Mine was a total narc his mom too... just imagine how brainwashed i was for 5 months before i decided to leave... Mind games, jealousy, gaslightings, blaming, never thankful, everytime poiting dirty fingers, competitiveness, comparison, working like a slave in their home.. they were the worst... i was so blind the love bombing phase that he convinced me to move with him and his awful mom. i was lovebombed by eachother then devalued , i felt like a piece of shit. I never saw a creepy and strange close relationship between a narc mom and a narc son.. i escaped before they descarded me, they were devastated... now he tries to hoover me, but he moved with the new supply and his mom... same as he did with me. I wanted to warn the new supply but i don't want to give them the reason to think i care or to make me crazy and look stupid. They groomed the new supply and now they flaunt all 3 on social media... i can't wait for the new supply to actually see what is she into and run away like me... i pity her.... honestly.. those are monsters.
The male narcissist and his Mom have such sick relationship..many times it's sexual..the son appreciates his mom advances when they are adults but I know it wasn't that way in the beginning..they just create more of the same
@ Yes, i was clever and figured out their dirty games... For that girl i don't know if she will run from them anyway.. now she's pregnant and still brainwashed by them.. i feel so sorry for her and the baby... Maybe she saw some red flags but now she's trapped in. They're married with a baby on the way... I think or she's too dumb and didn't notice or she is seeing the red flags but she's trapped with no money and a baby... plus the shame of her family friends... because they flaunt like crazy on social media about how much they love each other... recently she didnt post anything... so i think the love bomb phase is gone and she really sees the awful man she married... Poor baby hope one day she'll have the strength to leave... i had a narcissist parent and he almost ruined my life. I wish that child to grow in a lovely family , not with narcissists.
I have watched it twice as I am looking to understand that dynamic. In my experience evil (egoistical, hurtful, transgressing) action is used by the covert (passive aggressive) narcissist to create frustration and anger in the abused person, who will try to confront the narcissist and which the narcissist will use to paint the victim as a continuously nagging aggressor while putting themselves in the role of the victim, who did not “mean it”. Usually silent treatment will follow for about two days. I do want to add that I can comprehend evil better from the psychopath’s perspective - it is to gain something. The narcissist uses evil to sabotage other people, to depress them, annihilate their willpower. In that sense their evil seems more repulsive. It’s like they want to kill the animus of the dearests ones, so that they don’t witness him...
Dr. Vaknin, you have expertly explained a concept which has haunted my thoughts for quite some time. Thank you for sharing your intelligence and intellect with those of us who value and appreciate the pertinent information and your straightforward, no nonsense delivery. Much gratitude for you.
Thank you! Since I found your videos I watch it for hours because you make different topics very exciting. I am severely depressed and usually just get bored with everything (sorry for my bad english)
The narcissist I know got married because his partner got pregnant...and then he found out it was not his child. Also he tells everyone he has three daughters lol.
@@indiansummer1854 because they are children in adult bodies, very irresponsible. I've recently found my mother's diary (teenage years), she's a covert narc, and she knew something is off about her, but she never bothered to find out what exactly, but she knew, she knew that she might never be happy, or like, have sense of humor, emotions, she questions her behavior in that diary too, for example, she admits that "she feels good watching others suffer (but doesn't know why)". Basically it's a diary of an 18 year old girl who thinks and behaves like a 10 year old (I'm not quite sure when exactly the trauma/split occurred), very emotionally illiterate/immature. Interesting read, and good thing she had this diary, otherwise I would never knew who my mother really is, I mean, her human side.
I just thought of a quote from a cartoon character I heard decades ago. “I’m not really bad/evil, I was just drawn this way”. I don’t recall who said/wrote that.
Yes pastors and preachers and churches will try to side with the abuser just to keep a family together so that the abused wife dosen't leave him unless her life is threatened. Is this a personal experience most likely.
I am so thankful for my Pastor and Christian Counselor. I went to them for help to be a “better wife,” and they are the ones that recognized my ex-husband as a narcissist and said there was nothing I could do. I prayed for him and still pray for him, but according to my Pastor, “only God can change his heart.” He said that he doesn’t use the term “emotional abuse” lightly, because some women who think their husbands watch too much TV, think they are emotionally abused. My Pastor also said the God hates divorce, but God also hates abuse, and wouldn’t want me to live in a situation like that, with someone who is trying to destroy me. He was the one that said I was in the right to ask my husband to leave the home, and get some help. He also said that if I did that, he was sure my ex would file for divorce. And he did! It has been over a year now since the divorce was final, and it is a slow recovery, but I have peace in my life now and a sense of hope. My church is very conservative, so I was shocked when they helped me and supported me through the divorce. Thank you Jesus, for guiding me through this and healing my life and heart.
