Many men marry to impress other men with "a gorgeous woman", as somebody wrote here. Then, after making this superficial choice, he is bewidered that she wants a divorce! I'm sorry, what did he think!?
17 years, 2 kids, dog, SUV, 1 block from the golf course, 2 vacations a year, financially supported her family, never laid hands on her, loved her without being loved back and now she lives alone in a rented condo and works full time for $20 an hour.
Hi John, I am 58 years now, when I look back my whole life has been dogged by unhappy women. It starts with your mother she’s not happy. Then you go to school and the teachers aren’t happy. Then you start dating and girlfriends aren’t happy. Then you start work and the women at work aren’t happy. Then you decide to get married and your wife isn’t happy. Then you get divorced and your ex-wife still isn’t happy. At 55, I decided to forget women and enjoy being single so for the first time in my life the last three years has been fantastic without any hassle or stress. Society leads us to believe that the answer to happiness is to be with a woman. I’ve never met a happy woman yet, so that theory doesn’t work. A man cannot make a woman happy. Greater man than me have tried and failed. Great video thank you! Alan
@@john-griffin Thanks for your great reply John. You mentioned that your wife has called you a few times and has been crying on the phone. My uncle who lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, divorced his wife and she used to call him crying on the phone, because she was sorry, so in a moment of weakness he gave in and they started seeing each other again. She then fell pregnant and they decided to get married again for the baby’s sake. To cut a long story short, they are getting divorced for the second time. Don’t have a moment of weakness John, it’s an expensive mistake!!
@@theglobalvagabond3074 some other good bits of advice. Check her relationship with her father and her siblings. That will tell you alot. Also are you able to have an honest conversation with yourself and ask how much/high is the princess factor? Also fellas if you see signs of a Tomboy that still has femininity that gets on well with her dad, mum and brothers those to my mind are big green flags. It means she can find her own joy in life, perhaps possesses perspective and stoicism other good traits. She is a bit like a man but is still is a woman. She will see it as a partnership and you are in it together.
@@Burrows24 I'm divorced and remarried. Interesting take on the relationship with parents/dad and siblings and a little feminine tomboy mixed in. No man needs a princess.
As a young man I had a long time girlfriend tearfully say to me, "I don't know how to love you". I was bewildered by this confession. It took some time to process what she really meant. What she meant was I can't manipulate, change and eventually destroy you. Exactly what she did to the poor guy she eventually married. Happily still single.
😏 my last wife was a real snake, when she was ready to leave me she started smirking and giggling like a little witch and told me 'Sam, to be honest with you I never loved you' , dam she got me good, and she walked out with my Son 🐍
My x divorced me, no reason provided. Basically she couldn't get me under the thumb and I also made her fully aware I could see right through her nonsense during the "marriage". I basically outsmarted her. But boy is she making me pay now, with the might of the system propping her up.
@@MrSamadolfoincreasing numbers of them are gonna wind up growing old alone and unloved with a dozen cats and relying on boxed wine and head scripts to get by.
@@benstandard 😏 i can see a bright future for investments in Senior Homes and Assisted Living and Nurses and all the ammenities that Senior Citizens need. Also Big Pharma and Big Hospital is gonna have a ton of customers. Futures looking bright for this Area and Field 😎
Imagine quitting your job because your unhappy working there or because you're bored but then expecting your employer to keep paying your salary for the rest of your life.
My ex filed for divorce because I was boring and she wasn't happy anymore. Quite frankly, that was the best decision she ever made during our marriage. My life since the divorce 20 years ago has been calm, peaceful, and stress free. She lives with mother in Detroit, I retired to Europe. Life is good.
A total of 27 years together. I had just turned 20 a week before we met. At 47 she told me she just didn't love me anymore and wasn't happy. We had a 11 year old daughter at home, a nice old farmhouse and 10 acres over half paid for, I have a good job and benefits, she has a great carear and makes more money than I do. Everyone has good health, family, friends. I didn't leave and we stayed in the same house until the daughter graduated. She has moved out now and I'm buy this place all over again at 55. I don't trust women at all anymore.
One podcast has talked about this issue before, about female partners making more then their man. They stated that eventually the marriage/relationship falls apart. Because the woman is looking for something more, a man who makes more then her. It’s some sort of power dynamic. Honestly, I think western women have been sold such a bad bag of goods by feminism/female empowerment and corporations and banks. Single women, single women with children are money makers for businesses and push the feminist agenda. It’s really sad
@@seththomas9105 29 years and 11 months she filed for divorce, we was 3-4 having house and 5 ac paid for other than the mobile home ,I we .cleared the land and built barn and shop . There was no way I could start over buying the property after I put so much blood, sweat and tears into it, sold and started over paying for the new place as I go no rent no mortgage!, and she's with her mom . Oh well 🙂
@@seththomas9105 western women of all age groups are lost. They have been led astray for a long time. They now think and act like men. We are seeing the end results of all of this today.
Women are always dissatisfied. By design. Their dissatisfaction is what created civilization. Gullible men (like us) constantly try to make this creature happy, but it's all in vain. We work, build, invent, conquer, create, etc., in the hope that someday some woman will love us and be satisfied with us forever. That doesn't happen, of course. But like Charlie Brown getting duped by Lucy and her football, we keep trying. It doesn't work because it CAN'T work. Making a woman satisfied is impossible. You cannot overcome their innate programming. Paul McCartney couldn't do it. Johnny Depp couldn't do it. Brad Pitt couldn't do it. Why does anyone here think they can do it?
@@ma3stro681 You have to take the calls just in case it is about the kids. If it isn't, "Sorry, sounds like a you problem, I am sure you'll figure it out, bye"
The heavy payouts keep them out of sex work or are supposed to not that it does! All to do with the pretence of protecting women! Women are still able to abuse children by alienating them from their fathers or step fathers but sex work which more or less goes on in many marriages anyway is something that women must be protected from doing. Not that the market for mid 30s plus women is going to be all that great but it’s the only type of work many of them can do which ensures a lifestyle they crave. Many of the laws and statutes are very old and it takes a long time for the Law to evolve and before all this ‘liberation’ destroyed all the traditional male jobs with traditional male breadwinner salaries the term ‘working girl’ meant sex worker.
I got lucky or guess I'm just better at negotiating, followed my attorney's advice, she got no custody, I got the house. Her attorney suggested a family investigator I was very worried this person would take her side, but guess what? The CFI caught her in her lies and called her out and it really made me feel good. I knew she was a liar a cheater and being influenced by an enemy of our marriage, so called her best friend who abandoned her children and pretended like her woman boss independent life style was so glorious. I can guarantee she's not happy even if she is with another man. Has deep issues, wont even speak to her own parents out of shame and threatens them with restraining orders if they try to contact her. But remember it's all my fault.
Thats why prenups are not evil, hear me out, a lawyer said prenups keep the Gov. out of a marriage! Just like the church used to keep you in a marriage! So buddy find a girl who fears God, or you will fear the Government!
I crawled back in through the window, after she changed the locks on me. I went and talked to the sheriffs department and verified I could cut my way into my own home. She got home and I said I wasn’t leaving. She called the cops. I sat there and told them the same thing. She wanted them to remove me. They said “ we can’t remove him from his own house.” She left that night and had her own apartment.
Happened to me, after putting up with all kinds of abuse I was falsely accused of everything done to me, kicked out of my house. Hardly get to see my kids, moved her boyfriend in the next day I was kicked out. Trying to push me out of my kids’ lives. I lost my cat and dog, everything I’ve ever owned is gone. I was isolated from my dad, brainwashed by my mother to think being beaten by women was just part of being a man. Not allowed to not like it.
I have been married for 36 years to the same women. We have an incredible marriage. Two daughter, not the healthiest. Sometimes I think one of the benefits we have is that we had to fight hard for our children. In 202 we almost lost our youngest daughter. It was a dark time in our marriage. Neither of us ever wanted to leave. However, I brought up the subject because I know from my line of work (tax accountant) that these types of crises can cause divorce. Financially we have done very well. We came from poor stock and ended up in the 1%. I worked hard, saved, and invested. My wife worked some traditional work, but focused on raising our girls. The house is always clean and she is an incredible cook. In other words, she contributes plenty and I know it. It works for us. I play YT videos when I plug numbers at the office. Lately these relationship videos showed up in the feed so YT keep sending more. It has helped me realize how lucky I am. It also shows me how difficult relationships can be. I see it in my work life and online. Thank you for sharing your story. Be well.
It reminds me of all of the ‘50s era neurotic sneak drinking housewives who apparently couldn’t cope with staying home to keep house while socializing with all of the other bored housewives. Apparently that was too difficult for them.
Your ex-wife's friends and social media choices likely convinced her that YOU were the problem and that divorce was some solution. Our society is sick that way.
How about when you find out that she was calling her doctors brother for years before she left, HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN! Her doctor was one of the biggist Playboys in the hospital, so I guess he pimped out his patients!
💯@ the negative role social media plays in making women unhappy in their relationships or marriages. Like the saying goes, "comparism is the thief of joy"
@@Itwasme007 I know what you mean. I was almost there myself many times over the last year. 15 years five children we buried our third child together. She threw it all the way so she can go cheat with an old flame, multiple Old flames who all have children and families of their own so not only did she wreck her own home she wrecked other people's homes as well I should have known better she had at least 50 bodies before we met she was 23 at the time it was probably closer to 70 as her best friend told me 25 in the rule is multiply it by three but I was dumb and wanted a family more than anything she took everything from me once 1100 a month my oldest daughter hates my guts because of brainwashing from her mother. I hardly get to see any of my children.i made mistakes as we all do. But I would have loved her forever. She cheated on me with multiple men many times over the years that I just found out about. She even brought a pedophile around my children and my oldest caught her having sex three different times with this man whose son tried to molest my son 10 years previous and this is the man she wants to bring around my children. His wife died four days before I got my divorce papers and my oldest daughter looks strikingly like his dead wife. There are more even horrific details. I don't understand I would have loved her forever. And my kids are caught in the middle of this hell. I told my oldest son last night that if hell is real that I'm living in it
It happens because men get by so many things at once, because she has planned everything for months, maybe years. And she pull the rug. Also because the system allow it and they cripple men and take his kids
I always eye roll when I hear colleagues say "Happy wife = happy life!" No, happy wife means if she ain't happy then your day is going to be sheer hell.
That's always from the simps who are actually miserable as they're nothing more than slaves in their own house, or rather, HER house.The truth is this; NO wife = a happy life. I've been single for 24 years, and haven;t bothered with women, so I have peace, quiet and solitude to pursue my hobbies and interests. The only thing I miss is sex, but let's face it, that's fleeting and transitory at best. It most definitely is NOT worth selling your peace in return for the occasional bunk up.
Ways to predict that your wife is about to file for divorce: - Someone in her friend circle (sisterhood) recently got divorced. - She's reading the book Eat, Pray, Love. - She's on the phone with her mom and sister(s) a lot and you don't get to listen in on the conversations.
Yep, mine had an unhealthy attachment to her sisters. They believed in putting themselves first before their husbands. They wanted to control how we raised our children, spend our holidays, and whenever they came up with some idea for a trip or reunion, for my ex wife to drop everything at the momemt and run run off with them. She was constantly on the phone with them. When ever I would push back and tell her our inner circle was more important, I became the enemy. Her sisters would even encourage and enable affairs and divorce. 27 years I gave to this woman, I would have never left her, eventhough I was unhappy with her behavour, I honored my covenant with her, she divorced me with no good reason.
After my divorce from my ex, who suffers from BPD and possibly Covert Narcissist, parental alienation for 4 plus years, I am a different man. I have cut my expenses by 75%, no more drinking for me, I have not eaten out in 3 years cooking everyday. I have dramatically cut the money I pump into the local society as I have decided to not date. I am surely not the only one. Local economies will suffer due to men deciding to spend their time alone.
Or maybe beaus the men are now working for themselves and setting their own lives up, they will spend, spend and spend more on THEMSELVES this time around and enrich the town they are in since in the back of their mind they know this time around they will keep everything they build!!!
This is a great insight, and it fits with my own experience. When men are betrayed by their loved ones, the consequences are far reaching and societal. The man subconsciously feels that the whole community has betrayed him, by letting this happen to him. His commitment to the greater cause is challenged.
@@JohnSmithEx And who could blame him? He puts in sweat equity into his home, helps raise the kids, attends his wife and she gets bored, and decides to ruin him in more ways than one! So he goes to court thinking he's safe, and finds out the courts really are out to nail him and do so with lies and phony accusations from the ex and in truth, he IS RUINED! So who would blame a guy for thinking that after getting married and raising a family society at large does in fact go after him, and the courts kill off another man in divorce rape. Very common these days; happened to me as well. So really the community didnt help, and since he got ruined, why should he have any sense of commitment to a society that used him??
You are preaching to the choir, brother. Unfortunately, many women don't feel 'happy' unless a every changing 'minimum standard' is met. They are willing to throw away 80% of the 'happiness' to pursue that 20% of this 'happiness'. After attaining this 20% of this happiness and lost the 80% of this happiness they realize how empty they are.
And then men realize that life is nothing but a shit show for them so they just accept the fact that no one will ever care for them, they're on their own, and no one's coming to save the day, and history is just going to repeat
I even know of a guy who got married to a gorgeous woman 20 years his junior, they have a couple of kids, and she's been a witch the whole time, and she decides to divorce him and now she's getting $5,000 per month in alimony and she got the marital home. This was all a setup, she had this planned from the very beginning. This is pure evil.
