Pedophiles shouldn’t be able to get out early based on good behaviour Of course they’re behaving well in prison, there’s no children there for them to traumatize ?? I’ll never understand it
the system failed her, her mother failed her, her family failed her, everyone failed her. when is this going to stop! as a mother, i’m sickened beyond belief.
@@diltberg9627 If you consider how many people kill themselves as adults due to being sexually abused as a child/ the effects it has on people it basically ruins their whole life the trauma just think they need to increase the penalty. I know a man in my town that got only 1 year from 11 charges of “penetration of a child under ten years old and with objects too” he was released and showed up at my gym giving my friends daughter in the lounge a Barbie doll! WTF! His name is Frank vierra dude should have been lynched. Imagine the kid that got “penetrated” by him ruined thier life forver
Most of us who have been through this were parentified children and did so much to protect our mothers. Even if they completely failed to protect us. I'm 47 and I still protect my mom.
I think she has spent a lot of time trying to understand her mother's actions and what she must have been thinking and feeling in order to ignore the abuse. Understanding who someone is and why they did what they did doesn't mean you forgive them though.
My father raped and SAed me for years and I remember feeling so ashamed and alone. I would search for videos like this just so that I could know that I wasn’t alone. This video would’ve been so helpful. Thank you sharing your story
Hearing these stories are trigger and helpful for me. I moved out of my family's house at 17, due to emotional abuse and sexual abuse. I'm glad there is information out there to help all of us know we are not alone. Thanks for leaving your story here ❤
It makes one think that this was due to JEALOUSY! The mom was jealous of her husband being attracted to her own daughter. This is the so extremely sick that is unfathomable 🤮
"Tell me if I'm jumping ahead" that's so nice. I wish more podcast/reporters would be so considerate. You want someone to tell their story, let them tell it.
I spent more time in jail than this man for prescription fraud. What a messed up system. She is so brave and well spoken. I appreciate her sharing this heartbreaking story❤
@@macadelicmandyWhat does it matter? Prescription fraud isn’t hurting someone else but yourself. Molesting a child can change their entire life…. Less than 1 year for completely destroying 2 lives is ridiculous…
@macadelicmandy I'm not sure why these people are getting so defensive and triggered over you asking the definition of a term. They seem....unstable. That said, to put it simply it's when an individual fakes/forges a prescription in order to obtain or distribute controlled substances.
@@macadelicmandy Prescription drug fraud can take many forms. The most common tactics are to forge or alter a prescription, to doctor shop, and to phone in fraudulent prescriptions posing as a doctor's office employee. Theft of prescription pads is also common. Forging prescriptions.
people speak about it as if it’s some historical thing or only occurs in the south but soooo much of SA happens within the home therefor so much is incest
She's incredibly brave! I'm so thankful to her, bc this podcast is what slapped me out of denial of what happened to me(& my sisters, cousins). I sent my little sister this podcast & told her almost everything I know about our childhood. Without this pod & Sammy's bravery, I wouldn't have had this realization & the courage myself to confront & share my trauma. Thank you, Sammy & system 🥲🙏🏻❤
I agree. It takes so much acceptance of what happened to you to tell this story. I dont know if I would ever go public with this if this happened to me.
I was abused by my female cousins. If you feel like something is wrong, PLEASE talk to someone, anyone. It took me over a decade to realize that I had been molested and will take even longer for me to feel like I’ve healed at all.
hey... my cousins always made me play "house" with them when im reality they were having sex with me. i was so little. my therapist told me "that's just how kids play"....
@@jennafuc3319I've been told that too... if it feels wrong, than its wrong to you. Some kids take advantage of other for their own pleasure and "curiosity " (I was always told they werebjust curious kids) and it's not your fault! It isn't normal. Now that we know that we can protect children better.
My step father abused me my entire life and then stole my car and gassed himself when I told the police. My mum kicked me out of home bc of the resentment she had for me ‘fucking her husband’. No one believes me when I tell the story… it’s good to hear a scarily similar story and not feel alone xxx
It was a week after my 17th birthday he killed himself. The week prior he cornered me in our kitchen and said I was finally allowed to tell, because he was so depressed due to the fact I had recently got a boyfriend and that he was planning on killing himself. I thought he was bluffing so I told my mum who didn’t believe me at first, despite the fact he had told my mother he watched CP, and multiple other family members coming forward to tell her that he had attempted to molest their kids. He was banned from family events and my mother kept him in the house and stood by him while he physically and emotionally abused her as well. Her and I have a broken relationship sometimes it is better sometimes worse.
@@kirakoraawesome thank you guys 🙏 I remember just randomly telling a man I worked with at the poultry processing plant I worked my story, just for a laugh to see his reaction, as he was brought up in a war torn country, and asked what it was like growing up in Australia. So I told him exactly what it was like for me! He just shook his head and said No way that’s not true. You need to respect your mother blah blah blah. Ok mister 😅 I’ve had people gossip and my ‘friends’ tell my story for me without permission, only to have random sticky beaks come up to me in public saying ‘THAT DIDNT REALLY HAPPEN TO YOU RIGHT?’ Hahaha all I can do is a laugh or cry. I sent my mum MC disturbance (allday) - diss track to my step dad mark to my mother on the anniversary, as his name was mark, let’s just say she wasn’t happy 😃
DID is so stigmatized. it’s an extreme defense mechanism to protect from severe trauma, usually from childhood. these kind of videos on DID is so important to share
100% agree. I did an extremely extensive research paper on DID and there is so much the public could learn about it. There are so many misconceptions about it, it’s actually very sad.
Oh so that's how I ended up being recommended this, you know I didn't actually believe/know DID actually truly existed. This...brings up some rather interesting, and uncomfortable, questions about intelligence agencies, The Finders, and ritual abuse. It also infuriates me beyond belief the controlled opposition of Qtards hijacked that.
Ya know I always associated peodiphile with my father after I came to terms with him raping me as a child.. but honestly after watching this conversation it's only just now occurred to me that that is considered incest.. that I am a survivor of incest.. crazy how even years after traumatic incidents, you get these sudden bursts of realisations that completely change the way you view those incidents
i feel this a lot. it's not nearly on the same level, but i was an adult before i realized i was sexually harassed and groomed by an older man when i was 11 years old. i just pushed the memories away and never thought about them because my family made me feel so ashamed.
I will never understand a mother who tells their child they're lying about being abused, let alone by their own father. Putting myself in their shoes, I imagine I would go to jail for murdering my husband after hearing that. It's absolutely disgusting to silence your own flesh and blood.
It happened to my next door neighbor, she was 10 at the time and her parents were separated because her mom cheated on her dad with border patrols. Two of the border patrol officers sexually abused my friend and one time we were over at his house and she was not in the living room with the rest of us. All of a sudden she came out and I asked her where she had been and she said, "He wanted to take pictures of me in the bathroom."
it happened to my friends brother, his cousin claimed he did after he went to jail they came out and said it wasnt true. not everything is true but the damage to the person that got accused will always be there.
I can’t believe he was a CHILD MOLESTER CONVICTED AND ON THE REGISTRY AND THEY STILL LET HIM LIVE WITH CHILDREN It’s just insane how the system doesn’t take this types of crimes seriously; what were they thinking
Yes she's probably totally deranged and mentally sick as well and probably abused herself in some ways, at least mentally, because she was obv totally co-dependent but still jail time would serve her well
100% worth watching their whole story for this- "If somebody would just say something, you know what I mean? If adults would just be like, 'hey, this is what being molested looks like', because to me, it looked like love." AND THIS IS WHY WE NEED PUBLIC SEX EDUCATION STARTING AT A YOUNG AGE. You cannot always trust guardians to teach their kids from right & wrong.
besides ignorance, this is 100% why people don't want sex ed taught to kids! kids who are educated on their anatomy, consent, and what is appropriate are far more likely to recognize & report abuse and it's more likely that their abuser is convicted. predators don't want kids educated so they're easier to abuse
This is exactly what I was thinking! Children need to be educated on what abuse looks like so that they have the tools to speak up in these very disturbing and heartbreaking situations.
Her mother COULD see everything, she pretended she couldn't bc the dad is the priority. She did not care about her kids. Gross narcissistic, abusive pedophiles. Yuck.
Same thing my mom did. She always bragged about how she never beat her kids but would watch my father beat us until we had scars. Also bragged how she came to our rooms every single night to make sure we were sleeping safe but somehow did not bump into my father once and catch him sexually abusing me in my sleep… then she gave him full custody of my little siblings and now calls herself a counselor and therapist for other girls my age and uses my abuse story which I never gave her permission to do. She’s giving other girls the help she should have given me but all she cares about is herself
As an incest survivor and mom it is so hard to know for sure id toure paranoid or your own husband violated your child. Rage and heart break denial... I have him under supervised visits set up and do not know the truth ... I'm doing my best .... It's all so confusing and overwhelming
I love how the cat jumps up on the table when the conversation starts getting more and more intense. Plus the smile she’d get when the cat jumped up - I love animals. Best podcast I’ve seen so far this year.
right they definately 100 % sense or feel it in some way , im not sure exactly the sensing ability that is used. as im sure you know dogs can also do this, dogs can sense even before something medical or life threatning happens in quite a few instances i would assume a cat is just as capable to catch some those fishy issues before it even really happens too . animals just know , call it their own little type of gut feelng or a sixth sense perhaps?
They way they let this man go free and just allowed him to continue abusing her and her siblings is so sickening. 8 months???????? EIGHT MONTHS?????? How is this possible why are we allowing our legal system to be this way?? We need to do smth
Because in the legal system there are also sickening people. The big leaders in generally are sick basterds. History will always repeat.. It is what it is, the question is when will the authorities change? Really for the better? Over the fucking world, you really don't want to know how soft the system in the Netherlands is.. it will break your heart.. also the question what does the people generally think about what is the best punishment is about this subject.. over the world. People aren't honest then..
When u look at the maximum sentencing range for sex crimes in every state, u will see exactly why. Society earlier believed those abusers could be rehabilitated. But let’s get real, our institutions were never intent on rehabilitating anyone. We should’ve always had rehabilitation centers and few actual prison jails. Until then, nobody’s safe and offenders will reoffend and many of the abused become offenders themselves. Across all boards.
Wait until you hear about Andrea Serrano. A 31 yr old teacher who got pregnant after abusing her 13 yr old student. She's not facing any jail time and kept the child. There's a probability she'll be asking him for child support.
i never finish youtube videos ever, specially hour long podcasts, but i feel like i almost didnt blink watching this one. The way this girl digested her horror story and articulated it is absolutely amazing. She tells it like someone who has told it many times before and doesnt hold blame for what happened, which is the place everyone who have been abused wants to get to. What an amazing, brave and intelligent human being. She deserves all true and unconditional love there is.
I'm a victim of incest myself (specifically COCSA) and it's such a weight to carry. I've never told my family, probably never will, and it hurts a lot. I'm glad to see this being spoken about. I don't have DID so I can't speak on that, but my heart goes out to all victims of incest and sexual abuse in general. It is an incredibly scary and confusing thing to go through.
@@MondayTurtle thank you so much :) I'm not currently in danger, but I still really do appreciate your kindness. i have informed someone of what happened but didn't say who specifically
@@fraisemouse ok! im so glad you have someone who knows and that you are currently safe. :) ik im just some random stranger on the internet but seeing stuff like this really gets to me.
