Eunuch to Emperor: The Most Impossible Start in CK3

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  • Опубликовано: 30 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 290

  • @AlzaboHD
    @AlzaboHD  2 года назад +87

    The first 1,000 people to use this link will get a 1 month free trial of Skillshare: skl.sh/alzabohd03221 Thanks to Skillshare for sponsoring today's video!

    • @aclaymushroomwithaberet7084
      @aclaymushroomwithaberet7084 2 года назад +1

      Hey, can you attain the mandate of heaven in china as Yemen Socotra, I would love that! I Haven't been in this channel for a year so I'm exited that you have more videos

    • @RATSKETCHES
      @RATSKETCHES Год назад

      Make the eunuch symbol a Mars symbol burning in hell.

  • @diegowushu
    @diegowushu 2 года назад +902

    What a madlad. I've been avoiding trying for the "Mother of us all" archivement because it seems like a chore, but the things this person puts himself thru is shaming me to do it.

    • @AlbertAlbertB.
      @AlbertAlbertB. 2 года назад +15

      That achievement took me 3 months.

    • @TheForeignGamer
      @TheForeignGamer 2 года назад +25

      Honestly, it wasn't that bad. Aside from the false start I had when Daurama randomly died very young, I was able to get the achievement on my first attempt. Granted, I did it pre-Royal Court so I'm not sure if it's any easier or harder now, but as long as you keep expanding and reasonably managing your realm, it shouldn't be too much of an issue.
      The biggest challenges you'll face are the Muslim nations in North Africa and Iberia, and potentially Byzantium if they start expanding onto the continent. But those are the countries you save for last, after you've already consolidated your power everywhere else and conquered your weaker neighbors. Once you have Africa itself secured, it then simply becomes a waiting game as you convert en masse. Mendicant Preachers is an OP tenet to have when you reform the religion, so I recommend that at the very least.

    • @warlordofbritannia
      @warlordofbritannia 2 года назад +5

      @@AlbertAlbertB.
      Wait, in-game or in real life? 😂

    • @TheRyanRubi
      @TheRyanRubi 2 года назад +3

      It may take a few restarts, but once you get going, it’s pretty straightforward.

    • @lenkalenech3102
      @lenkalenech3102 2 года назад +1

      Betray your husband's son

  • @DavidePas
    @DavidePas 2 года назад +623

    Alzabo subscribers: How many rhymes should we expect in this video?
    AlzaboHD: YES

  • @cow1816
    @cow1816 2 года назад +611

    We don't deserve this many rhymes.
    I actually do wonder which part takes longer, filming gameplay or writing the script?

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  2 года назад +213

      Haha for this one certainly the gameplay! It took four attempts to get the RNG event - talk about a shlep! Thanks for watching.

    • @TheRightTastes
      @TheRightTastes 2 года назад +3

      @@AlzaboHD I think a good way to increase chances might be getting the ability to have 2 schemes and kidnapper, so while commiting the murders you could also find and kidnap lowborn people with good traits and start a robust breeding program mass culling parents of good children. Further bonus you also have a sizable population of potential vassels who would be good at there jobs

  • @miguelpadeiro762
    @miguelpadeiro762 2 года назад +360

    Here I was thinking reboots always end up bad, but you my good sir have proved me wrong

  • @jonwalker9587
    @jonwalker9587 2 года назад +144

    I'm glad adoption is in the game now as an option for situations like this. It happened historically, (though usually it was more like uncles adopting nephews rather than commoners) and for a desperate infertile king or emperor with no family, doesn't it just make sense?
    I remember reading CK2 forum threads full of people vehemently against adding an adoption mechanic.

    • @partydean17
      @partydean17 2 года назад +18

      I think it's good it is not too easy to do because a lot of the game is properly siring offspring for stats. But random events is a great way of getting through it I'd say

    • @theta_clips
      @theta_clips 2 года назад +19

      To be fair, the greatest prosperity the Romans experienced was under a nearly entirely adoptive line (Nerva-Antonine) save for Trajan and Hadrian being distant cousins, and Commodus being Marcus Aurelius' son - though we can see how that turned out. The phrase "Great men rarely raise great sons" rings true historically, which is why I guess adoption wasn't really frowned upon.

