How Does Depersonalisation Disorder Affect RELATIONSHIPS?
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 5 сен 2024
- DPD affects all aspects of our life - but how does it impact our romantic relationships? (This video is also for people who don't have DP themselves but are in relationships with DP sufferers)
The ways in which DPD affects us vary between individuals, but none of those ways make relationships easier to maintain. So how can we help to keep relationships going despite the struggles?
What would you like to see discussed on this channel? What questions do you have about DP? How can I make this channel better? Help to drive the content - get in touch and send me your questions, opinions, ideas etc. I want to tailor this channel to you. :-)
Email: joe@dpddiaries.co.uk
Facebook: / dpddiaries
Twitter: / dpddiaries
...or just comment under this video!
There is now a charity for Depersonalisation. Based in the UK but operating globally, Unreal aims to support people with lived experience of the condition, offer peer support events, lobby the UK government, raise awareness of the condition within both society & medical circles, etc. I'm a board member, along with notable figures within the world of DP such as Jane Charlton & Dr Elaine Hunter, and with Professor Anthony David & singer-songwriter Dodie as our ambassadors. Please find out more about the charity & what we offer here: www.unrealuk.org
*Disclaimer* I am not a trained professional in any way. This channel is comprised largely of my own personal opinions & experiences as a DPD sufferer. I do lots of research about DPD and have spoken to many professionals - I endeavour to include their knowledge within my videos, but it's inevitable that at some point I may get medical facts slightly wrong. Please don't use the content of this channel for your own self-diagnosis...use it to learn about Depersonalisation, engage in discussion with others and - if appropriate - assist you in gathering information to then discuss with your doctor or mental health professional.
My boyfriend and I have been having a hard time explaining my DP. It never feels like I'm with him when we're together and the emotional blunting is awful. I want to be with him and I know I care about him but it's so hard because I come up with these crazy reasons for why I feel like I do when there's absolutely no proof but I still convince myself.
It's such a difficult thing to communicate, especially to a loved one. :/
At least you go and see your bf. My gf hasn’t hung out with me in 3 weeks :( I try to encourage her to get ice cream for a little and she just says “I just want to dissociate and pretend life is not real” :(((
@@Adubs808 I really hope you guys get through it okay. My bf and I are still together and I've been able to improve on my DP a bit, but damn it is still rough. :(
Exactly! Emotional blunting has messed up all of my relationships in my 22 years! My husband... children...parents...friends. As I get closer to getting better (through diet and detox) I have been able to see this....and become more human.
Yep, it's a nightmare. Glad you're well on the way to recovering from the DP though! :-)
What type of detox and diet do you do? My husband has it and he said it started when quote "my dumb ass listened to the doctors and my parents and took strattera for ADHD and it ruined my life and I suffer from DPD and derealization and panic attacks since I was 16" he is now 29 and stopped the stratera after the first episode. He's stupid smart but cant find research for this disorder and a natural solution, he also thinks that if he never exp this he wouldnt of had problems holding a job, wouldnt of dated the ppl he has and done the bad stuff he has done and would be enjoying life and being a more amazing husband then he is at times
I just went through a super messy break up. I’ve been trying to explain this to my (ex)girlfriend about how i cant feel love or anything for her and she took it completely the wrong way. I wish i would have seen this video a long time ago so i could show it to her. She’s convinced im some sort of abuser and it feels super terrible
It's such a horrible conversation to have to have, isn't it? :-( Sadly, people take it very much the wrong way sometimes - I can see how it might come across as nasty as it's never a nice thing to hear from your partner, but it really sucks when people jump to conclusions about us as people.
DPD Diaries I’m trough something similar right now ... He says his default settings are disconnected and numb and he has nothing to offer me ... he said he needed an space and time and I agreed because I wanted to respect it but it’s been 2 months and he doesn’t wanna talk or anything, he in someway decided it was a breakup and I’m feeling soooooo deeply sad. BTW we are in a long distance relation and also I made some mistakes too because I made him think I was not sure of moving together but now just imagine that I’m losing him I actually realized I don’t want anything but him!!! Please if you can talk to me DPD DIARIES you would help me to understand this.
