Alright, here's what happened, and I'm not going to sugarcoat anything here. In November of last year, I had started feeling some pretty severe side effects of what was a collection of food sensitivities. I already knew that I couldn't eat gluten, but I didn't know that I also couldn't eat a handful of other things without feeling terrible. I was always nauseous, had to poop all the time, and felt generally lethargic. This made it so that it was tough to want to go to classes at my college, because my weak stomach overpowered every other aspect of my life, and I ended up dropping out of my classes at the end of the year. That Christmas, I went back to spend the holiday with my family, where my mother strongly advised against going back to college. I went back anyway in the spring, re-negotiated my student loans, and was set with some "easy" classes to round out my third year's worth of credits. However, without fixing my diet and generally sedentary lifestyle, I fell back into the same loop again and fully deteriorated after the Palworld video in February. I started to see myself as a complete failure and slowly started severing communications with everyone I knew because I couldn't live with the knowledge that they knew I hadn't finished my degree. Overwhelmed with feelings of immense frustration and general lethargy, I eventually resolved to take my own life on April 1st - because, haha, April Fool's Day, I'm a complete fucking joke. However, towards the end of March I got a text message from a good friend of mine who said he was visiting family in Canada and wanted to drive by and hang out on his way home. And I thought "if I'm dead, I can't be a good host." The visit was much needed and it pulled me out of rock bottom, being able to simply talk with someone I've known my whole life about nothing was a great distraction. It didnt help everything, but I was no longer deadset on suicide so that was good. My non-contact with family continued into April, to the point where my mom drove 9 hours to see what the hell was going on because I was genuinely worrying everyone, especislly her. During that visit, she offered to let me stay with her and my dad over the summer so that we could get to the bottom of my mental health lapse and these stomach problems I was having. And so, that's what I did. I spent the duration of June and July working through these baseline things, and can confidently say that the break was both healing and productive. I moved closer to friends and family, and have put college on the back burner until I figure everything out, so i hope you understand why I was gone for so long. Thats all for now. Thanks for reading. - Kai
Wow man...that's a lot to unpack. Just want to let you know that you're really awesome and worthy of love. No one is harder to us than ourselves. If you ever need to get out of your own head and just talk about things I'm always available. Even if it's just to small chat about Gluten free diets which I'm also following.
Navigating feelings of failure on top of health issues can be incredibly overwhelming. I'm so happy you are doing better. Bella (our kitty LOR co-caster) and I are sending love your way!
13:00 hi! thank you for answering thats interesting 24:53 hi! i believe that with discipline and persistence you will be able to get there ^^ shoutouts to the gays
the implication i choose to interpret here is that Kai sits perfectly still at all times and does not move at all unless it is succeeded by an update video
Alright, here's what happened, and I'm not going to sugarcoat anything here.
In November of last year, I had started feeling some pretty severe side effects of what was a collection of food sensitivities. I already knew that I couldn't eat gluten, but I didn't know that I also couldn't eat a handful of other things without feeling terrible. I was always nauseous, had to poop all the time, and felt generally lethargic. This made it so that it was tough to want to go to classes at my college, because my weak stomach overpowered every other aspect of my life, and I ended up dropping out of my classes at the end of the year.
That Christmas, I went back to spend the holiday with my family, where my mother strongly advised against going back to college. I went back anyway in the spring, re-negotiated my student loans, and was set with some "easy" classes to round out my third year's worth of credits.
However, without fixing my diet and generally sedentary lifestyle, I fell back into the same loop again and fully deteriorated after the Palworld video in February. I started to see myself as a complete failure and slowly started severing communications with everyone I knew because I couldn't live with the knowledge that they knew I hadn't finished my degree. Overwhelmed with feelings of immense frustration and general lethargy, I eventually resolved to take my own life on April 1st - because, haha, April Fool's Day, I'm a complete fucking joke. However, towards the end of March I got a text message from a good friend of mine who said he was visiting family in Canada and wanted to drive by and hang out on his way home. And I thought "if I'm dead, I can't be a good host."
The visit was much needed and it pulled me out of rock bottom, being able to simply talk with someone I've known my whole life about nothing was a great distraction. It didnt help everything, but I was no longer deadset on suicide so that was good.
My non-contact with family continued into April, to the point where my mom drove 9 hours to see what the hell was going on because I was genuinely worrying everyone, especislly her. During that visit, she offered to let me stay with her and my dad over the summer so that we could get to the bottom of my mental health lapse and these stomach problems I was having.
And so, that's what I did. I spent the duration of June and July working through these baseline things, and can confidently say that the break was both healing and productive. I moved closer to friends and family, and have put college on the back burner until I figure everything out, so i hope you understand why I was gone for so long.
Thats all for now. Thanks for reading.
- Kai
Wow man...that's a lot to unpack. Just want to let you know that you're really awesome and worthy of love. No one is harder to us than ourselves. If you ever need to get out of your own head and just talk about things I'm always available. Even if it's just to small chat about Gluten free diets which I'm also following.
Navigating feelings of failure on top of health issues can be incredibly overwhelming. I'm so happy you are doing better. Bella (our kitty LOR co-caster) and I are sending love your way!
13:00 hi! thank you for answering thats interesting
24:53 hi! i believe that with discipline and persistence you will be able to get there ^^
shoutouts to the gays
ay hope everything goes well in new place
thanks for the short shout out tho
the implication i choose to interpret here is that Kai sits perfectly still at all times and does not move at all unless it is succeeded by an update video
What you don't see are the shackles around my ankles, they just change the background on me every few months.
When I asked how many lines, i meant coke
Was my response not accurate?
@@SojournerKai never said it wasn't
I’m sad my question didn’t make it 😭
Sorry! I recorded this a couple of weeks ago and only just now finished editing it ^^ I'll go respond to it in the form of a comment though.
@@SojournerKai no worries! Life stuff comes first and is always more important. Can’t wait for more essays/videos in general!
Kinda funny how your "last video" video's now over a year old eh? Congrats on them 3, nearly 4 subs even Kai :>
Thank you! If we reach 5 subs, I don't know what I'll do with myself.
Were you a guest on the red button? I feel like I saw you there, or a look alike
Nope! But the cloning facility I escaped from did make a national warning about my doppelgangers.
never reacted to my video I put in the channel. horrible creator, doesn't care about his fans