@@lilfairycupcake Broke? LOL - What kind of helpless idiot would you have to be to find yourself 'broke' after marrying my $160,000/yr electrician wife? That is - if you have any kind of work ethic at all yourself? Maybe give the trophy princesses a pass, FFS.
Yes, you should be greatful. Because the egg you cracked came from a hen. Whereas every one day old male chick drops into the male chick grinder for not being able to ever become an egg producer, not ever being able to put on enough fat to make a tasty dinner, and for wanting to "F" every hen he sees and fight with every other cock he sees; were he to be allowed to grow up. The similarities between man and other animal species is undeniable. I learned everything I needed to know about men through two pages on Ape Behavior. Chimps wage wars to murder the neighboring males, in order to capture and dominate the females. It's how our species evolved also, with no end in sight.
@john-griffin respectfully I have a different perspective. Obviously you should NEVER again have any legal marriage that puts your assets at risk. I would consider dating her. Tell her you've changed also and live taking walks and basically tell her what your new "frame" is and see if she wants to join your frame. There's emotional risk in any new relationship and so you have risk no matter what. Just don't risk assets. There's a good argument that a woman who thought she could do better but couldn't will actually have a much higher level of appreciation and respect for you.
@@marriagepartnersministry5942 why date her again? I don’t give people second chances to mess up my life. You got one hit and that’s it. Gone, you mess up, you make things bad blood between us and it don’t matter friends, relatives, colleagues, business associates and even your wife. They blow that chance with you and they’ll never get a second chance.
You just described my ex-wife. She wasn't happy after 35 years. I will admit I wasn't perfect but i was never abusive and never cheated. Our daughters and I were crushed. She wanted me to take her back after 2 years. Nope. I'm very happy now.
@@MrSamadolfoYou're not wrong about it being dangerous because a woman could easily weaponize the system to get at you when back together especially, in the western world. I guess it may work out well but nonetheless, it's a huge risk for the man to undertake because his trust has been horribly broken by the one who is meant to be his number one ally in life so, how easy would it be to feel safe with her again.
Every single woman I've ever been with was broke when I met them, and astonished when I taught them just a little financial literacy. And...then broke as soon as they were gone. Oh well.
Being happy to me is finally being free, riding my dirt bike, mountain biking, skiing, travel and enough money to do whatever I want whenever I want. Never again will I haul around a boat anchor.
Facts! Wom3n are incentivized to get divorced which is why they initiate the vast majority of divorces. The solution? Stop putting a ring on their finger!
@@swlc5555 Indeed. Btw, my comments get deleted often, even though they are not offensive but rather just referencing facts such as current divorce rates, who initiates the most divorces, etc. It's crazy that we're living in a time where facts are offensive to people and comments like that get censored.
I think back to a buddy of mine, divorced back in 2006. His ex was given a very generous spousal support as well as child support payments. It far exceeded 50% of my buddy’s net income. She probably thought this would give her the same lifestyle while married as it was greater than half of what was going into the bank every month. Wrong. She (like most women) was the spender, and he was the saver. Long story short, she’s in subsidized housing surrounded by boxed wine and cats, whereas my buddy is renovating his own home. Seems that once she was responsible for her own financial decisions, she was constantly broke. Fiscal responsibility was her kriptonite. My buddy’s neighbours have told him that she has been around his place when he’s not there, snooping around. She’s probably thinking of what she screwed up. I asked him if she ever came back asking for a “Mulligan” what he would do. He thought about it for about a nanosecond and replied with a resounding NO. Can’t say as I blame him.
Mine went to my adult children, who are millionaires, and got my daughter to buy her a house, while my adult son, subsidizes her, and she still went to S.S. and taped my account also! She saw that my kids were more successful than me and moved on through them! I KNEW THEY WERE DONG WELL(my kids) BUT I NEVER CHECKED INTO THEIR FINANCES! Women are conniving scumbag witches that will use anything, to get to their goal!
God bless him ! I’m recently divorced and I got absolutely wrecked in court. I’m broke as a joke and middle aged. I ask divorced men all the time what did they do to recover to be able to live at least a decent lifestyle let alone a fruitful life. I know there are other means to happiness but the stress that comes with being able to keep a roof over one’s head is pressing. Plus I still have to do things to care for my young son. These family courts and these state laws surrounding divorce are in a very inhumane.
@ a good motivational RUclips video to watch is Terrence Popp’s one on “The Long Game”. I don’t know if you’re familiar with SGT Popp, but he went through a nasty divorce and came out the other side a changed man. It’s worth checking out.
Women's friends in whom they confide in are most often jealous that they have a good husband and will do anything they can to undermine their relationship.
Whoof, can confirm. Yet another reason why my pool of female friends has shrunk down to only those whom I consider to have marriages as good as, or better than, my own. That's a life pro tip that's free and not-easy-to-follow.
@@TheHomeExpert5 Yes, the "crabs in a bucket effect". They can't stand it if one of the members of the sisterhood is more content than they are. Especially poisonous are unhappy mothers, aunts and sisters when the husband puts his foot down regarding dysfunctional behaviors coming from the wife's family.
Very true, in my case it was two of my wife's sisters, both divorced. From when they started on her It took them about 3 years to convince her that she would be much better off with out me .
Comfort makes cowards of us all. Don’t get comfortable. Be ready to give up everything but your freedom and dignity at the drop of a hat. You can always get a roof over your head or another car and job. But if you betray yourself, you will never forgive yourself.
My grandfather passed away earlier this year at the age of 95. He was married to my grandmother for 65 years and she passed away a decade back. One of our last conversations he asked me why was I single. I simply replied that the juice simply isn't worth the squeeze for men in the west anymore. My peace is Paramount. He jokingly said I agree with you and I can tell you during my 65 years with her I felt alive five of them. "Your woman will give you the best she ever has to offer til the honeymoon ends which is roughly 2 years in. After that, she's moved on spiritually, even if her flesh is besides you." That HAUNTED me.
Wow isn’t that something. From a 95 year old man. I stayed single and never married. My neighbor up the road is 85. He still gets around fine. He is divorced and he managed to get alimony from his ex wife. She’s still alive. I told him I never married, no kids. He said: “that’s not necessarily a bad thing.” So it’s pretty much settled. I will never marry. Have relationships but no marriage.
Even relationships are increasingly toxic. The genders are at war and it spills over everywhere. Call it the New Puritanism - a sexually confused or asexual era in which spirituality is fading and people regard each other as “meat bags,” per internet parlance.
Man!! You guys that got married, I never knew the despair you would go through. I just never had the desire to get married and have kids. But most guys that are married come up to me and say they wish they were single again. How sad.
I had a similar experience with my first wife when we divorced. After 6 months she contacted me and said that dating after the divorce was awful and she wanted to get back together. I told her there was no way I could trust her again, but it wasn't easy as we had a good couple years together. I agree that you get one chance. My last divorce, 8 years ago, has similar thing going on. When we talk she keeps mentioning that all her friends ask her why she divorced a great guy like me. Knowing her it's her indirect way of asking me about getting back together. I was ignoring it, but the last time I told her there was no way were getting back together, it's a one shot type of thing for me.
@@paulds65 I find that every time I do talk to her it reminds me why I don't ever want to get married again. Another reason is that watching mens channels the last couple of years made me understand the X more, and I like to ask her her questions on what's going on to kind of fact check these channels. I found out she did an online profile for a dating app and it followed the 6' and making money rule I hear so much about. I brought up that these guys can have way younger women which was an eye opener for her, and also an answer on why she keeps getting ghosted. We had 16 of 20 years doing pretty good and I don't mind talking but don't have any feelings anymore.
@@paulds65 These people create their own problems. Unless there are children involved, keep your ex in the rear view mirror. This guy is just using his ex for validation. He truly hasn't moved on after 8 years. Cut ties or you'll fall back into relationship with the ex without even realizing , only to repeat the cycle of pain. Some of us never learn. Don't give a snake a second chance to bite you.
Your ex is listening to this while galloping box wine regretting her life decisions. 😂😂 All while my man is soaking in the sun and loving life with mans best friends. Right on.
John, I have to say that the dogs are great interviewers. They don't interrupt, they just give you just the right amount of space to get your message out there. And your message is, as always, to the point!
Today, the drone fell into the creek. Not good. I was testing it to see how bad the damage was, and it went haywire and flew right into one of the dogs. I don't know how he is going to be when I get a new one.
@@john-griffinwell, he might be a bit gun shy now with the new drone. Maybe you could get him a crash helmet and some goggles to wear for a couple of weeks. That's what I wore after my last relationship break-up. 😬
Men learn early that life is a grind and you find those worthwhile moments during that grind. Your childs laugh, a good cup of coffee, a sunny day… Not our wives
Women encourage each other in many negative ways sometimes to sabotage sometimes because they think it is supportive and often it is terrible advice men don't do this.
