Creating a Eunuch Only Empire in Crusader Kings 3

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  • Опубликовано: 22 янв 2025

Комментарии • 200

  • @AlzaboHD
    @AlzaboHD  4 месяца назад +31

    Create your own homeless Eunuch today! play.crusaderkings.com/Alzabo. This video is sponsored by Paradox Interactive.

    • @shinsenshogun900
      @shinsenshogun900 4 месяца назад +2

      Real cunning requires empty nether regions
      Adventures await for no manhoodless man

  • @neutral6854
    @neutral6854 4 месяца назад +397

    Carpathia B plot just happening in the background the entire time goes crazy

    • @Okamithegod
      @Okamithegod 3 месяца назад +3

      Right that is almost more interesting and I wish we could have had a video following that lol

  • @paraview8917
    @paraview8917 4 месяца назад +207

    -‘Screw you, man we’re gonna mutiny!‘
    -‘No balls’
    -shits himself

  • @AlzaboHD
    @AlzaboHD  4 месяца назад +308

    Protip: if you enable subtitles you can see the exact number of each castration as it happens. The more you know!

    • @FranciscoFerreira-te7um
      @FranciscoFerreira-te7um 3 месяца назад

      E meu maior desejo é ser castrado queria achar há castração pra mim ser castrado

  • @endgamevoid0707
    @endgamevoid0707 4 месяца назад +281

    Genuinely the most deranged video yet, although the ck2 horse empire and your og playthrough of mu’nis are runner ups

  • @Zelein
    @Zelein 4 месяца назад +116

    Paradox: "We want to sponsor you for our new DLC"
    Alzabo: "Excellent. I can't wait to castrate all my followers"
    Paradox: "What?"
    Alzabo: "What?"

  • @Old-ded-memes
    @Old-ded-memes 4 месяца назад +202

    “Behold! I am the chainsaw to your family trees!” -Munis

  • @kittydaddy2023
    @kittydaddy2023 4 месяца назад +153

    If there is a new nightmare in CK3, AlzaboHD will find it.

    • @Old-ded-memes
      @Old-ded-memes 4 месяца назад +5

      @@kittydaddy2023 This must be how pets felt when bob barker shows up

  • @thegoon1353
    @thegoon1353 4 месяца назад +48

    the way that one dude at the start is swinging his mace with a smile makes me think he's the designated eunuch "dismarmer"

  • @misticcrafter4766
    @misticcrafter4766 4 месяца назад +28

    Watching these videos unironically feels like being the audience to a new epic poem. Your wordplay is legendary, always flowing like water and as precious as satin.

  • @27Games23
    @27Games23 4 месяца назад +45

    This is what Alzabo responded with when someone says “no balls”

  • @SnapStrategy
    @SnapStrategy 4 месяца назад +77

    Should I be worried?? 👀 2:15

    • @jpanda79
      @jpanda79 3 месяца назад +4

      I immediately was worried for you.

  • @lukaswilhelm9290
    @lukaswilhelm9290 4 месяца назад +339

    Empire of no dongs

  • @ianspurrell4436
    @ianspurrell4436 4 месяца назад +76

    I am truly disturbed at how long Munis got away with that.... How did nobody in is court or a relative of those he kidnaped not kill him? Also, if only you could play as the leader of holy order. A bunch of balless battle monks might have been more effective in combat.

    • @platypipope328
      @platypipope328 4 месяца назад +7

      literally the unsullied

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  4 месяца назад +35

      They tried! But with high intrigue, bodyguards and max dread none inside the realm and few outside of it attempted. Mostly from Carpathia, funnily enough.

    • @ianspurrell4436
      @ianspurrell4436 3 месяца назад +1

      @@AlzaboHD I wonder if their odds were so low they COULDN'T or they DIDN'T?

    • @FranciscoFerreira-te7um
      @FranciscoFerreira-te7um 3 месяца назад

      ​@@AlzaboHDdesejo muito ser castrado pra virar eunuco

  • @trygveplaustrum4634
    @trygveplaustrum4634 4 месяца назад +34

    I quite appreciate the brief break in character at 16:31 as Alzabo couldn’t quite control his laughter!

  • @igorgs737
    @igorgs737 4 месяца назад +25

    Man, i hope they add munis as an adventurer some day (or as an historical character at least). I even sugested that in some of the dev diaries. The adventurer ability to adopt scream for a character like Munis.