@@nellieshoals i have never been formally assessed for either, though i do suspect that i may show signs of having PTSD. ill look into getting assessed for it :) thank you for your concern ❤️
same with mine. i was 13 when i told her and she called me a liar. like bruh, what motive would a 13 year old have to lie about abuse that had been going on for years? it's baffling.
"Your abuser is not worth your sanity. If you feel like you need them, take a picture and leave." I feel this. Taking pictures before throwing away items associated with them helps to actually get the items out of the house, too. Thank you both.
This podcast is so cool, it shines lights on topic that are normally only discussed in the news or educational ted talk or something. This is such a breath of fresh air. Keep up the good work girl
@@Rawannni yes, my parents never wanted to talk about it and it became a very sensitive topic surrounding my family. I wish more people spoke up bc the more light that gets shined, the more lives can be saved.
I love how you get right to the point and let your guests tell their story. No BS opener, just straight to the point. And I LOVE the beautiful cat jumping up to help break the intense emotions of these stories. Animals are amazing. This story was wow. This is one strong woman
I was also molested by my dad as a child. He legitimately thought we were in a relationship because I was one of the “I wanna marry dad” types of little girls. When years later I, ironically, discovered the manosphere at 10 I took the advice they intended for men for myself and it gave me the strength to put him in his place enough that he never touched me again. He did however spend the rest of that week seething because I “broke up with him”. People who commit incest are absolutely sick.
As a mom I don't understand. I was never sexually abused but physically and mentally. I remember crying to my mom in 4th grade and she said "I am staying, I can't make it alone without him" and made me continue to live with the abuse for years until I was able to escape and live with my biological dad in 8th grade.
Same. I will Never let anyone lay a hand on my child. And I will never forgive my mother even after therapy and 25 years. Move on yes but forgive? Absolutely Not
My mom literally told me and my siblings the same thing: "I can't survive without him" And now her children are adults with yrs of trauma, mental issues, and anger directed at her for choosing to stay when she was, at the very least, financially capable of surviving without him.
I think her mother was probably another victim. it wouldn't be the first time wives do this kind of thing, especially religious ones. She's was fucked up in the head. Definitely failed her kids, definitely guilty, but I would like to listen to her if one day if she ever has the mental capacity to admit that she knew
@Yinn's Yard yeah we have to realize that the mom was a fully fleshed out person themselves. Doesn't excuse her actions, they were just probably in such deep denial about the situation & hoping they could fix the father with love etc. There's layers to this stuff is what I mean
@@joycecardinot9284 come on what an absolute cop out! As a mother your number one job is to protect your children, religion has alot to do with it for sure. But victim this woman is not.
@@clairelicciardo6198 We don't know her mental state to go in such deep denial. We don't know what this psycho pedophile did to her, we also don't know her background. I said she *probably* was another victim, I don't know for sure and probably never will. This is not to say that she shouldn't be held accountable, but something must have happened to her. I would listen to her with the benefit of the doubt, and some compassion, until she proved me wrong. But you don't have to share my opinion, I have my reasons.
My uncle sexually abused me 2 years ago. I was 15 and, it took 2 years to go through the trial. I’m from the UK and, my abuser got sentenced to 20 months… 10 months on good behaviour. And as much as I am so great full for the work the police did for me, im now sat her counting down the days until the 27th of December this year. 10 months from his sentencing. I only came forward for the sake of his younger daughter, my cousin. And her mum, doesn’t believe me at all. And I hate that she is more than willingly letting him around his daughter when he gets out, and this story has terrified me even more. I am so proud of this girl to speak about her story, she is so brave. Xx
I don’t know how it works in the UK, but you should go after a civil suit too, either now or once he’s out. In the US, most attorneys who specialize in these cases will do it on contingency so they only get paid if you win. You deserve more justice than just a bullshit prison sentence. If you feel you have ptsd or any other mental health conditions as a result, getting a formal diagnosis prior to legal action can help a ton. I’m currently in the middle of a law suit against my father for my CSA
i was sexually abused by my own biological father for years throughout my childhood. and the scary thought is the things he probably did to me as a child that i dont even remember. i finally told someone when i was 11 years old. and hearing this young lady talk about her experience like this means the absolute world. ive searched for videos like this of people going though similar things as a young child. and i know its very common but you dont really find people that go in depth with the feelings and life long issues that come from this type of trauma. i grew up with predators. and unfortunately it was my own family. but the fact one of these people was my own father is such a scary thing to open up about. because i know that something like this is such a sensitive topic and hard to understand. and that's understandable. my father got locked up for 5 years when we was supposed to serve 8 years. he was supposed to get out when i turn 18 but got early release. my point is, im so greatful to hear this girls story. im 17 years old now and ive come such a long long way and im still recovering from unwanted trauma. thank you for opening up your story for girls like me. you are a hero in my eyes. and ill forever remember this.
I feel like this stuff will get even worse thanks to pornography. The incest category is very popular and that tied in with the current manosphere preachings I can safely say that all men are a potential threat to children. Purity culture and societies obsession with the concept of virginity are also culprits
mostly every women I know were moleste and groomed. Most sexualized their trauma with reenactment and CNC of their childhood. it is very common and promiscuity can be therapeutic
As someone who is now 31 and was molested by his mother and older sister from 10-17, I'm both sorry this happened to you, but grateful you are able to explore getting help this early in life. I didn't start therapy until 24, and it took until probably 29 or 30 for me to really heal. We are not what happened to us, and we are not alone. Keep your head up and keep pushing forward. You got this Alexis.
It’s insane that she missed that much school and nobody looked into it. And the power of grooming that she was in the mindset to never tell anyone and see it as a bonding thing. I’m glad the friend was brave and said something. We need to teach our kids even charismatic ppl will push your boundaries cuz how it happened multiple times to get friend and her friend didn’t say anything for a bit is tragic. And the mom was vile as well. The system (being interviewed) is so amazing and I wish the best for them.
I will never understand why people are let out on good behavior, especially for crimes like this. You are in prison because you are a danger to society! It's a punishment!
I get being released for good behaviour in some cases, like for posession of drugs like marijuana or for some minor theft. Especially if those are first time offenses. But for CHILD MOLESTATION?????????
@@frozenyogurth I agree I think that any crime involving the malicious harm of others should not be able to get out on good behavior, they are sick and need help while some will never change because there’s no time limit to being a pedophile it doesn’t just stop after serving 1 month
It's because in America the prisons are absolutely flooded with people in prison for non violent drug offences, mostly just possession for personal use, so there isn't space to keep the people who actually should be in prison in prison
she's incredibly strong. what made me sad was hearing her say she had an adult brain/was an old soul which is another form of grooming/manipulation by abusers
Abusers truly capitalize on childhood trauma... I had a different upbringing and went to a therapist at 11yo, thinking I was above everyone else because I was SO aware. Kids who are patentified or have to emotionally mature faster due to trauma can seem like "old souls", which causes people (and prdtrs) to say they're "mature for their age". Makes for easier targets later on
@@Ferreneh I had this happen to me a lot as a child. People in AA/Al-Anon (because my parents were at least trying--even though I also experienced watered-down incest) who were trying to heal from their own life traumas would look at me and say "she's so mature for her age." Girl I was traumatized 🤣😂 I feel like those people were saying that because they could sense that. They'd always lock eyes with me with a wise/nurturing attitude, so I feel like there's other subtexts to it.
Having been abused as a child and a past relationship, I totally sympathize with her struggles with sex now. In my current relationship I often assume he wants me to do stuff and he'll literally tell me "it's okay, we're just relaxing. nothing crazy." and I'm like oh? and I have to not feel offended. It's really weird.
I relate so much. Like I’m 18 now but I’ve never been in a relationship ever. Never kissed anyone, nothing. Bc if I ever get close to intimacy even as small as a hand hold, I’m like “it’s coming” and I get scared and back away. Even if my dream person, my biggest crush ever, asked me out I’d turn them down because of this fear. I hate living like this. I’m so happy you are in a safe and healthy relationship and I wish we never experienced this stuff.
i always get so unexplainably upset when he denies advances even though I wasn't even super feeling motivated in the first place, just feels like I should, I get you
I was sexually abused as a child by another child, a few teenagers, and an adult neighbor. to this day, I don't understand why or how I was put in those situations. I always put the blame on myself because I was the common denominator. I struggled with being overly sexual growing up, after these incidents, and with being promiscuous. Now sex is very complicated and, quite honestly, I hate it. the pendulum has swung. cptsd and bpd are a wild ride.
I 100% agree and understand what that feels like. You’re not alone and it takes a lot of work to get to a better psychological place with it. It’s so much more tied to complete trust too.
I relate so strongly to her story. I was also molested by my biological father when I was little. I too remember feeling offended and jealous when I noticed him grooming my friends. I didn't know what grooming was at that age but I did know that he only acted like that around me. He would have this laser focus on the child he was grooming which meant that I became invisible the moment he was interacting with them, and I was used to being the only special one so that was very upsetting. I've lived with so much guilt over the years and felt disgusted with myself for the way I thought and acted back then. I was just an innocent child and I know it wasn't my fault, but 15 years later I still feel disgusted with myself at times. At least he's dead now, which was honestly the best thing that could have happened for my mental health. But I regret never going to the police.
same, about feeling jealous once my molester moved on. it’s really difficult to say, since people have this image of a csa victim, and unless you fit into it, you might feel gross. i was so little though. :( also, don’t feel too bad. you were just a kid. you had no choice over what they did to you, and let alone, the support around to help you decide what to do. internet hug
You did the best you could do with what you had in you back then. You can say your best was shitty and it is arguable, but I really believe you did your best. No reason to feel guilty now. If you were able to do better, you would have, I'm sure of that. Besides, the fact that you realize that now instead of remaining in denial is exactly what makes you a better person now, and deserving of self-forgiving.
I am so terrified of someone molesting my child multiple times a year we have a talk about what type of things are not okay. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your story. I’ve learned a lot about the disorder from you, and how the brain handles trauma that has helped me understand how my brain operates
i’m glad i’m not the only one terrified and has constant conversation about bodies and boundaries, what’s not okay and that it’s okay to talk to me. she’s only 4 but this world is scary.
Same. I talk to my 6 year old about it. (I don't use vulgar words or anything) just talk to her on her level. It's so sad and horrible that I even feel like I need to at all.
Same. And the most important thing to tell them is that, no matter what someone says about how they’ll get in trouble or they can’t tell anyone or anything like that, it’s absolute BS and you should always tell mom immediately no matter what.
I dont have kids, but i have a niece that i would simply die for. And even as an aunt i get terrified at just the thought of it… i cant even imagine how it must be like for a parent, a mom. 😢
When she said her mom walked in more than once and saw them in bed, that broke me. He wasn't even hiding it. How did that not shock her back to reality?
Her ability to be so eloquent about her trauma is incredible. It's so hard to share these things coherently, especially when your memory is fragmented. I couldn't do what she did in this interview. What a brave and beautiful soul.
I was abused by my dad, and he would say he was going to kill himself so often, it pretty much became small talk. He would say "make sure you give me a hug in case I'm dead tomorrow" or "Don't be shocked if you find my body in the morning". I remember I finally just had it and yelled at him "well are you going to do it or not?!" and both he and my mom were so taken aback that I said that. But I was so sick of the abuse and I just felt like I would have relief if he was gone. He never ended up committing suicide, but its just insane how often I hear threats of suicide are used by parents to their children.
I resonated with her stating that for years of her life, she completely forgot her trauma. Throughout most of my adolescence after the abuse, I remembered nothing. I remembered everything this year and it was insane.