Recently I had an old flame from my thirties contact me about meeting up. In her text messages she apologized and said she's always felt bad about the way she treated me back then. Now that I'm 67 swimming in money and rental property dating a girl 39 years old I told her to kick rocks. Man that felt good.
John, You amaze me! It took me 9 years to get to where you are! Your channel has helped more than the thousands I spent with therapists! From day one my therapist said " IT AIN"T YOU" !!!!! She, yes she, had seen this many times before! When time came to actually sit with the psychiatrist that ran the clinic, and he told me the stats, 250,000 women in the U.S. do this every year, I was blown away! But watching your videos, another guy telling you what is so similar to what I went through, is so comforting. Yeah there are some differences, but the piont you made that they have these squirrels running around in their female heads making up synario's is so true!!! I am going through genuine health issues and she is seeing something so off the wall! SHE DID WARN ME WHEN I ASKED HER TO MARRY ME, THAT HER MOTHER WENT OFF THE DEEP END IN HER EARLY 60S, But I just didn't want to hear it, so it is my fault being 23 and stupid back in 1973!
😏 Judge DREDD said it best: It's a Meat Grinder, you go in one side and MEAT comes out the other side 🍔 And thats not just the USA, this is going on in Canada and Central America and South America and Europe and Russia and Asia and Middle East, every single day, the number is mind boggling
It’s very difficult to see through the haze of romantic love and use rational thought to make decisions. It happens to so many of us. I think that our culture has driven us to this idea that romantic love is the goal and that’s the ideal we need to hold in our hearts. So we strive for it. The problem is I think we created when it does not actually exist because we want it so bad, as a result, we overlook of the red flags that we would normally identify. When we are physically attracted to a woman who is also physically attracted to us, we on some level are surprised. All men who are not gay, think other men are relatively disgusting pigs. So the fact that a woman would allow us to crawl all over them Seems miraculous. When one of them allows us to crawl all over them especially one who is very attractive. We assume it must be love. So we get married and we pay the price. I hope in my next life I make better decisions.
The reason: women have a very long list of qualities they want in a husband and sadly no single man has all those qualities. So, women settle for the one that mostly can provide, once they have kids + their own money or alimony; they are bored and begin their “escape plan”. Guys, don’t stress yourself about this.
I'm in the best relationship I've ever been in at 60. My gf of 8 years and I live apart. Her possessions and finances are hers and mine are mine. We break up once every few months over a dispute and don't speak to each other for several days. We don't cheat on each other we just don't talk. Then one of us calls the other (usually her unless I think I was in the wrong) and we continue the relationship. We respect each other more as time goes by because we don't take crap from one another and there is no financial gain to end things. I'm not advocating others do this but it works surprisingly well for us.
@@929cbr_rr i'ts not conflict by itself, it's resolved conflict after a few days! That's considered really healthy! Duh! U are sooo young! Good luck! lol
I have a lot in common with this man’s experiences and his philosophies, be stoic, sht happens, get over it, get better, enjoy life, zero emotional energy into hate or regret
@@amazingWonders123 hang in there buddy! Remember the bad times, not just the good with her. I was an internal mess also. Find your peace within yourself, not in the female! I was married 14 yrs, divorced for over 30 yrs now and have never regretted it. You have only your problems to deal with, not the added burden of someone who can create problems where they don't exist! ...hang in there👍
@@jacksquat4140 except that's utterly dumb: many of us men badly want to have a child but we see the pitfalls of 'marriage' as it is defined. REDEFINE IT!
@@18_rabbit : Many men only think they want children. Let me tell you from experience, the path your child takes will probably stray heavily from your own, and there's no guarantee your child will love, honor, or respect you. In this day and age your influence will be outweighed by outside influences, school influences, and maternal influences. If you can afford 18 years of child support payments, and four years of college tuition, then knock yourself out.
Be careful exiting too many relationships because each one takes a huge chunk of your mental resources. For a lot of men once or twice is enough to do them in.
Like horcruxes in the Harry Potter books, you leave a piece of yourself behind with every woman. But unlike the horcrux metaphor, after enough time the pieces eventually reassemble.
@@WildMidwest1 Many men never get to that day because they haven't educated themselves on just how difficult and long the journey actually is. Akin to having a bomb shelter but not stocking it to sustain you for more than a day or two.
21 years of marriage and five years to think about it. I’ve been walking around these trails for the last decade with these dogs talking to myself. At least now I can share that information with people. Thanks.
Everything you say needs to be heard over and over again until it’s internalized. Today’s talk was excellent. I can say it practically goes at the core of everything.
Women don't want to miss out on the experience of having a divorce. Infidelity is in all TV shows and movies, like Titanic. Divorce is another fun experience for a woman, like skydiving, or a European vacation.......the divorce software is already downloaded in their heads from movies and Netflix before they are married.
Women in western countries have the final say in over 85 percent of all buying decisions. There’s money to be made in catering for all kinds of unrealistic expectations. Hence the female entitlement and superiority displays in movies and TV shows. The ‘diamonds are forever’ charade and it’s many many lesser spinoffs. The encouragements in the ladies magazines at the hairdresser’s. The direct advertising for cheating apps at every bus stop. It truly is everywhere. If I had been raised in Teheran or Jakarta, I’d say the West is truly f*cked.
I've trained dogs for years for all kinds of work. Honestly a woman is like a dig playing fetch. High prey kill drive is important in hunting and narcotic dogs. A woman shares a lot of the same traits. Chasing a ball when it is moving keeps the dog happy. But if the ball isn't moving he loses interest. Same for women. When they know the catching game is over they lose interest and begin looking for the next game. I've never seen a dog chase a parked car.
John, I have been watching your videos for a while now about divorce and recovery, and you are so spot on. Our situations are almost identical and I really appreciate your insight. THANK YOU!
I'm glad I can help you feel a little less alone in your pain! I think that when you know someone else has a similar experience, you feel just a little less like a loser. It makes it a lot easier to get on with your life.
Women file for divorce because they think they can do better but when the reality hits them they want to go back. Any woman file for divorce she is doning her man a favor.
@@melissasmess2773 guys are not men. Men don’t reduce women. They build them up, support them, guide them. If a woman isn’t the value a man needs he doesn’t use her and then throw her at a wall. That’s what guys or boys with shit examples do to women. This community whatever it may be is, reprehensible.
John I am from the UK and currently going through a divorce .. is honestly very painful and difficult for me right now .. but I have found your channel and I listen to you while I'm in the gym ... is a massive help to me. Don't know what the future brings .. but for now your words give me some hope. Cheers Rob
Thanks, Rob. Regardless of what happens, I think that you can be hopeful, either way. If your marriage works out then hopefully things will work out well for both of you. But if it doesn’t, it doesn’t mean that the end of your life, you still have lots of options.
Thanks for reply John .. I start to see how maybe my life might be better .. if a bit less money to begin with. @themick6586 thanks ... and I definitely will not make this mistake again.
Eventually they hit the wall and no men, their age, will date them and the men that will are ancient and not attractive to her. I see this happening to gals around 50 years.
Hi again John! I just watched this. Again, excellent video! I've been pondering about seeking psychological therapy for how my life is going but really all I need to do is keep watching your videos! You are my therapist and didn't even know it! thanks
@@MrSamadolfo I am okay. Just struggling financially and trying to survive every day. Everything is ridiculously expensive. Too much hatred in the world. Politicians are full of shit. I am just tired of it all. Thanks for your concern.
I’m really glad the videos are helping you out. I think most of us have the answers inside us. I’m glad my videos are inspiring you to look inside yourself for your own answers. We all want the basic same things. We want peace, we want to be happy, we want to be respected, and if possible to be loved. But will definitely go over three out of four and be quite content with that. Thanks.
Bro, I just want to thank you for sharing your story, wisdom, and knowledge. Us men for the most part don't share our vulnerabilities with each other which prevents us from learning & growing as opposed to women who share with each other. Your videos are truly helping me and many others with the same situation regarding marriage & Divorce. Keep sharing, God bless. 👊🙏
This captivating video triggers a flood of painful memories from the end of my 6 year relationship just three months ago. The woman I loved with all my heart chose to walk away, leaving me grappling with an insurmountable sense of loss. Despite my relentless efforts to salvage what we had, I'm left feeling disillusioned and unable to imagine a future without her. Despite my attempts to move on, I'm drawn to express my deep-seated longing for her here .
The struggle to release someone dear to your heart is undeniably arduous. I empathize, having experienced a similar circumstance when my 8-year relationship concluded. Refusing to accept defeat, I pursued every conceivable avenue to reclaim his affection. Eventually, I sought the assistance of a spiritual counselor, whose wisdom and intervention played a pivotal role in reuniting us.
You build an authentic relationship, once trust is built. Radical transparency right from the beginning, would be great. However, stress or conflict reveals reality and a deeper look into an individual’s true personality.
