Overcoming Derealization & Depersonalization (DeRP)
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- Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024
- For all the exercises that helped me with recovery from derealization and depersonalization, check out my book: YOU ARE NOT A ROCK, wherever books are sold, like here on Amazon: bit.ly/youareno... (It's called THE MIND WORKOUT bit.ly/themindw... in the UK and Australia/New Zealand, DAS MIND-WORKOUT in Deutsch, ENTRENA TU MENTE en español)
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This was incredibly helpful ! To anyone struggling with dpdr, I promise it gets better!!
It recently got worse just when I thought I was doing better, I blame the antidepressants I’m on, I can’t get off them without struggling and the depersonalization getting worse
I feel this too I’m on Prozac and think it’s the culprit
Apparently not
@@vaderggsare you better now? I am also feeling the same thing for 3 months. I somehow was getting little better when i took the antidepressants and suddenly i think i am again getting back to it. So do these medicines helped you in your case?
@@arthgupta2817 I think it affects everyone in different ways, so don’t take my experience to you personally. But.. it was horrible for me, I’ve been sober for almost 3 years? And I still feel the affects, I’m probably gonna be like this for a while. Or life… sadge. But it’s ok, I mean it’s not, but what can u do right? dpdr is a problem for me, but I’m worried meds made something worse happen. you do u :) but I would advise to stay away if possible, nobody wants to be on meds forever. anyways, hope u have a good night :)
Dude you are awesome. Saved my life with your vids. Keep it up dude
Thanks, Harry!
@@everybodyhasabrain hi mark how can I get a one and one with you?
@@ESG13 Here are more details on the coaching work I do and first steps: www.markfreeman.ca/coaching/ There's a contact form there you can use to email with questions.
My obsession has always been losing touch with reality and that a random thought of something would take over my entire reality and i spend hours on hours trying to get it right in my head until i reach this feeling of derp which makes things worse because the very obsession feels like more of a reality with derp....ive had this all my life and i feel its impossible to stop but i have to say in all the years ive listened to various people talk about it you do give the best explanations im really impressed, i just wish i could break out of this constant vicious cycle because its held me back so much and causes so much physical tension and neck pain among other things i honestly tell people pure ocd is torture
Im just like you, i feel as if ill never recover from DR because im constantly thinking and worrying about how i feel. The only time my mind is distracted is when im with family or at work. When im alone i fixate on how i feel like im in a dream (more like nightmare) and have a dawning sense of reality. I'm having a hard time enjoying things i used to because of this worry. I tried to give myself an underlying sense of safety but it doesnt really soothe the thought of never feeling normal again.
Did you recover?
@@hungryburger6195 it comes and goes but like with all OCD it's a cycle when the derps not there the obsession is or the fear and anxiety are or sometimes there all there together I really believe that certain people are just going to suffer more than others and have accepted that I'm one of them but one thing is for sure the only way of getting any better is yourself no medication or other rubbish you truly have to change the way you think and I mean that in every possible way it's just such a hard task to not react to every negative thought or feeling or anything that creates the anxiety but I believe to achieve peace and progress it's the only way
Thank you so much man you brought me out of this mental illness ocd .there was a time when fear anxiety and suicidal thoughts stayed on my head all day long. I couldn't see any ray of hope on horizon. Your videos have brought my life back on track. I am recovering so well
Thanks! I'm glad you've found them helpful. Enjoy the steps ahead :)
How are you now?
Hey man how long were you suffering for and how are you doing now? I’d really appreciate if you could respond
How are you bhai
@@Nimbushaze he never replied 🙏😭
i can't even picture my own face in mind anymore
it's like i lost my eyes, my forehead, my whole frontal lobe
it feels so empty but so over active at the same time
It helped me to recognize that trying to get that certainty and picture specific things IS the compulsion. It's the same as any other checking compulsion. So it naturally makes us feel like we're getting the opposite of the feeling we're chasing. It's useful to cut out compulsions like that.
Mark Freeman thank you for your reply, i'll do my absolute best
Actually been struggling with this same thing recently, I constantly rub my forehead/face, to make sure my head is still there, it feels like I dont have eyes, this illness sucks so much ass but i know it's just a stupid illusion stemming from anxiety
Has this improved at all? I have the same thing. Cant picture memories well at the moment in my mind
Crying helped me so much and I did it just today
i need tips lol...
Your videos are so incredibly helpful. I feel calmer knowing I'm not alone and that this kind of thing doesn't happen to me only. OCD is truly an addiction
Thank you for this video. I really struggled with DeRP in the past, even trying to rationalize I was certain of me existing/being real, etc. Eventually I learned, with my therapist, that those kind of uncertainties are unsolvable, that I needed to accept that: we may be real, we may be not. And that is ok. We move on, despite it. I still sometimes struggle with it, but I feel I'm much better now.
I realize, when you said it, that my beliefs play a BIG part on the symptoms. Like, this day in my bed I looked to my closet and I felt it kind of "moving", and I accepted the feeling, the sensation, I stayed curious with it. "Nothing is wrong with this experience, I am having it". And that felt liberating. In the past, I have strongly judged myself when feeling those kind of things (and honestly, I still do that sometimes). Wanted to share that :)
It's so useful to recognize we have that freedom to make these changes. Keep it up!
Alberto Peinado I’m going through this right now. Just this fear and uncertainty about existence and whether anything is real. It is definitely scary.
Yeahhh sometimes I see things move as well or walls closing in on me, like I saw my picture frame and the words from it were moving off the picture it was weird
When i smoked weed in the past I was very anxious and had panic attacks from being high even super analytical. Same thing with a buzz or being drunk from alchohol. Bad times came from those
I entirely stopped drinking and smoking and I bought your book being going through this OCD intrusive thoughts for a month now I see major progress but i still habe the what if question here and there.
What if questions can be there! Just because the brain throws up a question, that does not mean we need to engage with it or believe it means anything. This video is on that topic: ruclips.net/video/LiPS8itp-I8/видео.html
The compulsive need to endlessly check everything in my house (taps, fridge doors, locked doors, small sounds etc) flew completely under my radar and I hadn't noticed any connection between these actions and my derealization until I just heard you say it. Now it's so obvious that there's a connection I can't believe I didn't pick up on it myself.