When life gives u the final slap of reality.. it get’s better 🙏🏼 keep healing 🙏🏼 now, your mind feels safe enough to finally feel and remember those hard to deal with memories and feelings .. it’s a step forward in the right direction, even if it doesn’t look like it for now, trust it 🙏🏼
but did they know about it at this point? I thought they were told by their daughter once she realised what was going on wasn't okay. I don't think their families would be fighting after finding this out if the third victim's parents knew from the beginning he was a pedophile.
@@vanessak6590 They must have known about the 1st time but maybe they thought he was redeemed or something also his wife was denying it so hard etc maybe some of the people were buying it. Idk .
i mean they moved places after the accusations concerning the first two girls, so maybe they didnt know right away and instead all the info spread once the third victim had the experiences and distanced herself from the family
I'm a man who was sexually abused between the ages of 12 and 15 by older boys and men. I have a mild form of DID, I think. I don't have alters but there are periods in my life that are blank. I can't remember them. These were times which I know were unbearably painful episodes, but I can't (and don't want to) remember them. Also, when anything unpleasant or pleasant happens to me I feel nothing. My instinctive reaction is to check out. Only later, do feelings start to seep in. If I have a success, I feel nothing. Years later, I might look back and feel something. When my mother died, I felt nothing until about 6 years later, when I was relaxed and in a safe place, and saw a photo of her and broke down. When my sister was murdered (at a hospital she was mistakenly sent to), I felt nothing. No anger. No grief. It took a year or more for these feelings to surface. It takes a long time to process emotions. Thank you for these amazingly helpful and informative interviews, They are invaluable. An odd thing: most of my relationships have been with girls who I later found out were sexually abused when they were children.
It's insane how someone could experience so much pain that their brain creates different people to help protect them from their emotions. I feel for all of these people
I was groomed and molested by my best friend’s dad starting at 13until around 15 maybe even 16.I never was able to ask my friend if he had ever done anything to her before I made sure they couldn’t contact me. But I continued to hide it from anyone until I was fully an adult. It took me so long to see it for what it was. I was groomed and molested. manipulated and taken advantage of for my very early but obvious drug problem. I used to think it was my fault, or that i wanted it, it was prostitution and I just wanted the drugs I got out of it. no, he knew exactly what he was doing. It’s really hard to talk about so this is, I mean it’s amazing how she tells her story.
im so proud of you for telling your story. you've been through so much and im so happy you're able to speak about it. this is so sad and i can't begin to imagine the pain and hurt you've been and are going thru. i love you so much stranger, you are amazing
She is so strong and so real for sharing her story. This kind of brainwashing takes such an immense psychological toll on a person in so many ways and I’m sure talking about it isn’t easy. I wish her peace and happiness as she moves forward in life, I hope she is okay & has a strong support system to help her moving forward ❤️ Dev, thank you for continuing to give individuals the platform to share their experiences & potentially help others ❤️ you’re doing really important work & are such an amazing support person & listener ❤️
Damn, i can only imagine the intensity of processing and fixing the trauma in her memories and emotions, i know a thing or two about that, but her particular case is sooooo. Much. Worse. I wish her all the love and the best life she could have!
i’m coming from a family of educators so i’m so furious at her parents. they are complete scum and terrible. it takes a certain level of narcissism and lack of empathy for her mom to ignore it so many times for so long with multiple children. i just- oh my god i’m so mad
While I obviously don’t agree with what the mum did but I can fully see why she wouldn’t want to lose her marriage, her career, her social standing and possibly lose her kids by believing and acting on what was going on. Spineless and exasperating that looking good to others was more important than her children’s safety.
@@averysneddon3038 Don't shush , shes not justifying shes showing what mental state some people are at that do fuckall when they see wrong. Also when a man is a violent narcissist no way he was not gaslighting manipulating the wife aswell.
The mother didn't care. I doubt she was remotely useful in her job either. The children spent so much time with her husband that she was forcing the children to sleep with him so she didn't have to while being financially compensated by whatever he provided for the household.
@@iSugarHeartImpossible to be manipulated when you are watching your husband abusing your children in your bed. There is no excuse for her behavior or thinking that went.on for decades. The mother even tried to prevent the children from being removed from their torture.smh.
One of the most profound things they said was towards the end, that being molested as a child, at the time, looked like love to them. It was presented to them as love and they didn't know any better. Incredibly interesting, I'm so glad people are willing to talk about this openly and educate others.
Incest is definitely one of those topics that is so tabboo. I feel like the idea of incest is seen as a 'joke' or something that is 'dirty' etc. When my closet friend told me that something happened with her, the main point she made sure of was that "i don't want you to think bad of my brother for this, he didn't know what he was doing". It makes total sense that incestuous abuse isnt oftern black and white, which can make victims blame themselves even more. If anything, it makes this absuse so much harder to recover from when its not clear what "counts" as abuse or not .
Thank you so much for sharing. This video gave me the courage to report my partner for possessing child abuse material (I found that day). There is no way that I would let him hurt our children. I took the step to get him out before anything could happen to them. Thank you so much for having the courage to share with us. You have changed lives by being so brave.
Sammy you did a amazing job explaining about what you went through. I’m sure there are so many people watching this and going through this but to afraid or ashamed to talk about it and hearing you come out with it will help them to feel safe telling what’s going on. Devorah again great job your podcast is amazing ❤️👌👍
As a single dad who literally had to move and uproot my entire life because my wife was putting my daughter in danger I can’t understand how people like her dad exist…that’s your daughter dude, you’re supposed to be willing to die for her, abuse like this should end up with them getting convicted, getting their appeals, then being pushed into an incinerator. Gross.
Not sure why this popped up on my feed, but grateful that it did. I was molested and raped by my mother and older sister from ages 10-17. It took me so long to learn that what was happening was wrong, and that I was being abused by the people who were supposed to love me. I didn't get therapy until 24, at 28 I attempted to "check myself out", and it took me until around 30 to finally heal somewhat. I turn 32 next month, haven't spoken to my family in over 8 years, and have never felt better. If this is happening to you, please know this... You didn't ask for it. You don't deserve it. You don't enjoy it. Tell a trusted adult, and protect yourself. You are not alone, and things WILL get better. You are so loved, and deserve to live a normal life. Keep your head up and don't stop until you are safe.
Damn, I wasn’t by family but a family friend and mentor figure I had for a long time. I don’t have timelines or days or even ages really, just pain and flashes unless I look at notes I never remember writing and from talks people tell me about.
You are so strong. I’m so proud of you for staying. I hope you are surrounded by nothing but healthy support and love, and that you are able to be kind to yourself on the hard days.
"there's always a time period where you pretend it didn't happen" as an abuse survivor as well I fucking FEEL this. It's the most true ugh I feel really herd by this episode (': thanks for sharing your story
It is. It's fascinating what your brain will do to protect itself. I was molested/raped by my brother for 8 years and I never developed DID (that I know of atleast).
the mind is an insane thing, the more we learn about it the more my mind is blown, DID is tragic but fascinating especially to show the lengths it will go to stop itself from being more damaged.
@@delulucyyy I agree. I was concerned my wording was misleading to my point here. I can't imagine living with such horrors. It just fascinates me, how the brain is still so powerful and unknown. ❤️
Her story has blown me away, she is incredibly strong. Her body adapted to her trauma in ways that she needed to cope - stuff that some people have no idea what its like to go through. She sounds like an incredibly strong human
i’ve never seen this channel or been into podcasts but i sat and watched the whole thing through and her story is so heart breaking, i’ve come from being groomed by people online growing up from the age of 12-15 and i’m so glad to see more people sharing their experiences and stories and making it known to the younger audience that these are the signs of abuse and that it isn’t love.
I love how the interviewer lady(I’m not sure what to title her) really let the person speak and agreed with her, didn’t deny her abuse, was so polite, allowed her to take her time, asked constructive questions. This is how podcasts and interviews on these subjects should be handled, it’s amazing so see there are still people who are this polite.
Your father was in prison for child molestation, he was a registered sex offender and yet he was allowed to come back to a home where children lived?!! He should never be allowed to see his or any children ever again, he’s a dangerous child predator! 🤦♀️ 8 months long sentence is a joke as well.
I rarely sit through full podcasts but this girl's story is heartbreaking and the way she presents and lays out the information and talks about her abuse is so beautifully done and I appreciate her sharing her story, it's beyond me on how she keeps her composure. It's so disgusting how the sweetest people end up being treated the worst. I hope peace will find her as time goes on
Just a small warning, please be careful in how you talk to your kids about this. When I started elementary school, my father sat me down to have a serious talk about stranger danger. He went to far because I changed for the worse after that. I became paranoid. Everyone became a suspect in my mind. I wouldn't even let my dad show affection afterwards. I became so withdrawn. I would have recurring nightmares of a kidnapper chasing me. The list goes on. Yes my father meant well and I would've never been the one to get kidnapped but he put a fear in me that I still haven't worked out. That day he had his talk with me, I felt my innocence got shattered. To know how dark this world can be is not easy for a child to handle. I fully support talking to your kids but pls be mindful how you tell them. Don't terrify them too much especially if they're already sensitive and fearful.
Totally agree. My mom told me many things of her own abuse while I was growing up that I never needed to know, especially at such a young age. No wonder I'm so paranoid of everyone and everything.
Thank you for sharing. It’s important to make kids at a certain age aware but we don’t need to scare and scar them. Too many think that putting horrible fear into a child will help but it doesn’t do any good you have to give them resources and things to say or do without all the bad details.
the reality is that your child is in more danger from a family member or family friend than a stranger. children need to be taught not to keep secrets with adults, or in general, and other personal safety like that. its absolutely life saving information.
@@sharonious666 in my particular case, my father was concerned about strangers because a girl in our neighborhood had been kidnapped while walking home from school. She had been graped, strangled with her tights and left in the forest by our home... he told me this all in detail before school👀... I was only 6 and was expected to also walk to and from school alone (it was normal back then)... Apparently he thought telling me would save me from any threats but all I could think was how? How can little me stop a grown man from taking me? I became obsessed afterwards. But i agree 💯 stats show that most abuse comes from someone in close contact not a stranger.
I love that she says “it wasn’t Sammy’s job to remember or take that on”. Adelaide is such a good protector! She takes on the memories of the abuse so Sammy doesn’t have to suffer.
As a fellow system and victimof incest, I'm so happy to see you got some sort of justice. My offender is so old now, they would probably keep him on house arrest.
Most people who actually have DID don't talk like this, because it's not something you can stand to be aware about. It's a red flag for me. Not saying she's fake, just that I personally know. It's most likely something people pick up from the trend side of disorders.
This is a perfect example why at some point there should be a system in place to regularly evaluate parents or anyone in a position of power psychological well being.
Your story is almost identical to me and my family’s. We just ended up with different disorders. You’re incredibly strong. Thank you for sharing. You got this
Her mom stayed with her dad even after the accusations?! It should be prosecutable to be a mother like that. Unbelievable. Also I thought it was illegal to have children in the same house as a child abuser?!? And the dad killed himself, what an absolute coward.
At least with him dead, he can't hurt anyone anymore. Which is the better option than him going to jail, getting out on good behavior and hurting more children.