Monogamy is a major factor to stabilizing our societies by keeping the majority of men PREOCCUPIED with responsibilities, especially responsibilities of the intergenerational kind.
Great video glad you had the foresight to not take her back . Someone once told me if you take her back you loose all what you gain in your healing and you start back at 0 .
😒 its two Fold, you lose your Self Respect, and any Respect that you had gained with your Rival and Enemy The Ex just went down the Toilet and instead you have revealed your true self a Pathetic Weak Soy Boy
@@sachawisznia9685 men’s ? Debatable. Men don’t reduce women. They love women and do right by them. It’s astonishing how many people believe that insulting or emotionally damaging another makes them powerful. Like telling children to bully others. Because when you do you are worth more. So wild. I got get out of there. Later.
Great insights John! I’m based in Nairobi, Kenya and look forward to your videos every day. It gives a great perspective on divorce and moving on and while we are in different continents, it’s amazing how things seem very relatable to our context.
Unfortunately, women do not appreciate and acknowledge what they have until they lose it! My ex who was never the responsible, caring and sensible person towards life, me or my special needs son decided to file for Separation in Jan. of 06 and I responded in 3 weeks with Divorce! She got all frantic and upset and she asked “why the hell I did that”? I told her “I rather prefer to skip the appetizer and just go straight for the main course”! It took 6 agonizing years to get my divorce from her but it was all worth it! Keep up the good work on your channel and sharing all your real life experiences with other men out there. Thanks!🙏
This is so true, my ex-wife cheated on me when my income went down. And then now 2 years later reflecting on our marriage, I realized that she never actually respected me in 10 years of marriage. The reason I say she never respected me is she gained weight right after the marriage started
I remember a point of blaming my wife so many issues i had going on, and the change needed was for ME to file for divorce. It was the only way I seen out of it. However, the only reason I was able to go through with it was reverse what you described. She had transformed to the bread winner, and funny enough when I talked to a lawyer, he said NO, don’t wait until you build yourself back up, do it NOW while your at a low point financially and she’s on top. Boy did that work out fantastically because it gave me the power, in which like a lot of men, I did NOT abuse and just wanted out the thing. Now instead of using words like “she messed me up”, I say…I allowed her to do this and that. Some people look at RedPill to learn, I watch RedPill to make sure I wasn’t going crazy all these years 😂
@@joel3792 lol you are free!! You will die happily now with no warm arms to hold you tight or kiss you and thank you for a beautiful lifetime together. You will die with the red pill! Yippeeee. You’re one of the luckiest and smartest!! @webreakforsquirrel4201 pact up baby!
When my first in an 18 year relationship decided to start playing games and making deadlines for me "or else", I called her bluff. My thought at the time was "this is going to be the most painful thing I will ever do but I have to get over this fear of being alone by facing it head on". It nearly ended me and I learned that particular fear is impossible to beat completely but I never regretted taking that step. She clearly regretted her decision for a while but has been married for the last 25 years. She still calls my Mom to talk. I've never been married and am convinced I'm better off.
Good choice to stay single. By staying single, you can still get the few benefits of marriage with none of the liabilities. btw, mothers are bad at keeping in touch with ex-wives. It is a continuos poison drip into the son's life and damages the mother's relationship with the son; however, mothers seem to value their relationship with the ex over the son.
@@WTHenry2023 I don't feel in any way superior to those who marry regardless of the regular compliments I get about how "smart" my choices have been. I think I miss the illusion that the odds of success aren't as bad as they actually are. My Mom must be one in a million because other than telling me she spoke to my ex and relaying updates she isn't the least bit different towards me.
The thing is, under the current divorce laws and socialization of females through age 18, it's *not* irrational for women to do this. The marriage contract is currently written to heavily favor women in the short and near term ( for 1 to 10 or 15 years after the divorce) if there is a divorce. Just like the grinder culture heavily favors women having sex with a small percentage of the highest status men for 12 years (age 18 to 30) before it leaves women alone. It's *very* hard to trade 12 years of higher dopamine producing pleasure for 12 years of lower dopamine producing married life when you are young. It's *very* hard to stay married when you will get 80% control over the kids (potentially 100%), their values, how they are raised, and get a huge court mandated share of the man's income plus half of all the resources (without any auditing for child support) vs staying married. So you need to consider that women under our current divorce laws know they will gain freedom, power, and wealth from divorcing you ... every single day of the marriage... after things cool down, and from any single friends she has. And they don't see that after that large but temporary boost runs out, they are going to be poorer than if they remained married.
I know most of you are not muslims. But this is Islam's stance on divorce and imo they got it right or better than the modern Western system: 1. Divorce is generally viewed unfavorably in Islam and should only be considered in extreme and unavoidable cases. 2. Marriage is considered a solemn contract in Islam, and both parties have a duty to preserve it to the best of their abilities. 3. Efforts should be made to solve issues within a marriage before considering divorce, such as seeking counsel and engaging in Islamic arbitration. 4. Valid reasons for seeking divorce in Islam include physical, mental, or emotional abuse, incompatibility, infidelity, and failure to fulfill responsibilities.
Atlas: In Islam the husband also has a degree above her. Her salvation depends on him being content with her. He provides and cares of course. Also, divorce is not a sin per se.
@@WalterCardenas-c1z no it's called marriage with shallow ppl. Signs of a shallow woman? She has few ideas and says inane insidpid stuff like expressing herself as first lady of a nation with a jacket with 'i don't really care, do you?' written in big letters on the back. Wow. how low can a mentality be? How pathetic!?
I like the idea that if a woman is unhappy, there is nothing a man can do to make her happy. I have been living this with my wife for 33 years. She will not accept any kind of help. She does not see that she needs help. She spends hours everyday talking to herself and singing to herself. I have grown to accept this behavior. After some research on the internet I have since learned that my wife fits to a tee the profile for a covert-narcissist. Talk about winning the lottery in a relationship. My marriage is still a work-in-progress after all these years with four grown-up children still living in my home. They can observe in her all that I can observe but without yet knowing or understanding what she is all about: A woman who is truly unhinged.
Good grief. I cannot imagine being able to live with a spouse like that for that long, let alone the idea of adult children living in my home. All my kids were gone out and on their own by 21.
I’m a healthy & happily single 57 year old man who (thankfully) never drank the marital kool aid, largely due to observing a number of friends & family throughout the years who married, only to end up unhappy and divorced years later; with the irony being, all those years ago, these same people were the ones always wondering why I chose to never marry at the time! Thankfully those experiences as well as discovering this wonderful channel, along with your very wise views on life & women, have justified the fact that I made the right decision. Thank you!
When mine said she was leaving I finally said ok since she kept threatening a few times before. I went to have dinner with my son to go think and I said on my way out are you this is what you want because once I see him it’s over and her response was what your wife said almost word for word.
When you are married and living with somebody, you are always performing, what I mean is that you cannot be your true self, you have, to some extent, be on your best behavior and it grows quite tiresome. Most women are extremely controlling and they become bitter over the years over the littlest mistakes that a man makes and, most of all women, gossip too much to their friends and family who turn against the man. Then, the woman divorces the man on the advice of her friends and family, only to realize years later that it was a big mistake and that her husband was a good guy.
You forgot the part where they lie to men in order to more successfully control them. Woman love drama, gossiping and smearing their opponents reputation is the game. 😆😈
That need to curry emotional support and a cheerleading squad for some decision regarding their relationships is a serious issue, so yes I agree about the gossiping you mentioned. My view is shut up yapping to your compatriots and make an informed decision on your own. Who cares if they approve? Show some guts you spineless turd of a person already.
What you said at 20:00 hit the nail on the head for me. I really gotta find a way to deal with external forces getting to me and just focus on what I can do. Thanks.
A lot of men find themselves in a similar situation as you’re describing when talking about codependency and not loosing half your shit. However if your marriage is not working or your wife asks for divorce, you are just prolonging the inevitable by not divorcing. The real option is between do I loose half my shit at 40 or do I wait to loose it when I’m 50. Personally I believe that it’s better to bite the bullet and rebuild at 40 then wait any longer. Once you wife wants out, just let her go, she no longer loves or cares for you and there is no point in staying.
The definition of “a hall pass to be an idiot” is uttering the phrase “happy wife happy life… or not calling out somebody on the stupidity of that phrase the moment it is let loose into the relationship. Good video thanks for posting❤
The phrase ‘happy wife, happy life’ is actually true. No joy if she’s not feeling it. The trouble starts when she finds it harder to be happy, and when he takes the phrase as an assignment. Once she’s no longer happy, it’s no time to double down on any effort. It’s simply time to go.
"It doesn't matter...get over it." Definitely words of epic wisdom. The rinse-n-repeat paradigm becomes a trap. Once she says that "she's done..." take her at her word that she's already LONG run the math. Some (most actually...) words can't be unsaid.
