so... I've NEVER had a boyfriend (at 23)
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- Опубликовано: 31 июл 2024
- so... I've NEVER had a boyfriend at age 23.
Join me in an ~honest girl talk~ going over why I've been always been single in my twenties; is there anything wrong with being single in your 20s or any age; what is single shaming and how do gender & cultural biases impact women's self-worth based on their relationship status.
//🕙Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
1:29 Why I've never had a boyfriend
3:38 Deep dive into single shaming
7:10 Closing thoughts
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Some interesting reads on single shaming/ the pressure for women to be in a relationship:
www.bustle.com/p/8-small-ways...
www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-...
www.refinery29.com/en-ca/sing...
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What are your thoughts on never having a boyfriend (or girlfriend) in your 20s?
My thoughts are : " can relate" ahhahaha almost 23 too and there we are
I am 28 Zoe and I never had a boyfriend either, it's okay to be single and we shouldn't feel pressured to date anyone. You are a special girl who deserves all the best, I love your videos ❤️ I'm a night nurse and I watch your videos while my patients sleep for inspiration. I also have been fasting on the right track because of you, so thank you! Much love to you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm 20 and doing fine. Still waiting for that perfect timing wherein I no longer have to stress myself out by balancing love life and studies. Having a boyfriend is a full- time job. You can never ran away unless you would really quit.
My thoughts are that you shouldn't be pressured to be in a relationship and honestly I think it's fine being single at the age of 23 or any age because you get to focus on your own goals and what's matters is focusing and working on yourself as a person.
Na-ah! I am just 11 but i have crush and its my profile ahhhh! Are u kpop fan?
I also hate how like in your teens and/or early twenties your parents are firmly against you having a relationship, yet once you hit like 25 they're asking for grandchildren.
For me was: in my teens "NO BOYFRIEND, just study, don't be like those grazy for boys girls, you don't need a boy". Once I finished school and entered University was "when I'll see you in a wedding dress?" and now at 24 is a "I want grandchildrens hurry up and find someone" 🤦♀️
For real lol
@@aSerendipityCalledBTS im 24 and it s hilarious. My mom started doing the same but not as intensely (im gonna graduate this year god willing). Lmao she keeps asking if i like anybody. No, I love my tea and I wanna enjoy nature once Im done with uni. 💖🙈
@@imane5819 Haha, same I just want to relax and hang out with my friends after finishing uni 🙈
Oh god please no, I’m 20 and I’m already tired of those “do you have a boyfriend?” questions from family members
Girls we are not alone , we are all in this together and there is no shame in being single 🙌
Ya
Plus being a virgin
@@Fullofpetals whoa, so happy for u😊
That's so freaking cringey. Like shut up instead
Totally agree with you sis nd m so proud
the pressure to lose your virginity at a young age is insane. I’ve had “friends” endlessly tease me and make jokes about my “innocence” and lack of experience. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me and that I should have done all these things by 18. Now that I don’t have ppl like that around me anymore I’ve become comfortable with it. Everything happens for a reason, how it should and when it should and I will never settle :)
So true! When I was in highschool teachers were like "don't have sex, you are still young" and when I started college everyone have had sex. I felt like I didn't enjoyed my teens as I should LOL
This is so toxic. I never had any boyfriend or sexual experiences until I married (21 years old). But since I turned 16 I felt this toxic sexual pressure to lose my virginity and being target from other girls as prude and bigot and from the boys the arrogant difficult entitled girl who doesn’t date anyone. Like wut
@@sofiaa5255 you lost nothing.
I'd genuinely like to know why that would make you feel weird/ something wrong about yourself? Because I feel like they're all bloody ridiculous... like they're literally making fun of us for not being used? Umm reality check, we've not met the rite person, have no want for someone atm, mental health like endless of logical reasons! But they still would like us to get under a rando to "fit in" When you think about, are they really our friends?
for real and friendly advice to everyone going through a similar situation, CUT THESE PEOPLE TF OUT. i started developing several depression from hanging out with invasive, borderline abusive people who would inquire me about my sex life. having alone time to really know myself and understand myself i realized im a gray-ace. so please, dont let others dictate your life, surrond yourself only with people who understand your true nature
People take life as a supermarket list, "You need to graduate school, go to college, have a boyfriend, get married, have children and so on" but happiness has a different meaning for each person, there is no magic check list to achieve it.
I loved each of your words
right!
right, dating is the least of my priorities
Please say it again, for the people in the BACK!!!! 👏
Perfectly said:) i haven’t gone to college or dated but still finding the path meant for me
I'm a 29 year old virgin. Never had a boyfriend, not even a date. I'm comfortable with that, but people made it seem like something was wrong with me. It's "normal and healthy" to want love, dates, marriage, and it's "normal and healthy" to want to bang all the time.
Bruh, you do you. You wanna have fun and date and sleep with people? Go ahead! Have fun! More power to you! I'm not judging! Be yourself! But don't tell ME I'm "wrong" or "childish".
And please, my favorite aunt, I love you, but for the last time, I'M NOT GAY🤣
I’m 26 and I haven’t had a boyfriend either. I’ve never held hands with anyone more than 3 seconds, never been kissed. I had 2 dates and didn’t even know they were dates until later. I never thought much about it but old friends started getting married and suddenly people started asking me about why I haven’t had a boyfriend and why I haven’t done anything. They’re respectful about it but it’s like I’ve become a circus freak. I started wondering if there really was something wrong with me.
@@kit8342 yeah, people used to get in my head, make me feel like I'm missing out on something I wasn't interested in. I used to think "maybe I SHOULD date? What if I DO need experience? Is something wrong with me? Maybe I should date my friend who has a crush on me, what if he's The One? Maybe I should go sleep with someone and then I'll be normal..."
But luckily I didn't make myself do something I'd regret. There are people out there who have slept with others just to feel normal and they regretted it.
It's good to be in your own comfort zone.❤️
I don’t understand why people don’t think that’s an uncomfortable question. To me thats equivalent to “when are you getting married? when are you having kids? when are you getting a new job? ”. Which society knows to stop. Like sometimes if its already a discussion or it’s just a friend genuinely asking without singling you out it still can be self-conscious and awkward but I appreciate its done out of respectful curiosity. And especially the gay thing!!! I’ve been constantly ask that since I’ve never had a BF. Like nooo how many times I have to say it. I’m already feeling judge and now you want to judge me harder!