I haven't watched this YET. I just wanted to share my story right now. I've been scared to reach out to a counselor or therapist or even watch videos/podcasts on the topic so bear with me lol. I was born in 2003 and he was born in 1996, I met him when I was 4 and he was 11. He was my stepbrother. I don't want to get to in depth about what he's done, but over time between the ages of 4 and 16, he tried multiple times to get me to sleep with him, he touched me, and he rubbed his genitalia on me countless times. I didn't really think anything of it at the time because of how long it was happening and how normal it was for him to do this to me. I finally spoke up about what he did when I was 17. I saw this man as my brother, not a stepbrother, my brother. After I told my parents everything my mother did not believe me while my stepfather, his biological father, believed me. Because of this, they invited him over to our home (while I was hiding in my room) to confront him to figure out the truth, but they never asked or tried bringing it up. (Like that would ever work in the first place). They ended up doing this 10 times in just a month after I told them. It was April 21st when I told them, and on May 20th I came out of my room to use the bathroom and saw him outside through the window before the bathroom. I ran to my room and started panicking and crying. That was the first time in months since I've seen him. In that moment I decided I had enough. I thankfully realized how much danger they kept putting me in and they showed me how much they truly don't care for me (growing up, my siblings and I went through hell because of our parents). I contacted my father and stepmother and told them I needed to move in with them asap. I ended up leaving the next morning, exactly a month after I told my mom and stepfather. April 20th, 2021, I had a dream about everything that man put me through, the first people I told was my dad and stepmother. If I didn't come out about what happened, I don't think I'd be alive. I haven't seen my mom since, I'm so thankful for my dad. He is seriously my fucking hero. Coming out about that abuse changed my life completely. I hated myself. I was so miserable and confused. Now I know and love me. Please save yourself if you get the chance, please take it.
unfortunately the frequency of stories like this makes me immediately cautious when somebody says they are christian. there is just so much covering up, protecting abusers, and generaitonal trauma. the more forward someone is with proselytizing, the faster i'm repelled away. it's like they are compensating so hard for something bad inside of them.
Once the stuff about all the abuse in the Catholic Church in Australia came out. I gave up on it. I would never willingly go back in one except out of respect for events. Like weddings and funerals.
agreed, I never realized how common it is and, of course, the shame associated with it is enormous so why would most victims speak up? society would shame them to death and blame them, instead of the abuser
@@miserabletrythat’s so bad. It’s causing generational trauma . And trauma is what is ruining the world, in my opinion. Broken people repeating cycles or killing themselves with substances to numb. Something’s gotta change.
You are so on the money when you said you are emotionally intelligent. Your unapologetic tone when relaying this story is unbelievable. My biggest pet peeve from my personal trauma is anyone who pretends like shit doesn't hurt, shit didn't happen, or shit always needs to be coated in sugar. You are the epitome of what I hope to be in my personal healing journey. Your story was incredibly upsetting, but to know there was such tangible healing gives me hope for humanity. Thank you for sharing your story.
The worst part of these stories of abuse is when the abuser takes themselves out. Not only did the system fail these kids and her, this man should have been under the jail on the first round of abuse. Horrible.
Nothing gets me angrier than cowards who ruin many many lives intentionally with no second thoughts but freak out when things go bad for THEM because of what they did. This will live with his victims forever, and he took the easy way out so he didn't have to deal with it himself. absolutely spineless
I came back and listened again. I’m here for the third time, actually. My trauma had me thinking I was the ‘only one’ again because *no one* speaks on this. Thank you.
I do like hearing victims being jelous or wanting to be with the abuser because it makes me feel better about my grooming. I was so jelous and wanted him all to myself even if it didnt feel completely right.
The minds ability to protect is incredible. I lost my little sister to cancer and to this day cannot recall 1 week and a half of my life before she passed. In my mind I can only recall 2 separate days and only the 2 separate moments with her. I miss her so much❤️❤️❤
This story is insane to how close it is to mine. Even to the phone call, I had to also call my step dad and he was out of town knowing he was going to be f’d . Even to the going to cosmetology school, I couldn’t drive , everything you said was exactly the same . It’s going on 10 years since I’ve seen my mom. Much peace and strength to you love. The healing is forever.❤
Out early on good behaviour ? Not abusing any kids in a jail full of adults ?! And then being allowed to go home and live with his kids . The constant failings are insane .
The fact that being let out on “good behavior” is a thing is actually insane. Yeah, they’re in a prison surrounded by cops, of course they’re gonna behave. Also the fact that cps never investigated the household despite the fact he had young daughters. Even if they did investigate, clearly they were not thorough about it.
I am also a survivor of incest. My trauma manifested differently. I have a lot of false memories rather than gaps, but it still causes a lot of distress to think about.
This interview is very important because it details a key aspect of CSA that many don’t want to confront because it’s so disturbing to reckon with. With these kinds of situations where abuse went on for years, people who don’t understand how CSA works will often say, how did they get away with it for so long? Why didn’t the child tell anyone? The fact is that in a lot of instances, the abuser will make the child feel like they are a willing, enthusiastic participant in what’s going on. That they want it. This can be one of the most damaging aspects psychologically when healing from the abuse. As a side note, Devorah, I hope that you are able to access your own psychological support when doing this work. Vicarious trauma is very real, I hope you can look after yourself.
Not all parents deserve good kids, but all kids deserve good parents. This event is very relatable to me and it's so painful to hear what she's been through. Sending lots of love
This played as a recommended video and I decided to let it play. This was a very informative video. She is so brave and communicated so well. Thank you for giving her a platform and letting her tell her story.
I feel like 95% of the time when this happens the mother is almost just as much to blame. They are always fully aware something is going on or find out sooner rather than later. You can't live in close proximity and not notice that. Some women are stuck being abused and are too afraid. But many are just looking the other way and resenting their child instead for "stealing their husband"
I find it interesting that she doesn’t even realize that it wasn’t that she just wanted the special attention, she subconsciously feared being physically abused as well. He taught her that you get hurt really bad for small things (punched for singing bad), so she wouldn’t dare talk back or reject him because she most likely feared her life, without even realizing.
With that being said, I’m impressed how far she’s come because she’s been through a lot and it takes a lot to do what she did. I hope the best for her.
Pedophiles shouldn’t be able to get out early based on good behaviour
Of course they’re behaving well in prison, there’s no children there for them to traumatize
?? I’ll never understand it
Literally!!!!!
I had the exact same thought. Like, of course he'd be on good behaviour, there aren't any children to be a menace around.
And pedos said themselves they can’t be changed
I'm surprised the other inmates didn't k*ll him cause they despise pedos more than anything
Ikr??😵😡🤯
the system failed her, her mother failed her, her family failed her, everyone failed her. when is this going to stop! as a mother, i’m sickened beyond belief.
It’s never going to stop. But they do need to increase the jail time for these crimes, and consider them the same punishments as murderers get
@@missld6856no I don't think so it's not as bad as murder
@@diltberg9627 If you consider how many people kill themselves as adults due to being sexually abused as a child/ the effects it has on people it basically ruins their whole life the trauma just think they need to increase the penalty. I know a man in my town that got only 1 year from 11 charges of “penetration of a child under ten years old and with objects too” he was released and showed up at my gym giving my friends daughter in the lounge a Barbie doll! WTF! His name is Frank vierra dude should have been lynched. Imagine the kid that got “penetrated” by him ruined thier life forver
@@diltberg9627 yes. It is.
@@diltberg9627 things like this stick with you forever. It’s terrible
Seeing how empathetic and kind she talks about her mother makes me furious about how a mother could just allow their child to be abused this way
Coping mechanism...
RIGHT!?! My mom didn't do anything and denies she remembers anything. Self preservation is too important
Literally I would have gone to jail 😔
Most of us who have been through this were parentified children and did so much to protect our mothers. Even if they completely failed to protect us. I'm 47 and I still protect my mom.
I think she has spent a lot of time trying to understand her mother's actions and what she must have been thinking and feeling in order to ignore the abuse. Understanding who someone is and why they did what they did doesn't mean you forgive them though.
My father raped and SAed me for years and I remember feeling so ashamed and alone. I would search for videos like this just so that I could know that I wasn’t alone. This video would’ve been so helpful. Thank you sharing your story
Were you ever angry? I experienced SA by my father too and I internalized my anger after my mom said it could have been worse.
@@sweet2sourrWTF
Hearing these stories are trigger and helpful for me. I moved out of my family's house at 17, due to emotional abuse and sexual abuse. I'm glad there is information out there to help all of us know we are not alone. Thanks for leaving your story here ❤
i hope you're doing well
Same here. I went to counseling after my mom knew about it
the way her mom said "love can prevail" while she herself proved that wrong by abandoning her own daughter to be treated that way is insane
It makes one think that this was due to JEALOUSY! The mom was jealous of her husband being attracted to her own daughter. This is the so extremely sick that is unfathomable 🤮
@@carriebell3566unfortunately this happens to a lot more of the wives in this situation than one would like to think
@@carriebell3566 It’s actually quite common and, unfortunately, underreported.
@@carriebell3566 that happens very often even during pregnancy
Most humans are extremely delusional
"Tell me if I'm jumping ahead" that's so nice. I wish more podcast/reporters would be so considerate. You want someone to tell their story, let them tell it.
This did it for me too!! Especially bc she has her lil notes and I loved that
I caught that too, incredible professional I was impressed.
The interviewer is extremely good at what she does. I'm very impressed by this channel
Yeah, let me pet my pussycat while I sit here and listen to you.
@juno 5star surviving incest
I spent more time in jail than this man for prescription fraud. What a messed up system. She is so brave and well spoken. I appreciate her sharing this heartbreaking story❤
Can you elaborate on prescription fraud?
@@macadelicmandyWhat does it matter? Prescription fraud isn’t hurting someone else but yourself. Molesting a child can change their entire life…. Less than 1 year for completely destroying 2 lives is ridiculous…
@M Everly yupp i would agree?? What's so wrong with asking someone for the definition on the crime??
@macadelicmandy I'm not sure why these people are getting so defensive and triggered over you asking the definition of a term. They seem....unstable.
That said, to put it simply it's when an individual fakes/forges a prescription in order to obtain or distribute controlled substances.
@@macadelicmandy Prescription drug fraud can take many forms. The most common tactics are to forge or alter a prescription, to doctor shop, and to phone in fraudulent prescriptions posing as a doctor's office employee. Theft of prescription pads is also common. Forging prescriptions.
Incest needs to be talked about more. The stigma and shame keeps victims silent and therefore trapped in trauma.
There is a general stigma around trama
you mean pedophilia/molestation right?
Ah okay, time to normalise it then.
Leftist logic.
people speak about it as if it’s some historical thing or only occurs in the south but soooo much of SA happens within the home therefor so much is incest
Enabling is a disease in itself - and rooted in selfishness.
"To me, it looked like love." Just horrifying. This person is so brave to be talking about this so openly to God knows how many people.
She's incredibly brave! I'm so thankful to her, bc this podcast is what slapped me out of denial of what happened to me(& my sisters, cousins). I sent my little sister this podcast & told her almost everything I know about our childhood. Without this pod & Sammy's bravery, I wouldn't have had this realization & the courage myself to confront & share my trauma.
Thank you, Sammy & system 🥲🙏🏻❤
I agree. It takes so much acceptance of what happened to you to tell this story. I dont know if I would ever go public with this if this happened to me.
she liked it
@@RosefMudson1414 Sick bait bro
it's not a bait. she didn't decide she didn't like it until later in life lol@@aimeekatz
I was abused by my female cousins. If you feel like something is wrong, PLEASE talk to someone, anyone. It took me over a decade to realize that I had been molested and will take even longer for me to feel like I’ve healed at all.