When it's the woman who passionately drives for the man to marry her, then that very same woman needs to put far more effort into their marriage, rather than simply listening to her shallow, snidey, jealous and bitchy (fair-weather) 'friends'' advice on divorce - advice with nefarious intent. As you said, once that divorce 'trigger' is pulled, there is never any recovery from that dire situation. Many of these women may be either narcissist, or at least have narcissistic tendencies.
I heard a psychologist talk on this once where he said it's common for women to get bored and unhappy in mid life (kind of mini midlife crisis sort of thing that men and women often experience), and women will often attribute their unhappiness to their marriage rather than other things in their life or about themselves, and so they divorce. He said it's actually quite common for these women to be no happier or even less happy after going through with the divorce that they initiated. He said women need to know about this stuff and should seek counseling/therapy around midlife if they're having these thoughts because usually the issue in their life isn't actually their marriage, it's other things. Sounds like this is what happened with your wife, John.
Best video yet. At some point you should shift topics as an example of really moving on with your life. The reflections are great but I find a lot of RUclipsrs get boring or start getting more extreme because they can’t get past what is mostly a negative and repetitive schtick. But I have been enjoying these. Similar but not identical experiences here. Good reflections and format.
I agree. I intend to mix in other topics as well. I think being a Gen X guy gives me a lot to talk about. Being into the health and fitness gives me a lot of other topics. Changing careers midlife has another good area to work on. And who knows, maybe I’ll even get into some dog training
I’m 47 single never been married. Just to real I just left a legalized brothel in Valencia Spain and had great time for $180 Euros for an hour, someone sell me on marriage in the United States with all the emotional/financial risks!!
*Hepatitis enters the chat* just kidding lol. Remember sex was valued at a loaf of bread at one point in history. Seriously though, so long as it's legal, in my opinion renting is better in a lot of ways.
The locus of control idea or theory you first brought up in another video is very important when evaluating yourself and others. It makes so much sense. For me my locus of control is internal and really has explained my behavior when it comes to the world in general as well as women. The other thing for me is that I have always been comfortable by myself even for extended periods. Since I've had male friends who couldn't be alone for a day if their gal went out of town, I have to say I am blessed in that area. I'm 67 and have never been married and honestly feel fortunate in that area. Even at my age I think your videos are very helpful for any man when it comes to not just women but life itself.
I know that for us older guys that being masculine was how we were raised. Part of that masculine upbringing included a big dose of stoicism. That stoic nature lends itself well to an internal locus of control. We look inside in order to #determine the best path forward for ourselves. Women on the other hand tend to be very externally focused. I think a lot of younger guys are very externally focused too. I think guys who are filled with anger and rage at society are perfect examples of that. They’re looking for an excuse for their own shortcomings and they want to blame others for it. Thanks for your comment.
When I married her, she was 5’9” half Asian half black beauty weighing in at a proportional albeit thick 175 lbs. Today, 20 years later and 6 years divorced - she’s all Bertha weighing in at what I would guesstimate 280 lbs, - all attitude. Luckily, she’s very successful and a good mother even though she did destroy the family unit.
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
As all men told me and I will repeat, "never get married".
not unless you feel the need to be miserable, and broke.
Never had a married man tell me to get married. One old guy told me he would kill me if I ever got married.
Never live with a woman either. Even if you are not married she can still get your assets.
I was told this but did not heed the warning. I can attest, do not get married.
@@lilfairycupcake
Broke?
LOL -
What kind of helpless idiot would you have to be to find yourself 'broke' after marrying my $160,000/yr electrician wife?
That is - if you have any kind of work ethic at all yourself?
Maybe give the trophy princesses a pass, FFS.
I cracked an egg open during breakfast and nearly cried on the bliss on being single and in full control of my peace and my life. Thanks, Sir!
Yes, you should be greatful. Because the egg you cracked came from a hen. Whereas every one day old male chick drops into the male chick grinder for not being able to ever become an egg producer, not ever being able to put on enough fat to make a tasty dinner, and for wanting to "F" every hen he sees and fight with every other cock he sees; were he to be allowed to grow up. The similarities between man and other animal species is undeniable. I learned everything I needed to know about men through two pages on Ape Behavior. Chimps wage wars to murder the neighboring males, in order to capture and dominate the females. It's how our species evolved also, with no end in sight.
i am proud of you JOHN for holding your ground and not taking your ex wife back... many men would have caved.
Thanks. Old dogs can learn new tricks!
never take them back! it sucks for them out in the real world, so let them live, what they wanted.
@john-griffin respectfully I have a different perspective. Obviously you should NEVER again have any legal marriage that puts your assets at risk. I would consider dating her. Tell her you've changed also and live taking walks and basically tell her what your new "frame" is and see if she wants to join your frame. There's emotional risk in any new relationship and so you have risk no matter what. Just don't risk assets. There's a good argument that a woman who thought she could do better but couldn't will actually have a much higher level of appreciation and respect for you.
@@marriagepartnersministry5942 why date her again? I don’t give people second chances to mess up my life. You got one hit and that’s it. Gone, you mess up, you make things bad blood between us and it don’t matter friends, relatives, colleagues, business associates and even your wife.
They blow that chance with you and they’ll never get a second chance.
John how do you make your vids. ‘’’’do you have a Drone video taping you,
You just described my ex-wife. She wasn't happy after 35 years. I will admit I wasn't perfect but i was never abusive and never cheated. Our daughters and I were crushed. She wanted me to take her back after 2 years. Nope. I'm very happy now.
Good for you. Its dangerous to take them back. I assuming they want into the Home. Yeah can't do that 😏🏠🏠
@@MrSamadolfoYou're not wrong about it being dangerous because a woman could easily weaponize the system to get at you when back together especially, in the western world. I guess it may work out well but nonetheless, it's a huge risk for the man to undertake because his trust has been horribly broken by the one who is meant to be his number one ally in life so, how easy would it be to feel safe with her again.
Every single woman I've ever been with was broke when I met them, and astonished when I taught them just a little financial literacy. And...then broke as soon as they were gone. Oh well.
Life is too short to be miserable in an unloving mariage.
Im surprised they had the audacity to ask to get back together
Being happy to me is finally being free, riding my dirt bike, mountain biking, skiing, travel and enough money to do whatever I want whenever I want. Never again will I haul around a boat anchor.
Because women get rewarded in family court for ruining their families.
Facts! Wom3n are incentivized to get divorced which is why they initiate the vast majority of divorces. The solution? Stop putting a ring on their finger!
exactly this is main reason.
Also it ain't only in USA.....the divorce and fake case on husbands industry in countries like india is MASSIVE.
Facts! They are incentivized via family law hence why they initiate the majority of divorces.
Absolutely true! If there was no financial windfall for a woman to divorce, there would be a dramatic decline in women initiating divorces.
@@swlc5555 Indeed. Btw, my comments get deleted often, even though they are not offensive but rather just referencing facts such as current divorce rates, who initiates the most divorces, etc. It's crazy that we're living in a time where facts are offensive to people and comments like that get censored.
I think back to a buddy of mine, divorced back in 2006. His ex was given a very generous spousal support as well as child support payments. It far exceeded 50% of my buddy’s net income. She probably thought this would give her the same lifestyle while married as it was greater than half of what was going into the bank every month. Wrong. She (like most women) was the spender, and he was the saver. Long story short, she’s in subsidized housing surrounded by boxed wine and cats, whereas my buddy is renovating his own home. Seems that once she was responsible for her own financial decisions, she was constantly broke. Fiscal responsibility was her kriptonite. My buddy’s neighbours have told him that she has been around his place when he’s not there, snooping around. She’s probably thinking of what she screwed up. I asked him if she ever came back asking for a “Mulligan” what he would do. He thought about it for about a nanosecond and replied with a resounding NO. Can’t say as I blame him.
Excellent example of typical divorced women
That's exactly why I think the family courts are in women's favor, because they put money back into the economy. The government covertly gets a piece
Mine went to my adult children, who are millionaires, and got my daughter to buy her a house, while my adult son, subsidizes her, and she still went to S.S. and taped my account also! She saw that my kids were more successful than me and moved on through them! I KNEW THEY WERE DONG WELL(my kids) BUT I NEVER CHECKED INTO THEIR FINANCES! Women are conniving scumbag witches that will use anything, to get to their goal!
God bless him ! I’m recently divorced and I got absolutely wrecked in court. I’m broke as a joke and middle aged. I ask divorced men all the time what did they do to recover to be able to live at least a decent lifestyle let alone a fruitful life. I know there are other means to happiness but the stress that comes with being able to keep a roof over one’s head is pressing. Plus I still have to do things to care for my young son. These family courts and these state laws surrounding divorce are in a very inhumane.
@ a good motivational RUclips video to watch is Terrence Popp’s one on “The Long Game”. I don’t know if you’re familiar with SGT Popp, but he went through a nasty divorce and came out the other side a changed man. It’s worth checking out.
