This Vicious Cycle Can Leave You With A Messy Home And An Empty Wallet
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- Опубликовано: 30 ноя 2023
- Do you struggle with Scarcity Mindset?! This vicious cycle can leave you with a messy home and an empty wallet. The worst part is that big companies reinforce our fear and anxiety in order to sell us more stuff!
Are you ready to get off the Scarcity Cycle?!
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Scarcity mindset isnt just stockpiling. Its also being too scared to pay money toward things that would objectively make your life better, like getting a sore tooth fixed or upgrading a barely-working laptop that you struggle with every day, or replacing clothes that arent "fit for service" anymore because you lost a lot of weight or wore holes in the bottom. You are in the habit of putting off meeting basic needs because of scarcity mindset, and it just makes your life hard with no upside. Its okay to spend money on things that add to your life quality.
This is me
YESSSSS!
Soooo me...but not for long!
“We don’t trust the money…STUFF feels like safety.” This is one of the best ways I’ve heard this idea said.
Glad you think so!
And when the news reports that dollar is worth nil. OMG I have to fight so hard to stay the course, I swear I'm gonna need to barter "stuff" lol
yeah, the value of money keeps dropping making sitting money vanish. Where things keep going up in price while quality of products are going down.
My husband lost his job in Feb 23 few days before our first born arrived! Didn't find any luck yet except one rubbish job that ended in a month or so ! This scarcity mindset is exactly what we are having right now despite my full time job that isn't lavish but covers most things if not all! Thanks for the video
@@nicholebryant7359yes that’s my issue too! Money in the bank doesn’t feel like it will be worth anything later, since inflation is out of control.
THANK YOU for sharing this. We can't afford to buy our grandkids anything for Christmas so we are planning days out with them that they will remember not toys they'll soon forget about.
This is what children really want.
I love this! They will treasure those memories ❤
Time is priceless
Takes lots of pictures. Make them a photo album, maybe?
My family was extremely poor. I didn’t get toys OR the days out. When I became a young adult, I had a brief mad craze of buying toys that were still available (or similar) that I had never had but coveted as a child, just to “play” with them a few times, to see what it was like to have toys. I realised they were just crap, I got no joy as an adult, I, in fact, felt stupid for having bought them! I donated them to a charity that gives them out freely to poor kids. Such charities never existed when I was little. I’m not sure where I’m going with this…but a lot of toys are just plastic rubbish. I kept some of the quality cuddly toy animals. These are the toys that inspire emotion, I think. Taking kids out into nature-bathed environments can be fairly cheap to do and they can bring back twigs and leaves and stones that have memories and they can maybe even use them in art. Every child WANTS those toys, but they get bored with them after 5minutes, so why bother? We’ve got to persuade them there are better things in life….
A wise woman (my mom) once told me “there will always be a deal. Wait until you actually need it before you buy it.”
This is so true, but SO HARD! The voice / emotions in my head whisper, “… but it won’t be there, let alone on sale, when you actually need it …”
Except it isn't always true. The pandemic cured me of that delusion. To this day, there are still things I can't get that were easy to find before. Add to that, retailers have cut way down on their inventory. Retailers that I've depended on for 30 years are no longer carrying my size in clothes, and now I'm glad that I've bought way ahead when the clearance sales came around.
@@nataliebeversluis7994 for me it is 100% that things might not be there. The way my body is shape, and my size alone is hard to find. I once had to wait over a decade to be able to get a coat due to the style the cut would not fit on my shoulders where to get it wide enough for shoulders chest area it ballooned out way too much in the belly like I would be able to fit 3 more full grow cubby people in.
I don’t find this to be true at all. Not if you NEED the thing. It’s always at full price if you literally can’t buy it in advance
When i am "ADHDing chores" (never finishing one room, but always starting another) my guy will just walk up to me and give me a hug. He will hold me until he feels me relax a bit and then let go. Doesn't even need to say anything. Just gets me to pause for a minute and lets me go back to being ADHD. Lol. And i love him for being my anchor when I'm anxious. I'm glad Joe is your anchor.
My husband was the same .. he went to see the Lord in 2017. This is the year I finish the house and sell it... start a new.
Awwwww ❤
@ronichapman8177 a big hug to you!
🙏🙏💗🙏🙏
0:45 - 2:14 be like 5 years worth of therapy explained in less then 2 minutes. Thank you Cas. You've just changed my life...
Thats why our grandparents who experienced Great Depression kept and almost seemed like hoarders and where many of their family learned it from... that's scarcity REALITY ingrained in them
I don't suffer from this scarcity cycle. But as I watched and thought "this isn't me at all!" I realised I suffer from a different, kind of opposite version.
I don't spend my money in case I end up needing it. I don't have much to begin with, but I spend it like I have even less of it. It's below freezing right now and I don't have the heat on because it's too expensive. I keep thinking "what if I need the money?" because I've been through harder financial times and right now I "can afford" to try and put some money aside or spend it less.