You know that is (IDK in your case you should see if it fits)an orientation? It's called asexual someone that isn't sexually attracted to anyone and Aromantic someone that isn't romantic attracted to anyone
30 y/o woman here, had many chances but didn't want to have sex, I maybe asexual I guess
Seeing this type of content makes me feel less bad about myself, especially when everyone on media seems so happy about their relationships. At 22 years old, I haven't had a bf/gf or sex. However I enjoy the time on my own! Don't feel pressured, everything comes at the right time.
Its The same for me 😌😌😌
I think the thing is just to not force anything. Everything will come at the right time.
Me too. I wanna take my time and find a nice guy to finally settle down.
Young girls better be beware of narcissists and love bombing. I am hearing a lot of disturbing stories about girls naively trusting them. Find a good guy and don't move too fast in relationships - a guy
@@Ghost-vg6iq Thank you for advising us. I have heard things like this, that is why i have decided to be traditional in relationship.
I'm 22 and I've never been in a relationship, kissed someone or been on a date. Sometimes I really struggle with this. Thank you so much for this video, it helps a lot knowing you're not alone. ❤
U
Me too. My introvert personality plays a big part of it too 😂 never really cross my comfort zone and always stay at home
Me to. Your not alone.
Same here.
Me too
honestly tho, u are right, the ultimate key is to love ourselves first. I was single and hate myself for 22 years until I realised that happiness can only be 'created' by ourselves and added on by others, never the other way round
OMFG😭✨✋🏻queens supporting queenzzzz 😍😍
facts
The pressure in Asian households to be married by 30 is so toxic where they literally call you “leftover women” if you aren’t married by then. Well said our self worth isn’t based on relationship status, marriage status, or our tie to a man!
Same in African countries 😔
Just curious/ Is that marriage pressure also putted on males?
@@Wondering-Why mostly females, in China they are called “剩女”
So true💔
@@imannasan what that mean?
zoe isn’t single, she’s already married to avocados 🥑😂
Hahaha so true!!
500thhggg like
@NS 317 bruh! It's a joke
Same 😩✨
@@tofu6274 that's also a joke😂😂
"Luck is a big element when it comes to relationship"
Finally someone said it😑❤️
Honestly! Like yes: I know I’m not the most extroverted girl and prefer to be more by myself then outside, but I still do go outside, I still have friends I spend time with, I travel, I got to university- etc, there were plenty of times in my 19 years of living where I could’ve met someone but I just never did yet my parents pretend like it’s somehow my fault that I haven’t found anyone and that I should try harder
It’s honestly such a shitty mindset
I'm 25 and I've never had a boyfriend. I'd rather be single while improving myself than to be with a low value man. I want to invest my time and effort to a person who will value me,respect me, and love me for who I am. Ladies, let's not settle for anything less! ☺️
I'm exactly the same!
Same, sis.
What is a low value man? Like, a balding 5'4'' tiny pp weakling beta male?
@@user-ds6pk8wt3k I think this "low value" thing shouldn't refer to people considered unattractive by societal standards but rather to people with a poor character and a bad personality. Defining someone's entire value by their physical attributes is an awful thing to do imo
@@sarabeatriz5569 wake up to the reality, kiddo.
@@user-ds6pk8wt3k lmao just noticed the comment history, I should have realized
So I'm not the only one right. Why need a bf when we can do everything by ourself. I can treat my self , love myself, enjoy by myself, gift my self.. Then who needs a bf
Yeah, sis. Same thoughts! I like to remind myself that I cam cry alone by myself all alone😂😂😂
Well you've probably met mediocre men who make you think that. When you find a true man who will support you and treat you like a queen you'll understand why it's so much easier to have someone like that in your life. I know us women can do everything by ourselves. But why should we? We already have to go through so much, why not lean back and accept help?
@a user yes... I'm proud of you girl...
@@elenavalentina4608 I know it's beautiful to have a boyfriend who supports and protects you. But when we don't have a boyfriend, we shouldn't be eager to find someone and think being single is a shame. We woman can love ourself and some just don't need man. We woman can still be happy without a boyfriend and just have one in the right time. Age shouldn't pressure someone and being single also has many good things.
@@kexinchen8368 oh yes totally. You stay single until you want a boyfriend. Even if you are in your 50s.
You are whole and loved with or without a boyfriend. All I am saying is that I hear far too many feminists claim that men are useless etc and women can do everything without them. None of the sexes can.
Having said that I am 21 and I have never been in a relationship so I totally understand where you are coming from and can see myself in what you say.
I’m always giving my friend advice but I’m single because coaches don’t play 😎
omggg period
Same 😄
lol that's totally me
Lol🤣🩸
Periodttt 😎
I have a cousin who finally got her first boyfriend at age 27 and my aunt, her mother, told me and my mom, “Thank God, I thought something was wrong with her!” That makes me feel so bad for my cousin. Her mom thought her not having a boyfriend was problematic. My aunt must think something is wrong with me too as I also never been in a relationship 💀
My parents didn't allow me to be in a relationship before I graduated university lmao
Same 😂😂
Umm if you went to university couldn't you just date someone without them realizing??🤣
girll wyd listening to your parents so much at your age 😂 like that's absolutely not their decision, it's yours
@@honkhonk3192 some of us respect our parents, we need to trust their judgments
I had that rule too but even after 5 years, still single 😁
I love this video so much. I’ve had a boyfriend, but I’ve been celibate for over year and I value sex even more than before! There’s no rush whatsoever and being a relationship isn’t ALL that great anyway.
I love YOU so much! Thanks for sharing that radiating celibate queen energy ❤️🔥✨
Oh hi Queen of stampede, thank you for sharing Kelly 💜
Really? I love being in my relationship.
A relationship is great with the right person, but single life is amazing as well.
@@TeexMack very true!
I met someone when I was 27. We have been together for a year now.
It did drive me a little crazy before we met, I kept thinking if there was something about me that just wasn’t attractive. And the constant uneasiness that I’ll be alone for the rest of my life.
