To me marrying my Filipina 5 years ago has been a blessing and an amazing experience and she is totally devoted to me as I am to her, I am in this to death do us part because I worked towards it being this way. I dated many girls before her and learned what I wanted and what to see in my future wife, it has benefitted me marrying way more than not. What you are talking about is two people not in love or have fallen out of love, my wife is my sole mate we have no intention of changing anything that has given us this love . after 5 years together we are exactly the same and money is never an issue between us or her family. I have 3 daughters from a previous marriage in Australia, I have made sure they are ok financially , so as far as I am concerned Sarah deserves what we have built together. If you marry a Filipina for the right reasons and always do the right thing by her she will have no reason to change in a bad way and she will always do good by you.
@@paulsasianadventure8050 What contract ? I never signed any contract, I never mentioned anything about a contract. I want her to have everything when I go in the end
Your case is a wonderful thing. But not all women are going to be faithful (not just sexually) and are trustworthy. We men cannot read their minds. Women can be very crafty is concealing their intentions. What if we are wrong about their true intentions? If we are wrong and trust them we will pay dearly if we take them to the USA and risk divorce court.
@@craigsphilippines466 According to Church teaching marriage is a covenant, designed to create families, which is irrevocable and which has the elements of a contract. Each spouse promises certain rights to the other. So in that sense it is a contract. Ex., According to Church Canon law a couple cannot be married if either is incapable of sexual relations and neither can deny sexual relations permanently to the other. Temporary continence is of course permitted. Therefore, each spouse has the right to the body of the other through sexual relations. You may not have understood marriage this way but according to Catholic theology and Canon law this is true. So Paul is right in this sense, that you agreed to the nuptuals at the wedding and you agreed to the marriage when you said "I take thee for my wife." Marriage is a contract in which you provide certain rights to your spouse.
If you're mindsets about marriage is only about your own "BENEFITS" then you are not a husband material type of guy. Women in Philippines are dreaming of marrying a real man who can take care of them and give value to them and having kids and happy family if you can't then your not a husband type material. If you want a good wife then try the Filipino way find an educated one or an independent working one if not educated at least a good breeding one a good family background I mean a simple courting some women to know each other and not showing your fucking dollars which mostly foreigners do. Then choose the one who loves the way you are and not your dollars.
Good one paul...where do i start. I married a filipina 12-22-18..things started off great..well now this is my humble 2 cents worth there is divorce in the Philippines...lol for me simple I'm an American i have like 180 countries i can go to (pre covid) anyway i really care about my wife it's just she wants all the things i wanted when I was her age(37) I'm 64 i get it. She is at a friend's house for now. We get along no big fights or anything like that. I came to the Philippines in 2018 permanently in 11-7-19 i took early retirement. My retirement is small but i live well. Budgets are like assholes everyone has one.. i planned well came here with access to 22,000,000 pesos (459,000)usd.guess what i still have it. I'm not going back to the states ever again. Plus i have no desire to be married again. I dont need a woman to live...now i figure anything or anywhere i go it now costs me half as much...lol. but your right good topic. I worked 45 years of my life not to make babies or support her family.sorry just my two cents worth.
Enjoy your retirement. Not everyone is the same. We’ve been married for almost 21 years we have 2 beautiful children, 18 and 15 years old. No prenup. We own 3 Condos in Manila (1 Studio unit is for sale right now) and a big house, lots of acres in one of the islands in the Phil’s... when someone is 60 to 75 years old PLEASE don’t come to the Phil’s and marry someone who is 20 -25 years old and expect more from them.
U really don't need to feed your fil wife families not all are alike .. pasalubong ,Xmas gift or birthday gift is enough long as u have something to offer..its a way of caring as Philippines is family oriented people.
You think too much about your assets, that’s not what an average Filipina thinks, getting married is the ultimate goal of every girl, after there career and have there own job, they want to build a family and not just women but also men. As for you who just go there to have fun and don’t get married, I can assure you that you will not be successful. Ask your girl what is her goal in life. If you are unselfish enough to fulfill her dream then you are the right guy for her otherwise, let her loose! Stay where you are and dream of a happy life with out anyone on your side. I’m sorry but you devalue women with your mindset. You think that A Filipina will remain submissive to you and just play with you? Do you think she will be forever happy like that? No because she has a hard core family who will come to her and let her know that she is not practicing what she was taught in life! In the Philippines, family is number one, and so every Filipina will always desire to have her own family. I think that western people have so much contamination in there mind because of previous experience but things are different in the Philippines!