I relate babe ❤ youre not alone
"anyone" isn't a solution, some people just refuse to face reality because it's too harsh. My own mother didn't believe me
hey... my cousins always made me play "house" with them when im reality they were having sex with me. i was so little. my therapist told me "that's just how kids play"....
@@jennafuc3319 thats fucked up, im proud of you for speaking about this to an adult, i hope youre safe now
@@jennafuc3319I've been told that too... if it feels wrong, than its wrong to you. Some kids take advantage of other for their own pleasure and "curiosity " (I was always told they werebjust curious kids) and it's not your fault! It isn't normal. Now that we know that we can protect children better.
My step father abused me my entire life and then stole my car and gassed himself when I told the police. My mum kicked me out of home bc of the resentment she had for me ‘fucking her husband’. No one believes me when I tell the story… it’s good to hear a scarily similar story and not feel alone xxx
It was a week after my 17th birthday he killed himself. The week prior he cornered me in our kitchen and said I was finally allowed to tell, because he was so depressed due to the fact I had recently got a boyfriend and that he was planning on killing himself. I thought he was bluffing so I told my mum who didn’t believe me at first, despite the fact he had told my mother he watched CP, and multiple other family members coming forward to tell her that he had attempted to molest their kids. He was banned from family events and my mother kept him in the house and stood by him while he physically and emotionally abused her as well. Her and I have a broken relationship sometimes it is better sometimes worse.
I believe you & wish you healing, that's absolutely awful 😢
I believe you too. That's fucking awful.
@@kirakoraawesome thank you guys 🙏 I remember just randomly telling a man I worked with at the poultry processing plant I worked my story, just for a laugh to see his reaction, as he was brought up in a war torn country, and asked what it was like growing up in Australia. So I told him exactly what it was like for me! He just shook his head and said No way that’s not true. You need to respect your mother blah blah blah. Ok mister 😅
I’ve had people gossip and my ‘friends’ tell my story for me without permission, only to have random sticky beaks come up to me in public saying ‘THAT DIDNT REALLY HAPPEN TO YOU RIGHT?’
Hahaha all I can do is a laugh or cry.
I sent my mum MC disturbance (allday) - diss track to my step dad mark to my mother on the anniversary, as his name was mark, let’s just say she wasn’t happy 😃
His name was also mark for context.
DID is so stigmatized. it’s an extreme defense mechanism to protect from severe trauma, usually from childhood. these kind of videos on DID is so important to share
Also doesn’t help with influencers doing interviews like “turning it on”
Facts. And this woman is so sweet and down to earth, even discussing all of the awful shit that she went through, and the aftermath.
100% agree. I did an extremely extensive research paper on DID and there is so much the public could learn about it. There are so many misconceptions about it, it’s actually very sad.
It’s not just stigmatized, it’s glamorized by social media which is why people think it’s a fake disorder
@@lunarialoonatic facts
I love how she describes DID as "the people that take care of her in her head."
💚
Right 😔
It's not something she is proud of
@@nikemaraje5 I feel it's more so about the fact she doesn't feel ashamed and can look at it in a healthy way. That's key! 😊
She understands how they formed as a self defense mechanism, and tries to be grateful for that 🙂
Oh so that's how I ended up being recommended this, you know I didn't actually believe/know DID actually truly existed. This...brings up some rather interesting, and uncomfortable, questions about intelligence agencies, The Finders, and ritual abuse. It also infuriates me beyond belief the controlled opposition of Qtards hijacked that.
Ya know I always associated peodiphile with my father after I came to terms with him raping me as a child.. but honestly after watching this conversation it's only just now occurred to me that that is considered incest.. that I am a survivor of incest.. crazy how even years after traumatic incidents, you get these sudden bursts of realisations that completely change the way you view those incidents
Hope you're doing well
Just had the same realization about what my brother did to me. He was an adult, I was a child- it was not child on child sa
No, he it's both pedophilia and incest.
Right 😞
i feel this a lot. it's not nearly on the same level, but i was an adult before i realized i was sexually harassed and groomed by an older man when i was 11 years old. i just pushed the memories away and never thought about them because my family made me feel so ashamed.
I will never understand a mother who tells their child they're lying about being abused, let alone by their own father. Putting myself in their shoes, I imagine I would go to jail for murdering my husband after hearing that. It's absolutely disgusting to silence your own flesh and blood.
It happened to my next door neighbor, she was 10 at the time and her parents were separated because her mom cheated on her dad with border patrols. Two of the border patrol officers sexually abused my friend and one time we were over at his house and she was not in the living room with the rest of us. All of a sudden she came out and I asked her where she had been and she said, "He wanted to take pictures of me in the bathroom."
it happened to my friends brother, his cousin claimed he did after he went to jail they came out and said it wasnt true. not everything is true but the damage to the person that got accused will always be there.
@@Najasoh I'm sorry, but why did you feel that was necessary to comment on a video where the victim is telling the truth?
@@jayofthedeadd im not allowed to comment on your video about what ive seen in life? thats crazy.
@@Najasoh It's not my video and I never said you can't lol. I'm just asking why because I find it insensitive and pointless.
I can’t believe he was a CHILD MOLESTER CONVICTED AND ON THE REGISTRY AND THEY STILL LET HIM LIVE WITH CHILDREN
It’s just insane how the system doesn’t take this types of crimes seriously; what were they thinking
That's the thing, the system doesn't think.
it’s because the system is made up of people who commit crimes like these
@@cinnamondewdrops turns out most of the people fighting to keep certain systems in place benefit from them. Huge shocker
You’d be surprised how common this is.
The Government is SHAMEFUL and the legal system is indecent and shameful
How absolutely horrific… her mother 100% knew and should be in prison.
Right, the mother should be in prison for enabling a child rapist and child abuser.
Endangering her own children
Yes she's probably totally deranged and mentally sick as well and probably abused herself in some ways, at least mentally, because she was obv totally co-dependent but still jail time would serve her well
my mum knew as well and she denied it ever happened and made me feel like crap for it. My abuser was my brother
god fucking damn
100% worth watching their whole story for this-
"If somebody would just say something, you know what I mean? If adults would just be like, 'hey, this is what being molested looks like', because to me, it looked like love."
AND THIS IS WHY WE NEED PUBLIC SEX EDUCATION STARTING AT A YOUNG AGE. You cannot always trust guardians to teach their kids from right & wrong.
Yet Pedos throw gay people under the bus as if THEY are the danger to society.
besides ignorance, this is 100% why people don't want sex ed taught to kids! kids who are educated on their anatomy, consent, and what is appropriate are far more likely to recognize & report abuse and it's more likely that their abuser is convicted. predators don't want kids educated so they're easier to abuse
But rightists be like: keep em ignorant as long as possible lmao
Absolutely
This is exactly what I was thinking! Children need to be educated on what abuse looks like so that they have the tools to speak up in these very disturbing and heartbreaking situations.
Her mother COULD see everything, she pretended she couldn't bc the dad is the priority. She did not care about her kids. Gross narcissistic, abusive pedophiles. Yuck.
Same thing my mom did. She always bragged about how she never beat her kids but would watch my father beat us until we had scars. Also bragged how she came to our rooms every single night to make sure we were sleeping safe but somehow did not bump into my father once and catch him sexually abusing me in my sleep… then she gave him full custody of my little siblings and now calls herself a counselor and therapist for other girls my age and uses my abuse story which I never gave her permission to do. She’s giving other girls the help she should have given me but all she cares about is herself
@@Mrsmorbid JESUS. she sounds histrionic/narcissistic af tbh.
Like my mom. She said basically it could have been worse
As an incest survivor and mom it is so hard to know for sure id toure paranoid or your own husband violated your child. Rage and heart break denial... I have him under supervised visits set up and do not know the truth ... I'm doing my best .... It's all so confusing and overwhelming
@@MrsmorbidProtest outside wherever she is working. I wouldn't rest until everyone knew what they did or didn't do.
On behalf of all incest survivors, thanks for telling your story.
Incredibly courageous, it’s so very embarrassing/shameful to live with.
Agreed
I love how the cat jumps up on the table when the conversation starts getting more and more intense. Plus the smile she’d get when the cat jumped up - I love animals.
Best podcast I’ve seen so far this year.
Same!
I think more podcasts/interview shows should have emotional support cats
i wonder if they can somehow smell our stress hormones or something?
right they definately 100 % sense or feel it in some way , im not sure exactly the sensing ability that is used. as im sure you know dogs can also do this, dogs can sense even before something medical or life threatning happens in quite a few instances i would assume a cat is just as capable to catch some those fishy issues before it even really happens too . animals just know , call it their own little type of gut feelng or a sixth sense perhaps?
His little cute paws 🐾 😍
They way they let this man go free and just allowed him to continue abusing her and her siblings is so sickening. 8 months???????? EIGHT MONTHS?????? How is this possible why are we allowing our legal system to be this way?? We need to do smth
It's disgusting!!
Because in the legal system there are also sickening people. The big leaders in generally are sick basterds. History will always repeat.. It is what it is, the question is when will the authorities change? Really for the better? Over the fucking world, you really don't want to know how soft the system in the Netherlands is.. it will break your heart.. also the question what does the people generally think about what is the best punishment is about this subject.. over the world. People aren't honest then..
My dad got away with doing that to my oldest sister as well. American justice system protects these predators
When u look at the maximum sentencing range for sex crimes in every state, u will see exactly why. Society earlier believed those abusers could be rehabilitated. But let’s get real, our institutions were never intent on rehabilitating anyone. We should’ve always had rehabilitation centers and few actual prison jails. Until then, nobody’s safe and offenders will reoffend and many of the abused become offenders themselves. Across all boards.
Wait until you hear about Andrea Serrano. A 31 yr old teacher who got pregnant after abusing her 13 yr old student. She's not facing any jail time and kept the child. There's a probability she'll be asking him for child support.
i never finish youtube videos ever, specially hour long podcasts, but i feel like i almost didnt blink watching this one. The way this girl digested her horror story and articulated it is absolutely amazing. She tells it like someone who has told it many times before and doesnt hold blame for what happened, which is the place everyone who have been abused wants to get to. What an amazing, brave and intelligent human being. She deserves all true and unconditional love there is.
This!!!!
I play them at 2x
this!!!
I'm a victim of incest myself (specifically COCSA) and it's such a weight to carry. I've never told my family, probably never will, and it hurts a lot. I'm glad to see this being spoken about. I don't have DID so I can't speak on that, but my heart goes out to all victims of incest and sexual abuse in general. It is an incredibly scary and confusing thing to go through.
if your a minor, and still in danger of harm, please tell someone. i really hope your safe
@@MondayTurtle thank you so much :) I'm not currently in danger, but I still really do appreciate your kindness. i have informed someone of what happened but didn't say who specifically
@@fraisemouse ok! im so glad you have someone who knows and that you are currently safe. :)
ik im just some random stranger on the internet but seeing stuff like this really gets to me.
have you ever been assessed for DID or PTSD? Might be important or a good step for healing, when you can.
@@nellieshoals i have never been formally assessed for either, though i do suspect that i may show signs of having PTSD. ill look into getting assessed for it :) thank you for your concern ❤️
The mother absolutely knew what was going on, she just didn’t care. She deserves to be in prison too.
same with mine. i was 13 when i told her and she called me a liar. like bruh, what motive would a 13 year old have to lie about abuse that had been going on for years? it's baffling.
Fr. She didn’t believe because believing would have shattered her whole life.