But, I have realised that 27 years being alone was such a luxury that I’m so grateful for today. I spent a lot of time focusing on myself while I was single. I had time to build deep relationships with family and friends who are my biggest pillars of support even till today. I got used to being comfortable with spending time alone. I had time to understand my strengths and weaknesses, my triggers and what heals me. And all that 27 years of being alone, helped me to build a healthy and fulfilling relationship with my partner today.
This time we have with ourselves is magical. The most important chapter of our lives is this time we have alone, because it will shape everything else. Be so rooted in yourself that nobody’s absence or presence can disturb your inner peace.
Literally how I feel being single my whole life. Just behan dating and already trying to figure out how I'd fit them in.
Thank you! I just turned 26, never in a relationship and I am starting panicking. Needed to hear this 💗
This comment is beautiful❤️ thank you so much for sharing your wisdom
This gives me so much hope. I’m 27 and never been in a relationship. I think I’m ready though 🤗
Lovely words. Thank you for this ♡
I think the media is a HUGE influence on this. I remember feeling this way at FOURTEEN bc all my friends were in relationships and the way high school is portrayed in media made it seem like I was doing something wrong (or there was something wrong with me) for not having a relationship. I'm 22 now and I still have never had a serious relationship. I have been debating if I want to try dating apps but I'm mostly okay with being single right now. I just graduated college so I'm still trying to figure myself out. Also we're still in a pandemic so meeting people feels weird. One good thing to come out of quarantine is that I have had a lot of time for self reflection and realized I don't need to be in a relationship right now.
It's better to have boyfriend when you hit The wall
I was single for 24 years. I even thought I was a lesbian or going to be that rich aunt.
I had suitors but no one felt like the right one. So I became single for more than two decades.
I enjoyed my singleness.
But it came to a point where I honestly felt stuck, as one of the things I wanted to have in life is a lifelong partner and a family of my own. I didn't want to ruin that by biting the very first cake I see. I had a great job, I was doing things I want, I had freedom, I traveled, but there came a point where it felt like there is something missing and I had all of this but it felt like I am going to nowhere and all these achievements is for nothing.
But....
Suddenly and unexpectedly, my path intertwined with Jun (my fiancee now). I am so grateful I waited and didn't rush things, because I am so happy with our relationship. It is so warm and he is my home.
I am now 26 and we're getting married this Dec 2021.
Congratulations 🎊💕
Congrats, I really appreciate the fact that you don’t rush things. In our society, we usually feel like we’re forced to do sth, finding someone who fits in our social class or the stereotype, but never someone who we truly love
@@decembrre UPDATE: Really appreciate your comment.
We are now expecting our first child this Nov 2022 :)
congratulations!! :) 🤍
@@talesoffay2164 Congrats 🎉🎉🎉 Wish you lots of happiness and love ❤
One thing that bothers me about the couple culture we live in, is often couples tend to ignore the other relationships in their lives. Friends and family get pushed aside for a stranger who often leaves you stressed and more alone then you felt before. While in college I decided to do the opposite and prioritize the non-romantic relationships in my life and found that I learned more about how to create lasting bonds with people more than my friends who dated around. Now at 24 I'm a year into my first relationship with someone who treats me with the same respect and love my friends and family do and I couldn't have gotten here if I didn't take the time to learn about myself while single.
exactly. friendships are in fact equally exciting
Yeah man. Me and my best friend had a really good thing going but then she got a boyfriend and forgot I exist. When they break up she ain’t gonna have no friends left to cry to. Maintaining other relationships is so important. It’ll keep you happy in the long run and it’ll be keeping your friends happy
@@jessiecanning5445 the same thing happened to me
THNAK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! I AM A 22 YEAR OLD VIRGIN AND THE PRESSURE IS REAL. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THIS VIDEO 💖 I really really needed this! Much love from India 💖🥺💖🥺💖 🇮🇳
can I just say you are literally so pretty omg 🥺
@@RadEdits oh my god this is the first time someone’s told me this on RUclips. Thank you so much you made my day!💖🙏🙏
Dont stress! You have all the time of the world baby🥰🙈♥️
I thought you get an arranged marriage in india? I don‘t mean to be rude just want to know because I watched a video from Karl Rock who lives in India and girls and boys who date got harrassed in one of his videos thats why I‘m curious 🥺❤️
@@meemoo7 ohh, Karl Rock’s videos show a different story of India. Arrange marriages do happen but thankfully not in my family 🙈. I’m from Mumbai (home of Bollywood) no one gets harassed for dating (at least over here) (I’m talking about middle / upper middle / higher society)
I met my first boyfriend at the age of 27, while living abroad and walking through a museum with my friend.
I never looked for a relationship and even had my dad begging me to go on dates at some point. I'm romantic, but I've always enjoyed being single and doing my own thing. I had a clear idea of what a healthy relationship should be like and thankfully I've found it. Getting married to my first boyfriend in November and I couldn't be happier. Don't rush things just because you don't want to be alone, guys. You also don't need a relationship just because you're horny lol trying to rush and force it just ends up in toxic relationships and heartbreak for all I've seen.
Congratulations 💕💕
This gives me much more hope, i am 19 and everyone here has already someone, i have never seriously liked anyone but i know I'm straight
I want to find someone good
I will soon 23 nd still single
Yeah exactly! My dad too took keen interest in my *ahem* non-existent love life. Mhm, maybe because I'm 20 now & I'd soon be travelling for jobs & such. He may think that I'll get "wasted" if I had bfs & such. Yeah its shit to be born in a VERY conservative family. I honestly really just want the freedom to atleast choose a partner for myself. Atleast give me that freedom as my mom, grandma & aunts are VERY controlling. And goddamn its always women in here, laughing at you on yo face, pulling you down. F*ck this shit
as a guy whos never had a gf at 20, i also get those aunts and grandmas where the first thing they ask is "do you have a gf?". from my POV, i always had the feeling guys who are in relationships are also perceived as more sucessful and more attractive. therefore ive also always been a bit ashamed for never having a gf.
yes, being single as a guy is always portrayed as "exciting", but thats more when you just came out of a relationship. But when you've never been in one, it starts to become a part of "your ability to be a man". or people will start asking you if youre gay
^well said. I feel as though no gender really gets the better end of the stick in this situation.
The struggle is real, for both guys and gals.