How many of your assets will your beloved filipina get "by law" after you died unexpected? - Zero! - And that is a serious topic every responsible foreign "boyfriend" should think about. It is not allways about you and the "if married"; it is also about her and the "if not married". - Correct? If you're a foreigner and already retired and living a nice life in the Philippines on your monthly pension, how much of that pension will your filipina get - after you died - and if she wasn't married to you? Even if you've written your "last will", all of your (!) relatives - in the country where you are from - will come first when it comes to the inheritage. And in the worst case there is not a single dollar left for her. But, if she is married to you, then her financial situation - after you died - is secured, because then she will come first when it comes to the inheritage. In my opinion that is a valid point "pro marriage" and shouldn't be ignored. I know a case where a 72-years old foreigner (in the Philippines) died, after he and his filipino partner lived together a happy life in Cagayan de Oro for more than 19 years. They were not married, and obviously he and she have never thought about the "her life after his death" topic. Well, of course there was a "last will", but even a last will cannot outsmart the law. And by law, all his relatives have come first and got their part of his assets, before she came. All what was left for her, was the 19 years old furniture. She was forced to go back to poverty and a life in the squatter area, while his relatives have inherited assets and properties worth round about $500,000. So, the valid question is: "How can you secure your filipina's financial situation for the case you die?" - And obviously many expats in the Philippines just don't care about that. They just enjoy their lifes in the Philippines, and they use their filipino girlfriends as sex-tools; replaceable whenever they want. No responsibility needed. These type of expats are never in a serious relationship; they just live together with their filipino toy for a limited time span without that they would have to take any kind of serious responsibility. And that is one of the reasons why so many expats prefer a much younger filipina, because these young girls are still too naive and do not have the life experience (unlike her foreign boyfriend). Easy to take advantage. So, what could be done instead of a "Marry her in the Philippines"? - Well, for example marry her in an other south east asian country where a divorce is no problem. You can register that marriage in the Philippines and she will be secured when it comes to an inheritage, while a legal divorce - in that other country - is still possible. The bottom message is: "Be a responsible foreign boyfriend and secure your beloved filipina's financial situation for the case you die." - If married or not; find a solution. After being your loyal partner for many years she deserves that. She is not your toy! @Paul - What will you do, to secure Mia's life, for the case you unexpected die? Have you ever thought about that?
Paul is pushing and teaching her probably to go to nursing school. That can give her the financial security on her own for life. Those who just like to do nothing are the ones who will go back to misery!
Very good points that I did not cover. Thanks you gave me an idea for a video. Would love to have a discussion with you about this on video, you up for that bud?
@@paulsasianadventure8050 Yes, it could be a good topic for one of your future videos. Here's a very interesting link (no virus) ... lawyerphilippines.org/2019/02/08/compulsory-heirs-under-philippine-law/ That website shows you how complicate the whole topic is. Thank you for inviting me to a video chat, I appreciate, but I'm not "available" for videos. It's just not really my thing. But thank you.
Marriage is a 3 ring circus .....first there is the engagement ring , then there's the wedding ring ......then there's the suffering ..... Been single most of my life except for 3 years of my life in my early 20's ....been happy and single for 35 years now ...
Hello Paul I was married in Manila, we live in Canada. I paid her tuition for college, she has a great job in health care field. Most of her income gets sent to relatives in Philippines. First 2 years marriage were good, 9 years now and I'm low man on the totem pole, her relatives have priority over me. Thats the thanks I get for investing time and money. Best regards
You should have informed yourself. Frankly when I dated her, I asked how much she wants for her old parents a month, we agreed on $ 200-300 forever. No more none for the siblings, like she says "they can work". Being from Cebu she is very frugal. Not a spender. Never asks me for anything. There are all sorts mate
That's the culture. They will always put family first. A lot of them plan to get with a foreigner just so they can help there family, I hate to say but sometimes it's not about love at all, more like money. But remember the foreigner is the prize not the other person
Your commentary is very interesting. Another USA expat said if a man wants to divorce the woman he married in the Philippines, all he had to do was return to the USA or his home country and file for divorce. From what you said, that may be complicated. Do you think the best way is to consult with a Filipino lawyer before becoming engaged to a Filipina?
