"Nobody Ever Does Anything Once" Robert Greene on Detecting Toxic Patterns
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- Опубликовано: 20 сен 2024
- "Nobody Ever Does Anything Once" Robert Greene on how to Detect Toxic people; Signs of Toxic Patterns.
"The ability to judge people's character may be one of the most important skills you can develop in life because you’re constantly in a situation in life in which you have to decide on whether you want to be with this person or not. We’ve all been in situations where we thought somebody was a certain way and then a year later or a few months later we discover a whole other side to their personality and it’s not good, and were surprised, disappointed and we tend to blame them as if they were fooling us, people leave traces of who they are, you're just not picking up the signs. Nobody ever does anything once, if somebody has done a bad deed, where you see them mistreating somebody else and then they will come back and say, oh it just come over me, this happened once, it’s not who am. You should not ever believe them, realize that people have patterns; when they do something bad; they probably have done it before and will do it again."
“There is no one more dangerous than a person who has no self-awareness, they can’t see who they are because that gives them license to do whatever they want and feel justified.”
►► Original interview
• How to Turn Anxiety in... How to Master the Art of Getting Anyone to Like You
• Laws of Human Nature D... laws of human nature dissected by Robert Greene
• Seduce & Influence Any... Robert Greene with Tom Bilyeu
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ROBERT GREENE
Robert is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, The 50th Law, Mastery, The Laws of Human Nature & The Daily Laws, he turns to the most important subject of all - understanding people’s drives and motivations, even when they are unconscious of them themselves
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►All materials in these videos are used for educational purposes and fall within fair use guidelines. No copyright infringement intended. If you are or represent the copyright owner of materials used in this video and have a problem with the use of said material, please send me an email at outliersinsight@gmail.com, and we can sort it out. Any infringement was not done on purpose and will be rectified to the satisfaction of all parties. #robertgreene #toxicpatterns #toxicpeople
People reveal who they are when they don’t need you
"People leave traces of who they are, you're just not picking up the signs." WORD!
❤
My therapist explained to me that it wasnt that i lack self awareness, i lacked discernment. I give people to many benefits of the doubt. I have worked hard to listen to my gut know and watch actions. Now i have a completely different circle.
People with no self awareness wouldn’t become aware to watch a video like this…they remain without awareness
People who want to be self aware will watch this video and go on to improve their life, leaving this behind.
Facts
@@durjoyb1282facts
Well said
@@durjoyb1282 if you are not aware of the fact awareness even exists, how can you even conceive to look for it?
It’s like looking for something we don’t even know exist, or even we don’t have the idea of the idea of existing
“I would say that patterns don’t lie” Be aware! 😮
Pay careful attention to who people really are, not to what they want you to believe.
I'm a people watcher. Still do.
My older aunt to say
"Learn how to Read people"
Thank you
It's interesting how many people automatically take this to dating or in the context of intimate relationships. This is a skill that is useful in all areas of life. The ability to walk away from people is a skill to master. Toxic people are draining. People have been taught monsters are hideous when in fact monsters are often beautiful, that is how they lure people in. The key is learning to listen to actions in comparison to the words they use, toxic people love to be victims, they love to isolate in various ways, always trying to nitpick or if they take offense when you meant none. Again, this is not just about love, but co-workers, friends, a boss, and even family members. The greatest defense is to know you can walk away from anyone. The only expert on you is you, Be cool.
True dat
On point
Great explanation , thanks.
Great summation! 💯%
I really appreciate how these videos don’t have some long unnecessary intro.
it's common sense but yeah. If you see a cockroach there's already thousands under the floor
I love this!! It's so true
So true, I dealt with a female who I thought was very kind and sweet. I got love bombed in the beginning. I let my guard down and this girl discarded me multiple times. I gave her 2 extra chances and she threw me out of her life over and over.
That happens when you are stupid 😂😂😂
Damnn I thought you were my ex
You didnt do it once either...😂😂😂
I remember when I realized my ability to read people. That's not something anybody taught me.
WOW I'M STILL LEARNING TO NOT IGNORE OR DISMISS GUT LEVEL REACTIONS
in a way people do teach u that, by giving u the circumstance like a toxic environment. But its ur accomplishment to see and understand what is happening.