I feel you man. My parents are a bit like that
Yeah I gotta say I didn’t agree with that point in the video. At least in my case, my brother gets pressured about this just as much if not more than I do
It’s really just screwed up social expectations
@@merit4078 agreed
THIS IS WHAT IM SAYING. I DO NOT NEED A BOYFRIEND AND RELATIONSHIPS ARE ALWAYS SO STRESSFUL. I FIND IT MORE SAFE AND COMFORTABLE TO LOVE AND TREAT MYSELF. HAVING CLOSE FRIENDS ALLOWS US TO HAVE FUN TO WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT ANYTHING MORE. PLUS I CAN BARELY TAKE CARE OF MYSELF MENTAL HEALTH IS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME.
You're soo true sis, but my Asian parents don't leave me alone 💔😑
@@namjinsopevminkook12 I can imagine it happen to me, when i am getting older. Remember your Parents want the best for you. I think it's always like the elder generation thinks at a certain age, you need to have a boyfriend and kids. Which doesn't really help us our younger generation. You know what is best for you and just live your life how you want.💚
@@kexinchen8368 I'll try to...
@@namjinsopevminkook12 Fr I’m Asian to and they think I’m bisexual or asexual😭
@@kexinchen8368 you got beomgyu 🧍♀️💗. But yes, take care of yourself and your mental health. You have to prioritize yourself first before you prioritize a significant other
My boyfriend never had a girlfriend until he was 23... then we met online completely random and we fell in love an now we have been together for 2 years and 9 months... it's all about luck, there's nothing wrong with you, you just haven't met the right person yet. And maybe you'll meet them soon!
Wow! I'd love to hear your story more
@@ludwigvanbeethoven3896 i'm having lots of difficulties responding because i post my comments and then they disappear
@@alessia9328 I guess it's the auto moderator for comments or something¿
If I’m right y’all would be together for 3 years around this time so congratulations
@@lissy.f03 Yess!!! We just had our 3 years anniversary 1 month ago! Thank you!
The comments in this video are making me feel so much better about myself. I’m 26, no boyfriend, ever. I don’t really feel like I need one, but everyone around me has one or has had one at some point and it’s made me feel so abnormal. Glad to see I’m not alone. ❤️
All this pressure to have had boyfriends from your teens to early twenties, get married, and then have kids by the time you're 30 🙄
Man, I'd rather be the cool middle aged auntie who travels all around the world, living her best single life, and comes back home to bring souvenirs and gifts and tell stories of her adventures to her nieces and nephews😎
Yes👌
omg ahaha i dream of being *that* aunty
Yessss
Me 2 we need those kind of people
I have never had a boyfriend (I just turned 28 few days ago). The older I get, the more I get to know exactly what do I want in a relationship. Girls, never ever lower your standards due to pressure from outside. Everything has its right time, grow and embrace yourself first, then await eagerly HIM to come
Happy late bday!! Thx for the advice
@V King we all have different lives but there is 1 thing in common: we are the own author of our lives. At any time you can choose start all over again or fix it as long as you fell it right for you. Dont regret for the past. You have a whole future ahead of you. Be strong, be present
@@milkytanpie5810 Well, I watch asian dramas, so I KNOW my standards are high 😂😂
chad dont want u get over urself
Chadsexual at her finest.
I’m 28 and never had a boyfriend… lemme tell you something: I look younger than my friends who had plants of boys 😂😂 I’m living a “no stress life” style 🤣😝
Same LOL! But I’m not that sure about looking younger than my friends LOL but yeah overall 0 love life problems (because its non existent LOL)
like for real, my skin screams : we are chill and it shows hahha
Haha same I'm 27 and never had a bf
same same!!!hahaaa people think I'm 19 but I'm 27
I'm 28 as well not even halfway done with my glow up yet and people think that I'm 19 or 20 😅 only two people said that I look old but they're the most bitter and hateful individuals that I've ever met
I only see pros of not having love life problems👌
I’m only 19 but I totally get the pressure of family asking about if you’re dating. If I even mention a male person their first instinct is “is he cute?” “is he single?” “do you like him?” “Let’s stalk all his social media and tease you about this for months 😃” I’m not allowed to just have friends. Thank you for this video ♥️
It’s sad more people don’t realize how common this is and that there’s nothing wrong with you if you’ve never had a relationship well into your 20s. Society tries to rush people wayyy too much and most people are NOT emotionally mature enough to handle a relationship in their teens. Forget sex, the fact teens are pressured to have sex is a mess on its own. All these loud people making others feel bad for never being in a relationship have A LOT of baggage from all their failed relationships that they rushed into just to have someone and be “normal”.
I blame comprehensive sex ed.
Too often it’s considered the “safe” sex wellll it’s sure as hell NOT when there’s lack of emotional safety in teen years!!
Its unfortunate that so many people at that age lack self control as well and get really pissed when told not to have sex.
Oh don't worry Zoe, you'll be the rich, single and pretty aunt of the family 💖💖
Hahaha I’d love that
Actually that's what my friend and I plan to do. Lmao!!
@@mammoney384 hahaha same
@@ces0404 LET'S JUST BE RICH, COOL AUNT. AND SINCE WE'RE RICH, INVEST ON SKIN CARE AND PLASTIC SURGERY TO BE FOREVER YOUNG. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@mammoney384 lool, nice idea, sis 🤣
28 turning 29, and i aint had one either baybeeee.
Seriously tho, dating has N E V E R been a priority. To me, a romantic partner is a possibility that could lead to more possibilities. Theyre nothing essential. I just hate getting shocked reactions when i say i've never had a relationship and that i'd strongly prefer to pursue a guy and lead.
Omg! I just turned 28 and have never had a relationship either! This comment makes me feel normal!
As a girl you should never pursue a boy. You are the prize !
