If your a born in and have been told from infancy that you WILL die forever if you look at/read anything thing negative (apostate according to WT, not the bible )about the ORG you have no choice to believe it, it's all you know. Even as an adult the indoctrination has such a hold that otherwise intelligent adults won't even THINK about researching the ORG. Its like the baby elephant that was restrained with a small rope when young. When the elephant grew to an adult that same rope still restrained it even though the adult elephant could easily free itself. It had been indoctrinated to believe that the rope would hold it
One thing you said reminded me of a quote from another psychologist. I don’t remember the name. He said, “You can’t reason someone out of something they were never reasoned into.” It was what you said Stacey, that the JW’s are trained to believe what they believe. That is so true. I was trained from a child to buy all of their BS.
@@survivingparadisepodcast Your podcast is F’n awesome! I get up every Monday morning at 2 AM (that’s when I get the notification where I live) because your humor and voice relaxes and motivates at the same time before I go to work!!! Never stop until the tower crumbles!!!!!
While listening to this I realised that the JW religion is Never Neverland. You will never leave school, never fulfil any career, never grow old. When reality hits ... you will never see this paradise. Ouch! Reality hurts.
The hurt goes deep Stacey, for those of us who at one time believed in Neverland. That's why we need your broadcasts, they help us deal with the hurt and remind us that we are not alone. We have all been damaged by their false promises and phony predictions in one way or another, and your podcasts definitely assist in the healing process!!!
@@merrillgeorge381you are so right! My children have waken up but I still have family inside and it worries me the control they are subject to. And this religion is so cruel it DOES divide families!!!
I understand you Stacey as an adult who still fantasizes. My escape is collecting all the Transformers toys I was never allowed to have as a JW kid. I will sit in my living room converting them back and forth. I also LOVE Legos!
Thank you for this. I have been feeling lost lately. It’s going to take time. But at least I left while my kids were still little enough to not have to go through what I did my entire life.
I'm so sorry Amanda, be kind to yourself, don't be hard on yourself. YES...to get your children away from this is a HEROIC decision....it's worth continuing to heal!
I am going through the exact same scenario! Even though, not baptised, I believed it all to be true! I lost all the older generation of relatives and friends, I never was taught to cope with aging & death! No way! Now I am aging and I panic,yet.How did tjis all come to fruition? I know better, now, but yes the damage is done,and I am feeling it! Thanks for this awakening subject. My goodness , I told my therapist about this,, believe it or not! Causes grief and sorrow!🙁
I'm SO glad you're in therapy, it's so helpful to talk it out with the right person!! YES...with each birthday I get a queasy feeling....it's real, but we aren't alone!
Thank you, you are stating the truth. I left many years ago, and it was difficult to look at the other alternatives of what life and death was all about. You can't get around it. I am now in my 70's, I have watched aged JW people think that they can defy death, but they have died. They were hoping that Armageddon would happen as promised by the GB. Remember the GB says Armageddon could happen any day now, as they laugh all the way to their bank. Can you honestly tell me that they have helped anyone in financially in need? They don't, ever. Is that Godly Love? Tough choices.
To realize how to react on a fantasy once you wake up? Horrible, feels like a treason! I was Catholic till I became 17 and got convinced the org was “the truth”. And this is 1000 worst than learning who is Santa Clause ! The fantasy that took me 43 years of my life to learn it wasn’t true and impacted my life! But time is the best healer! So glad I’m OUT!! And better yet- all my children woke up!! Thanks for your podcast! Everything you said is so true!! And as I always: DOWN WITH THE TOWERRR!!!
Hello, fellow 'apostates'😊♥️🇳🇱 Thank you, Stacey! I've only been a bible study for a couple of years, but I've seen what these false expectations do to people...😢😢😢
Great video! I live in Hawaii and can actually say that this is as close to paradise that I’ll ever get…. Let’s hope that the witnesses wake up by the masses and start to enjoy the one true life that they have right here right now.
Personally I never ever felt that way I was not convinced of it being the " truth" it just felt fake .Now even after all these years I still despise how it ruin my life.
So very true. I believed it over 50 years, never ever thought of dying or even getting old! Never ever thought of retirement either and here I am 67 years old. Fortunately I worked all my life and now being retired I have a pension and SS. Not having debt helps too. These things I have, not because of watchtowers advice, but because I did NOT DO what they wrote in various articles.(YOU MENTIONED SOME) now I’m old and know that I will die and that’s not an easy pill to swallow! Only when you been in this cult as a young person , you understand the feeling!
I appreciate what you do, Stacey. It’s been a little more than a year since I left and I can’t get beyond the bitterness …..and the terror of never being with or seeing my loved ones again. I think I’ve fallen into the agnostic pool at 55. My whole life I believed in paradise, and now I don’t know what to believe and it is terrifying. I sit on my couch every day feeling paralyzed and I can’t even work or have normal people relations yet. I hope it does get better. I look forward to your Monday postings. Editing to add that I too am 56 this year. 😳
Feeling Sad is Normal, but Staying there is What Disfellowshiping is Supposed to Do. The JW Knows this, But don't let them see U Sweat :) Let them know that I/You CAN Be Happy without Them Telling You When to Be Happy. There like a Bully taking a toy from a kid and watching them Cry. Let them have that toy, And let them have All those who Didn't stick Up for You. Be Honest do u really want People in your Life who Don't Chose you first? I Don't. ❤ I want someone who will at least respect how I feel and Won't PUNISH Me for my Human Intuitivness That GOD Himself Gave Me!! Be Bless and Know you are not alone. WE are ALL here For you!!❤ And Stacy is a Blessing!!
