This is super late, but it's worth noting: That's not even a marketing exec, I don't think. It's an outside commentator and 'futurist' that Michael Dresser brought in.
I listen to these to go to sleep most days. Today, obviously, is not a day that I am going to sleep because Ronald Reagan weaponized Pizza for AIDS I fucking guess.
Justin has gotten so good at reading these now. He even has the cadence down and everything. He's like conducting a 1 man play but also doing a really good product pitch.
Fun fact: Gustav Klimt used circles and rectangles to denote female versus male body movements (respectively) in many of his works, particularly “The Kiss”, which features the ambiguous covered forms of an embracing man and woman
I usually listen to these with my eyes closed to really focus into it. When something Gets Me, my eyes will fly open. My eyes were open for this entire 13:32 video.
A square is a type of rhombus. Perhaps you are a dot or something? I’d say line but those are the girls in flatland so it feels kind of misgendery to call you as such
My ADHD demon took me away for a second after the prince joke and dropped me back at "pizza is a traditonally feminine experience" or whatever the fuck and i need an adult
Griffin did math bad with his incredulous, “Each slice is one inch,” comment. You see, 30” is the *diameter* of the pizza, and the circumference of a circle is pi(diameter). In case you’re curious, that works out to about 94.25” of pizza circumference. Since there are thirty slices, each slice has a maximum width of about pi (3.1416) inches at the crust, assuming they’re all cut evenly. Talk about a big pizza pi!
Of course, the width at the crust isn’t really the most important factor here. You don’t just eat the crust of a pizza unless you’re a certifiable sociopath. The AREA is what we should be considering (Pi*r^2, as we all know). With a radius of 15”, that works out to roughly 706.85 square inches of pizza in total - which means each slice contains about 1/30 of the total area, or ~23.56 in.^2. Imagine eating nearly two feet of pizza in a single slice. That’s an unholy amount of pizza.
Rest in peace to our gay forefathers who died as a result of the AIDS crisis… it’s too bad that they didn’t know that the solution was just a big pizza.
The fact that Dominos had the fucking gall to talk about the Aids crisis in a press release about their stupid pizza really makes me angry, not gonna lie
my jaw dropped in real life when that marketing exec said that a big pizza was “about sex”
This is super late, but it's worth noting: That's not even a marketing exec, I don't think. It's an outside commentator and 'futurist' that Michael Dresser brought in.
Everything is about sex, except for sex, which is about pizza.
You think you know where this goes.
*You do not*
I completely forgot about Reggie's time at Pizza Hut before working at Nintendo, so hearing his name here was like a shot to my senses
What a fucking... wild... transition.
@@shawnaeatscats It's not that uncommon in big business for execs to jump between completely different companies.
We want Mario Eats Reggie!
@@thomasb7347 THE COMMA IS SO SO IMPORTANT THERE
I don’t know about you, but “pizza is dangerous now because of the AIDS crisis” was not the take I was prepared for today.
"They hated Jesus because he told them the truth"
I listen to these to go to sleep most days. Today, obviously, is not a day that I am going to sleep because Ronald Reagan weaponized Pizza for AIDS I fucking guess.
Its like a bojack horseman flashback where they constantly remind you of what year they're flashing back to
Holy shit it is
It really really really is
And then you get bombarded by existential dread.
the “age of AIDS” line took me out so hard oh my god
“Pizza Hungry People Love A Hungry Pizza. Get It Big!”
DISCLAIMER: DO NOT USE ROUND, CHEESY & WARM TO DESCRIBE A WOMAN
Cheesy and round i get, warm doesn't seem that bad, it feels like it would be worse to describe someone as "cold".
@@apassionatenerd.3564 yeah but not at once! warm and round maybe, but cheesy must inhabit a different context
If the women in your do not want to be described as round cheesy and warm, you need A better class of woman in your life
This is the greatest munch squad ever natalie. Thank you so much for isolating it. Like this could be the best mbmbam moment for me.
Like I was searching your page for it no more than 15 hours ago and you fucking read my mind and just threw it up there
You angel
I agree 100% Justin best news article ever
Justin has gotten so good at reading these now. He even has the cadence down and everything. He's like conducting a 1 man play but also doing a really good product pitch.
9:45 the other person having no idea what the first person is talking about is one of the best parts for me. 😆
Will Bigfoot Top the Dominator, the subheading on the worlds best erotic novel ever
that's almost certainly a Chuck Tingle book
@@asiunderstandit5717 you fucking know it baby!
This is some of the craziest shit I've ever heard, absolutely amazing.