  • @Redem10
    @Redem10 4 месяца назад +23

    Our eunuch seems to have a lot of money issues....then again his purse is empty

  • @dethmin173
    @dethmin173 4 месяца назад +24

    This honestly might be Alzabo's funniest video

  • @MikaelKKarlsson
    @MikaelKKarlsson 4 месяца назад +12

    That Bishop stud knew he was living on the edge.

  • @ybox1054
    @ybox1054 4 месяца назад +17

    this place is nuts!

  • @TheArklyte
    @TheArklyte 4 месяца назад +5

    That would have been a wild thing to read about in history books.

  • @Todesschleicher
    @Todesschleicher 3 месяца назад +3

    The dedications to putting so many alliterations and other wordplay into this video really took some balls

  • @J_Hodders
    @J_Hodders 4 месяца назад +5

    This is some of the most F'd up stuff and it was a fantastic pleasure! I was crying with laughter from start to finish and that must make this my favourite video you have produced to date! Seriously, thank you for the laughs and sterling content AlzaboHD

  • @Krumpet__
    @Krumpet__ 4 месяца назад +10

    Close enough, Welcome back Torgo Nudho and the Unsullied

  • @obsidian1453
    @obsidian1453 4 месяца назад +16

    The one eyed mercenary leader leading an army with no nation... sounds familiar...

    • @kobenithegoat
      @kobenithegoat 4 месяца назад +7

      the man who deballed the world

    • @kohlicoide2258
      @kohlicoide2258 4 месяца назад +4

      "I was always a Eunuch, Kaz."

    • @obamabiden
      @obamabiden 4 месяца назад +5

      my arm... my leg... even my balls... it's like they're all still there...

    • @FranciscoFerreira-te7um
      @FranciscoFerreira-te7um 3 месяца назад

      ​@@kohlicoide2258Q bom! Eu desejo tanto mim submeter há castração pra virar eunuco

  • @jayst
    @jayst 3 месяца назад +1

    LOL your subtitles are so awesome. I love so much when RUclips videos have good subtitles and even more when they have amazing subtitles

  • @Slime.
    @Slime. 4 месяца назад +6

    this is the best ck3 video I've ever watched

  • @PenguinWithInternetAccess
    @PenguinWithInternetAccess 3 месяца назад +1

    16:31 I wasn't expecting the minecraft villager hurt sound now i'm just dying from laughter

  • @trygveplaustrum4634
    @trygveplaustrum4634 4 месяца назад +38

    *His favorite weapon is a pair of bricks.*
    *Guess why.*

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  4 месяца назад +9

      why

    • @gijskramer1702
      @gijskramer1702 4 месяца назад +3

      Bricks are bad for your teeth

    • @trygveplaustrum4634
      @trygveplaustrum4634 4 месяца назад +8

      @@AlzaboHDWell, of course, his father was a mason. Certainly. No other reason!

    • @Kaz_9
      @Kaz_9 4 месяца назад +2

      @@AlzaboHD he's french and rioting is in his blood

  • @TVBenSifka
    @TVBenSifka 4 месяца назад +15

    How did your entire camp not murder you at any point lmao

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  4 месяца назад +10

      Good question!
      Fear and dread. Munis was sitting at maximum dread the entire campaign. There were still murder schemes of course, but they were normally outside the realm (eg counts in Carpathia).
      I wanted to include these in the video but it was already my longest (?) to date!

    • @auramaster2068
      @auramaster2068 3 месяца назад +7

      Nobody had the balls

  • @god0fperfection
    @god0fperfection 4 месяца назад +12

    Welcome Back!

  • @jpanda79
    @jpanda79 3 месяца назад +1

    I like how your boat just goes through the whole south of italy

  • @fordtwendy
    @fordtwendy 2 месяца назад

    A masterpiece in storytelling, all the aliterations were killing me. Great content!

  • @FacundoTroitero
    @FacundoTroitero 3 месяца назад +2

    This isn't gameplay, this is art

  • @dxftryuhjgft6986
    @dxftryuhjgft6986 4 месяца назад +3

    The goat has returned

  • @BrassAmbassador
    @BrassAmbassador 4 месяца назад +2

    You know, there was actually a sect of sorts running around Moscow in the XVII century who did just this: they were notorious for ambushing passerbys at night and castrating them.

