The power-play and the back-and-forth is partly an age thing (Elio is 17; Oliver is 24, so they really are in different places in their lives and that probably would give anyone pause), partly a cultural thing (Elio is used to living in a sexually liberal European atmosphere with pretty laissez-faire parents; Oliver is a "typical American" - read: repressed), partly a social thing (the film and book are set in the 80s, so AIDS, the fear and backlash against gays, etc.), partly a respect thing (Oliver is a graduate student working under Elio's father and graciously being invited to stay in his house; he's not exactly going to jump at the chance to ravish this man's underage son under his roof). All of this kind of works itself out to what we would expect to happen: Elio risks it and goes on to create a life for himself as an openly gay man in a rapidly changing world and Oliver returns to his white-bread life, where he marries a woman and forges a safe, fully compliant future that avoids all unnecessary mess. For Elio, this summer is a stepping stone to becoming his true self. For Oliver, it is his last chance to fully be the man he knows he is before putting on the disguise he will wear for the rest of his life. It was doomed from the start and that makes it all the more special.
In my head, the "call me by your name" bit means mutual recognition. To ask someone to call you by their name and vice versa is to ask them to share themselves with you, and offer to share yourself with them in return. It means "I recognize myself in you, and want you to recognize yourself in me"
It's actually a reference to an old greek myth. It says that, in the beginning, there was a creature with 2 heads, 4 legs and 4 arms, and it was a vision that was so perfect and symmetrical that it was almost perfect. Zeus didn't like how close to perfection it was, so he split the creature into 2, with their heads facing away. That's the reason why we spend our whole lives trying to find "our other half", our soulmate. The myth says that, to find the other half, they should call the other person by their own names. If they responded, they were the right person, aka the other half, the soulmate.
@@erikperhs_ I've heard so many different interpetations of this scene and none of them have really clicked for me. But this really makes sense. Thank you!!! 🙃
Yep, that is fitting considering that Elio was discovering himself and so insecure that when he met Oliver he was intimidated but at the same time sees himself in Oliver. It is a story of a boy coming of age and recognizing his identity and be recognized.
I’m completely straight - but this is one of my absolute favorite films, precisely because of all those small, specific acting choices by Elio that were just so relatable and REAL. We’ve all been that neurotic, overthinking, infatuated teenager, regardless of the sex of our crush. That’s what makes this representation so powerful, bridging experiences across communities!
i saw straight men and women cry after seeing the ending scene. ppl can understand the feeling when you can't be with someone you love no matter what circumstances are or what genders you are. we all human beings can understand how it feels to not be able to be with someone we love. love is love and its no gender when it comes to love
I know it's been two months but I'm gonna comment anyway: Reading the book, you'd see that Elio is not innocent at all. You know all this time he's silent in the movie? Well, in the book it's just him thinking about how much he desires Oliver. It even gets nasty sometimes with some thoughts that involve pissing and other kind of dirty things, just because Elio is obsessed with everything that comes from Oliver, even if it's ugly. He tries many times to impress Oliver too! This fight for power that you see between them is just Elio trying to seduce and captivate Oliver while Oliver provokes him too.
If I remember correctly, James Ivory's screenplay originally had voiceover narration by the older Elio (as in the novel). I believe it was composer Sufjan Stevens who told director Luca Guadagnino that he should cut it. This was a very wise decision. In the film, we see Elio's actions and reactions, while his inner thoughts and feelings remain for the most part inscrutable and "uniterpreted." And omitting a retrospective narration by Elio levels the playing field a bit, so that we have a chance to perceive Oliver's actions for ourselves, not just how Elio interprets them. Also, the photography and music already give the whole film a strong feeling of nostalgia; having the narration would have surely overloaded that element.
I can't think of another film that had such an effect on me. It made me smile and then cry and sob until I could barely breathe. It was an emotional rollercoaster.
SO many amazing moments throughout this movie but the conversation with his father at the end, and the scene of Elio sitting in front of the fire in his feelings.. UGH just so powerful. Gets me every time.
I would highly recommend the novel that this movie was based on. Absolutely gorgeous. Also, random recommendations for the films Maurice and Were the World Mine. Call me by your name reminds me a lot of Maurice, which was also from James Ivory from 1987. Were the World Mine is a small, independent musical, which reimagines A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
Did you read the sequel? I read the teaser chapter which I enjoyed, but the book has such mixed reviews. Wondering if it's worth it. Maurice is such a classic. Now I'm sitting here thinking of how to compare it to CMBYN. Aww... Were the World Mine is so beautiful. It's like a musical hug!
@@TiaTruly I’m in the midst of reading the sequel now. I don’t think it has quite the magic of the 1st book, but it is still worth reading (so far at least). Maurice and CMBYN feel similar to me, as they say a lot without dialogue. Also the pure lushness of the scenery and the beautiful filmmaking are strikingly similar. But I feel that way about most of the Merchant Ivory movies. Maurice to me still has one of the steamiest scenes, particularly considering that both characters are completely dressed and they don’t even kiss.
I think it's interesting that some of the iconic scenes were actually completely improvised by the actors. The lick on the lips was improvised and the foot kiss was improvised too. It shows how much the actors felt the chemistry.