@@AgentFulgoreBasedDepartmentfr wtf so sorry that happened to you tho :((
"Your abuser is not worth your sanity. If you feel like you need them, take a picture and leave." I feel this. Taking pictures before throwing away items associated with them helps to actually get the items out of the house, too. Thank you both.
Didn’t know I needed this advice.
thank you
@@caramelapplejollyrancher I'm still working on this! I totally forgot about this comment and just this week I've been focusing on getting more out.
@@saladbunny5884 I'm still working on this! I totally forgot about this comment and just this week I've been focusing on getting more out.
This podcast is so cool, it shines lights on topic that are normally only discussed in the news or educational ted talk or something. This is such a breath of fresh air. Keep up the good work girl
I honestly think incest is such a taboo subject it’s not even talked about in the news or ted talks
@@Rawannni yes, my parents never wanted to talk about it and it became a very sensitive topic surrounding my family. I wish more people spoke up bc the more light that gets shined, the more lives can be saved.
I love how you get right to the point and let your guests tell their story. No BS opener, just straight to the point. And I LOVE the beautiful cat jumping up to help break the intense emotions of these stories. Animals are amazing. This story was wow. This is one strong woman
I was also molested by my dad as a child. He legitimately thought we were in a relationship because I was one of the “I wanna marry dad” types of little girls. When years later I, ironically, discovered the manosphere at 10 I took the advice they intended for men for myself and it gave me the strength to put him in his place enough that he never touched me again. He did however spend the rest of that week seething because I “broke up with him”. People who commit incest are absolutely sick.
That is a horrible thing to go through. I hope things have gotten better.
This is so gross. Children don't know better and yet a grown man can't act accordingly to his age but take advantages of their innocent words.
I wonder if you aged out of his target range
As a mom I don't understand. I was never sexually abused but physically and mentally. I remember crying to my mom in 4th grade and she said "I am staying, I can't make it alone without him" and made me continue to live with the abuse for years until I was able to escape and live with my biological dad in 8th grade.
Same. I will Never let anyone lay a hand on my child. And I will never forgive my mother even after therapy and 25 years. Move on yes but forgive? Absolutely Not
At that point why don't these women allow you to go with your biological father sooner if it's becomes public knowledge. 😢
@@meggiemegggs Never forgive. Ever.
My mom literally told me and my siblings the same thing: "I can't survive without him"
And now her children are adults with yrs of trauma, mental issues, and anger directed at her for choosing to stay when she was, at the very least, financially capable of surviving without him.
@@fllowerknight very true! 😢
There’s no way her mom didn’t know .. whether she wanted to believe it or not .. she knew and she failed her
I think her mother was probably another victim. it wouldn't be the first time wives do this kind of thing, especially religious ones. She's was fucked up in the head. Definitely failed her kids, definitely guilty, but I would like to listen to her if one day if she ever has the mental capacity to admit that she knew
@Yinn's Yard yeah we have to realize that the mom was a fully fleshed out person themselves. Doesn't excuse her actions, they were just probably in such deep denial about the situation & hoping they could fix the father with love etc. There's layers to this stuff is what I mean
@@Ferreneh ya obv but still got a duty of care!
@@joycecardinot9284 come on what an absolute cop out! As a mother your number one job is to protect your children, religion has alot to do with it for sure. But victim this woman is not.
@@clairelicciardo6198 We don't know her mental state to go in such deep denial. We don't know what this psycho pedophile did to her, we also don't know her background. I said she *probably* was another victim, I don't know for sure and probably never will. This is not to say that she shouldn't be held accountable, but something must have happened to her. I would listen to her with the benefit of the doubt, and some compassion, until she proved me wrong. But you don't have to share my opinion, I have my reasons.
That was not ignorance. The mother chose to ignore the abuse. In reality, she participated by allowing the abuse.
Denial
My uncle sexually abused me 2 years ago. I was 15 and, it took 2 years to go through the trial. I’m from the UK and, my abuser got sentenced to 20 months… 10 months on good behaviour. And as much as I am so great full for the work the police did for me, im now sat her counting down the days until the 27th of December this year. 10 months from his sentencing. I only came forward for the sake of his younger daughter, my cousin. And her mum, doesn’t believe me at all. And I hate that she is more than willingly letting him around his daughter when he gets out, and this story has terrified me even more. I am so proud of this girl to speak about her story, she is so brave. Xx
I hope you’re doing okay
I’m in the uk too My dad did the same I never told anyone I’m his oldest child I got 6 brothers and sisters yikes
@@hami.cushiteQueen I'm so so sorry to hear that, I hope one day you can get justice and find healing for yourself 🫂❤️ please take care!
I would put large signs outside their home with their picture telling his story.
I don’t know how it works in the UK, but you should go after a civil suit too, either now or once he’s out. In the US, most attorneys who specialize in these cases will do it on contingency so they only get paid if you win. You deserve more justice than just a bullshit prison sentence. If you feel you have ptsd or any other mental health conditions as a result, getting a formal diagnosis prior to legal action can help a ton. I’m currently in the middle of a law suit against my father for my CSA
i was sexually abused by my own biological father for years throughout my childhood. and the scary thought is the things he probably did to me as a child that i dont even remember. i finally told someone when i was 11 years old. and hearing this young lady talk about her experience like this means the absolute world. ive searched for videos like this of people going though similar things as a young child. and i know its very common but you dont really find people that go in depth with the feelings and life long issues that come from this type of trauma. i grew up with predators. and unfortunately it was my own family. but the fact one of these people was my own father is such a scary thing to open up about. because i know that something like this is such a sensitive topic and hard to understand. and that's understandable. my father got locked up for 5 years when we was supposed to serve 8 years. he was supposed to get out when i turn 18 but got early release. my point is, im so greatful to hear this girls story. im 17 years old now and ive come such a long long way and im still recovering from unwanted trauma. thank you for opening up your story for girls like me. you are a hero in my eyes. and ill forever remember this.
Your strength is apparent. Sending you love from a stranger ❤
I feel like this stuff will get even worse thanks to pornography. The incest category is very popular and that tied in with the current manosphere preachings I can safely say that all men are a potential threat to children. Purity culture and societies obsession with the concept of virginity are also culprits
Has he tried to contact you? I hope you’re safe and healing from that. ❤
mostly every women I know were moleste and groomed. Most sexualized their trauma with reenactment and CNC of their childhood. it is very common and promiscuity can be therapeutic
As someone who is now 31 and was molested by his mother and older sister from 10-17, I'm both sorry this happened to you, but grateful you are able to explore getting help this early in life. I didn't start therapy until 24, and it took until probably 29 or 30 for me to really heal. We are not what happened to us, and we are not alone. Keep your head up and keep pushing forward. You got this Alexis.
It’s insane that she missed that much school and nobody looked into it. And the power of grooming that she was in the mindset to never tell anyone and see it as a bonding thing. I’m glad the friend was brave and said something. We need to teach our kids even charismatic ppl will push your boundaries cuz how it happened multiple times to get friend and her friend didn’t say anything for a bit is tragic. And the mom was vile as well. The system (being interviewed) is so amazing and I wish the best for them.
I will never understand why people are let out on good behavior, especially for crimes like this. You are in prison because you are a danger to society! It's a punishment!
I get being released for good behaviour in some cases, like for posession of drugs like marijuana or for some minor theft. Especially if those are first time offenses. But for CHILD MOLESTATION?????????
ESP for crimes like this! Of course he was well behaved. There wasn’t any kids to assault!!! !
@@frozenyogurth I agree I think that any crime involving the malicious harm of others should not be able to get out on good behavior, they are sick and need help while some will never change because there’s no time limit to being a pedophile it doesn’t just stop after serving 1 month
It's because in America the prisons are absolutely flooded with people in prison for non violent drug offences, mostly just possession for personal use, so there isn't space to keep the people who actually should be in prison in prison
it drives me crazy that one person alone can’t make change. how long till the people ban together to help dismantle this useless system
she's incredibly strong. what made me sad was hearing her say she had an adult brain/was an old soul which is another form of grooming/manipulation by abusers
Abusers truly capitalize on childhood trauma... I had a different upbringing and went to a therapist at 11yo, thinking I was above everyone else because I was SO aware. Kids who are patentified or have to emotionally mature faster due to trauma can seem like "old souls", which causes people (and prdtrs) to say they're "mature for their age". Makes for easier targets later on
@@Ferreneh I had this happen to me a lot as a child. People in AA/Al-Anon (because my parents were at least trying--even though I also experienced watered-down incest) who were trying to heal from their own life traumas would look at me and say "she's so mature for her age." Girl I was traumatized 🤣😂 I feel like those people were saying that because they could sense that. They'd always lock eyes with me with a wise/nurturing attitude, so I feel like there's other subtexts to it.
Having been abused as a child and a past relationship, I totally sympathize with her struggles with sex now. In my current relationship I often assume he wants me to do stuff and he'll literally tell me "it's okay, we're just relaxing. nothing crazy." and I'm like oh? and I have to not feel offended. It's really weird.
I relate so much. Like I’m 18 now but I’ve never been in a relationship ever. Never kissed anyone, nothing. Bc if I ever get close to intimacy even as small as a hand hold, I’m like “it’s coming” and I get scared and back away. Even if my dream person, my biggest crush ever, asked me out I’d turn them down because of this fear. I hate living like this. I’m so happy you are in a safe and healthy relationship and I wish we never experienced this stuff.
i always get so unexplainably upset when he denies advances even though I wasn't even super feeling motivated in the first place, just feels like I should, I get you
I was sexually abused as a child by another child, a few teenagers, and an adult neighbor. to this day, I don't understand why or how I was put in those situations. I always put the blame on myself because I was the common denominator. I struggled with being overly sexual growing up, after these incidents, and with being promiscuous. Now sex is very complicated and, quite honestly, I hate it. the pendulum has swung. cptsd and bpd are a wild ride.
I 100% agree and understand what that feels like. You’re not alone and it takes a lot of work to get to a better psychological place with it. It’s so much more tied to complete trust too.
I relate so strongly to her story. I was also molested by my biological father when I was little. I too remember feeling offended and jealous when I noticed him grooming my friends. I didn't know what grooming was at that age but I did know that he only acted like that around me. He would have this laser focus on the child he was grooming which meant that I became invisible the moment he was interacting with them, and I was used to being the only special one so that was very upsetting. I've lived with so much guilt over the years and felt disgusted with myself for the way I thought and acted back then. I was just an innocent child and I know it wasn't my fault, but 15 years later I still feel disgusted with myself at times. At least he's dead now, which was honestly the best thing that could have happened for my mental health. But I regret never going to the police.
🤍 You are safe now. You are absolutely allowed to let go of the weight you have carried.
🤍🤍🤍Sending love
same, about feeling jealous once my molester moved on. it’s really difficult to say, since people have this image of a csa victim, and unless you fit into it, you might feel gross. i was so little though. :( also, don’t feel too bad. you were just a kid. you had no choice over what they did to you, and let alone, the support around to help you decide what to do. internet hug
@@el-topo internet hug back ❤️
You did the best you could do with what you had in you back then. You can say your best was shitty and it is arguable, but I really believe you did your best. No reason to feel guilty now. If you were able to do better, you would have, I'm sure of that. Besides, the fact that you realize that now instead of remaining in denial is exactly what makes you a better person now, and deserving of self-forgiving.
I am so terrified of someone molesting my child multiple times a year we have a talk about what type of things are not okay. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your story. I’ve learned a lot about the disorder from you, and how the brain handles trauma that has helped me understand how my brain operates
i’m glad i’m not the only one terrified and has constant conversation about bodies and boundaries, what’s not okay and that it’s okay to talk to me. she’s only 4 but this world is scary.