Natalie Wells Im exactly trough the same ... I’ve just found DPD DIARIES because my bf broke up with me and I took exactly the same attitude as you “I understand you, I’m with you” but he is just numb and disconnected and seems like he doesn’t love me anymore :(
B S it’s been 3 months now since he decided to just break up and yesterday he just deleted me from Facebook ... I’m soo sad, he said to one of my friends that he doesn’t want me to be in a relation in which only one feels... but I can’t just accept it ... I’m still determined of going where he lives even if it’s for the last time or for getting back together ... Being in a long distance relationship is more complicated than what it seems. Add me on Fb As MARYKRMEN CHAMBI so we can talk and support each other
@@marykrmenchambi3392 listen I have to be honest with you, he’s hiding behind his DP. The reason you’re not together is mainly (not only) because of the long distance. Have you ever heard the phrase “Out of sight out of mind”? Sadly that plays a role in long distance relationships. He’s doing the “it’s not you it’s me” routine. He either had another relationship at the time or just wasn’t interested. Especially if he blocked you on social media. He might have been told to by someone else he was talking to. It sounds like he’s not the one who needs help. It sounds like he’s moving on. Most of all, it sounds like you’re the one who needs help. You’re coming across as obsessed (not necessarily a bad thing) and we all get blinders from being in love. Your comment was 6 months ago. I hope you were able to work it through. I was in the same situation. She lived out of state and she just grew apart from me over time. And I was hurt and obsessed. I loved her we had years. But the way I handled it was I stopped stalking her before I even started. I stopped messaging her. I stopped the pity posts on Facebook. I just kept it inside until time healed the wound. And guess what, she came back a couple years later wanting me back. But I moved on. It sounds like he’s using his DP as an excuse to not hurt you or make it any harder. But your story is the typical long distance break up.
I was just having a breakdown and this helped me out so much. Thank you.
That's good to hear :-) I'm glad it was useful in some way :-)
Hi are u okay now
I’ve noticed something that helps a lot is making plans ahead to do a fun activity, hopefully this helps and this video sums up exactly what’s going on with me I’m so glad I found it
Yep, absolutely - having something in the diary to look forward to can be incredibly motivating. Sadly, that's quite hard to do at the moment with the ever-changing Covid situation!
It’s nice to know that some partners want to understand how dpd and drd affects us and how they can help. My past partners were not that way and ended up finding it too hard to be together. I find it the hardest to start a relationship! Lots of work that I’m not sure how to do.
Finding a partner willing to work with & accommodate the DP can be tricky - but it's absolutely possible :-)
I feel like I’m almost there. Been having DP on and off for a couple years. I didn’t really stop the anxiety loops causing it until about a year in. So now I’ve had this past year where loops have been reduced as I’ve recognized them and worked on accepting the anxiety surrounding instead of resisting. Did really good last month for the first time in a while but was followed by a month and a half of feeling surrounded by symptoms again, but I’m trusting the process
I feel very socially awkward because I feel like I'm in a deep pit underground.
I'm so detached from reality that I seem very dull and boring, it's hard to have interests at many things. I often have lack of words.
Flat mood & emotions is very difficult to navigate our way through...I think the emotional blunting is much more difficult for me to deal with than the 'general' spaced-out feelings.
I really wish my ex and me communicated better about my DP and our other issues. It ended up feeling like she was just so disappointed and disgusted with everything about me, which just killed my heart so much.
It's such a hard thing :-( Sadly, a lot of people simply aren't able or willing to understand - especially when it's something they can't 'see' as such.
This is truly me. I’m going to a huge heartbreak right now and suffering from severe de realization and de personalization and trying to keep her at the same time. She says I’m lazy and boring because how he says I’m just trying to rest all the time from how I feel from my symptoms and anxiety. But she doesn’t know that and it’s so overwhelming to have to explain
It really is :/ Sorry to hear how badly it's impacted everything.
If she just criticizing you all the time just leave her useless a*s,you don't need her in you life if she just doesn't care about you
Love, marriage, relationships....it feels like these things have no meaning at all. I miss the time when they had. Without meaning everything feels just empty. I want to live but I don't know how
Stay strong.
Having conversations with a partner about those things is so difficult with the emotional blunting that can come with DP. Hope you can stay strong too!
Props for so many guitar amps :D
A DP sufferer here :(
One can never have too many guitar amps!! :P Music - and creativity in general - is a great tool for dealing with the likes of DP :-)
@@DPDDiaries yess :)
Since i got to music back again, i deal with this much easier
My boyfriend has DPD as well. We both suffer from the condition...
Unfortunately my english is not so good so that i can't tell about it like in german :(
Your videos are really good and helpful! Thanks for your work!
Sorry to hear that :/ But glad the videos have been helpful!
you are a very special man. I really felt every single word that u said. U suffered dp 10 years and i m only on my first year...i can t imagine....for us one day feels like an entire week and like you said it`s just exhausting. I hope you are better now and i m very happy to watch you on my computer thinking that despite all of your suffering u still got forces to record videos and explain in a very deatiled way what we delt with especially in a relationship....