  • @thejadondaviscommentaries1613
    @thejadondaviscommentaries1613 2 года назад +244

    You should have named Neo-Bactria along the Indus the realm of Yavanas in the style of the Greco-Indo kings of yester year, who were named by their Indian subjects as the Greatest of the Ionians

  • @Kai_Squared
    @Kai_Squared 2 года назад +316

    I got an event where 2 vassals argue who between them could marry a girl and my Munis married her. She was lustful and when I was nearly dead she finally gave me an heir after a few daughters.

    • @steadyjumper3547
      @steadyjumper3547 2 года назад +163

      They were definitely your kids

    • @warlordofbritannia
      @warlordofbritannia 2 года назад +99

      Immaculate conception, obv

    • @alexanderzippel8809
      @alexanderzippel8809 2 года назад +28

      I once was an 80 year old dude. And within 3 years all of my heirs besides the 3 year old girl died….

  • @Madiannereid
    @Madiannereid 2 года назад +156

    I didn’t think I’d ever be publicly commenting this, but the majority of eunuchs can still, uh, get it up, they just can’t have children. Historically it wasn’t full castration.

    • @pcu9284
      @pcu9284 2 года назад +24

      Unless if you were Chinese

    • @S.Solmazturk
      @S.Solmazturk 2 года назад +32

      It was usually crushing the balls only. Some of the eunuchs actually healed completely and had children.

    • @Madiannereid
      @Madiannereid 2 года назад +42

      @@S.Solmazturk I think how they did it depended upon the historical context and reason for castration. Some was punishment, some was for ensuring guards couldn’t impregnate royal women, some was for ‘artistic’ reasons (like singing), etc.

    • @valentinmitterbauer4196
      @valentinmitterbauer4196 2 года назад +25

      It also depends on castrating boys before or after puberty. To recieve singers with powerful, but also high pitched voices europeans used to cut them before puberty, if i am not mistaken those boys would also seldom develop a libido. If you wanted a lust- servant however, you would wait until after puberty, as those eunuchs still experience libido.

    • @texasarbiter8454
      @texasarbiter8454 2 года назад +3

      Depends on the region/type of enuch. Some just lost their testicles others lost everything

  • @xaryous3530
    @xaryous3530 2 года назад +50

    You asked us at the end for someone else to try it, so I did. (Well you didn’t, but said it was really hard so I took it as a challenge) Here is the little story of my game as Mu’nis.
    I started off with a Stewardship character who was Forgiving, Sadistic, and something else, Arrogant I believe. I started off going around capturing territory all over the place, getting the duchy of Bazin and some random island near Yemen that also was a duchy. I then went to capture Cyprus. (the Byzantine part had been captured by the Caliph earlier while the Romans were in France dealing with Vikings) After gathering together the land I declared independence from my liege, establishing myself as Emir of Bazin. I then sat there for a while, lost the island in Yemen to my previous liege because I defended us during the Crusade and lost my army while he sat there and watched. But I still had two duchies, so I make the Kingdom of Cyprus regardless. I then sat there trying to desperately get some lowborn child to be born for me to orphan. It took 7 years in game for ONE child to be born, and they were female. So I had to wait longer and longer until Mu’nis was about 71 when a male courtier was born. I then offed his parents, but got the event that I would be dead in a year. The court could only be held in half a year from then. And when it finally happened. It was a fucking female. It rolled a random lowborn orphan from one of my vassals. (I gave away some tribal territories) This orphan girl was also delicate, meanwhile her orphan brother was Herculean (no I am not joking) and the other boy was quick. I screamed for a bit, then something clicked. Religion. I can switch to another religion to make them eligible as an heir. But I was about 500 piety short. So I went on a pilgrimage, and hoped. I got an event that gave me 100 piety and was still alive at the end of the pilgrimage. I then switched to some religion I dunno the name of. And my heir was set. Mu’nis then proceeded to die two days later. This took about 6 attempts, and I’d ballpark it at 16 hours of work. Sorry for ranting.
    Tl:dr Takes absolutely forever to get event, gives female character to be heir, switches religion to make her eligible two days before death.