😒 The Divorce is planned before the Engagement 💰 most men cannot fathom that they can pull a Long Con that can go for Decades, no one is going to believe it until it happens to them, but yeah thats total BS, what should have happened and it does happen but its rare: She simply grabs her stuff and leaves to be with her new second husband. But the First Husband gets to keep the house and his kids. Ive seen it happen on several occasions but its rare. Dont expect to get that deal.
@@TheHomeExpert5 called karma I bet he broke many nice less "gorgous" looking women's heart before her I bet some of them are still not over him now maybe childless or even got raped. I knew a guy that happened to him. Broke my heart because I was too hideous as he put it then I got raped and his pretty wife took his kids and his money I would have never done that to him I loved him but I was too ugly for this a hole. God is never Injust
My one and only ex is on hubs #3. It's amazing how women are able to reboot in life. Many just start over like it's a whole new life and the past just didn't happen. For me, and I think for most men, we have one long life story. A lot of our stories are the same. Worked, met a woman, got married, had children, dealt with divorce, got a dog, paid off all debts.
i went thru four wives in my lifetime, so i did try, but im glad to be free now, i never lost any of my properties nor anything substantial because it was all in my parents name so Ha! Ha! ✌😏🏡🏡🏡🌴🌴🌴🌴
My experience was quite different in that the divorce itself was a bigger celebration for me personally than the marriage ever was, it was the happiest day of my entire life. I went from being the plow horse for a crazy woman, who behaved the whole time like she did not even like me, I jumped through hoops indefinitely right from the time early on that I realized that there was no sense in attempting to have an intelligent discussion with someone who had the emotional maturity of a spoiled child in her terrible twos. Getting out of that marriage was like being born again and getting my life back, and yes it was virtually impossible to even consider making a similar commitment to another woman regardless of her perceived worth. The real shocker was the insanity of the family law “justice” system who not only attacked me personally but who wrote off the boat load of written evidence relating to the harm that the nut was doing to our children with her alienation intention, which there was no basis for in reality. She was just a delusional, psychotic sociopath who demonstrated to the gullible nut cases in family law that she was doing everything right when she was - in reality - the ex-wife from hell whose outrageous, malicious lies about me were taken as the gospel while my written summation of the facts, the truth about her conduct was nothing more to these morons than an ex-husband with anger management issues making up lies about this poor woman who was abused mentally, physically and emotionally for almost 15 years. Unimaginable…. She managed to clear the low bar to being confirmed to be a fit mother by not drowning one of the kids in the bath tub. The degree of delusion on the part of these family law cretins is completely unfathomable, this leads inevitably to alienation in time from their only sane parent. It took her six years…. In my case, one of my twin sons took his own life - not even 30 years old - after spending half of his life listening to the lies of a truly crazy bitch. It took the nutburger 6 years to reverse and delete the memory of a good hands on father who, despite the consistent abuse that I endured throughout the marriage, did everything with and for our four children 24/7/365. My only time away from my kids while married was to play hockey once or twice a week after I bathed them and put them to bed. If they were awake, their Dad was with them - walking them to school, taking them to their activities, taking them grocery shopping with me when they got old enough for that, cooking meals for them, especially weekend lengthy mornings when the Queen had to withdraw into her room to escape her husband and family despite all of the help that I was providing as she withheld sex as a measure of power and control over her domestic slave, no amount of compliance with her endless “honey do” lists could ever make this lunatic “happy”. Doubled your income while being abused by this insane woman? Double it again, do that and what is next? That’s right, double it again. Rinse and repeat, no amount of doubling will ever make her happy. There is no satisfying a deranged psychotic who believes that the sky is falling every minute of every day when her husband fails to double his income every five years. I lost nothing in the divorce, I got my life back and I called the shots in that life 24/7. Pure gold after the shit I was put through not only by an abusive sociopath but my the family law “justice” system who jumped aboard for good measure, hell they even made it legal for this woman - who could earn her own living as a physiotherapist - to extort $200,000 or half of the child support from the kids all while she was telling them that their Daddy was not paying the $400,000 in child support. If anyone told me that family law could be this fucked up, I would not have believed it in a million years. Like my crazy ex-wife, they accept no responsibility for their actions and inactions to the detriment of my innocent children, they have a man to blame for this misfortune - right? Absolute bullshit…. Once you experience it, there is no difficulty in holding all of these morons accountable for the damage that they are aiding their insane mother inflicting upon the four innocent children -er, I mean pawns. Now the surviving three children - damaged needlessly and senselessly by their cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs mother will suffer through the rest of their days as screwed up in their heads as their Mommy Dearest is, they will undoubtedly screw up their kids, who will bugger up their kids and the endless beat of the feminism drum will go on for another generation or two until deranged women getting their way craters western civilization. Anyone in denial will eventually catch up to this reality, and all that had to be done was to institutionalize the crazy bitch to protect the children from their insane mother - just like they did in the good old days when women who were not of sound mind got locked up for the sake of the children. Does this sound extreme to you? It is nothing more than common sense…. There will be a HUGE cost associated with believing women at all costs, it is getting so bad already that even many feminists can see the insanity in their own daughters in law…
@@robroy9870 too bad you didn't know Jesus well enough to read God's word. There is a passage in there that the apostle John says "it were better if man did not marry, but used this time to commune with God as to go through life with a wife will be troubles he has not known before. But for the sake of lust, a man should marry to keep from sinning. Bible says it right there. You're going to have troubles you know nothing about. Well now you know, and I'm very happy you came out of it unscathed, as it were.
They want revenge during the divorce. They are ruthless and don't care. "I sacrificed my body to have children - now he owes me" and "I supported him while he built his career - now he owes me". Family law is enabling these disgusting behaviors and mentality.
What part of her reasons are not true? Did her body actually improve because of having children? Did he not build his career while she helped him, or not? Was he he really stepping down from his career for staying at home with their children and keeping a household for them all, and why that arrangement in that case?
@@DNA350ppm So it's OK for her to take it out on the man that her body changed because of child birth? That's HIS fault? And it's OK for her to take revenge on him for working to support her and the family? A man can't just "step down" from his career and quit his job. There are bills to pay, dude!
You’d think having children in and of itself would be their reward and they need no further ‘payment’… Really shows who does and doesn’t care for their children.
And if men kept being as attentive and interested as before the honey-moon, then there would be far less families with a mother as the head, provider and protector.
@DNA350ppm, bullshit. I know plenty of men who earn all the money, come home do chore play, dote on their wives, and the wind up cucks and simps and she ends up taking the kids and leaving.
I was a groomsman in a wedding in 1992. The wedding and reception ended up costing in the neighborhood of $30K USD. That was in 1992 money, over $67K in 2024. The marrige lasted 10 years. What a waste of time and resources. One hell of a party tho'...
@seththomas9105 in my many relationships, some of the women were in love and if I'd asked, they'd have married me at the courthouse. Don't yiu think that many men lead with the wallet and the expensive wedding is just a bribe?
Your videos are great! I recently went through a divorce and I can completely relate to what you’re saying. My wife divorced me because she was unhappy. Initially she told me she wanted to get married and have a family, I told her that I wanted to get my career established first. She agreed, it took longer than I anticipated but I followed through on my promise. Shortly after our first child was born, she started drinking and picking fights with me. I thought it was just postpartum depression and she would come out of it. I really never thought she would divorce me. It’s been a rollercoaster the past few years, I’m joust hoping I can put this behind me and move on with my life. I’m tired of fighting and feeling like I’m not good enough. I appreciate your videos, I really do find solace in your messages. You are very wise and can articulate very well what I’m going through. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
This! This is the exact situation I hear from guys I know who’ve been through divorce. He was a hardworking man, well off, great dad but the wife was “unhappy”. And unhappy is a catch all term that women use to get out of marriages when they are tired of dealing with day to day life and the excitement and attention of the wedding has worn off. I’ve seen this exact pattern over and over and over. Thank you for this video.
Same here I think it’s becoming more obvious. Women love talking so much they tell on themselves on tik tok and RUclips😂., more and more men are dropping out. 2030 is gunna be hilarious 😂 got my popcorn 🍿 ready
That excuse, “I’m unhappy”, has been used for thousands of years by women. We were lucky that tough rules didn’t let them off easy for most of history. These last decades in history have made it so easy for women without removing any of the problems for men
When I heard Esther Patel talk about female sex drive it was shocking to hear her say that unlike men, who’s monogamous drive stays high on into old age, the female has a death of Eros at the alter. For her, she cannot desire what she has captured. We have these stereotypes in society that are just wrong. Females long portrayed as nurturing are psychologically incompatible with marriage. Hypergamy and monkey branching are evolutionary hard core to their nature. Thanks for mentioning its impact on divorced men. I truly feel unable to love again. I may find a woman but it will be transactional in my heart (and my nuts) and I’ll be ready to go in 10 minutes if she’s displays “unhappiness”
Not to mention menopause - a lot of women go through menopause and they no longer have a use for the husband. And when they get the house and half of the money that’s what they go for.
It is a kick in the nuts, the majority of women I have met are not happy. They dislike the world they are living in, and take it out on the men that love them, no matter how good a husband and provider they are.
They were told from birth that a "prince" was going to come along and make them happy forever. And if you can't live up to that, then they will keep looking.
I must be your doppelganger in so far as your exact words were mine when my wife left. Well loved, well taken care of etc. With women it seems as though it's never enough.
Spot on, as usual! My story is very similar, except no young children. Married 18 years (first wife died), paid all the bills, provided wonderful house, worked full-time in a stressful job and supported her when she wasn't working. Left me because she found me 'irritating'. The only difference from your story is that she didn't decide she wanted divorce until 11 years afterwards, and then she hit me with it on the very day during the pandemic when I was closest to despair. Broke my heart--twice. So no more marriage--ever.
Going through my separation and I don’t know how I’m able to smile and keep a positive attitude at work it’s such a betrayal it hurts. But exercise and watching your videos has drastically helped me out soooo much. Thank you.
@@cheezinhoweree yep same happened with me 15 years in five kids and we've been buried our third child together. Her mom passed away before I met her so her aunt was like a surrogate mom to her. Between her aunt and her best friends they all helped her plan this for probably at least a year maybe more before she actually pulled the trigger. The whole time all of them were smiles and how are you doing and niceties meanwhile knowing what they were all getting ready to do to me and my children. I'll never forgive them eventually I would possibly be able to forgive my ex-wife but not her aunt and not her friends. They knew God damn well what they were doing. Most of her friends are divorced horrible miserable f****** b******so they could all be miserable together. Well I hope they have a whole lot of fun being single and lonely the rest of their lives. Because we all know the best place to get marriage advice is from a bunch of divorced old biddies.
For women in their 20's and early 30's - the drive to reproduce is strong, they want to meet "their child", and a man is a necessary part to get to that goal. See it repetitively, - meet a guy, settle in, perhaps one pregnancy, get married before that arrives, have another child, then think about getting out with two kids in less than 5 years. Poor poor man who thought she loved him
All valid points. No fault divorce empowered women to misbehave...and get paid for it! Insanity! Thanks for helping others to negotiate and avoid catastrophe.
"Happiness" was not and is not a part of any wedding vow. Prior to feminism, wive and husbands knew that happiness is for children, as adulthood is long, hard and tiresome with occasional bouts of happiness if you are lucky. The modern fee male rides on the roller coaster of emotions, happiness being paramount. Once that ends.....your marriage ends. I have no sympathy for any man who gets married today. You have seen 3 generations and counting of marital enslavement via divorce.
I put my ex through 5-years of university but she couldn’t find a job (where we lived) and decided to move out for a job a 3-hour drive away. Saw her on weekends until a year and a half later she filed for divorce. Claimed she was unhappy and that I wasn’t “there for her”. Then she told me she considered herself to be like a “princess” and she was entitled to anything she wanted and that she never intended to stay married to me from the beginning. Literally called me a sucker. Lost my house and car and the $150K I spent on her education. Never again
John, the similarities in our lives and marriage are insanely similar! My wife had it all and she blew it up! Now I live in peace with my two daughters…
A lot of women need adult supervision 24/7. They depend on their feelings as facts and act upon them ignoring common sense. Avoid and run when you see the Red Flags.
@@mikesolns1364 In Iran they had the women's no boundaries movement going on, but that ended because the UK&USA came to f up the country, and so it later became very conservative. Now they may get a women's no boundaries movement going again semi soon, it's possible. They had better keep their conservative system, because give an inch, everything is lost. So it is when wimin get to set the rules.
Your video struck very deeply with me. I am going through the divorce process right now and I had the wife speak about "happiness" thing. I am a person who has always tried to teach my children to find happiness in the little things. I gave my whole life to my wife and kids and now she has half of all my hard work, and I see my kids half time. All because of her unhappiness that she never spoke about till she started her affair. Great video.
Hey John You are spot on. My wife projected so much hate on me when she left me, after I had given her everything. My wife never has told me what I did wrong. She ghosted me with no reason for leaving after 20 years of marriage. I'am now single at 55.
The woman actually has to have real feelings of absolute googoo gaga love for you. She has to literally ADORE you if she's gonna stay and be submissive
My wife was prescribed by several different specialist doctors anti-depression medicines. Three different kinds. She took all three of the same time. The results were that she became indifferent and decided to divorce me.
John, you nailed it! My ex's "happy state" and mental issues were not my responsibility. Yet she literally ruined my life because of her "issues".
2 месяца назад+23
I’ve heard it said that the 2nd happiest day of a man’s life is his wedding day, while the happiest day is his divorce day. No wife=happy life is the new norm.
Actually the day after we got married it was OK. Skipped wedding day. It changed the level of commitment for me at least. Meanwhile she's lining up disasters and obstacles while I'm trying to keep my shit together. When the judge approved the divorce I had the most uncanny level of happiness on my face while she remained "miserable" for her friends. I'm out of here!!!
