How To Stop Living As The Fake You And Start Living As The Real You

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  • Опубликовано: 15 янв 2025

Комментарии • 420

  • @melonydosremedios4587
    @melonydosremedios4587 Год назад +294

    “Allowing myself to be uncomfortable without being the savior!” You are incredible Heidi!! Thank you.

    • @Inthegardenofemd
      @Inthegardenofemd 11 месяцев назад +4

      even reading this sentence made me uncomfortable.... lots of work to do!

  • @slimsimchy9463
    @slimsimchy9463 Год назад +107

    That idea of allowing the discomfort and even pain to be present as you let yourself be there without wearing the social “mask,” it’s really, really powerful. After like 29 years of not ever feeling allowed to be openly myself without shame, I’m watching this and crying.
    Especially after socializing with new people yesterday, and letting them see tiny parts of my more vulnerable, true self without having to constantly dissociate.
    It’s terrifying, but on the other side of it it’s life-affirming. It makes you realize how prudent and knowledgeable you can be when leaving behind all of the false narratives about yourself perpetuated by family dysfunction and trauma.

  • @MsAleytys
    @MsAleytys Год назад +73

    my issue is not shame, but fear. i don't trust humanity to respect my authentic self. but a lot of the coping mechanisms are the same and these tips are really useful.

    • @Estilove1
      @Estilove1 6 месяцев назад +8

      I agree!!! I think it's because we felt shamed by someone close to us when we were younger

    • @Sara-x6t3s
      @Sara-x6t3s 2 месяца назад +1

      Yes I know that other's will not respect or honor my true self. My life has taught me that. Just the way it is for people who were abused as small children and never loved by anyone. I have learned to keep everyone at bay, let no one in, and always hide my true feelings. I used to try but it only got me hurt even worse every time. I am hoping I can learn to just love and accept myself. Hopefully I can eventually find a way in which to feel at least some joy that way. Peace seems to only exist with fantasy or intoxication. I guess that's just the effect of my existence.

    • @sherececocco
      @sherececocco 2 месяца назад +2

      I witness this as I have 2 choices.
      Fear and Love. As I was sitting with us a new awareness happened can you imagine if your path had only shame or love. Somehow shame people have it worst? Nope. I know our emotions are all equal. Brings me back to my arch nemesis Pitty.
      We need to mirror back exactly what we see or no one is loving. Tricky with trauma and I forgiven myself for I knew not what I was doing and ❤
      🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

  • @labradonretriever2043
    @labradonretriever2043 Год назад +176

    "The bigger the gap is from the reality of what we're thinking and feeling, and how we're behaving; the more difficult communication becomes."
    That single piece of advice right there resonated with my core. It sent a ripple through my entire being. So simple, to engage in actions that align with your true feelings, yet so brave to enact!

  • @Steph.mindset.mentor
    @Steph.mindset.mentor 11 месяцев назад +17

    I swear to god i have watched endless content on self help and your videos have changed my life!

  • @lyndadoerner5341
    @lyndadoerner5341 2 месяца назад +7

    “That future self is not a different person, but is more aligned with who we really are”. 👍💛

  • @sophietherese9117
    @sophietherese9117 Год назад +98

    wow, this was soooo helpful to me. I wonder if anyone else can relate, but I think this shows up in my consistently rewriting of texts/emails/comments. A friend texted me the other day, asking "how are you doing" and it took me all day to respond. ultimately, I ended up writing a chipper response, even though I've been going through a hard time. it's like a part of me feels like I owe everyone else a happy-go-lucky version of myself, a self that doesn't impose or burden anyone else. I now can see what kind of harm that does to my psyche. thank you, Heidi! so glad I found you!

    • @MaddyWoolf
      @MaddyWoolf Год назад +3

      You are definitely not alone in this! It's so great that you are able to recognize what's going on. You don't owe anyone a happy-go-lucky version! You be you ❤

    • @rongike
      @rongike 11 месяцев назад +4

      I wonder if that's actually a fear of being rejected if in fact others do feel burdened bc otherwise what it actually does is takes away opportunities of growth and authentic connection from other people.

    • @Photik
      @Photik 7 месяцев назад

      ​@@rongikerejection sensitivity disorder?

    • @aielianna
      @aielianna 6 месяцев назад +1

      Sometimes I just completely ignore the text altogether if I can’t manufacture a “proper” response 😅

    • @lyndadoerner5341
      @lyndadoerner5341 2 месяца назад

      It may be that texting is not the most conducive to authenticity? I stopped writing heartfelt emails years ago due to that issue.

