen squads Matrix their way around snipers.
Ahahahahhahaahahahhhahahahahahahaahahah ahahahhaha
That sounds amazing.
List of accused war crimes in order of chronological accusation.
1: Usage of incendiary munitions on infantry: False, the Geneva conventions does not disallow the usage of incendiary munitions on valid military targets so long as civilians and protected assets are not in it's range.
2: Mass bombardment with artillery: False, once again, so long as it's a valid military target and civilians are not in danger, artillery may be used in any quanity.
3: Intentionally targeting medical centers: True, medical areas as designated by the red cross are protected by the geneva conventions and targetting them is a war crime.
While late, by 4 years, technically targeting the medical centers in not in violation of the geneva convention due to the large possibility of you and the enemy using it to either hide able-bodied combatants or keeping it so near other valid military targets that you are using it as a shield.
"Cant break conventions if you dont sign them"
Edgy Proverb
Soviet union
@@larkalfen9510 Also the US regarding the use of white phosphorus and cluster ammunitions
The conventions are trash. Nations can break them at will as long as global finance and media approve of the violence and cover it up. Drone strikes on civilians are completely acceptable it seems. Israel murders pregnant women all the time at their border. France is routinely gassing its own citizens and the international community says nothing.
Goober Magoob France is gassing their own citizens what the fuck do you mean?
@@Vegito_Fanpage they're using tear gas in protests. I'm honestly not sure if that against the convention. But it's quite morally strange.
9:10 Valefisk accidentally discovers the creeping barrage tactic while trying to kill his own soldiers.
This is why he wasn't allowed to be a general in WWI
Was it intentional to upload a video about war crimes on the 100th anniversary of the WW1 armistice?
You mean the World War Half-Time Show?
@@drakarna8271 Where Germany forgets how to Germany and the world economy goes to the shitter? THAT'S THE BEST PART!
They weren't crimes then
@Soviet Melon your sacrifice was in vain
vtec just kicked in yo
Nerf shotties.
Panzer elite. Born to compete. Never retreat.
*Ghost Division*
i see, you are a man of culture as well..
Living or dead. Fed by your dread.
Always ahead. *Ghost Division*
*5 years later*
PRIMO VICTORIA
You can't break the Geneva convention, when you destroy Geneva
*It's nuke time *
*Switzerland sweats porfusle
FIREBOMB GENEVA NOW
You cant break the geneva convention if you break geneva and burn the convention
*laughs in SS*
Hospital? More like...
*Practice target*
Oh Mr Oskar would be proud
Practice target indeed
Happy 100th armistice/veterans day!
Do you mean *Remembrance day?*
Do you mean 100th anniversary of Polish independence?
@Mirogod fucking fascist
@@FlyGirl774 but it's the same thing...
@@mrbork7218 *ThATs thE JokE!*
- Nice baby, what are you naming him?
- Valefisk
- Interesting name, why'd you pick it?
- We want him to grow up to be a self-deprecating youtuber. Also, we have no shame.
@@welshieranger4697 much appreciated :D
Considering by description of his father he was born between WW1 and WW2, thats an impressive amount of predicting the future
@@Brent-jj6qi his “father” was a ww1 vet who killed Hitler. His father was Hitler
When people question the Hotchkiss:
"She may be French but her cannon packs more punch than your pistol..."
“Rules are meant to be broken”
War lord Valefisk
The fuhrer Adolf Valefisk
Vale: The funkwagen has a very special ability
Me: He's going to steal resources?
Vale:*Drops goliath*
Me: oh.
War Crimes and Vale go like pb and j.
Superis Closer to a gas canister and the ww1 trenchline
War crimes and vale go together like hallow and cost.
The Geneva Convention is more like an optional list, you pick and choose the best bits and ignore the rest.
Breaking the geneva conventions is the bread and butter of multiplayer.
Look if we can't commit war crimes on the real battlefield we'll commit them on the digital one
0:44 That pronunciation was actually flawless
I feel like releasing a video about breaking the Geneva Convention goes pretty well with the end of the best Geneva Convention breaking simulator of the 1910's
Valefisk:
"Where are those enemy units"
Valefisk:
"Ah I see you've built another hospital"
Theres no such things as war crimes if you’re the winner
b0b until the league of nations was established
crunchy toast Did it really do anything though?
@@notsocrates5979 No. Even the UN is of questionable effectiveness.
There´s no crime if you do not get caught
Io the UN has had little to no effectiveness
you know its only now after coming back to this video 2 years later that i understand the opening bit about your grandfather
The actual Wehrmacht followed the Geneva convention more than you.
On the eastern front even. Jesus, so many warcrimes.
Chuckles in SS
Chuckles in Gestapo
Chuckles in SA
@@lelagrangeeffectphysics4120 Chuckles in NKVD.
They're more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules...
-Captain Barbarossa- Valefisk
You know, all you'd have to do to break it is put the Red Cross in the game. That's LEGIT against the Geneva Convention. So be more specific! I want a break down of your war crimes!