It has occurred to me (and no doubt to others) that the hype, hoopla and hullabaloo of a big wedding day is ramped up by silly films, also the whole idea of 'romanticism' is something that should be left alone from the age of maybe 11. Getting the bills paid and running the children around is not a romantic activity!
I remember my first time being a ring bearer around kindergarten or so. Even then, I thought marriage was a bad idea. The fact that so many grown-ups aren't smarter than a kindergartener baffles me!
As a child, I too wondered how you can be absolutely certain somebody is "the one" for you.. as an adult, guess you realize as gals dawn on 30, that's when they merely shrug somebody is their best option.
@davidglad "the one" never made sense to me either. The one would mean that I'd never have an appetite for variety because I found the only one God put on this earth for me. Absolutely blasphemy.
I know of at least 10 men who have gone through the same thing, being good husbands and then the wife gets unhappy. Part of this is a result of the wife speaking to their friends and family whom all have a negative attitude toward the husband. Mostly it's because of jealousy. I have heard of multiple accounts that at the divorce trial the wives would accuse their husbands of molesting the children. It seems that this is a common tactic implemented by these evil attorneys in order to paint the husband with disdain and win the settlement.
😒 we live in a stange Dystopian Era, Divorce is the norm and encouraged, and theres a whole super structures of friends and family and society that support it as well. Even most guys support it as well. Just look around you tube and most guys will promote it and talk down to any guy that wants to buck the system.
@TheHomeExpert5 The wife's attorney actually recommend such tactics to the wife if she's unaware of the strength of the accusations. It's a silver bullet in their arsenal. That, and claims of Domestic Abse.
As a man thats never married and just played the field his entire life . Its glowingly apparent to me that my choice to avoid being bound & shackled to an individual woman is pure genius ( even if i do say so myself) . I was a child of divorce and saw how desperately unhappy married couples were from a young age ( fighting about everything life throws all the time , was the bell ringer for me ) i have lost count of the amount of women i have had sexual relations with , nor do i care to remember. I just know that as soon as the signs of control/demands/conflict arose , i packed my bags got in my truck and headed onto new horizons. The only minor regret is no kids , but knowing from my own childhood that kids are tools to be used as emotional & financial leverage, it was best to avoid that incumberance . I only made this comment to share from my experience and in no way offer my experience as a form of advice . ( Horses for courses men , Drones for beehives, and freedom for those willing to sacrifice certainty) See ya in the next life !
Your description of your marriage is almost a mirror as mine. Which has made my divorce really hard to bare. But your videos have made me piece it together and has boosted my efforts to heal from this. Thank you.
I get it! I heard this expression today, that really sank in. “ It takes 6 men to carry you to your grave, and one woman to put you there “. I’ve been struggling with an unfaithful wife, for about ten years now. I found out about her affair, and told her that I knew about it. She started blaming me for her not being happy, while I was working 10 to 20 hours overtime, and renovating our home. I just couldn’t believe that she could do this to me!!! I tried to work it out with her, but it just wasn’t enough. All these different excuses were coming up why she wouldn’t have sex with me. It was a short time before I found out that she never ended her affair. I left for six months, and it was heartbreaking every time I came back to see the kids. She asked me to stay, so I moved back home, but it’s never been the same. That was 8 years ago, and I’ve lived through being disrespected, and only having sex twice. Throughout this time, I’ve been thinking about a strategy to leave, cause everything I’ve worked for, doesn’t seem to matter. I’m 58, and I’m so confused, but I’m hoping that there’s something better out there for me.
@stevenbongiorno9277 1. Your marriage is done. There's no fixing it once a woman cheats; they cheat on a emotional level first and not the physical like us guys. 2. Get a paternity test on your kids ASAP. Who knows how long she's been cheating on you. 3. If your wife is still fertile, STOP having martial activities with her. She may try to put another man's baby on you. One way or another this is going to end in divorce. Best of luck to you in your future fight to be in your children's lives.
It won’t ever change, mine gave me I’m unhappy speech and I tried to work it out knowing I’d be in the same shoes again at some point and two years later here I am. I regret sticking around losing time I could have used to live and get things in order.
It’s hard moving on brother. I’m 5 years divorced and you have to accept it’s long over and revert back to how you were before you met, when you were about your dreams and goals. It’ll get easier but you mustn’t dwell on the negative. Best of luck
Listen, I found the perfect woman and she was a living Angel for several years. Until she became unhappy and got hooked on prescription meds and decided to divorce me, her mother turned against me and her adult daughter whom I had helped out throughout the years also turned on me
@john-griffin until recent times, not enough men's support communities.. but of course many of us are also stubborn to reality for the longest time, but then gals act surprised how easily we can walk away once we do see the light
Dude you literally are in my exact position in everyway possible. We have had the exact same experiences and think exactly the same. Its like watching myself.
8 . I was very confused when she told me she was unhappy and wanted a trial separation. 15 years of making decisions together , make a life and family together , give and take all the way through, how is it possible to then be unhappy with our outcomes. I questioned everything ,including did this person ever really love .
I spent 10 years married. She was unhappy. She thought jumping in bed with another man would solved her misery. She demanded a divorce and I filed. She tried to come back and negotiate. I had her out of the house and it was peaceful with her being gone. I knew if I allowed her back in the house she would be even more hateful towards me and our kids. I got the divorce done quickly and custody of our kids. She hates me more than ever. Our kids are grown now and I went No Contact many years ago. I am still relieved she is gone and someone’s else’s problem.
It was in actual fact marriage that exiled me. Nobody can stand my ex including her own family and there was no way to have any social life with her on board. We're going through a divorce that she filed for right now and I've been out socializing and forcing myself to yes to every invite for a happy hour, dinner, or party. I feel like I'm just now coming out of exile! I'm also reconnecting with my family. My sisters were all overjoyed that I am getting away from her and I'm getting to know my nieces and nephews that stayed away because of her. Both of my grown sons are happy with this decision and my Daughter in Law likes that I'll be available to help with Grandkids without getting my ex involved. My soon to be ex has driven everyone else out of her life and now she's driven me out. Oh well. Good luck.
I tried taking us to Church to feel a sense of belonging and comfort my son in his pathway to navigate and make sense of life through Jesus Christ and she demanded we stop going because she felt constantly judged by other women there who were traditional women and since she was an educated person she felt she was constantly being frowned upon so the only social outlet and support network we had she took away from us. Prime definition of no accountability. But remember it's all my fault!
@@princenwankwo9457 That is the question that I'm really trying to figure out. I certainly own part of this and apparently made some real bad decisions.
Divorce saved my life. I love my freedom. She is someone else's problem. Yeah, being homless, divorce court, losing everything, losing self-confidence and alienation from kids sucked, from now on, nothing in my life can be compared to that betrayal and suffering. I am bulletproof. Nothing gets me down any more. I am rebuilding my life the way i want. I have experiences, jobs, people that i could never have when i was married. I went into exile and moved 1000 miles away. There are no phone calls from the ex. Clean break.
I saw an interesting video of US special forces selection, men and women soldiers together, where only a tiny proportion of them would pass because it was so tough. Those hoping to be selected were given a test. They believed that their sergeant fumbled a live grenade which fell to the ground. Three or four men fell on the grenade to prevent their fellow soldiers being blown up. The women in the selection group ran away. This, to me, represents a metaphor for what you're saying.
I read that the women who graduated from Ranger School, were given a much easier experience being that they were female and the Army wanted bragging rights at any cost. But vets who are Rangers are sickened....
Interesting. I work offshore North Sea and the industry is recruiting more and more females. Invariably, they're essentially workshy, useless diversity hires, constantly giggling and flirting with beta males who hang round them for crumbs, like flies round a camel's arse. A gifted, easy existence simply because nature gifted them a pair of tits and a flange.
I'm a woman (not married) and I relate to this personally and from hearing testimonies of coworkers who are divorced. In my last relationship my ex was constantly unhappy and anxious. Every week there would be a list given to me in terms of what he was unhappy about what I was doing or not doing in the relationship (yes, a man was doing this). I'm a conflict avoided somewhat so this made me super uncomfortable and I didn't understand it as just basic companionship makes me so happy I don't need much else. Although this type of behaviour is more common in women, it happens in men too. And the same goes in terms of women out there who are more "chill" and wouldn't pull the rug under you. These women exist, the same way that the naggy unhappy bf or husband also exists. I hope we all heal from this, and spirituality is brought back into our society. These problems stem from the vapid and empty existence in modern life. The lack of meaning in our lives.
Well said ! i am 83 going on second marriage 43 yr happy but share most of your experiences from the first marriage. I enjoy listening to you ! Helpful to many ! Thanks for all you do ! Love the dogs !
67 married 45 years to the second wife, an intelligent, logical, emotionally mature woman, I relize that she is somewhat of a unicorn, I still carry the scars, from the betrayal, paternity fraud, and separation from my child. At least I have gotten to see my exes life crumble, as 2 more good men divorced her and her children keep their distance from her. Could of definitely used Johns message 47 years ago. Let's hope other young men hear his message before their life gets screwed up.
I was suspicious that my wife was a narcicist so 3.5 years ago, I began a study narcicsm with Dr. Sam Vaknin and Richard Grannon being the 2 main contributors of my studies. After 3 years, I am no expert but had learned enough to suit my needs. I began studying modern women in general. It only took me a week to realize that the two topics were related very closely. Same nomenclature, same actions, same relationship problems, same bad behaviour, same lack of accountability or responsibility; even the same female rhetoric no matter what country or language.
I stumbled across this video by accident as I was browsing. I seldom comment on videos I see, but this one was so close to my experience and the understanding of it that I’ve come to know that I must compliment you on it. Been there, done that, felt it. I could not have said it any better.
4:36 therein lies the problem. I was having a lite argument with the wife and she rattles off the small mundane tasks that she claimed bothered here bc they weren't being done regularly. I told her "I could do all of that but ultimately it will not change your behavior and once I removed these symptomatic issues she would have to confront the true source of her unease". Today I do those things that once bothered her but now there is a new set of things that cause the unease. We're not on a path to divorce but she needs balance between work, her mind and body and then she can present her best self. I'm here in support.
@@SKBottom Already reached that summit and came back down the mountain. I wasn't a good man...I got my health in check, hit the gym and restored my masculinity. She could for sure leave but my stock has risen and will continue to rise so I'd be ok either way.
The wife over here complained about everything but refused to help me with our kids and chores. When she found an affair partner, she left us. Reality hit her hard when she realized that her new lover boy was an alcoholic on dialysis. She tried coming back. I said No. I filed for divorce and got custody of our kids and our new home. Good luck to all.
I know a fella who's wife wanted a divorce and all the cash it brings, then a few years later calls up asking him repair the boiler. My advice was to remind her they're divorced, put the phone down, and continue the day.
No, the answer is to block her number, never speak with her again, and leave her to the consequences of her actions. Men need to stop coddling woemyn … 😎
@@ma3stro681 they're the generation who don't use mobile phones, and it's not possible to block landlines. Good natured men have always been manipulated.
Baby, you said your were unhappy so I sold our opulent cars and house - were moving into a studio apartment - now you have something to be unhappy about.
When you were a little boy, there were things you could do for hours until after it was late and dark, and it made you perfectly content. Then puberty hit and women took the stage. For many, success after this point would be things like business, career or even hobbies which would be but a front for making the woman happy which, by proxy, would make the man worthy of love. Is this chemistry, social engineering or something else? No matter what is the real reason or combination thereof, I would propose we backtrack a step or two and once more question what is success, happiness and being content is to us, really. Maybe we've been successful in many different things already up to this point and that little voice in the back of our heads which whispers "you need to do more to be worthy" is not our voice after all? P.S. - I didn't wait for her to do the move as I could see it from a mile away. They really do tell you everything if you listen. And you better fucking believe it!
It’s hard enough to actually go THROUGH the divorce, but lord have mercy on any man who is set up for the worst outcomes by a the ex wife. They have so much power to plan your downfall, which is why men need to be careful and pay attention to how she behaves in the marriage.
if your married its already too late, theres not much you can do but quietly retain a lawyer and plan your own downfall, its still better than to be complacent and to be blindsided
6:21 “There’s this big climax after marriage, kids, etc… Reality sets in” this hit me hard! I never thought about it like that, but i think you nailed it! I had a similar experience with my ex wife, it’s left me scratching my head 4 years later till just now! Thank you John, appreciate you sharing your experience. 🙏
Guys I‘m 32 now, never had a long relationship, kinda just working and enjoying life I‘d say, all my life I kinda felt incomplete never having a long, meaningful relationship with a woman. All the bros telling their stories and I just cant tell any of mine. The last couple years I start to realize that I probably didn’t miss out on much, most of my friends relationships came to an end eventually and some friends needed real help after the breakup. More than enough times Ive seen what it had done to my friends, the confusion and disappointment, the day prior she loved you, the next day ur out. My mom and dad haven’t lived together since 25 years btw, its exactly how your video says, he was exiled. Guess I did everything right, staying single internationally or unintentionally.
The biggest predicament is for men who get lonely and want much company. Bros before 304s. Bros stay, wimin come and leave, so best to keep one's own friend circle alive and in the center.
I've been in just a few relationships, and none of them lasted very long. At first, I felt just like you, wondering why, what was the problem with me, etc. But seeing the way things are now, I actually feel relieved. Compared to some friends, I came out relatively unscathed. I don't have kids, don't have to pay alimony...2 ½ years single and I couldn't be happier.
Don't ever "keep" a woman. If a woman leaves you and regrets it do not give her a second of your time when she calls you and tells you she is still not happy.