The thing is, while watching I realised that heating up my home IS needing the money. It's one of those times I SHOULD spend, even if it's a lot, even if I think about how if I was homeless that money could feed me. I'm not homeless right now and I don't need to live as though I am.
Another thing is the hoarding. I don't spend much on anything, but I seem to collect everything that is free, even if there is no way I'll ever use it. I tell myself I could sell it and get some money out of it when the truth is, there is a reason it's free. I need to say "no" if I don't want it. It doesn't need to take up space in my home or in my mind.
I thought it could be interesting to share a different kind of reaction to dealing with scarcity that also end up in clutter, stress, and is a vicious cycle too. I'm going to try and be better about it, even though it's hard!
Banks can collapse - and then at least you'll still have your stuff... Just something that's crossed my mind as you said our money is safe in the bank.
This is me. I’m in tears watching this. Someone finally hit the nail on the head and told me exactly what my issue is! My husband and I went through a major financial problem 10 years ago and have been crawling ever since trying to get back. When you explained the cycle I saw myself with every point. Thank you so much for this video. It has been a tremendous eye opener for me! ❤❤❤❤❤
I saw a few friends in this, and now I know better how to help them!
Right?! Totally hit the nail on the head
😭🙏🏾 thank you for this message 🙏🏾
O my gosh yes!!!!
Me too!!
Never in the history of calming down has anyone ever clalmed down by being told to calm down.
I keep thinking if I don't spend it now ... the dollar will not be worth anything in a year or two.
Stuff can’t feed us.
Stuff can’t fix us.
Thanks for being here Cas ✨
Thank you for saying it is going to be painful, getting rid of the stuff. Everyone else skips over this and talks about how good you’re going to feel. They ignore the painful step you have to go through first. And “the pain will keep you from buying too much”. That’s the key. Thanks!
Agreed. I finally took the step to donate some items and had to deal with anxiety for hours afterwards and I'm still not sure I did the right thing.
@@babsbybend You did the right thing, because you made progress and lightened the burden on your shoulders.
Grandmother was a Depression Era kid, too. Those kids had things instead of savings, because the banks failed.
I watched this yesterday and it has already helped. I was at the store spending my money right away on more Christmas stuff and other random things. Got to the check out and was like wtf! I left the line and put away the stuff I didn't really need. I was so proud of myself. Now to declutter some things I don't need! Thank you Cas!
🎉😮🎉😂🎉
I worked for many years with families with children who struggled with poverty. The Scarcity Cycle was fully evident with these families. Learning about this cycle helped me understand why money was often spent in ways that did not seem logical. Thank you for this video.
Have you heard about the state of the US Dollar?? Money in the bank doesn't exactly feel safe, either.
When I was 14 years old our family home was repossessed by the mortgage company. I can still feel how devastating that was to this day and I know I buy stuff to make me feel secure. I also spent money I didn’t have on buying things for my daughter for years because I never wanted her to feel the way I did. Thank you for this gift of waking me up to my habit Cas 💖 the decluttering starts now! I’m looking forward to starting 2024 on the right foot and breaking this cycle for good 💪🏻
I feel that! I grew up in a trailer because my parents had filed for bankruptcy when I was 4. I used to think other families were rich because they owned things like movies on VHS (Yes, I am THAT old 😅). I'm always buying things for my kids that I didn't have, but without realizing that those items won't have the same significance to them. We have so many board games that we never play. DVD's we don't have time to watch. And the clothes! I'm definitely ready to reassess my relationship with buying things and do a major declutter.
'I also spent money I didn’t have on buying things for my daughter for years because I never wanted her to feel the way I did.' OMG this! I have that :( thank you for your comment!
scarcity has been linked to overweight as well. In a study where they put a bowl of snacks in front of participants who had just been fed they found out that people who grew up feeling economically safe ate a lot less of the snacks. Compared to those who grew up not feeling safe who kept eating until there was no snacks left, depite feeling full.
Yes I struggle with this but my dr says I'm not overweight but my bmi clearly says I am
Bmi is being phased out as they have found it ito be an unreliable arbitrary measurement that lacks the nuances needed for accurate measuring. Hope that helps! If your Doc says you're fine chill a bit!
@@stephanied6711BMIs are inaccurate because they don't factor in muscle. Listen to your doctor. I weigh a lot more than I used to, but I'm stronger and have more stamina than I did when I was in high school 50 years ago.
Well, you just solved my money AND my weight problem! I always felt like there had to be a connection. Now, to overcome both. 😮
Omg i Never saw it in this way, I can see myself 😅
Marketing always tries to find a “pinch point”- a reason why you need their product. Thank you so much for posting this. 🎉
Oh, Cas…”The pain is the cure”…you don’t even realize how wise you are! ❤
I am so counting on it!
Indeed 😅
We don't struggle with "stuff" but the pandemic scarcity for food and toilet paper has turned us into warehouse shoppers. I don't ever want to run out of toilet paper again 🤦🏻♀️
Same! I will always have an extra pack of toilet paper on hand!
Same !!