Oh Kathy, I know those feelings so well! NUMB....I would disassociate constantly in the beginning. Please be good to yourself, we are the same age and a unique generation of ex JWs....it DOES get better, but actively care for yourself, seek therapy, get outside.....new friends will come!
Stacy, I give 35 years to this fantasy. I have been in the hospital 3 times due to fear and stress. The Governing Body has never offered counseling and feel they don't need to apologize for what has been encouraged and printed. I'm so glad to be out building true connections. I love to plant and build. My goal is to make friends with the local birds by practicing the art of stillness. Thank you, Brother. I laughed and cried, listening to you. You speak of molecules and cells as I do. #ridetheelephant
I remember, years ago, a Watchtower study article that mentioned folks that excelled in various areas, such as sports, the arts, science, etc. Then, to paraphrase, the article said, 'but where are they now? They are all dead!' Even then, as a devout Witness, I thought, 'Yes, but at least they got to use their talents while they were alive.' I am grateful that after I left the Org, I went to university and fulfilled a formally "not allowed" dream of becoming an elementary school teacher. It was marvellous fun, and fulfilling! 😀❤ A much more worthwhile use of my time than knocking on doors, and recording countless NHs. 😉 Thanks for your thoughtful and powerful videos, Stacy! Very helpful for my ongoing, deprogramming process. 😀
It always makes my day to see people that got educated and pursued the life they wanted, so great Suzie!!! I love the little people....so elementary school must be fun! I actually remember that article...I believed I was going to play NFL football....and they killed it
I left about half a year ago and that first time confronting the concept of death possibly being the end and how this is the only life I get made me break down. I've come to terms with it now, but it can be completely overwhelming to change over your mindset.
@@survivingparadisepodcast I agree, I'm much happier being free and knowing the truth then I ever was under their thumb. I find my happiness in my current life and how I can be fulfilled is so long as I die content with how I lived.
👋🏼This topic made me feel so sad in the thought of the horrible and disillusioned death my Father experienced. My Father was a sincere hook-line-and-sinker JW, Regular Pioneer for several decades, a good Man all around… Had such continuous fervor… FOR NOTHING!!! 😓😓😓
Another wonderful episode Stacey, don’t take this the wrong way but this was a difficult episode to listen to. It’s heartbreaking thinking of my PIMI family and knowing that their future hopes are completely fabricated. But alas, I know the truth (the real truth lol) will prevail and what gives me hope is seeing wonderful people and stories like yours of those ex JWs who woke up later in life. Life is hard and heartbreaking but it is also beautiful. I hope you enjoyed Super Bowl weekend!
Even after being out for years, I held on to the possibility of this fantasy until recently. When you wake up and realize it’s all a lie, and have to think about life in a completely different way, it’s incredibly difficult and painful. I don’t know what I believe now about so many things. Life, death, God, spirits, the earth, why are we here….etc. Thanks for the validation Stacy. And yes therapy is needed!!
Thanks Stacey, yes indeed loosing paradise is very traumatic. It's like awakening from the Matrix (great movie!) into a harsh reality. It's been almost two years for me since my awakening and had to learn how to cope with my fear of death and not seeing the paradise fantasy I've been lead to believe. But I've come to realize that there are over 8 billion people afraid of the same thing. Religion was created out of that fear of death. I consider myself agnostic now and have come to acknowledge that it's okay to say, “I don't know.” I don't know what comes after death. I don't know what came before the big band or what will come after the universe ends. I don't know if there is other intelligent life in the trillions of galaxy's that have been discovered, though I would like to hope so. But I do know this, I'm alive now and I can take the good parts of the “truth.” To love ourselves, to love, respect and be kind to others. To love our planet and the living creature that inhabit it. To be grateful for what I have and to share what I have with others. To find joy in the things those nine guys have told us to put on hold for the fantasy. Joy in my friends and family, who will live on in my memory. Joy in the arts and science. Joy in [fill in the blank]. There are other ways to feed the spirit, meditation (I practice transcendental meditation now), physical exercise, a walk in the woods, etc. There is life after the fantasy, live it the best you can. If there is something after death, nice! If not I can still take comfort in resting in sleep and maybe I've left a little piece of myself that helped someone else that they can remember me by.
This is an outstanding post!!! Like you, I became agnostic and found comfort in NOT knowing all the answers. It was tricky, there were good days and bad days, but I realized I had to do a ton of unpacking....I'd been hammered with all of this since I was a child. GREAT message...and meditation and taking a spiritual course is still very good for many of us. Thank you for the post!!
Daydreamer 🙋🏼♀️ it was even on my report cards and they’d remove me from the seat next to any window... I hadn’t consciencely woken up yet when I left. For a while it was very strange to not see myself in the future I had projected in my life till then. Eventually I switched into thinking I’d rather live happy right now and it was worth letting go of that old fantasy I never knew if it would ever become a reality. It’s a journey to get to really know yourself, the new dreams... and worth it. It’s almost like becoming a real adult 🤣
@@John-fi5ik Well, if it were up to me, Stacy would live forever. He's a good guy. But alas: The BJ* in the sky will probably kill him (like everyone else). What can you do? * Big Jehovah.
@@John-fi5ikSO will the ENTIRE POPULATION OF LITERALLY EVERYONE, Bozo. WELCOME to the REAL WORLD. Try to enjoy it a little before you're gone. 🙄 Doubt you will.