John, this is a timely video, as today has been harder than most. Just ruminating on the falsified court ordered separation, today’s got me down. This echoes most of my feelings today. My experience is much like yours, with the exception that when I drove off one day to take care of my dead grandmothers house, my spouse drove to a lawyers office to write a fiction piece to put in front of a judge to have me thrown out of my house and temporarily remove my rights as a father to my son. After it was proven she lied, my parental rights were restored. However, I’ve lost my family. Due to a stupid mistake, the lives of two people are forever altered and the life of one destroyed. I didn’t know what I was doing when I got married. That I was signing my life away. I wish I did. No one told me how horrifying this can be. I would never get married in this country. You would have to be insane to go through with it, if you know. My spouse has alienated me from my son. I only have him 15% of the time. The people who cared about me are gone. I have no good reason to be here anymore. I will continue my obligation as a father for the next 6 years, but it is so, so hard to trudge onward. I can’t stress enough of how broken I feel. The facade of a 20 year relationship, gone. Poof. The ability to trust anyone, gone. But I’m forced to continue to work to support 2 households, my son, and some unsavory, ungrateful 150 lb individual. Eternal peace will be welcome when I’m granted it. Our country, a corporation in itself, is incentivizing and fostering divorce as it is a boon to the economy to finance two households. My spouse spends money like a drunken sailor, unchecked, that alone will boost Wall Street. The country couldn’t care less about my life, as long as it can suck money out of it. Thanks John, take care everyone, and always stay single.
I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. Keep letting go of her and what she did. Use this time to make yourself happy again. Enjoy being single again and rediscovering who you are.
Second comment…THIS IS YOUR BEST VIDEO!!! 🙏 Your ability to articulate yourself and explain the facts and feelings of so many of us is truly a gift. I’m blown away! 🤯
My ex wife left me and said she knew how to speak tongues. Gave ma a list of damandes that I refused to do. Served me divorce papers. I started seeing other women and then justified the divorce saying I cheated on her. It was 20 years ago, i will never sign a legal contract with another woman again. Thank you for your insight.
Also, I have multiple motorcycles now that treat me good, provide me joy and won't threaten or leave me. And having physical interactions with a woman that is like a 5 gallon bucket of warm water isn't worth the risk .
Thanks John for vocalizing this experience. It can be brutal on men. I gave my heart and soul to my family, my wife, everything. I never expected after 17 years along with 3 kids this other person would stab me in the back like she did. I blame her, I blame our court system that encourages this sort of thing - you can exile him, take the house, take the kids and he can pay for it all. She was always a bipolar unhappy narcissist, it didn't matter the great life she had, that I provided for, nothing was ever good enough. I recall her making horrible comments about our neighbors and thinking, wow, you really are sick. I thought I could fix her, surely these must just be periods of anxiety. The last 6 months were hell on me. I recall crying in remorse and asking her, why would you throw everything away? Why would you destroy everything? Well, because she could, and she wasn't happy and obviously it's because of him, and our society and courts encourage her to do so. Now I did remarry, I felt like a fish out of water and I guess I felt the need to jump back into the frying pan. Now that has been quite a ride, some of it good, some of it not so good. My wife now is pretty bat shit crazy, if I were to have it to do over again I'd have stayed single. But I'm stuck now since I'm sure she could and would take me to the cleaners if I wanted to part ways. The betrayal and knife in back from first wife changed me to a large degree. I can no longer trust, I can't trust my second wife, she is not allowed to see my financials. I made it clear if married I will not be your open bank account. My divorce was thru the 2007 recession, I lived thru paying ungodly spousal support, new house going underwater, job loss, you name it. Somehow I lived thru this, but it has changed me, mostly for the better. I no longer take shit from anyone, especially the current wife. And I'm not going to say "I'm sorry" a hundred times like I did with the first wife. I'm sorry you are bat shit crazy, you should work on that. Well, not in those words, but that's what I'm thinking. ;) Want to go on a vacation? That's great, have fun, I'm not going with ;) So, yes, be careful guys. John, enjoy your single life ;)
John, by far the best thing for you and for most men are your, and their furry companions! Total loyalty and love.❤😊 Plus, a great walking, running, whatever companion.
They are great. I’ve been told by my daughter that I need to start training for a 10K. They will run with me and love it. You couldn’t ask her anymore.
I am 55 and never got married. Instead, I developed a career as a consultant in test automation architecture and earned six master's degrees over 24 years. I am now working on a PhD in AI/ML for healthcare at Arizona State while working full-time. Stories like this post along with the plethora of subscriber comments make me glad I never rushed into it. I often joke "Marriage is just something that those grown-ups do. Someday when I grow up maybe I'll do it - lol." The numerous train wrecks of failed marriages are truly frightening. I knew a former marital therapist in FL who said the concept of a perfect marriage is like trying to go undefeated in SEC football. Most people aren't able to do it.
Exiled and still paying! Excellent analysis John, especially the part where, because of OUR deep level of commitment, we feel a profound sense of betrayal from her but also society through the courts that makes us feel totally used up and spit out - left for homelessness unless we work really hard to get ourselves out of this mess. Afterwards it's hard to believe that anyone cares about us at all. My ex planned it all from the start and pulled the plug when it was most convenient for her. She photocopied all my financials and threatened to go to the IRS if I gave her too much trouble. She had a PhD. She wanted it all her way and "compromise" was not a big word in her vocabulary. Wish I'd know then what I've been learning from you now. Never again. Thank you John! BTW I really appreciate that you can still make me laugh!!
She was a narcissist. Same as mine. The anxiety she couldnt talk about to you was that she was lying to you. Same as mine. Ive watched a number of your videos and its uncanny how similar your story is to mine and I believe the common denominator is that we were both married to covert narcissists. You can set your watch to the way they behave which is why it is so important for young men to understand these personality disorders because they are difficult to spot when you are blinded by your hormones and lust. These women can and will destroy you without you seeing it coming. Cant emphasize enough how dangerous narcissists are.
It's not a Disorder, this is normal healthy behavior for the Gender, of course its more intense when there is a Pathology. The only exceptions are Muses and Unicorns but they are Rare and an Anomoly in the world and they dont really affect the Statistics.
@@Dan.50 🙂 correct, i wish the Narcissist Psychology channels would correct their thinking but they are dead set that its a genetic disorder, i guess because they want to legitimize their Licenses and Degrees in the Field. And too many naive people believe them.
Thank you John. I am a single woman in my 40s living in Africa. These talks are giving me a lot of self awareness and are helping to understand the other side of marriage that people do not talk about. What you have said about women getting addicted to the build up of the wedding and then failing to deal with the reality of just living as a married couple is true.
A man sacrifices his happiness for his family. A woman sacrifices her family for her happiness.
Many men marry to impress other men with "a gorgeous woman", as somebody wrote here. Then, after making this superficial choice, he is bewidered that she wants a divorce!
I'm sorry, what did he think!?
Lots of great husbands on the planet, Civilian soldiers holding up society. When you get with a woman under 50 she is a teenager. Life is too easy.
@@rpr325 dissatisfaction is a hall mark for the cosseted set; it is one of their character glitches
Boy, you nailed that on the head.
(WHY are women so unhappy? Because they ARE. Period.)
Boy, you nailed that on the head.
(Why are women unhappy? Because they are. Period.)
Men: Til death do us part.
Women: Til death do us part as long as I’m happy.
Exactly
It's very common now. It's crazy realizing that I can never be in a relationship.
"I don't believe in divorce". Until I'm unhappy and leave you with our kids for the new guy who is perfect.
and they are NEVER happy.
And what about, "For richer or poorer, good times and bad, sickness and health, to love and cherish from this day forward?"
"Me not happy" was reason for my divorce, 18 years , 4 kids. stay at home mom . now she happily works night shifts .
Lmao
She didn’t find Prince Charming 2?
Good.
17 years, 2 kids, dog, SUV, 1 block from the golf course, 2 vacations a year, financially supported her family, never laid hands on her, loved her without being loved back and now she lives alone in a rented condo and works full time for $20 an hour.
There ya go.
Hi John, I am 58 years now, when I look back my whole life has been dogged by unhappy women. It starts with your mother she’s not happy. Then you go to school and the teachers aren’t happy. Then you start dating and girlfriends aren’t happy. Then you start work and the women at work aren’t happy. Then you decide to get married and your wife isn’t happy. Then you get divorced and your ex-wife still isn’t happy. At 55, I decided to forget women and enjoy being single so for the first time in my life the last three years has been fantastic without any hassle or stress. Society leads us to believe that the answer to happiness is to be with a woman. I’ve never met a happy woman yet, so that theory doesn’t work. A man cannot make a woman happy. Greater man than me have tried and failed. Great video thank you! Alan
I think you nailed it on the head. There are some great observations. But you are absolutely right.
@@john-griffin Thanks for your great reply John. You mentioned that your wife has called you a few times and has been crying on the phone. My uncle who lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, divorced his wife and she used to call him crying on the phone, because she was sorry, so in a moment of weakness he gave in and they started seeing each other again. She then fell pregnant and they decided to get married again for the baby’s sake. To cut a long story short, they are getting divorced for the second time. Don’t have a moment of weakness John, it’s an expensive mistake!!
@@john-griffinEven Brad Pitt has been married and divorced twice. So if Brad Pitt can’t make a woman happy, what chance have the rest of us got! 😂😂😂
If Channing Tatum can't.... I can't....
You can apply that to people in general. Friends, family, women. Just hurts more when you’re more emotionally tied to them.
My Dad always told me that when it comes to marriage "the first 50 years are the toughest."
Hahaha… turn your probably dead. 😂
@@theglobalvagabond3074 some other good bits of advice. Check her relationship with her father and her siblings. That will tell you alot. Also are you able to have an honest conversation with yourself and ask how much/high is the princess factor? Also fellas if you see signs of a Tomboy that still has femininity that gets on well with her dad, mum and brothers those to my mind are big green flags. It means she can find her own joy in life, perhaps possesses perspective and stoicism other good traits. She is a bit like a man but is still is a woman. She will see it as a partnership and you are in it together.
@@Burrows24 I'm divorced and remarried. Interesting take on the relationship with parents/dad and siblings and a little feminine tomboy mixed in. No man needs a princess.
Lol
As a young man I had a long time girlfriend tearfully say to me, "I don't know how to love you". I was bewildered by this confession. It took some time to process what she really meant. What she meant was I can't manipulate, change and eventually destroy you. Exactly what she did to the poor guy she eventually married. Happily still single.
😏 my last wife was a real snake, when she was ready to leave me she started smirking and giggling like a little witch and told me 'Sam, to be honest with you I never loved you' , dam she got me good, and she walked out with my Son 🐍
My x divorced me, no reason provided. Basically she couldn't get me under the thumb and I also made her fully aware I could see right through her nonsense during the "marriage". I basically outsmarted her. But boy is she making me pay now, with the might of the system propping her up.
She was also saying that she didn't love you.
@@MrSamadolfoincreasing numbers of them are gonna wind up growing old alone and unloved with a dozen cats and relying on boxed wine and head scripts to get by.
@@benstandard 😏 i can see a bright future for investments in Senior Homes and Assisted Living and Nurses and all the ammenities that Senior Citizens need. Also Big Pharma and Big Hospital is gonna have a ton of customers. Futures looking bright for this Area and Field 😎
Imagine quitting your job because your unhappy working there or because you're bored but then expecting your employer to keep paying your salary for the rest of your life.
Now imagine that employer paid for everything you had and didn't expect you to work.
Alimony is the biggest farce that I've ever seen a government impose on anyone.
Our politicians get that in NZ after a term or 2 in office & for the taxpayer, it stinks..
@@tylerhatch8962 And they also had a bad attitude to the employer. Complained constantly and made snarky comments to them.
SPOT ON! Reality FOR MEN today
My ex filed for divorce because I was boring and she wasn't happy anymore. Quite frankly, that was the best decision she ever made during our marriage. My life since the divorce 20 years ago has been calm, peaceful, and stress free. She lives with mother in Detroit, I retired to Europe. Life is good.
Yeah, same thing here and I'm getting ready to retire in SE Asia. I'll be island hopping during my retirement years.
Same here...except she's brainwashed MY Kids.
@@DouglasNicholson-ff6ep That is an issue for sure. Fortunately for me, I got sole custody.
Love to hear success stories from us men
You all must be rich... retire in europe???? get real
A total of 27 years together. I had just turned 20 a week before we met. At 47 she told me she just didn't love me anymore and wasn't happy. We had a 11 year old daughter at home, a nice old farmhouse and 10 acres over half paid for, I have a good job and benefits, she has a great carear and makes more money than I do. Everyone has good health, family, friends. I didn't leave and we stayed in the same house until the daughter graduated. She has moved out now and I'm buy this place all over again at 55. I don't trust women at all anymore.
One podcast has talked about this issue before, about female partners making more then their man. They stated that eventually the marriage/relationship falls apart. Because the woman is looking for something more, a man who makes more then her. It’s some sort of power dynamic. Honestly, I think western women have been sold such a bad bag of goods by feminism/female empowerment and corporations and banks. Single women, single women with children are money makers for businesses and push the feminist agenda. It’s really sad
@@seththomas9105 29 years and 11 months she filed for divorce, we was 3-4 having house and 5 ac paid for other than the mobile home ,I we .cleared the land and built barn and shop . There was no way I could start over buying the property after I put so much blood, sweat and tears into it, sold and started over paying for the new place as I go no rent no mortgage!, and she's with her mom . Oh well 🙂
It's because she made more than you. That changes everything in her mind.
@@seththomas9105 western women of all age groups are lost. They have been led astray for a long time. They now think and act like men. We are seeing the end results of all of this today.
@@TheDarkHorseRides Yep, I have found that out.
Your wife wasn’t happy in marriage. Now she’s unhappy that she’s divorced. Bro, nothing and no one can make that woman happy.