It is such a useful connection to see! The brain is just being logical.
My deralization is caused from being cold turkey from a benzo. It's been 5 months non-stop. It's has me housebound. I hope I heal from this torment :(
How are you doing
I’m 15 and about a month and a half ago I went to my first wrestling match. I’m a freshman and I became overwhelmed with anxiety. I think I had an anxiety attack. And ever sense then I haven’t been able to feel normal. My girlfriend then broke up with me which made things 10 times worse and I just want it gone. I want it gone so bad. I think it might be this but I’m not sure.
@Sai suman Bhuyan way better. My mom said it was depression and I overthink a lot. Still all rooted in anxiety. It took a while but it’s pretty much gone. My anxiety is still worse than it was before but as time goes on things get better.
@@lilmustache1799 how are you Doing now?
@@rez2874 good. Everything’s pretty much back to normal. Whenever I get to stressed the feeling comes back for a couple days but other than that I’m fine. I still worry and overthink things all the time but I’m doing pretty good.
Hey Mark how long where u stuck in DERP?
I have this thing where I say my name so I know who I am
Then I start thinking am I really me....and it causes me anxiety all day long ..and I feel like I'm crazy
But when I interact with people I tell myself I'm not crazy because I'm acting normal then I think am I normal etc etc..lol it sucks...any advice?
Edward Serrato I would like to know as well, in the moment when i’m interacting with people i can’t believe/understand if i’m acting normally? sounds weird when put into words haha
Lol yea me too I always picture my self and always think am I acting normal I'm I acting out of character...do u ever feel like that??
Edward Serrato yes! sometimes it’s not even in first perspective it’s in third, it’s really weird, like all of my memories are in third person?? nice to know someone feels the same
Yea me too funny for a long time I thought I was just wierd I have a relief I know what it is but at the same time I hate the facyed that I know because I have put a label on myself I think to my self how am I really if this derp is messing with me 24/7 like what is Normal and will I ever experience it! Get me?
Edward Serrato i completely get u, everytime i feel moderately normal or i briefly stop analyzing i always am brought back to over analyzing again and i feel super out of place & not having full control over my actions in a way? btw have u gone to therapy about it? i’ve considered going bc ive had it all my life but from the past year to now it’s been the worst it’s ever been
This is not forever correct
Are you healed?
TH C how r u feelin bro. I’ve seen u in a lot of videos comments about DP
Tom Cain i feel better but still feel off like im out of reality and all that bs im sick and tired of it
TH C I’m glad to hear you’re doing atleast a little better. What symptoms do you have
Tom Cain i feel my head like a balloon floating detached from my body and also my vision is fucked up sometimes what about you ?
i always felt that i was an animation and somebody was drawing my movements and everything around me was fake and just a picture. i always felt like i was being controlled by some imaginary animator and it made me do random things like jump or just stop in my tracks to try and break the animation trap
Thank you for your videos ! It is very inspirational that you take the time to educate and help others recover from their OCD.
:) Thanks!
Any chance that you can do a video on hypervigiance? I'm quite the hypochondriac and I struggle w/ always being altered and inside my head when it comes to my OCD, I struggle with monitoring my mental health and constantly check if I have other mental health issues
Dylan Jones Any of the videos I have up would apply to that. You could check out my video on mental compulsions, or the one called "Anatomy of a Compulsion", or any of the videos on cutting out compulsions. Try not to get caught up in the superficial characteristics of the fear. The fear that you have an illness is no different than the fears I mentioned in this video, like being afraid the world isn't real or you're not real. A fear is a fear. It's how we act that matters.
All i have to say is thank you. I have struggled with ocd for a year now and I stumbled across your vids in February 2020, and it helped me so much in dealing with pure o. Now I am here a year later feeling this horrible feeling from which I wish to discover. I started crying rn because It just hit me that you have truly helped me a lot with a handful of videos of yours. Keep doing what you are doing.
I'm glad you've found the videos helpful, Omar.
Question?????
Some ppl say meditating is not a good approach to dp because you are too self focused yet meditating dstresses and reducing anxiety reduces dp... what are your toughts about this?
I know you're not asking me but as a yoga teacher who's had mental health issues I'd say it depends on the meditation technique. When I had anxiety, progressive breath and body relaxation and awareness helped me. But when I had bad OCD contemplation meditation helped me understand the underlying fear and relaxation helped in moments of feeling the need to do something based on that fear. But what I do find is when I keep contemplating about my fears and things I've suppressed I can tend to feel derealization/depersonalization because it's almost like it's too much information that's not broken down enough to know what to do with it. So if someone is going to do contemplation meditation I'd suggest they go into the meditation focusing on one thing like "why do I react this way to this?" rather than letting the mind wonder to multiple issues. And if you are up for digging up more dirt of the unconscious then let the mind wonder but once you find something write it down and if you notice it's becoming too much to process then do a relaxation meditation to recenter and come back to the new issue later.
You're awesome! Keep this up :) "derp" is horrendous I've had it over a year now thanks to ptsd
You're awesome for tackling this! Keep taking steps forward!
twins!!
Thanks for all you do Mark!! You have helped me so much in my journey. Hope you are doing well. It's eye opening to realize that it's not about the symptoms at all. It's about the patterns you need to break free from.
Thanks, Ashley! I'm glad it's helped on the journey!
Mark Freeman hero
ashley thats SO true. the compulsions are the problem right.
Hi! Im 13 and im feeling all of the things that you said, its super scary.. like the thought is in my mind every day.. will it ever go away? All of these thoughts have started since quarantine...
It's totally possible to overcome these challenges so it could really help to work with a skilled therapist to learn the mental health skills that can help with these experiences.
So we'll explained, I'm having it right now since the quarantine in Argentina.. thank u so much, u are amazing 💖
I feeling this recently aswell, this pandemy brought so many mental problems for me. How are you feeling right now?
@@Rodrigao.BR7 sorry to read that.. i'm still dealing with dp mostly than dr, I'm on the 5th month I think, my emotions are there but the feeling that i'm an alien to myself it's so scary.. i'm trying to accept the feeling and do normal life.. how are u?