Ah thanks Alexandre :-) Yeah, it's incredibly draining having had it for 12 years now - but I never give up hope!
It's great to see this... I have healed myself as well. Weedborn oils have helped me a lot.
What are weed born oils? I have had depersonalization for the last 27 years when I smoked pot at my highschool graduation party for the first time, I haven't been the same since. Thanks in advance for your response.
@@brielleanyez7113 It's CBD. Much better than THC weed
Thank u so much for this video. I've started seeing someone who has been suffering from DPD and DRD for years (he's 23 yo) and sometimes I feel so frustrated bc I wanna help but dunno how. He also already said that he feels he cannot have a serious relationship cannot love someone which makes me sad but I also appreciate how self-conscious he is about his condition. Besides that we r having a great time and I am so happy to have met a great person like him.
I think relationships with DPRD involved are certainly more tricky to navigate than most, but with constant communication and being sympathetic to what the other party is saying/feeling, it's absolutely possible to maintain it. :-)
my boyfriend is going through this,last week he said he wanted a "break" cuz he needed to be alone but i know he doesnt want to he said he doesnt know if he is in love with me anymore but i know thats not true,he has been suffering with depression for years but recently it has just taken a really bad turn,i love him and i know he loves me but i dont want to overwhelm him by messaging him... i feel like we can get through this but i cant wait forever for him to get better,im so confused and sad
I'm going through the same thing, I feel very bad. We're in a long distance relationship and that just makes things harder. he can't feel anything he can't feel the love hhe has for me but he tells me that he wants to be with me and that we have a future together but im so confused cause we see each other so often and we were actually going to meet soon but he doesn't seem to have any desire to come here
I don’t experience emotional numbness, in fact I experience hyper emotions and too many all at once. I go from many extremes to the other partly down to my dpd. Could you talk more about depersonalisation in terms of feeling hyper emotions, like you briefly mentioned in this video? Is my dpd still valid if I’m not emotionally numbed? I know it’s hard because you don’t experience those certain things but I’d love to see you talk about how it affects emotions differently other than numbing 🙂 it would really be appreciated if you could!
Yeah, you're right - it'd be very difficult for me to make a full video about becoming hyper-emotional with DPD, because I have zero experience of it. However, I do know that it's certainly the case that it happens for a lot of people, so you can definitely still have DPD and be hyper emotional - it's not less 'valid' at all. As I understand it (as I always say, I'm not an expert!!) there's two ends of the DP spectrum...anxiety and depression/low mood. I'm very much in the low mood camp & have few issues with anxiety - and it's that end of the spectrum where emotional numbing often manifests. However, the anxiety end is often associated with becoming hyper emotional - so I imagine that's where you might be. I'd love to involve guests on the channel in the future talking about how experiences with DP differ, so hopefully becoming hyper emotional will be featured in more detail at some point! :-) Hope this helps in some small way!!
I met this amazing girl not long ago. I suffer with dpdr from smoking cannabis and it messed me up so bad. My girl is the honestly the best thing I could ever ask for. She treats me so well she is adorable and is goofy and I love it. So I know it’s not her because when she has to leave mine it kills me. But when she is here I struggle so hard to just enjoy the moment. Its like I can’t fully feel the emotions and it’s the most frustrating thing
I certainly feel you on that. :-(
As someone who is in a relationship suffering with that,it a big bullet in my heart to feel like I don't love my man sometime
100% - the emotional numbing is one of the hardest things I deal with, especially in the context of relationships.
Thank you, this was very helpful to hear. Best of luck and blessings to you 💖
Did you recover yet Joe? I've heard good things about NAD+ IV treatment, thinking of trying it here in Thailand. All the best.
Jesus christ 10 years. I'm on year 4. You dont have it anymore? Or do you? But thank you for helping people ❤ nice to hear other views and for people who have or have had it
I do still have it, nearly 14 years on - but I never give up. :-)
My gf and I have spoken about her dpdr. I completely understand how she’s feeling and going through. Just wish she can get that motivation to step out
Thank you for your good explanation
Thank you so much, this is really helpful. Thank you.
No worries Alexandre - glad it was useful :-)
I got dpdr for like 1 months now and im madly in love with my gf i dont feel love but my body and mind says to love her and i still love her a lot but i dont feel it 😭ps she is helping me go past it and show me a lot of a affection and it really helps me some times i feel that warm Sensation when you are in love
Having a supportive partner is _the_ most important thing when accommodating DPD into a relationship, I think.