The first time I watched this movie I was just in love with everything about it, but I just knew I was missing out on some underlying themes. I highly recommend looking up an article called 10 Things You Might Have Missed in CMBYN (no personal connection lol, and I'm sure there's others). The juxtoposition of young and old becomes much more obvious (Elio runs when Oliver walks; Elio says his name many times, while Oliver draws his out slowly to savor). Even the peach scene, which most of us view with some cringe, takes on a completely different tone (and even heartbreak) when you know the story of the Chinese emperor and the peach. Anyway, this was more than I meant to comment, but the extra info made me love the movie even more on my next watch :)
I am IN LOVE with this movie! Own it and watch it all the time. I think it reaches beyond sexuality for a lot of people I have introduced it to. WHO of us wasn't Elio and had an Oliver in our lives or vice versa...it's so REAL and the family is so REAL. I had a family friend while I was the Elio and their son who was older would have been the Oliver I dreampt of this. It's a real story of every teen or young adult life!
The last scene is my favorite. Ellio was grieving his loss but at the same time starting to jump to that age where he can explore more life. It’s like overcoming the fear of facing the vastness of life and being excited to just go on a journey. It was an extended scene of timothee just expressing so many different emotions in one scene. It’s like understanding him and relating to it without even a monologue. It was so perfectly executed and proof of how elite his acting was. He truly internalized it and perfectly delivered.
I just watched it with my mom ( I’ve seen it prior a couple of times ) and it wasn’t just a movie it was an experience. I didn’t feel like a side viewer I felt like I was there feeling everything that Elio and Oliver did. A truly magical film .
It is important to watch CMBYN in the context of 1983 and the world, they way it was then. Another important context is that the age of consent in Italy is 14. Elio was 17. I was kind of surprised this was such a short video and no mention of the sublime music. My favorite scene is the waterfall scene, when Oliver is finally "free" to be himself, running up the hill, calling out "Oliver" and Elio calling back Elio.
honestly i never thought of cmbyn as a coming to terms with yours sexually movie, and always saw it being based more around falling in love with someone and the nervousness because of it. i think it’s because, in the novel and in film we see more of elio wondering if oliver likes him and not elio wondering if he even likes oliver himself. and feeling shame because it’s someone with who sees you and accepts you so openly. i think that the setting of the movie (italy, open minded parents and even other gay characters) also made me think that
After I watched this movie I had to read the book as well. And in the book u get to know what Elio is thinking and it made me love the movie all the more. Since Timothey did it so well
Thank you guys, such an emotional movie. I am a mum of two boys and I hope that I can be like that beautiful father when my kids start exploring & have their first heart felt experience.
The father's speech at the end makes this film what it is. Overall It was a beautiful film, but plotwise they condensed/glossed over some things from the book; the sexual nature of their relationship is more clearly laid out in the novel, and things like the peach scene have more context, instead of just happening out of the blue ln the film. Two offbeat gay film suggestions for you: Parting Glances (1986) a quirky and witty film about a happy gay couple in NYC in the 1980s (it's Steve Buscemi's film debut). Also, Big Eden (2000), about a NYC artist who travels home to his native Montana home when his grandpa suffers a stroke. It's a gentle comedy/drama, it reminded me of the TV show Northern Exposure in a way. It's like, what if Charlie from Heartstopper never came out, and instead moved to London to lead a gay life away from his family? (BTW your Heartstopper reactions are amazing, I've watched them more than once - thanks)
Oliver ISNT the one in control. Elio is. The juxtaposition of Elio being younger than Oliver is the real control. Oliver is terrified of that imbalance, which is why is hesitant initially. It’s only when he leaves and gets engaged, that that power shifts. Elio is still very much in love with Oliver who has seemingly moved on.
We can see it many times, like the scene in Elio's secret spot where Oliver says: "You're making things very difficult for me" after Elio's long and deep stare. (Sorry English is not my first language).
For me this film, like you said, gives me a platform to put my own experiences into it. And that is, if I think about it in retrospect, pretty bad. While I was a teenager and fully like this protagonist naive and going with everything, a lot of fully grown man used me as they liked. And it was definitely not ok. Not in any way... So basically for me this film is romanticising a serious problem. Because mostly closed people go through stuff like that, with older and more experienced guys and can't talk to anybody about their experiences. No one, like parents or whatever, had a close eye on the situation and gave me a warning or help... And that's the point... This can be much more problematic than people think
I hope someone's recommended this already, but I think you two should watch Maurice! It's directed by James Ivory, who helped adapt CMBYN. Maurice is an absolutely stunning film with very little modern commentary. Hoping you two could share your thoughts on this one day!
@@AStoryWorthTelling I love you both, super insightful and thoughtful commentary and entertaining as well. I am convinced your viewership and subscribers will grow and grow! Much love
The first time I watched this movie, I didn't get a thing. It took me the second time to get the little things that makes part of the bigger story(I've watched it more than 10 time.. Lol) . It is absolutely amazing; one of my favorite movies ever! The ending--I cried hard. 😭😭 All the actors were amazing
Omg same! Words can’t describe how magical this movie was and it’s my favourite movie of all time and it’ll always remain so. Mystery of love us my favourite song as well. Nothing can make me feel the way CMBYN did and I’m glad people continue to watch it and talk about it to this day.