@@chrisschaefer5650 That is exactly how I feel right now in that emotional verbal and psychological abuse is all I have seen in 15 years and it's hard for me believe that God wants me to remain in it. It hurts my reputation to get a divorce but I have a tiny bit of self respect left and I trying to heal my wounds and no one can fault me for that. I aiming to not be a bitter person. I'm going to trigger therapy next month and I'm so excited. My pastor still wants me to work out . This would be nice but that takes two people not one.
As being a victim of a narcissist when first meeting them they put on a false face by trying to help you with your many problems. They give u loving words u have never heard. He had graduated from Hardaed university n yes was very intelligent so I was flatter to be with someone like him. But down the road he became someone else controll n many put me downs at the same time telling me how much he loved me. Going as far as telling my parents he wanted to marry me I knew he was lying to get his foot in the door with my parents. Why did he go that far in lying I'll never know
this is a really interesting dynamic. Even me searching for an answer to this question is basically seeking confirmation from some kind of social reference group. So I am already surrendering my morality to external sources. Also there is an urge to seek the motive of certain action, since we don't want the narcissist we loved to see us indifferently. We seek to forgive and find acceptance in his eyes. I hope to find the strength to act upon my principles and set boundaries based on perceived reality instead of endlessly looking for excuses to forgive.
Sam I just stumbled upon your videos a few months ago. This video was Amazing! Thank you sir, as synchronicity would have it, this month, the 7th month, I've been reflecting on the 7th step of the AA program 'Humbly ask him to remove our defects of character'.. that word Humbly, has led me down a path of discovery of the Ego, the isness as some would have it, and my/our Presumed identities. Also (I?) find the phrase 'Empty your Cup' another useful tool... the hard part is trying to conceptualize where I've come from, where do I go when I slip into ego and where are the others who never come out of character. That and the reality that we all try to be apart of 'the western world ideal' is a collective construct of the characters...the hard part being where do I fit in this > or is this just aNother trick of self trying to pull awarenes back into self... this would be negating the 1st 3 steps...
They can change but choose not to. Notice they don't behave the same way with everyone. They will never behave the same way with ppl they find more powerful.
Time to shed off the parts of you that is Dead Wood...this is hard and requires faith to step out into the dark...the unmapped... don't be sure the devil you don't know is worse than the devil do know..
And sometimes it's ok to accept the death inside..just pray for the courage to reach for the new that manifests from that death... sometimes the death of self is necessary... you have to die as a seed to live as a tree.. Empty your Cup..
So many variables. Good is causing no harm. An intent to cause harm is evil/bad/wrong. When observing psychological pathology, it is explained from a clinical perspective. The religious perspective of good and evil, is not a moral authority. Fascinating, once again Sam!
Yes.I don’t have perfect traits but Oh Yeah -it’s evil if it higher on the spectrum. Unless maybe,they can rein the malignant or covert traits in (by knowing and understanding they have them in the first place) by choice. We all choices…..
i'm not even sure what *evil* means would'nt it be grandiose for one to assume to know which actions are morally right or wrong? if the antidote is nothingness, why should moral values still matter?
@@rustinholliday2252 Are you saying, without society, most people would resort to murder, rape, etc? If so, does that mean that we are naturally *evil*?
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
Narcissism is not only evil, its diabolical...it becomes a choice once we know.
I have watched you for years, and I love how you are letting your sense of humor shine.
Right?!! Who knew! ‘’The’ malignant cerebral (but sometimes somatic) narcissist with a self deprecating sense of humor. We heart Professor Sam!!!
I should add I’m glad P Sam using his super powers for good!
Goal oriented..
Pleasure seeking..
Indifferent & offhanded..
& somtimes, all the above
Mine was a total narc his mom too... just imagine how brainwashed i was for 5 months before i decided to leave... Mind games, jealousy, gaslightings, blaming, never thankful, everytime poiting dirty fingers, competitiveness, comparison, working like a slave in their home.. they were the worst... i was so blind the love bombing phase that he convinced me to move with him and his awful mom. i was lovebombed by eachother then devalued , i felt like a piece of shit. I never saw a creepy and strange close relationship between a narc mom and a narc son.. i escaped before they descarded me, they were devastated... now he tries to hoover me, but he moved with the new supply and his mom... same as he did with me. I wanted to warn the new supply but i don't want to give them the reason to think i care or to make me crazy and look stupid. They groomed the new supply and now they flaunt all 3 on social media... i can't wait for the new supply to actually see what is she into and run away like me... i pity her.... honestly.. those are monsters.
My experience 100% Narc. Mom and Brother!!!!
