Some things I left out: It's important that you let your husband know how his comments land on you emotionally. That you feel shut down and not good about yourself. Odds are that he is pretty self critical, so he feels like shame is a good way to motivate -- it's not, at least in the long term. It would also be good for you to express your desire to do more fun things together. You should be taking up an equal amount of space in the marriage and right now, your portion seems low. Good luck!
Some things I left out: It's important that you let your husband know how his comments land on you emotionally. That you feel shut down and not good about yourself. Odds are that he is pretty self critical, so he feels like shame is a good way to motivate -- it's not, at least in the long term. It would also be good for you to express your desire to do more fun things together. You should be taking up an equal amount of space in the marriage and right now, your portion seems low. Good luck!