I guess I was a different kind of born in. I never converted from no beliefs in gods to a good JW soldier. The congregation must have thought I had a death wish. I refused baptism every step of the way. Didn't quite get how getting in a swimming pool determined if I live or die. When you're a born in, they assume the child believes in the bible and god. The fantasy to me as a 12 year old was the entire belief of their Jehoobah. They failed to convince me that deity existed so I could not progress into considering their doctrines and rules. Though my experience there was riddled with abuse and pain, I am thankful I didn't have to deconvert or worry about an Armageddon or a god watching me to see if I go on to choose a path that really leads to "him." I feel terrible for those who still worry about a judgement day and failing a god.
When leaving the fantasy, I seriously contemplated suicide, but I still believe the Bible and worried there might be a fiery hell and don't want to end up there.
@@survivingparadisepodcast it's been a struggle and I look forward to death but I wouldn't do it myself. I just feel like I am too old now and have nothing left to live for.
Yeah I had a real struggle when I left facing the reality I was going to get old and die. I had to talk about it with my therapist. I still have waves of anxiety about it. I truly was used to living in a fantasy.
@@survivingparadisepodcast Ohhhh ya. Fantasy Island, also known as Blumhouse's Fantasy Island. (2020). “A horror adaptation of the popular '70s TV show about a magical island resort. It follows a group of people who, while visiting the eponymous island, discover that their dream-like fantasies brought to life begin to turn into horrific living nightmares and they must try to survive.” It’s kinda described like the organization … 😂😂😂. It’s goooood! But then, I love the horror, zombie, scary genre. Grew up on Creature Feature, Night Gallery, Dark Shadows, The Night Stalker and of course, anything George A. Romeo, the king of Zombies. Romeo & Rod Sterling are legends! Nothing like being in Sun Valley Mall for the midnight movie of Dawn of The Dead back in the day. 😂🧟
What a great podcast Stacey,,,, you know what,,, I did enjoyed it tho it had a little toxic side to it and it's because hearing you mention seeing past loved ones in the paradise and having exotic animals as pets and living forever brings memories of how they used my book of Bible stories you know, that bright yellow book, and watching the images of people living happily in harmony,,,, I was bout six years old,,,, I made 45 in December and am seeing more grey in my mustache,,,,, but your podcast as usual an eye opener,,,, great podcast as usual and till next week.😊
I'm completely gray! Something I NEVER imagined I would ever see.....I'm white, with a white goatee....it's still strange! Knowing the resurrection hope was a lie hurt so bad.....trust me, I understand....you're still young David!
Beautiful podcast episode as usual. I’m using this as a topic of study for my research paper in my master’s program. I appreciate all you do Stacey! Thank up for recommending therapy, please reach out to a mental health professional if needed. ❤
JW logic: 'The word "Trinity" does not appear in the Bible, proving it's not a Bible teaching.' logical retort: 'The term "Paradise Earth" does not appear in the Bible, proving it's not a Bible teaching.'
Before I became "Bible study", I was an atheist, then I believed in the JW fantasy for 2 years, then I tried to still believe in God and some kind of afterlife for some time, but it didn't work out and I returned to atheism. I really miss that belief, even though I now know it's not true. I'd rather it be true than just this one miserable life and that's it. I was happier when I believed in fantasy.
The same loving God or god who gives us on average 35.000 days of life if we are lucky and so much human misery. With 74 million people dying every year and the WHOrganistation tell us that 23.000 children under the age of 16 pass away everyday. A loving God or god just to prove his was is the right way over satan to prove a point it's illogical . No matter how hard I try I just find it all so cruel and heartbreaking
My interpretation of the biblical hope: the physical realm and spiritual realm will be combined. This will be the “new heavens and new earth we are awaiting according to his promise” “And the tent of God will be with mankind” Everyone “Standing before the lamb” “New Jerusalem” The “new creation” No two class system No governing body etc etc etc..
OMG! This was such a good in presentation & thinking material!! Mr Bauman you impress me with your research skills and voice!!!. I need to send you a birthday gift ...when is your birthday day and month is fine?. I do appreciate you!! I am a faded JW left in mid 1980 but raised and baptized as one. Strange behavior made me see that something was not right. Thank you for your hard work!!
This. Youth all but gone. No savings to speak of. Barely better than minimum wage job. Still going to get older and eventually die. But you want to know the worst of it? I will never have my own panda. How does one even begin to grapple with that realization?
@@survivingparadisepodcast Sir, you would have no reason to know this, but, as a female, I cannot, in all good conscience, accept your hug unless you are accompanied by a chaperone . . . winky face emoji, shocked face emoji, break-dancing giraffe emoji. Oh. No. Sorry. I meant to say "thank you." I always get those two mixed up . . .
Grew up in Bay Area and was JW (1970 to 2003), we probably went to the same Fremont assembly hall for circuit assemblies, District conventions; Keystone, Oakland stadium, Candlestick, then Cow Palace!
YES!! We did Elaine!!! I grew up going to the Fremont Assembly Hall...remember going outside and petting the horses??? Oh yes, sun burned at Candlestick and getting lost in Oakland....but the Cow Palace with all the rock pictures on the wall were my favorite!!!
@@survivingparadisepodcast , yes, the concert photos!!!! I got my 10,000 steps in during the district convention!!! I didn't get sunburned at the outside assemblies, because Little House on the Prairie was all the rage, in my small town congregation, so we all had "bonnets" during the 70's. Some of the sisters sewed and we had Holly Hobby bonnets. It was so cute!!!