Getting married as a man nowadays is one of the worst things you can do. Stay strong kings! 💪 Love doesn't exist.
Not the worst just have a pre and postnub
As Coach Greg Adams likes to say "Men are in love, women are in business"
@@keithrogers9741 I heard the courts will not uphold them.
@@keithrogers9741She will contest the prenup. You will spend tens of thousands of dollars just to get it upheld…if it is upheld.
@@rcas350pilot8 Cite a case and I will ck it out
Women's friends in whom they confide in are most often jealous that they have a good husband and will do anything they can to undermine their relationship.
Whoof, can confirm. Yet another reason why my pool of female friends has shrunk down to only those whom I consider to have marriages as good as, or better than, my own. That's a life pro tip that's free and not-easy-to-follow.
@@TheHomeExpert5 Yes, the "crabs in a bucket effect". They can't stand it if one of the members of the sisterhood is more content than they are. Especially poisonous are unhappy mothers, aunts and sisters when the husband puts his foot down regarding dysfunctional behaviors coming from the wife's family.
😒 as it is written.....A Brood of Vipers
Very true, in my case it was two of my wife's sisters, both divorced. From when they started on her It took them about 3 years to convince her that she would be much better off with out me .
One Divorced Single Mom friend selling the So Great Lie, to make her mistake look ok. Your family is doomed, she'll listen.
Comfort makes cowards of us all. Don’t get comfortable. Be ready to give up everything but your freedom and dignity at the drop of a hat. You can always get a roof over your head or another car and job. But if you betray yourself, you will never forgive yourself.
🎯
well said. facts.
Neil McCauley: don't get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on 30 seconds flat when you feel the heat around the corner.
😏 Houses dont grown on Tree Broh, for most guys its One and Done
@@swisscheese412 Ronin👍
That's f**king true; you're not gonna find happiness in rage, the best revenge is living a good life. Thank you John for these wise words 👏🏻
Thanks
My grandfather passed away earlier this year at the age of 95. He was married to my grandmother for 65 years and she passed away a decade back. One of our last conversations he asked me why was I single. I simply replied that the juice simply isn't worth the squeeze for men in the west anymore. My peace is Paramount. He jokingly said I agree with you and I can tell you during my 65 years with her I felt alive five of them. "Your woman will give you the best she ever has to offer til the honeymoon ends which is roughly 2 years in. After that, she's moved on spiritually, even if her flesh is besides you." That HAUNTED me.
Wow isn’t that something. From a 95 year old man. I stayed single and never married. My neighbor up the road is 85. He still gets around fine. He is divorced and he managed to get alimony from his ex wife. She’s still alive. I told him I never married, no kids. He said: “that’s not necessarily a bad thing.” So it’s pretty much settled. I will never marry. Have relationships but no marriage.
Insane.
Even relationships are increasingly toxic. The genders are at war and it spills over everywhere.
Call it the New Puritanism - a sexually confused or asexual era in which spirituality is fading and people regard each other as “meat bags,” per internet parlance.
Excellent Comment! I think that is the best one of the day.
Damn😮
Men are more about doing the right thing. Women are more about doing what they think is right for themselves.
yep. most woman are covert narcissists.
Well said. True.
Yeah but they get viscous They turn the kids against you! I read somewhere, to Marry a rightious women or you will create your own enemies!
Absolute fact!
Because they never got to do what’s right for them to begin with. Men had plenty of time to do that.
Man!! You guys that got married, I never knew the despair you would go through. I just never had the desire to get married and have kids. But most guys that are married come up to me and say they wish they were single again. How sad.
😂😂😂😂
@@wread1982 🤓
I had a similar experience with my first wife when we divorced. After 6 months she contacted me and said that dating after the divorce was awful and she wanted to get back together. I told her there was no way I could trust her again, but it wasn't easy as we had a good couple years together. I agree that you get one chance. My last divorce, 8 years ago, has similar thing going on. When we talk she keeps mentioning that all her friends ask her why she divorced a great guy like me. Knowing her it's her indirect way of asking me about getting back together. I was ignoring it, but the last time I told her there was no way were getting back together, it's a one shot type of thing for me.
@@DanHottenroth Why are you still even talking to your ex? I completely cut all contact.
@@paulds65 I find that every time I do talk to her it reminds me why I don't ever want to get married again. Another reason is that watching mens channels the last couple of years made me understand the X more, and I like to ask her her questions on what's going on to kind of fact check these channels. I found out she did an online profile for a dating app and it followed the 6' and making money rule I hear so much about. I brought up that these guys can have way younger women which was an eye opener for her, and also an answer on why she keeps getting ghosted. We had 16 of 20 years doing pretty good and I don't mind talking but don't have any feelings anymore.
@@paulds65 These people create their own problems. Unless there are children involved, keep your ex in the rear view mirror. This guy is just using his ex for validation. He truly hasn't moved on after 8 years. Cut ties or you'll fall back into relationship with the ex without even realizing , only to repeat the cycle of pain. Some of us never learn. Don't give a snake a second chance to bite you.
my fourth exwife want to reconcile, i told her I dont give a F if we have a Son, all i care about is Sole Full Custody and you can F O to a Hospice
Imagine the treachery after 42 years with her!
They divorce mostly over feels, vibes, selfishness, and etc. commitment and responsibility means nothing to them.
So xx should live in a miserable mariage, got it 👍
Your ex is listening to this while galloping box wine regretting her life decisions. 😂😂
All while my man is soaking in the sun and loving life with mans best friends.
Right on.
That is true. Thanks
BINGO!
Dogs seem to be a whole lot more loyal than today's modern women.
@@randallschultz7206 dont feed your dog for 4 days and see how loyal it is? loyal prisoners is what they are.
@@lilfairycupcakeThats a terrible thing to say about the most loyal creatures...
John, I have to say that the dogs are great interviewers. They don't interrupt, they just give you just the right amount of space to get your message out there. And your message is, as always, to the point!
They’re very patient with me. Thanks.
😏 the Drone keeps them Distracted
Agreed, I love the dogs. They are the anthesis to marriage in that they provide an air of calm AND love.
Today, the drone fell into the creek. Not good. I was testing it to see how bad the damage was, and it went haywire and flew right into one of the dogs. I don't know how he is going to be when I get a new one.
@@john-griffinwell, he might be a bit gun shy now with the new drone. Maybe you could get him a crash helmet and some goggles to wear for a couple of weeks. That's what I wore after my last relationship break-up. 😬
Men learn early that life is a grind and you find those worthwhile moments during that grind. Your childs laugh, a good cup of coffee, a sunny day…
Not our wives
Interesting. A good cup of coffee :) I had my first cup in 3 years the other day and it was nice :) A sunny day is fantastic :)
I totally disagree that we learn early😂..but the rest of what you said was pure gold❤😂
that's why the ideal wife is one you have sex with and afterwards turns into a 6 pack
😒 meh, Wives are over rated
Women encourage each other in many negative ways sometimes to sabotage sometimes because they think it is supportive and often it is terrible advice men don't do this.
Recently I had an old flame from my thirties contact me about meeting up. In her text messages she apologized and said she's always felt bad about the way she treated me back then. Now that I'm 67 swimming in money and rental property dating a girl 39 years old I told her to kick rocks. Man that felt good.
😏 Good For You Bro, thats what you get
💭
Splendid.
39 is OLD bro. Think of a 39 year old running back in the NFL
@@andre1987eph 67 is old.
You are performing a great service to the community. Thank you for you well thought out messages, and reminder to get out in nature.
I appreciate that!
😒 Dont be in the Woods after DUSK, all kinds of Cryptids out there 🎃👻
John, You amaze me! It took me 9 years to get to where you are! Your channel has helped more than the thousands I spent with therapists! From day one my therapist said " IT AIN"T YOU" !!!!! She, yes she, had seen this many times before! When time came to actually sit with the psychiatrist that ran the clinic, and he told me the stats, 250,000 women in the U.S. do this every year, I was blown away! But watching your videos, another guy telling you what is so similar to what I went through, is so comforting. Yeah there are some differences, but the piont you made that they have these squirrels running around in their female heads making up synario's is so true!!! I am going through genuine health issues and she is seeing something so off the wall! SHE DID WARN ME WHEN I ASKED HER TO MARRY ME, THAT HER MOTHER WENT OFF THE DEEP END IN HER EARLY 60S, But I just didn't want to hear it, so it is my fault being 23 and stupid back in 1973!