Fun fact: Gustav Klimt used circles and rectangles to denote female versus male body movements (respectively) in many of his works, particularly “The Kiss”, which features the ambiguous covered forms of an embracing man and woman
I'm pretty sure the bullshit the were peddling at the time has nothing to do with gustav Klimt
Shadow Gamer maybe I’m sleep deprived but this is the funniest possible reply to this comment
The fact that a White House representative is included in this *fast food* article isn’t even the wildest part about it
“This Pizza is sexual” I said ‘WHAT’ out loud. Me, I did, playing Minecraft at home
It's insane how many relics there are of how fucking weird the 90s were. Like... I hardly believe people existed then.
I usually listen to these with my eyes closed to really focus into it. When something Gets Me, my eyes will fly open.
My eyes were open for this entire 13:32 video.
That was one of the wildest rides I've been on
My god. This might be the best piece of writing of all time.
Griffin:"I got big rhombus energy."
Me, a non-binary/Agender: "👁️👄👁️"
A square is a type of rhombus. Perhaps you are a dot or something? I’d say line but those are the girls in flatland so it feels kind of misgendery to call you as such
Wat? WAT!? Domino's BIG BIG SEX PIZZA!?!?
Griffin's indignation at "Hold up. Each slice is one inch? Fuck off!"
Found and achieved my life's purpose by sending this in. Thanks for uploading the clip for whenever I have a bad day!
SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN EATING WHILE LISTENING TO THIS BECAUSE I LITERALLY ALMOST CHOKED TO DEATH AT THE AIDS PART
were you eating pizza?
i want this played @ my wedding. legitimately. this is the new bible
Everytime I listen to this I fucking nearly die because it's so buck wild
Gotta say it like the terminator though 😂 "hasta la pizza, baby"
"People will have phones that are also computers" is a slow burn, but might be the best joke in the whole thing.
Any pizza with as many slices as the number of inches in the diameter will be pi inches at the crust right?
this mathematical relation is now known as Sagrillo's Law
It is a rectangle, does this change anything
But if it were a circle, yes. Roughly 3 inches at the crust.
@@leaffinite2001 wait I just made my comment but... i just realized.... diameter... RECTANGLES DONT HAVE DIAMETERS. Which is it pizza HUT?!
*Please tell me this man wrote other food articles*
*This is fucking gold*
Griffin leaning back from the mic is the sign of god tier content.
Holy shit, this guy put in the WORK
My ADHD demon took me away for a second after the prince joke and dropped me back at "pizza is a traditonally feminine experience" or whatever the fuck and i need an adult
What a fucking journey this article was
Schwarzeneggerian. Now that's a word.
I wish more of my life could have been on the 90s.
Just wanting to show appreciation for Griffin saying Snack Flag
Griffin did math bad with his incredulous, “Each slice is one inch,” comment. You see, 30” is the *diameter* of the pizza, and the circumference of a circle is pi(diameter). In case you’re curious, that works out to about 94.25” of pizza circumference. Since there are thirty slices, each slice has a maximum width of about pi (3.1416) inches at the crust, assuming they’re all cut evenly.
Talk about a big pizza pi!
Of course, the width at the crust isn’t really the most important factor here. You don’t just eat the crust of a pizza unless you’re a certifiable sociopath. The AREA is what we should be considering (Pi*r^2, as we all know). With a radius of 15”, that works out to roughly 706.85 square inches of pizza in total - which means each slice contains about 1/30 of the total area, or ~23.56 in.^2.
Imagine eating nearly two feet of pizza in a single slice. That’s an unholy amount of pizza.
bro I'm sorry to do this to you literally two years later but isn't this specific pizza NOT a circle?
Wait, there's still more space dust.
BIIIIG RHOMBUS ENERGY OVER HERE
I was NOT prepared for that AIDS line holy fuck
cheezy girlz
ronse
Rest in peace to our gay forefathers who died as a result of the AIDS crisis… it’s too bad that they didn’t know that the solution was just a big pizza.
Fucking lost it at "because we're in the age of AIDS". Absolutely wretched
7:59
Wow, listening back to this and the whole chicken sandwich war that happened a year or so ago, shit just keeps repeating itself, huh?
War never changes
The fact that Dominos had the fucking gall to talk about the Aids crisis in a press release about their stupid pizza really makes me angry, not gonna lie
I believe that was the other marketing expert he consulted, not the dominos exec
still--don't get me wrong--completely wild
2:28 is shortly before the Reggie mention.
REGGIE???
reggie was a pizza exec before he worked in games
i know its just like. a cool plot twist
Love the resolute stonewalling in the face of travis's absolutely nothing "jokes"