Whenever I see my brother and sisters, it amazes me how they can still believe in this religion. They were told as you say, they would never get old but we are old; yet they still hang on to the fantasy. As you say, we have to careful what we take in from outside sources whom we deem as reliable. I used to put my faith in the scientists until I realized when they talk about things beyond the physical they were just making assumptions which were frequently negative.
I sometimes read 'New Scientist' magazine and have written statements by scientists making 'assumptions' on that which they can not prove scientifically. What's worse they make you feel stupid if you disagree with them.
All thus grief I am in now added ti losing my sweet kind of DF ed. wife .They were so cruel to her and i tried to hold back their fears on my tam then after 30 years serving the brotherhood only to be abandoned . Oh, how do I survive this?
MANY of us understand. I was a well known elder used extensively.....then I had leprosy. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I personally recommend disfellowshipping THEM if you can.....you deserve peace
@@survivingparadisepodcast I appreciate that, but it's just my reality. I've never been able to relate to the loving grandparents idea. It's okay, I outlived them and now it doesn't really matter. I, too, am 56, and it all just fades into the black.
This was another great talk. Anyone truly seeking god should go to the Catholic church and see a priest. Then you are left to prayer and believe me you will find Him. Do not be afraid Jesus has overcome the world ❤.
Stacey, of course you’re agnostic ! Had I had the misfortune of growing up in an obviously Satanic cult , I too would be either agnostic or atheist. T.Y. Jesus for the good fortune of being a worldly demon,and ducking fireballs at some made up Jehovah day.🤣😂😜
Paradise invisible place, where your soul rest in peace it’s called paradise. Paradise isn’t heaven neither on earth. When you die your spirit returned to Jehovah God because he gave us. Your soul rest in paradise and your body disappear forever because God created by dust. Your body returned original dust. No Holy Spirit leading organization can’t open their spiritual eyes and ears too.
Part of the gb’s ‘power’ is they can threaten death if people leave the organisation.
Another excellent recording, thank you.
Ah, the power of F A N T A S T I C A L thinking! 😂😂😂 They WISH!!
If your a born in and have been told from infancy that you WILL die forever if you look at/read anything thing negative (apostate according to WT, not the bible )about the ORG you have no choice to believe it, it's all you know. Even as an adult the indoctrination has such a hold that otherwise intelligent adults won't even THINK about researching the ORG. Its like the baby elephant that was restrained with a small rope when young. When the elephant grew to an adult that same rope still restrained it even though the adult elephant could easily free itself. It had been indoctrinated to believe that the rope would hold it
Thank you Paula, so true....fear: death and shunning. Truly the tools of a cult
The loss of community and family is a monumental grief; the loss of the "dream", another grief altogether. Honoring the time needed to mourn helps ❤.
Very well said!!
One thing you said reminded me of a quote from another psychologist. I don’t remember the name. He said, “You can’t reason someone out of something they were never reasoned into.” It was what you said Stacey, that the JW’s are trained to believe what they believe. That is so true. I was trained from a child to buy all of their BS.
So true.
_"Listen, _*_obey,_*_ and be blessed."_ Nothing there about reason.
quotefancy.com/media/wallpaper/3840x2160/312618-Jonathan-Swift-Quote-You-cannot-reason-a-person-out-of-a-position.jpg
I LOVE that quote!!! They get people as children...and that's now in jeopardy for them!
Oh, those....words!@@adamantiumbullet9215
@@survivingparadisepodcast Your podcast is F’n awesome! I get up every Monday morning at 2 AM (that’s when I get the notification where I live) because your humor and voice relaxes and motivates at the same time before I go to work!!! Never stop until the tower crumbles!!!!!
I can't believe I got bamboozled by this cult. (Left 30 years ago) Your explanations are so well reasoned and true.Thank You!
We all deal with similar feelings and shock. It truly requires breaking free before you can look at it all
I saw a piece on religion being a virus that controls the victim. Only when the virus inactivated does the victim regain faculties.
While listening to this I realised that the JW religion is Never Neverland. You will never leave school, never fulfil any career, never grow old. When reality hits ... you will never see this paradise. Ouch! Reality hurts.
I think the GB read Peter Pan's story lol
I agree. Well said.
LOL, I love that NEVER Land....so true!!! it hurts bad
The hurt goes deep Stacey, for those of us who at one time believed in Neverland. That's why we need your broadcasts, they help us deal with the hurt and remind us that we are not alone. We have all been damaged by their false promises and phony predictions in one way or another, and your podcasts definitely assist in the healing process!!!
@@merrillgeorge381you are so right!
My children have waken up but I still have family inside and it worries me the control they are subject to. And this religion is so cruel it DOES divide families!!!
I understand you Stacey as an adult who still fantasizes. My escape is collecting all the Transformers toys I was never allowed to have as a JW kid. I will sit in my living room converting them back and forth. I also LOVE Legos!
Love it!! Enjoy every second of that!!!
Thank you Stacey. Great episode! Facing the reality that I was tricked into this cult was hard, but the FREEDOM I get today is a million times better!
Thank you Estee!!! FREEEEEDOMMMMM!
Thank you for this. I have been feeling lost lately. It’s going to take time. But at least I left while my kids were still little enough to not have to go through what I did my entire life.
I'm so sorry Amanda, be kind to yourself, don't be hard on yourself. YES...to get your children away from this is a HEROIC decision....it's worth continuing to heal!
I am going through the exact same scenario! Even though, not baptised, I believed it all to be true! I lost all the older generation of relatives and friends, I never was taught to cope with aging & death! No way! Now I am aging and I panic,yet.How did tjis all come to fruition? I know better, now, but yes the damage is done,and I am feeling it! Thanks for this awakening subject. My goodness , I told my therapist about this,, believe it or not! Causes grief and sorrow!🙁
I'm SO glad you're in therapy, it's so helpful to talk it out with the right person!! YES...with each birthday I get a queasy feeling....it's real, but we aren't alone!
