Never Put ANYONE On A Pedestal... (Don't Ignore)
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- Most people ignore this, but they really shouldn't... Discover no one is really "better" than you!
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JULIEN's INSTAGRAM: / julienhimself
Julien Blanc (AKA JulienHimself) is a Swiss-born, U.S.-based self-help speaker, entrepreneur and transformational coach.
Since 2010, he has been traveling around the world and has personally coached tens of thousands of clients face to face... Empowering them to create massive success in their lives!
His record-breaking programs Transformation Mastery, Transformation Mastery Live, Transformation Mastery Live Advanced, Transformation Mastery Academy & Transformation Mastery Mentoring help people around the world achieve the HEALTH, WEALTH, RELATIONSHIPS & HAPPINESS they deserve!
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Never Put ANYONE On A Pedestal... (Don't Ignore)
Stop putting people on a pedestal! In this video, Julien Blanc (AKA Julien Himself) reveals how putting someone on a pedestal destroys your self confidence and growth... Discover the truth about Julien Blanc's past, his scandal and the most important lesson he learned from it.
#julienblanc #julienhimself
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Comment your biggest takeaway below! (I personally read through EVERY single comment)
👉 LEARN HOW TO LET GO: www.julienhimself.com/8p
🚨 WATCH ME NEXT
- I studied social anxiety in thousands of clients: ruclips.net/video/jCTgb-pxssE/видео.html
- If I had low self esteem, I'd do this first: ruclips.net/video/s9yrMPIJHC8/видео.html
- Stop chasing a specific person and instead do this: ruclips.net/video/DDmqrbSdzPo/видео.html
- What I did to improve my social skills: ruclips.net/video/pCZdJiGSk8g/видео.html
👉 ATTEND A LIVE EVENT: www.noanxietytour.com
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Hi i love all your meditations.. And yes I want to transform my self and my situations.. But I am 40 plus.. Can I join your transformation course... Is there any age bars?
I realize I had my wife on a pedestal for years. I unbalanced our relationship and after 26 years she asked to separate. When you invest so much of yourself in others and not in yourself, your lack of self development can literally cost you what you love the most.
So sorry to hear. I wish you the best. It seems like a noble deed but women do not truly want this. There has to be balance or at least enough self-respect
Wish you the best I did the same thing to my Ex fiance after she cheated i put her on this pedestal to be this perfect person that would go to couples counseling and then we would work on it together. I then realized I was smothering her by my actions. I also realized I was loving her in ways I wanted to be loved. So I was a little blindsided at first when she broke up with me especially when we had a house a daughter etc involved. Wishing you the best!
Absolutely true.
@DaPhillyCarGuru No More Mr Nice Guy by Dr Robert Glover
Best Advice : Keep a " common place journal handwritten with images and thoughts". You speed up by 2 (x) or 4(x) depending of the subject your porcess of healing and understanding.
We're all accountable for the honour we have within us. Don't excuse your ex for cheating because she's good at being funny, or socially astute.
Best word : Individuation by carl yung
Donad glover is one of the best examples as of now what men should try to search as a middle ground.
God bless
I put her up on a pedestal 🙄 Devoted 10 years of my life to making "her" happy.. I Gave up my hobbies, my friends, even members of my own fucking family.. 😮 I just wanted her to like me & want me, My life was all about her..
I'm here now trying to fix myself..
Guys who get married are simps
You never needed to give up all those things that make you you. With the right person you can have all that and they’ll be happy for you doing all the things you love. They’ll compliment your life so well that none of that will have to change for them to fit in your life. You gotta pour into yourself first so have things to give to others. ❤
Put yourself back on that pedestal. I’m proud of you for realizing what happened and I think you’ll do great getting back to who you really are. Just know you aren’t broken you just needed to learn the best way to love is by putting yourself first and not feel like you need to perform for others to love you❤
"If you care about approval, then you care about disapproval " key
It straight hit my heart
I swear, I think some of the most well-adjusted (therefore, peaceful) people are the ones that not only _accept_ their shortcomings, weaknesses and flaws.... but they even go so far as to ....... _embrace_ them . . . . . . . 😱 ....... life goals👈
This is the way... 🙏
and if we ALL got 'em ... which we all do ... WHY so much shame and embarrassment about it?!? 🤨🤨 ...doesn't make any sense
hope this doesn’t get taken down. right time type of thing for me. great video.