All of the years of abuse, conniving, backstabbing, bullying & crap from other people has made me hate this world.
No matter how much you adapt. No matter how much you try to understand these difficult people & try to work with them etc. They hate you more & want an excuse to abuse you.
Stay away from them. I have.
Heal dear and stay away from bad people
Sometimes you got to experience contrast to experience better things
These lines are wise observation - "They've learned to disguise themselves. So, really toxic people have learned since an early age that if they just simply display their ugly behaviour, they'll turn off people. And so they learn to be charming. And they learn to be kind of seductive".
Really great information. While no one can be perfect there is a distinct line regarding manipulative and toxic behavior. As someone who has been a behavior specialist for 3 decades I remind people that acting surprised or "offended' by ongoing behaviors is reinforcing and enabling. We recognize the patterns in art, music, design, the weather and may other parts of life. Behavior patterns are the same. Words are not deeds, be aware your alignments!
Craig, thank you for this info! How do I become a behavior specialist? I am a teacher, but this field has always fascinated me. It's so important to know human behavior, it'd spare a lot of trouble in our relationships!
It's true, to a point. In my profession I've seen ppl do bad things and never do them again for some ppl really make the effort to change. I'm not saying ignore the red flags of past mistakes but just note that we have all done things we are not proud of and they don't define us for the rest of our lives, if we make the change.
This right here. There are instances I've experienced where people stop something, or atleast don't outright do something when it's brought to attention or possibly if they are told something is wrong. Not everyone obviously there are definitely bad characters out there who do everything all the time, but I've experienced instances of somebody doing a "bad thing" once or a couple times only
A lot of successful people are obsessive - and that's why you should never judge people by their outside and on their character/habits. When you lack the self awareness to notice yourself - especially if you are obsessive, overly passionate, compulsive, afraid - you can't integrate dark portions of your character and work on things that simply do not fit you or work for you.
If u want to attract honest & good people: be one.
“It takes one to se one” - if u are a good/honest/healthy mind; u will se others who are as well. And u will detect the fake ones 🐺
It’s all about a person’s actions at the end of the day !
Yes I’ve learned this lesson thank you for your knowledge on this matter… if they show you something believe them the first time ❤
Pravda!
Hardest thing to see in life is yourself. Life's most distracting noise is silence. Life's greatest illusion is innocence.
We are all bad in someone's story so we move on
1:25 when ppl show you who they are the first time believe them - Maya Angelu
Listening and applying what I hear on his videos has already stopped me from making some of the same errors over that I have done so many times in the past. I'll listen because it is sinking in.
The real problem is that I label my parents ‘toxic’ but now as a father of a boy and a girl I can see same traits in myself. Hence, I see my son checking grounds whenever he speaks to me. He is 4,5 and we only had one conflict. From that point on he became much more cautious. And it is so painful.
“People leave traces “ watch it !!!
People are fooled because they want to believe in the fantasy of people in order to feel good about their own lives...we do this with celebrities and are amazed when their true selves emerge in chaos...show business sells us this lie about famous people and we buy it 😮
I think my father is a toxic person. He is very charming, but behind that he often gaslights my mother. My father was anti-critic, every time we criticized him, he would get angry and physically abuse my mother. And it happened for almost 40 years of marriage. 😢
Narcissism possibly. They make everyone miserable.
Wow. 😮
I find your examples of inflexible, ego driven control freaks right on. One family person attacking me in a wide variety of ways, just goes off the deep end, hysterical, if I try to discuss the issue. After years of putting up w/ it, I give up, since the attacker has zero ability to step back and be honest Re. Name calling, insults, ghosting, rage & more.
Try dealing with a solicitor that's supposed to defend a case you're in, only to find out that later on, they were delaying your justice this whole time simply cause they just don't like you for being yourself and setting boundaries.
He is a genius.
Sometimes people do change if you set boundaries. I agree there are a lot of people who shows signs and it's a GOOD indicator of their character but there have been moments where people have changed when they become aware OR you put your foot down.
one time,years ago I over heard my sisters talking to my adult daughter,,,say "our brothers are weak men"....I really wish I was a strong brother,father...but I'm not..