@@chas353 That's nice but i dont want to be a prize; i want to be a Winner
@@xrubyxlightx ^^ periodt 💅
@@nicolea5992 same here. Whenever the question comes up I lie or curve it like my life depends on it. Mentally and emotionally I'm not there so I don't see the point.
i’m turning 29 and still a virgin and terrified to be in relationship. i literally learned how to start loving myself in 2019, when i went through most of my childhood, fighting to live, because of a disorder and letdowns. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND BE UNEXPECTED!
btw, i DEFINITELY understand the whole “judgey” asian family situation. they want to compare me to my other cousin who does have a boyfriend, a family and etcera etcera. i apparently have a “secret” boyfriend hiding somewhere.
girl, i'm 18 and also never dated let alone hold hands romantically. for me I just feel like this generation especially since it's kind of a big hook up culture or people wanting to move fast/get into a relationship cause they can handle being lonely and base their happiness off their relationship status just isn't for me. it's so dumb and cliche but I grew up on romance books and i've always been such a sucker for romance. I just feel like this generation of guys don't have what I want and I feel like i'm going to be single with cats when i'm older.
this is why I want an older guy/millennial lol
Get a boyfriend that doesn’t mind cats
Well with that mindset you will probably never find the right one
@@antoinecharlesdegaulle580 having standards?? hahah
@@rayoflight7416 no I mean generalising a whole group of people which in this case are men. We are not all about hookup culture you know
I’m 22 and still single. My family, friends and basically everyone keep asking me why I’ve never had a boyfriend, even my best friend. So sometimes I feel like I need to have a boyfriend to be considered normal. But I know I need to work on my self-confidence and learn how to love myself before starting a serious relationship with anyone. Thanks for sharing Zoe, you make me feel so much better 💕💕💕
👏👏👏👏
you are valid, don't let anyone pressure you
@V King love this
@V King true 💯💯💯💯
I'm 22 and have never been in a relationship or even went on a date and I feel so comfortable in this comment section. Thank you for this video
I turn 26 in a month, straight, and STILL completely alone. Partly bc I hate online dating, and partly bc I was shamed my entire childhood (in an evangelical Christian church) about any kind of intimacy with boys. So sorry that I can't magically get rid of all that fear planted into me when I was young.
If this comes off as angry, good! I AM both angry and sexually frustrated.
Same here! I'm almost 24, never had a kiss before, haven't been on a date for YEARS and I'm totally fine with that.
Btw, you're an inspiration. 💖
EDIT: Thank you for the likes guys/girls, I've never had so many!!
Im 30 years old and dont even know how to kiss 😂🤭😇
24´ club and having NO problem with it yayaaaay 🤝
Same I’ll be 24 in a few days and honestly this appearing in my recommended is kinda funny😅
It's easy for women.
As a 22 year old whose never had a boyfriend thank you! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one sometimes.
Me too
Today i got to know that there are so many single girls who is actually waiting for true love like me, rather than fooling around
Me
@@EXOistheStandard Its the best you can do. I did the same and ended up meeting my husband and marrying at 21.
@@Valentina-eh5zf omg wow how cute😍. It's really rare to find this nowadays in our fucked up society. Congratulations i am really happy hearing your love story. It's Perfect and you two make it more than perfect ❤❤
I feel ya. I was 22 when I entered my first romantic relationship (never dated prior to that either). I felt ashamed and freakish. Maaaany years later I look back on that time and wonder why I was so hard on myself. For what it's worth, when I finally decided I was ready to date I went out with this super nice guy who totally liked me, and encouraged me to be comfortable in my skin. 16 years later we're still going strong and he's my best friend.
I’m 20 an i’ve never had a boyfriend, kissed, or went on a date. But I’ve always wondered with long term relationships, have you ever had any thoughts of what would it be like if you were with someone else? I would love to have a relationship with longevity but i’m scared that I won’t commit for that long.
@@dawnarxtic When I started dating my partner I considered him kind of a "starter boyfriend". We had been friends for months. I liked and trusted him, and he was pretty flirtatious with me. I figured that the best way to get rid of my anxiety around dating was to try it out with a really nice person. I assumed we'd go on a couple dates, realize we were better off as friends, and that would be the end of it. But our feelings for eachother grew and our lives totally meshed.
I don't want to set false expectations that you'll click with someone that quickly, or that you'll definitely find someone you want spend your life with. But I think there's no reason to worry about commitment before you've started dating.
And as you your question about if I've wondered what it would be like if I were with someone else: yeah, totally!
I wonder who I'd be if I had made a ton of different choices. What would my life be like if I had asked Doug out instead of James? What if I had gone to college across the country? What if I had run for student council, or taken up an athletic hobby? What if I had been bolder or braver? In any of those cases I'd be a different me living a different life. But I'm not concerned that the choice I've made is a mistake. I'm happy with the life I've have.
... And besides, there are endless ways a person can course-correct if something isn't working in their life.
@@PaleBlueTHOT Wow! Thank you for replying this really gave me some insight on dating.
Growing up is realizing how common this actually is. There's so many of us
I'm 28 and I never had a boyfriend. I've been on several dates, it's been hard to find people and I'm also used to being alone. I do believe in love and we will all find the right one ladies, don't rush it's okay ❤️❤️❤️ we should be the ones to make ourselves happy, no one else ❤️❤️❤️ ^-^
(Also I love you Zoe, you're beautiful and inspiring!) ❤️
I'm 26 and same! I enjoy my "freedom" and focusing on my own desires but ofc I hope to find genuine love some day!
@@goblinearthling much love to you !! Good luck❤️ I wish you all the best in life ^-^
girrrl me too, I'm so used to be alone that having someone around feels weird
Feel this 💖
I think i'm the only boy here
"I am not going to lower my standars or be in a relationship just to meet some outdated expectations for someone of my age"
LOVE THIS!! 💜❤💜
I'm 23 and never had a boyfriend because I wasn't allowed to. My parents, especially my mother, made it seem like it was taboo for me to have a relationship when I was a teenager. Now that I'm older, I still hesitate to date because of my parents pressuring not to back then. It still sticks with me. I don't have much confidence in being in a relationship and I've become anti social. The older I get, the more people think it's weird for me to be single. It makes me feel like I'm going to be alone forever.
I'm 23 yrs old, I've never had a boyfriend, never had a date. I could relate at spiritual level with you, Zoe :)
Me too 😭
Same
24 here, same
Family constantly asking “when will you have a boyfriend” is so irritating and emotionally draining. Like leave me alone it’s literally none of yours businesses
as an asian, my family would rather me *not* have a bf lol
i don't want one rn anyway
@@Nethmi3 exactly 🌝
fr and its even worse when all your cousins and people your age in your fam have partners 😭😭
@@Nethmi3 same sis(•́ ‿ ,•̀)
@@nottie9358 ikr 😵💫
Yesss, another member of the club! ✌🏻I’m 26 and have never been in a serious relationship. I just haven’t came across the right person yet. There’s no use in pushing myself to be with someone that I’m not wholly attracted to just for the sake of being partnered.