Glad this was impactful for you!
I love Julien’s videos too
ego is effort. The more effort you put in to put out a front the more your into your ego. I like that. I automatically think of egotistical people as douche bags but me trying to seek validation and wanting everyone to like me is still egotistical. I am constantly seeking validation. And im always worried about what others think, even though i dress crazy and psychedelic and have no filter...its like im two people. Im masking. And it gets exhausting. That death meditation sounds intriguing. Im going to look into that.. Also, I saw an interview you had with Teal Swan a million years ago, you should totally do one again! Your so much more aware and chill and...grown up. 😊 You definitely seem to be an old soul and I think now you guys could have some really interesting conversations.
great comment!
I’ve been wanting a new one now too. She was leagues ahead of him back then, in a nice and helpful way obviously, but I want a new one now that he has grown so much
When I found your channel, I was hesitant to follow because of the media backlash I heard before. But I listened, and your ministry has been helpful to me. Followed after a few vids. Not that it’s worth anything when I say this, but you’re a good dude, Julien.
I realized that i’m not afraid of people, i’m just afraid of myself and i don’t know what the outcome will be when having a conversation with a stranger.
It’s like i change personality and i become a robot..
Again i’m not really afraid of the person i’m talking with, i just turn into a “robotic stutter loser” mode (even if it sounds self harming)
that’s what i become, and i really can’t control it at that moment.
I’ve tried letting go many times, and it did help a lot, but sometimes the awkwardness is still there when i’m speaking.
I could really let go and be myself if i’d want to, but the more i do it, the more this robotic weird personality becomes visible.
No..I don’t want to hide my real personality, what i wanna hide is my awkwardness and nervousness.
I guess i can’t get over social anxiety until i actually show that i have social anxiety..
Tge more you try to hide it, the more you think about it, the more anxious you will feel...
That tpught of it just cames from the feeling, you disnt had the feeling you wouldnt think about it.
Just like when you go take a cold shower, notice how when you beginz toughts of "maybe better not, maybe is bad for me..." comes.
Same in social situations, you go talk, you feel the disconfort, and your brain try to get you out of tge situation. But its a body alarm, not a real danger, you can ignore the alarm, and relax into it.
You can even try one day to try to stutter or soubd strange with someone stranger, just to have a experience to show that nothing happens
Aww, man, you cut the video right before I asked my question about grief. Cool stuff though! I appreciated you having an intimate chat with us at the end of the seminar.
Thank you for sharing your story Julien!!! Your videos helped me through a very dark time, alongside therapy of course. Now being in college studying psychology, hoping to be able to help other people... using information to support others is SO much more fulfilling than doing everything from a place of needing external approval. We're human beings, we shouldn't have to prove our worth nor justify our existence ♡
I was there during the PUA era.. and oddly I went through my own spirituality phase that taught me a lot of the concepts Julien teaches today. Like my long lost brother or something.
Listen to Julien and apply these concepts. They will free you. You will back slide.. and you’ll need to continue applying these concepts or the illness WILL return. It’s all internal work. It’s hard work. But it will be a night and day difference in your outlook and enjoyment of life.
Proverbs 20:30
"Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways" it was the awakening, in the stage currently.
Feeling relief just listening to this. Thank you for your openness and putting things into perspective.
You're welcome! I'm glad this was impactful! 🙏
Pre-scandal Julien is almost a different person from post-scandal Julien. Big fan of both they each brought something very unique and helpful the table for me. I think they should each be on the Mount Rushmore of social self help 😸
where can i find those old videos?