If you win it’s not a war crime look at Hiroshima
@@nathanlangwell1095 or dresden
@@nathanlangwell1095 Incorrect actually, it was considered a war crime by the Japanese government but the treaty of San Francisco had already been signed. Preventing it from being acknowledged IIRC.
@@noahwatt1269 dresden was not a war crime, that is a misconception based on misinformation
@@NMahon Of course not
10:49 Erwin Rommel when noticed Normandy invasion 1944 Colorize
Technically, the Geneva convention didn’t exist back then, but now we know why it does....
Yes it did? It existed before WW1 but everyone just ignored it.
morrocoball takeover it wasn’t “The Geneva Convention”, and it didn’t ban as many methods of war as many of those banned by the Geneva Convention weren’t invented back then.
@@suirahplanogemo3407 How to ignore the Geneva Convention:
-Step 1: invent new war crimes.
The Geneva Convention existed since 1864. Yes, there have been many more additions and modifications to it but it still existed since then.
It was made in the Victorian era, everybody just ignored it.
Medic: tries to help his dying allies
Vale: Cowabunga it is
You won the game after you destroyed the last MG-nest. Look at 15:00 right at the corner of the minimap. I think your marder 3 did it.
Also you didn't meme hard enough with the panzerelite. My tipp: order 3 hummels on any map and then destroy them yourself. After that order another 3 and destroy them aswell. Do not destroy/run over the wrecks! After you have enough wrecks of hummels get the Bergetiger. I think you already get what i am saying here eh? After you have enough hummels(-wrecks) you should be able to recreate the moon.
Love your vids and hope to see another one soon!
That strategy is meant for a game over an hour long... it's definitely worth the wait
I mean his disregard of grouping units together just makes him feel like a dummy. That and his total lack of overview. Geez.
0:47 "which I knowingly mispronounce as 'the Scheldt'"
->
pronounces it correctly...
Who needs silly pieces of paper, that tell you what to do and what not to do, anyway.
0:07 Wait a minute......
Switzerland?
I think you mean Southwestern Germany.
*ANSCHLUSS INTENSIFIES*
They're the same culture so they must want to live under a fascist dictatorship!
Eastern Europe? I think you mean *LEBENSRAUM*
I think you mean *EXPANSION FOR RESSOURCES*
Switzerland? I think you mean SWEDEN.
You officially broke the Geneva convention when you blew up a hospital
Vale "upload video about war crimes on armistice day" fisk.
Seeing someone still playing and uploading this game automatically made me want to subscribe, I love this game to death! :D
11:17 that tire kill
holy shit man I never even saw that haha
Top ten anime deaths
A detail so tiny yet so satisfying
Hartkorcraft
*THUMP*
Hartkorcraft Heinrich were going home *gets hit* fecks sake Wilhelm
7:40 Legion at the first battle of Hoover dam
Oh my god, the world rangers too, while on a dam... perfect c:
*Repeatedly breaking the Geneva convention*
OH ÝÝÝÈÈÈÈÈÈÁÁÁÁÁH
anything: exist
mortar: "it´s free reeal estate!"
“In WW2 he managed to kill hitler.” Haha nice joke- *wait a minute*
Hey, I heard about your dad, I really look up the guy, he did so much for us in both world wars. Sad thing he had to die so close to the end though. Hopefully you'll be able to continue his legacy.
Tank Destroyer Tactics is the biggest meme
Half Track, two Tank Busters, and double AT efforts.
You should play the Eastern Front mod. Makes war crimes even more enjoyable.
Nothing more satisfying than two Flak 88s, intersecting fields of six MG-42s and a mortar with dozens of Russians funneling in
@@chrisd2051 Also, with the Elite Troops doctrine of the Ostheer, you can combine Stuka Halftracks, Nebelwerfers, Hummels, LelGs and Panzerwerfers to commit MOAR DAKKA
“It’s not my fault war crimes are so effective”
Valefisk 2018
Vale: launches war crime
Game: +5 exp
Finally! Another CoH video!
Thanks, I needed this
EDIT: Gotta play Murica and Wehraboos
EDIT2: Proud of you, son
are you valefisk's dad?
@@xxCreeperPLxx N-no...
*rants over **-Steiner-** Valefisk revealing my identity*
@@ScurvyBoi did they accept you in art school
@@T--madefromstalinium Wow, well this is an old comment, I guess the joke doesn't really work now huh?
@@ScurvyBoi i dont know what your talking about,so i guess they didn’t accept you in art school.also ummmm valefisk’s dad when did you shoot hitler
The hotchkisses were there because the German forces used a lot of foreign tanks they could conquer/confiscate in Poland for example one of the best tanks used was a Czech one the pz 38t
Your artillery meme power is growing. Next: British artillery corps on the right island of Hochwald Gap...
"He even managed to kill Hitler" 0:07 - 0:10 , -Valefisk Nov 11, 2018
Oh hell yes ;d
Not but really your content lately's been absolutely awesome and i hope you're having as much fun making it as i do watching it unfold.