Same. I talk to my 6 year old about it. (I don't use vulgar words or anything) just talk to her on her level. It's so sad and horrible that I even feel like I need to at all.
Same. And the most important thing to tell them is that, no matter what someone says about how they’ll get in trouble or they can’t tell anyone or anything like that, it’s absolute BS and you should always tell mom immediately no matter what.
I dont have kids, but i have a niece that i would simply die for. And even as an aunt i get terrified at just the thought of it… i cant even imagine how it must be like for a parent, a mom. 😢
@@MK-Hogan The vast majority of the time it's not 'stranger danger' -- it's someone the mom knows and trusts.
I love how dev has created such a safe space for people to open up about such serious issues! ❤
It really is her huh? Didnt even realize in the begging! I completely agree!
When she said her mom walked in more than once and saw them in bed, that broke me. He wasn't even hiding it. How did that not shock her back to reality?
Her ability to be so eloquent about her trauma is incredible. It's so hard to share these things coherently, especially when your memory is fragmented. I couldn't do what she did in this interview. What a brave and beautiful soul.
I was abused by my dad, and he would say he was going to kill himself so often, it pretty much became small talk. He would say "make sure you give me a hug in case I'm dead tomorrow" or "Don't be shocked if you find my body in the morning". I remember I finally just had it and yelled at him "well are you going to do it or not?!" and both he and my mom were so taken aback that I said that. But I was so sick of the abuse and I just felt like I would have relief if he was gone. He never ended up committing suicide, but its just insane how often I hear threats of suicide are used by parents to their children.
Sounds kinda similar to mum. Later I learned it was ‘emotional incest’. Very disturbing to process
Being told to clean your room is not abuse.
@@zollyy babe I’m sososo sorry but no one said it was❓
I resonated with her stating that for years of her life, she completely forgot her trauma. Throughout most of my adolescence after the abuse, I remembered nothing. I remembered everything this year and it was insane.
Same
going thru this now ❤❤
@@MHUKTI Wishing you well! You can get through this.
@@ejfromthea I'm proud of you for making it through! Wishing you well.
When life gives u the final slap of reality.. it get’s better 🙏🏼 keep healing 🙏🏼 now, your mind feels safe enough to finally feel and remember those hard to deal with memories and feelings .. it’s a step forward in the right direction, even if it doesn’t look like it for now, trust it 🙏🏼
How do you allow your child to go to sleep overs at a pedophiles house? The third victim situation is so crazy to me.
Religious families she said.
but did they know about it at this point? I thought they were told by their daughter once she realised what was going on wasn't okay. I don't think their families would be fighting after finding this out if the third victim's parents knew from the beginning he was a pedophile.
@@vanessak6590 They must have known about the 1st time but maybe they thought he was redeemed or something also his wife was denying it so hard etc maybe some of the people were buying it. Idk .
they probably didn't know for awhile
i mean they moved places after the accusations concerning the first two girls, so maybe they didnt know right away and instead all the info spread once the third victim had the experiences and distanced herself from the family
This was probably one of the most enthralling interviews I’ve ever heard. Her ability to process and articulate all this trauma is absolutely amazing.
I'm a man who was sexually abused between the ages of 12 and 15 by older boys and men. I have a mild form of DID, I think. I don't have alters but there are periods in my life that are blank. I can't remember them. These were times which I know were unbearably painful episodes, but I can't (and don't want to) remember them. Also, when anything unpleasant or pleasant happens to me I feel nothing. My instinctive reaction is to check out. Only later, do feelings start to seep in. If I have a success, I feel nothing. Years later, I might look back and feel something. When my mother died, I felt nothing until about 6 years later, when I was relaxed and in a safe place, and saw a photo of her and broke down. When my sister was murdered (at a hospital she was mistakenly sent to), I felt nothing. No anger. No grief. It took a year or more for these feelings to surface. It takes a long time to process emotions. Thank you for these amazingly helpful and informative interviews, They are invaluable. An odd thing: most of my relationships have been with girls who I later found out were sexually abused when they were children.
Compassion to you and your healing process
It's insane how someone could experience so much pain that their brain creates different people to help protect them from their emotions. I feel for all of these people
I was groomed and molested by my best friend’s dad starting at 13until around 15 maybe even 16.I never was able to ask my friend if he had ever done anything to her before I made sure they couldn’t contact me. But I continued to hide it from anyone until I was fully an adult. It took me so long to see it for what it was. I was groomed and molested. manipulated and taken advantage of for my very early but obvious drug problem. I used to think it was my fault, or that i wanted it, it was prostitution and I just wanted the drugs I got out of it. no, he knew exactly what he was doing. It’s really hard to talk about so this is, I mean it’s amazing how she tells her story.
im so proud of you for telling your story. you've been through so much and im so happy you're able to speak about it. this is so sad and i can't begin to imagine the pain and hurt you've been and are going thru. i love you so much stranger, you are amazing
She is so strong and so real for sharing her story. This kind of brainwashing takes such an immense psychological toll on a person in so many ways and I’m sure talking about it isn’t easy.
I wish her peace and happiness as she moves forward in life, I hope she is okay & has a strong support system to help her moving forward ❤️
Dev, thank you for continuing to give individuals the platform to share their experiences & potentially help others ❤️ you’re doing really important work & are such an amazing support person & listener ❤️
Damn, i can only imagine the intensity of processing and fixing the trauma in her memories and emotions, i know a thing or two about that, but her particular case is sooooo. Much. Worse. I wish her all the love and the best life she could have!
i’m coming from a family of educators so i’m so furious at her parents. they are complete scum and terrible. it takes a certain level of narcissism and lack of empathy for her mom to ignore it so many times for so long with multiple children. i just- oh my god i’m so mad
While I obviously don’t agree with what the mum did but I can fully see why she wouldn’t want to lose her marriage, her career, her social standing and possibly lose her kids by believing and acting on what was going on. Spineless and exasperating that looking good to others was more important than her children’s safety.
@@camellia8625 shhhhhhhh
@@averysneddon3038 Don't shush , shes not justifying shes showing what mental state some people are at that do fuckall when they see wrong. Also when a man is a violent narcissist no way he was not gaslighting manipulating the wife aswell.
The mother didn't care. I doubt she was remotely useful in her job either. The children spent so much time with her husband that she was forcing the children to sleep with him so she didn't have to while being financially compensated by whatever he provided for the household.
@@iSugarHeartImpossible to be manipulated when you are watching your husband abusing your children in your bed. There is no excuse for her behavior or thinking that went.on for decades. The mother even tried to prevent the children from being removed from their torture.smh.
One of the most profound things they said was towards the end, that being molested as a child, at the time, looked like love to them. It was presented to them as love and they didn't know any better. Incredibly interesting, I'm so glad people are willing to talk about this openly and educate others.
Incest is definitely one of those topics that is so tabboo. I feel like the idea of incest is seen as a 'joke' or something that is 'dirty' etc. When my closet friend told me that something happened with her, the main point she made sure of was that "i don't want you to think bad of my brother for this, he didn't know what he was doing". It makes total sense that incestuous abuse isnt oftern black and white, which can make victims blame themselves even more. If anything, it makes this absuse so much harder to recover from when its not clear what "counts" as abuse or not .
Thank you so much for sharing. This video gave me the courage to report my partner for possessing child abuse material (I found that day). There is no way that I would let him hurt our children. I took the step to get him out before anything could happen to them. Thank you so much for having the courage to share with us. You have changed lives by being so brave.
Thanks for reporting your partner and taking steps to protect your children. So many women don't.
Sammy you did a amazing job explaining about what you went through. I’m sure there are so many people watching this and going through this but to afraid or ashamed to talk about it and hearing you come out with it will help them to feel safe telling what’s going on. Devorah again great job your podcast is amazing ❤️👌👍
As a single dad who literally had to move and uproot my entire life because my wife was putting my daughter in danger I can’t understand how people like her dad exist…that’s your daughter dude, you’re supposed to be willing to die for her, abuse like this should end up with them getting convicted, getting their appeals, then being pushed into an incinerator. Gross.
Thank u
Not sure why this popped up on my feed, but grateful that it did. I was molested and raped by my mother and older sister from ages 10-17. It took me so long to learn that what was happening was wrong, and that I was being abused by the people who were supposed to love me. I didn't get therapy until 24, at 28 I attempted to "check myself out", and it took me until around 30 to finally heal somewhat. I turn 32 next month, haven't spoken to my family in over 8 years, and have never felt better. If this is happening to you, please know this... You didn't ask for it. You don't deserve it. You don't enjoy it. Tell a trusted adult, and protect yourself. You are not alone, and things WILL get better. You are so loved, and deserve to live a normal life. Keep your head up and don't stop until you are safe.
Damn, I wasn’t by family but a family friend and mentor figure I had for a long time. I don’t have timelines or days or even ages really, just pain and flashes unless I look at notes I never remember writing and from talks people tell me about.
You are so strong. I’m so proud of you for staying. I hope you are surrounded by nothing but healthy support and love, and that you are able to be kind to yourself on the hard days.
"there's always a time period where you pretend it didn't happen" as an abuse survivor as well I fucking FEEL this. It's the most true ugh I feel really herd by this episode (': thanks for sharing your story
This seems like an amazing way for the brain to protect itself.
It is. It's fascinating what your brain will do to protect itself. I was molested/raped by my brother for 8 years and I never developed DID (that I know of atleast).
the mind is an insane thing, the more we learn about it the more my mind is blown, DID is tragic but fascinating especially to show the lengths it will go to stop itself from being more damaged.
@@delulucyyy I agree. I was concerned my wording was misleading to my point here. I can't imagine living with such horrors. It just fascinates me, how the brain is still so powerful and unknown. ❤️
That's exactly what it does. Nazis discovered this in the concentration camps by torturing jews.
Is it wrong to be jealous? I have a lot of trauma similar I wish I didn’t remember
Her story has blown me away, she is incredibly strong. Her body adapted to her trauma in ways that she needed to cope - stuff that some people have no idea what its like to go through. She sounds like an incredibly strong human
i’ve never seen this channel or been into podcasts but i sat and watched the whole thing through and her story is so heart breaking, i’ve come from being groomed by people online growing up from the age of 12-15 and i’m so glad to see more people sharing their experiences and stories and making it known to the younger audience that these are the signs of abuse and that it isn’t love.
I love how the interviewer lady(I’m not sure what to title her) really let the person speak and agreed with her, didn’t deny her abuse, was so polite, allowed her to take her time, asked constructive questions. This is how podcasts and interviews on these subjects should be handled, it’s amazing so see there are still people who are this polite.
Your father was in prison for child molestation, he was a registered sex offender and yet he was allowed to come back to a home where children lived?!! He should never be allowed to see his or any children ever again, he’s a dangerous child predator! 🤦♀️ 8 months long sentence is a joke as well.
I rarely sit through full podcasts but this girl's story is heartbreaking and the way she presents and lays out the information and talks about her abuse is so beautifully done and I appreciate her sharing her story, it's beyond me on how she keeps her composure. It's so disgusting how the sweetest people end up being treated the worst. I hope peace will find her as time goes on
Just a small warning, please be careful in how you talk to your kids about this. When I started elementary school, my father sat me down to have a serious talk about stranger danger. He went to far because I changed for the worse after that. I became paranoid. Everyone became a suspect in my mind. I wouldn't even let my dad show affection afterwards. I became so withdrawn. I would have recurring nightmares of a kidnapper chasing me. The list goes on. Yes my father meant well and I would've never been the one to get kidnapped but he put a fear in me that I still haven't worked out. That day he had his talk with me, I felt my innocence got shattered. To know how dark this world can be is not easy for a child to handle.