I have not watched CMBYN yet. I actually own it on DVD. Between jobs 1 and 3 I'm very time poor (hence why I'm only watching this now) but given your commentary on this film I might have to make the time to watch it!
How about Episode 4:of I may destroy you? I think it's the best show I've seen in years and that episode illustrated consent (or lack thereof) in our community
I, too, loved the film, but wish it had been a little less tame - like the book. Guadagnino showed the passion, but didn't go as far as the source material did. Still, we should be grateful for this sensitive and artful movie.
There is an old movie from 40 or 50 years ago called "Death in Venice" that involves a much older man obsessed with a beautiful young man who is vacationing with his mother in Venice. It is based on a novel of the same name by Thomas Mann. You might enjoy that movie too.
Death in Venice is a certified cinematic masterpiece, but to today’s audiences the story might be akin to watching the paint dry. Still, every queer person should know it.
My favorite part about this film..besides the emotional side..is how unapologeticaly real and and raw it is, especially the physicality ..before I actually saw it..I thought it was going to be the older seducing the younger, was kind of cool to see the reverse..cause I was like at 17 for sure lol
react to Holding The Man ♥️ released in 2015 its an Australian gay movie. met with wide acclaim.based on real life story of two lovers getting diagnosed with AIDS
Anyone else see the inverted-colour monument-climbing flashback as oliver imagining facing scrutiny of society in living this relationship with elio openly? Ie contrasting the beautiful now with his imminent return to real life. The laughing smiling young man in the flashback seems scornful.
Great music from 1984- in the 2 book, Find Me- they do meet up again and spend the rest of their lives in that Italian villa. Because of Armie Hammer’s scandal it never was made.
Love love love your comments and reflections! I don't know if it's been said here, but it is interesting to take in account that at the time the story takes place, in America (where Oliver comes from) homosexuality is still very much criminalised. Whereas in Italy, it has been legal for over a century, almost 2 centuries specifically in the area where they are. So there's also a big difference here between the two characters and how they approach their sexuality.
I so enjoyed your review of the movie that touched me greatly. Enjoy your point counterpoint and appreciation especially about this film. It is been some 40 years since I was where Young Ellio is And it gets it so right. I knew the first time I watched it I would watch it quite a few times and over for years I have. It’s so wonderful and lush and sweet and warm and ultimately cold yet Ellio is being warmed by his memories and the fire. You both were especially sweet reviewing this and I appreciate that. I am still loving your channel and I’m always glad when a new video breaks. By the way you both are very sexy in your own very distinct ways. I wish you both love.
Have you read the book by Andre Aciman? It's not necessary, the film stands on it's own but the book fills in a lot of gaps they couldn't include in the film. The father's monologue is almost word for word from the book.
It’s also awesome watching this coming originally from northern italy. So I know Italian so sometimes the background Italian confuses my oh ya listen to English this is American film lol
Free Fall and God’s own country are both movies that use brokeback mountain as inspiration. I would absolutely love it if you two could give those a look! They are both on hulu plus, and god’s own country is also on netflix!
Honestly, when I watched this film, I was just like "what kind of ginormous shit have I just watched?" The relationship between Elio and Oliver is just unhealthy. Oliver is an adult who knows what he wants in his life and is responsible of himself and of his acts. Elio is a teen who doesn't know really who he is and who he wants to be in the future and who is under the responsability of his parents! It's illegal you know? It's called ped0philia. I understand the whole thing about coming into terms with what they are, what they love, and how it's perceived by the world, the struggle of being homosexual in a period like the 80's and even now, but when they became lovers/s3x friends, they just lost me. I'd understand if they were good friends and supportive with each other during the whole film, but Oliver was just a piece of shit and Elio just wasn't prepared to face that type of behaviour from someone he really cares about.
While it is a beautifully done film and the acting is steller. The story is well crafted tale of a young man's awakening I just can not get past the age gap and the power dynamic between the two. It just makes me feel icky. The book while gives more insight into Elio'a internal thoughts and the film dose a good job at building the relationship, I just can not shake the ick. Overall it is a fantastic film the dose bring me to tears everytime I have seen it.
real life is sometimes icky and no one pitches a fit about the power imbalance in dirty dancing or any other hetero film with the same age gap. not every film is supposed to be morally pure or cinema would be boring
@@sammysoppy3361 Actually for me I never liked the imbalance in dirty Dancing either, granted I was too young to understand it when i first saw it as a kid but as a I grew older it did creep me out, But I do get what your saying.
At the end of the movie, Oliver gets married, I feel a bit different than you two about Oliver and Elio being in two different sexual evolutionary stages in their respective lives. I think that Oliver fell in love with the youth and attitude given off by young Elio and whatever he was feeling while in the company of Elio, he felt Elio’s need for physical intimacy and provided that, did Oliver love Elio? In a way he did but not a love that leads to life long commitments.
