I got emotional just listening to this 🥲 Just left another narcissistic relationship and decided it was time to get to the root cause of my attraction to these terrible people. I discovered my root issue is attachment trauma. This video hit home. Going to keep researching and seeking healing and help from the Lord. Can’t do these types of relationships in any way shape or form again. I refuse!! I know it starts with first loving myself ❤ Thank you for this info.
Hello I am curious how this works of abandonment was at age 1 by parents then after a year given back to parents and abandoned by care giver? How do I release? ❤❤ Thank you for you and your knowledge 🙏
Seems like by heading entirely inwards, the middle step leads into the "need to be loved to learn to love yourself" vs. "need to learn to love yourself before others will love you" catch-22
These videos are great! Thank you. (Also, someone needs to coach these amazing presenters on where to place the video recorder (probably his phone). Video needs to be from above the man's head rather than up the nostrils...)
Which perspective is measuring the truthfulness of what the younger part is holding? It sounds like a another part may have concerns about what is held?
This is good - however, BIPOC peoples in particular have cultural forces that have impinged their childhood experiences. It's not just about their family of origin, but also the culture which has devalued and misunderstood their thoughts, needs, feelings, and identities, and overall a culture which devalues compassion, common humanity and human dignity. What happens is not 'release and transformation' as Dr. Anderson suggests, but internalization and enactment. The patient can also see their struggles as linked to the broader struggles in the culture for validation, respect, compassion, inclusion, etc. So that as violence is being enacted, they can link from their core knowledge about how vulnerability is impacted to build resilience, relatedness, and insight in the process of social change.
Very insightful. Thank you for sharing this important perspective. Your comments also make me curious about the impact of similar cultural devaluation for the LGBTQIA+ population. Age of the individual would also be very relevant here since things have changed so much over time. There are vast differences in the childhood experiences of my mother's generation (age 76), my generation (age 45), my niece's generation (age 26), and school age children now. Yet even now, all still have some measure of cultural turmoil surrounding a fundamental part of who they are. Trauma is certainly not just about family of origin for this population either.
I’m a colored immigrant and I think this goes for everyone not just bipoc… It is going to vary depending on the values and history of each country and culture. And it’s going to vary even more based on the individual and their lineage. Yes we should be sensitive to people’s background but dividing people into groups and making assumptions based on race can be dismissive of individual experiences and expression. In the end we all feel pain in the same way and also heal in the same way.
I already did the 3 ways and they really helped me. But now what? I'm facing the struggle of disorganized, a little anxious and an avoidant attachment style? I see no techniques for the attachment styles specifically. This is actually more inner child healing.
Hi Mitz, you can find a lot more information regarding Attachment when you sign up for our course titled The Neurobiology of Attachment www.nicabm.com/program/attachment/?itl=store. You can also take a look at some of our blog posts surrounding this topic using this link: www.nicabm.com/?s=attachment. Hope this helps!
@@wisdomtoknowthedifference did it help you? I just read the comments and can tell you, that schema therapy by Jeffrey Young uses the exact same method with the ideal parent and the reparenting. It may be more easy to find a therapist using the schema therapy since it is more commonly known. I copy the definition from wiki: "Schema therapy is an integrative psychotherapy combining theory and techniques from previously existing therapies, including cognitive behavioral therapy, psychoanalytic object relations theory, attachment theory, and Gestalt therapy." The founder thought that a lot of clients didnt get better so he took the best of all the existent methods and combined them. It is very helpful for everyone with all kinds of deeper rooted issues. The therapists act as ideal parents and help you in the course to reparent yourself on your own. There is a long questionaire to be filled out at first so that the therapist can get to know you without having only to rely on his personal opinion since the questions and the analysis of your answers are standardized. Diagnostic alone is a really thourough process.
i dont belive the self can heal attachment wounds. others play a role in caring for us before we can care for ourselves. im speaking from personal experience. THE SELF is the problem....we never had anyone but ourselves.
those who cared for us did a really shitty job, not taking care of us and nurturing us as needed. therefore, we don’t have a self. but can create one… i been w a phenomenal therapist
It’s your conscious mind accepting and loving your subconscious inner child (or you as a child) so instead of always seeking the validation from others because of the attachment trauma. So you’re accepting, validating and loving your child self to release the childhood trauma. So you’re loving accepting yourself instead of seeking it from others.
Why not just use the maximum treatment effect size 3-pillars method described by Dres. Brown & Elliott in "Attachment disturbances in adults - Treatment for comprehensive repair" (2016)?
"Im throwing it in the LAVA! - OK fine" that made me LOL 😂
This video made me cry.
Very intimate, getting in touch with the wounded part, and showing up for it, isn't it.
We love Frank 💕
This was helpful and explained in a easy way to grasp. Thank you.
I need this process right now in my life more that I could ever imagine.
I got emotional just listening to this 🥲 Just left another narcissistic relationship and decided it was time to get to the root cause of my attraction to these terrible people.
I discovered my root issue is attachment trauma. This video hit home. Going to keep researching and seeking healing and help from the Lord. Can’t do these types of relationships in any way shape or form again. I refuse!! I know it starts with first loving myself ❤ Thank you for this info.
I feel ya! And those narcissist know exactly what we crave and love bomb us into a relationship.
Short and sweet. And very very helpful
I subscribed to get ideas for my healing work. I hope you can do more about healing poor attachment styles.
Same+1 :)
This was fantastic! Thank you. Made so much sense out of bits and pieces I’ve learned over the years in this short video!
Hello
I am curious how this works of abandonment was at age 1 by parents then after a year given back to parents and abandoned by care giver?