Being an introvert and a shy person makes it difficult for me to go and tell the opposite person how I feel so that's why I've been single for 21 years.. Either way I prefer focusing on my career right now rather than getting into relationships and hopefully someday the person that I love approaches me or maybe I'll gather some courage and go to that person
PS : I'm not ashamed of myself for not dating and so should no one else, I believe there's a perfect timing for everything.
Great video Zoe!!
There's NOTHING wrong with not having a boyfriend or not fooling around with people. Waiting for the person who will make you feel special and happy is the best thing that someone can do. Don't waste your time on immature people who don't know what they want. When someone cares about you ,they will show it every single day ❤
LOVE THIS. I'm 19 and I've already been in a few relationships that all ended up becoming toxic. My last one ended a month and a half ago, and he was sooo immature & confused about what he wanted, which brought a lot of stress into my life too. Take care of yourself & love yourself before (and while) you get into a relationship, it will save you and your partner from a lot of potential problems.
@@Casxa 👏👏👏🔥🔥🔥❤❤❤❤
This is so true! I'm 23 and last year I was in a relationship with a guy. Since I'd never had a boyfriend before I was so terrified of losing him that I tried hard to please him and be the "perfect" girlfriend... After eight months he broke up with me, showing no respect for my feelings for him (because I did love him, but I'm not sure he loved me back... Maybe I was just a toy) and for me in general as a person: he stopped texting me and on our ninth month together, after weeks of me asking what was going on, he just said that we were friends and that he kept ignoring me hoping that I would have understood our relationship was over. It's been a year now, but I still feel like he threw me away like a broken toy... Maybe he didn't care about me the same way I cared about him, maybe I was just something he wanted to get rid of as soon as possible. Never thought a heartbreak would be this painful.
The fact that I am the only person I know who's still single at the age of 23, while all my friends and relatives are already talking about getting married and living together with their partners, makes me really upset sometimes. I know now that there's nothing wrong with me, and that the right time and the right person will come for me too, but still I really hate it when people make assumptions about me and started questioning my sexuality just because I don't have a boyfriend
@@nicolettazenobini4632 SENDING YOU LOVE QUEEN! you're still so so so so young! Live your life the way YOU want and the right person will come along one day. No need to feel pressured by others. The 1st heartbreak can be very painful I know but one day you'll realize how this person was just not worth it , yet still you will learn from this experience! When the right person will come you will just know, but life is not all about romantic relationships. That special someone will come, until then try to be the best version of yourself and live your life the way it makes you happy 💖
@@poppycalliope thank you! Your words really mean a lot❤️
I'm 20 and I never had a boyfriend. I'm okay with being single. I'm still focusing on my journey with self love and if I do find love one day it's because I am ready not because of being pressured. My mother and her friends often ask when I'll find one because I won't be young forever but honestly I don't care and I enjoy being alone.
Gurl I'm 20 and you literally summed up my life.
im 20 too and i'll try to apply your advice in my life as well, thank u!!
I’m 20 and never had a boyfriend either. I will remember your advice. It also feels good to not be alone in this.
Omg I was literally starting to be anxious about these topics and your video was suggested to me on YT. Thank you for making this video and talking about it. As a 27 yr old woman who hasn't even gone on a date. I have literally been okay with it and if I don't date anytime soon I am actually comfortable with that thought but the Societal pressure of having a set liner life timeline was really getting to me today. Reading other people's comments made me feel so much better.
I totally agree. I finally wanna do things for myself and lead a life I am happy at and Marriage is far away from it. It's SOOOOO NICE KNOWING I AM NOT ALONE. Just reading the comments lifted my anxiety. I never comment on videos but how could I not share my emotions. I want to say thank you to all the women who shared their story. Appreciate it.
I needed this video so much! not everyone talks about it mostly because its normal to be in a relationship at very young age. All the media shows it too. Everyone finding love at a very young age and having a lot of boyfriends and having lots of sex. This does put a lot of pressure on young girls to jump into relationships they are not ready for and get seriously hurt. I have never been in a relationship before so the anxiety and self doubt that comes with the "no experience" thing have affected me a lot. This video and the comment section definitely helped me feel better!! 😊❤️❤️
You know, being "chosen" and having a relationship is not going to cure your insecurities as many women believe. Also, it is 21st century, Christ. It is not our only job to get a guy to date us, marry us and produce children. We can choose nowadays.
Society still seems to be built around couples tbh
My friend was really good with being along until she knew her bf ( maybe ex now) and now all her insecurities showed up, she is almost begging him to make up I was shocked and eventhough I told her to love herself more she is afraid to be alone now. People if you want a bf or gf first be sure you respect and love yourself
I really needed this content. At 19 y/o, every one of my peers are in relationships, and then there is me who has never had a boyfriend and a virgin. I really just want to wait for the right opportunity and wait, I don't really feel like dating, atm. There is this weird pressure nowdays to be in a relationship and have sex. Really just wanna focus on my career and secure that bag 💪👜
19 year old here too! In fact, I don’t want to date until after college, and I’ve traveled a bit, and just grow more mature. There’s no rush.
I’m 19 too! I’ve never been in a relationship and it has never really interested me. It’s just not my priority tbh, I’d rather be rich than find true love 😶
19 as well, let's just finish college yall😂😫also I've learnt/ been told to focus on platonic relationships, on family.
omg same!
Graduated college. Back then, I thought I'll have my first bf after graduating but nah 😂😂😂
I’m 24 and I’ve never had a boyfriend, either. Self love and working on feeling whole is the journey I’m on right now. 🙌🏻
I’m 23, and I’ve never dated or even been kissed before. I always worry that when I do have my first kiss, I’ll be really, noticeably bad at it, and the person will think it’s weird that I haven’t kissed. To anyone who had their first kiss in their 20s or later: what was the experience like for you?
Bro same 23 here ,never been in a relationship,nor kissed anyone and everyday this fact bother me a lot ,bcoz i know everyone judge me for this that I've high standard and whatsoever that sometimes it's really break my confidence ,so it's good to know that I'm not the only one
Im 22, same situation and same feelings as you
I am 21 and never been kissed too. I have the same fear as you.