Yup! And I'm not giving up my extra TP, or extra rice (that was sold out at our stores too). Not to mention, I decluttered my extra coat right before COVID hit. Then during the lockdowns, I lost my job AND my dog for
tore my coat. Wished I kept that coat just one more month.
Hi diy donna here yes we started to get extra pack of toilet paper and we keep it up
I frazzle more easily than my husband…but after 43 years together we can avoid a total meltdown…😂
Another mind set shift that works for me is leaving the stuff at the store so I will know where to find it.
I LOVE this! I’ve heard, “it’s in storage at the store” too, but I’d totally forgotten that.
I'm going to try that
😅
Good one!
This is AWESOME! 😂
I and my dear Hubby were raised by Depression Baby parents who grew up poor and worked hard for every dime. My Dad grew up dirt poor, as in farming to survive and wearing his grandmother's shoes to school poor. Growing up in extremely hard financial times left a lifelong impact on both sets of parent's mental attitude about acquiring things.
My Dad was an electrical engineer with Texas Instruments (he was one of the leads on the team that developed the first handheld calculator❣️), so money wasn't always tight while I was growing up, BUT wow did we have some nice and nifty quirky stuff. My Dad's attitude was to save up and buy the highest quality you can while you can, so we had some incredibly well-made stuff, but much of it was still well made expensive stuff that was seldom used. Mom's obsessive collecting did not really kick in until all 3 of us kiddos were teens. Every time there was a little extra money, Mom would spend it on mostly non-essentials. She bought very attractive, high-quality items, but they were definitely not necessary for a comfortable life. Mom & Dad trained me well.
The false sense of security via stuff possession may be a driving force now, but growing up with parents who experienced the hard side of the depression years who ingrained in my brain that making a good impression on people by looking good and having nice possessions was essential. I am from the "Keeping up with the Jones" generation, although i dont care what tge Jones family has. I just want my stuff. The result: wow, do we have some exquisitely nice, high-quality STUFF, and a lot of really nice junque. Whoopee. And that's why, with my Dear Hubby and I now in our 60's, we are paying a small fortune to have a nice lady come in and help me give away and toss a lot of it.
I have learned that the longer you have a possession, the more perceived value it accrues, regardless of its current financial value, replacement cost, or whether the item is functionally worthwhile or not.
Hitting the 60's decade of life also opens one's eyes to thoughts of living after retirement (especially having no monthly paycheck), how many years one has left, and how much stuff I want to keep dusting and maintaining as I get older ... not this much!
Instead of trying to get some return on possessions I have had for years and seldom used by hosting my "I'm not dead yet estate sale", the money spent on purchasing so much of this stuff could have instead resulted in a very nice retirement account. Oh, the short-sightedness of youth. 😊
"the money spent on purchasing so much of this stuff could have instead resulted in a very nice retirement account." oof - that was a gut punch. Much needed distillation of the effect of this problem
I loved reading this short story. Thank you for sharing your story of "junque". My grandparents were depression era babies. My dad and aunt inherited grandpa's hoarding gene and I find myself in the same boat. That makes sense that that could be where it comes from
My father-in-law was very much like your parents. He grew up during the depression on a Nebraska tenant farm. When he left the farm and became financially successful he bought stuff that my mother-in-law was less than enthusiastic about... like the matching coveralls (which she never wore) for them to ride on the ATV (which she never rode on).
@lonnarheaj This is a very honest assessment. Thank you for sharing; it really resonates with me.
Bingo!! I applaud your emoji at the end of your revalation, I’most likely be 😢 … and I can’t afford to bring in that nice lady to help me get rid of those nice things of two and three decades past. What a revelation!
This is excellent! One of the things that really propelled me toward “step 3” was taking “I’d rather have the money” a step further and saying “I’d rather have the time I’d have to exchange for the money”. And it became a “how much of my life am I willing to trade for this or that thing”.
Love your video!
I think I like your take on it. Your comment made me stop and say, 'Aha'!
Decluttering has helped me get rid of the scarcity mindset. I can be generous to give things to other people that I don’t need.
Working really hard on this issue.
Absolutely, when I'm frazzled, I do NOT want to be told to take a deep breath and calm down. If anything, that'll make me angrier. Know what will get me to calm down? Helping me fix the thing! Except most of the time, I don't really want your help at all. It's a no win situation. 😂
I hate when people say calm down. I was having what I thought was a reasonable discussion online and just because I disagreed with the person, they replied: "Calm down". I was not irate until I read that. I wanted to throttle that person after reading that. Why couldn't I just laugh it off!
This is totally true to my core too @diana like you see me struggling just help instead of making me angrier and giving your 2 cents about breathing lol
Ugh I totally agree, Cass! It is so gross how advertising encourages scarcity mindset (and so many other bad habits)
I'm the same, get upset and forget it 5 minutes later! It's the blessing of ADHD!