Marriage is not for people who are not ready for lifetime commitment.I am a Filipina married to a fellow Filipino.My friends and I had been married for 28 years and aboveto our husbands who are also fellow Filipinos.None of my friends of the same age group had been separated from our spouses. If you are someone who cannot live without your spouse then it means marriage is for youThis might not work for all people.Some people are simply not cut out to be married.In my case my husband and I have nothing to complain.We are just happy to be around each other growing old together knowing each other inside and out.Your failed relationship with a Filipina is not applicable to everyone.
To be honest, if you've been divorced 3 times mate, the common denominator is you!! The other side of the coin is would you get involved with any woman who had been divorced 3 times? It wouldn't just be no, but hell no. Come on, where's the difference?
Relationships ending is inevitable it just depend on the timeframe. Men aren't made to be monogamous long term. Do some research and you'll see. By all means get married and when she takes half of your assets, I'll wish you luck.
If you feel the need for children and to have a family, it need to be early in life when young, but expect a high cost and massive lose of freedom. I believe children have a right to be born and brought in to a family of positive care givers.. Marriage has costs and not just financial.
Interesting video Paul.. "red pill" all the way. There's one factor : many expats get the bottom of the barrel when it come to companionship, thus the 10 fold disparity. You are lucky as you have a very good partner, smart and resourceful, but I see some of your friends, who I will not name, who do go for certain quality that leaves a lot to be desired... It's all about being selective.
We men get married again for the following reasons: When you get sick with diabetes in your old age that women you married will take care of you especially when your diabetes is chronic, you get married again to end your loneliness to have partner. Its not always about the money or material things. So if my filipina takes good care of me then leaving her with material wealth is no problem. Most of these women are good sometimes the problem can be with we the men but we can fail to recognize our problems.
And right , its not always about money .. mostly we need also a man who love and care and make us feel that I am important in their life as a partner a better half .
@@paulsasianadventure8050 if i am the woman and single i will never live with the guy without marriage...i will find another man that willing to marry me...for filipinas marriage is a very important thing in their life...
"She gains 40 pounds after marriage". Brother, so true. I lost track of how many times i have seen that happen to guys who brought a filipina to the US. i have been around hundreds of them and been to many big filipino get together s over the years and watched filipinas get bigger and bigger and their new husband get sadder and sadder. The diet and lifestyle messes up a lot of them in the us. They think they have arrived and made it and can eat whatever and as much as they want. Plus the fast food portion sizes and sodas are made for much bigger Americans. Just another reason i won't bring a filipina to the states.
"I want someone who values me more than his money " I'm guessing by the video, and most of the comments, you should stay away from expats. Money and options seem more important than any relationship. Good luck
I agree with you .. married is important.. I’m married to a foreigner for 38 years his older than me for 9 years he loves my family and I love my his family too we are both happy till now . I des agree living with a man without married I’m a Christian and I was brought up like that ..
Having lost millions in my first marriage divorce, I now have PTSD about getting re-married. Me being older , no young beautiful filipina will hook up with me unless I am marriage minded. Not wanting to lead her on and eventually hurting her feelings, it puts us in an uncomfortable situation of choosing from 2 undesirable options.
Not meaning to be a cynic, but getting them a life insurance policy creates a temptation. If the relationship starts to go rocky you better sleep lightly.
I'm 62 and retired and financially stable. I too was divorced. I've been told I'm still attractive, however, my reluctance to even date American women is because I've been with enough of them to know what's coming. I know we'll become attached and she'll eventually push for Marriage...without...fail and it's game over. Therefore, I feel like what's the f'n point? Marriage is one big throw men under the bus sh*t-sandwich, but, I still love women. Like you said...it's a rock and a hard place choice for men. Oh well...
Great video Paul, I have never been married and never will be. I have worked hard all my life and the thought of handing some woman half of my wealth has never appealed to me. I have also noticed that most of my married friends are miserable! Why would anybody choose to be miserable.
Here’s the thing they tell you that they’re happy and you should get married and have kids while you both know if they could do it over again they’d not get married. I honestly can never understand these I’m so lonely I need a woman type guys like are they losers or what ?