Hello guys .this is amazing movie I love it on of my favourite.Can I share with you guys my First gay movie it's call "Shelter " 2007 its a little bit cheezy but really grab my heart, specially the music.You can watch it and tell me what do you think. xx
The book wasn't great, there were some really odd bits and it had a very 'teen angst' edge. The film was far better. Can't remember whether the father came out to Elio in the film or not, but it was an interesting element in the book. I hope there's no sequel, but, I think, for the right reasons. Other films, most of which were, I think, done on a budget, but I hazily remember them being worth a look: 'Were the World Mine', 'Shelter' (2007), 'Weekend', 'A Single Man', 'Breakfast With Scot', 'Priscilla Queen of the Desert', 'Beautiful Thing' (1996 (!)), 'Gayby', 'Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List', 'The boys in the Band', 'Those People'. Hannah Gadsby's 'Nanette' was incredible, and she was also in 'Please Like Me', by Josh Thomas, which was great, but not something to watch if you're down.
The scene with Elio and Oliver’s bathing suit-try to listen to the audiobook-it explains everything Elio was thinking. Love the movie-cried my eyes out, in a good way.
France!!! The guy on the left speaks like he really doesn’t understand the story that well.. and talk about the scenes stop telling your experience! The scene Elio watching Oliver dance-that was THEE moment Elio knew he was in.. completely. Oliver was raised differently- to be in the closet, Elio was raised differently.
My two observations about this film (which I mostly love): Armee Hammer is just terrible. He is like a sexless wall of marble that Chalamet keeps throwing himself against to no effect. I don’t believe anything Hammer shows or says regarding his affection for Elio, and he kills the chemistry between them. What’s most interesting to me is how the director shoots Elio in the way that movies have always shot beautiful young women-with a reverent and objectifying erotic eye. At the same time, Elio has a lot of agency at different times, making for a fascinating tension between his innocence and his male power. From that point of view, it’s quite a radical queer film. Just too bad they didn’t cast Chalamet opposite someone who wasn’t so scared of looking gay.
I didn't like this movie. Plot is flat and charackter development is non existent- we don't even know why they are together.... Elio is spoiled and Oliver is manipulative ...( the movie is just unrealistic) Brokeback Mountain and God's own country did it better or maybe Maurice or Moonlight.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I can't stand this film, it's beautiful in its cinematography, the bits of acting are great. But, yeah, there is no plot, and it's massively drawn for hours for no reason. Also the older character should not have been played by a 35, nearly 40 year old when he's meant to be 26 if that... they're both great actors, they just shouldn't have been cast for this age gap. It's just bad, it's beautiful but terrible at the same time and I don't know how and it does my head in.
![Megan Thee Stallion - Bigger In Texas [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QxTkZTLWdo4/mqdefault.jpg)
The power-play and the back-and-forth is partly an age thing (Elio is 17; Oliver is 24, so they really are in different places in their lives and that probably would give anyone pause), partly a cultural thing (Elio is used to living in a sexually liberal European atmosphere with pretty laissez-faire parents; Oliver is a "typical American" - read: repressed), partly a social thing (the film and book are set in the 80s, so AIDS, the fear and backlash against gays, etc.), partly a respect thing (Oliver is a graduate student working under Elio's father and graciously being invited to stay in his house; he's not exactly going to jump at the chance to ravish this man's underage son under his roof). All of this kind of works itself out to what we would expect to happen: Elio risks it and goes on to create a life for himself as an openly gay man in a rapidly changing world and Oliver returns to his white-bread life, where he marries a woman and forges a safe, fully compliant future that avoids all unnecessary mess. For Elio, this summer is a stepping stone to becoming his true self. For Oliver, it is his last chance to fully be the man he knows he is before putting on the disguise he will wear for the rest of his life. It was doomed from the start and that makes it all the more special.
leave the other comments some bits,you just ate the whole cookies without even leaving a crumb😆
In my head, the "call me by your name" bit means mutual recognition. To ask someone to call you by their name and vice versa is to ask them to share themselves with you, and offer to share yourself with them in return. It means "I recognize myself in you, and want you to recognize yourself in me"
Perfecty said ❤️
It's actually a reference to an old greek myth. It says that, in the beginning, there was a creature with 2 heads, 4 legs and 4 arms, and it was a vision that was so perfect and symmetrical that it was almost perfect. Zeus didn't like how close to perfection it was, so he split the creature into 2, with their heads facing away. That's the reason why we spend our whole lives trying to find "our other half", our soulmate. The myth says that, to find the other half, they should call the other person by their own names. If they responded, they were the right person, aka the other half, the soulmate.
@@erikperhs_ I've heard so many different interpetations of this scene and none of them have really clicked for me. But this really makes sense. Thank you!!! 🙃
I love this.
Yep, that is fitting considering that Elio was discovering himself and so insecure that when he met Oliver he was intimidated but at the same time sees himself in Oliver. It is a story of a boy coming of age and recognizing his identity and be recognized.
I’m completely straight - but this is one of my absolute favorite films, precisely because of all those small, specific acting choices by Elio that were just so relatable and REAL. We’ve all been that neurotic, overthinking, infatuated teenager, regardless of the sex of our crush. That’s what makes this representation so powerful, bridging experiences across communities!
This is a love story more than anything and a beautiful one at that. It's relatable to all and should be...
Really cool that a straight guy can relate to this movie that well, and be so open to it.
Same here.
It's not just a queer love story.
It's a love story.