@@claudiatrejos8229 They are o toxic to each other and together to others... the worst kind
The male narcissist and his Mom have such sick relationship..many times it's sexual..the son appreciates his mom advances when they are adults but I know it wasn't that way in the beginning..they just create more of the same
@ Yes, i was clever and figured out their dirty games... For that girl i don't know if she will run from them anyway.. now she's pregnant and still brainwashed by them.. i feel so sorry for her and the baby... Maybe she saw some red flags but now she's trapped in. They're married with a baby on the way... I think or she's too dumb and didn't notice or she is seeing the red flags but she's trapped with no money and a baby... plus the shame of her family friends... because they flaunt like crazy on social media about how much they love each other... recently she didnt post anything... so i think the love bomb phase is gone and she really sees the awful man she married... Poor baby hope one day she'll have the strength to leave... i had a narcissist parent and he almost ruined my life. I wish that child to grow in a lovely family , not with narcissists.
Update?
I have watched it twice as I am looking to understand that dynamic. In my experience evil (egoistical, hurtful, transgressing) action is used by the covert (passive aggressive) narcissist to create frustration and anger in the abused person, who will try to confront the narcissist and which the narcissist will use to paint the victim as a continuously nagging aggressor while putting themselves in the role of the victim, who did not “mean it”. Usually silent treatment will follow for about two days.
I do want to add that I can comprehend evil better from the psychopath’s perspective - it is to gain something. The narcissist uses evil to sabotage other people, to depress them, annihilate their willpower. In that sense their evil seems more repulsive. It’s like they want to kill the animus of the dearests ones, so that they don’t witness him...
Dr. Vaknin, you have expertly explained a concept which has haunted my thoughts for quite some time. Thank you for sharing your intelligence and intellect with those of us who value and appreciate the pertinent information and your straightforward, no nonsense delivery. Much gratitude for you.
Thank you! Since I found your videos I watch it for hours because you make different topics very exciting. I am severely depressed and usually just get bored with everything (sorry for my bad english)
@Osito Kintsugi Thank you, too
A narcissist should never get married!
Or have children.
The narcissist I know got married because his partner got pregnant...and then he found out it was not his child. Also he tells everyone he has three daughters lol.
@@indiansummer1854 because they are children in adult bodies, very irresponsible. I've recently found my mother's diary (teenage years), she's a covert narc, and she knew something is off about her, but she never bothered to find out what exactly, but she knew, she knew that she might never be happy, or like, have sense of humor, emotions, she questions her behavior in that diary too, for example, she admits that "she feels good watching others suffer (but doesn't know why)". Basically it's a diary of an 18 year old girl who thinks and behaves like a 10 year old (I'm not quite sure when exactly the trauma/split occurred), very emotionally illiterate/immature. Interesting read, and good thing she had this diary, otherwise I would never knew who my mother really is, I mean, her human side.
Let them marry each other and give each other a dose of their own medicine! xD
@@LisbethNevermore I just went from a son to a dose of their own medicine!
I just thought of a quote from a cartoon character I heard decades ago. “I’m not really bad/evil, I was just drawn this way”. I don’t recall who said/wrote that.
Jessica Rabbit
Yes pastors and preachers and churches will try to side with the abuser just to keep a family together so that the abused wife dosen't leave him unless her life is threatened. Is this a personal experience most likely.
Yes, that how it was for me.
@@catfour34 yes some people can't see what you're going through no matter what you say . But going to a good therapist is helpful sometimes.
@@JM-fm9tz I have started therapy. Tonight will be my 2nd session.
I am so thankful for my Pastor and Christian Counselor. I went to them for help to be a “better wife,” and they are the ones that recognized my ex-husband as a narcissist and said there was nothing I could do. I prayed for him and still pray for him, but according to my Pastor, “only God can change his heart.” He said that he doesn’t use the term “emotional abuse” lightly, because some women who think their husbands watch too much TV, think they are emotionally abused. My Pastor also said the God hates divorce, but God also hates abuse, and wouldn’t want me to live in a situation like that, with someone who is trying to destroy me. He was the one that said I was in the right to ask my husband to leave the home, and get some help. He also said that if I did that, he was sure my ex would file for divorce. And he did! It has been over a year now since the divorce was final, and it is a slow recovery, but I have peace in my life now and a sense of hope. My church is very conservative, so I was shocked when they helped me and supported me through the divorce. Thank you Jesus, for guiding me through this and healing my life and heart.
@@chrisschaefer5650 That is exactly how I feel right now in that emotional verbal and psychological abuse is all I have seen in 15 years and it's hard for me believe that God wants me to remain in it. It hurts my reputation to get a divorce but I have a tiny bit of self respect left and I trying to heal my wounds and no one can fault me for that. I aiming to not be a bitter person. I'm going to trigger therapy next month and I'm so excited. My pastor still wants me to work out . This would be nice but that takes two people not one.