Thank you, you are stating the truth. I left many years ago, and it was difficult to look at the other alternatives of what life and death was all about. You can't get around it. I am now in my 70's, I have watched aged JW people think that they can defy death, but they have died. They were hoping that Armageddon would happen as promised by the GB. Remember the GB says Armageddon could happen any day now, as they laugh all the way to their bank. Can you honestly tell me that they have helped anyone in financially in need? They don't, ever. Is that Godly Love? Tough choices.
So true Gisella....a truly painful subject for several generations of former JWs....so sorry. Big hugs to you!!!
To realize how to react on a fantasy once you wake up? Horrible, feels like a treason!
I was Catholic till I became 17 and got convinced the org was “the truth”. And this is 1000 worst than learning who is Santa Clause ! The fantasy that took me 43 years of my life to learn it wasn’t true and impacted my life!
But time is the best healer!
So glad I’m OUT!! And better yet- all my children woke up!!
Thanks for your podcast! Everything you said is so true!!
And as I always:
DOWN WITH THE TOWERRR!!!
YES!! So glad you're out too....wow, you've seen a few things with that background!
Hello, fellow 'apostates'😊♥️🇳🇱
Thank you, Stacey! I've only been a bible study for a couple of years, but I've seen what these false expectations do to people...😢😢😢
SO glad you haven't been in that baptism pool!! That is when they have you!!
Great video! I live in Hawaii and can actually say that this is as close to paradise that I’ll ever get…. Let’s hope that the witnesses wake up by the masses and start to enjoy the one true life that they have right here right now.
Love it Jeron.....Hawaii is incredible!!! Let's keep trying to help those still trapped, love your stuff!!
Monday morning- it’s time to enter into the spiritual paradise hosted by Stacy! ❤️❤️🌸🍾🍹
Thanks Beauty!
Thank you for the therapy sessions. You're the best.
Thank you for being here...our own little therapy group!
“Life is just a fantasy, can you live this fantasy life?” - Aldo Nova
😂
LOL, LOL I tried so hard to work in that song and couldn't figure out how to do it!!! 1982's best
“Come to see victory in the land of fantasy “ - Earth, Wind &Fire
THIS makes my day.....anytime you can rollout a EWR reference......sigh, the best of times and bands!
and to think we were always so proud to say we were born or grew up in the truth. If only we knew how unfortunate that fact was!!!😢
It's really something isn't it? We thought we had one 'up' on the world!
Personally I never ever felt that way I was not convinced of it being the " truth" it just felt fake .Now even after all these years I still despise how it ruin my life.
@@karenmoody2763 the level of organization and legalism they employ sucks out any real feeling of warmth and genuineness.
You're far from alone!@@karenmoody2763
Good evening/morning friends. 🤜🏻🤛🏻💪🏼
So very true. I believed it over 50 years, never ever thought of dying or even getting old! Never ever thought of retirement either and here I am 67 years old. Fortunately I worked all my life and now being retired I have a pension and SS. Not having debt helps too. These things I have, not because of watchtowers advice, but because I did NOT DO what they wrote in various articles.(YOU MENTIONED SOME) now I’m old and know that I will die and that’s not an easy pill to swallow! Only when you been in this cult as a young person , you understand the feeling!
You're not alone Beauty, many, many of us understand and share it all with you!
@@survivingparadisepodcast yes, I know. We will survive, because we have a great community! Thanks for all your videos!!!!❤️❤️
I appreciate what you do, Stacey. It’s been a little more than a year since I left and I can’t get beyond the bitterness …..and the terror of never being with or seeing my loved ones again. I think I’ve fallen into the agnostic pool at 55. My whole life I believed in paradise, and now I don’t know what to believe and it is terrifying. I sit on my couch every day feeling paralyzed and I can’t even work or have normal people relations yet. I hope it does get better. I look forward to your Monday postings. Editing to add that I too am 56 this year. 😳
Feeling Sad is Normal, but Staying there is What Disfellowshiping is Supposed to Do. The JW Knows this, But don't let them see U Sweat :) Let them know that I/You CAN Be Happy without Them Telling You When to Be Happy. There like a Bully taking a toy from a kid and watching them Cry. Let them have that toy, And let them have All those who Didn't stick Up for You. Be Honest do u really want People in your Life who Don't Chose you first? I Don't. ❤ I want someone who will at least respect how I feel and Won't PUNISH Me for my Human Intuitivness That GOD Himself Gave Me!! Be Bless and Know you are not alone. WE are ALL here For you!!❤ And Stacy is a Blessing!!
I relate fully... One day we should all move into together and help each other out!
Oh Kathy, I know those feelings so well! NUMB....I would disassociate constantly in the beginning. Please be good to yourself, we are the same age and a unique generation of ex JWs....it DOES get better, but actively care for yourself, seek therapy, get outside.....new friends will come!
Wonderful, loving advice Michelle!@@michelleallen4585
Imagine the stories!@@majafleur9646
Always interesting podcast ..thank You !
Thanks Digi!!
Stacy, I give 35 years to this fantasy. I have been in the hospital 3 times due to fear and stress. The Governing Body has never offered counseling and feel they don't need to apologize for what has been encouraged and printed. I'm so glad to be out building true connections. I love to plant and build. My goal is to make friends with the local birds by practicing the art of stillness. Thank you, Brother. I laughed and cried, listening to you. You speak of molecules and cells as I do.