My brother and I are products of parents who grew up at the tail end of the depression. They were taught by their parents to save everything because you never knew if you would have money to buy it later when you needed it. My brother and I both became hoarders just like them and it is a difficult mindset to overcome when you grow up with that scarcity mentality. It has taken me a lot of work and help from family and friends to realize I don't have to save everything. By being organized and more mindful of making quality purchases I have found that I don't have to keep so many things for " just in case " needs. If I couldn't find an item when I truly need it then I avoid repurchasing that item. Thank you Cass for all your help with your organizing tips especially for those of us with ADD and ADHD!
I think my dad struggles with this too. It's hard to know how to help
I also grew up with parents raised during the depression.
My grandmother lived next to us, and she raised 7 children during that era.
I, too, was taught to not only save everything but to never waste anything either. My husband leaves the water running while he brushes his teeth and occasionally he will even walk into another room. Needless to say, but I panic when I hear the water running.
I fortunately am not a hoarder although 2 of my siblings are. I feel so guilty when I throw away things that could be used still or repaired.
The clutter in my home feels like a heavy weight I carry. The thought of getting rid of the clutter, however makes it worse and I will have a hard time breathing and I'll need to lay down. Now that I'm retired and home all day it's hard to keep my home livable.
I really like watching your videos in conjunction with preparedness videos. There is a razor thin line between being prepared for an emergency, and scarcity mindset. For my prepper friends out there: only keep the items you know how to use, and food that's still safe! Clutter is a liability in an emergency situation, eating stale food is a huge morale crusher, and bad food will make you sick or worse.
I totally agree with this!!! I do struggle with scarcity mindset after losing nearly everything and struggling the past decade. Plus we lived in a situation where we literally went hungry and had almost nothing to eat. The idea of not having food is very real and I will do whatever I can to avoid that again for my family. I love having a fully stacked pantry and will never be a minimalist. But the opposite of poverty isn't as much as you can humanly stash away, it's . I know it's hard to know when enough is enough and everyone probably needs to wrestle with that a bit on their own. But I've definitely crossed the threshold the past few years and now I need to start purging the clutter and the excess to get to a manageable level.
Yep, I try to manage my food and other prepper stuff, eat some weird meal combinations when trying to use up what I have, give away things before they go bad if I see I won't be able to use it up. I've been sick the last couple of weeks and not feeling like going to the grocery store. Friends offered to bring me food but I have so many food allergies it's really difficult. I have been able to feed myself from my pantry and the leftovers I love to stash in the freezer.
I can SOOO relate
100%. Am moving into a van and know that that's going to serverly curtail my "buffer" of stuff. The mental load is coming
Same, and also the connection to hoarding. An obsession with "being prepared" can turn into hoarding and creating a safety hazard instead of a safety net.
You have to find the sweet spot between having enough in your pantry and overybuying to the point where some of it will go bad. I get a real feeling of security when I never hit the 'last roll of TP', but at the same time, never want to throw out expired food either.
One of the things I have always loved about this channel is that you yourself have been through so much and you don’t preach. You just try to help without judgement. I think I can speak for most of us, we feel like you are our friend. I work in retail and you are absolutely correct about the stores, yet even I needed this reminder today. Thank you. 🙏
I will say to myself when shopping "yes you might need this someday, so keep your money in the bank, so when you do need it, you have the money to buy it, even if it's not on sale"
My savings account is my security, not stuff.
Literally putting this as my screen saver.
Ty 🥺
"...a man designed this..." Best quote ever in your videos! The scarcity cycle is certainly a great topic too. Ty Cas!
doing the marketing for my own small handmade goods is such a weird experience because my brain is hardwired to do the "marketing thing" but my heart is hardwired to just be like "buy it if you want or whatever. I worked hard on it. Thanks bye"
I've had the scarcity mindset since I used up my emergency fund without realizing it when I was 20 years old. Instead of overspending, though, I just overstress about spending, plus I keep too much money liquid instead of getting a better interest rate. I'm glad you talked about this so I can use the "scarcity mindset" phrase to increase my awareness and hopefully break the cycle.
Hi. You can keep your savings liquid with a good interest rate by getting a high yield savings account. They are often better than CD’s. Mine is at 5%. Hope this helps 😊
This is me too, although I used to overstress more about spending. Since my income went up and I moved in with my partner who owns his property, I have been able to stress less. Although this has led to overbuying hobby stuff. Now we have a child, it will be interesting to see what happens when I get back to work after maternity leave.
@@pattiobrien5408 where do you get your HYSA at that rate, is it a local bank?
@@therealmissglamBAM they are online banks. I switch between 2 depending on the rates. Those are My Savings Direct and Dollar Savings. I’m at a 5% interest rate right now.
Also known as The Fear of Loss or Fear of Missing Out (FOMO). Its a media scare tactic to get you to spend. For example- Sales, Black Friday, Cyber Monday, "Buy within the next 3 mins or its gone!". This was really good. To see the correlation
Moving from a 3 bed/2 bath home to a 1 bedroom apt has forced me to finally face this. My mother was abusive and a hoarder and I realized that in some odd way the clutter was comforting or just familiar....I'm starting to feel good about getting rid of things. Loved this video ❤
Something else comes into play: inflation, the threat of war, the threat of this country going down, utilities and stores ending-the prepper mindset as well.