😏 Judge DREDD said it best: It's a Meat Grinder, you go in one side and MEAT comes out the other side 🍔 And thats not just the USA, this is going on in Canada and Central America and South America and Europe and Russia and Asia and Middle East, every single day, the number is mind boggling
It’s very difficult to see through the haze of romantic love and use rational thought to make decisions. It happens to so many of us. I think that our culture has driven us to this idea that romantic love is the goal and that’s the ideal we need to hold in our hearts. So we strive for it. The problem is I think we created when it does not actually exist because we want it so bad, as a result, we overlook of the red flags that we would normally identify. When we are physically attracted to a woman who is also physically attracted to us, we on some level are surprised. All men who are not gay, think other men are relatively disgusting pigs. So the fact that a woman would allow us to crawl all over them Seems miraculous. When one of them allows us to crawl all over them especially one who is very attractive. We assume it must be love. So we get married and we pay the price. I hope in my next life I make better decisions.
The reason: women have a very long list of qualities they want in a husband and sadly no single man has all those qualities. So, women settle for the one that mostly can provide, once they have kids + their own money or alimony; they are bored and begin their “escape plan”. Guys, don’t stress yourself about this.
@@TheLegend-uq1gz why are you mad about them being bored?
@@w3n33dam1racl3doesn't seem like he is.
This concept is great. Walking in the woods, like some kind of Emerson, and just talking about life as an older man. Congratulations!
thanks, was funny. Is that walking in the woods and talking to myself is what I do most of the time anyway. Now I just hold the camera.
Marriage is one contract where a party (almost always the woman) is _INCENTIVISED_ to break that contract.
INCORRECT. Divorce IS the marriage contract, and the marriage contract gets fulfilled 80% of the time.
And fritter it away instead of passing it down to kids.
The wall is nature's poetic justice.
Brilliant simple insight thank you
First rule of marriage: don’t let your guard down.
Good rule but I would make it the second rule. The first rule of marriage is... DON'T DO IT nullifying rule #2!
The best way to avoid a punch is to not be there when it lands.
Don't get married
Don’t get married and the problem is solved.
Al bundy was right.
I'm in the best relationship I've ever been in at 60. My gf of 8 years and I live apart. Her possessions and finances are hers and mine are mine. We break up once every few months over a dispute and don't speak to each other for several days. We don't cheat on each other we just don't talk. Then one of us calls the other (usually her unless I think I was in the wrong) and we continue the relationship. We respect each other more as time goes by because we don't take crap from one another and there is no financial gain to end things. I'm not advocating others do this but it works surprisingly well for us.
Good grief, that sounds awful ! I guess some people like some conflict in their life. I have no time for that kind of BS. To each their own.
@@929cbr_rr i'ts not conflict by itself, it's resolved conflict after a few days! That's considered really healthy! Duh! U are sooo young! Good luck! lol
Marry her and you will find out she is not what she looks
Walk away, go dark and level up. It is that simple.
Good advice. Only real play
I have a lot in common with this man’s experiences and his philosophies, be stoic, sht happens, get over it, get better, enjoy life, zero emotional energy into hate or regret
Please keep doing your videos man. You are my number one go to channel when I feel depressed about my divorce just over a month ago
@@amazingWonders123 hang in there buddy! Remember the bad times, not just the good with her. I was an internal mess also. Find your peace within yourself, not in the female! I was married 14 yrs, divorced for over 30 yrs now and have never regretted it. You have only your problems to deal with, not the added burden of someone who can create problems where they don't exist! ...hang in there👍
How much did you spend on attorneys?
And the moral of the story is: DON'T GET MARRIED, simple.
😇 And He Lived Happily Ever After. The End.
Well, the trick is to not marry and not impregnate.
@@jacksquat4140 except that's utterly dumb: many of us men badly want to have a child but we see the pitfalls of 'marriage' as it is defined. REDEFINE IT!
@@18_rabbit: Hey, if you want 18 years of child support payments and 4 years of college tuition after that, then go for it.
@@18_rabbit : Many men only think they want children. Let me tell you from experience, the path your child takes will probably stray heavily from your own, and there's no guarantee your child will love, honor, or respect you. In this day and age your influence will be outweighed by outside influences, school influences, and maternal influences. If you can afford 18 years of child support payments, and four years of college tuition, then knock yourself out.
Be careful exiting too many relationships because each one takes a huge chunk of your mental resources. For a lot of men once or twice is enough to do them in.
Like horcruxes in the Harry Potter books, you leave a piece of yourself behind with every woman. But unlike the horcrux metaphor, after enough time the pieces eventually reassemble.
@@WildMidwest1 Many men never get to that day because they haven't educated themselves on just how difficult and long the journey actually is. Akin to having a bomb shelter but not stocking it to sustain you for more than a day or two.
Duuude how did you pack so much wisdom in this video. It's insane.
His experience gave him wisdom which he shares with us 😀
😏 yes he's a Natural, i mentioned it likewise, He's a Horse Whisperer LOL 🐴🐴🐴
21 years of marriage and five years to think about it. I’ve been walking around these trails for the last decade with these dogs talking to myself. At least now I can share that information with people. Thanks.
Everything you say needs to be heard over and over again until it’s internalized. Today’s talk was excellent. I can say it practically goes at the core of everything.
NEVER TAKE THEM BACK.!
Women don't want to miss out on the experience of having a divorce. Infidelity is in all TV shows and movies, like Titanic. Divorce is another fun experience for a woman, like skydiving, or a European vacation.......the divorce software is already downloaded in their heads from movies and Netflix before they are married.
Underrated comment. Should be pinned.
This comment is a banger 👍
100% correct
Women in western countries have the final say in over 85 percent of all buying decisions.
There’s money to be made in catering for all kinds of unrealistic expectations.
Hence the female entitlement and superiority displays in movies and TV shows.
The ‘diamonds are forever’ charade and it’s many many lesser spinoffs.
The encouragements in the ladies magazines at the hairdresser’s.
The direct advertising for cheating apps at every bus stop.
It truly is everywhere. If I had been raised in Teheran or Jakarta, I’d say the West is truly f*cked.
Usually a woman's father or brother intervened in the case of marriage issues...with the aim of saving it...that stopped a long time ago
i noticed this too. not that women ever listen to the men in their family anyway.
💯
Grandmother's, Mother's and Aunt's also helped to keep the marriage together because divorce was very damaging to the wife and a stain on the family
I've trained dogs for years for all kinds of work.
Honestly a woman is like a dig playing fetch. High prey kill drive is important in hunting and narcotic dogs.
A woman shares a lot of the same traits.
Chasing a ball when it is moving keeps the dog happy. But if the ball isn't moving he loses interest. Same for women. When they know the catching game is over they lose interest and begin looking for the next game.
I've never seen a dog chase a parked car.
This is facts
My dog won't chase a parked car; but, he sure will lift a leg on its tire. 😀
@@jfnuyen😂
Brilliant !!!
John, I have been watching your videos for a while now about divorce and recovery, and you are so spot on. Our situations are almost identical and I really appreciate your insight. THANK YOU!
I'm glad I can help you feel a little less alone in your pain! I think that when you know someone else has a similar experience, you feel just a little less like a loser. It makes it a lot easier to get on with your life.
Women file for divorce because they think they can do better but when the reality hits them they want to go back. Any woman file for divorce she is doning her man a favor.
I'm watching them hit that Wall, lots of sex with guys but the guys aren't interested in a serious relationship. 😂 about age 50
thank goodness! This is wonderful advice. I will carry this comment with me to be sure I don’t lose track of doning him a favor. 🤗🤗
@@melissasmess2773 guys are not men. Men don’t reduce women. They build them up, support them, guide them. If a woman isn’t the value a man needs he doesn’t use her and then throw her at a wall. That’s what guys or boys with shit examples do to women. This community whatever it may be is, reprehensible.
seeking friend's sucks, they will always disappoint, sitting alone without a close partner sucks they will also disappoint and be gone.
The last section about living your best life and not giving your power away is really the way. I’m working on that.
women retire at divorce. men at death.
It's her Annuity Plan
No they retire within the first 2 years of marriage and your left dragging them and there family along for the ride until you've had enough
This was my 2nd time watching this video. Well worth the time. Thanks.
John I am from the UK and currently going through a divorce .. is honestly very painful and difficult for me right now .. but I have found your channel and I listen to you while I'm in the gym ... is a massive help to me. Don't know what the future brings .. but for now your words give me some hope. Cheers Rob
Thanks, Rob. Regardless of what happens, I think that you can be hopeful, either way. If your marriage works out then hopefully things will work out well for both of you. But if it doesn’t, it doesn’t mean that the end of your life, you still have lots of options.
Most of us on this channel, have lived the same ting you're going through. Keep your head up, it will get better, don't make the same mistakes again.
Thanks for reply John .. I start to see how maybe my life might be better .. if a bit less money to begin with. @themick6586 thanks ... and I definitely will not make this mistake again.
The grass is (not) always greener on the other side 😊
Eventually they hit the wall and no men, their age, will date them and the men that will are ancient and not attractive to her. I see this happening to gals around 50 years.
😒 dont be taking in any moochers or people looking for a Reset or a Refresh or An Update, send them back to their Parents
It is if your current green is anemic.