  • @FACM.
    @FACM. 2 года назад +129

    A Greco-Bactrian revival sounds very fun to do... This video gave me a new idea for a new challenge in CK3

    • @CanonOverseer
      @CanonOverseer 2 года назад +1

      Makes me want to make a mod including titles and decisions for it lol

    • @reuben7705
      @reuben7705 2 года назад +1

      I may have to do this too, its one of my favourite areas of history

  • @JohnDoe-zu2tz
    @JohnDoe-zu2tz 2 года назад +88

    How does a heterosexual eunuch enjoy a brothel? Three little words, my friends.
    MEN
    GETTING
    PEGGED

    • @sylviethetg7598
      @sylviethetg7598 2 года назад +15

      You wanna get pegged don't you John

    • @partydean17
      @partydean17 2 года назад +15

      Lol also castration Can be synonymous with neutering, so he may just shoot blanks

  • @TY-km8hj
    @TY-km8hj 2 года назад +29

    Came for ck3 and alzabohd but i stayed for the bars he be dropping

  • @DonFlufflesPrime
    @DonFlufflesPrime 2 года назад +53

    Ahhh, back for another video of Alzabo being the biggest masochist known to man by doing insane CK3 challenges. Never change, Alzabo, never change.

  • @tesstickle6974
    @tesstickle6974 2 года назад +86

    I feel like i say this every single episode but you Sir are a magnificent poet

  • @MR-cx1mg
    @MR-cx1mg 2 года назад +30

    Perfection as always. Here's a CK3 challenge for you: Make a hybrid culture of the two cultures with the greatest distance between them on the map.

  • @scheefgaan
    @scheefgaan 2 года назад +22

    Hey Alzabo, i dare you to do a challenge i'm currently doing. from a random empire in Siberia (Or Siberia itself). And make attempt to make it the most well developed, most prosperous land in all of the old world.

  • @Harl3inger
    @Harl3inger 2 года назад +45

    I was wondering how you would pull with off without the power of Satan, but I'm greatly pleased by your work as always

  • @lordhelmchen3154
    @lordhelmchen3154 2 года назад +13

    Wow, the alliteration and rhyme game was the best thing I saw today, well done sir! :D

  • @steadyjumper3547
    @steadyjumper3547 2 года назад +9

    “Thy nut is cut”
    That’s a powerful spell

  • @donpollo3154
    @donpollo3154 2 года назад +44

    Well, I was gonna say that you needed real balls to play this campaign but I don't think that's an accurate summary

    • @RATSKETCHES
      @RATSKETCHES Год назад

      Eunuch=✂️🥜= No Maidens.

  • @crazeelazee7524
    @crazeelazee7524 2 года назад +14

    Fun fact: Munis is slang for vagina in Greek. And based on the fact that in this playthrough Munis was a regular at the brothel, you could say he really was what he ate ;)

  • @cryohellinc
    @cryohellinc 2 года назад +8

    The amount of puns in this one.... Holy shit

  • @tompusslicker6312
    @tompusslicker6312 2 года назад +3

    I am always impressed with Alzabo's ability to rhyme words.

  • @asgerthorndalkofod2366
    @asgerthorndalkofod2366 2 года назад +7

    Been thinking of a challenge where you attempt to create slavia by taking the Unite the west slavs, unite the east slavs, and then unite the slavs decisions. Whilst doing this you also take the Defenders of Dievas, Defenders of Rod and Defenders of Ukko decisions to create a grand holy slavic pagan empire.

  • @pcu9284
    @pcu9284 2 года назад +9

    Like the video, I liked the story of Alderic, and orphaned Frenchman taken in by the strongest man in india, tho the pause after "eunuchs like clapping cheeks" was something else

  • @rwolfheart6580
    @rwolfheart6580 2 года назад +4

    I wish adoption was a proper decision you could take as an infertile ruler. Like if a sibling died you could adopt their kids, or you could trigger the game to spawn a lowborn orphan instead of waiting for the RNG to give you one. It would make same-sex marriage a lot more viable, among other things.