Well, guys its your choice ... Just remember not all people in Philippines if you marry to them are miserable . Just take care always guys . . And be happy always life is beautiful God bless ❣️
May men have been fooled into the lies of happily ever after & most men won’t admit it, but you will see it on their faces & notice that every time, they will have to ask permission to do, buy, or go anywhere from their wives; beta males, so sad..😞
Here in the USA, its more like the woman gains 140lbs, not 40lbs after marriage. No reason to get married at all for men. Just take care of your gf while you are together, try to improve her life, give 100% and enjoy the good times.
The benefit of Marriage is to have a union under God on the path to heaven. If your intentions are true God will protect you. What are true intentions under God? To honour God To Honour your parents To procreate for humanity to thrive If you are getting married to use a woman for sex or to stimulate your ego, you are destined to fail.
How about for companionship? And as far as procreation, the Earth is overpopulated. We don't need to try hard to keep humanity thriving. But my comments are tongue in cheek. I have 4 children, including an adult child, and my Pinay is 25 and wants at least two. Pray for me. But my intentions are true, so I fear not.
Agree 100%. Why would a man get married now a days? I personally went thru a very costly an bitter divorce, never ever ever again. Your video should be a must watch every 6 months! 😊
After 3x divorced and losing everything, you have to accept that you are the problem. Not meant to be the dig that it sounds like, but you are either a bad husband OR likely, just a bad decision maker when it comes to the women you choose... Either way, the "professional bachelor" sounds like a smart move after your experience. That being said, I can't believe this guy was so cautious, but is considering marrying his Filipina to *bring her to the states...* Bringing them to the west is like feeding gremlins after midnight! 😬😬😆😆
Its a two way street...most women are looking for love, commitment and security from a man. From a women's perspective marriage represents those things. IF you do find a woman that ticks all the boxes then that is when its decision time. Some may try to postpone or avoid the issue but eventually it will come down to either a yes or she'll be be movin on.
@@paulsasianadventure8050 My take on a serious relationship with a women. Lease with the option to buy. I was married for 21 years, been single since 2006. I enjoy being single but for the most part (until the final 2 years) I also enjoyed marriage. So when Phil's opens up I'll be retiring on a SRRV visa and looking for a lease with option to buy.
Place everything in a non grantor, non statutory, 1041 irrevocable trust. Own nothing, control everything! The trust owns everything plus taxes are much lower. No prenup needed!
Video was very good and on point right up until the last minute where he said he might bring his current GF back to west and marry her. Will be the exact same mistake he made before IMO. Another thing -- you guys over 50 need to stop kidding yourselves, too. When your early 20s GF gets to the west where 90 percent of men aren't in poverty shes upgrading to the 28 year old version of you quickly. Im all for age gap relationships but be reasonable. Most girls in their early 20s will want kids with a healthy man with years in front of him, regardless of what they tell you. In the west all the cards will be in her hands with a massive incentive to upgrade from you. Most filipinas will be in the top 20 percent of desirable women in the west just off of being skinny and friendly. Even the sweetest girl is designed to survive and practice hypergamy if its an option.
One insane truth I'll take to my grave is knowing there's men out there that will enter into a legal contract with a woman they know will be rewarded by breaking it. I'm here in the States and feel a bifurcated sensation of both sadness and extreme relief when I see the married guy pushing the stroller with that patented "thousand yard stare" that screams, "what have I done?"...dutifully following behind his overweight, smug-faced wife.
Thats exactly what is wrong currently in the west women are rewarded to do the "wrong" thing, breaking families and leading to a bunch of single Mums and all the societal problems that entail. Great comment John
My fiancee is a pinay ,we need to get married because we might sin , because we are living together in one condo, its the sin of fornication sex without marriage
There are no benefits to marriage for a man. It does not create a better, closer bond. What marriage will do is give the woman power over you. She can now take half your stuff. In some places that includes half your income for life as well. Even here in the US there are states where this is true. Not even a Prenup can save you. Marriage makes you "RESPONSIBLE" for her not the other way around. Once married she no longer needs to please you, but you better please her. Marriage turns an otherwise great relationship into a one sided sh*t show.
women have all the benefits of marriage and none of the risks. Men have all of the risks and none of the benefits. Make women a complement to your life, not the focus of it --- Richard Cooper
glad it worked out for you. i have been with the same woman (western) for 25 years, and have stuck it out. she has been ill for 15 years or more, and believe me it is not a good marriage. no love no sex, just work
Your comments should not allowed to enter in The Philippines .I am a Foreigner your comments are so disgraceful .I am happily married for 33 Years and already retire in the Philippines . You think in the West is better ????