#ridetheelephant
I remember, years ago, a Watchtower study article that mentioned folks that excelled in various areas, such as sports, the arts, science, etc. Then, to paraphrase, the article said, 'but where are they now? They are all dead!' Even then, as a devout Witness, I thought, 'Yes, but at least they got to use their talents while they were alive.' I am grateful that after I left the Org, I went to university and fulfilled a formally "not allowed" dream of becoming an elementary school teacher. It was marvellous fun, and fulfilling! 😀❤ A much more worthwhile use of my time than knocking on doors, and recording countless NHs. 😉 Thanks for your thoughtful and powerful videos, Stacy! Very helpful for my ongoing, deprogramming process. 😀
It always makes my day to see people that got educated and pursued the life they wanted, so great Suzie!!! I love the little people....so elementary school must be fun! I actually remember that article...I believed I was going to play NFL football....and they killed it
I left about half a year ago and that first time confronting the concept of death possibly being the end and how this is the only life I get made me break down. I've come to terms with it now, but it can be completely overwhelming to change over your mindset.
You're not alone! We all come to a harsh reality on that subject; one we never contemplated....tough subject, but enjoy every second!
@@survivingparadisepodcast I agree, I'm much happier being free and knowing the truth then I ever was under their thumb. I find my happiness in my current life and how I can be fulfilled is so long as I die content with how I lived.
👋🏼This topic made me feel so sad in the thought of the horrible and disillusioned death my Father experienced. My Father was a sincere hook-line-and-sinker JW, Regular Pioneer for several decades, a good Man all around… Had such continuous fervor… FOR NOTHING!!! 😓😓😓
Another wonderful episode Stacey, don’t take this the wrong way but this was a difficult episode to listen to. It’s heartbreaking thinking of my PIMI family and knowing that their future hopes are completely fabricated. But alas, I know the truth (the real truth lol) will prevail and what gives me hope is seeing wonderful people and stories like yours of those ex JWs who woke up later in life. Life is hard and heartbreaking but it is also beautiful.
I hope you enjoyed Super Bowl weekend!
Thank you!! Tough subject....I ate too many carbs on Super Bowl Sunday LOL!!
I waited up specifically for this!! Thank you!!❤😊
Ditto. Even my cat’s up. Lol
You're too kind, thank you!!
Even after being out for years, I held on to the possibility of this fantasy until recently. When you wake up and realize it’s all a lie, and have to think about life in a completely different way, it’s incredibly difficult and painful. I don’t know what I believe now about so many things. Life, death, God, spirits, the earth, why are we here….etc. Thanks for the validation Stacy. And yes therapy is needed!!
Thank you Heather....so sorry. The reality is a gut punch and one that is hard to define....everyone must heal and enjoy every day!
Thanks Stacey, yes indeed loosing paradise is very traumatic. It's like awakening from the Matrix (great movie!) into a harsh reality. It's been almost two years for me since my awakening and had to learn how to cope with my fear of death and not seeing the paradise fantasy I've been lead to believe. But I've come to realize that there are over 8 billion people afraid of the same thing. Religion was created out of that fear of death.
I consider myself agnostic now and have come to acknowledge that it's okay to say, “I don't know.” I don't know what comes after death. I don't know what came before the big band or what will come after the universe ends. I don't know if there is other intelligent life in the trillions of galaxy's that have been discovered, though I would like to hope so.
But I do know this, I'm alive now and I can take the good parts of the “truth.” To love ourselves, to love, respect and be kind to others. To love our planet and the living creature that inhabit it. To be grateful for what I have and to share what I have with others. To find joy in the things those nine guys have told us to put on hold for the fantasy. Joy in my friends and family, who will live on in my memory. Joy in the arts and science. Joy in [fill in the blank].
There are other ways to feed the spirit, meditation (I practice transcendental meditation now), physical exercise, a walk in the woods, etc. There is life after the fantasy, live it the best you can. If there is something after death, nice! If not I can still take comfort in resting in sleep and maybe I've left a little piece of myself that helped someone else that they can remember me by.
This is an outstanding post!!! Like you, I became agnostic and found comfort in NOT knowing all the answers. It was tricky, there were good days and bad days, but I realized I had to do a ton of unpacking....I'd been hammered with all of this since I was a child. GREAT message...and meditation and taking a spiritual course is still very good for many of us. Thank you for the post!!
Very nice sayed. I love nature and now it's my religion. I love gardening, trees and flowers. I can do it now, not in future paradise.
Me too! I try to get out into the trees every week!@@veronikj.4231
Daydreamer 🙋🏼♀️ it was even on my report cards and they’d remove me from the seat next to any window...
I hadn’t consciencely woken up yet when I left. For a while it was very strange to not see myself in the future I had projected in my life till then. Eventually I switched into thinking I’d rather live happy right now and it was worth letting go of that old fantasy I never knew if it would ever become a reality. It’s a journey to get to really know yourself, the new dreams... and worth it. It’s almost like becoming a real adult 🤣
It's so true Naomi, it's a journey that takes time and you feel like you've 'grown up' or 'graduated!'
Wouldn't surprise me if some ex JW's suffer PTSD. The criteria is certainly there.
Most ex J Ws do suffer PTSD….SOME don’t.
Trust me, they do...therapist are often stunned by some of it
They do ..
🥱
Must be Monday morning. Yay! 🙂
@@John-fi5ik Well, if it were up to me, Stacy would live forever. He's a good guy.
But alas: The BJ* in the sky will probably kill him (like everyone else). What can you do?