    • @CatchTheMarmosets
      @CatchTheMarmosets 2 года назад +5

      Same sex marriage in 867? Good luck with that

    • @arvedpittner9782
      @arvedpittner9782 3 месяца назад

      @@CatchTheMarmosets Well there is an Eunuch, Bactic Greek Emperor of the Gayostrastian Faith in former Persia/India lol... Same sex MArriage is REALLY tame compared to that! Several Rulers historically all but practiced it in certain cultures and with CK3 giving you the option to reform the most ridiculous faiths and cultures its utterly stupid that it would fail in the department of "the game mechanics make getting a non-biological Heir all but impossible" But thats also a fun idea... Start off in Siberia, form a hybrid culture and religion that legalizes or enforces gay marriage, then or while doing it form an Empire and fight off the Mongol invasion while with each new Ruler going through this fucked up game of breeding and murdering Commoners into triggering the Event lol.

  • @Uzair_Of_Babylon465
    @Uzair_Of_Babylon465 2 года назад +39

    Fantastic video keep it up your doing amazing job

  • @henrimosser4608
    @henrimosser4608 2 года назад +9

    Impressive, really impressive. I didnt know much about the intrigue focus tree, but with your playthrough I learned alot about its benefits !

  • @G3florentino
    @G3florentino 2 года назад +2

    I support the youtube algorithm by sayind this crusader kings video (CK3 for short) was great, cool and helpful to watch.

  • @gangstergastino4094
    @gangstergastino4094 2 года назад +2

    The hard start and all the absurd ideas are the best combined with your perfect narration.

  • @richlondonrich
    @richlondonrich 2 года назад +10

    Rhyming is like salt.
    Add too much and it's your fault.

  • @kamo808
    @kamo808 2 года назад +4

    Really happy that i found your channel, you create great videos.

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  2 года назад

      Thanks for the support Kamo!

  • @uoliveira7
    @uoliveira7 2 года назад +3

    ZEUSROASTRIANISM
    My God, i'm dying 🤣🤣🤣

  • @JohnSmith-kb4re
    @JohnSmith-kb4re 2 года назад +1

    And now I gotta rewatch the masterpiece that is the CK2 version of this challenge

  • @BlueViper8907
    @BlueViper8907 2 года назад +1

    Oh my god I've been waiting for this since the CK2 version!

  • @John-kd2tc
    @John-kd2tc 2 года назад +3

    This was a playthrough I had in mind ever since I found out I could get heirs like this.

  • @dogmiertwitchtv2325
    @dogmiertwitchtv2325 2 года назад +1

    Brooo these rhymes were so good, keep up the good work!

  • @molybdaen11
    @molybdaen11 2 года назад +5

    I never knew that you can adopt children.
    Yes i got the "care for the child" event, but the parents were still alive.

  • @TheCALibratedChaos
    @TheCALibratedChaos Год назад +1

    I belive Romans have Adoption tenants that put the childnin your house. I dont remember the requirements to have it as a tenant but also super hard to accomplish in one life

  • @deadaccount4221
    @deadaccount4221 2 года назад +4

    AlzaboHD has the Poet trait

  • @partydean17
    @partydean17 2 года назад +4

    Can someone explain what all those murders did at the beginning? Do they just destabilize so you can form a faction with more fellow vassals to join in?

  • @ashlingunderson8285
    @ashlingunderson8285 3 дня назад

    I love how STRONG each "Aldèric" is

  • @dotiworldwide
    @dotiworldwide 2 года назад +2

    questions about the technical execution? only if you lack imagination. he got pegged babes.

  • @darem4843
    @darem4843 2 года назад +2

    Can't believe I completely watched the video

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  2 года назад +2

      Thank you for your service!

  • @jonathanskinner7647
    @jonathanskinner7647 2 года назад +4

    Man actually has 70 videos queued up but is just trying to come up with rhymes for them

  • @aidanfelker3636
    @aidanfelker3636 2 года назад +1

    god i love this channel so much

  • @robjohnson3095
    @robjohnson3095 2 года назад +6

    Was this harder than the CK2 Eunuch run?

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  2 года назад +10

      Most definitely - this requires RNG and in CK2 I (think?) its RNGless and just requires joining the satanic cult. Both are very fun though

  • @noctusfury6918
    @noctusfury6918 Год назад

    Your rhymes and puns are the best. Best part of your videos. Then, of course, there's your audacious challenges that few people would try. Great work! I don't understand why adoption isn't much of an option in CK. It should be.