I only have DP episodes once in while after waking up, but last time that happend to me (a week ago) I literary stopped loving my boyfriend, like I can’t understand what love is or why I loved him, is that emotional numbness? Will I ever recover? Will i ever love him again?
You’re not alone! I’ve had this many times over many years, it’s unbelievably frustrating and feels isolating, I really understand. The best thing to do is to try and communicate with your partner, I know it’s hard but sometimes the anxiety of holding in all these uncomfortable feelings can heighten it, it did for me anyway. Alone time is also very important, so you can reflect without having that person in front of you, really tapping into how you feel. It takes time and I’m still dealing with it too, but I hope we can all find our ways of coping and getting past this xx best wishes xx it’ll be okay xx
hey could you make a video on what people youve been in relationships with be it partners friends and family have done that you felt worked the best as in ways of supporting you tho i know not 2 persons are the same and we all have different strategies trigger ect. it would be nice to know what people around you have done that made you feel supported as i believe they might be some very good guide marks as to what might help
and thank you for the video :)
Hi Kristian - yes absolutely, I can definitely make a video talking about that. I'll give it some thought and see what I can come up with :-)
@@DPDDiaries thank you it is much appreciated :)
Hi Kristian - just wanted to say I haven't forgotten about the video; I'm aiming to get to it in the next couple of weeks. Sorry for the delay - not been feeling great in myself.
@@DPDDiaries no problem im in no rush :) hope youll feel better soon :D
I struggle with dpdr (Not diagnosed) And it is sometimes hard for me to tell whether or not I’m in love or just very reliant on them. How do I tell the difference? Tysm
It's a very tricky thing - and it's something that I find I need to constantly 'just trust' rather than analyse too much. The concept of 'subconscious emotions' is very difficult to get my head around sometimes. I don't think there's any way to really tell the difference other than 'knowing yourself' and learning to trust your subconscious instincts.
@@DPDDiaries That makes sense, thanks!
I like someone, but sometimes the feeling just kind of disappeared, I still feel like is there but is blocked. Is weird and hard.
The emotional numbing is _so_ hard, especially in the context of relationships. It's one of the things I struggle with the most.
Can dpdr cause you to feel paranoid about your partner cheating? As I have other symptoms for dpdr due to smoking cannabis. And I can tell that my other triggers have been happening less and less however, I’ve been more and more anxious about my partner being unfaithful. I have become very hyper vigilant about her actions and sometimes I can see it perfectly clear that she is being unfaithful. However I can not make a decision to leave as I’m not sure if this is caused by my dpdr. This is really messing with me for the past 5 years and I haven’t found a healthy way of coping with these thoughts. At least when I find out that this is one of the symptom then maybe it will help me.
Personally, I've never experienced paranoia - and I've not really come across anybody who has said they think paranoia is a direct result of their DP. But I wouldn't want to say that with absolute certainty, and recommend you discuss it with a trained medical professional.
is it possible for a DPD sufferer to feel as if they are drifting away from all relationships (romantic/platonic/family/etc.) ?
such as during lockdown
Emotional numbing and a 'loss of the sense of self' are fairly core symptoms of the disorder - so you're certainly not alone in experiencing that.
This is Long Time
Can this cause the person with depersonalization( myself) the the feeling of not being able to feel emotion or love want to break up with the person? Because I did that and came back from this state and had no idea and no intention of doing that at all.
Hi Magma - replied to your email a couple of weeks back :-) Hope it helps!
@@DPDDiaries it did thank you :)
Hi I don't know what's happening to me, but does depersonalization affects your love to your partner?
Emotional numbing is certainly part of DPD for a lot of people - I definitely struggle to feel positive emotions.
I'm 10 and Im almost positive I have DPDR. I don't get good sleep anymore, I usually fall asleep around 3. I don't exercise often either, but usually having headphones on and staring at a big screen triggers it. Going to sleep will help though because you won't be having the moment once you wake back up likely-
Exercise can be very important for a good sleep schedule - tiring yourself out so you're able to get into a more refreshing sleep cycle is something that I've found very useful for helping me drop off at a civilised time; even though I'm certainly not 'into' exercise. Stimulating yourself with screens/music right before bed is also something I try to avoid - I don't know too much about it, but something about modern screens (I think it might be their blue light...?) is said to negatively impact sleep.
Thanks!
How did you come out of dpdr? U used to take some medicines or therapy?
I haven't come out of my DP, sadly - still trying different approaches.
@@DPDDiaries ohhh....take care...hope you recover soon....🙂
Dpdr is ruining my marriage
Sorry to hear it Evie :-( Relationships can be incredibly difficult to navigate