  • @natsu-machi
    @natsu-machi Год назад +54

    The concept of not being a savior to every interaction has really stuck with me and informed my behavior this week (I think it was from this video, but it could have been a different one). I have always been blaming myself when interactions with people don’t go well, and now that I have the concept of not being a savior I’m able to interpret interactions in a more neutral way - if I find someone awkward to talk to, it really doesn’t mean anything more than that! And it doesn’t really matter! There are lots of other people I find interesting and fun to talk to. Very freeing.

    • @booksquid856
      @booksquid856 8 месяцев назад +2

      Wow. Thank you for highlighting that message

  • @bettina5755
    @bettina5755 9 месяцев назад +5

    Girl thank you so much. I used to be a people pleaser 2020/21 (and basically my whole childhood), and 2022 was the year I started healing. I don’t really please others anymore BUT I tend to detach from myself when feeling uncomfortable, WHAT makes me then please others.
    But it’s ok rn I can learn from it. Thank you for this video ❤ much love to you

  • @crazyjloop89
    @crazyjloop89 Год назад +75

    This!!! I’ve graduated from Patrick Teahan to Heidi University … bae and I are gonna start hosting watch parties featuring this healing content. Thank you. We’ve needed you for so long. We are so bruised out here.

    • @GodiscomingBhappy
      @GodiscomingBhappy 10 месяцев назад +6

      amen. I like Patrick too. watch parties hehehehe such a great idea. Good luck and blessings.

    • @saramichael3837
      @saramichael3837 9 месяцев назад +1

      I did the same! Can I also recommend Dr Tori olds als Dr Ingrid Clayton. Combined , they make the healthiest most nutritious meals!😂😂

    • @terrymcnamara9192
      @terrymcnamara9192 8 месяцев назад +3

      Tim Fletcher is great as well

    • @gaiabeleza
      @gaiabeleza 6 месяцев назад +1

      Where do you live, I’d join the watch parties!!

  • @Jenzy-K
    @Jenzy-K 7 месяцев назад +30

    After a 6 year journey healing a lifetime of disregulation, delusion, masking, limnerance, neurosis, narcistic traits, alexthemia and just wild wierd behaviour. ive finally landed on your channel. I had to become the person and crack myself open and i never gave up. Watching this channel enabled me to step into my new life within days. Honestly ive watched 1000s of hours over the years and finding all that i need on this channel to finally be free was like finding gold. Everything made sense. Seeing myself for the first time was so profound. I am so grateful. Incredible work and for free. Thankyou thankyou thankyou 🙏❤️

  • @abbede6
    @abbede6 Год назад +48

    Realising I am using these videos to numb out and considering turning off and feeling stuff... but then feeling there's too many feelings right now and I don't have time. Also, been routinely avoiding a selection of feelings for so long, it's hard to know where to safely start

    • @GodiscomingBhappy
      @GodiscomingBhappy 10 месяцев назад +2

      @abbede6 you are not alone... i am there too... Heidi is a fantastic place to start I feel. ☺

    • @samanthadonovan142
      @samanthadonovan142 8 месяцев назад

      Right here with you, in the present moment… 😂❤

  • @izzb8432
    @izzb8432 9 месяцев назад +7

    feeling disconnected from my “future self” and seeing her as an almost entirely different person has been at the root of my procrastination. i allow myself to screw over my future self (wether it be the me in 2 hours or the me in 2 years) because of this very disconnection. it’s been something i’m only realizing lately as i question my habits and patterns. thank you for acknowledging this.

    • @aielianna
      @aielianna 6 месяцев назад

      I felt this deeply 😢

  • @hannahlambbb
    @hannahlambbb Год назад +30

    I have half recognized my tendency to self-abandon… but god it feels so intimidating & vulnerable to not act the way I believe people expect of me in that moment. I hope I can move through these feelings & honor my authentic self. Thanks for this video.. much appreciated.

  • @michaelevans3904
    @michaelevans3904 Год назад +65

    Thank you Heidi. I feel like you may be the first person to accurately describe the nature of my difficulties. I am a 53 year old, born to an alcoholic family. My older half sister raised me until I was three. She got pregnant and moved out. My parents worked and hung out at bars. A 16 year old girl who came to babysit turned out to be a child molester. I burned down my house when I was 6. I suspect the molestation was frequent though I only have a couple of regained memories about it. I disassociate often. Violence was a constant threat until I left home at 12 years old. Gaaaaaaaawwwwd I'm a hot mess. I stopped dating when I was confronted with proof that I function with no recollection of having done so. I went through a great deal of self hate and regret for some of the beautiful hearts I have touched in the past. I was completely unaware of my dissasociative nature until I spent a year at a VA hospital.its all so strange I.have trouble believing it , even with CCTV footage to prove it , as well as testimony of other vets having seen me on campus and me not recognizing them, and seeming odd, like not answering to my name when called out to. I basically describe it as dissasociative amnesia, because other explanations terrify me. Thanks Heidi, sorry about the long message but I needed a shoulders to cry on this morning. Gratefully Yours, Michael Obie Evans.