Same but then the guy that I dated was really nice to me. Teached me how to kiss and became my boyfriend. We broke up eventually but I'm grateful for the relationship.☺️🌞
Oh I'm 20. Had my very first kiss this summer with my ex. It was also his first time kissing. I didn't felt anything bad as such. Just his soft lips lol. But he was awkward af lol since he bit my lips (I even complained him that). Honestly, it's nothing that bad. And you don't really have to feel any sense of insecurity. In fact I feel like some people find it cute if you never really kissed anyone.
Hey Zoe! It‘s not that uncommon, a lot of my friends didn’t find their significant other until their mid/late 20s. Actually it‘s really rare to find someone who is compatible to you early on! So don‘t feel bad!
I know the feeling of thinking that time is passing so fast and that your "youth" is fading away, wanting to make memories with a partner, wanting to be loved, but these are all things that can't be forced and related to luck and some kind of destiny. I have tried to force it with some guys and I just ended up feeling empty and like I betrayed myself.
I agree!
My situation is truly very uncommon in a way that I’ve met my life partner at 13 and we’ve been together ever since (I’m 26). A lot of people judge us for being together for so long (but i don’t care because we are freaking happy and in love still, so they can suck it!) it was completely dumb luck, for I wasn’t looking and I always thought I would find my first bf at university.
Then I know a friend who met the love of her life at 32 when she decided not to care about relationships anymore. age is truly just a number and things happen when the time is right ❤️ don’t let society pressure you into following the “norm”! Just do you!
@@getreadywithmaddie4656 that time is right thing is just bs though, time is a neutral thing and it can't be 'right' on itself, only you can make it 'right' on your own because time has a subjective meaning to you
@@elliebell842 finally someone with brains who doesn't buy that whenever the time is right crap either
@@magicmushroom8687 it pisses me off😂 just like it will happen when you least expect it
@@elliebell842 cringeeeee
Thank you Zoe I used to had a boyfriend but it’s totally useless trust me girls you should focus on urself not on how to get a boyfriend actually I didn’t rush myself but even though.. having a boyfriend at a young age is USELESS
I mean don’t rush it, just focus on yourself before thinking about a boyfriend live your life
Love you Zoe and I love
your beautiful content 💗
Goal
Can confirm, had a bf at young age, not worth it. Focus on yourself, ladies 🌸
same here, I totally agree with you queen👑
not only it’s useless, but also A HUGE WASTE OF TIME… please do what’s best for you! remember girls, a bf won’t solve your problems, he’s more likely to bring some extra😘
The fact that you mentioned about building self love and Confidence and working on ourselves is so important!!!
Thank you so much for this video
25 year old guy here who’s in the same position. Only society makes it a big deal. Everyone has their own journey and I wish society wouldn’t make stupid expectations on us. I didn’t go to college right after high school, and lost a bunch of friends and spent my time as an introvert, alone. Didn't actively date as much either. Even though I went back to college at 23, COVID has made everything hard for everyone. Stay strong!
“Why am I letting MY self worth be based on someone ELSE’S acceptance of me”
Oh man took this to a personal level… Thank you so much for talking about this topic, there’s a lot of people that think there’s “equality” nowadays without realizing that things only changed a little. Also as a 16-almost 17 year old girl there’s a lot of times I feel bad about myself for never having been in a date nor had a boyfriend so I appreciate this video as a whole. I already know you for your diet videos but this time I’m gonna subscribe, hope you do content alike in the future :)
I'm 29, never been a relationship (and don't even want to), never had a boyfriend/girlfriend, but was able to pay more attention to my family, pursue education in a desired university and get my dream job. Not having a relationship doesn't make a loser (nor am I saying that having a boyfriend would reduce your chances to acomplish anything you want), it just gives you more time to pay attention to other important aspects of your life.
Education career n backstabber friends fucked me big time
Health COVID depression exes also
as a 18 year old that never dated or anything, I felt this pressure and panic not because I cared; but because of society...thank you for this video!
THIS VIDEO 😩❤️🤌 chefs kiss. We need this energy put into our society so thank you. Honestly put me in such a good mood, I love the positivity
Society needs to start normalizing not having a relationship in your 20s or 30s is normal! I had my first relationship at 27.
So I'm not alone. Good to know.
Thanks for making this video. It’s so important for people to know they are not alone in their experiences.
I feel like I can never put into words how I’m feeling. You’re videos and you explaining these topics helps me so much.. thank you zoe
I never had a boyfriend until I turned 23. I remember stressing about it a lot when I was younger. Now I think that it was silly, there is time in life for everything and even if one stays single forever, it can still be a great and fullfilling life. Just don't stress and enjoy the freedom (and free time) that you have 🌼
I've been being asked multiple times if I'm asexual when people find out I've never been in a relationship, which made me question myself if I'm actually am and if I should found someone to find that out or something.
For now, I consider myself as someone that is not actively looking for a relationship and feel comfortable alone. 😌
I'm almost 18 and I have never had a boyfriend, not even at the kindergarten... to be clear.
Once, I didn't care so much because one of my best friends was like me: an insecure and modest girl. But recently things have changed fast. Now she has become popular, she found a boyfriend effortless and, after their break-up, boys flirts with her at parties and she makes up with strangers; while I'm just the same as I was back then. I try hard to control my envy because she is a friend of mine, but it is not easy when you feel so unfairly single.
Thank you Zoe for this video: you made me feel understood and a little bit less alone ♡♡
Thank you so much for making this video. I'll soon be turning 23 too, in like a month, and just watching this and realising that I'm not the only with this experience has calmed down my anxiety about the whole issue tremendously. Love everything you said about the topic and I share the exact sentiments. Hope you had a lovely birthday ♥️
Still you don't have boyfriend?
I'm almost 22 and same, love the honesty and relatability. Whenever the subject comes up I just say my standards are just high 💅
And I am kinda of scared that is it really someone who can meet my standards? Nevertheless I will not lower it.