@nicolasg6983 they don't exist. Well they probably do somewhere but a lot of em are gone now and scrubbed off the web. It's a real shame because the old stuff still has a lot of value imo especially for beginners. I still use what I can remember but I'd love to be able to go back and rewatch em
Julien I hope you find peace and stay in it. Even in chaos there is peace even in calmness there is peace.
One of the top, thanks for everything you’re doing here!
You're so welcome! 🙏
This was my first event. As much as I enjoy the videos there is something to say about experience this live. It was an eye opener for me and had some major take aways from this. Thanks for a great event!!
Forgot one of my biggest takeaways if you use money as an excuse how badly do you really want it. If you wanted bad enough you would find away to get the money to afford it.
Julien you're awesome man. To see how much you've grown and matured over the years and how spiritual you've become, is just awesome
Bro you are a Life saver
🙏🙏
I’ve been loving your content so much recently. Thank you 🙏🏽
You're very welcome! 🙌
I found Juliens channel a while ago and recently have gone through my own sink or swim situation of letting go of other people’s opinions. These videos are helping me find that raw clarity and though it’s hard to accept at first, as far as I can tell, his talks about “you’re still you no matter what praise or criticism you receive” are completely true and freeing
8:03
When you said this, in this particular moment, shivers ran down my spine. I... just felt it, "it's just suicide" is such a beautiful phrase... this video was incredible and this is my first time hearing about you ever, even if i'm 22 and so the news maybe had reported you here in italy (even if i doubt). Everything you said it's just incredible and even if i don't have gone through all you had, i still feel you. Don't know how to end this comment ^^' so i will say i'm lucky for having found you. You have a new follower i guess XD
Really thank you, hope these videos will be more and more popular, they are really useful :]
Ego= effort, the more effort u put in, the less authentic and real you're being🙏🏿👍 quite the line Julien!
Yes! Glad that part resonated with you! 🙏
@@JulienHimself youre changin lives man
Dude I love this guy. Definitely a good example on how to be a better person
This lesson was phenomenal! I learned so much. I'm going to use your death meditation more regularly. I forgot how helpful it was to me and how much clarity it brought me my first time through it.
This guy I recently discovered his RUclips channel he's amazing. I'm surprised he needs more subscribers yes maximum subscribers please.
Welcome to the channel! I'm glad my content resonates with you! 🙏
Love you sharing your truth as I coach the same way as there is a trap with healing which is that this one episode of therapy will “fix” you
Thank you for that video. I really admire you and your efforts.🙌👏
hey, just posting this here.
I wanted to let you know that you are doing great but why so 2012?
What I mean is your website, your content looks pretty old ( unless you intended it to be this way then it is something else) But I think that a lot of people are going through a lot and more so due to The "tiktokification" of everything
people are becoming more and more polarized and more messed up than ever.
A lot of are people in need of these words are missing out on this. Based on how your content overall is positioned.
and also I would say that you as a content creator/coach are missing out on new ways to communicate to others and you should look really deep into it.
I dont know you from the days you started or olden 2014 days but i saw 3-4 videos of you and you seemed very genuine and your words gave me a new perspective to think about.
Keep doing the good work!
I need to get myself a giraffe Julien. My logic is how can anyone be upset with themselves as long as they have a giraffe.... the problem is what kind of wall can I build to house the giraffe?
I mean you have storytelling, giraffe dude. "I have a giraffe."
It's hard to hate someone that you know owns a giraffe.
You bring people over, and it's like talking about a car, except it's a giraffe. Endless conversation.
Closures? No problem. "Hey buddy, you come back anytime, my giraffe Cliff and I, will be right here!"
Not to mention the coolness factor.
You're instantly a star. No one can beat you. You have a giraffe.
Was talking about this the other day and boom this video. Haven’t listened yet, so don’t know the content (will have to later today). Just wanted to say this is the reason we have the world we have today. We overesteem men - something talked about in Stoicism and Eastern Philosophies - and it leads to giving them all the power and leaving ordinary people with nothing. Why listen to your fellow brother or sister in the street or help them out when they are in our minds “nobodies?”