    • @corvanphoenix
      @corvanphoenix Год назад +14

      The fact that you're looking for help in the right places is great. You deserve to be happy & free, never forget it, never doubt it. I hope you can find peace, even though it's so elusive. Keep searching for yourself, you can do this.

    • @sasquatchrosefarts
      @sasquatchrosefarts Год назад +3

      Gut flora. Focus on good food and digestion and hydration. And grow your body and brain. It'll heal.

    • @muradjadallah6399
      @muradjadallah6399 Год назад +4

      Love for you ❤

    • @briasunbury
      @briasunbury Год назад +5

      Thank you for sharing your testimony Michael, you are very strong and clear to be able to recognize your behaviors and work through them. Your efforts will be greatly awarded!!

    • @sharonjumba4648
      @sharonjumba4648 11 месяцев назад +4

      What a journey! You've held on, stayed put and wish that you'll keep getting better. Hugs.

  • @mcgremi5769
    @mcgremi5769 Год назад +49

    You have a gift with words and communication. You are doing exactly what you should be doing. Thank you for these videos and don't stop sharing your knowledge and wisdom!

  • @ElizaBailey-b6k
    @ElizaBailey-b6k Год назад +79

    Your videos are unbelievably helpful. Thank you! So often, my therapist will listen but not give practical steps for action. You set the table with fantastic examples and concrete verbs. Many, many thanks.

    • @Heyu7her3
      @Heyu7her3 Год назад +1

      Some are talk therapists. You could have that conversation about needing strategies.

    • @MaddyWoolf
      @MaddyWoolf Год назад +1

      Taking practical steps is so crucial! Of course listening (as in, what your therapist does) is important, but we all need actual tools to move forward!

  • @tessallations378
    @tessallations378 Год назад +43

    thank you so much heidi! i honestly think the adhd community in particular could use these words, as so many of us are detached from our true selves (avoidant) and then have no energy for the fake self. for myself i think of the fake self as a manager, it’s trying to make sure everyone likes me and things are going well, and it needs help realizing i’m an adult now and the other emotions are safe to bring to the table.

    • @legoguru3000
      @legoguru3000 9 месяцев назад +1

      Yeah I realized recently I don't even have a real personality underneath the mask anymore, basically everything I have was ana adaptation to deal with having ADHD

  • @nanochan1168
    @nanochan1168 8 месяцев назад +8

    Killing the false energy is the best thing ever. I realised how many people I actually don't like to talk to and who I really like 😊👍

  • @thatFellowTraveler
    @thatFellowTraveler Год назад +10

    I like this. The points on asking yourself what someone like you would do reminds me of George Kelly's therapy techniques. He would ask people to think of who they would like to meet at a party and then try to roleplay that person for a week.

  • @TakeMeToYourLida
    @TakeMeToYourLida 8 месяцев назад +7

    Realized, after someone came up to me at a bar, I defaulted into masking. It takes me being very conscious to stay authentic, and even then it feels almost unnatural like being naked in public, although that’s our natural state.

  • @keerthanajagadeesh6375
    @keerthanajagadeesh6375 Год назад +5

    Thanks so much Heidi.

  • @rustyshimstock8653
    @rustyshimstock8653 Год назад +2

    Solid Gold! 🏵

  • @_bluephoenix_
    @_bluephoenix_ Год назад +10

    Im on the path to my authentic self! All thanks to you and these invaluable videos.
    I have created the acronym PIPER
    Pause
    Identify
    Process
    Express
    Reflect.
    to remind myself.. if I find I'm in the drama triangle or overwhelmed with an emotion, I need to "sit with piper". Identifying my real/core emotion has been the hardest - I was taught to label/feel them incorrectly (most shame based) so recognising that instinctual feeling first is key to keeping the mask low and staying authentic!
    Often by the time I recognised shame/guilt, the mask was already on and context was lost with dissociation.
    The fear and excitement of discovering who I am... Better than any other roller-coaster I've been on before...😂

    • @becs_forlife
      @becs_forlife 2 месяца назад

      Love this. I will start piper too

  • @jordybpeterson9046
    @jordybpeterson9046 10 месяцев назад +2

    Why aren’t you famous already? You’re probably saving lives! An angel from heaven. Thank you god for sending your message through Heidi