I can completely relate to this. I never really knew what it was called. It is especially it’s hard if you’ve ever gone through a period where you didn’t have food or you didn’t have a place to stay and even now I’m on a fixed income and it’s something I struggle with.
I just realized 2 weeks ago that I have scarcity mindset when I was piling cases of toilet paper in the spare bathroom tub. I also decluttered my hall closet and realized I have enough Tide detergent and Downy to last us at least 3 years or longer. I went to the kitchen and opened the pantry up and realized I stocked up on soups, rice, etc to last us 3 years or longer again. It finally clicked that I had spent unnecessary money at the time due to fear that the stores would runout of these items. I tossed out expired foods that were not able to be saved like applesauce from 2023, quick microwave rice that was dated 2023, etc. I tossed so much out it was hard and sad but a very big eye opener for me. I deleted all apps that show me sales, bargains, etc. i think Covid had a huge impact on me when you couldn’t find Lysol, hand sanitizer, etc. I purchased so much that was unnecessary but now aware of it and I’m breaking the cycle. It’s been 2 weeks and feels great that I realized it and working towards breaking up with the stores. Great video explaining it! Thank you,
I grew up in the country where my dad grew giant gardens (at 82 he still grows quite a large garden)...so I was used to seeing my parents keep a stock of things. There was always a cellar full of home canned food. The smoke house had salted pork, and when we had chickens we had fresh eggs. My dad was also a hunter. My mom would often go to the store once a month. She kept powdered milk, and plenty of baking supplies on hand. My mom still buys lard, flour and such by 20 and 25lb bags etc... From time to time they still raise a cow for meat to fill the freezer. They rarely eat out. My mom cooks every day from scratch. She even did this when we were growing up and she worked full time. We had a hot breakfast and dinner every day. Breakfast was mostly old fashioned oats and eggs, but it still beat a bowl of cereal. We had cereal, but a lot of times that was an after dinner kind of thing. It was never sugar cereal either. Our school had the best cooks, and they actually cooked from scratch back then at our small country school. I still remember my favorites from back then. Times were different then, and definitely less hectic and busy. Busy, but in a different way. Winters slowed down due to the snow, and you definitely prepared ahead of time for that because it may be a week or more before the secondary roads were clear enough to safely get to town. I don't miss the snow with living in the south, but I do miss the way it slowed life down. I never had an issue with toilet paper during the pandemic. In November or December of 2019 my oldest son was living in Atlanta where he works. He called me one day and said, "mom have you seen what's happening in China? You need to make sure you are well stocked now, because there's going to be big supply issues." I was already well stocked with alcohol, hand sanitizer, disenfectant wipes, baking supplies, hygiene items, etc...but since my son was concerned I would keep picking up extras when I was at the store. The way I was raised kept any of the supply issues from being a problem for us. However, I was fortunate that none of my appliances broke and we didn't need a new car. Some things just can't be prepared for or bought ahead of time. I would honestly worry more about food than toilet paper. I could cut up tons of old rags to use for that. Have a can by the toilet and just throw them in the wash if need be. I used cloth diapers with both of my boys in the 90's. So it doesn't gross me out. I also think about my mamaw and papaw born in 1897 and 1906. They didn't even have toilet paper growing up. My parents were born in the 40's and they also didn't have toilet paper growing up using the outhouse. They used paper from magazines, newspapers, whatever. Indoor plumbing wasn't a thing for them till around 68 and 70. So, I always think...."What would the old timers do in such and such situation?" I will say that I was very thankful that my kids were grown when the pandemic started, because the school situation was very undesirable to say the least. I'm so thankful mine got to have a normal school experience until they graduated high school and college. Due to do many different circumstances and being a think ahead kind of person the pandemic wasn't hard on me like it was so many others. Part of that again was just by chance so many things just didn't need to be dealt with at the time. For all of those blessings I'm very thankful.
I was well stocked up way ahead of the pandemic because God told me something was coming.
I was apprehensive to watch this, because scarcity mindset often gets framed as: "Don't be scared to spend money. Spend and as a result you will become rich." 🤦
But this made a lot more sense, and might just be life changing. Thank you.
As soon as you said the word “marketing”, an ad started to play. 🤣🤦♀️. It is so good to be aware of what is being “sold” to us. Thank you.
Funny story about Costco and their shortages of my favorite things. I took a cue from my friend and went straight to the company that makes it.
Even with shipping, it’s not much more. They’re quickly eliminating my need for them by pulling this. One thing I don’t believe Costco always thinks of is that people get tired of hunting for something week after week. Costco is not that indispensable, and honestly I’m debating if I even want to renew my membership at all.
Dollar Tree even says "Get it before it's gone!" right on the shelves.
You just explained to me, what I never understood about myself and what made me always even more anxious and mad at myself.