Their never happy
I think you are exactly right
@@john-griffinStop taking calls from her. Block her. You’re not her emotional tampon anymore. Leave her to be miserable alone …
Women are always dissatisfied. By design. Their dissatisfaction is what created civilization. Gullible men (like us) constantly try to make this creature happy, but it's all in vain. We work, build, invent, conquer, create, etc., in the hope that someday some woman will love us and be satisfied with us forever. That doesn't happen, of course. But like Charlie Brown getting duped by Lucy and her football, we keep trying. It doesn't work because it CAN'T work. Making a woman satisfied is impossible. You cannot overcome their innate programming. Paul McCartney couldn't do it. Johnny Depp couldn't do it. Brad Pitt couldn't do it. Why does anyone here think they can do it?
@@ma3stro681 You have to take the calls just in case it is about the kids. If it isn't, "Sorry, sounds like a you problem, I am sure you'll figure it out, bye"
When a wife gets 'buyer's remorse' not only does she get her money back, she gets your money back.💰💰💰
That is so true. They are shoppers to the end and they want the best deal possible. That means they want everything!
The heavy payouts keep them out of sex work or are supposed to not that it does! All to do with the pretence of protecting women! Women are still able to abuse children by alienating them from their fathers or step fathers but sex work which more or less goes on in many marriages anyway is something that women must be protected from doing. Not that the market for mid 30s plus women is going to be all that great but it’s the only type of work many of them can do which ensures a lifestyle they crave. Many of the laws and statutes are very old and it takes a long time for the Law to evolve and before all this ‘liberation’ destroyed all the traditional male jobs with traditional male breadwinner salaries the term ‘working girl’ meant sex worker.
How true!!!
I got lucky or guess I'm just better at negotiating, followed my attorney's advice, she got no custody, I got the house. Her attorney suggested a family investigator I was very worried this person would take her side, but guess what? The CFI caught her in her lies and called her out and it really made me feel good. I knew she was a liar a cheater and being influenced by an enemy of our marriage, so called her best friend who abandoned her children and pretended like her woman boss independent life style was so glorious. I can guarantee she's not happy even if she is with another man. Has deep issues, wont even speak to her own parents out of shame and threatens them with restraining orders if they try to contact her.
But remember it's all my fault.
Why are women so heartless and lacking compunction when it comes to ruining a man's life?
Im a woman and totally agree with you....marriage these days is a sham. Anything the government gets involved in is a mess. No government!
Huh?
What's worse are "No fault" states that promote degenerate behavior and protect the scummiest people. You cheat on your spouse you get nothing.
Thats why prenups are not evil, hear me out, a lawyer said prenups keep the Gov. out of a marriage! Just like the church used to keep you in a marriage! So buddy find a girl who fears God, or you will fear the Government!
@@andrewharchar891 Yes on the fearing God woman. On the prenups you're in for an unpleasant surprise if you believe that attorney
@@mikesolns1364In America prenups may be nullified but in many or most countries around the world they are completely binding.
I'll never forget the day the locks were changed on me...and the hellish years afterwards. I'll never forgive it.
I crawled back in through the window, after she changed the locks on me. I went and talked to the sheriffs department and verified I could cut my way into my own home.
She got home and I said I wasn’t leaving. She called the cops. I sat there and told them the same thing. She wanted them to remove me. They said “ we can’t remove him from his own house.” She left that night and had her own apartment.
@@KrummyProductions God damn....trying to crawl back into your own place is WILD
@@KrummyProductions This is when they pull the domestic violence claptrap on a guy to force him out of his own place.
@@KrummyProductions In some states they can remove you from your home.
Happened to me, after putting up with all kinds of abuse I was falsely accused of everything done to me, kicked out of my house.
Hardly get to see my kids, moved her boyfriend in the next day I was kicked out.
Trying to push me out of my kids’ lives.
I lost my cat and dog, everything I’ve ever owned is gone.
I was isolated from my dad, brainwashed by my mother to think being beaten by women was just part of being a man.
Not allowed to not like it.
I have been married for 36 years to the same women. We have an incredible marriage. Two daughter, not the healthiest. Sometimes I think one of the benefits we have is that we had to fight hard for our children. In 202 we almost lost our youngest daughter. It was a dark time in our marriage. Neither of us ever wanted to leave. However, I brought up the subject because I know from my line of work (tax accountant) that these types of crises can cause divorce.
Financially we have done very well. We came from poor stock and ended up in the 1%. I worked hard, saved, and invested. My wife worked some traditional work, but focused on raising our girls. The house is always clean and she is an incredible cook. In other words, she contributes plenty and I know it. It works for us.
I play YT videos when I plug numbers at the office. Lately these relationship videos showed up in the feed so YT keep sending more. It has helped me realize how lucky I am. It also shows me how difficult relationships can be. I see it in my work life and online.
Thank you for sharing your story. Be well.
Women use the word 'unhappy' because it sounds less selfish than 'bored', which is what they ACTUALLY mean.
It reminds me of all of the ‘50s era neurotic sneak drinking housewives who apparently couldn’t cope with staying home to keep house while socializing with all of the other bored housewives. Apparently that was too difficult for them.
They’re bored because they are boring, and have no real hobbies or interests apart from endless, mindless consumption …
And bored means she wants strange D inside.
@@jimihendrix1575One who is bored is lacking inner resources.
Your ex-wife's friends and social media choices likely convinced her that YOU were the problem and that divorce was some solution. Our society is sick that way.
A married woman’s worse enemies, her divorced and single friends. Misery loves company.
How about when you find out that she was calling her doctors brother for years before she left, HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN! Her doctor was one of the biggist Playboys in the hospital, so I guess he pimped out his patients!
💯@ the negative role social media plays in making women unhappy in their relationships or marriages. Like the saying goes, "comparism is the thief of joy"
100%. Its like people floating around in the middle of shark infested waters saying, come on in the water is great.
@@andrewharchar891 that’s serious Mal Practice in a way…
Nobody talks about the high suicidal statistics that many men suffered after experiencing a divorced.
Yep lost 2 male friends in the last 5 years to this unfortunately 😢
If it makes them happy, not a day goes by or even an hour where I am able to make sense of the pure bitter cold hearted person that threw it all away.
Very true, After my problem left I went to therapy for 2 years, and every trip in the session stated with NO THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE!
@@Itwasme007 I know what you mean. I was almost there myself many times over the last year. 15 years five children we buried our third child together. She threw it all the way so she can go cheat with an old flame, multiple Old flames who all have children and families of their own so not only did she wreck her own home she wrecked other people's homes as well I should have known better she had at least 50 bodies before we met she was 23 at the time it was probably closer to 70 as her best friend told me 25 in the rule is multiply it by three but I was dumb and wanted a family more than anything she took everything from me once 1100 a month my oldest daughter hates my guts because of brainwashing from her mother. I hardly get to see any of my children.i made mistakes as we all do. But I would have loved her forever. She cheated on me with multiple men many times over the years that I just found out about. She even brought a pedophile around my children and my oldest caught her having sex three different times with this man whose son tried to molest my son 10 years previous and this is the man she wants to bring around my children. His wife died four days before I got my divorce papers and my oldest daughter looks strikingly like his dead wife. There are more even horrific details. I don't understand I would have loved her forever. And my kids are caught in the middle of this hell. I told my oldest son last night that if hell is real that I'm living in it
It happens because men get by so many things at once, because she has planned everything for months, maybe years. And she pull the rug. Also because the system allow it and they cripple men and take his kids
I always eye roll when I hear colleagues say "Happy wife = happy life!"
No, happy wife means if she ain't happy then your day is going to be sheer hell.
Every guy I know that says that seems miserable.
That is so true!
That saying is just whistling past the graveyard of their failed marriage.
That's always from the simps who are actually miserable as they're nothing more than slaves in their own house, or rather, HER house.The truth is this; NO wife = a happy life. I've been single for 24 years, and haven;t bothered with women, so I have peace, quiet and solitude to pursue my hobbies and interests. The only thing I miss is sex, but let's face it, that's fleeting and transitory at best. It most definitely is NOT worth selling your peace in return for the occasional bunk up.
“Happy wife or she takes my house and kids away” is the real thing men mean there.
Ways to predict that your wife is about to file for divorce:
- Someone in her friend circle (sisterhood) recently got divorced.
- She's reading the book Eat, Pray, Love.
- She's on the phone with her mom and sister(s) a lot and you don't get to listen in on the conversations.
That damned book....
Yep, mine had an unhealthy attachment to her sisters. They believed in putting themselves first before their husbands. They wanted to control how we raised our children, spend our holidays, and whenever they came up with some idea for a trip or reunion, for my ex wife to drop everything at the momemt and run run off with them. She was constantly on the phone with them. When ever I would push back and tell her our inner circle was more important, I became the enemy. Her sisters would even encourage and enable affairs and divorce. 27 years I gave to this woman, I would have never left her, eventhough I was unhappy with her behavour, I honored my covenant with her, she divorced me with no good reason.
So if she doesn't come home after work on Friday isn't a sign?😂😂😂
3/3 for me.
After my divorce from my ex, who suffers from BPD and possibly Covert Narcissist, parental alienation for 4 plus years, I am a different man. I have cut my expenses by 75%, no more drinking for me, I have not eaten out in 3 years cooking everyday. I have dramatically cut the money I pump into the local society as I have decided to not date. I am surely not the only one. Local economies will suffer due to men deciding to spend their time alone.
Or maybe beaus the men are now working for themselves and setting their own lives up, they will spend, spend and spend more on THEMSELVES this time around and enrich the town they are in since in the back of their mind they know this time around they will keep everything they build!!!
Same here, married a covert that was something I don't recommend
This is a great insight, and it fits with my own experience. When men are betrayed by their loved ones, the consequences are far reaching and societal. The man subconsciously feels that the whole community has betrayed him, by letting this happen to him. His commitment to the greater cause is challenged.
@@JohnSmithEx And who could blame him? He puts in sweat equity into his home, helps raise the kids, attends his wife and she gets bored, and decides to ruin him in more ways than one! So he goes to court thinking he's safe, and finds out the courts really are out to nail him and do so with lies and phony accusations from the ex and in truth, he IS RUINED! So who would blame a guy for thinking that after getting married and raising a family society at large does in fact go after him, and the courts kill off another man in divorce rape. Very common these days; happened to me as well. So really the community didnt help, and since he got ruined, why should he have any sense of commitment to a society that used him??
Women now ask "where are all of the good men"? They have learned their lesson not to make the same mistake again.
You are preaching to the choir, brother. Unfortunately, many women don't feel 'happy' unless a every changing 'minimum standard' is met. They are willing to throw away 80% of the 'happiness' to pursue that 20% of this 'happiness'. After attaining this 20% of this happiness and lost the 80% of this happiness they realize how empty they are.
It is a tragedy that we have reached this point.
I observe these unhappy women with their husbands and how they snipe at the men. Bunch of sour hags, it makes me cringe.
And then men realize that life is nothing but a shit show for them so they just accept the fact that no one will ever care for them, they're on their own, and no one's coming to save the day, and history is just going to repeat
I even know of a guy who got married to a gorgeous woman 20 years his junior, they have a couple of kids, and she's been a witch the whole time, and she decides to divorce him and now she's getting $5,000 per month in alimony and she got the marital home. This was all a setup, she had this planned from the very beginning. This is pure evil.
Many plan to do this, how are you supposed to find the right one?
Bait and switch is a trap many many men have fallen into.
😒 The Divorce is planned before the Engagement 💰 most men cannot fathom that they can pull a Long Con that can go for Decades, no one is going to believe it until it happens to them, but yeah thats total BS, what should have happened and it does happen but its rare: She simply grabs her stuff and leaves to be with her new second husband. But the First Husband gets to keep the house and his kids. Ive seen it happen on several occasions but its rare. Dont expect to get that deal.
@@TheHomeExpert5 called karma I bet he broke many nice less "gorgous" looking women's heart before her I bet some of them are still not over him now maybe childless or even got raped. I knew a guy that happened to him. Broke my heart because I was too hideous as he put it then I got raped and his pretty wife took his kids and his money I would have never done that to him I loved him but I was too ugly for this a hole. God is never Injust
Like CGA says
"The divorce is planned before the marriage."
My one and only ex is on hubs #3. It's amazing how women are able to reboot in life. Many just start over like it's a whole new life and the past just didn't happen. For me, and I think for most men, we have one long life story. A lot of our stories are the same. Worked, met a woman, got married, had children, dealt with divorce, got a dog, paid off all debts.
Like the drone bees just serving the queen
My ex is divorced for the 3rd time now, old lonely, haggard and an alcoholic. Some people just get what they deserve.
They are programmed to have a kid by the next man and society now supports that. They’ll keep doing it until they turn into grandmas
i went thru four wives in my lifetime, so i did try, but im glad to be free now, i never lost any of my properties nor anything substantial because it was all in my parents name so Ha! Ha! ✌😏🏡🏡🏡🌴🌴🌴🌴
Smart man.