I want peace and freedom ,
I think we all wish John was our next door neighbour. Great advice as usual - thank you!
Hi again John! I just watched this. Again, excellent video! I've been pondering about seeking psychological therapy for how my life is going but really all I need to do is keep watching your videos! You are my therapist and didn't even know it! thanks
🙂 theres a handful of therapists channels out there as well, mix it up, hope your doing ok
@@MrSamadolfo I am okay. Just struggling financially and trying to survive every day. Everything is ridiculously expensive. Too much hatred in the world. Politicians are full of shit. I am just tired of it all. Thanks for your concern.
I’m really glad the videos are helping you out. I think most of us have the answers inside us. I’m glad my videos are inspiring you to look inside yourself for your own answers. We all want the basic same things. We want peace, we want to be happy, we want to be respected, and if possible to be loved. But will definitely go over three out of four and be quite content with that. Thanks.
Bro, I just want to thank you for sharing your story, wisdom, and knowledge. Us men for the most part don't share our vulnerabilities with each other which prevents us from learning & growing as opposed to women who share with each other. Your videos are truly helping me and many others with the same situation regarding marriage & Divorce. Keep sharing, God bless. 👊🙏
Thanks, I’m glad it’s making a difference
This captivating video triggers a flood of painful memories from the end of my 6 year relationship just three months ago. The woman I loved with all my heart chose to walk away, leaving me grappling with an insurmountable sense of loss. Despite my relentless efforts to salvage what we had, I'm left feeling disillusioned and unable to imagine a future without her. Despite my attempts to move on, I'm drawn to express my deep-seated longing for her here .
The struggle to release someone dear to your heart is undeniably arduous. I empathize, having experienced a similar circumstance when my 8-year relationship concluded. Refusing to accept defeat, I pursued every conceivable avenue to reclaim his affection. Eventually, I sought the assistance of a spiritual counselor, whose wisdom and intervention played a pivotal role in reuniting us.
That's fascinating! How did you come across a spiritual counselor, and what's the best way for me to contact her?
Suzanne Ann Walters is the name of an exceptional spiritual counselor renowned for her ability to reunite you with your former partner.
Thank you for this valuable information.
What was her reason or excuse to leave
You build an authentic relationship, once trust is built. Radical transparency right from the beginning, would be great. However, stress or conflict reveals reality and a deeper look into an individual’s true personality.
Love your videos thank you. I love what you said at the end. Take responsibility for everything and walk away if necessary. Thank you very much
Monogamy is a major factor to stabilizing our societies by keeping the majority of men PREOCCUPIED with responsibilities, especially responsibilities of the intergenerational kind.
Modern Marriage is just about the Worst Ever Deal a man can sign up for. Encouragingly, more & more men are waking up to that fact. 🧐😎🌴🎸
Thank you for posting.
Great video glad you had the foresight to not take her back . Someone once told me if you take her back you loose all what you gain in your healing and you start back at 0 .
😒 its two Fold, you lose your Self Respect, and any Respect that you had gained with your Rival and Enemy The Ex just went down the Toilet and instead you have revealed your true self a Pathetic Weak Soy Boy
BEST men's content Channel on RUclips! Thank you Sir for your valuable insight/therapeutic approach... 👍👍
Wow, thank you! i appreciate that.
@@sachawisznia9685 men’s ? Debatable. Men don’t reduce women. They love women and do right by them. It’s astonishing how many people believe that insulting or emotionally damaging another makes them powerful. Like telling children to bully others. Because when you do you are worth more. So wild. I got get out of there. Later.
Neurosis amplifies those difficulties women encounter.
Watching from Bulgaria with eyes wide open 😊
putting stuff, and money aside, i had 4 small children, and their futures on the line, and she could have cared less about them.
it's amazing how selfish they are.
😏 exactly, they dont give a F about Family Trees or Family Legacys or Bloodlines
"Men will sacrifice their happiness for family. Women will sacrifice their family for happiness"
@WTHenry2023 for what they "feel" will bring them happiness, but most of the time they are very wrong.
Going through the same just now
Delay is the best remedy... to almost avoid every possible bad choice.
Great insights John! I’m based in Nairobi, Kenya and look forward to your videos every day. It gives a great perspective on divorce and moving on and while we are in different continents, it’s amazing how things seem very relatable to our context.
Vipy bro, we uko married?
Unfortunately, women do not appreciate and acknowledge what they have until they lose it! My ex who was never the responsible, caring and sensible person towards life, me or my special needs son decided to file for Separation in Jan. of 06 and I responded in 3 weeks with Divorce! She got all frantic and upset and she asked “why the hell I did that”? I told her “I rather prefer to skip the appetizer and just go straight for the main course”! It took 6 agonizing years to get my divorce from her but it was all worth it! Keep up the good work on your channel and sharing all your real life experiences with other men out there. Thanks!🙏
😏 LOL Good Analogy, my comeback would be: Vengeance is a Dish Best Served COLD
1000% correct regarding all women love drama. That’s my view.
Excellent, awesome video. Amazing points 👍🏻😊👏👊
Thanks! 👍
I'm a woman and i really enjoy watching your stuff. 😂
Thanks! I really appreciate hearing that from you
This is so true, my ex-wife cheated on me when my income went down. And then now 2 years later reflecting on our marriage, I realized that she never actually respected me in 10 years of marriage. The reason I say she never respected me is she gained weight right after the marriage started
I remember a point of blaming my wife so many issues i had going on, and the change needed was for ME to file for divorce. It was the only way I seen out of it. However, the only reason I was able to go through with it was reverse what you described. She had transformed to the bread winner, and funny enough when I talked to a lawyer, he said NO, don’t wait until you build yourself back up, do it NOW while your at a low point financially and she’s on top. Boy did that work out fantastically because it gave me the power, in which like a lot of men, I did NOT abuse and just wanted out the thing. Now instead of using words like “she messed me up”, I say…I allowed her to do this and that. Some people look at RedPill to learn, I watch RedPill to make sure I wasn’t going crazy all these years 😂
@@joel3792 lol you are free!! You will die happily now with no warm arms to hold you tight or kiss you and thank you for a beautiful lifetime together. You will die with the red pill! Yippeeee. You’re one of the luckiest and smartest!! @webreakforsquirrel4201 pact up baby!
I can identify with the experience of the miserable demise of marriage. I appreciate these videos.
When my first in an 18 year relationship decided to start playing games and making deadlines for me "or else", I called her bluff. My thought at the time was "this is going to be the most painful thing I will ever do but I have to get over this fear of being alone by facing it head on". It nearly ended me and I learned that particular fear is impossible to beat completely but I never regretted taking that step. She clearly regretted her decision for a while but has been married for the last 25 years. She still calls my Mom to talk. I've never been married and am convinced I'm better off.
😏 you dodged a bullet my friend, Wives have a very low R O I
Good choice to stay single. By staying single, you can still get the few benefits of marriage with none of the liabilities. btw, mothers are bad at keeping in touch with ex-wives. It is a continuos poison drip into the son's life and damages the mother's relationship with the son; however, mothers seem to value their relationship with the ex over the son.
@@WTHenry2023 I don't feel in any way superior to those who marry regardless of the regular compliments I get about how "smart" my choices have been. I think I miss the illusion that the odds of success aren't as bad as they actually are.
My Mom must be one in a million because other than telling me she spoke to my ex and relaying updates she isn't the least bit different towards me.
@@MrSamadolfo I've always seemed to grasp that when the decision has to be made but do wish it weren't true.
Any children with this woman?
The thing is, under the current divorce laws and socialization of females through age 18, it's *not* irrational for women to do this.
The marriage contract is currently written to heavily favor women in the short and near term ( for 1 to 10 or 15 years after the divorce) if there is a divorce. Just like the grinder culture heavily favors women having sex with a small percentage of the highest status men for 12 years (age 18 to 30) before it leaves women alone.
It's *very* hard to trade 12 years of higher dopamine producing pleasure for 12 years of lower dopamine producing married life when you are young.
It's *very* hard to stay married when you will get 80% control over the kids (potentially 100%), their values, how they are raised, and get a huge court mandated share of the man's income plus half of all the resources (without any auditing for child support) vs staying married.
So you need to consider that women under our current divorce laws know they will gain freedom, power, and wealth from divorcing you ... every single day of the marriage... after things cool down, and from any single friends she has. And they don't see that after that large but temporary boost runs out, they are going to be poorer than if they remained married.
Post marriage aftermath men end up miserable, broke and alone. Divorce is a serious situation for men .
Yet, no one cares about men's pain and suffering after divorce. Men are disposable.
yep, many a death of despair from late forties into mid fifties or bit later. Or worse.
agree, or disagree, i always appreciate your analytical thought process. common sense, critical thought, are both in short supply theses days.