EGO=EFFORT
💥💥
🔥👊
This video was the cause for a 4h rollercoaster trip inside the deepest parts of my brain looking for my true self, what life's about and so on. I feel fully exhausted but truly found inner peace and enlightment this night.
It really feels like the last part of the video (putting frames on things and "julien event") was the last puzzle-piece of informations needed
i highly recommend reading "become what you are" by alan watts..or just look up the meaning of "finger pointing to the moon"
Maybe even wanna check out dieter lange
Wish you all reading this a beautiful journey and thanks julien for the wisdom you shared❤️
You are spilling literal truth!
Would be great if you could make a video on the meek dominating, just thought when someone is weak, they’re viewed as amenable and bendable so investing in them is worthwhile. They’re given the main responsibility
Hey Julien do you have any recommendations for new books? Thank you
once you mentioned that cold showers are the best way to practice letting go. Can someone practice it with holding breath, I mean the sensations we get from holding breath are extremely intense ( i would say more than cold shower) so if we try to relax into it... will it help in the long-term?
I wouldn't suggest holding your breath... Breathing INTO the sensations is crucial when it comes to letting go.
So like I should break when I get triggered or the sensation comes?
This is why I like you, you don’t have an ego
I am just me :) I've always put everyone in my life on a pedestal and even myself if I were praised for something - it made me super stressed and frustrated to meet these high expectations I thought they'd want me on. I feel so much relief realising I don't need to do that, and I can have that nice, relaxing haaaaaaa, aha.
love your sir
thanks for all your experience and sharing with us
🙏🙏🙏 THanks!
How do you deal with "playing not to lose"?
Yeah fr i have been wondering that
just lose and be free
One of the richest posts I’ve seen of yours. Thank you
There's nothing special about me, I dropped out of school was given the chance at college and dropped out of that too. I never stuck to any job, I either quit or got fired, just like every other relationship I quit those too. So if I can find success and financial freedom then you can do it too. Stay Uncommon!
Do you think you’ll be sharing more about buying into a frame?
I go into EXTREME DETAIL when it comes to frames in High Vibe Communication... Check it out! 👉 www.highvibecommunication.com/hvc
I love you julien bro
🙏
this was s good one! and yea u learned your lesson, we forgive you. Otherwise I wouldnt get this right now, when I need it. Universe is weird.
Thanks for this amazing video julien ❤. I have a question... You told that we won't feel anything or won't get triggered if someone judges about our blue hair when we actually don't have it... I understand this example... But if someone is triggering us by pointing out an existing part of us then what to do? How to deal with that trigger?
...And that's why letting go is the way! 🎉🎊
You talked before in video's about saying that "when I was younger, I did the best I could with the information I knew at that time".
But I knew back then already, that I was lazy and didn't do the work to become better mentally.
So technically I didn't do my best back then, because I was lazy.
I did maybe once a month a small thing. Like watching a video or something.
How do I handle or what do I do with this?
And I still feel the same now, but I'm doing al lot more because I have to for work, relationships, everyday life etc.
Just want to hear your opinion about that.
Because you have the knowledge.
Hello Julian, great vid as always! I have a question: is it ok for my authentic me to change over time? For example from a bit rude and brutal to more gentle and thoughtful? Is it ok for me to want to become someone i wish to be? For example its hard for me at the moment to express gratitude such as saying thank you, because it is not what i am used to. Does feeling that you want to do something or be someone but fearing to do so is a sign of putting on a comfortable mask instead of doing something you authentically wish to do? I am not sure if its my authentical wish to be more grateful and more gentle towards others, however i still wish to be that person. Should i change myself, and is it okay? Is it okay to make changes which are making me more pleasing to people if its my desire to become a more pleasing person because i would feel much better being more grateful and gentle?