  • @vanessakaliwo
    @vanessakaliwo Год назад +38

    Heidi… the way you explain these concepts that can otherwise be so difficult to grasp is simply beautiful. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us 🤗❤

  • @roshanrahealer
    @roshanrahealer Год назад +15

    Thank you for this video! I agree that numbing from emotions can cause us to feel badly. I have dissociative disorders, so until I started talking to myself and figuring out why I blacked out and behaved against my values, I didn't realize how little I knew about my values.
    I grew up as a scapegoat and likely have autism, so I started people pleasing at an early age, after traumas were disregarded by others. Now, I'm healing my self-love deficiency. It's been a long, arduous journey, but I'm finally to a point where I know what I want in life. Peaceful passion. Safe adventures. Self-expression in various artforms.
    This process turned my fear to share my past into a passion to share dark psychological fantasy adventures related to my past. I went from thinking it would be a 4-book series to 8-book series. As of last week, I've added 4 more books to the list, to show why the protagonists struggle so much in my self-published book. :)
    Your videos have inspired me many times. Thanks for all you do on this channel.

  • @humptydmt3439
    @humptydmt3439 Год назад +1

    God bless you Heidi

  • @emmacheney8628
    @emmacheney8628 Месяц назад +1

    Honestly - this video has put so many puzzle pieces together that I truely did not understand in myself - thank you 🙏

  • @gvb3109
    @gvb3109 Месяц назад

    The not allowing your false self to distract you from the negative emotions your feeling thereby preventing you from observing how you are feeling and why you are feeling it is definitely what got me. Great video

  • @luvpurple95
    @luvpurple95 Год назад +4

    So basically is to form a caring respectful relationship with yourself. And listen to yourself and have that self talk. And we can stay present with ourselves right now. And take action steps, do those things, put ourselves in environments that not only can nurture that future self but identify with how we feel on the inside. And you mentioned wanting to travel then becoming a digital nomad so that tells me that our authentic selves can change as we grow.

  • @the.emc33
    @the.emc33 Год назад +3

    It's interesting how many of your anecdotes feel like they're pulled directly out of my life. When I sit with that, it takes me to the realization that 1) my experiences are 'normal', 2) I am not 'special', 3) there is a valid reason why I am 'this way', 4) i am not alone, 5) i can take intentional steps to understand, acknowledge, and accept where i am today, 6) who i 'want to be' is already present in me, and 7) there is a way forward others have taken before me. In other words, there's light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for being part of that light reflecting back at us.

  • @Chigger
    @Chigger Год назад +7

    Listening to my inner authentic self, something that I started doing last year to help with feelings of extreme dread and terror, really helped me find peace within myself and be more confident in my capabilities.

  • @Bleseddd1
    @Bleseddd1 Год назад +28

    Youre the only person i feel safe watching

  • @anamaria-db7pq
    @anamaria-db7pq Год назад +87

    Heidi, I am so grateful for your recent videos on the topic of authenticity and toxic shame.
    I have 2 questions though:
    1: the problem is when I show how I really feel on the inside, namely, depressed, people reject me. Most people don't like depressed people, that is why I fake a happy face for years... how to deal with authenticity when feeling depressed?
    2: When I was a child and teenager I was very authentic and happy. The authenticity changed as I mentioned when I became depressed because my brain quickly learned and adapted to the fact that depressed mood is repelling to others. So I have two options: either I hide at home, which I did in the beginning which didn't help either, or to pretend like I am feeling good to normal. So I feel that my problem is not rooted in my childhood but what came after. I am in therapy of course and it helps me, but we don't go too deep into this topic... what do you think on that?

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 Год назад +26

      1. "when I show how I really feel on the inside, namely, depressed, people reject me"
      a) How do you know that being depressed is your True Self? Perhaps the chart True and False Self can help you. Google it.
      I made videos in my Psychological videos about what is False Self. Excerpt:
      "The false self, in Donald Winnicott's developmental schema, refers to certain types of false personalities that develop as the result of early and repeated environmental failure, with the result that the true self-potential is not realized, but hidden."
      Also:
      False Self -versus- Authentic Self:
      Others first - Self care
      Fix others - Self regulation
      Conforms - Speaks truth
      Repress & avoid - Express freely
      Validation & approval - Integrity
      b) Focusing on other people to feel good is called External referencing locus of control.
      There is intrinsic locus of control. Check these concepts too.
      c) Learn about Egocentrism - that we have ability to put ourselves in other people shoe's- The reason why people reject depressive people is because it is draining and they hurt seeing you being hurt. They cannot control you nor fix you - and you are walking wounded, not helping yourself. So - they will step back. When you are wounded - you are prone to become codependent and unable to manage your life. This is why we listen to Heidi videos in the first place-
      she is talking about steps how to step into our power without developing narcissism and fake persona of superiority. We are all dealing with depression - and it won't help if we are crabs in bucket pulling other people down.
      2. I think you are victim of Hypercognition. You get labeled as Depressive person and you believed this stigma and quick label and you develop person around this label that other people quickly put on you. You got mislabeled by others.
      In reality - it is probably you have mild ADHD - which is not sickness nor abnormality. It is neurodivergence. Check out online tests - more than one - and see what your levels of ADHD you have.
      It might also be Autism Spectrum.
      This is called spectrum because neurodivergence is not Boolean on or off, it is fuzzy logic, it is not black or white - it is gray.