Not having enough money, and in consequence spending as much as possible always seemed to be something I struggled with. And it would really upset me, because it just doesn't make sense. I'm so glad that I'm not alone. Now I feel seen, and I thank you, Cas for sharing and all of your viewers for lifting each other up in the comments. This community is great ❤️
I struggle so much with this scarcity mindset. I live in a country at war (now, and often in the past), and although things usually function, I sometimes worry that soon they won't. But war shows you stuff is not security. Stuff really doesn't make you safe. I'm trying hard to reduce my materialism (turning to shopping for emotional support), and focus on values that matter, especially the people around me.
I think after seeing empty shelves during the COVID triggered this in a lot of us coupled with the drastic supply chain shortages. That wasn’t too long ago.
Thank you for this enlightening video.
Many times, clutter and overbuying are symptoms of trauma (living in poverty, abandonment issues, abu$e), and it’s frustrating because of how the stores encourage overconsumption. Addressing the trauma helps, and part of the healing process are things that you mentioned in the video.
I really, really, really needed to hear this…especially today. Divinely inspired and sent. Thank you.
I loved your end story! I was BELLY laughing (no, really) because you and your husband are me and my husband's mirror image. I'm all emotion when I get upset, no logic to be found. My husband is obnoxiously cool and logical (most of the time). I'm so glad you can laugh about it, the story was hilarious!! The recovery time for your poor husband: that was the cherry on top!🤣😂
My Grandparents grew up in the Great Depression and always overfed us because an overabundance of food meant prosperity and security to them. And stuff, they had a lot of stuff. My other Grandparents hoarded old food container and reused items like toothbrushes for cleaning. Stuff, more stuff. A lot of stuff. That mentality has been passed down and needless to say I too have a lot of stuff.
My mom was a Depression baby, so I learned to be creative (without purchasing art supplies).
I think the majority of folks recycle old toothbrushes for cleaning, ragged clothes become wiping rags, etc.
We picked the dump before "picking" was cool, taking home solid wood furniture to repair and re-use.
I furnished much of my home with things from yard and thrift sales, having viewed similar stock at retail and/or antique shops - we knew what to look for.
Most of my wardrobe comes from Goodwill, and I wear better labels than I could afford at retail prices.
It's nothing to be ashamed of, but you need to learn WHEN to shut off the spigot.
I've discovered that - just because it's a bargain - doesn't mean it has to come home with me!
But I wasn't born knowing this ... I learned the hard way.
This resonates with me so much. For me, the pandemic made it worse. I would go to the grocery store once every 2 weeks (every pay period - I was lucky enough to continue working) and stock up because I didn't want to go out in public and be near people. I haven't been able to stop doing this.
I love shopping only every 2-3 weeks for groceries
I have all of my groceries delivered from Walmart. For $10/month, I get unlimited delivery, even on stuff that isn't in stock at the store. I save that much just in gas not having to go to the store, and when they're out of stock, they send it to me and no delivery charge.
Great video, Cass! Even if/when we're aware of the obvious seduction, there's also the subliminal seduction! Buyer beware! XXOO ❤️
Re: I can so relate to the truck issue and NO ONE in the history of hysterics has ever calmed down when someone tells then to calm down!! 😂
My parents grew up rurally poor in the 60s and 70s. They had enough food and a place to live but not much else.
Mom still has anxiety if she can’t buy you something. She uses gifts instead of emotions but also promised that her kids would have mom than she did. Dad was fairly simple though he would iron all of his shirts including sleep and undershirts.
I distinctly remember my son (older teen) using a paper towel to wipe up a spill on the counter and me literally crying because "who knows when we will be able to get more" at the beginning of the pandemic.
I have always been a stockpile type shopper but it literally helped feed my family when my kids were little and I was an extreme couponer. I haven't bought paper towels in over a year. Literally. I know because I cancelled our Sam's membership to keep myself accountable with spending and we are still using the paper towels from OVER a year ago. That is a bit much. So I am doing better about thinking I need to keep a crap ton of 'necessities " on hand.
When your cortisol levels are high, because stacks of stress on top of stress, your amygdala activates. It’s fight mode. Your brain believes it’s a physical threat to your wellbeing, as if you and your children were being attacked by a bear. For you, as soon as the truck started, and your kids made it on time, the threat was gone, the stress was gone, the bear was gone. For your husband, he had no clue where the bear was or if it was still hunting him, or if you and your kids made it out ‘alive,’ so he was still in fight or fight mode long after you were done with it.
It’s so interesting that you paired this story with scarcity mindset because it’s literally the same chemical reaction happening in your brain in both situations.
"The pain is the cure!". Love this! I can apply that to other things, too, like weight loss! Thanks, Cas! You look gorgeous in cobalt blue, BTW! 💙
This is so true for me. I really struggle to throw the tiniest thing away, and grab and stockpile anything free or cheap, just in case. As a result, I am swamped in clutter. Thanks so much for this, hopefully I can start to sort it. ❤
When I experienced a big financial cushion for almost a year, I was AMAZED at how it improved my sense of wellbeing. I want that again! I developed Learned Helplessness about making money due to health issues and ADHD (bosses either love me or hate me, and I never know which until I'm in the job😰). Now that I know how much *peace of mind* financial security gives me, I want more!