Wow that's a pretty unique story man
Best advice so far, Julian. Came from personal experience. I deeply appreciate this. 🙂
I actually looked it up expecting to see Trump but you actually popped up 😂. What a life. You’ve helped me so much
Julien always dresses so ridiculous haha. Just constantly peacocking. Good shit
Curious on the frame thingy
so imposing frame you set a frame for what you belive the other person is and maybe be warped by anxiety
resonates.
1:03 YES this is the concept I was just thinking about. We all know diff things in diff domains
2:37 omg yes they want the cliff notes lol. I’d hate this part of advice bc I feel like ppl just want to use me to gather all the knowledge for them & then just give them the summary. Like mf. Get a grip.
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your DNOTS. I feel see. 🙏
You're so welcome! 🙏
What does DNOTS mean?
I absolutely don’t give a Fcuk about the scandal about you. I’ll keep on rooting for you. Go, Man ! Keep Blooming ✨
The event was your version of a "satori" experience
Is there a way to access the death mediation?
how to rezist in all of this fricking attention spamm societies its feels like everyone is doing this without their consent and it feels like we are manipulated
You are my specialz
U mean, I have to wait till u come with the perfect video.
/s
😂
I sometimes put others on pedestals, but it's in order to manipulate myself into assigning more worth to them, which helps me care more about them. But I try to put their person on a pedestal, rather than basing my praise on their actions (as this would put a pressure on them and make my evaluation conditional).
Why would I do this? It's because I'm a bit arrogant. By over-evaluating other people, I balance out my own arrogance.
The only problem with this approach is that other people, rather than thinkning well about themselves when I praise them, look down on me instead, which hurts my pride, which causes me to do things which signal competence, like causing a situation which makes it socially acceptable to tell everyone what university degree I have.
By the way, nice job on your recovering from that situation. I've been through more than most, but I haven't been trash talked by the news like that. Most people wouldn't survive the live I've lived, but I'm also not sure that I could have survived yours.
thats really unfortunate that other people look down on you when you praise them. thats kind of my main tool in making friends currently, its very easy for me to see the best qualities in the worst people which is why its easy for me to put people on pedestals. i think it makes people appreciate me though, since it makes them feel seen. i usually do get the subservient role in power dynamics though like idk its probably because of that yeah. except for my best friend, she lets me take the spotlight as much as she does which is why i cherish her so much. ive never had to ask her to do that, she genuinely appreciates me as much as i do her.
@eline7214 I think it happens if you praise too much or too easily, it removes some of the value of your praise. Or if you praise somebody for doing something at which you're better. It may be best to praise people for the things that they do better than you, that way everyone can be acknowledged for whatever they specialize in. And people tend to like those who like them, and actions speak louder than words so merely showing good will towards people goes a long way. Some things are vulgar when put into words, but appealing when shown through actions.
Another thing I've found works is to keep oneself from noticing flaws in others. It makes it easier to relax around you since people tend to be terrified of being judged.
The subservient role is not necessarily bad, as long as you have value in that role. It's fine to receive more than you give, as long as you appreciate what you're given. Appreciation is a kind of repayment, it acknowledges the value of the giver. It's more difficult to like ungrateful people.
By the way, praising other people might also make them think well of you. But getting people to think well of *themselves* - that's more difficult
@@amorfati4752 Genuinely, thank you for one hell of an insightful, packed comment. Honestly its refreshingly rare to actually get thoroughly tailored advice that not only addresses the concern, but also the underlying reasons behind it. Not only that, you bowed out redirecting to anything about yourself and none of the content in this comment was tired platitudes, comments affirming your competence to yourself, etc. This was just pure information. The level of manners you conduct yourself with is admirable man, i genuinely learned a lot not just from your direct advice but your delivery also 😅🙏💗
I do think my praise comes from a real place of admiration though, theres just so many aspects people are capable. But i will tone it down if it helps people see it as more authentic and valuable. I deliberately insert some fun barbs with certain people sometimes because theyre particularly uncomfortable with direct affection lmao
My real problem is i dont know how to improve my social style though. I feel like acknowledging people's competence is all i know how to do, it makes me adjust constantly and frame myself as a "fan" to the person im with. Instead of being the person to attract others with my own frame of charisma and competence. I dont know how else to provide value aside from acknowledgement and giving out resources freely like, either money or cooking people food, or helping with their specific projects at school. I notice the people i end up liking romantically are charismatic, competent, witty and chaotic types that like to disturb (in a fun way) the comfort i instinctively try to create with my presence. I want to be more like that instead of being the way i am currently.