@@Rodrigao.BR7 same:( this pandemic put me in a new state.
nella me to! it started in april for me during quarantine.. how are you doing now?
@@terrysanghera1680 Hi terry! I would say that I'm a little bit better, I push myself to do normal life even I feel terrible and super disociated.. I realized that I can have a normal life so I try to accept it, but I feel the same way, and at times is still freaks me out.. what about you?
This made me really understand what I am going through, and It relieved me from the symptoms
thank you so much man, i know im 4 years late but i started feeling "fake" about a week ago and it led to some servere anxiety attacks. I feel very unable to focus and mostly not in control of my thoughts. This really helps, thank you x
You're right on time!
@@everybodyhasabrain can i ask something. Why i see certain people can heal or overcome a problem but certain people can't? Like what make them cant while others cant
@@dutcharmy It depends if they want to make the changes or not. It often requires changing unhelpful beliefs and desires we're chasing. Sometimes people don't want to change that stuff. For example, if somebody really wants to chase a feeling of being clean, then they will always have physical sensations that they are dirty. If somebody craves "clean" thoughts and they judge thoughts as good or bad, and they want to get rid of bad thoughts, then they will naturally always have lots of bad thoughts. That's not a problem with the thoughts, but with the things they're chasing.
@@everybodyhasabrain sorry im a kid can u make it simpler it's kinda confusing for my age
This was really comforting. Dealing with this is so lonely at times, it feels like you are the only person in the world. I’ve just been trying to acknowledge that I feel this way and move on with what I was doing beforehand. But sometimes it can so overpowering, you feel like you’re going crazy. But thank you so much, this was nice to hear💗💗
Thats bizzare but i hope at the final stage you just become misterio. 😊
First of all I want to thank you! I don’t know if you remember me, but I’ve spoken with you in comments several times over the years. Your videos quite literally saved my life with OCD. There is no ERP therapy in my area, and your videos helped me (mostly) do it myself. Probably not perfectly, but that’s kind of the point, right? 😂
My question is, do you consider DP/DR a form of OCD? The reason I ask, is that I suffer from both OCD and DP/DR and I feel like the thought processes that drive both are so similar. I personally do believe DP/DR is nothing but another “theme” of the same, ugly OCD monster. And I know from your videos that themes don’t actually exist! Just llamas 🦙😂
I'm glad you've found the videos helpful, Lindsay! Yeah, I wouldn't see it as OCD -and- DP/DR. DP/DR is a natural result of engaging in compulsions. It would be like saying I hit my thumb with a hammer AND I have a problem with pain in my thumb. They're the same problem.
For me it’s being emotionally numb and I can’t connect to myself or my family/friends. Everything feels off and unfamiliar. My house doesn’t feel like my house, my family doesn’t feel like my family etc. I also can’t feel time, seasons, weather etc. It’s like I’m in a void. My vision is tunnel vision as well.
I know nothing about the world or my family has changed rationally but it still always feels this way
How are you now?
I've been searching for weeks and months to try to find a video to be able to better help my wife with derealization depersonalization and this is an amazing video you've helped out a lot this video explains exactly what she's going through and helps me better understand so thank you so much
Struggle with derealization / depersonalization fears around traveling? Checkout my travel mental health blog: www.themindfulfieldguide.com/travel-mental-health/
Thank you for this video Mark, it really helps to hear someone else's experiences. 👍🏻 Thank you.
Hi Mark ,
Thank you very much for the helpful video !
I’m 31 years old and experiencing stress and anxiety , I started to feel this disorder , a weird feeling that nothing it’s real around me but still working and living my life since I have kids and responsibilities, it’s very hard to deal with this , I’m having thoughts that I might have onset Alzheimer’s but I don’t have any memory problems , it’s just that this disorder it’s so rare to me that sometimes I think I’m going crazy and fears on getting Alzheimer’s disease are constantly there. I’m going to see my Dr soon and get an EEG test and MRI to rule out any dementia but again I’m not having any memory problems or thinking or solving problems, I’m sure it’s my anxiety and stress playing tricks on me.
Thank you for your videos
i feel exactly like you i also think it’s my anxiety because i don’t have any memory loss i know you posted two years ago but how are you feeling now ? any advice ?
Jocelyn Marrero I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this , it’s really an awful feeling. Honestly as I remember back them I was facing some personal problems which I attributed to those feelings. The only way to get rid of this and believe me I’m seriously talking it’s to forget about it as easy as it sounds but truly just forget about it and get busy and active, don’t think about it at all and you’ll see the difference. Every time you’re getting to feel like that immediately start doing something and get your mind busy.
Thats all I can tell you , So far I’m doing pretty good now and haven’t really experience it anymore.
Lili A. thank you so much that’s exactly what i’ve been trying to do when i feel that way & it does help since my minds distracted
Lili i am the same exact way. please message me so we can talk?
@@lilia.7644 have you ever take treatment regards this??
Hai mark .. actually i am feeling this since last month ....i felt this in my child hood ..but again i am feeling like this.. i am 21 now .. i am getting fear of this.. I couldn't handle my fear here...how can i not to be fear of this and take care of my life .....
It's ok for a fear to be there. Trying to avoid and control a fear can easily get us into a bunch of compulsions that fuel the experiences we're afraid of. Instead, we can give our time and energy to actions we want to be doing in life, and bring the fear along for the ride.
Thanks alot for this Mark. Atleast you show that you can overcome it.. instead of these other dudes on youtube who say your stuck like this for life.
😁🙌
Hello, I am in a very bad situation. I would appreciate your answer. I feel like I have lost my personality. I feel very strange when I go out. Everything is just so weird, I don't feel anything for my family,I know my memories, but they stay away because I have broken away from my personality. Even if I recover, I don't know how the void created by this will be filled. I'm only 16 years old... I've been living with this for 6 years.
This is all very common to experience. It can really help to work with a skilled professional to start learning mental health skills and different ways to handle all of the stuff our brains can throw up.
@@everybodyhasabrain Is there a solution to this or is it just cope?