    • @nbonasoro
      @nbonasoro Год назад +17

      You are not your depression or any other feeling. You are your hobbies, your values, the music and movies you enjoy, the collection of important moments in your life, the people you spend time with and help and your career/education.

    • @karinsolli9581
      @karinsolli9581 Год назад +5

      I think you can be try and depressed, but it’s hard when starting with new people. Biologically we avoid people that could drag us down (so sad because it’s mostly cruel and stupid). I think if you do everything research has shown helps depression, people will not hjudge you for your depression, but for your determination to fix it. You become a fighter. If your “simply depressed “ you drag people down as you say.

    • @karinsolli9581
      @karinsolli9581 Год назад +2

      *Try to be vulnerable

    • @anamaria-db7pq
      @anamaria-db7pq Год назад +8

      @@ranc1977 thank you for your elaborate comment and the recommendations!
      No, the depression is definitely not my true self. I also avoid saying "I AM depressed" because I don't want that to be my identity.
      I know that I am much more than that. And I am not exactly walking misery, it's just that I cannot always be happy go lucky. I am sometimes more stoic and then colleagues come up and sometimes ask me "is everything ok??" well, no it's not, but I cannot pretend all the time that it is... the pretense makes me sick...
      I am already trying to make things better and to work things out in my life but I cannot do more...
      I made an ADHD test a few times and my result was always negative. However I have a constantly running mind, I think a lot and have concentration problems, cannot focus very well on one task...
      Autism is out of question, or at least not above the average in population..

  • @peacelandhaven
    @peacelandhaven 3 месяца назад +3

    For the longest time, I thought I had to be "perfect" to be worthy of love. But now I realize that true love and acceptance come when you’re your most authentic self. 💖✨ How are you all embracing your imperfections?

  • @BenOnuMuDiyorum
    @BenOnuMuDiyorum Год назад +1

    Teşekkürler.

  • @IzumiChenmeiru
    @IzumiChenmeiru Год назад +8

    I don't trust that I can speak for my authentic self, I think they're in a coma and I can only guess what they would want, but I feel like I'm just going to get it wrong and upset them anyway.

  • @wisenotwithered5018
    @wisenotwithered5018 Год назад +7

    This video is AMAZING. I at first stopped watching after a minute or so, thinking "I know myself really well and show up authentically in almost all situations, I don't need to hear this." And even though I do still think I know myself very well and do show up authentically in almost all situations, it was so profound to hear your perspective on awkward situations and "rushing into a fawn response" with close friends/relationships. I thought I didn't need to hear this but it was actually SO helpful. I really love your videos!!!

  • @laserprincessart
    @laserprincessart Месяц назад

    This is sooo helpful! I've known for a while that I'm not especially authentic nor am I willing to be vulnerable because I don't know who I really am. Thinking about someone outside of myself and asking what she'd be doing is so helpful! Thank you very much.

  • @Brinaweenahwoo
    @Brinaweenahwoo Год назад +491

    Heidi, seriously... You could literally patent your playlist on attachment and healing, plus recommend that folks read widely on childhood trauma, narcissistic families, shame, nonviolent communication, etc, sell it and be like a billionaire. I'm just saying... 😊❤️💰

    • @The_Vanished
      @The_Vanished Год назад +3

      Yes, people are real and you can tell real fake ones. We are allowed to process emotions verbally with other people. We all need a few friends we can do that with. Speech and textual communication can be different for your audience, such as social communication, business communication, public communication. Emotions are signals and not weapons of abuse. We can be indifferent if we want and having to play a role for people is not healthy. We call that "Autism" it's when you are broken by those around you and life in fear if shame and uphold some rules with immediate defensive verbal aggression. If I "make you feel bad" that's some dumbass infant shit. Resolve your emotional meltdowns like a good autistic maybe you'll grow out of toddlerism aka Autism aka never growing out of the auts like one through ten years old) one day. Most adults can take in information and then make a conscious decision. ADHD is real, more extensive, more damaging, more important to have treated and then you have to like put effort in. Because yeah if you take stimulants you might still have ADHD and just move and act like a baby faster. So like meditate. Start deep breathing. Pay attention to your thoughts. Start questioning your assertions or assumptions. Children need support and are highly damaged by crap parenting, even if the information you throw back says it doesn't. Your kids end up like shit, "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." The actions of your children are indirectly responsible for your treatment of them. They'll either become an abuser or maybe they can nurture people even when it's absolutely difficult because people are still abusive towards being a normal caring person.