* Big Jehovah.
@@John-fi5ikSO will the ENTIRE POPULATION OF LITERALLY EVERYONE, Bozo. WELCOME to the REAL WORLD. Try to enjoy it a little before you're gone. 🙄 Doubt you will.
@@xjwfurious I stoped at BJ in the sky & was like, “Is he talking about the mile high club?” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂, but then I read on. 😂
@@jackijax505 😀
Not a bad way to go. 😛
@@xjwfurious 😂😂😂😂
Right? 😉
Priceless! Prov 13:12 is the reason JW's are so depressed. And then there is ALL the rest of it!
well said!!!
A lot in this show is how I felt
You're not alone my friend
Great presentation💯
Thanks Reginald!
WT Glossary of Terms:
*will:* won't
*never:* almost certainly will
*"indisputable":* 100% disputable
Soon: Any time between 5 minutes and 200 years
Shortly: See above.
Similarly: totally unrelated
@@naomiwillemsen9836 😄
faithful and discreet = neither faithful nor discreet.
"evidently" ...you can see through them ;)
I guess I was a different kind of born in. I never converted from no beliefs in gods to a good JW soldier. The congregation must have thought I had a death wish. I refused baptism every step of the way. Didn't quite get how getting in a swimming pool determined if I live or die. When you're a born in, they assume the child believes in the bible and god. The fantasy to me as a 12 year old was the entire belief of their Jehoobah. They failed to convince me that deity existed so I could not progress into considering their doctrines and rules. Though my experience there was riddled with abuse and pain, I am thankful I didn't have to deconvert or worry about an Armageddon or a god watching me to see if I go on to choose a path that really leads to "him." I feel terrible for those who still worry about a judgement day and failing a god.
When leaving the fantasy, I seriously contemplated suicide, but I still believe the Bible and worried there might be a fiery hell and don't want to end up there.
Hope you have grown away from that, you are loved.
I'm VERY glad you dismissed that thought! It's okay to keep your beliefs, but please never consider an exit.....I hope you're doing much better now!!
@@survivingparadisepodcast it's been a struggle and I look forward to death but I wouldn't do it myself. I just feel like I am too old now and have nothing left to live for.
The reality is that most of us will need a doctor sooner or later and thank God someone did higher education.
YES and for those that disobeyed and pursued education: nothing but respect!
Yet again outstanding, I'm so glad I stumbled across your profile on RUclips and I look forward to new videos, it's like free therapy, thankyou
Thanks Ryan, appreciate you being here!
Yeah I had a real struggle when I left facing the reality I was going to get old and die. I had to talk about it with my therapist. I still have waves of anxiety about it. I truly was used to living in a fantasy.
All Watchtower needs to complete their Fantasy Island is a three foot tall guy on the Governing Body named "Tattoo".
😂😂😂
Have you seen the 2020 movie, Fantasy Island”? Good movie.
@@jackijax505
Yes, but the short version. It contained only the scenes with Tattoo in them.
"the plane.....the plane" LOL LOL.....I loved that show
what? There is a movie???@@jackijax505
@@survivingparadisepodcast Ohhhh ya.
Fantasy Island, also known as Blumhouse's Fantasy Island. (2020).
“A horror adaptation of the popular '70s TV show about a magical island resort. It follows a group of people who, while visiting the eponymous island, discover that their dream-like fantasies brought to life begin to turn into horrific living nightmares and they must try to survive.” It’s kinda described like the organization … 😂😂😂.
It’s goooood! But then, I love the horror, zombie, scary genre. Grew up on Creature Feature, Night Gallery,
Dark Shadows, The Night Stalker and of course, anything George A. Romeo, the king of Zombies.
Romeo & Rod Sterling are legends!
Nothing like being in Sun Valley Mall for the midnight movie of Dawn of The Dead back in the day. 😂🧟
What a great podcast Stacey,,,, you know what,,, I did enjoyed it tho it had a little toxic side to it and it's because hearing you mention seeing past loved ones in the paradise and having exotic animals as pets and living forever brings memories of how they used my book of Bible stories you know, that bright yellow book, and watching the images of people living happily in harmony,,,, I was bout six years old,,,, I made 45 in December and am seeing more grey in my mustache,,,,, but your podcast as usual an eye opener,,,, great podcast as usual and till next week.😊
I'm completely gray! Something I NEVER imagined I would ever see.....I'm white, with a white goatee....it's still strange! Knowing the resurrection hope was a lie hurt so bad.....trust me, I understand....you're still young David!
@@survivingparadisepodcast thanks Stacey, thanks
Thank you Stacy💝
Thank YOU Judy!
Love you Stacy thank you!
For all the hard work for helping us!
Love you back, thank you!
@@survivingparadisepodcast you to back again!
Beautiful podcast episode as usual. I’m using this as a topic of study for my research paper in my master’s program. I appreciate all you do Stacey! Thank up for recommending therapy, please reach out to a mental health professional if needed. ❤
❤
“I have the hope of everlasting life” JW’s
“I have a fantasy of living forever” science fiction
Captain Kirk......beam me up!
Fatty Eglon story was a fave of mine too!
YES!!!!!! Finally someone else who loved that story LOL, LOL...made my day!
JW logic: 'The word "Trinity" does not appear in the Bible, proving it's not a Bible teaching.'
logical retort: 'The term "Paradise Earth" does not appear in the Bible, proving it's not a Bible teaching.'