I fully support talking to your kids but pls be mindful how you tell them. Don't terrify them too much especially if they're already sensitive and fearful.
Totally agree. My mom told me many things of her own abuse while I was growing up that I never needed to know, especially at such a young age. No wonder I'm so paranoid of everyone and everything.
Thank you for sharing. It’s important to make kids at a certain age aware but we don’t need to scare and scar them. Too many think that putting horrible fear into a child will help but it doesn’t do any good you have to give them resources and things to say or do without all the bad details.
the reality is that your child is in more danger from a family member or family friend than a stranger. children need to be taught not to keep secrets with adults, or in general, and other personal safety like that. its absolutely life saving information.
@@sharonious666 I agree
@@sharonious666 in my particular case, my father was concerned about strangers because a girl in our neighborhood had been kidnapped while walking home from school. She had been graped, strangled with her tights and left in the forest by our home... he told me this all in detail before school👀... I was only 6 and was expected to also walk to and from school alone (it was normal back then)... Apparently he thought telling me would save me from any threats but all I could think was how? How can little me stop a grown man from taking me? I became obsessed afterwards.
But i agree 💯 stats show that most abuse comes from someone in close contact not a stranger.
I love that she says “it wasn’t Sammy’s job to remember or take that on”. Adelaide is such a good protector! She takes on the memories of the abuse so Sammy doesn’t have to suffer.
I do think her mother should be in jail for the abuse this girl suffered. Absolutely appalling and disgusting.
Accomplice to a crime fr
As a fellow system and victimof incest, I'm so happy to see you got some sort of justice. My offender is so old now, they would probably keep him on house arrest.
hearing dissociative disorder system really helped me understand this way of life
I love trents
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Most people who actually have DID don't talk like this, because it's not something you can stand to be aware about. It's a red flag for me. Not saying she's fake, just that I personally know. It's most likely something people pick up from the trend side of disorders.
@@DelphineTheWorstBladeEver after what she's been through, I don't doubt her at all. I don't think she's getting this from a trend.
@@DelphineTheWorstBladeEver you want h this and the first thing you do is comment you found a ref flag
The way she described grooming really made me understand a lot of things about myself growing up...
This is a perfect example why at some point there should be a system in place to regularly evaluate parents or anyone in a position of power psychological well being.
Agreed
In a perfect world.
DID is such a fascinating coping mechanism. The body really does everything to keep you sane.
I was molested by my cousin, but I didn’t realize it was incest until right now… so wild. Thank you so so much for sharing your story 😢💔
Your story is almost identical to me and my family’s. We just ended up with different disorders. You’re incredibly strong. Thank you for sharing. You got this
Just curious. You don’t have to answer..What disorder come from yours?
I ended up with borderline personality disorder. Not fun but can be manageable :)
@@amandanations7355 me too 🫂
It’s mine as well and it’s disgusting and sad how common this same story is.
@@amandanations7355 Twinsies, wishing you as emotionally boring a weekend as possible 😅❤️
This monster is disgusting.. idk how the mom still stayed with him
My friend's mom blamed her. She was 5-11 when it happened. HOW is it a child's fault?
We accept the love we think we deserve… horrific but true
Her mom stayed with her dad even after the accusations?!
It should be prosecutable to be a mother like that. Unbelievable. Also I thought it was illegal to have children in the same house as a child abuser?!?
And the dad killed himself, what an absolute coward.
it is legal to live with your biological children in south carolina as a sex offender.
algunas mujeres es son más mujer que madre. many such cases
At least with him dead, he can't hurt anyone anymore. Which is the better option than him going to jail, getting out on good behavior and hurting more children.
@@el-topounfortunately true.
I haven't watched this YET. I just wanted to share my story right now. I've been scared to reach out to a counselor or therapist or even watch videos/podcasts on the topic so bear with me lol. I was born in 2003 and he was born in 1996, I met him when I was 4 and he was 11. He was my stepbrother. I don't want to get to in depth about what he's done, but over time between the ages of 4 and 16, he tried multiple times to get me to sleep with him, he touched me, and he rubbed his genitalia on me countless times. I didn't really think anything of it at the time because of how long it was happening and how normal it was for him to do this to me. I finally spoke up about what he did when I was 17. I saw this man as my brother, not a stepbrother, my brother. After I told my parents everything my mother did not believe me while my stepfather, his biological father, believed me. Because of this, they invited him over to our home (while I was hiding in my room) to confront him to figure out the truth, but they never asked or tried bringing it up. (Like that would ever work in the first place). They ended up doing this 10 times in just a month after I told them. It was April 21st when I told them, and on May 20th I came out of my room to use the bathroom and saw him outside through the window before the bathroom. I ran to my room and started panicking and crying. That was the first time in months since I've seen him. In that moment I decided I had enough. I thankfully realized how much danger they kept putting me in and they showed me how much they truly don't care for me (growing up, my siblings and I went through hell because of our parents). I contacted my father and stepmother and told them I needed to move in with them asap. I ended up leaving the next morning, exactly a month after I told my mom and stepfather. April 20th, 2021, I had a dream about everything that man put me through, the first people I told was my dad and stepmother. If I didn't come out about what happened, I don't think I'd be alive. I haven't seen my mom since, I'm so thankful for my dad. He is seriously my fucking hero. Coming out about that abuse changed my life completely. I hated myself. I was so miserable and confused. Now I know and love me. Please save yourself if you get the chance, please take it.
i’m glad your in a safe environment now.
@@puta347 thank you ❤️
unfortunately the frequency of stories like this makes me immediately cautious when somebody says they are christian. there is just so much covering up, protecting abusers, and generaitonal trauma. the more forward someone is with proselytizing, the faster i'm repelled away. it's like they are compensating so hard for something bad inside of them.
couldn't agree more.
Once the stuff about all the abuse in the Catholic Church in Australia came out. I gave up on it. I would never willingly go back in one except out of respect for events. Like weddings and funerals.
The mom letting it happen is BEYOND disgusting 😤 what fxcked up parents man!!
Incest is so prevalent in abuse and yet so little people talk about it because it’s uncomfortable and touchy
Thank you for being so vulnerable
agreed, I never realized how common it is and, of course, the shame associated with it is enormous so why would most victims speak up? society would shame them to death and blame them, instead of the abuser
@@miserabletrythat’s so bad. It’s causing generational trauma . And trauma is what is ruining the world, in my opinion. Broken people repeating cycles or killing themselves with substances to numb. Something’s gotta change.
You are so on the money when you said you are emotionally intelligent. Your unapologetic tone when relaying this story is unbelievable. My biggest pet peeve from my personal trauma is anyone who pretends like shit doesn't hurt, shit didn't happen, or shit always needs to be coated in sugar. You are the epitome of what I hope to be in my personal healing journey. Your story was incredibly upsetting, but to know there was such tangible healing gives me hope for humanity. Thank you for sharing your story.
The worst part of these stories of abuse is when the abuser takes themselves out. Not only did the system fail these kids and her, this man should have been under the jail on the first round of abuse. Horrible.
Nothing gets me angrier than cowards who ruin many many lives intentionally with no second thoughts but freak out when things go bad for THEM because of what they did. This will live with his victims forever, and he took the easy way out so he didn't have to deal with it himself. absolutely spineless
It's definitely cowardly and horrible but at least that means he can't get out again and hurt more children.
I came back and listened again. I’m here for the third time, actually. My trauma had me thinking I was the ‘only one’ again because *no one* speaks on this. Thank you.
I do like hearing victims being jelous or wanting to be with the abuser because it makes me feel better about my grooming. I was so jelous and wanted him all to myself even if it didnt feel completely right.
The minds ability to protect is incredible. I lost my little sister to cancer and to this day cannot recall 1 week and a half of my life before she passed. In my mind I can only recall 2 separate days and only the 2 separate moments with her. I miss her so much❤️❤️❤
Awe my hubby has DID & I am so in love with him and his entire system❤thank you for talking a bit about it! People need to be more educated on it!
you’re such an important person to have in this world seriously
Known Sammy for a long time and I’m very proud of them for sharing their story!!
Does she have any socials? Would love to follow her.
*they
The mother cried when dad died but did not shed one tear when her own daughter was getting abused
I'm a guy, btw, the state of Idaho has just passed a law that gives the death sentence to 'Pedophiles'.
💯
she really is so strong for coming on such a big platform and sharing her story like this. praying for continuous healing for her 💕🙏🏽
This story is insane to how close it is to mine. Even to the phone call, I had to also call my step dad and he was out of town knowing he was going to be f’d . Even to the going to cosmetology school, I couldn’t drive , everything you said was exactly the same . It’s going on 10 years since I’ve seen my mom.
Much peace and strength to you love. The healing is forever.❤
Sorry for your trauma. Thank you for sharing.
We are all so much more alike than we realize.
I hope nothing but healing in your lives ladies. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Out early on good behaviour ? Not abusing any kids in a jail full of adults ?! And then being allowed to go home and live with his kids . The constant failings are insane .
The fact that being let out on “good behavior” is a thing is actually insane. Yeah, they’re in a prison surrounded by cops, of course they’re gonna behave. Also the fact that cps never investigated the household despite the fact he had young daughters. Even if they did investigate, clearly they were not thorough about it.
I am also a survivor of incest. My trauma manifested differently. I have a lot of false memories rather than gaps, but it still causes a lot of distress to think about.
This interview is very important because it details a key aspect of CSA that many don’t want to confront because it’s so disturbing to reckon with. With these kinds of situations where abuse went on for years, people who don’t understand how CSA works will often say, how did they get away with it for so long? Why didn’t the child tell anyone? The fact is that in a lot of instances, the abuser will make the child feel like they are a willing, enthusiastic participant in what’s going on. That they want it. This can be one of the most damaging aspects psychologically when healing from the abuse.
As a side note, Devorah, I hope that you are able to access your own psychological support when doing this work. Vicarious trauma is very real, I hope you can look after yourself.
Not all parents deserve good kids, but all kids deserve good parents. This event is very relatable to me and it's so painful to hear what she's been through. Sending lots of love
This played as a recommended video and I decided to let it play. This was a very informative video. She is so brave and communicated so well. Thank you for giving her a platform and letting her tell her story.
Wow, I’m very impressed with this young woman’s ability to tell her difficult story with so much wisdom, grace and humor. Thank you for sharing.
I feel like 95% of the time when this happens the mother is almost just as much to blame. They are always fully aware something is going on or find out sooner rather than later. You can't live in close proximity and not notice that.
Some women are stuck being abused and are too afraid. But many are just looking the other way and resenting their child instead for "stealing their husband"
I find it interesting that she doesn’t even realize that it wasn’t that she just wanted the special attention, she subconsciously feared being physically abused as well. He taught her that you get hurt really bad for small things (punched for singing bad), so she wouldn’t dare talk back or reject him because she most likely feared her life, without even realizing.
With that being said, I’m impressed how far she’s come because she’s been through a lot and it takes a lot to do what she did. I hope the best for her.
I'm pretty sure she realizes that being physically abused is a fear
this is so true. i’ve gone along with sexual abuse to avoid being injured or worse.
I love that you offer this platform as a safe space for victims to share their sides of the stories