    • @MS-bs8dd
      @MS-bs8dd Год назад +3

      Yes. So wise.

    • @cassassin13
      @cassassin13 Год назад

      youtube.com/@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

    • @crazyjloop89
      @crazyjloop89 Год назад +35

      I would hope she keeps these intellectual resources free af cuz ya girl is in RUclips therapy since outside of this it’s an arm and a leg. Technically she’s getting paid via RUclips ads and I hope she becomes wealthy and stays with us and doesn’t take away this gem 💎 ❤ she can totally promote workshops online and in person and write books and have treatment groups and make an arm and a leg… we would know that we love her and would throw our money at her. ❤

    • @YouilAushana
      @YouilAushana Год назад +5

      Copyright or trademark. Not sure if she invented this.

  • @fatimahibrahim1618
    @fatimahibrahim1618 2 дня назад

    Thanks so so much. Exactly what i need. I've played a fake identity so much that it became my sense of self.

  • @saramichael3837
    @saramichael3837 11 месяцев назад +1

    In the past eight months your videos have taken up a new dimension! It’s mature content for real! Whoever wants to be seriously challenged should be on here.
    You have helped me mature like never before and I am 46! Thank you for sharing all this for free!🤩♥️

  • @gregwent1220
    @gregwent1220 9 месяцев назад +1

    I just have to let you know what a blessing you are to me.

  • @ladybella2762
    @ladybella2762 Месяц назад

    Hi Heidi! I started with your channel last year to improve myself and all the relationships around me without knowing I'd soon be on my spiritual journey. Now I am back here, to watch this 'how to be authentic' video, after learning it is the highest frequency we can be in. I want to say THANK YOU. You are one of those who paved the way to my true healing. Sending love and light and letting you know you are truly awesomely touching people's lives!

  • @sk8btrue
    @sk8btrue Месяц назад +1

    I love your teaching style

  • @lilylebowsky5908
    @lilylebowsky5908 2 месяца назад

    People pay for this stuff!!! Love this video. Thank you

  • @korbanman
    @korbanman Год назад +10

    You are amazing, and all of your videos go straight to my favorites. Thank you!

    • @Brinaweenahwoo
      @Brinaweenahwoo Год назад +1

      Me too! I download all of her videos and listen while I walk or on long road trips. 😊

  • @jacquestuan
    @jacquestuan Год назад +7

    Heidi, your videos continue to be incredibly fantastic. The growing awareness and consideration for myself is becoming REALLY uncomfortable, but that's also the name of the game as you describe it. Even at 42, this feels like one of the most developmentally challenging parts of my life, but you're definitely giving me some great tools and direction to work with. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. 🙏🏼

  • @PauliEvansBlack617
    @PauliEvansBlack617 Год назад +7

    I have seen this video three times already trying to un pretzel my brain around it. It makes so much sense, I am still not sure since when I started using that social mask but I will start to acknowledge it with baby steps.
    I am super grateful Heidi, thank you for this amazing information. ☺️

  • @mellison1007
    @mellison1007 7 месяцев назад +1

    You have the gift of clarity, I could listen to you all day, such a refreshing change to hear someone who truly make’s sense in what they say on this issue.
    I also think that partners should attend mandatory classes to be educated about these issues regarding partners who have their authentic life issues, as your clarity to these partners could save the number of related divorces, unfortunately I am too late to be helped.
    However that said, I will be living as my alternative self shortly.

  • @Shanpres1234
    @Shanpres1234 2 месяца назад

    So close but not quite there. What you are describing is fawning and there has been so much new information in the last two years on this, your video deserves and update.

  • @joshliam1967
    @joshliam1967 Год назад +6

    This is what I've wanted to do for years so I'm excited to watch this!

  • @spyroluver0951
    @spyroluver0951 Год назад +4

    man this is great timing again. Can you please help with an in-depth video on Doing and Being. I couldn't believe self esteem was low because of the doing mindset. Thanks

  • @srwarner3346
    @srwarner3346 Год назад

    You are describing ASD and masking , it is so real ! We cannot " unmask " without consequence !