I struggle with this dissorder after a Mexico City earthquake on 2017, after I felt I almost got killed I tried my best to not be outcommed by anything ever again. Long story short, I made my best to be certain of things and that drove me to a little anxiety, it got worse because I comsumed lsd microdosis (Anyone reading this, don't do drugs, I really regret my self) and after those microdosis, the girl I was dating bit me(I'm serious, it was while having intercourse), so... It was a very, VERY painfull bite, didn't like that so that was a turn off and went my way to work. Before having my breakfast in a mall, I started smoking, I was very hyped but felt chill and happy when I was finally out, just with my heart rate very up, so I smoked and when I turned my head up, I started feeling dizzy and had a panic attack. From that moment that happend many, many, many times. I went to the hospital many times and I always had that feeling of uncertanty, depersonalization and derealization and after that fear, panic attacks came along. It was awful. Went to terapy, psychiatrist, olistic medicine and although they helped a little I sitll have them like... every 6 months or so and they just happen when I sleep very little and force my self to solve things while tired.
What worked for me was, excercise, very good quality sleep, be with friends and feel love. You obvously can't have them all every single time, but you have to learn that you must be strung and overcome things by accepting and being ok with your self no mather how hard things get, the love you have is what holds you.
I hate going through this as a kid
So if i get this right: to make my der stop i have to stop focus on the things which gives me the „real feeling“ ? For example i do sport to get the real fealing and only for that, should i stop that? And i got a big addiction i should also focus on that? English is not my main language so it was hard to follow. Btw thanks dude for talkin so awesome, i cant really talk about that with someone but you dont treat it like you are crazy if u have der, thank you
Damn, this is a brilliant breakdown of exactly what I do. While I don't have the problem of things not feeling real, the anxiety I experience does leave me feeling disconnected from my good emotions, and therefor not feeling like myself. This includes small but important emotions like the little jolt of joy and love I normally get from seeing my beloved cat, or my favorite tree in the yard, or fixing my morning coffee...the little things that make life worth living and that I USED to have access to before I got this chronic, disconnecting brain fog of anxiety. And I hate, hate, hate, hate this disconnected feeling. It feels exactly like a bad drug trip. I even have this feeling in my dreams! But it's all a response to scary "what if" feelings of doom and despair and meaninglessness. Those thoughts and feelings are the source of the disconnection. I just need to work on getting my brain and body to stop having the anxiety response to them. Your channel is finally giving me a path to that. Thank you!
It sounds like you're making some useful insights on where to make changes and the experiences to welcome. Enjoy the steps ahead!
You are such a great explainer with the added benefit of communicating warmth and encouragement. Thank you for all these videos.
Thanks, Melissa!
I have this and it makes it so I don't remember how to listen to music. I'll sit there listening to it but it's just like organized sounds. It's strange, I can't figure out how the lyrics and mental imagery and melody and emotions fit together like they used to.
It could help to see that the "figuring out" is actually the problem. It's the same thing that happens when somebody does a compulsion like check that the stove is off. Eventually, even after they check and they see it's off, they're not certain it's off. The more we chase something, the more it teaches the brain to make us not feel it. It's the same pattern at work with any addiction. Chase the high you crave, get more of the withdrawal you hate. So it could really help to stop chasing the certainty you're looking for around music.
@@everybodyhasabrain Thanks I never quite thought of it that way I'll take a break for a while
So if I tell myself I like dpdr and start chasing it, it will leave?
That can be a helpful technique IF you've already started doing the compulsions to check and judge and control feelings. But there's more to it: like cutting out those compulsions and looking at the other compulsions in our lives that fuelling the dpdr. For example, if you look at the pattern of dpdr, and then look at other areas of your life, you'll likely see the same pattern but with things you can control--like chasing a "right" feeling before doing creative work, leaving relationships the moment they don't feel "right", wanting to have things done in a particular way, avoiding situations where you don't have control... there are lots of different ways this stuff can come up. But it helped me to recognize that the brain was just latching onto the dpdr because it was more of the same behaviours I was doing elsewhere. It just cares about the compulsions and here was a way to get me doing the compulsions even more! So it helped to see that dpdr was an outcome of how I was checking, judging, avoiding, and controlling throughout my life. It itself was not the problem.
On my 4th year dealing with this. Still holding on. It’s not all bad, it’s definitely made me care less about what others think because hey nothing’s real right? It’s such a hard thing to deal with for the most part though. Thank you for videos like this, they remind me I’m not losing my marbles
How are you now ??
Thank you so much, this video has helped me in an incredible way
You're welcome!
Watching this video was like looking at myself in the mirror
This video by far is the best video on dpdr thank you
Thank you, Enid!
Does Anyone have trouble speaking sometimes like your too overwhelmed? It feels like You’re not fully there like You’re gonna float away or fall over. Life seems like a movie or dream/Nightmare!sometimes. Anymore it’s most of the time. Someone please let me know if you experienced this or something similar and maybe how to overcome it. I’m Really hoping to overcome this nightmare.
Checking for reassurance like this is the type of compulsions that fuel these issues. It's entirely possible to ditch these challenges but it does involve learning new ways to interact with the stuff in our heads, and that'll be about doing things like speaking and not trying to check and control. Maybe it won't feel "right". That's ok, that's a feeling we can have while we give what we want to give.
If you can access a good workbook or work with a professional, that can be a useful way to start learning new skills.
Mark Freeman Thank you mark I was just wondering if anyone has trouble speaking sometimes and if any of this thing relate to them. I get it tho I will try these strategies. Just knowing I’m not the only one feeling like this helps a bit tho I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy thanks again and god bless.
i don't understand english. I am italian. Can you write here the tips for overcome depersonalization?
I have all of this :<
Also I think that’s OCD
( the repetition, which I also have )
It's totally possible to overcome all of these challenges and leave them behind!
Is it normal to feel like completely disconnected from your toughts and your emotions? Like i think inconsciously
Checking if feelings are normal is an example of the compulsions that fuel that disconnection. So it could help to look at the thought processes and rationalizing and beliefs, judgments, and desires, that went into posting that question. I'd see that as the stuff that's fuelling it.