@eline7214 Thank you! I feel a bit overestimated, though. Speakling of which, I don't think "fan" is a bad position, as long as people feel like you like them for who they are, rather than for what they do for you. If people know your good impression of them is unconditional, there's less pressure on them to perform. A lot of people in lower positions want things (like affection or to be prioritized), so when you meet new people, they might want assurance that you're not the insecure kind of person, and that befriending you won't become an obligation. It should also be noted that treating people like equals tend to result in less tension for everyone. Tension can be *fun* at times, I don't dislike it, it just tends to require more energy.
Perhaps you're too much of a good person, which backfires for you? It's not bad to develop yourself and to invest in yourself. To give too much and too early is like plucking apples from a tree before they're ripe, rather be more "egoistic" until you can give without diminishing yourself too much. What we don't give ourselves, we tend to seek from others, so depriving ourselves too much puts a pressure on other people.
You can *be* value, have your own journey, and enjoy your own hobbies. And then other people can find joy in observing you, cheering for you, or participating in your journey. Even if you keep admiring others in the future, your admiration will hold greater weight after you work on yourself. You will experience other people being a fan of *you* , and asking yourself "wait, what is happening, *I'm* the strong person now? But I'm just as imperfect as them!". It's not much different from becoming an adult and realizing that adults weren't as amazing as you thought.
It's good to surround yourself with people who have positive qualities which you lack, since we become more like people we spend time around.
I recommend looking up the book "No More Mr Nice Guy" (or a summary), to see if any of the negatives (either causes or consequences) of niceness might apply to you. If none of them applies, then you're doing better than about 95% of the population! And if some of them do apply, then you will have inspiration for the next thing to improve about yourself :)
Best of luck!
Hello there!🙌🏼
Hey! 👋
Should it hurt when someone yells at you? Is there a way to let go of that?
Ofc it can
there is no shortcut bro
Julien is totally amazing I could never be like him!!! My wardrobe is really insufficient wowoowowow! (/joke)
ايش اسم اللبس الاحمر اللي يلبسه؟
21:10 🙏🏿🙏🏿
Glad that part was insightful for you!
21:43
I want Julien and Teal Swan in the same room.
I think this situation was just free advertising for him ,it doesn't matter what they say ...
discord
whats with this guys outfit and spotlight? odd
are you jesus
🤔
Your own personal Jesus XD
@@Show_Love_Serina alive jesus
1st comment
Boom! 🔥👊
+
Dude talks about himself 30mins and this is called selfhelp? I think you still just seeking validation.
Within the 2 mins everyone can learn to not doubt your value. What you know can teach a child, an adult and even the most industry professional. Never doubt your value everyone! You have something to offer to everyone. It may not be glorified or blow on the internet but please give yourself the confidence and the belief that you can give someone something. I MEAN ANYTHING! Go and give to the the world like @JulienHimself Go out there and give because you may never know that you maybe give something to yourself in just the act of it. KEEP WATCHING AND LISTEN IN THIS VIDEO. Go get em - Jacob
❤
🙏
First I want to say I'm a huge fan of you and I follow. And I always admire your out of the blue outfits and how your personality makes them work. I was wobdering if you could make a boutique with such pieces of clothing for your fans to follow you with their outfits too? Julien logo and stuff (Of course I'm kidding, but my brain produces such hilarious scenarios all the time, I thought you may appreciate that one.) 😊😊😊🤍