  • @NaturalmenteFrugal
    @NaturalmenteFrugal Год назад +5

    I’m rewatching and taking notes. Awesome!! Thank you so much..❤️

    • @amarbyrd2520
      @amarbyrd2520 Год назад

      There's really a lot here, isn't there

  • @oober3690
    @oober3690 Год назад +5

    Heidi, you nailed it again! This is an excellent video!

  • @justincase7524
    @justincase7524 Год назад +1

    Just wanted to say how attractive I find your personality. I know it’s probably mostly honed for video with so many subs, but it still rings as “you”. And I love it. ❤️

  • @GackFinder
    @GackFinder 5 месяцев назад +1

    My authentic self always gets me into trouble socially because people in general don't seem to be able to handle truthful statements about the world

    • @DemiDesignsBlenheim
      @DemiDesignsBlenheim 12 дней назад +1

      Look into mindfullness towards yourself, then others. I hope that helps

  • @maxzoe948
    @maxzoe948 Год назад +5

    Just discovered your channel. I've done deep therapy work for over a decade and want to say, your methods and ways of looking at psychological improvement are brilliant and so incisive. Greetings from Australia!

  • @yasminmihlar1930
    @yasminmihlar1930 8 месяцев назад +1

    you are fantastic at communicating/presenting what you know about fixing ourselves or working on ourselves! Thanks

  • @ajmacbeth
    @ajmacbeth 2 месяца назад

    This is really touching home. I'm gonna be re-watching this often. Thank you.

  • @themistoclesnelson2163
    @themistoclesnelson2163 Год назад +5

    2nd video in a row that was exactly what I needed! Thank you!

  • @sixcups4895
    @sixcups4895 Год назад +4

    So much wisdom. I'm so grateful I recently found your channel.

  • @samwebb1014
    @samwebb1014 Год назад +7

    Love this and perfectly timed too. Thanks once again. This has really helped me to reflect and understand why I was feeling down and icky. I had dissociated from feelings of discomfort ! Detaching from my true self x

  • @crystalding5589
    @crystalding5589 Год назад

    Emotional exposure training with compassion is the term I'm coming up with around 12 mins, this is such a privilege to be watching. Thanks.

  • @deroux
    @deroux 11 месяцев назад +1

    As a Transgender woman I found your video helpful and resonated with some things I'm going through right now.. Thank you so much.

  • @tumblingrosesstudio
    @tumblingrosesstudio Год назад +1

    I had about a 25 year period of deep emotional pain and watching this was the first time I've felt how hard that period was and how much I wish I had not had to go through that time. I'm in a period that's not ideal and it's ringing that bell in my inner self all over again. But these videos are helping me process and I'm sure I will find more peace on the other side of this

  • @Elethia441
    @Elethia441 Год назад +3

    Wow, you nailed me with creating an uber good impression on first dates! I was wondering what that was.. I thought maybe I just wanted to show them a good time.. maybe I just wanted to be liked and get validation despite the fact I am not interested one bit on them.. maybe I just wanted to show up from an aspirational self.. maybe all of the above. It doesn't matter right now, because I see the fact that I am not being my authentic self. I don't even know whether it's a good or a bad thing, or something in the middle. I am just glad I can see that's true and I can start studying it. So thanks for the insight! Great example!

  • @XtinaDaGr8
    @XtinaDaGr8 Год назад +10

    This lady deserves a Nobel Peace Prize

    • @jobfcastro22
      @jobfcastro22 5 месяцев назад

      More than that I believe

  • @pennyhare925
    @pennyhare925 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you ! So good ! I’m a late bloomer ! At 61 still learning how to be myself, i still have no idea but i like the feeling im having now , questioning

  • @rdwz
    @rdwz Год назад +4

    it's incredible how much output you have, truly inspiring and i also got your survival guide,, too much for a t comment, BUT lately every piece of that puzzle just came into my awareness.. thank you!!

  • @isaaca6445
    @isaaca6445 Год назад

    OMG! This woman is incredible. Such clarity and lucidity in her explanations. ❤️

  • @mfernandaalves5699
    @mfernandaalves5699 Год назад +2

    Can't thank you enough for your videos: Clear, no bs, encouraging, truly helpful! 🙏

  • @caitlin9781
    @caitlin9781 Год назад +2

    Heidi, you are such a wonderful gem here on RUclips. You share SUCH valuable information!!