Same. I turned 23 at the beginning of the month and never had a boyfriend too. I would love to be in a relationship, but honestly? Just never had the feeling of "I want to date him". Don't get me wrong, I had some crushes, but somehow I didn't want to commit. Probably partly because I was to shy to even try and partly because I had the crushes in the past 5 years and didn't want to consider someoneelse in my life plans. I moved quite far away for university and with the beginning of next year I'll move again. (And I would have no interest in a long-distance-relationship). I think I have this internal fear that a relationship would hold me back in some aspects. Maybe that's not true. But yeah, my feelings just told me "he's not the one/this is not what you want". Oh, and the last thing I want, is to be in a relationship "just because".
Wow this is exactly how I feel thank you for writing this I feel less alone :)
Wow same!
Wow this is what i feel!!
I fell so much relief after watching this video. I´m 24, going on 25 and I also never been in a relacionship before and sometimes the fellings of anxiety anf shame are to real for my mental health to take. Thank you so much for this words of kindness and suport.
I’m 30 and still single. Never had a boyfriend. I think I have to agree with the whole confidence thing. I have been and is still building my confidence and I need to learn to not feel the need for validation. It’s hard but no pressure. I’d rather wait than be stressed about it. I deserve a good relationship. I’ve already waited for long. We deserve someone special. I really enjoyed watching your video.
Me too bestie, and I’m 24! (Just saw the title of the video, can’t wait to watch it)
this comment section (& the video) is literally making me feel reaffirmed/content in my singleness. I needed this so much, and everyone in the comments is so lovely I wish for the best for all of you!
Zoe, you are an Angel in disguise. I'm turning 21 in less than a month. I've always been confident and successful until now but it all spiralled down since last 3 years and I begin wanting to be someone else. You reminded me my real self and that my choices are valid. Love you ❤️
Thank you for making this video, I really needed the reminder that its okey. I'm 21 and I definetly feel the pressure. Maybe over coming social norms is hard but important. Like it should feel right and natural, not just jumping into something for the sake of not being behind. Hope we all find love when its the right time💕
Hey Annika, I am a 21 year old guy so the same age as you so I can understand how you feel. I am sure you are a very beautiful girl and I would have definitely got a crush on you if we were in same college. Here is one hug to you if you feel sad 🤗. I would have given you lots of hugs so you would have never felt lonely.
being single is such a great time for growth. all this time, energy, & love to devote to you 💞
MY 30 YO OLD AUNT HAS ALSO NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP ur not alone ZOE JUST LIVE LIFE LIKE U DO😃💙💙💙 the video was really good it can influence so many people
Thank you for the video! I never really felt insecure about it either. And "have to be someone really special to get over to the other side", so good said. Happy to hear someone else has similar opinions🥰
I recently just turned 21 and I cannot stress how much I relate to you. So many of my friends and family members are in relationships.( I was the only family member that was single during Christmas…and with an Asian family 😮💨.) I feel like I have a a lot of healing to do before I can fall in love. Thank you for making this.❤️
When you're still a teenager, you're prohibited to have a boyfriend 'coz you're still young. Having a boyfriend during you're teenage years is definitely a no. And if you reach your 20s and still haven't gotten yourself any boyfriend, you are definitely weird. YEAH, ✨ASIAN THINGS✨
I'm 22 and never had someone in my life EVER. I remember having a lot of insecurities about this at school, I thought I didn't deserve to be loved or "how can someone put up with me?". Since I entered uni it's different, I don't care anymore, I don't even think about it, I just want to focus on myself, on what I already have and being okay :,) You always reassure me a lot so I want to say thank you :")))
These video along with the comments make me feel so much better about choosing to be single for the time being. I value working on myself.
Thanks for sharing this Zoe…..I think it has really helped a lot of young ladies and grown women👍🏽. Also, thanks for sharing your “glow up” journey👏🏽
Honestly the relationship that I am in with myself is beautiful. I love my own company. I am my own best friend. I don't require anyone at the moment. I can literally meet all of my needs . Love an affection? Give that to my self . Time and attention ? Given . I am a great listener to my own thoughts.💕💕💕💕💕💕
i love this comment
I love all the support and love in the comments 🙌🏻 being in a relationship does not determine your validity as a person
Great video as always Zoe
what you said about self-confidence really resonate with me, I felt ugly my entire middle school years and so never allowed myself to like anyone, I always felt like I had very little worth. but now in highschool I'm starting to take care of my body and loving myself more, and I'm able to actually like other people :)
This makes me feel happy, I'm 19 and only dated someone when I was 15 and it just lasted for a week and never had my first kiss and everything. I'm in college and all my friends are experiencing their first but not me, I feel that I'm unattractive because no one wants a serious relationship with me. But because of this vid I feel heard and included because of this. Thank you
Thank you so much for this. I’m one of the people in my friend group that hasn’t dated before/had a bf/gf. I used to feel like I needed to defend myself on why I never got into a relationship and why I currently don’t prioritize one.
Everyone lives life differently and no one should feel pressured to live the way others do based on societal pressures.
I will be single until I find someone who adds value to my life or be forever single ✨😌
Thank you for this video! In my teen's I was so upset that I've never had a boyfriend. Thought that I had somekind of problems. Now I know that not having a boyfriend is fine and there's nothing wrong with you. So thank you - this topic is really need to be talked about
I'm 23, in the last year of my college and still single and honestly I did start to feel a little lonely at times after seeing all of my friends having these amazing relationships and ngl it did affect my self worth. This video came up randomly on my feed and I think I really needed it. I am working on self love and self value since January and I am getting better at it but there's still a lot pf work to be done. Thanks so much for uploading this video. It really helped me a lot and it kind of helped me release that pressure a bit❤️
Socially awkward 31 year old here-- today I'm going to call a guy who took me out on a first date last Friday and tell him that I we're not compatible.
Why am I doing this after only one date? Because he was pretty much pushing commitment the entire evening (he's also almost a decade older than myself)
I was going to talk to him now, on my lunch break, but I have to say thanks for this video, I'm feeling much more confident about this conversation later today.
Tbh, him pushing commitment on the _first_ date is kinda weird (but that’s just my opinion). And remember: he should respect your boundaries and what you feel comfortable with.
Good luck with your phone call! 💗
If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly was he doing?
considering his age, he probably just rushing to get married asap. good thing you say bye
Doing the right thing girl, don't feel like you're gonna regret it AT ALL
Yea, I couldn't date that much older. Age gaps have challenges.