My experience was quite different in that the divorce itself was a bigger celebration for me personally than the marriage ever was, it was the happiest day of my entire life. I went from being the plow horse for a crazy woman, who behaved the whole time like she did not even like me, I jumped through hoops indefinitely right from the time early on that I realized that there was no sense in attempting to have an intelligent discussion with someone who had the emotional maturity of a spoiled child in her terrible twos. Getting out of that marriage was like being born again and getting my life back, and yes it was virtually impossible to even consider making a similar commitment to another woman regardless of her perceived worth. The real shocker was the insanity of the family law “justice” system who not only attacked me personally but who wrote off the boat load of written evidence relating to the harm that the nut was doing to our children with her alienation intention, which there was no basis for in reality. She was just a delusional, psychotic sociopath who demonstrated to the gullible nut cases in family law that she was doing everything right when she was - in reality - the ex-wife from hell whose outrageous, malicious lies about me were taken as the gospel while my written summation of the facts, the truth about her conduct was nothing more to these morons than an ex-husband with anger management issues making up lies about this poor woman who was abused mentally, physically and emotionally for almost 15 years. Unimaginable…. She managed to clear the low bar to being confirmed to be a fit mother by not drowning one of the kids in the bath tub. The degree of delusion on the part of these family law cretins is completely unfathomable, this leads inevitably to alienation in time from their only sane parent. It took her six years…. In my case, one of my twin sons took his own life - not even 30 years old - after spending half of his life listening to the lies of a truly crazy bitch. It took the nutburger 6 years to reverse and delete the memory of a good hands on father who, despite the consistent abuse that I endured throughout the marriage, did everything with and for our four children 24/7/365. My only time away from my kids while married was to play hockey once or twice a week after I bathed them and put them to bed. If they were awake, their Dad was with them - walking them to school, taking them to their activities, taking them grocery shopping with me when they got old enough for that, cooking meals for them, especially weekend lengthy mornings when the Queen had to withdraw into her room to escape her husband and family despite all of the help that I was providing as she withheld sex as a measure of power and control over her domestic slave, no amount of compliance with her endless “honey do” lists could ever make this lunatic “happy”. Doubled your income while being abused by this insane woman? Double it again, do that and what is next? That’s right, double it again. Rinse and repeat, no amount of doubling will ever make her happy. There is no satisfying a deranged psychotic who believes that the sky is falling every minute of every day when her husband fails to double his income every five years. I lost nothing in the divorce, I got my life back and I called the shots in that life 24/7. Pure gold after the shit I was put through not only by an abusive sociopath but my the family law “justice” system who jumped aboard for good measure, hell they even made it legal for this woman - who could earn her own living as a physiotherapist - to extort $200,000 or half of the child support from the kids all while she was telling them that their Daddy was not paying the $400,000 in child support. If anyone told me that family law could be this fucked up, I would not have believed it in a million years. Like my crazy ex-wife, they accept no responsibility for their actions and inactions to the detriment of my innocent children, they have a man to blame for this misfortune - right? Absolute bullshit…. Once you experience it, there is no difficulty in holding all of these morons accountable for the damage that they are aiding their insane mother inflicting upon the four innocent children -er, I mean pawns. Now the surviving three children - damaged needlessly and senselessly by their cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs mother will suffer through the rest of their days as screwed up in their heads as their Mommy Dearest is, they will undoubtedly screw up their kids, who will bugger up their kids and the endless beat of the feminism drum will go on for another generation or two until deranged women getting their way craters western civilization. Anyone in denial will eventually catch up to this reality, and all that had to be done was to institutionalize the crazy bitch to protect the children from their insane mother - just like they did in the good old days when women who were not of sound mind got locked up for the sake of the children. Does this sound extreme to you? It is nothing more than common sense…. There will be a HUGE cost associated with believing women at all costs, it is getting so bad already that even many feminists can see the insanity in their own daughters in law…
There’s a lot of truth what you’re saying. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
@@robroy9870 Wow, I thank you very much your words nailed it perfectly.
So sry for your experience. Praying for you brother.
@@robroy9870 too bad you didn't know Jesus well enough to read God's word. There is a passage in there that the apostle John says "it were better if man did not marry, but used this time to commune with God as to go through life with a wife will be troubles he has not known before.
But for the sake of lust, a man should marry to keep from sinning.
Bible says it right there. You're going to have troubles you know nothing about. Well now you know, and I'm very happy you came out of it unscathed, as it were.
I feel for you my Brother I have experienced the same issues. It's very troubling.
They want revenge during the divorce. They are ruthless and don't care. "I sacrificed my body to have children - now he owes me" and "I supported him while he built his career - now he owes me". Family law is enabling these disgusting behaviors and mentality.
they will always create a reason to justify their despicable behavior.
What part of her reasons are not true? Did her body actually improve because of having children? Did he not build his career while she helped him, or not? Was he he really stepping down from his career for staying at home with their children and keeping a household for them all, and why that arrangement in that case?
@@DNA350ppm So it's OK for her to take it out on the man that her body changed because of child birth? That's HIS fault? And it's OK for her to take revenge on him for working to support her and the family? A man can't just "step down" from his career and quit his job. There are bills to pay, dude!
"i hate him for giving me the baby I begged him to have"
"im literally a holocaust survivor because he made money for me to live" 🤡
You’d think having children in and of itself would be their reward and they need no further ‘payment’… Really shows who does and doesn’t care for their children.
If women took their marriage commitment as seriously as they do their "Queen for a day" wedding planning, there would be far fewer wrecked homes.
And if men kept being as attentive and interested as before the honey-moon, then there would be far less families with a mother as the head, provider and protector.
@DNA350ppm, bullshit. I know plenty of men who earn all the money, come home do chore play, dote on their wives, and the wind up cucks and simps and she ends up taking the kids and leaving.
I was a groomsman in a wedding in 1992. The wedding and reception ended up costing in the neighborhood of $30K USD. That was in 1992 money, over $67K in 2024. The marrige lasted 10 years. What a waste of time and resources.
One hell of a party tho'...
@@DNA350ppmI doubt that's true in mist cases.
@seththomas9105 in my many relationships, some of the women were in love and if I'd asked, they'd have married me at the courthouse.
Don't yiu think that many men lead with the wallet and the expensive wedding is just a bribe?
Can a woman make you a millionaire? Yes, if you’re a billionaire. 😂
@@JJReal-m7x that one gave me a chuckle. I've never been married and no kids and sometimes regret that.... Then I hear stories like this.
Well said.
@@JJReal-m7x no truer words have been spoken... lol 😆
No truer words have been spoken... lol 😂
If a man still talks to a woman after divorce, especially if she walks out, you need to have some sense smacked into you.
I agree
Just very brief practical biz only as related to divorce agreement. And watch out for John's crazy woman blow-up-phone vid, btdt!
exception. Discussion re minor children. That’s it!
The Blue Pill still lingers in John. Hopefully he can spit it out completely soon, for his own good …
@@ma3stro681 word
Your videos are great! I recently went through a divorce and I can completely relate to what you’re saying. My wife divorced me because she was unhappy. Initially she told me she wanted to get married and have a family, I told her that I wanted to get my career established first. She agreed, it took longer than I anticipated but I followed through on my promise. Shortly after our first child was born, she started drinking and picking fights with me. I thought it was just postpartum depression and she would come out of it. I really never thought she would divorce me. It’s been a rollercoaster the past few years, I’m joust hoping I can put this behind me and move on with my life. I’m tired of fighting and feeling like I’m not good enough. I appreciate your videos, I really do find solace in your messages. You are very wise and can articulate very well what I’m going through. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
I’m really glad the video resonated with you
This! This is the exact situation I hear from guys I know who’ve been through divorce. He was a hardworking man, well off, great dad but the wife was “unhappy”. And unhappy is a catch all term that women use to get out of marriages when they are tired of dealing with day to day life and the excitement and attention of the wedding has worn off. I’ve seen this exact pattern over and over and over. Thank you for this video.
Same here I think it’s becoming more obvious. Women love talking so much they tell on themselves on tik tok and RUclips😂., more and more men are dropping out. 2030 is gunna be hilarious 😂 got my popcorn 🍿 ready
That excuse, “I’m unhappy”, has been used for thousands of years by women. We were lucky that tough rules didn’t let them off easy for most of history. These last decades in history have made it so easy for women without removing any of the problems for men
When I heard Esther Patel talk about female sex drive it was shocking to hear her say that unlike men, who’s monogamous drive stays high on into old age, the female has a death of Eros at the alter. For her, she cannot desire what she has captured.
We have these stereotypes in society that are just wrong. Females long portrayed as nurturing are psychologically incompatible with marriage. Hypergamy and monkey branching are evolutionary hard core to their nature.
Thanks for mentioning its impact on divorced men. I truly feel unable to love again. I may find a woman but it will be transactional in my heart (and my nuts) and I’ll be ready to go in 10 minutes if she’s displays “unhappiness”
Not to mention menopause - a lot of women go through menopause and they no longer have a use for the husband. And when they get the house and half of the money that’s what they go for.
@@nneisler yea, apparently “grey divorce” is very popular
this world is a mess
@@MichaelPrudhomme-u7x Grey divorce is real. I was 59 when it happened 27 years thrown away. I now get to work til I die. Good times.
Sir, your comment felt like I wrote it about myself.
The transactioal nature of vvomen is what kills me. Everything is a business transaction for them
It is a kick in the nuts, the majority of women I have met are not happy. They dislike the world they are living in, and take it out on the men that love them, no matter how good a husband and provider they are.
Women are not capable of being happy.
They pushed hard for the status quo and now realize that it's not what they expected, so they whip out the victim card and blame men.
They were told from birth that a "prince" was going to come along and make them happy forever. And if you can't live up to that, then they will keep looking.
I must be your doppelganger in so far as your exact words were mine when my wife left. Well loved, well taken care of etc. With women it seems as though it's never enough.
I think it is an epidemic. I think it is something other than marriage.
@@john-griffin Remember, they all start off a '4' on crazy scale.
The crazy gene really starts showing itself around age 38
Spot on, as usual! My story is very similar, except no young children. Married 18 years (first wife died), paid all the bills, provided wonderful house, worked full-time in a stressful job and supported her when she wasn't working. Left me because she found me 'irritating'. The only difference from your story is that she didn't decide she wanted divorce until 11 years afterwards, and then she hit me with it on the very day during the pandemic when I was closest to despair. Broke my heart--twice. So no more marriage--ever.
"No fault" divorce is what started this madness.
Going through my separation and I don’t know how I’m able to smile and keep a positive attitude at work it’s such a betrayal it hurts. But exercise and watching your videos has drastically helped me out soooo much. Thank you.
Hang in there, it really does get better. Thanks
The first 6 months are the hardest. It gets better from there.
once the property settlement is done the weight lifts off your shoulders. It does get better.
@@theunlearnedmind7374Thank you brother
@@Horseman1966Thank you brother 🙏🏼 😊
They talk with the older women and already have the divorce planned out before the marriage
😏 Before the Engagement they are already rubbing their hands 💰 most guys never see it coming , they get punked
CORRECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@@MrSamadolfo😅
@@cheezinhoweree yep same happened with me 15 years in five kids and we've been buried our third child together. Her mom passed away before I met her so her aunt was like a surrogate mom to her. Between her aunt and her best friends they all helped her plan this for probably at least a year maybe more before she actually pulled the trigger. The whole time all of them were smiles and how are you doing and niceties meanwhile knowing what they were all getting ready to do to me and my children. I'll never forgive them eventually I would possibly be able to forgive my ex-wife but not her aunt and not her friends. They knew God damn well what they were doing. Most of her friends are divorced horrible miserable f****** b******so they could all be miserable together. Well I hope they have a whole lot of fun being single and lonely the rest of their lives. Because we all know the best place to get marriage advice is from a bunch of divorced old biddies.
For women in their 20's and early 30's - the drive to reproduce is strong, they want to meet "their child", and a man is a necessary part to get to that goal. See it repetitively, - meet a guy, settle in, perhaps one pregnancy, get married before that arrives, have another child, then think about getting out with two kids in less than 5 years. Poor poor man who thought she loved him
All valid points. No fault divorce empowered women to misbehave...and get paid for it!
Insanity!
Thanks for helping others to negotiate and avoid catastrophe.
"Happiness" was not and is not a part of any wedding vow. Prior to feminism, wive and husbands knew that happiness is for children, as adulthood is long, hard and tiresome with occasional bouts of happiness if you are lucky.
The modern fee male rides on the roller coaster of emotions, happiness being paramount.
Once that ends.....your marriage ends.
I have no sympathy for any man who gets married today. You have seen 3 generations and counting of marital enslavement via divorce.
Exactly!
😏 checkout the classics: the predatory feemale & the manipulated man
Fee male: is this for bypassing YT filters, or for the meaning?
Top comment.
It's should be joy, not happiness. And couples are meant to bring one another joy. But vvomen don't want to bring any joy, they just take.
I put my ex through 5-years of university but she couldn’t find a job (where we lived) and decided to move out for a job a 3-hour drive away. Saw her on weekends until a year and a half later she filed for divorce. Claimed she was unhappy and that I wasn’t “there for her”. Then she told me she considered herself to be like a “princess” and she was entitled to anything she wanted and that she never intended to stay married to me from the beginning. Literally called me a sucker. Lost my house and car and the $150K I spent on her education. Never again
Men are disposable in their eyes. They are ruthless when it comes to taking a man's assets. In fact, they believe they are entitled to it.
worst i've heard yet. Onwards brother.
Really sorry to hear that. I hope you are doing okay man?
My goodness, man. That was a tough story to read. Hope things are getting better.
In the words of Future : "It's a evil world we live in!!"
John, the similarities in our lives and marriage are insanely similar! My wife had it all and she blew it up! Now I live in peace with my two daughters…
My father once remarked that women need to be protected from themselves. He had a point.
A lot of women need adult supervision 24/7. They depend on their feelings as facts and act upon them ignoring common sense. Avoid and run when you see the Red Flags.
@@racebannon96 Which is why, in general, they make poor politicians or any position of power that require rational, logical thinking.
That's why the talibans keep them in burkas. We got it wrong in the west
@@mikesolns1364 In Iran they had the women's no boundaries movement going on, but that ended because the UK&USA came to f up the country, and so it later became very conservative. Now they may get a women's no boundaries movement going again semi soon, it's possible. They had better keep their conservative system, because give an inch, everything is lost. So it is when wimin get to set the rules.