❤
i saw straight men and women cry after seeing the ending scene. ppl can understand the feeling when you can't be with someone you love no matter what circumstances are or what genders you are. we all human beings can understand how it feels to not be able to be with someone we love. love is love and its no gender when it comes to love
I know it's been two months but I'm gonna comment anyway:
Reading the book, you'd see that Elio is not innocent at all. You know all this time he's silent in the movie? Well, in the book it's just him thinking about how much he desires Oliver. It even gets nasty sometimes with some thoughts that involve pissing and other kind of dirty things, just because Elio is obsessed with everything that comes from Oliver, even if it's ugly. He tries many times to impress Oliver too! This fight for power that you see between them is just Elio trying to seduce and captivate Oliver while Oliver provokes him too.
This is blatant Greek pedersty being promoted. Trying to blame a minor is even more detestable whether it is fictional or not.
now it has been 2 yrs!
If I remember correctly, James Ivory's screenplay originally had voiceover narration by the older Elio (as in the novel). I believe it was composer Sufjan Stevens who told director Luca Guadagnino that he should cut it. This was a very wise decision. In the film, we see Elio's actions and reactions, while his inner thoughts and feelings remain for the most part inscrutable and "uniterpreted." And omitting a retrospective narration by Elio levels the playing field a bit, so that we have a chance to perceive Oliver's actions for ourselves, not just how Elio interprets them. Also, the photography and music already give the whole film a strong feeling of nostalgia; having the narration would have surely overloaded that element.
I can't think of another film that had such an effect on me. It made me smile and then cry and sob until I could barely breathe. It was an emotional rollercoaster.
SO many amazing moments throughout this movie but the conversation with his father at the end, and the scene of Elio sitting in front of the fire in his feelings.. UGH just so powerful. Gets me every time.
Same! Get emosh every time!
Those two scenes got to me in such an emotional way. I couldn't get this film out of my head for months after seeing it. The feelings were so intense.
The father's speech deserves an Oscar, in and of its self.
I would highly recommend the novel that this movie was based on. Absolutely gorgeous. Also, random recommendations for the films Maurice and Were the World Mine. Call me by your name reminds me a lot of Maurice, which was also from James Ivory from 1987. Were the World Mine is a small, independent musical, which reimagines A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
Did you read the sequel? I read the teaser chapter which I enjoyed, but the book has such mixed reviews. Wondering if it's worth it.
Maurice is such a classic. Now I'm sitting here thinking of how to compare it to CMBYN.
Aww... Were the World Mine is so beautiful. It's like a musical hug!
@@TiaTruly I’m in the midst of reading the sequel now. I don’t think it has quite the magic of the 1st book, but it is still worth reading (so far at least).
Maurice and CMBYN feel similar to me, as they say a lot without dialogue. Also the pure lushness of the scenery and the beautiful filmmaking are strikingly similar. But I feel that way about most of the Merchant Ivory movies. Maurice to me still has one of the steamiest scenes, particularly considering that both characters are completely dressed and they don’t even kiss.
Please please do Maurice, I beg you, there's a restored print out now on DVD. Baby Hugh Grant is a snacc.
I think it's interesting that some of the iconic scenes were actually completely improvised by the actors. The lick on the lips was improvised and the foot kiss was improvised too. It shows how much the actors felt the chemistry.
The first time I watched this movie I was just in love with everything about it, but I just knew I was missing out on some underlying themes. I highly recommend looking up an article called 10 Things You Might Have Missed in CMBYN (no personal connection lol, and I'm sure there's others). The juxtoposition of young and old becomes much more obvious (Elio runs when Oliver walks; Elio says his name many times, while Oliver draws his out slowly to savor). Even the peach scene, which most of us view with some cringe, takes on a completely different tone (and even heartbreak) when you know the story of the Chinese emperor and the peach. Anyway, this was more than I meant to comment, but the extra info made me love the movie even more on my next watch :)
Thanks for this! Always so many details that we miss in great movies like this 😇
I am IN LOVE with this movie! Own it and watch it all the time. I think it reaches beyond sexuality for a lot of people I have introduced it to. WHO of us wasn't Elio and had an Oliver in our lives or vice versa...it's so REAL and the family is so REAL. I had a family friend while I was the Elio and their son who was older would have been the Oliver I dreampt of this. It's a real story of every teen or young adult life!
The last scene is my favorite. Ellio was grieving his loss but at the same time starting to jump to that age where he can explore more life. It’s like overcoming the fear of facing the vastness of life and being excited to just go on a journey. It was an extended scene of timothee just expressing so many different emotions in one scene. It’s like understanding him and relating to it without even a monologue. It was so perfectly executed and proof of how elite his acting was. He truly internalized it and perfectly delivered.
I just watched it with my mom ( I’ve seen it prior a couple of times ) and it wasn’t just a movie it was an experience. I didn’t feel like a side viewer I felt like I was there feeling everything that Elio and Oliver did. A truly magical film .