Mark Freeman but it’s not my fault. Like i distract myself but it’s like i’m thinking inconsciously without using any word. Because when i think consciously it does not make me any effect.
I'm a little confused. So do I start just ignoring it and living my life? Like don't think too deeply or...?
Living your life sounds great. What I'm talking about in this video is that it's compulsions that lead to the experience of DP/DR so if that's something you're struggling with, cutting out the compulsions fueling it while living your life would be useful.
Mark Freeman
I'm struggling with DP/DR but what are some of the compulsions that can lead to it?
Alex Majin Things like checking to be certain about things, checking online for reassurance, trying to control health anxieties, rituals to feel "ready before doing something, checking if other people have the same symptoms as you--all sorts of different ones. but they're basically all about trying to be certain. it helped me to recognize that the more I chase certainty, the more uncertainties I'll experience, at ever increasing levels of severity and complexity, even about reality and my own existence. it's a totally natural result of engaging in compulsions
Alex Majin Things like checking to be certain about things, checking online for reassurance, trying to control health anxieties, rituals to feel "ready before doing something, checking if other people have the same symptoms as you--all sorts of different ones. but they're basically all about trying to be certain. it helped me to recognize that the more I chase certainty, the more uncertainties I'll experience, at ever increasing levels of severity and complexity, even about reality and my own existence. it's a totally natural result of engaging in compulsions
Mark Freeman
I see. I do that a lot. So if I stop doing those things I'll recover from DP/DR?
Hi Mark. Man this is so true. I see that this video was posted a while ago. I've always had OCD since I can remember. I've had so many different intrusive thoughts and have had derp for years on and off. I've asked myself whether I exist, everyone else exists, weird but I've even doubted whether I'm alive, or have I died, I thought random stuff like maybe there's a double of my boyfriend etc... all thoughts. This came after severe stress (which I also did to myself, it was about health anxiety) You're channel helps so much in dealing with these thoughts, just wanted you to know that, and I actually feel so alone because usually you hear of people who fear stuff that can happen in future time, my mind goes all over the place and then I think that stuff ALREADY happened.
Hey, i can relate to that, its scary as fuck.. mine started after smoking weed and having a very bad high
"I think that stuff ALREADY happened" this happens to me tooooo omg
@@McBlueskai it does suck. It is scary when I think about it today! I still feel sad. I can't believe I made it through at that stage.
@@cristin97 Yes, I would think I accidently hurt someone or that I died already! Urg, this can get really intense.
@@kylexox yeah its suuuper uncomfortable. but i think the key is approaching this uncomfortableness, accept that they're just thoughts and feelings and everyhting is temporary and we have power only over our reaction towards it. if we fear abour losing our minds our mind will be constantly checking about it, so if we stop caring about wether were mad or not, the check will eventually stop and so will the anxiety around it! :) we're in this together ❤
I'm in love
So if I try to convince myself that I'm real and standing here on earth, it's normal to get that uncertain feeling and feel that I don't even if u want to feel real
Yes. Trying to chase that certainty only teaches your brain it should worry about the opposite uncertainty.
The difference for me is I experience the derealisation without compulsions. I don't do anything with it, it's just terrifying
You're describing the compulsion right there
Been having it for about 3 months and it sucks
Hayden Patstone I had it really bad for awhile, but it goes away alot to some degree, the time it takes to go away differs from person to person
Jack Johnson did it go away?
Did it go away ?
Hi mark,. thanks for the video. If I am not uncertain whether if I am real and whether if the world is real, should I just allow this uncertainty to exist and stop checking? what is the right thing to do?
What do you want to do?
I just want to carry on my life, I just want to be sure it is alright for me to carry on my life..
I wouldn't recommend trying to be certain/sure. But if you want to get on with your life, that is something you can do. You can be uncertain and live your life. It helped me to recognize that if I want to be certain, I have to put my life on hold and I'll never get certainty.
I thought i lost my memory
That's a thing you can think!
I get scary thoughts sometimes I’ll get through this pray for me
Has it been any better for you? I’m struggling with this right now and I’m really scared
@@ashlyne7927 yes I don’t have it anymore it will go away just be present enjoy the moment right now you will be okay
@@ruthgasca3368 oh my gosh thank you so much. This gave me so much hope
@@ashlyne7927 Yeah man i know it's tough but it gets Better with time... These are the hardest days of my life... But it Will only get better from now bro!
@@duartemorais9063thank you so much, is appreciate you for this
Mark, How do you 'throw out' unhelpful beliefs?I think what is difficult for a lot of DP/DR sufferers is that they tend to worry and obsess about existential issues, for some reason the it's like blowing something open in your mind that cant be closed (I've read the neo-cortex lights up more on brain scans of those with DP)I suppose the difficulty is learning not to respond negatively to these large uncertainties, reducing anxiety and that in-turn will switch off this response?horrible thing to deal with, but I'm hoping I'm on the right path
I find that the brain changes beliefs through actions. If you experience a feeling that you don't like but you welcome that feeling and you make space for it as you do things you value, that can be a helpful way to change your beliefs about that feeling. It was also helpful to me to be very broad about how I tackled these experiences. And a big part of that was understanding the stories I was telling myself about myself or the symptoms with which I was struggling. We're often building our own barriers. For instance, in your comment there, it could be useful to question the stories you're retelling--that these things are difficult for people experiencing DP/DR, that this is something about how the brain is functioning, that it's a horrible thing... I use to tell and retell stories like those but it was helpful to recognize they were in no way helpful to actually getting over any of the things with which I was struggling.
Mark Freeman that honestly makes a lot of sense... I've just started reading your book this week, and I love your approach to things; very refreshing!
Kid Arafan Thanks for reading!
thank you for this I felt a massive amount of relief and will try to cut out these habits I make
Thank you very much Mark! I'm sure you have helped so many people in the world through this as well as me. just wanted to say thank you again.☺
Thanks Jiyoung!