How do I release? ❤❤
Thank you for you and your knowledge 🙏
This is wonderful. Thank you!
How to lead ourselves to love the young selves? What to do with resistance? Is there a way to promote it?
So useful . Thank you
This work transforms lives. I need to do this.
Seems like by heading entirely inwards, the middle step leads into the "need to be loved to learn to love yourself" vs. "need to learn to love yourself before others will love you" catch-22
Love Dr Anderson's vibe
he reminds me of my therapist,calming, knowledgeable, loving and safe. i can handle this.
Great. Thank you so much.
beautiful and very helpful, thank you!!!
These videos are great! Thank you. (Also, someone needs to coach these amazing presenters on where to place the video recorder (probably his phone). Video needs to be from above the man's head rather than up the nostrils...)
Transcript would be great to have!
Thank you for your feedback!
Please know we are working towards having transcripts available in the future.
Sorry for this inconvenience!
This is effective.
Does it matter if the story the younger part is holding is false or inaccurate?
Which perspective is measuring the truthfulness of what the younger part is holding?
It sounds like a another part may have concerns about what is held?
Thanks very much!
This is good - however, BIPOC peoples in particular have cultural forces that have impinged their childhood experiences. It's not just about their family of origin, but also the culture which has devalued and misunderstood their thoughts, needs, feelings, and identities, and overall a culture which devalues compassion, common humanity and human dignity. What happens is not 'release and transformation' as Dr. Anderson suggests, but internalization and enactment. The patient can also see their struggles as linked to the broader struggles in the culture for validation, respect, compassion, inclusion, etc. So that as violence is being enacted, they can link from their core knowledge about how vulnerability is impacted to build resilience, relatedness, and insight in the process of social change.
Very insightful. Thank you for sharing this important perspective. Your comments also make me curious about the impact of similar cultural devaluation for the LGBTQIA+ population. Age of the individual would also be very relevant here since things have changed so much over time. There are vast differences in the childhood experiences of my mother's generation (age 76), my generation (age 45), my niece's generation (age 26), and school age children now. Yet even now, all still have some measure of cultural turmoil surrounding a fundamental part of who they are. Trauma is certainly not just about family of origin for this population either.
Rubbish- how do you know what cultural forces are at work in underclass white families. You've never lived that.
I would love to see you do a video that elaborates upon this
I’m a colored immigrant and I think this goes for everyone not just bipoc… It is going to vary depending on the values and history of each country and culture. And it’s going to vary even more based on the individual and their lineage. Yes we should be sensitive to people’s background but dividing people into groups and making assumptions based on race can be dismissive of individual experiences and expression. In the end we all feel pain in the same way and also heal in the same way.
It also seems like this kind of thinking assumes that colored people are less resilient…
So true❤
I already did the 3 ways and they really helped me. But now what? I'm facing the struggle of disorganized, a little anxious and an avoidant attachment style? I see no techniques for the attachment styles specifically. This is actually more inner child healing.
Check out Ideal Parent Figure therapy - research is showing it highly effective for disorganized attachment
Hi Mitz, you can find a lot more information regarding Attachment when you sign up for our course titled The Neurobiology of Attachment www.nicabm.com/program/attachment/?itl=store. You can also take a look at some of our blog posts surrounding this topic using this link: www.nicabm.com/?s=attachment. Hope this helps!
@@jakalakaful thank you. 🙂
@@nicabm okay. thank you so much☺
@@wisdomtoknowthedifference did it help you? I just read the comments and can tell you, that schema therapy by Jeffrey Young uses the exact same method with the ideal parent and the reparenting. It may be more easy to find a therapist using the schema therapy since it is more commonly known. I copy the definition from wiki: "Schema therapy is an integrative psychotherapy combining theory and techniques from previously existing therapies, including cognitive behavioral therapy, psychoanalytic object relations theory, attachment theory, and Gestalt therapy." The founder thought that a lot of clients didnt get better so he took the best of all the existent methods and combined them. It is very helpful for everyone with all kinds of deeper rooted issues. The therapists act as ideal parents and help you in the course to reparent yourself on your own. There is a long questionaire to be filled out at first so that the therapist can get to know you without having only to rely on his personal opinion since the questions and the analysis of your answers are standardized. Diagnostic alone is a really thourough process.
Very helpful. Thank you.
Wow, sounds great. Thanks
She feels empty and alone atm ❤
What if you don't remember being a child?
✅
The problem is that I don’t know much from my childhood… its so blurry… I remember good but also less good times.
i dont belive the self can heal attachment wounds. others play a role in caring for us before we can care for ourselves. im speaking from personal experience. THE SELF is the problem....we never had anyone but ourselves.
those who cared for us did a really shitty job, not taking care of us and nurturing us as needed. therefore, we don’t have a self. but can create one… i been w a phenomenal therapist
@@bkirstieMay I ask who?
I don't understand is the actual what is being done to improve
It’s your conscious mind accepting and loving your subconscious inner child (or you as a child) so instead of always seeking the validation from others because of the attachment trauma. So you’re accepting, validating and loving your child self to release the childhood trauma. So you’re loving accepting yourself instead of seeking it from others.
Why not just use the maximum treatment effect size 3-pillars method described by Dres. Brown & Elliott in "Attachment disturbances in adults - Treatment for comprehensive repair" (2016)?
I can’t actually remember I was to young
Perhaps too simplified for complex trauma
The more complex a trauma or disorder the simpler the treatment ought to be
somehow i stop at the part where i need to give love to my younger self