This film brought me back to my teen years filled to the brim with gay panic as well 😂
this movie got me through depression after a break up of a five year long relationship. basically it saved my life
It is important to watch CMBYN in the context of 1983 and the world, they way it was then. Another important context is that the age of consent in Italy is 14. Elio was 17. I was kind of surprised this was such a short video and no mention of the sublime music. My favorite scene is the waterfall scene, when Oliver is finally "free" to be himself, running up the hill, calling out "Oliver" and Elio calling back Elio.
honestly i never thought of cmbyn as a coming to terms with yours sexually movie, and always saw it being based more around falling in love with someone and the nervousness because of it. i think it’s because, in the novel and in film we see more of elio wondering if oliver likes him and not elio wondering if he even likes oliver himself. and feeling shame because it’s someone with who sees you and accepts you so openly. i think that the setting of the movie (italy, open minded parents and even other gay characters) also made me think that
Him sitting by the fireplace crying is the saddest scenes I seen in a movie.
After I watched this movie I had to read the book as well. And in the book u get to know what Elio is thinking and it made me love the movie all the more. Since Timothey did it so well
Thank you guys, such an emotional movie. I am a mum of two boys and I hope that I can be like that beautiful father when my kids start exploring & have their first heart felt experience.
The father's speech at the end makes this film what it is. Overall It was a beautiful film, but plotwise they condensed/glossed over some things from the book; the sexual nature of their relationship is more clearly laid out in the novel, and things like the peach scene have more context, instead of just happening out of the blue ln the film.
Two offbeat gay film suggestions for you: Parting Glances (1986) a quirky and witty film about a happy gay couple in NYC in the 1980s (it's Steve Buscemi's film debut).
Also, Big Eden (2000), about a NYC artist who travels home to his native Montana home when his grandpa suffers a stroke. It's a gentle comedy/drama, it reminded me of the TV show Northern Exposure in a way. It's like, what if Charlie from Heartstopper never came out, and instead moved to London to lead a gay life away from his family? (BTW your Heartstopper reactions are amazing, I've watched them more than once - thanks)
Oliver ISNT the one in control. Elio is. The juxtaposition of Elio being younger than Oliver is the real control. Oliver is terrified of that imbalance, which is why is hesitant initially. It’s only when he leaves and gets engaged, that that power shifts. Elio is still very much in love with Oliver who has seemingly moved on.
Thank you! Preach.
We can see it many times, like the scene in Elio's secret spot where Oliver says: "You're making things very difficult for me" after Elio's long and deep stare.
(Sorry English is not my first language).
For me this film, like you said, gives me a platform to put my own experiences into it. And that is, if I think about it in retrospect, pretty bad. While I was a teenager and fully like this protagonist naive and going with everything, a lot of fully grown man used me as they liked. And it was definitely not ok. Not in any way... So basically for me this film is romanticising a serious problem. Because mostly closed people go through stuff like that, with older and more experienced guys and can't talk to anybody about their experiences. No one, like parents or whatever, had a close eye on the situation and gave me a warning or help... And that's the point... This can be much more problematic than people think
I hope someone's recommended this already, but I think you two should watch Maurice! It's directed by James Ivory, who helped adapt CMBYN. Maurice is an absolutely stunning film with very little modern commentary. Hoping you two could share your thoughts on this one day!
Keep up the great content, would love your review of Moonlight
Yes, Moonlight has been requested a few times so we’re working up to it!
@@AStoryWorthTelling I love you both, super insightful and thoughtful commentary and entertaining as well. I am convinced your viewership and subscribers will grow and grow! Much love
Agree with Josh on the "fav" scene of the movie. Beautiful family moment!
The first time I watched this movie, I didn't get a thing. It took me the second time to get the little things that makes part of the bigger story(I've watched it more than 10 time.. Lol) . It is absolutely amazing; one of my favorite movies ever! The ending--I cried hard. 😭😭 All the actors were amazing
Omg same! Words can’t describe how magical this movie was and it’s my favourite movie of all time and it’ll always remain so. Mystery of love us my favourite song as well. Nothing can make me feel the way CMBYN did and I’m glad people continue to watch it and talk about it to this day.
@@elenarazpopova8169 It is a beautifully written story and it's well directed too. Mystery of love is also my favourite song🥰🥰
@@michelle_in_multimedia2217
I have not watched CMBYN yet. I actually own it on DVD. Between jobs 1 and 3 I'm very time poor (hence why I'm only watching this now) but given your commentary on this film I might have to make the time to watch it!
How about Episode 4:of I may destroy you? I think it's the best show I've seen in years and that episode illustrated consent (or lack thereof) in our community
Great suggestion thank you!! If you guys would like to see videos about specific scenes in tv or movies that cover an important topic, let us know!
Beautiful film,so much emotion.I loved your review,very thoughful and insightful.❤
Would love to see you guys review Maurice if you haven't already :')
I, too, loved the film, but wish it had been a little less tame - like the book. Guadagnino showed the passion, but didn't go as far as the source material did. Still, we should be grateful for this sensitive and artful movie.
You guys should do a review on the movie Moonlight (2016).
Hard to concentrate on the video with Josh’s shirt open 🫣 Seriously tho keep it up, love the videos 🤩
There is an old movie from 40 or 50 years ago called "Death in Venice" that involves a much older man obsessed with a beautiful young man who is vacationing with his mother in Venice. It is based on a novel of the same name by Thomas Mann. You might enjoy that movie too.