Hi Mark! I’ve experienced this a lot lately. I’ve dealt with OCD for a while, but randomly a few weeks ago a thought popped into my head “what if none of this is real?”... this FREAKED me out. I have been overanalyzing existence and why we’re all here. Its like genuinely making me afraid of why and how I’m here and if this is all real. I’m starting ERP this week. When I’m around people, I’ll suddenly get so scared and be like “WHY?” Like why are we here? Even around my boyfriend I question if he’s even real!!! Ugh its awful. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he makes me the happiest. I guess my OCD had robbed me of the most important thing to me- the human interaction and experience. I’m in school to become a psychologist, so being connected to others is the most important thing to me. But this obsession and derealization is stripping me from any comfort I have around others. Thanks so much for your videos!!!
You can see the pattern of how OCD works in this. You called it out there: "being connected to others is the most important thing to me." I view it as a compulsion to chase a feeling of "connection", just like any other feeling a person chases, like safety, relief, etc. Chasing those feelings and trying to control them and check on them is what fuels the intrusive thoughts, obsessions, feelings of derealization, etc. Your brain is just trying to help you get the thing you want, like with any addiction. You chase the high you want (connection), so your brain has to give you ever increasing levels of withdrawal (the lack of connection around others), which grows in severity and complexity. Eventually, like with any addiction, you're doing things constantly to try to feel that feeling you want but all you're left with is the withdrawal. So it can be very useful to cut out the compulsions. I wouldn't see it as OCD robbing us. Research shows it can help with recovery to take ownership. It helped me a lot to see that it's all about my actions. If I engage in the compulsions, it's going to follow a very predictable pattern every time. The more I chase that feeling, the more I'm choosing NOT to have it. So it could really help to look at some of these things you see as desirable and consider they're actually the problem. I have a video on the Anatomy of a Compulsion that might be of use for starting to look at desires and beliefs and judgments: ruclips.net/video/VeynBEFcRd4/видео.html
hi charlotte, hope you're doing okay, can u update me with ur situation
Hi Charlotte, how are you now?
Really helpful to understand the dERP is just a catastrophic extension of the compulsion of finding an answer. Whether or not it was dERP, it was very disturbing... it still is but its got less of a hold.
I'll keep you updated.
How am I supposed to figure out what my compulsions are if I have no idea. I just have the thoughts not much comforts me other than letting the time pass. Commenting While I’m watching and I’m in the final part of this. Everything feels unreal. Didn’t realize I was compulsions before maybe all the online searching
Compulsions are the things we do to cope with, check on, and control uncertainty, anxiety, and other unwanted experiences. For example, when you say that not much comforts you other than letting time pass, I would say you can see a lot in there about how compulsions work. Building mental health, just like building physical fitness, isn't comforting. Have you ever been to a gym and thought: "Wow, everybody looks soooo comfortable right now." If we approached physical fitness as being about comfort, we end up with very poor physical fitness and everything becomes uncomfortable. You can imagine if somebody's goal was to avoid sweating, at first it would seem very useful, but then they'd end up with everything making them sweat. So taking an approach to mental fitness that's similar to physical fitness: about pushing into and seeking out challenging experiences so we can build the skills to do more, can be a useful shift to make.
what about getting through chronic fatigue syndrome along with the DP/DR
Mine has never been that bad in anyway, luckily. I have never not known who I am or checking things to make sure they are unplugged and all. I feel for you though man, that's ashame and I feel so bad you experienced that. For me it's just a feeling of unreality. Literally, sometimes I feel 50% here 60, 70, I just don't know a cure?! sometimes it goes away but it's been here for a while man! what can I do? vitamins?? it's annoying an a terrible feeling.
Eric Evans Everybody's compulsions might be different. It's not what a person is doing but how they're doing it that matters. So it could help to look at the compulsions you're engaging in and cut those out. Judging your experience as feeling 50% unreal is an example of a compulsion. There are likely other practices feeding into that as well.
I have PTSD and I’ve been struggling with this for along time. I was feeling a lot better the last 16 months, my dumbass took mushrooms and put me back into a state of DP/DR. I know this will pass but it’s so god damn uncomfortable and scary :/
This is a great opportunity to cut out the compulsions around the feelings coming up. It helped me so much to WANT to have uncomfortable feelings. Hating on it and checking on it just fuels more of it.
@@everybodyhasabrain so true. Its a weird thing man. The more you think about and focus on it the worse it gets. Its like a self fulfilling disease. Yoga and meditation and sensory exercises really help. Really cool to hear from you, you really helped me understand what I was going through as a teenager all those years ago thank you for all the help, it has seriously been monumental in my recovery. Already feeling much better.
Thanks for this video man this strikes real close. I tried to think about and imagine unreality so I could disprove non-existence in my mind and ended up with very severe dp. Still have it for a year but this was the best explanation for me! Makes sense to search for the reasons and not the symptoms.
You're welcome, Mike!
Has it happen also to you that when you started cutting out compulsions, your hands and legs kind of feel like shaking?
Il mio Vlog di Libri Anything can happen. It's just like withdrawal from any addiction.
Thanks Mark :) It's awful, 'cause my brain is constantly searching that thought even when I'm relaxed...It's like: "Oh you're too relaxed, why don't you start thinking again to your obsession?".
I find myself having to start everything again after what seemed like an entire month free of obsessions.
l
Hi can i ask you if i have weed induced or depersonalisation basically i stopped smoking cigrattes 1month ago and i had my last weed 1 month ago but 7 days from now i just randomly got high for the past days and i felt like when i talk im talking randomly
I find it more useful to tackle the compulsions, like checking for reassurance, checking feelings, trying to chase "right" feelings, certainty, etc.
@@everybodyhasabrain plz help 😭
I know this video is old but genuinely thank you so much. I experience constant dissociation and I was almost certain that I was completely alone and I couldnt find a single person who felt similarly. This video has helped me so much 😭
I'm glad you found it useful!
Amazing video! Thank you so very much mark!
You're very welcome, Lavinia!
Hey Mark, I experience Derp in conjunction with my OCD. You say it is the compulsions that cause derp but for me it is the obsessions. The only quick (irrational) way out of the anxiety of derp is doing the compulsion or perhaps quickly distracting myself. I really don’t know of any other way out other than letting time do it’s magic to help me reorient myself. However as I’m writing this I remember breathing! Maybe a conscious breath is enough to reorient us when we’re out of wack. I think I just answered my own question. I guess it just sucks when you’re in the middle of something like a convo and it’s not easy to just leave to breathe then come back where you left off. Hope to hear from you.