  • @BiasNilBN
    @BiasNilBN 3 месяца назад

    Alzabo I haven’t watch your content for 1 year now due to life being busy but man your voice shock me ;-; total new

  • @arcane_luzion
    @arcane_luzion 4 месяца назад +8

    2:15 snap strategy easter egg 🎉

  • @AbelDuviant
    @AbelDuviant 3 месяца назад +1

    Absolutely terrifying campaign

  • @Xadaj127
    @Xadaj127 4 месяца назад +4

    Oh geez, the title in that thumbnail. We're in for something... *special.*

  • @fataliecatalie899
    @fataliecatalie899 3 месяца назад +1

    THE HUMAN MALE DEATH SOUND FROM WOW AT 3:50 SENT ME OMG

  • @bellalotario
    @bellalotario 3 месяца назад +2

    I lost it when Mu'nis tossed the sack in his hand

    • @bodo-bing
      @bodo-bing 3 месяца назад

      What a coincidence! So did his vassals!

  • @DreaOnzagle
    @DreaOnzagle 4 месяца назад +1

    Not the landless Mu’nis run we expected, but absolutely the one we needed

  • @aaronbartolini5455
    @aaronbartolini5455 4 месяца назад +3

    Your videos are always amazing

  • @idolsrule4678
    @idolsrule4678 4 месяца назад +9

    Bro made Wei Zhongxian

  • @pancakes9849
    @pancakes9849 3 месяца назад +1

    How do these not get more views

  • @TimMachtSachen
    @TimMachtSachen 3 месяца назад +1

    "blind him for good measure" killed me

  • @nerzha
    @nerzha 3 месяца назад

    I love these crazy CK3 videos. Where you make your own rules for how to play and then just go ham with it.

  • @AlbertAlbertB.
    @AlbertAlbertB. 4 месяца назад +5

    Εὔχομαι σε ὑγιαίνειν, great video as always

  • @shinsenshogun900
    @shinsenshogun900 4 месяца назад +1

    Varys and his Unsullied Legions of this cruel loveless world

  • @2icharlie
    @2icharlie 4 месяца назад +1

    Loved this so much, paused the video to actually go buy the dlc

  • @AngbangCorp
    @AngbangCorp 3 месяца назад +3

    Castrantinople I can't🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @LazlotheInstigator
    @LazlotheInstigator 4 месяца назад +6

    OMG this guy has a macro when he lands and he says “hello all I am here” and uh…
    Ring back vent harassment

  • @PenguinWithInternetAccess
    @PenguinWithInternetAccess 3 месяца назад +1

    35:22 "Your lineage has come to an end" I think it was ended a long time ago tho 💀

  • @wiel5908
    @wiel5908 4 месяца назад +3

    its always a Munis

  • @ondrej_hrdina
    @ondrej_hrdina Месяц назад

    This is poetry. The Epic of Castramesh.

  • @nattiedraws
    @nattiedraws 4 месяца назад +3

    I do wonder how long you had this idea on the chopping block. It sure took some balls to go through with this nation

  • @projimbo
    @projimbo 29 дней назад

    Brilliant. Laughed the entire way through. An interesting challenge is to bring a nobody adventurer from southern west africa to spread his culture and religion in central Europe.

  • @TheMataphysical
    @TheMataphysical 3 месяца назад

    This may be your greatest work.

  • @CatNibbles
    @CatNibbles 4 месяца назад

    im impressed by the amount of rhyming puns in this one, well done!

  • @gaspardfrileux1816
    @gaspardfrileux1816 4 месяца назад +2

    House bolton gameplay

  • @kingofravens215
    @kingofravens215 4 месяца назад +1

    This feels like a Greek tragedy honestly

  • @iptf
    @iptf 4 месяца назад +6

    I don't know how you come up with a half hour of rhymes for this. How many synonyms for ball removal.are there?

  • @bodo-bing
    @bodo-bing 3 месяца назад

    The impact this man would have had on this timeline is baffling - a warlord leading a distinctively dressed eunuch army just comes and conquers Sardinia to use as a forward base for castrating the crowned heads of Europe because of some ill-defined mission from a God most Europeans abandoned.
    Historians left scratching their heads, parents using him to scare their children straight, poets all over singing the ballad of the Phrygian Eunuch (in soprano of course)

  • @kgptzac
    @kgptzac 4 месяца назад +6

    honest question: how many times did you get murdered in the production of this video from all the enemies you've made? 😅

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  4 месяца назад +3

      Not once!
      I had a high intrigue spymaster the entire time and capped dread, so no one dared to do it in my court (because I would execute them).
      Counts outside the realm did try several times, mostly from Carpathia, but my bodyguards and high intrigue prevented their success.