  • @TheStroudCompound
    @TheStroudCompound 2 года назад

    I like all the low key game of thrones references "Fire&Blood"

  • @tradracemixer3237
    @tradracemixer3237 2 года назад

    I always love the rhymes you put in

  • @waleedkhalid7486
    @waleedkhalid7486 2 года назад +1

    I legitimately wondered about adoption in ck3 and why it wasn’t a decision the player could make in specific circumstances. I get that it could be abused by being able to get tons of kids easily, but at the same time it would make sense from a RP perspective.

  • @laszlobandi6456
    @laszlobandi6456 Год назад

    I know this is long ago.
    now in the new dlc, the hunts are more complex, although I can't even reach a lot of them in time. so I guess it's good to have many vassals near you then take a new land somewhere else. there is a new event where you find a wild boy (feral, +10 prowess which he loses later) also dull -2 to all and not sure if it's any variety but a medium prowess from the trait. you can then adopt him or just take into court or release.
    did a run with Haestein in Cagliari. Did the same before the update hit and had to abandon it because the changes ruined a few things. one change to Cagliari is that Iglesias is a new castle which holds the mine and at succession you always lose it, so better off moving the capital into the secondary castle (revoking is fine but reversely is better)

  • @Gh0st652
    @Gh0st652 2 года назад +1

    I love your channel the alliteration makes me feel like I'm in a fever dream

  • @VonPlanter
    @VonPlanter 2 года назад +5

    Nice video

  • @sicksock435446
    @sicksock435446 2 года назад +1

    Sackless society in Ck3? Now I've seen everything.

  • @naffiethenaff
    @naffiethenaff 2 года назад +1

    I think we need either a reformed seleukelids or a reformed ptolemaic egypt if you are up for some more greek conquests

  • @joeywild2011
    @joeywild2011 2 года назад +1

    Hi Alzabo. Your voice is nothing short of enchanting! I was wondering where you were from? You seem to be genuinely good at different accents so I can’t figure out where you’re actually from!

  • @BetweenSunAndMoon
    @BetweenSunAndMoon 2 года назад +1

    And he didn't even have to sell his soul to the devil. Well done.

  • @TweEkc
    @TweEkc 2 года назад

    These rhyming videos make me feel like I'm watching a Xavier renegade angel episode

  • @Morgenseier
    @Morgenseier 2 года назад +1

    You're insane.
    - I love your nut-ty content! You rock!

  • @ComradesChoice
    @ComradesChoice 2 года назад +3

    First time watching you and holy shit, do you rhyme every single freaking sentence?

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  2 года назад +1

      Please send help!

    • @ComradesChoice
      @ComradesChoice 2 года назад +1

      @@AlzaboHD Nah man, you need to start writing poems or something.

  • @jlinn543
    @jlinn543 2 года назад +3

    Eunich to Eire would have been a good challenge

  • @willfreakman86
    @willfreakman86 2 года назад +2

    SLAPPING CHEEKS AND SLAYIN CALIPHS

  • @jean-charleschabrol390
    @jean-charleschabrol390 2 года назад

    Your videos are always a treat

  • @pedrotbird5426
    @pedrotbird5426 2 года назад +1

    I can't put my finger on why, but these videos are amazing

  • @opheliamoonrose4316
    @opheliamoonrose4316 2 года назад +1

    Emir Mu'nis making a comeback once again!

  • @RomedyComedy
    @RomedyComedy 2 года назад +6

    I love your videos so much

  • @samwill7259
    @samwill7259 2 года назад +2

    Man, this video is NUTS.
    No, I'm not sorry.

  • @sweetrios
    @sweetrios 2 года назад +1

    Not enough camel jokes

  • @sidneysill8495
    @sidneysill8495 Год назад

    Love the videos. Love the narration. Great stuff.
    My only question, WTF is a "Shike"? 😄

  • @sancheta
    @sancheta 2 года назад

    These rhymes are sooo satisfying

  • @OGDeepStroke
    @OGDeepStroke 2 года назад +1

    ApolloMazda. Praise the Sun.