I found it helpful to see that it's like any addiction: the DeRP is the feeling of withdrawal. The compulsions are the high. But like any compulsion, they aren't relieving the withdrawal. They're causing it. The more we do to react to and control DeRP, the worse it gets.
For me I always look at my hands
Watching this with derealzation anxiety attack was not a great idea
That was the BEST idea! That's how we get to cut out the compulsions that fuel derealization.
You remind me of Ed Helms
Hey mark, so when in recovery, there will be moments where I don’t engage in compulsions or uncertainty but sometimes I will feel normal, and sometimes I will have moments of derp, so how do I know if I’m in the “uncertainty high” ? Because it can feel like it gets worse, even when I’m trying to recover, and stay uncertain, I leave the thoughts alone, so what are some tips for this?
This actually sounds like engaging in compulsions to me. Are you working with a therapist or following a workbook or something like that?
Mark Freeman no, I’m doing this alone at the moment because I can’t afford any alternatives, that’s why I watch most of your videos as they’re the most helpful I’ve found.
Did you recover?
@@hungryburger6195 yea it doesn’t affect me anymore, it gets better. This mans RUclips channel helped a ton, he really taught me to deal with my pocd, and he showed me what depersonalization was so i can learn how to deal with that too
@@Ace-ps8mw glad to hear it. Had ocd all my life but last summer had a panic attack and haven’t felt the same since. Would you recommend working on the ocd and stopping the compulsions?
I’m going to Colorado from Texas in two days. I’m pretty sure I’m agoraphobic and I’m pretty scared to go. It’s hard for me to go down to the grocery store on my own, much less drive 15 hrs to another state and stay over night. I feel like I’m the only one who feels this way, but I feel like I’m on another planet sometimes and it’s just the freakiest feeling and I feel like idk where I am and that I have no comfort zone to get away from the imminent doom caving in on me. I also feel I may have depersonalization/derealization, but I’m not sure. It just feels like I’m watching a movie with myself from up high and it’s a disturbing nightmare and I’m just flying through space completely out of control and feeling about as terrible as I can feel. Going with my gf, hoping for a miracle to keep it all together in front of her and hopefully make it back with my mind still intact. Really hoping for a response before I leave 😂 but no pressure, appreciate your videos and I’ll definitely update once I make it back.
So no response, but I’ll update anyways incase anyone reads and wonders what happened, it was definitely a mental struggle for me. But I drove 16 hrs spent two nights in Colorado, then drove 16hrs back with my gf. I was scared and second guessing everything a lot of the time, but I found enough strength to make it through and had some fun as well. On a lighter note I got a lot of really awesome pics as well. So I think moral of the story, take chances, find comfort in yourself no matter where you are (easier said than done), don’t be afraid to fail as you will live to fight another day, and try to live in the moment and enjoy yourself. I’ll check this soon to see if anyone has any questions or anything
Hi Joseph, sorry I did not respond before you left. That's great you went! It is really helpful to do things like that and not let random brain indigestion puppet us around. You can do the things you want to do in life with any thought or feeling! Enjoy :)
@@everybodyhasabrain Thank you for response, Mark!
Hey Mark. Mindfulness has been going great and so is being mentally healthy. Recently though I just had a few question to get your opinion or not to see if this is a compulsion itself.
An issue I've always had with me is I feel like I have many alternate personalities. One version of myself I'm more feminine and sweet. Another one I see myself as being kind of more tomboyish and speaking deeper. Then what happens is ill realize it and always try to control myself so I can be the feminine sweet version. But I do want to train myself to speak higher and not. But then I question if speaking higher is really part of my values or just reaction of a judgement from myself not being more feminine sometime? Should I just let this thought pass and accept it or should I listen to my brain? One thing I remember you telling me is if we try to challenge a thought it'll be thrown more at us.
Hi Susie, Uncertainty around who we are and what we do is totally normal. Although we might feel an urge to get it "right", it's a process. Trying to engage in compulsions to control how we perceive ourselves and how we think others perceive us can lead to a lot of frustration and struggle.
This doesn't make any sense and why are you smiling
It is genius and I'm so happy I cut out these compulsions.
I feel like my brain ya far away or part of my brain is missing or stuck and my emotions are non existent for the most part.
Feelings!
what about not being able to find value to actions. Like identifying the assumed and learned moral values or knowing an activity or action should have a determined kind of reward but not being able to perceive it as such. Mainly because the symptoms themselves provoke a state of observation/judgement of all existing things and concepts. Theres kind of a loop there no? You say focus on things that feel valuable, but what if there's nothing that feels really valuable for any other reason than a learned habit? Not genuine but superficial. Kind of like going to church because grandma says so but you're not at all convinced of either the (subjective) positive or negative outcome of this action.
**convinced of or emotionally affected by
Often, when we're deep in a hole struggling, it's difficult to identify values. So I found it useful to just pick some values connected to a path I might want to take. Then I can just try out those values and see if they take me in a direction I want to go. If not, then I can pick new values and change directions.
Hi Mark. Is OBE a part of depersonalisation? Is it normal to feel it when having an anxiety attack? Or is it just an OCD thought?
It helped me to see that this is the kind of checking and judging and labeling and reassurance-seeking that fuels these challenges. Even that you know the acronym OBE suggests that there's a lot of compulsions happening online. It can really help to cut out the compulsions. The more check and try to chase certainty, the more we create these experiences we don't like.
Mark Freeman Thank You :) The mind likes running it’s own race..
Hi have really gone backwards in the last few weeks Im really depressed and have lost almost all of my short time memory could you advise ,
What would you like tips on?
How did you end up with the last name freeman?
Birth and bureaucracy.
oh my god........ too relateable thank you
Excellent video. Thank you!
Did you get it from weed? Was yours 24/7 for three years?
I took Thursdays off. So just 24/6. But in all seriousness, this kind of reassurance checking is the type of compulsion that fuels it. Checking for certainty. Having very precise requirements that can't be satisfied. We just apply the same approach to our physical sensations and experience of reality. So it was useful to see that I needed to approach experiences differently.