  • @agent-row11
    @agent-row11 8 месяцев назад

    I don't always implement all of the steps and practices you suggest in your video, but I love that I always walk away feeling grateful to be seeing my struggles with anxiety from a more detailed and sensible perspective. I was genuinely excited at the end of the video to have gained new tools for extracting my inner badass

  • @kgerrish24
    @kgerrish24 9 месяцев назад +2

    Heidi, this is great, I needed to hear this as it further validates the journey I've been on and how far I've truly come. Thanks for posting great content. Have a great week! :)

  • @robinrood3529
    @robinrood3529 Год назад

    HI Heidi, I have been running away from intimacy with partners because it feels so scary, in my healing journey, I constantly feel that that scary feeling, becomes less scary because I am accepting that it's happening, I know it takes time and I have to be patient with myself ,learning to trust and bring myself in the present moment, It really scare me to hurt or reject the other person or that the other person loses interest... because I really like them but there is a huge fear in me of getting too close or even have physical intimacy with them. In the end I end up pushing everyone away from me.
    I have to say that your videos has been changing my life for the good, I haver learned so much from them, I want to thank you for this.
    Robin

  • @jessicasmith5338
    @jessicasmith5338 18 дней назад

    Hello Heidi,
    Maybe I haven't searched through your videos enough. Maybe you already have videos about this. But after watching this video, I realized how mad I am at some people in my life. I feel so lost about how to even start sharing those feelings. These authenic feelings of anger which feel like they would just cause more disruption and pain within relationships.

  • @SeelenTaucher
    @SeelenTaucher Год назад +5

    Blessings. Authentic Souls. Happy Transformations Guys. Dear sister Heidi, I felt your internal Fights. Your great experiences, vulnerability, Work, and speeches have helped in amazing ways to heal and understand more in depth. Thanks lots.🙏🏻💖
    Greets from Enfp gone trough every Attachmentstyle, and stuff. Healing Connection to self and Others now. 🌎🌟 Spiritual x Psychology aka Soulknowledge. Consciousness, awakening, Diving and doing Shadow Work as Jung told, First might be very hurtful, but than makes us free and easy to BE soulful. 🌸🌺

  • @bjornlongsides8161
    @bjornlongsides8161 Год назад +1

    I like how your examples are always so grounded and relatable. It really makes my experiences feel valid.

  • @TheIngale
    @TheIngale Год назад +2

    You are a Gift in my life :)

  • @robertjchoi5012
    @robertjchoi5012 Год назад

    The way you convey these ideas and solutions is so crisp and clear. I ❤ it. Thank you so much!

  • @sweetspacesessions9813
    @sweetspacesessions9813 Год назад +1

    You truly are an amazing communicator! I relate so deeply with your words and feel it is exactly what I need to hear.

  • @free2tingleasmr918
    @free2tingleasmr918 Год назад +1

    This is very powerful. Thank you for what you do.

  • @wiebkeb9174
    @wiebkeb9174 4 месяца назад

    Just... thank you again for explaining it the way you're explaining it❤

  • @sharondavidson4957
    @sharondavidson4957 2 месяца назад

    My first time listening to you and loved it all! Thank you!

  • @GiveHerFlowers
    @GiveHerFlowers 6 месяцев назад

    Thanks!

  • @deroux
    @deroux 11 месяцев назад

    I especially loved the last part of this video. Spiraling up!

  • @monicricri
    @monicricri Год назад +2

    Heidi your videos are so cool! I find so much value in them

  • @el0blaino
    @el0blaino Год назад +1

    Very helpful to hear the message of being more courageous about dealing with the fears and anxieties and putting a foot out the door.

  • @JohnTanquary
    @JohnTanquary Год назад

    I just wonder about verbing "savior" or at least gerunding it ;)) Just joshing. Heidi speaks with the authority of someone who's waded through her own struggles in thee areas. Very useful insights abound.

  • @karenherrera287
    @karenherrera287 4 месяца назад

    Heidi, thank you for your practical advice ❤

  • @brianmcdaniel260
    @brianmcdaniel260 8 месяцев назад

    I have never heard about most of this information before and it really, really sounds like me. Thank you for this video.

  • @Ashley--L
    @Ashley--L Год назад

    Amazing. NLP, IFS explained so powerfully!

  • @jaitanninen
    @jaitanninen Год назад +1

    this particular video really made some confusing things click into place for me & thank you for that

  • @patrickpoland9223
    @patrickpoland9223 Год назад

    Your emotions and intelligence shines true!!😃😘

  • @SirBrando.
    @SirBrando. 6 месяцев назад

    I just wanted to say that you have literally saved my life by making this content, thank you!

  • @Julieber1
    @Julieber1 9 месяцев назад +24

    For me, being my authentic self is being an Anime Magical Teen Girl Goddess.

  • @SOGSouljah
    @SOGSouljah Год назад +3

    Heidi, watched your depression survival guide and I really loved your personal story. I recognize the effort you have been putting in with all these amazingly insightful new videos. Thank you!! PS you are extremely attractive 😘