  • @al-ashrafqansuhal-ghurifan5689
    @al-ashrafqansuhal-ghurifan5689 2 года назад

    Dude like it's only been several minutes into this video but the puns killed me lmfao

  • @coper2098
    @coper2098 2 года назад

    been forgetting to comment sorry 🙏 still nothing but the absolute best from alzabo i keep rewatching your videos (even more so now that i suck much less at eu 4)

  • @timp2304
    @timp2304 2 года назад

    I really enjoy your commentary rhymes

  • @thedoge4866
    @thedoge4866 2 года назад

    Thanks, didn't even know adoption was a thing until I saw this 👍

  • @viktorkhan8518
    @viktorkhan8518 Год назад

    Wow, this guy has some balls!

  • @reallyFrogman
    @reallyFrogman Год назад

    This would be even easier now since you can adopt children with Wards & Wardens.

  • @Prophitman8
    @Prophitman8 Год назад

    there were doubts for its technical execution LMAO

  • @VampireBabysitter
    @VampireBabysitter 2 года назад

    I know this is a lot to ask, but I think it would be really cool if you did a mega campaign. I just really like the way you narrate everything

  • @DiamondDust132
    @DiamondDust132 2 года назад

    Another absolute banger.

  • @Zehamas
    @Zehamas 2 года назад

    Damn that ryhming 10/10 would sub again.

  • @mohammedishaq5451
    @mohammedishaq5451 2 года назад

    another epic banger by alzabo

  • @samwisegamgee8318
    @samwisegamgee8318 2 года назад

    Anyone else here remember the good old days when this channel was 100% civ V battle royals?

  • @MXLMNE
    @MXLMNE 2 года назад

    2:48… *presses subscribe* LMAO

  • @matthewhall9692
    @matthewhall9692 2 года назад

    What's up with this guy saying piety like PEE-uh-tee instead of PAI-uh-tee in every video... I just cannot cope.

  • @punishedwhirligig3353
    @punishedwhirligig3353 2 года назад

    Zeusroastrianism: The religion centered around Zeus calling you out on that yee yee ass haircut

  • @dimensionshulk9963
    @dimensionshulk9963 2 года назад +4

    Isn't there items that boost fertility in the royal Court DLC?

    • @AlzaboHD
      @AlzaboHD  2 года назад +5

      Not sure, all I got was a chastity belt lol

    • @marcuswillbrandt5901
      @marcuswillbrandt5901 2 года назад +2

      Isn't eunuch -1000%? You would need more artifacts than you could possibly equip

    • @mirjanbouma
      @mirjanbouma 2 года назад

      @@marcuswillbrandt5901 that's CK2. The video shows that ck3 has a fertility modifier of -100% for castrates. Wether that's also the number the code uses, I do not know.

  • @IMadeAnEntireSpeciesForWhat
    @IMadeAnEntireSpeciesForWhat 2 года назад

    you write poetry in these videos

  • @egyptianboi305
    @egyptianboi305 2 года назад

    I like how you rhyme your words like a loosely made poetry.

  • @Nyal41
    @Nyal41 2 года назад

    Wow this was a masterpiece

  • @gordyrroy
    @gordyrroy 10 месяцев назад

    I think you could adopt someone :y like, just clicking on a boy in the character search bar. The adoption feature is a thing, but I dont know since when.

  • @whiterunguard9084
    @whiterunguard9084 2 года назад +1

    God I am addicted to ck3

  • @Eisenwulf666
    @Eisenwulf666 2 года назад

    Cool vid bro

  • @lenkalenech3102
    @lenkalenech3102 2 года назад +1

    Can't you adopt with the Solomon two mother's dilemma court event where u can adopt the child

  • @grecoturkish3785
    @grecoturkish3785 2 года назад

    Intrigue run is indeed the strongest playstyle

  • @lujoviste
    @lujoviste 2 года назад

    This man spits fire rhymes

  • @pastorkahn1520
    @pastorkahn1520 2 года назад

    I appreciate the rhymes

  • @RATSKETCHES
    @RATSKETCHES Год назад

    Not my Nuts is a more appropriate motto for a eunuch!