Mines 24/7 for 3 years wth I thought I was the only one
Thank you so much.
great vedio... thanx a ton👍
Great video Mark. I get a lot of those feelings, I also get a feeling where the world feels like a thin veil of glass, it's horrible. I feel like I could put my fist through it and my world would just shatter.
It is great to have feelings! What's wrong with having that feeling of it being glass?
@@everybodyhasabrain thanks for response. I guess there is nothing wrong with it, it's just a little frustrating at times. DDD is just so vexing, because it's so bizarre. Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna die, or that I'm already dead, or that I'm just slipping away. I'm working hard to overcome it, I've been on medication many years for severe anxiety, but DDD is a new symptom for me, I'm just trying to eat a healthy balanced diet, meditation, breathing exercises etc.. Hopefully things will improve in time.
Thanks Mark.
@@brettm5472 It really helped me to cut out compulsions around this stuff. I didn't approach it as separate from anxiety. It helped me to see that trying to control and check on feelings like anxiety and trying to "fix" those unwanted experiences is what fueled the DDD. it's useful to cut out the compulsions!
@@everybodyhasabrain my therapist is trying to get that across to me at the moment. The more I let it consume me and overwhelm my thoughts the worse it gets.
Thanks so much, Mark.
Amazing breakdown
Thanks!
thank you very much mark I understood more things about "derp"..too bad I didn't see it earliar before I reached the point where I don't even feel real anymore and I don't know how to treat that although ur videos helped me understand my condition alitle bit more
Meebo Meebo You don't have to "treat" it. the point of the video is that feeling of not being real is a direct result of the compulsions you're engaging in. Cut out the compulsions if you don't like that feeling. Like if somebody was hitting themselves in the head with a hammer, they don't need something to treat the feelings that causes. They need to stop hitting themselves in the head with a hammer
That is very useful advice and I will figure out my compulsions and stop them from now on thank you Mark just 1 more question does OCD cause this "derp" disorder? I'm just curious cuz they kinda have the same pase
Meebo Meebo Can you jump in a pool without getting wet?
NO lol
Can I just say you are one of the greatest people on the planet earth thanks for helping us
Anyway to email or dm you on Instagram
I have an Instagram account and do weekly Q&As there: instagram.com/markwfreeman
Twitchy 93 you still have this ? I’ve seen you post on a lot of videos . Has it gotten any better for you
hey I'm not sure if you'll see this comment but I've struggled with dpdr and anxiety for about a year and a half. When you say that chasing the feeling of certainty is part of the problem I get really confused because with the moments I have felt most certain and connected with people and everything around me, I've also associated it with my purpose/meaning of life. Like I want to work in the film industry and create art but I feel I can only be happy with what I've created if I feel certain and connected with it. It kind of makes me feel like I guess more depressed because I want to do things that I'm passionate for and feel certain but struggling with this is making me feel like I have less meaning if u know what I mean? Could u give any insight on this please?
It's great you can see the beliefs and connections you're getting stuck on here. Believing that you can only be happy with what you've created if you chase and control some feeling is a belief that's probably not going to be very useful to you. I'd see it as only natural that approach would create things like dpdr. It's like if somebody says they can only leave the house if they feel safe and calm. So then they keep doing lots of things to get that feeling they want. Which naturally only leads to them needing to do more and more things to chase the safe, calm feeling, but all they end up with is less and less of it. So I found it really helpful to shift the focus to actions and doing the things I value. When I was struggling with mental illness, I was trying to write a book but I couldn't, because I spent all of my time chasing those feelings. Getting over these challenges helped me to focus on creating and giving the things I wanted to make for people, and now I've published one book and am writing my next one. So if you want to get into movies and create things for people, that's wonderful! There are many ways to do that without needing to do compulsions and chase brain stuff.
@@everybodyhasabrain Thank u so much for this reply and this video! really helped me shift my mindset. enjoy the rest of ur day/night wherever u are and stay safe :)
Does it effect your memories and nightmares
This is the type of checking compulsion that I was talking about in the video. This chasing reassurance and certainty is the stuff that fuels it.
Mark Freeman I’m scared I might have amnesia deassoiatiom or PTSD. Because why do I feel stuck in the now like no sense of time or what day it is and not really recoding memories and keep retellling myself who I am and feel like a moving robot and everyone else looks like a moving body to me. Is that normal also with depersonalisation for it to effect your memories? It’s been a month now and it’s not going away when I wake up.
But you're engaging in the behaviors that I would see as fuelling these issues. So I wouldn't expect it to go away while you're doing things like checking memories, checking feelings, reacting to fears and trying to be certain about them, going online for reassurance, trying to give yourself reassurance by telling yourself things or bringing up memories, etc. It helped me to recognize that chasing that relief I thought I wanted was actually the source of the problems I hated.
Mark Freeman it seems so hard to get rid of all those compulsions, like I have those but when you say don’t reassure yourself, what does that mean? I usually say something like “even though I’m uncomfortable (or feeling disconnected) everything is okay exactly as it is).. idk it just seems we have to do so much to get out of this overwhelmed and traumatized state
Can PTSD cause DP/DR?
I'd see them as the same set of compulsions.
Yes ptsd does cause that
Oh thank God.
Recently I've been "running out of steam"
But I believe this actually is occurring because I'm burned out or stressed.
However it's very difficult to tell because my burn out doesn't feel tired it just feels like I'm pulling back into my own head and I can't feel my own body or actually SEE the things I'm seeing or HEAR the things I'm hearing.
I really don't like it. And recently I'm in that state all the time. 24/7.
Im taking a mental health day tomorrow so I can do the things that bring me back like usual. Like going outside and running around.
But I don't know... I just...like...I wasn't panicking...but I put my phone down and looked around my room and I couldn't FEEL. I didn't feel alive. I started squeezing my hands really anxiously and I kept closing my eyes and trying to remember where every joint in my body was.
I don't do that. It's not normal for me to be anxious or to panic. So I thought I should do some research.
I didn't know this had a name.
I'm so happy it does.