The MG Nests also count in annihilation, you have to destroy every single structure. Many online matches where I was losing so I sent my HQ truck to hide directly behind the enemy's HQ building just because they literally can't see behind the building unless they pan the camera. So if you distract them enough, they'll only find it upon retreating.
Actually at this time period all of this is legal, except for the blowing up hospitals part.
It’s still legal today, other than the hospital part.
1:21 Behold: the 2/3 tracks
Why did Germany lost: they didn't ask for more Hummel's
7:51 my favorite part in this video.
I didn't think you did anything wrong until you knowingly bombed a hospital and realized i should've called the cops a long time ago
Geneva convention? What's that? Can I smoke it? 😆- Valefisk after defeating the British
Schelt on multiplayer vs real players is pure and total fun!
Valefisk's father:
Fought in WW1 and WW2
Managed to kill Hitler.
Hitler killed himself
Hitler fought in WW1
Coincidence?
*I THINK NOT*
The amount of times you say “fuck me” is impressive
You know my great Grandad was in the German army I think he was a electrician because his uniform had two lightning bolts on it.
Hey! I think I know that guy! I'm not sure he was an electrician though as I remember him coming to my village. I believe he was actually a painter as when he came out of My family's house he had a bit of red on his painter uniform!
God! I loved Panzer Elite! Heavy infantry spam never felt so *good!*
you artillery and tank spam, with the bergetiger you never take losses.
Drinking game: take a shot every time he says “fuck me”
Complains about not having won yet
"Wait why? Why did I win!?"
10/10
Fun fact about the hummel spg in this game: they only let you have 3 for a good reason, but if you get yourself a bergetiger, you can destroy your own hummels and make a gigantic graveyard of them, then rebuild them all with the bergetiger, and then the game doesn't care about pop cap or the fact that you have more than 3 hummels. I've had instances where I had around 20 or 30 of them vapourising enemy positions while my pop cap is a few hundred above it's limit, it's OP and broken as fuck and I love the fact that the AI doesn't use it nor does even the hardest AI know how to properly counter it, because when your enemy has so many already kinda OP spg's, all vapourising your infantry, vehicles and buildings, you don't have enough to push through their lines to destroy the spg's, you probably don't have any artillery of your own after it ate 5 or 6 HE shells at the same time and you can barely afford enough units to protect your base, let alone enough to sneak through the cracks in enemy lines or push through them
holy sht i didn't know your dad was Hitler im a big fan
The complete disregards of artificial lives (would probably be the same with actual lives) and actually enjoying committing war crimes are the main reasons I subbed to you. Never change Vale.
Been out for just under an hour and its unlisted. Rip.
0:28 Are they born to compete and never retreat?
GHOST DIVISION
Is this artillery only?
No-one:
Everyone:
Valefisk: ITS TIME FOR A WAR CRIME!
>Uploads war crime meme vid on 100 year anniversary of WW1 ending
Kek
The Geneva Convention? More like a *suggestion!*
Who needs hospitals amiright
Not injured people, that's for sure!
Injured people? You mean *ENEMY COMBATANTS TEMPORARILY UNABLE TO FIGHT* ?
What’s better than dropping artillery on a hospital. Dropping incendiary artillery on a hospital.
had to like off the bat for that premium hitler joke
ryan winborne it took me a moment but was very well done
"I was expecting those guys to die, but they actually succeeded in their mission" - Every single general during WW2
Valefisk perfectly pronounced "The Scheldt" imo. Am I missing the joke?
12:05 In hindsight, putting a giant red target above your buildings probably isn't a good idea.
Your daddy may have served in WWI and even killed hitler, BUT my pappy...
Read more
Lead glorious REVOLUTION in mother Russia
Oh wow, I can't believe they made a game about the Yugoslav wars. That's really cool.
That opening joke is the cleverest I have seen in a long time.
I think the proper way to pronounce "front line hospital" is weapons stockpile.
"It's not my fault war crimes are so effective."
Have you tried the Infinite Hummel Tactic?
You Kill off your Hummels in a corner, but you dont break their wrecks and make sure you get a burger tiger or 2 before you do it. Then Call as many Hummels as you want(There’s a limit of 3 but) that’s where you have infantry throw their AT Grenades next to them. Once again dont break the wrecks then once you have what you want, get the burger tiger to recover them. Then just rinse and repeat. At one point i had about 24 Hummels going over the pop Cap by like...10 times or something..
The Geneva Conventions is pretty much the equivalent of the dude at Laser Tag telling everyone at the start “no running, no screaming, no diving”
Please make even more, this is really fun to watch
"Repeatedly Breaking the Geneva Convention"...
_There are no words to describe how good that sentence is._
"I fcuking love war crimes." First video I subbed.
The mobile British base is made of the finest plot armor in all the land.
This guy trying not to say "fok me" every 2 seconds
Tank destroyer tactics, double bazookas, two bazooka squads in a halftrack, and you get yourself a vehicle that kills any other vehicle very quickly.
The Funkwagen is a Radio Halftrack its used for communication between Frontlines and Squads,Tanks and nother stuff