Death in Venice is a certified cinematic masterpiece, but to today’s audiences the story might be akin to watching the paint dry. Still, every queer person should know it.
The kissing of Elio’s foot was an ad lib
My favorite part about this film..besides the emotional side..is how unapologeticaly real and and raw it is, especially the physicality ..before I actually saw it..I thought it was going to be the older seducing the younger, was kind of cool to see the reverse..cause I was like at 17 for sure lol
react to Holding The Man ♥️
released in 2015 its an Australian gay movie. met with wide acclaim.based on real life story of two lovers getting diagnosed with AIDS
WHY DOSE IT HAVE TO BE GAY, LOVE IS LOVE BABY !!!! POWER TO YOU BOTH 😍😍💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
You huys are so thoughtful and beautiful.This was great❤❤
Thanx guys. I love your takes on the posts.
you are amazing, both of you. you are so calm and really nice and satisfying to watch, haha. I really liked you you people, I will be following you ≤3
CMBYN is one one of my favorite movie... An other one I love is "Esteros"... You should react on this one too :-)
MY FAVOURATE SCENE IN THE MOVIE, ALL PARENTS AND KIDS SHOULD WATCH THIS BEAUTIFUL MOVIE LOVE LUCA D, S DIRECTING !!!
Anyone else see the inverted-colour monument-climbing flashback as oliver imagining facing scrutiny of society in living this relationship with elio openly? Ie contrasting the beautiful now with his imminent return to real life. The laughing smiling young man in the flashback seems scornful.
The book is magnificent. I recommend to read it before watching the movie or vice versa.
This movie honestly broke me heart into a million pieces 😜
Great music from 1984- in the 2 book, Find Me- they do meet up again and spend the rest of their lives in that Italian villa. Because of Armie Hammer’s scandal it never was made.
I love your reviews ❤
Love love love your comments and reflections!
I don't know if it's been said here, but it is interesting to take in account that at the time the story takes place, in America (where Oliver comes from) homosexuality is still very much criminalised. Whereas in Italy, it has been legal for over a century, almost 2 centuries specifically in the area where they are. So there's also a big difference here between the two characters and how they approach their sexuality.
I so enjoyed your review of the movie that touched me greatly. Enjoy your point counterpoint and appreciation especially about this film. It is been some 40 years since I was where Young Ellio is And it gets it so right. I knew the first time I watched it I would watch it quite a few times and over for years I have. It’s so wonderful and lush and sweet and warm and ultimately cold yet Ellio is being warmed by his memories and the fire. You both were especially sweet reviewing this and I appreciate that. I am still loving your channel and I’m always glad when a new video breaks. By the way you both are very sexy in your own very distinct ways. I wish you both love.
5-a-day, lol Nice video - thoughtful responses and absence of squeals and gasps.
Thank you! I plan to look for it finally watch it....two years later lol
ADORABLE, LOVE YOU GUYS, LOVE TO KNOW YOUR STORY ON, A MAN IN AN ORANGE SHIRT !! " LOVE IT " 💖💖
FYI: May I recommend a book called “Street Kid: A Rent Boy’s Tale” by Ned Williams? There is a ‘Home page’ on Weebly, if you care to look it up.
you two is so adorable in the last closing this yputube videos, laughing each other?😂
how he says later is one of the prominate things ello talks about in the book and how he intrupts it to mean.
Insightful guys. Thank you.
Have you read the book by Andre Aciman? It's not necessary, the film stands on it's own but the book fills in a lot of gaps they couldn't include in the film. The father's monologue is almost word for word from the book.
It’s also awesome watching this coming originally from northern italy.
So I know Italian so sometimes the background Italian confuses my oh ya listen to English this is American film lol
Josh.... man, button your shirt please :o0
so what was the film about
and so we now know part 2 is never happening...
Will you watch other French queer movies ? Like 120 battements par minutes ?
you should really read the book so you can understand the impact Oliver has on him much better.
That scene was not ‘silent’. Read the book or the audio book.
WHEN ARE YOU GUYS GONNA DO YOUR THING, ON FIREBIRD " FLICK 2020? "
Free Fall and God’s own country are both movies that use brokeback mountain as inspiration. I would absolutely love it if you two could give those a look! They are both on hulu plus, and god’s own country is also on netflix!
Loved Free Fall! That one had a lot to say, in between the silent glances. Wished the sequel hadn't stalled.
god's own country oml that movie was IT
Check out Danish film Brotherhood
Oliver was raised differently.
Alex and Josh were so serious back then
I hope you check out God's own country, it is a great movie.
Yes we’ve watched this movie now! Check out the vid on our channel :) would love to hear your thoughts 🌈
Honestly, when I watched this film, I was just like "what kind of ginormous shit have I just watched?"
The relationship between Elio and Oliver is just unhealthy. Oliver is an adult who knows what he wants in his life and is responsible of himself and of his acts. Elio is a teen who doesn't know really who he is and who he wants to be in the future and who is under the responsability of his parents! It's illegal you know? It's called ped0philia.
I understand the whole thing about coming into terms with what they are, what they love, and how it's perceived by the world, the struggle of being homosexual in a period like the 80's and even now, but when they became lovers/s3x friends, they just lost me. I'd understand if they were good friends and supportive with each other during the whole film, but Oliver was just a piece of shit and Elio just wasn't prepared to face that type of behaviour from someone he really cares about.