It's a sad reality but you just gotta adapt to it. @@mikesolns1364
WOW! I wish the government would listen to this talk! The laws for divorce need to be updated no doubt about that.
Men need a lobbying group to counteract feminism and discrimination they receive from family law.
They know that its their communist agenda....
@Listener-r2j the government is NOT yiur friend. This is ALL by design. Govern = control. Ment = mind......
@@themick6586 Men's rights movements do exists, but they are labeled as misogynists or whatever.
"Break up the family and you destroy the country" - Lenin
Opps... I'm unhappy..I want half of everything !
If they were stay at home, they will get more than half.
Your video struck very deeply with me. I am going through the divorce process right now and I had the wife speak about "happiness" thing. I am a person who has always tried to teach my children to find happiness in the little things. I gave my whole life to my wife and kids and now she has half of all my hard work, and I see my kids half time. All because of her unhappiness that she never spoke about till she started her affair. Great video.
Hey John
You are spot on. My wife projected so much hate on me when she left me, after I had given her everything. My wife never has told me what I did wrong. She ghosted me with no reason for leaving after 20 years of marriage. I'am now single at 55.
I have been down this SAME path. Thank you for speaking out.
Familarity breeds contempt and nobody can escape from this...
Yes!
And to a woman, blood is thicker than water, but money is thicker than both..
@@stuartjohnston4353 that's why I'll never understand how's it possible to cohabitate with them...
The woman actually has to have real feelings of absolute googoo gaga love for you. She has to literally ADORE you if she's gonna stay and be submissive
@@smokingcrab2290 they can't pair bond with that mileage these days...
Remember Brad Pitt or Tom Brady wasn't enough....list goes on...
My wife was prescribed by several different specialist doctors anti-depression medicines. Three different kinds. She took all three of the same time. The results were that she became indifferent and decided to divorce me.
you are probably better off without her
John, you nailed it! My ex's "happy state" and mental issues were not my responsibility. Yet she literally ruined my life because of her "issues".
I’ve heard it said that the 2nd happiest day of a man’s life is his wedding day, while the happiest day is his divorce day.
No wife=happy life is the new norm.
don't know any man that considers his wedding day "happy". Every man I know, including myself, was full of anxiety and hoping others enjoyed the day.
Don’t get back on the plantation again
Actually the day after we got married it was OK. Skipped wedding day. It changed the level of commitment for me at least. Meanwhile she's lining up disasters and obstacles while I'm trying to keep my shit together. When the judge approved the divorce I had the most uncanny level of happiness on my face while she remained "miserable" for her friends. I'm out of here!!!
It has occurred to me (and no doubt to others) that the hype, hoopla and hullabaloo of a big wedding day is ramped up by silly films, also the whole idea of 'romanticism' is something that should be left alone from the age of maybe 11. Getting the bills paid and running the children around is not a romantic activity!
I remember my first time being a ring bearer around kindergarten or so. Even then, I thought marriage was a bad idea. The fact that so many grown-ups aren't smarter than a kindergartener baffles me!
As a child, I too wondered how you can be absolutely certain somebody is "the one" for you.. as an adult, guess you realize as gals dawn on 30, that's when they merely shrug somebody is their best option.
@davidglad "the one" never made sense to me either. The one would mean that I'd never have an appetite for variety because I found the only one God put on this earth for me. Absolutely blasphemy.
To posses such insight at such an early age reveals genius beyond that of Einstein who after all got married.
I know of at least 10 men who have gone through the same thing, being good husbands and then the wife gets unhappy. Part of this is a result of the wife speaking to their friends and family whom all have a negative attitude toward the husband. Mostly it's because of jealousy. I have heard of multiple accounts that at the divorce trial the wives would accuse their husbands of molesting the children. It seems that this is a common tactic implemented by these evil attorneys in order to paint the husband with disdain and win the settlement.
imagine the divorce being with one of those evil attorneys trying to pull that false narrative junk.
😒 we live in a stange Dystopian Era, Divorce is the norm and encouraged, and theres a whole super structures of friends and family and society that support it as well. Even most guys support it as well. Just look around you tube and most guys will promote it and talk down to any guy that wants to buck the system.
@TheHomeExpert5 The wife's attorney actually recommend such tactics to the wife if she's unaware of the strength of the accusations. It's a silver bullet in their arsenal. That, and claims of Domestic Abse.
As a man thats never married and just played the field his entire life . Its glowingly apparent to me that my choice to avoid being bound & shackled to an individual woman is pure genius ( even if i do say so myself) .
I was a child of divorce and saw how desperately unhappy married couples were from a young age ( fighting about everything life throws all the time , was the bell ringer for me ) i have lost count of the amount of women i have had sexual relations with , nor do i care to remember. I just know that as soon as the signs of control/demands/conflict arose , i packed my bags got in my truck and headed onto new horizons. The only minor regret is no kids , but knowing from my own childhood that kids are tools to be used as emotional & financial leverage, it was best to avoid that incumberance .
I only made this comment to share from my experience and in no way offer my experience as a form of advice .
( Horses for courses men , Drones for beehives, and freedom for those willing to sacrifice certainty)
See ya in the next life !
Your description of your marriage is almost a mirror as mine. Which has made my divorce really hard to bare. But your videos have made me piece it together and has boosted my efforts to heal from this. Thank you.
I get it! I heard this expression today, that really sank in. “ It takes 6 men to carry you to your grave, and one woman to put you there “. I’ve been struggling with an unfaithful wife, for about ten years now. I found out about her affair, and told her that I knew about it. She started blaming me for her not being happy, while I was working 10 to 20 hours overtime, and renovating our home. I just couldn’t believe that she could do this to me!!! I tried to work it out with her, but it just wasn’t enough. All these different excuses were coming up why she wouldn’t have sex with me. It was a short time before I found out that she never ended her affair. I left for six months, and it was heartbreaking every time I came back to see the kids. She asked me to stay, so I moved back home, but it’s never been the same. That was 8 years ago, and I’ve lived through being disrespected, and only having sex twice. Throughout this time, I’ve been thinking about a strategy to leave, cause everything I’ve worked for, doesn’t seem to matter. I’m 58, and I’m so confused, but I’m hoping that there’s something better out there for me.
That's a difficult story... You did it for the kids. Once the kids are adults make your plan.
@stevenbongiorno9277 1. Your marriage is done. There's no fixing it once a woman cheats; they cheat on a emotional level first and not the physical like us guys.
2. Get a paternity test on your kids ASAP. Who knows how long she's been cheating on you.
3. If your wife is still fertile, STOP having martial activities with her. She may try to put another man's baby on you.
One way or another this is going to end in divorce. Best of luck to you in your future fight to be in your children's lives.
You should have left and never looked back
It won’t ever change, mine gave me I’m unhappy speech and I tried to work it out knowing I’d be in the same shoes again at some point and two years later here I am. I regret sticking around losing time I could have used to live and get things in order.
It’s hard moving on brother. I’m 5 years divorced and you have to accept it’s long over and revert back to how you were before you met, when you were about your dreams and goals. It’ll get easier but you mustn’t dwell on the negative. Best of luck
Listen, I found the perfect woman and she was a living Angel for several years. Until she became unhappy and got hooked on prescription meds and decided to divorce me, her mother turned against me and her adult daughter whom I had helped out throughout the years also turned on me
It makes you wonder why we bother with them to begin with!
@john-griffin until recent times, not enough men's support communities.. but of course many of us are also stubborn to reality for the longest time, but then gals act surprised how easily we can walk away once we do see the light
Beware becoming a step parent......its like false teeth...they work, but not nearly as well as having your own
Dude you literally are in my exact position in everyway possible. We have had the exact same experiences and think exactly the same. Its like watching myself.
Same! It's eye opening how similar men's journeys are. I pray for a mass awakening among men so this madness will end.
8 . I was very confused when she told me she was unhappy and wanted a trial separation. 15 years of making decisions together , make a life and family together , give and take all the way through, how is it possible to then be unhappy with our outcomes. I questioned everything ,including did this person ever really love .
A 'trial separation' is a test for her to get a taste of single life... not for your benefit at all
I spent 10 years married. She was unhappy. She thought jumping in bed with another man would solved her misery. She demanded a divorce and I filed. She tried to come back and negotiate. I had her out of the house and it was peaceful with her being gone. I knew if I allowed her back in the house she would be even more hateful towards me and our kids. I got the divorce done quickly and custody of our kids. She hates me more than ever. Our kids are grown now and I went No Contact many years ago. I am still relieved she is gone and someone’s else’s problem.
Somebody was already tickling her fancy during your marriage.
Same here 13 years now unhappy. Like of i was nothing to her
That’s what my wife told me when she left. We were going to have a trial separation. The trial lasted three weeks until she found her old boyfriend.
It was in actual fact marriage that exiled me. Nobody can stand my ex including her own family and there was no way to have any social life with her on board. We're going through a divorce that she filed for right now and I've been out socializing and forcing myself to yes to every invite for a happy hour, dinner, or party. I feel like I'm just now coming out of exile! I'm also reconnecting with my family. My sisters were all overjoyed that I am getting away from her and I'm getting to know my nieces and nephews that stayed away because of her. Both of my grown sons are happy with this decision and my Daughter in Law likes that I'll be available to help with Grandkids without getting my ex involved. My soon to be ex has driven everyone else out of her life and now she's driven me out. Oh well. Good luck.
I tried taking us to Church to feel a sense of belonging and comfort my son in his pathway to navigate and make sense of life through Jesus Christ and she demanded we stop going because she felt constantly judged by other women there who were traditional women and since she was an educated person she felt she was constantly being frowned upon so the only social outlet and support network we had she took away from us. Prime definition of no accountability. But remember it's all my fault!
@mikeknowles8017 how did u rope yourself with someone like that though
@@princenwankwo9457 The good old love bombing/bait n switch….. Got me too.
@@princenwankwo9457 That is the question I am working really hard to understand. I own that part of it.
@@princenwankwo9457 That is the question that I'm really trying to figure out. I certainly own part of this and apparently made some real bad decisions.
Divorce saved my life. I love my freedom. She is someone else's problem. Yeah, being homless, divorce court, losing everything, losing self-confidence and alienation from kids sucked, from now on, nothing in my life can be compared to that betrayal and suffering. I am bulletproof. Nothing gets me down any more. I am rebuilding my life the way i want. I have experiences, jobs, people that i could never have when i was married. I went into exile and moved 1000 miles away. There are no phone calls from the ex. Clean break.
The western world has shifted from rewarding and encouraging masculine stability to embracing feminine emotional volatility
Song : MANEATER
band : Hall & Oats..
this song every day could keep despair & devastation away..
I was exiled, live pretty much in my car for almost 3 years.
Hope you bounced back and are happier now
Same here, exiled, and over 2 years living in my car. But guess what, I'm way better and happier than I was before.
Wbat doesn't @#%& kill you only makes you stronger.
@@silvereagle2787 excuse me for my question, but where do u do your physiological needs, shower etc?
I just watched this video again, you’re right John, it’s inhumane to be exiled from everything you built as a man. Never again.
I saw an interesting video of US special forces selection, men and women soldiers together, where only a tiny proportion of them would pass because it was so tough. Those hoping to be selected were given a test. They believed that their sergeant fumbled a live grenade which fell to the ground. Three or four men fell on the grenade to prevent their fellow soldiers being blown up. The women in the selection group ran away. This, to me, represents a metaphor for what you're saying.
Exactly! That is a fascinating test
I read that the women who graduated from Ranger School, were given a much easier experience being that they were female and the Army wanted bragging rights at any cost. But vets who are Rangers are sickened....
Interesting. I work offshore North Sea and the industry is recruiting more and more females. Invariably, they're essentially workshy, useless diversity hires, constantly giggling and flirting with beta males who hang round them for crumbs, like flies round a camel's arse. A gifted, easy existence simply because nature gifted them a pair of tits and a flange.
I'm a woman (not married) and I relate to this personally and from hearing testimonies of coworkers who are divorced. In my last relationship my ex was constantly unhappy and anxious. Every week there would be a list given to me in terms of what he was unhappy about what I was doing or not doing in the relationship (yes, a man was doing this). I'm a conflict avoided somewhat so this made me super uncomfortable and I didn't understand it as just basic companionship makes me so happy I don't need much else.
Although this type of behaviour is more common in women, it happens in men too. And the same goes in terms of women out there who are more "chill" and wouldn't pull the rug under you. These women exist, the same way that the naggy unhappy bf or husband also exists.
I hope we all heal from this, and spirituality is brought back into our society. These problems stem from the vapid and empty existence in modern life. The lack of meaning in our lives.
Well said ! i am 83 going on second marriage 43 yr happy but share most of your experiences from the first marriage.
I enjoy listening to you ! Helpful to many ! Thanks for all you do ! Love the dogs !
67 married 45 years to the second wife, an intelligent, logical, emotionally mature woman, I relize that she is somewhat of a unicorn, I still carry the scars, from the betrayal, paternity fraud, and separation from my child.
At least I have gotten to see my exes life crumble, as 2 more good men divorced her and her children keep their distance from her.
Could of definitely used Johns message 47 years ago.
Let's hope other young men hear his message before their life gets screwed up.
I was suspicious that my wife was a narcicist so 3.5 years ago, I began a study narcicsm with Dr. Sam Vaknin and Richard Grannon being the 2 main contributors of my studies. After 3 years, I am no expert but had learned enough to suit my needs. I began studying modern women in general. It only took me a week to realize that the two topics were related very closely. Same nomenclature, same actions, same relationship problems, same bad behaviour, same lack of accountability or responsibility; even the same female rhetoric no matter what country or language.
they're mostly not good people too same as men
it's a little bit funny... this feeling injustice 😂😂❤
You sound like me 15 years ago. I hope you continue to grow away from anger and use this experience to be a stronger man and understand yourself more.