Yes I agree - I am learning this now and watch out for this behaviour 😊
*Thank you for such great video. Hope to see more from you. Much appreciated! 💪*
My mechanic said it’s not a good idea to have your front end aligned too much because bending the metal makes the metal weaker.
I might add to that: if you’re working for a boss who criticizes you a good bit for no reason and seems to be an idiot himself, you need to change jobs and not feel that you are the problem when your boss is actually the problem.
I do have a lot of toxic behaviors that I need to get under control; I gossip, I lie, I complain, etc. I need to become a better person
Yeah the Person I was dealing with found out he's a Textbook Narcissist. No ability to Self Reflect, or as this video said Self Awareness, No Empathy, No Genuine Care for Anyone Other than himself. Worst Person ever to be involved with
I appreciate the voice in these videos. It's not some hard edged woman with over glammed hair and too much make-up
I love Robert Greene but I don't agree the statement that nobody does anything once. Sometimes it only takes once for someone to know they don't want to do it again.
It's true but that is the exception to the rule.
I will not do “that”again .No exception that’s the rule !
A more powerful way to impress the subconscious mind is saying it in a constructive manner, such as: "I'll remember to avoid making that mistake". There's something magnetic how we can phrase our statements sounding less negative that's more impactful; the conscious mind picks up that stronger pull or charge, which signals the subconscious mind to organize it accordingly. Our brain is quite amazing and mysterious. Anyone can look this up, I forgot the person who teaches these psychological tips.
It is not that one cannot change. But they are who they are and most people in most instances are the same as who they already are.
@@pearpo "change" requires an already established pattern as a baseline. Doing something once doesn't establish a pattern.
True im careful I can't be used❤❤ if it's ur algorithm please spare yourself of the trouble I will catch u good luck not directed at u rob❤❤
I have been watching those people that you are talking about for a very long time …… patterns don’t lie , they just tell you who those people are …. Toxicity as in a nuclear bomb . There are tons of them out there unfortunately!!!
I Do think that people say what they mean. And mean (by their actions or lack thereof), what they don’t say. It looks like this;
Person # 1: Hey Friend, I have to cancel for tomorrow. Can you do it Sunday instead?
Person # 2: Sure. I am going to be at such and such a place on Sunday from 1-5 pm socializing. You can join me. I’m running errands before then.
Person # 1: Oh, it sounds like you’re busy. Maybe another time instead.
Person # 2: Sure. Contact me when your schedule is free.
Can you smell the bs?
There’s both projection and a lack of follow up on the part of Person # 1.
And is an example of the excellent admonition that “Nobody does anything once.”
This exchange just happened between myself and someone else a short while ago.
Actually when I read that exchange I thought person #2 was giving person #1 the brush off. So , hardly surprising pers #1 gave up the initiative of reestablishing contact. Person #2 should have responded with “Actually Sunday is going to be tricky, because (reasons),. I’m so sorry about that, but why don’t we have another try next week? I’ll get back to you about when I’m free next week, ok?”
Of course, that’s with no knowledge of what person #1 ‘s previous form is.
Absolutely agree :,Look on the real actions !
Oh shit, now I'm scared of myself.
They do if they have self awareness.
DJT...🤮...
God, that felt good🙏.
The writing is on the wall
Helpful. Thank you !
Look for the wizard behind the curtain 😉
Despite all that charisma, Howard Hughes now lies in his grave without a single dime in his hand. His money couldn't save him.
Saying no one ever does anything once is not accurate. Second, the people you describe are likely displaying the poor effects of some adverse childhood conditions, events or treatment. It is best to avoid people who display these traits that are inevitably abusive, deceptive or manipulative, BUT it is also wise to understand why people are the way that they are so YOU don't decide that YOU are the problem. No one does anything for no reason. And further, if you are in a cycle of ending up with these types you need to look at your own underlying issues and why you are drawn to or are drawing that to you.
I think “no one does anything deceptive, abusive or manipulative once” is probably implicit in the title. The example of Howard Hughes’s was probably not the best as he was autistic and not seeking to deceive or manipulate. But, I have myself observed in people that any immoral behavioural trait is exactly that … a trait, not a one off.
@@emotown1 I think many people have had a "one-off" under stress or highly emotional states. It is ignorant to ignore that fact.