Thanks
I totally own the fact that my ex wife didn’t really want to marry me. I wasn’t her first choice. And I stayed way too damn long.
same situation with my fourth exwife, glad its over, hope your doing well
@@MrSamadolfo I’m doing well. Same to you man
My issue is the financial ruin and child access
Agree 100%
I know most of you are not muslims. But this is Islam's stance on divorce and imo they got it right or better than the modern Western system:
1. Divorce is generally viewed unfavorably in Islam and should only be considered in extreme and unavoidable cases.
2. Marriage is considered a solemn contract in Islam, and both parties have a duty to preserve it to the best of their abilities.
3. Efforts should be made to solve issues within a marriage before considering divorce, such as seeking counsel and engaging in Islamic arbitration.
4. Valid reasons for seeking divorce in Islam include physical, mental, or emotional abuse, incompatibility, infidelity, and failure to fulfill responsibilities.
Atlas: In Islam the husband also has a degree above her. Her salvation depends on him being content with her. He provides and cares of course. Also, divorce is not a sin per se.
Prostitution should be legal. It would level the playing field.
@@WalterCardenas-c1z no it's called marriage with shallow ppl. Signs of a shallow woman? She has few ideas and says inane insidpid stuff like expressing herself as first lady of a nation with a jacket with 'i don't really care, do you?' written in big letters on the back. Wow. how low can a mentality be? How pathetic!?
I like the idea that if a woman is unhappy, there is nothing a man can do to make her happy. I have been living this with my wife
for 33 years.
She will not accept any kind of help. She does not see that she needs help. She spends hours everyday talking to herself and singing to herself.
I have grown to accept this behavior.
After some research on the internet I have since learned that my wife fits to a tee the profile for a covert-narcissist.
Talk about winning the lottery in a relationship.
My marriage is still a work-in-progress after all these years with four grown-up children still living in my home. They can observe in her all that I can observe but without yet knowing or understanding what she is all about:
A woman who is truly unhinged.
Good grief. I cannot imagine being able to live with a spouse like that for that long, let alone the idea of adult children living in my home. All my kids were gone out and on their own by 21.
Sounds more like schizophrenia
You are probably right. Just don't tell my wife. This disease does run in her family.
I’m a healthy & happily single 57 year old man who (thankfully) never drank the marital kool aid, largely due to observing a number of friends & family throughout the years who married, only to end up unhappy and divorced years later; with the irony being, all those years ago, these same people were the ones always wondering why I chose to never marry at the time!
Thankfully those experiences as well as discovering this wonderful channel, along with your very wise views on life & women, have justified the fact that I made the right decision. Thank you!
When mine said she was leaving I finally said ok since she kept threatening a few times before. I went to have dinner with my son to go think and I said on my way out are you this is what you want because once I see him it’s over and her response was what your wife said almost word for word.
When you are married and living with somebody, you are always performing, what I mean is that you cannot be your true self, you have, to some extent, be on your best behavior and it grows quite tiresome. Most women are extremely controlling and they become bitter over the years over the littlest mistakes that a man makes and, most of all women, gossip too much to their friends and family who turn against the man. Then, the woman divorces the man on the advice of her friends and family, only to realize years later that it was a big mistake and that her husband was a good guy.
Marriage....in one paragraph!...
Spot-on
You forgot the part where they lie to men in order to more successfully control them. Woman love drama, gossiping and smearing their opponents reputation is the game. 😆😈
That need to curry emotional support and a cheerleading squad for some decision regarding their relationships is a serious issue, so yes I agree about the gossiping you mentioned. My view is shut up yapping to your compatriots and make an informed decision on your own. Who cares if they approve? Show some guts you spineless turd of a person already.
What you said at 20:00 hit the nail on the head for me. I really gotta find a way to deal with external forces getting to me and just focus on what I can do. Thanks.
Exactly
I saw several divorces where the woman seemed to do it out of boredom.
😂💯😈🔥
yep.
😏 oh really? you dont say 🤔
A lot of men find themselves in a similar situation as you’re describing when talking about codependency and not loosing half your shit. However if your marriage is not working or your wife asks for divorce, you are just prolonging the inevitable by not divorcing. The real option is between do I loose half my shit at 40 or do I wait to loose it when I’m 50. Personally I believe that it’s better to bite the bullet and rebuild at 40 then wait any longer. Once you wife wants out, just let her go, she no longer loves or cares for you and there is no point in staying.
This guy is awesome! Sharing experiences that alot of us have also experienced. A coffee or beer for you, sir!
Thanks!
The definition of “a hall pass to be an idiot” is uttering the phrase “happy wife happy life… or not calling out somebody on the stupidity of that phrase the moment it is let loose into the relationship. Good video thanks for posting❤
The phrase ‘happy wife, happy life’ is actually true. No joy if she’s not feeling it.
The trouble starts when she finds it harder to be happy, and when he takes the phrase as an assignment.
Once she’s no longer happy, it’s no time to double down on any effort. It’s simply time to go.
I think you should do a video on how divorce destroys the children.
"It doesn't matter...get over it." Definitely words of epic wisdom. The rinse-n-repeat paradigm becomes a trap. Once she says that "she's done..." take her at her word that she's already LONG run the math. Some (most actually...) words can't be unsaid.
😏 shiiiiii she's been done with your a$$ for maybe 5 years back, its only now your being told, thats how they Operate, everybody already knew LOL
Excellent insight. Thanks for sharing. Good content.
Glad you enjoyed it!
When it's the woman who passionately drives for the man to marry her, then that very same woman needs to put far more effort into their marriage, rather than simply listening to her shallow, snidey, jealous and bitchy (fair-weather) 'friends'' advice on divorce - advice with nefarious intent. As you said, once that divorce 'trigger' is pulled, there is never any recovery from that dire situation. Many of these women may be either narcissist, or at least have narcissistic tendencies.
Good talk; you hit a personal spot!
I heard a psychologist talk on this once where he said it's common for women to get bored and unhappy in mid life (kind of mini midlife crisis sort of thing that men and women often experience), and women will often attribute their unhappiness to their marriage rather than other things in their life or about themselves, and so they divorce. He said it's actually quite common for these women to be no happier or even less happy after going through with the divorce that they initiated. He said women need to know about this stuff and should seek counseling/therapy around midlife if they're having these thoughts because usually the issue in their life isn't actually their marriage, it's other things. Sounds like this is what happened with your wife, John.
Best video yet. At some point you should shift topics as an example of really moving on with your life. The reflections are great but I find a lot of RUclipsrs get boring or start getting more extreme because they can’t get past what is mostly a negative and repetitive schtick. But I have been enjoying these. Similar but not identical experiences here. Good reflections and format.
Some channels move over to Politics or Science or Prepping or Sports or Theology or Religion or Mechanics or Engineer or IT
I agree. I intend to mix in other topics as well. I think being a Gen X guy gives me a lot to talk about. Being into the health and fitness gives me a lot of other topics. Changing careers midlife has another good area to work on. And who knows, maybe I’ll even get into some dog training
Great work and so true!!
Thank you!
I’m 47 single never been married. Just to real I just left a legalized brothel in Valencia Spain and had great time for $180 Euros for an hour, someone sell me on marriage in the United States with all the emotional/financial risks!!
@@Ben-kw8nb How hot, scale 1 - 10?! 🤣🤣🤣
Lot cheaper than getting married
*Hepatitis enters the chat* just kidding lol. Remember sex was valued at a loaf of bread at one point in history. Seriously though, so long as it's legal, in my opinion renting is better in a lot of ways.
The locus of control idea or theory you first brought up in another video is very important when evaluating yourself and others. It makes so much sense. For me my locus of control is internal and really has explained my behavior when it comes to the world in general as well as women. The other thing for me is that I have always been comfortable by myself even for extended periods. Since I've had male friends who couldn't be alone for a day if their gal went out of town, I have to say I am blessed in that area. I'm 67 and have never been married and honestly feel fortunate in that area. Even at my age I think your videos are very helpful for any man when it comes to not just women but life itself.
I know that for us older guys that being masculine was how we were raised. Part of that masculine upbringing included a big dose of stoicism. That stoic nature lends itself well to an internal locus of control. We look inside in order to #determine the best path forward for ourselves. Women on the other hand tend to be very externally focused. I think a lot of younger guys are very externally focused too. I think guys who are filled with anger and rage at society are perfect examples of that. They’re looking for an excuse for their own shortcomings and they want to blame others for it. Thanks for your comment.
When I married her, she was 5’9” half Asian half black beauty weighing in at a proportional albeit thick 175 lbs. Today, 20 years later and 6 years divorced - she’s all Bertha weighing in at what I would guesstimate 280 lbs, - all attitude. Luckily, she’s very successful and a good mother even though she did destroy the family unit.
😏 LOL my second wife blew up to 220, she married her work husband, what a shmuck
She's destroying her cardiovascular system as well
At least you’re not within arms of her. That kind of size I bet she could really pack a punch.