This is a beautiful movie.
While it is a beautifully done film and the acting is steller. The story is well crafted tale of a young man's awakening I just can not get past the age gap and the power dynamic between the two. It just makes me feel icky. The book while gives more insight into Elio'a internal thoughts and the film dose a good job at building the relationship, I just can not shake the ick. Overall it is a fantastic film the dose bring me to tears everytime I have seen it.
real life is sometimes icky and no one pitches a fit about the power imbalance in dirty dancing or any other hetero film with the same age gap. not every film is supposed to be morally pure or cinema would be boring
@@sammysoppy3361 Actually for me I never liked the imbalance in dirty Dancing either, granted I was too young to understand it when i first saw it as a kid but as a I grew older it did creep me out, But I do get what your saying.
i love this sm
At the end of the movie, Oliver gets married, I feel a bit different than you two about Oliver and Elio being in two different sexual evolutionary stages in their respective lives. I think that Oliver fell in love with the youth and attitude given off by young Elio and whatever he was feeling while in the company of Elio, he felt Elio’s need for physical intimacy and provided that, did Oliver love Elio? In a way he did but not a love that leads to life long commitments.
Read the book- the movie leaves a lot out.
This is an arthouse film, Love Simon is a mainstream film, it's ridiculouse that you're comparing the two
Does anyone know the intro song name?
Hello guys .this is amazing movie I love it on of my favourite.Can I share with you guys my First gay movie it's call "Shelter " 2007 its a little bit cheezy but really grab my heart, specially the music.You can watch it and tell me what do you think. xx
*Spoiler*
Glad to know they end up together, in the book sequel
Where is Alex from his accent sounds British mixed with American to me?
Bawled my eyes out.
2017 The King
enuf said - wow.
(CMBYN, not for me)
The book wasn't great, there were some really odd bits and it had a very 'teen angst' edge. The film was far better. Can't remember whether the father came out to Elio in the film or not, but it was an interesting element in the book. I hope there's no sequel, but, I think, for the right reasons.
Other films, most of which were, I think, done on a budget, but I hazily remember them being worth a look: 'Were the World Mine', 'Shelter' (2007), 'Weekend', 'A Single Man', 'Breakfast With Scot', 'Priscilla Queen of the Desert', 'Beautiful Thing' (1996 (!)), 'Gayby', 'Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List', 'The boys in the Band', 'Those People'.
Hannah Gadsby's 'Nanette' was incredible, and she was also in 'Please Like Me', by Josh Thomas, which was great, but not something to watch if you're down.
Oh, and 'Crashing' by Phoebe Waller-Bridge (which is awesome): Sam and Fred's storyline is so lovely
Not yet to watch this but this gonna be exciting to watch in real movie 🙈🙈🙈🏳️🌈
You HAVE to watch it!
The scene with Elio and Oliver’s bathing suit-try to listen to the audiobook-it explains everything Elio was thinking. Love the movie-cried my eyes out, in a good way.
Button your shirts...............................pffffff
I haven't seen the movie because I read the book. I felt the book was too drawn out and I can't see myself ever watching the movie.
I (Josh) think the movie does do the book justice, so I’d give it a watch. Why not!?
France!!! The guy on the left speaks like he really doesn’t understand the story that well.. and talk about the scenes stop telling your experience! The scene Elio watching Oliver dance-that was THEE moment Elio knew he was in.. completely. Oliver was raised differently- to be in the closet, Elio was raised differently.
Oh definitely! When Élio is watching Oliver dance-that was the moment Élio was in- DEEP
My two observations about this film (which I mostly love): Armee Hammer is just terrible. He is like a sexless wall of marble that Chalamet keeps throwing himself against to no effect. I don’t believe anything Hammer shows or says regarding his affection for Elio, and he kills the chemistry between them. What’s most interesting to me is how the director shoots Elio in the way that movies have always shot beautiful young women-with a reverent and objectifying erotic eye. At the same time, Elio has a lot of agency at different times, making for a fascinating tension between his innocence and his male power. From that point of view, it’s quite a radical queer film. Just too bad they didn’t cast Chalamet opposite someone who wasn’t so scared of looking gay.
I hated this stupid film. I don't like the actors, the story, everything.
I didn't like this movie. Plot is flat and charackter development is non existent- we don't even know why they are together.... Elio is spoiled and Oliver is manipulative ...( the movie is just unrealistic) Brokeback Mountain and God's own country did it better or maybe Maurice or Moonlight.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I can't stand this film, it's beautiful in its cinematography, the bits of acting are great. But, yeah, there is no plot, and it's massively drawn for hours for no reason. Also the older character should not have been played by a 35, nearly 40 year old when he's meant to be 26 if that... they're both great actors, they just shouldn't have been cast for this age gap. It's just bad, it's beautiful but terrible at the same time and I don't know how and it does my head in.
@@harryarmstrong2930 I agree Armie looks too old there....
@@harryarmstrong2930Armie was 29 playing 25. FYI.
LOVE TO HEAR YOUR VIEW ON A GREAT FLICK " PREIST " 1984? IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT, CHECK IT OUT !