I do struggle with the scarcity mindset, but you can't buy things when you really don't have the funds. So that has helped me start to overcome that mindset. For the last part, I tend to be more like you, Cas. My husband can be like upset for a long while. At times, I can be upset for awhile as well, but I am getting better at not staying upset for long.
That was an excellent summary of scarcity mindset. Thank you for sharing.
I am definitely more like Joe in the after story. I would have been upset, hurt, and rattled for hours after a receiving a call like that. I also likely would have asked the other person to take a breath to calm down first too. The "take a breath" instruction is used by people like us usually for two purposes.
1) If we were in your shoes, people like us would need to take a breath to calm first or otherwise we would not be able to follow unusual instructions because the panic is causing our brains to kind of freeze up. We generally would assume that a breath would help other panicking people to hear our instructions as well.
2) If a panicked person calls me like that, it may take me a moment to dust off my memory about how to do whatever is necessary to solve their problem. Having a panicked person time pressure me might make my recall even harder, so a moment to take a breath is seen as a moment for both of us (time for me to recall and get ready to teach someone verbally and time for them to get ready to listen).
Just like there are different Clutterbug types, there are different types of people emotionally and with how long it takes them to "move on" from an event. Y'know how you say that for ladybugs and butterflies putting something away has to be as easy as putting it down, because once you are done using the object your mind has already moved on? Well, there is some correlation here. For people like Joe and me, we're not "done" yet. We haven't gotten this situation and all the feelings it invoked settled and sorted yet. It hurt, and it's not put away yet. It takes us more time to move on. Receiving an apology from the other person for shouting at me helps the process along, but it still takes time to put the experience to bed.
I absolutely struggle with this. The last time my Dad came to visit he commented that it is like I live in a store because I buy so much in bulk. I have multiples of pretty much everything. Same for food. I live alone and my pantry and fridge/freezer is bursting at the seems with food. I have even told myself that I don't need all this stuff, but the impulse to buy as much as possible when I am shopping is so strong. Thanks for putting this video out. I feel like it is not just a mindset but a type of addiction and it helps to keep pointing it out to yourself and to have others point it out to remind you that you can put probably 50% - 95% back before you walk out of a store.
I am the cleaning lady at a large clothing store. I see the signs for 50% off or buy 3 get 1 free. Because I have honed my minimalist brain, I only have to ask myself where on earth am I gonna store 47 pairs of earrings or two more shirts to talk myself out of spending part of my paycheque on frivolous stuff!
the truck story at the end. literally crying laughing that you walk in fine with coffee. 🤣🤣🤣
Cass you've done it again. The depths you go to to help us see what is underlying the excess in our homes is totally impressive. The overwhelm piece is one of my favorites and I listen to it often. This will be my second favorite because it really gets into the foundations of what the psychological excess is about. Bless you and your work. It is helping so many!
Thank you!
I think during lockdown, not being able to buy food & hygiene essentials, has stirred up this mindset a bit in me, thanks for sharing 💕
Never occured to me. With my amount of money every purchase must literally fight with others in queue.
I even have scarcity mindset with people (love) and it has kept me stuck in bad relationships and situations.
So relatable. Might want to look up 'attachment theory' and know that we can heal those aspects of ourselves also.
Thank you for this reminder. I am working on this. When I want something I don't need, I try saying, "The money's better in my pocket than theirs.". It does help. Also it sounds like you and I respond to stress similarly. I'm thankful to have a patient, kind husband who deals with it.
The pandemic really spiraled all of my scarcity anxiety out of control. I would pay for the extra cost knowing that I had that one item that was rare at the moment. I'm glad to be mostly out of that fear and the world is slowly going back to what it was. And I got a job recently, and I've gone so long without a job, that the amount I'm making is being saved up. When it comes to purchases, I take a moment to really think if I need that item at the moment, or will I regret it later.
This video was an absolute revelation. You found the right words and metaphors to explain the scarcity mindset...I was just avoiding the pain, all pain, with stuff, literally stuffing the pain away.
I totally relate to this. We grew up with out money so there was always the struggle to make ends meet. This was all compounded with the people hoarding in 2020 and not being able to get basics for about 3 months we needed for the care of an elderly family member, then in 2021 there were big floods in the middle of the country which damaged the freight train lines and the shelves were pretty empty for about 4 months. The big supermarkets ended up putting groceries on shipping container ships to get it over here. And then in 2022 there were more floods in a different area and we had another 3 months of empty shelves leading up to Christmas. The shelves were only full on Christmas Eve. This has made me really anxious about availability. Even post can easily take two or more weeks. Thank you for highlighting this issue. You have made it so clear and now I can see the problem I can work on it. ❤❤❤
I can definitely relate. I hate to throw things away because I think I won’t have the money to buy it again when/if I need it. Like art supplies we might need for a future school project.
Totally get that.