  • @mrfarlander
    @mrfarlander 3 месяца назад

    Thank you im going to try this with my family tomorrow ❤

  • @Siltarius
    @Siltarius 4 месяца назад +1

    "Nuts!"

  • @purpledevilr7463
    @purpledevilr7463 4 месяца назад +8

    Should’ve been Chinese. The bureaucrats take power.

  • @kadmon326
    @kadmon326 4 месяца назад +2

    Is this what Davos meant when he talked to Greyworm in season 8?

  • @patleaf2432
    @patleaf2432 4 месяца назад

    Really funny, I watched the whole damn video. Good stuff!

  • @kaijudirector5336
    @kaijudirector5336 3 месяца назад +1

    Can we get a blind empire play through next?

  • @ishabooo
    @ishabooo 4 месяца назад

    YES. Thank you.

  • @AndrewTheMandrew531
    @AndrewTheMandrew531 2 месяца назад

    If you could create more scenarios within the Thunderdome, I’d really love it.

  • @duphasdan
    @duphasdan 4 месяца назад

    31:02 That was just too far. I feel for the man.

  • @MatthewZzzz0
    @MatthewZzzz0 4 месяца назад +1

    Boss is a reel ball buster

  • @kucimaka8092
    @kucimaka8092 3 месяца назад

    KRAKOW POWER IS NEXT!
    LETS GOOOOOOOOOO

  • @carltonleboss
    @carltonleboss 4 месяца назад

    What a crazy campaign.

  • @harisafridi8689
    @harisafridi8689 3 месяца назад

    So underrated!

  • @DrWatchHD
    @DrWatchHD 4 месяца назад +1

    Well, you can try to destroy all other dynasties by castration of everyone except your dynasty.
    Or even play as a woman, to secure the purity of dynasty.

  • @mirjanbouma
    @mirjanbouma 4 месяца назад +1

    Thats a lot of meatballs.

  • @Eykoo-b3h
    @Eykoo-b3h 4 месяца назад

    The king is back

  • @TheGrinningViking
    @TheGrinningViking 3 месяца назад

    This is less nuts than I thought it would be.
    0/2

  • @tweetert.9978
    @tweetert.9978 3 месяца назад +1

    Un'ball'eviably lmao

  • @bentencho
    @bentencho Месяц назад

    Be ironic if the Nikarete that owns the inn is also one of Munis' former followers.

  • @RainBrain26
    @RainBrain26 4 месяца назад

    Alzabo really said 'f it, we (de-)ball'

  • @jerome1506
    @jerome1506 4 месяца назад

    oh my god the king is back

  • @kevinrosas7436
    @kevinrosas7436 3 месяца назад

    A true Wordsmith!

  • @Hugo_Mendez
    @Hugo_Mendez 3 месяца назад

    Nocockia had no sea men but tons eunuchs

  • @MrTrentington
    @MrTrentington 3 месяца назад +1

    The they/them-archy

  • @helenetrstrup4817
    @helenetrstrup4817 Месяц назад

    All roads leads to Rome.... But we'll take the ferry. 🤣

  • @seno9771
    @seno9771 4 месяца назад +1

    Snip Strategy😂 is that a Snap Strategy reference??

  • @TravisKastl-ui9mk
    @TravisKastl-ui9mk 3 месяца назад

    Honestly I think they need to dial way back how much the nobles castrate their sons.

  • @person3275
    @person3275 4 месяца назад

    I love this guy

  • @sarahlynn7807
    @sarahlynn7807 4 месяца назад +2

    Orchiectomied 12 people to this video. 23 balls.

    • @trygveplaustrum4634
      @trygveplaustrum4634 4 месяца назад

      …Which fellow has only one ball?

    • @sarahlynn7807
      @sarahlynn7807 4 месяца назад

      @@trygveplaustrum4634 Austrian feller, lost it in the war. He's been talking crazy since failing to get into art school, but he's a nice fem boy now and turned away from the alt right.

  • @k.katona9415
    @k.katona9415 2 месяца назад

    It only took 5 minutes of the video for me to start fearing for my non-existent nuts, good job!

  • @blktauna
    @blktauna 4 месяца назад +2

    By Azura... lol How do you even come up with this stuff?

  • @richardalex4516
    @richardalex4516 4 месяца назад

    Castrantinople lives!

  • @cookudysu90
    @cookudysu90 3 месяца назад

    An Empire of no Balls

  • @lucasportasio
    @lucasportasio 4 месяца назад

    this was deranged, i loved it!

  • @unitor699industries
    @unitor699industries 3 месяца назад

    any guide how to create sultanate of rum