LOL......and 99% of them don't know it
Before I became "Bible study", I was an atheist, then I believed in the JW fantasy for 2 years, then I tried to still believe in God and some kind of afterlife for some time, but it didn't work out and I returned to atheism. I really miss that belief, even though I now know it's not true. I'd rather it be true than just this one miserable life and that's it.
I was happier when I believed in fantasy.
YES, that belief was like a warm blanket. When everything else was failing, we always had that....only to have ripped away :(
The same loving God or god who gives us on average 35.000 days of life if we are lucky and so much human misery.
With 74 million people dying every year and the WHOrganistation tell us that 23.000 children under the age of 16 pass away everyday.
A loving God or god just to prove his was is the right way over satan to prove a point it's illogical .
No matter how hard I try I just find it all so cruel and heartbreaking
My interpretation of the biblical hope: the physical realm and spiritual realm will be combined.
This will be the “new heavens and new earth we are awaiting according to his promise”
“And the tent of God will be with mankind”
Everyone “Standing before the lamb”
“New Jerusalem”
The “new creation”
No two class system
No governing body etc etc etc..
Very interesting thoughts!!
OMG! This was such a good in presentation & thinking material!! Mr Bauman you impress me with your research skills and voice!!!. I need to send you a birthday gift ...when is your birthday day and month is fine?. I do appreciate you!! I am a faded JW left in mid 1980 but raised and baptized as one. Strange behavior made me see that something was not right. Thank you for your hard work!!
Thanks Jane!!! We are from the same generation. I'm an August baby, all Leo..... thank you for being here!
This. Youth all but gone. No savings to speak of. Barely better than minimum wage job. Still going to get older and eventually die. But you want to know the worst of it? I will never have my own panda. How does one even begin to grapple with that realization?
Life snatchers! 😡🤬
@@cultytalk Right? And without even the decency to play the spooky warning music before they do their snatching!
@@evilbuddha7819 seriously 😆 how RUDE lol
Big hugs my friend.....I can only say I TOTALLY understand ;(
@@survivingparadisepodcast Sir, you would have no reason to know this, but, as a female, I cannot, in all good conscience, accept your hug unless you are accompanied by a chaperone . . . winky face emoji, shocked face emoji, break-dancing giraffe emoji. Oh. No. Sorry. I meant to say "thank you." I always get those two mixed up . . .
Grew up in Bay Area and was JW (1970 to 2003), we probably went to the same Fremont assembly hall for circuit assemblies, District conventions; Keystone, Oakland stadium, Candlestick, then Cow Palace!
YES!! We did Elaine!!! I grew up going to the Fremont Assembly Hall...remember going outside and petting the horses??? Oh yes, sun burned at Candlestick and getting lost in Oakland....but the Cow Palace with all the rock pictures on the wall were my favorite!!!
@@survivingparadisepodcast , yes, the concert photos!!!! I got my 10,000 steps in during the district convention!!! I didn't get sunburned at the outside assemblies, because Little House on the Prairie was all the rage, in my small town congregation, so we all had "bonnets" during the 70's. Some of the sisters sewed and we had Holly Hobby bonnets. It was so cute!!!
Only 5 more sleeps til the next Monday 😊
Whenever I see my brother and sisters, it amazes me how they can still believe in this religion. They were told as you say, they would never get old but we are old; yet they still hang on to the fantasy. As you say, we have to careful what we take in from outside sources whom we deem as reliable. I used to put my faith in the scientists until I realized when they talk about things beyond the physical they were just making assumptions which were frequently negative.
Scientists don't "assume". They study, test & re-test data and report conclusions.
I sometimes read 'New Scientist' magazine and have written statements by scientists making 'assumptions' on that which they can not prove scientifically. What's worse they make you feel stupid if you disagree with them.
@@nicholsonlawrance5821 Sorry you feel stupid because someone thinks differently than you. That's sad.
It's shocking, but truthfully, long time JWs have stopped listening.....they're automatons ....they just keep obeying
All thus grief I am in now added ti losing my sweet kind of DF ed. wife .They were so cruel to her and i tried to hold back their fears on my tam then after 30 years serving the brotherhood only to be abandoned . Oh, how do I survive this?
What happened? Did you get disfellowshiped?
MANY of us understand. I was a well known elder used extensively.....then I had leprosy. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I personally recommend disfellowshipping THEM if you can.....you deserve peace
I don't want to see my grandparents again. Ever. They were pretty awful.
Wow, I'm so sorry Eric!!!
@@survivingparadisepodcast I appreciate that, but it's just my reality. I've never been able to relate to the loving grandparents idea. It's okay, I outlived them and now it doesn't really matter. I, too, am 56, and it all just fades into the black.
I want a pet panda.
i left when i was 16. im 57 now. none of my family talks to me at all. this is a cult.
This was another great talk. Anyone truly seeking god should go to the Catholic church and see a priest. Then you are left to prayer and believe me you will find Him. Do not be afraid Jesus has overcome the world ❤.
Anyone truly seeking God should go to Jesus, our High Priest.
Appreciate the kind thoughts. I'm personally agnostic
Stacey, of course you’re agnostic ! Had I had the misfortune of growing up in an obviously Satanic cult , I too would be either agnostic or atheist. T.Y. Jesus for the good fortune of being a worldly demon,and ducking fireballs at some made up Jehovah day.🤣😂😜
Paradise invisible place, where your soul rest in peace it’s called paradise. Paradise isn’t heaven neither on earth. When you die your spirit returned to Jehovah God because he gave us. Your soul rest in paradise and your body disappear forever because God created by dust. Your body returned original dust. No Holy Spirit leading organization can’t open their spiritual eyes and ears too.