I'm so glad you explained this scarcity mindset in such an organized, understandable way. I struggled with feelings of financial insecurity for years even when I made enough money to provide for all my needs. I'm finally overcoming this and you and your channel have been a huge part of this "recovery". My husband has begun watching with me, because he saw your great practical suggestions that we can easily implement in our lives. Thank you for all you do!!!
I LITERALLY understood scarcity mindset for the first time in the way that made sense. This resonates so much with me!!!!! Spend quickly so I can get more stuff in case I run out of money and then running out of money to have scarcity again. Such a great explanation! Thank you!!!
You will not believe how often I have to breathe in and out those are the moments of realization
This is an amazing topic that is resonating with so many of us.
The Costco shopping experience is torturous yet the intermittent reinforcement keeps me going back to see if this or that item finally came in. How nice... they've turned me into a lab rat.
✅In putting out this video, you are providing a Public Service Announcement…Thanks ‼️✨❤✨ My husband and I both have this, and until now I struggled with “why”…now I know, and will be better able to spot what we’re doing, when it’s happening ‼️✨….also…your stories after the “end”….pure heaven for me‼️‼️‼️‼️
This is so helpful because I’ve been stuck in this mindset for decades. Ever since the pandemic, I hoard food, and it’s very hard not to see that as security.
Dollar Tree literally has that printed on all of their shelves!! "Get it now before it's gone!"
I grew up and lived my life in scarcity mindset. It took a long time and I still have to remind myself not to take in and keep “good stuff” that people are giving away. I got better with help from you, Dawn and Dana. Thank you! I plan to do some decluttering over the holidays because that’s when I have the time. 😊
This deserves a million likes❤
This is all GREAT advice..but, the ending is GOLD😂.
This is why I can't get rid of old cords and chargers. I'm afraid that I'll find what it goes to and I don't have the cord.
Same here.
I just found your channel. Bravo on exposing the crap that the manufacturers and stores impose on the consumer. I also appreciate your candor about hoarding and the emotional ties to “stuff”. You are a breath of fresh air. God bless ❤
Thank you so much for this video Cass! My parents struggled with money and early in my first marriage we struggled with money. I worked two jobs for as long as I can remember. I would pay off bills but then would be right back in debt from buying clothes and stuff! Since watching you I have had a huge mind shift. I throw all the catalogs I receive in the mail right in the recycling bin when they come. I don't even have the desire to look at them anymore. I donated 20 bags of clothes this summer to the Salvation Army. Still working on the closets as I still have things in my closet I haven't worn with the tags on that need to go as well. I am the same way with food. Fear of not having enough food causes me to over buy and then things spoil and go to waste. I'm working on that as well cause I'm sick of throwing money into the garbage. Thank you for all you do to educate us. It is greatly appreciated.
😂😂 That end story had me laughing out loud! That is so me and me husband! 😂😂
Yes! Scarcity in one generation will carry on for three future generations. It's in our genetic makeup. My five year old granddaughter asked me to help her declutter her room as she has seen me decluttering our house. I had just watched a video of yours and she was drawing at the table listening. She said she has too much stuff to manage. We took out 5 bags to donate to the daycare she used to attend. Thank you so much for all you do. It is appreciated.
Thank you for this! This is explains so much about my behaviors and making me aware of why I'm doing this! I always struggled financially and my husband goes through job loss frequently in his industry and instead of wanting to save paychecks my first instinct is to impulse buy. Plus I had bariatric surgery 2 years ago and feel my food addiction transferred to online shopping.
LOVE everything you said. A couple of other good ideas to stop the cycle is when you get paid, pay yourself first. Set up an automatic savings deposit, even if it is a small amount. Also, my husband and I set up an allowance for each of us to spend (or save) anything we want. Of course, pay all bills every month. Also, shop thrift stores as often as possible and think twice or even three times if you feel like impulse buying. Even though I have cut down a lot on extra stuff I still purge regularly and send it back out into the universe!😀😀😍😍😍
Goodwill is not a thrift store anymore
I love the little end stories 😂
Thank you for explaining Scarcity Mindset; been struggling with this most of my life just didn’t know that it had a name.
Cas, so thankful for you. The pandemic supply chain issues & inflationary price increases made this worse. Marketing totally takes advantage. It's even called scarcity or urgency marketing. You are the most relatable person - I broke a bulb the other day while cleaning the ceiling fan, and in my head I heard from one of your cleaning videos, "Joe...I broke the thing!" Am right there with you.
Your videos have impeccable timely! I was just talking to my husband about how are we always financially struggling. After watching this video, I realized that we both grow up with financial hardship and both experience ot as adults. This video really helped me put this perspective and I appreciate you gor that. ❤ Also, I never understood why you would have to be calm for someone to tell give you instructions. JUST SAY IT!! (in my best Beetlejuice voice) 😂
"stuff can't keep us warm" *immediate shot to a big fluffy pink blanket" 🤭
A heater and a sherpa blanket, or will keep me warm too.
You can't eat money. Some people are stockpiling as preparation for a disaster when the goods will not be available.