@@Toppgg-ci9er You are absolutely right. I appreciate your explanation. This is actually something I have been digging into for some time now, so your stopping by with this comment is very much appreciated.
35 years ago, newly married, I encountered a young man ( running for local politics ) and I found him openly phony and completely full of hooey. I came home and warned my husband to stay away from him at City Hall. My husband would tell me I could not tell that from 5 minutes of observing that dude ( it was 55 minutes ) that he was a skunk. I said yes I can! Just a few years ago, the Eff Bee Eye finally caught up with all the crap the guy did and he's out now from a club Fed. Now, my husband will listen to me about miscreant's character.
I think people need to learn to understand the autistic spectra lot more. Howard Huges being an excellent example to start with!
Tell the truth. Not to worry, they will have to use someone else.
My favourite neighbour ‘Jude’ is toxic as hell and I saw it from day one
i have no self awareness and it sucks. i try so hard to change, but no matter how hard i try to be kind, everyone still thinks i’m a bitch. i guess i’m fucked beyond repair.
In my case they chose me! Because who I am! Now I am being blamed! I think not!!!!!
Everybody has A weak character everyone is weak
Im aware that as i wonder what the Guy is doing in the dark in the chair , self awareness and the predictable behavior of everyone i encounter lately, would be unwise to wait and see, in case it aint nothin nice
Why are your videos so dark?
Because that’s life.
I only went skydiving once and I do not intend to ever do it again.
so basically people cant change at all?
Believe your eyes and your gut.
Should we let them come back in our life?
What di ti say about religious gaslighting.
What does grandiose mean??
Dude thats a bad idea lol he says a lot of very smart things but the nobody does anything once thing is kinda vague. He gives a good description but that could apply to so many things you could easily mess that up. People change. Don’t be naive but don’t be judgmental either. Which is hard.
Don’t not be silly please mask but don’t change.
I agree with you, Lee. I was defending this view for most of my life, until I realised that real transformation is so unbelievably rare, it's probably not wrong to not give people the benefit of the doubt most of the time. It pains me to admit this.
@@katharina... thanks life is really complicated and yes sometimes when you attack people who are trying to get their shit together instead of just trying to come from a place of understanding you just send them into a downward spiral and it’s not helpful
@@Shotzno Thank you for saying this. It's good to be reminded, every now and then, that it's important to be compassionate. I needed to hear this.
Toxicity is always fined u cant achieve being drunk❤❤🎉🎉haha
Well, to begin with, the individuals doing the draconian screening he suggests, are 50% under average intelligence, probably same about perception, and likely much less in wisdom.
They are likely to have less than average self esteem, i.e. huge chip on their shoulder.
Anyway, I’d suggest to take it easy, do not assume the worst, and learn not to get emotionally sucked in, because that is you letting yourself be manipulated.
then im in trouble lol
👍
Dalai Lama
Untrue
I disagree with this man. because against you you also have dishonest business that revolves only around making money. and you can't judge that in the relationship either, because it always starts with phases. no one just does something is always a reason behind it. some people are distorted by their experience in life some of them become bitter and others become wiser
Some of the assumptions are humanist trash
ultra narrow view of people ultra narrow view of the world, ultra narrow view of skills & how they relate to people. by this logic this guy would pass on isaac newton for a science job & james brown for a funk band. straight up. what is this jibberish.
>criticism criticism
>no objective reason explaining why
@@isaac8228 you cant generalise about people via narrow personality traits. want a genius like newton? they come directly from the negative anti-social traits mentally ill this guy is knocking. People didnt say yet "another episode screw him" they stood by the guy. want James browns funk? yeah have an unreliable impulsive drug addict in contrast to newton those same traits are why james brown is funky. want a reliable accountant or retails workers doing a job a computer could do sure.. listen to this guy. Humans are neurodiverse tribal creatures, thats our success. this doesn't reflect that a bit & is a very narrow view of where unique human skills come from. diverse & unique personalities, that cant be so easily managed or even understood by others. its real entropy in humans complexity we are not as ordered and predictable like this chap makes out.
@@isaac8228if you will look for bad in any person than you will not be avle to find a good or perfect person . There is nothing like perfect
Makes sense people are capable of changing.
Many writers are there to perpetuate the status quo.
It takes one to know one Robert.