I stumbled across this video by accident as I was browsing. I seldom comment on videos I see, but this one was so close to my experience and the understanding of it that I’ve come to know that I must compliment you on it. Been there, done that, felt it. I could not have said it any better.
4:36 therein lies the problem. I was having a lite argument with the wife and she rattles off the small mundane tasks that she claimed bothered here bc they weren't being done regularly. I told her "I could do all of that but ultimately it will not change your behavior and once I removed these symptomatic issues she would have to confront the true source of her unease".
Today I do those things that once bothered her but now there is a new set of things that cause the unease. We're not on a path to divorce but she needs balance between work, her mind and body and then she can present her best self. I'm here in support.
It is a problem that seems to afflict a lot of women. Internal Locus of Control: Be the source of your own happiness. So simple and yet so powerful.
Yes, you are on the path to divorce. You had better consult with an attorney now, so you aren't blindsided when she files.
@@SKBottom Already reached that summit and came back down the mountain. I wasn't a good man...I got my health in check, hit the gym and restored my masculinity. She could for sure leave but my stock has risen and will continue to rise so I'd be ok either way.
The wife over here complained about everything but refused to help me with our kids and chores. When she found an affair partner, she left us. Reality hit her hard when she realized that her new lover boy was an alcoholic on dialysis. She tried coming back. I said No. I filed for divorce and got custody of our kids and our new home. Good luck to all.
@@racebannon96 Well done, King. 👑
I know a fella who's wife wanted a divorce and all the cash it brings, then a few years later calls up asking him repair the boiler. My advice was to remind her they're divorced, put the phone down, and continue the day.
I had that insane experience. They just don't get it!! Lol My ex's solipsistic brain does not comprehend her own stupidity....
No, the answer is to block her number, never speak with her again, and leave her to the consequences of her actions. Men need to stop coddling woemyn … 😎
@@ma3stro681 I enjoy listening to her pleas, saying no, and then hanging up. Do not ask me to give up the simple but delicious pleasures of life....
@@ma3stro681 they're the generation who don't use mobile phones, and it's not possible to block landlines. Good natured men have always been manipulated.
Baby, you said your were unhappy so I sold our opulent cars and house - were moving into a studio apartment - now you have something to be unhappy about.
Baby I know you’re not happy, and I just lost my job…. Only way to get out unscathed
When you were a little boy, there were things you could do for hours until after it was late and dark, and it made you perfectly content. Then puberty hit and women took the stage. For many, success after this point would be things like business, career or even hobbies which would be but a front for making the woman happy which, by proxy, would make the man worthy of love. Is this chemistry, social engineering or something else?
No matter what is the real reason or combination thereof, I would propose we backtrack a step or two and once more question what is success, happiness and being content is to us, really. Maybe we've been successful in many different things already up to this point and that little voice in the back of our heads which whispers "you need to do more to be worthy" is not our voice after all?
P.S. - I didn't wait for her to do the move as I could see it from a mile away. They really do tell you everything if you listen. And you better fucking believe it!
This man is doing the lord’s work, great addition to this space, excellent orator
I've never had much luck getting the truth from a woman.
The only "truth" you speak of is your commitment alone brother! 😅
It’s hard enough to actually go THROUGH the divorce, but lord have mercy on any man who is set up for the worst outcomes by a the ex wife. They have so much power to plan your downfall, which is why men need to be careful and pay attention to how she behaves in the marriage.
if your married its already too late, theres not much you can do but quietly retain a lawyer and plan your own downfall, its still better than to be complacent and to be blindsided
This video is 100% spot on.
6:21 “There’s this big climax after marriage, kids, etc… Reality sets in” this hit me hard! I never thought about it like that, but i think you nailed it! I had a similar experience with my ex wife, it’s left me scratching my head 4 years later till just now! Thank you John, appreciate you sharing your experience. 🙏
Guys I‘m 32 now, never had a long relationship, kinda just working and enjoying life I‘d say, all my life I kinda felt incomplete never having a long, meaningful relationship with a woman. All the bros telling their stories and I just cant tell any of mine. The last couple years I start to realize that I probably didn’t miss out on much, most of my friends relationships came to an end eventually and some friends needed real help after the breakup. More than enough times Ive seen what it had done to my friends, the confusion and disappointment, the day prior she loved you, the next day ur out. My mom and dad haven’t lived together since 25 years btw, its exactly how your video says, he was exiled. Guess I did everything right, staying single internationally or unintentionally.
The biggest predicament is for men who get lonely and want much company.
Bros before 304s. Bros stay, wimin come and leave, so best to keep one's own friend circle alive and in the center.
I've been in just a few relationships, and none of them lasted very long. At first, I felt just like you, wondering why, what was the problem with me, etc.
But seeing the way things are now, I actually feel relieved. Compared to some friends, I came out relatively unscathed. I don't have kids, don't have to pay alimony...2 ½ years single and I couldn't be happier.
I too feel incomplete without a meaningful relationship with a woman but vvomen these days are broken beyond repair
Don't ever "keep" a woman. If a woman leaves you and regrets it do not give her a second of your time when she calls you and tells you she is still not happy.
John, I agree with this point and would stop taking you ex’s calls that have nothing to do with your kids
It's what I tell my wife... Leave if you're unhappy. The door is unlocked, but you'll find it locked if you try to return.
Very true. I was so shattered and felt betrayed when I heard about the divorce from her. It happened quite recently. The same "not happy" theme.
We might be the same person. Exact words from wife. 3 kids and 15 years married...Not happy. Shame.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a b l oody reason!
After getting divorced it's hard to go back on the horse again especially those who been raked over the coals.
Need a young foal
I think the problem is we just cant commit to that level again knowing how easily they'll dispose of us for virtually no reason.
@Jackripster69, "how easily they'll dispose of us for virtually no reason" trueer words have never been spoken
John, this is a timely video, as today has been harder than most. Just ruminating on the falsified court ordered separation, today’s got me down. This echoes most of my feelings today.
My experience is much like yours, with the exception that when I drove off one day to take care of my dead grandmothers house, my spouse drove to a lawyers office to write a fiction piece to put in front of a judge to have me thrown out of my house and temporarily remove my rights as a father to my son.
After it was proven she lied, my parental rights were restored. However, I’ve lost my family. Due to a stupid mistake, the lives of two people are forever altered and the life of one destroyed.
I didn’t know what I was doing when I got married. That I was signing my life away. I wish I did. No one told me how horrifying this can be. I would never get married in this country. You would have to be insane to go through with it, if you know.
My spouse has alienated me from my son. I only have him 15% of the time. The people who cared about me are gone. I have no good reason to be here anymore. I will continue my obligation as a father for the next 6 years, but it is so, so hard to trudge onward. I can’t stress enough of how broken I feel. The facade of a 20 year relationship, gone. Poof. The ability to trust anyone, gone. But I’m forced to continue to work to support 2 households, my son, and some unsavory, ungrateful 150 lb individual. Eternal peace will be welcome when I’m granted it.
Our country, a corporation in itself, is incentivizing and fostering divorce as it is a boon to the economy to finance two households. My spouse spends money like a drunken sailor, unchecked, that alone will boost Wall Street. The country couldn’t care less about my life, as long as it can suck money out of it.
Thanks John, take care everyone, and always stay single.
holy shit man ^^
fuck them focus on work & read rational male =d
I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. Keep letting go of her and what she did. Use this time to make yourself happy again. Enjoy being single again and rediscovering who you are.
Second comment…THIS IS YOUR BEST VIDEO!!! 🙏 Your ability to articulate yourself and explain the facts and feelings of so many of us is truly a gift. I’m blown away! 🤯
I agree, this is one of his best videos so far.
@@plasmaarmelund I haven't seen every one of them, but this is excellent, no question.
My ex wife left me and said she knew how to speak tongues. Gave ma a list of damandes that I refused to do. Served me divorce papers. I started seeing other women and then justified the divorce saying I cheated on her. It was 20 years ago, i will never sign a legal contract with another woman again. Thank you for your insight.
Completely agree
Also, I never want to hear the words " community property " for the rest of my short life!
Also, I have multiple motorcycles now that treat me good, provide me joy and won't threaten or leave me. And having physical interactions with a woman that is like a 5 gallon bucket of warm water isn't worth the risk .
Dude - don't let the ex-wife who betrayed you continue to call you and use you as an emotional tampon!
At every marriage the man should speak his vows twice so she can hear them and the woman can say nothing because they mean nothing even if she did.
What’s hers is hers and what’s yours is hers! 😊
You are so right on 100 percent !
Thanks John for vocalizing this experience. It can be brutal on men. I gave my heart and soul to my family, my wife, everything. I never expected after 17 years along with 3 kids this other person would stab me in the back like she did. I blame her, I blame our court system that encourages this sort of thing - you can exile him, take the house, take the kids and he can pay for it all. She was always a bipolar unhappy narcissist, it didn't matter the great life she had, that I provided for, nothing was ever good enough. I recall her making horrible comments about our neighbors and thinking, wow, you really are sick. I thought I could fix her, surely these must just be periods of anxiety. The last 6 months were hell on me. I recall crying in remorse and asking her, why would you throw everything away? Why would you destroy everything? Well, because she could, and she wasn't happy and obviously it's because of him, and our society and courts encourage her to do so. Now I did remarry, I felt like a fish out of water and I guess I felt the need to jump back into the frying pan. Now that has been quite a ride, some of it good, some of it not so good. My wife now is pretty bat shit crazy, if I were to have it to do over again I'd have stayed single. But I'm stuck now since I'm sure she could and would take me to the cleaners if I wanted to part ways. The betrayal and knife in back from first wife changed me to a large degree. I can no longer trust, I can't trust my second wife, she is not allowed to see my financials. I made it clear if married I will not be your open bank account. My divorce was thru the 2007 recession, I lived thru paying ungodly spousal support, new house going underwater, job loss, you name it. Somehow I lived thru this, but it has changed me, mostly for the better. I no longer take shit from anyone, especially the current wife. And I'm not going to say "I'm sorry" a hundred times like I did with the first wife. I'm sorry you are bat shit crazy, you should work on that. Well, not in those words, but that's what I'm thinking. ;) Want to go on a vacation? That's great, have fun, I'm not going with ;) So, yes, be careful guys. John, enjoy your single life ;)
Thanks for sharing your insights and your story. I really appreciate your support.
John, by far the best thing for you and for most men are your, and their furry companions! Total loyalty and love.❤😊 Plus, a great walking, running, whatever companion.
They are great. I’ve been told by my daughter that I need to start training for a 10K. They will run with me and love it. You couldn’t ask her anymore.
I am 55 and never got married. Instead, I developed a career as a consultant in test automation architecture and earned six master's degrees over 24 years. I am now working on a PhD in AI/ML for healthcare at Arizona State while working full-time. Stories like this post along with the plethora of subscriber comments make me glad I never rushed into it. I often joke "Marriage is just something that those grown-ups do. Someday when I grow up maybe I'll do it - lol." The numerous train wrecks of failed marriages are truly frightening. I knew a former marital therapist in FL who said the concept of a perfect marriage is like trying to go undefeated in SEC football. Most people aren't able to do it.
Are you bragging or complaining? Anyway you are smart... don't get married...
You hit so many nails dead on with this. Hearing this makes me feel better because at least I'm not the only one.
You make happy the only one you can make happy.You!
Married 16 yrs.
Divorced 24 yrs.
Being single is underrated!
Salute wise g... Excellent reflection and observations ...do not take responsibility for someone elses happiness
Exiled and still paying! Excellent analysis John, especially the part where, because of OUR deep level of commitment, we feel a profound sense of betrayal from her but also society through the courts that makes us feel totally used up and spit out - left for homelessness unless we work really hard to get ourselves out of this mess. Afterwards it's hard to believe that anyone cares about us at all. My ex planned it all from the start and pulled the plug when it was most convenient for her. She photocopied all my financials and threatened to go to the IRS if I gave her too much trouble. She had a PhD. She wanted it all her way and "compromise" was not a big word in her vocabulary. Wish I'd know then what I've been learning from you now. Never again. Thank you John!
BTW I really appreciate that you can still make me laugh!!
She was a narcissist. Same as mine. The anxiety she couldnt talk about to you was that she was lying to you. Same as mine. Ive watched a number of your videos and its uncanny how similar your story is to mine and I believe the common denominator is that we were both married to covert narcissists. You can set your watch to the way they behave which is why it is so important for young men to understand these personality disorders because they are difficult to spot when you are blinded by your hormones and lust. These women can and will destroy you without you seeing it coming. Cant emphasize enough how dangerous narcissists are.
It's not a Disorder, this is normal healthy behavior for the Gender, of course its more intense when there is a Pathology. The only exceptions are Muses and Unicorns but they are Rare and an Anomoly in the world and they dont really affect the Statistics.
Nothing worse than a corvert narc that turns on you. All that venom they held back for years is released.
Spoiler Alert: They are ALL narcissists!
@@Dan.50 🙂 correct, i wish the Narcissist Psychology channels would correct their thinking but they are dead set that its a genetic disorder, i guess because they want to legitimize their Licenses and Degrees in the Field. And too many naive people believe them.
You are dead on with this, my x was exactly the same.
Thank you John. I am a single woman in my 40s living in Africa. These talks are giving me a lot of self awareness and are helping to understand the other side of marriage that people do not talk about. What you have said about women getting addicted to the build up of the wedding and then failing to deal with the reality of just living as a married couple is true.
Brother you and listen my son has helped me in so many ways bless you