As being a victim of a narcissist when first meeting them they put on a false face by trying to help you with your many problems. They give u loving words u have never heard. He had graduated from Hardaed university n yes was very intelligent so I was flatter to be with someone like him. But down the road he became someone else controll n many put me downs at the same time telling me how much he loved me. Going as far as telling my parents he wanted to marry me I knew he was lying to get his foot in the door with my parents. Why did he go that far in lying I'll never know
I have never heard such a good explanations... never in my life... Thank you. 👏👏👏
I thank-you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom with us💞
"Behold I send thee out as sheep amongst the wolves"
The narcissist is a Wolf
this is a really interesting dynamic. Even me searching for an answer to this question is basically seeking confirmation from some kind of social reference group. So I am already surrendering my morality to external sources.
Also there is an urge to seek the motive of certain action, since we don't want the narcissist we loved to see us indifferently. We seek to forgive and find acceptance in his eyes. I hope to find the strength to act upon my principles and set boundaries based on perceived reality instead of endlessly looking for excuses to forgive.
Sam I just stumbled upon your videos a few months ago. This video was Amazing! Thank you sir, as synchronicity would have it, this month, the 7th month, I've been reflecting on the 7th step of the AA program 'Humbly ask him to remove our defects of character'.. that word Humbly, has led me down a path of discovery of the Ego, the isness as some would have it, and my/our Presumed identities. Also (I?) find the phrase 'Empty your Cup' another useful tool... the hard part is trying to conceptualize where I've come from, where do I go when I slip into ego and where are the others who never come out of character. That and the reality that we all try to be apart of 'the western world ideal' is a collective construct of the characters...the hard part being where do I fit in this > or is this just aNother trick of self trying to pull awarenes back into self... this would be negating the 1st 3 steps...
They can change but choose not to. Notice they don't behave the same way with everyone. They will never behave the same way with ppl they find more powerful.
Or in prison, where they are intimidated.
@@achiengcaroline5920 right !you got the ponit
No one behaves the same with everybody.
I’m dead inside.
Time to shed off the parts of you that is Dead Wood...this is hard and requires faith to step out into the dark...the unmapped... don't be sure the devil you don't know is worse than the devil do know..
I wish I had said this, for I am dead inside as well. An extreme crisis of existence plagues me.
And sometimes it's ok to accept the death inside..just pray for the courage to reach for the new that manifests from that death... sometimes the death of self is necessary... you have to die as a seed to live as a tree.. Empty your Cup..
Me too
That's what they want..please b gentle with yourself
So many variables.
Good is causing no harm.
An intent to cause harm is
evil/bad/wrong.
When observing psychological pathology, it is explained from a clinical perspective.
The religious perspective of good and evil, is not a moral authority.
Fascinating, once again Sam!
I wonder once humanity maps the brain by erasing childhood trauma we could reprogramme the narcissist back to a normal human being?
I wish Nietzsche is alive to watch this
Thanks Sam
Correction;
Professor Vaknin
I could never ignore you completely :)
Neither can I.
Yes.I don’t have perfect traits but Oh Yeah -it’s evil if it higher on the spectrum.
Unless maybe,they can rein the malignant or covert traits in (by knowing and understanding they have them in the first place) by choice.
We all choices…..
Love this perspective!!!
You truly are great!
Omg. This one hits home hard
Sam, you are the world. thank you
Thank you.
If a narcissist enjoys saying sadistic things does that label him a malignant narcissist or sadistic narcissist?
Not watching any part of your videos Sam would be a great loss so i wont risk it :D
Possibly evil is like seasoning on food. A little pinch makes life tasty. Too much ruins your food...
What does it mean that Forensic Files is my favorite show?
..depends on who you root for..
Why are they like split personality ?
groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/NARCISSISTIC-PERSONALITY-DISORDER/mxA7tQxS68U
Wow thank you! Very good ... 🙌🏻
Thank you
And though, Evil nevertheless
Physics + narcissism = superstring theory???
samvak.tripod.com/string01.html
i'm not even sure what *evil* means
would'nt it be grandiose for one to assume to know which actions are morally right or wrong?
if the antidote is nothingness, why should moral values still matter?
@@rustinholliday2252 Are you saying, without society, most people would resort to murder, rape, etc? If so, does that mean that we are naturally *evil*?
The Boredom Machine
Listen to the story of cain and able by Jordan Peterson
@@shinertaz Jordan Peterson says it so well.
@@shinertaz i'm afraid i don't get it 😅
Near the beginning, God created Evil...
Created evil? Or is evil?