I married my wife who is from China. I feel closer to her since we’re married. My love has grown since then. Marriage isn’t all bad. I had my share of bad one
I would say YOU ARE RIGHT in the Philippines.. but "If" you find a business woman or educated professional woman "In THAILAND".. who treats you great.. she will continue to treat you great.. they don't change their stripes. (*** All bets are off if you're with a sexy woman 20 years younger or if she worked in a bar)
A couple of things to add, along with some experience. First I spent 19 years in a bad marriage with a woman who was abusive to me, but when she started in on my daughter, I left and gained full custody. I will not marry someone without first living with them for at least a year. Now I have a close family member who just went through something like this in Guatemala. He was married there and lived there for a couple of years. He NEVER brought his wife to the US and therefore the marriage was NEVER recognized by the US. Therefore according to several American divorce lawyers, they do not have to go through the process of a divorce in the US. To me, that would be the advantage to marrying there as opposed to a fiance visa. I have traveled and lived in 18 countries before I found out what was going on in my home. My family member can not go back to Guatemala and remarry but he don't care. Now if the Philippines is your only destination then just don't get married. Just my 2 cents but you have an excellent vidoe
I think that's bad advice for Americans looking at a Filipina. US gov website specifically states that it fully recognizes marriages with US citizens in the Philippines. That's why once you marry in PH you can immediately apply for relative visa to bring her to the US.
DEAR PAUL YOU ARE A VERY WISE GENTLEMAN. WOMEN NOWADAYS DO NOT APPRECIATE PEOPLE LIKE US. WE ARE LIKED FOR THE INITIAL PERIOD OF THE MARRIAGE BUT EVENTUALLY FADES AWAY SO WE MEN FOUND OURSELVES IN DISADVANTEGEOUS POSITION. WE MEN CANNOT BE STACKED IN ONE WOMAN ALL OUR LIFE. MUSLIMS MAY BE RIGHT HAVING MORE THAN ONE PROVIDING THEY CAN MAINTAIN THEM. YET MARRIAGE IN 21ST CENTURY HAS LOST ITS VALUE. MONEY PLAYS A GREAT ROLE IN WOMEN TO DECIDE FOR THEIR LIFETIME PARTNER. IF I HAD THE POWER I WOULD ABOLISH MARRIAGE PERMANENTLY OR MAKE IT LIKE EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT ONE YEAR OR TWO YEARS ETC CONTRACT. CHILDREN BE ABLE TO BE TAKEN CARE BY THE COVERNMENT. I KNOW CHURCH PEOPLE WILL DISAGREE WITH ME BUT IF YOU LOOK THE RATE OF DIVORCE ALL OVER THE WORLD YOU ARE SHOCKED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ADVICE. PLEASE KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
I agree with what you said up to around the 18 min mark. After the good reasons you mentioned for not marrying why consider bringing someone from SE Asia to "the west"? Between her possible westernization and age gap the risk/reward ratio would be worse. A pre-nup might help but why put yourself in a situation where you might still need lawyers, still cost you $$$, stress and possible heartache in the 1st place?
Agree. Great video by Paul, but marriage anywhere is a horrible concession unless the man is truly desperate to have a family at any cost to his finances and emotional health. The ladies who don't want the kids are after the green card, often they are Uni grads, and will monkey branch in 3 years if not sooner. Being snipped is just as important as any pre-nup. What's yours is hers and what's hers is hers in divorce. Peace.
Never buy more house in the Philippines than you are willing to walk away from. From the beginning think of it as a gift to your bride. Renting is great but as in most Spanish based cultures the wife thinks little of a man that can not afford his own home. If you separate she will keep the home and settle for nothing more if there is a prenup.
Are you saying "Dont get married at all" (if you don't have to) or "Dont get married in the Philippinies" (But if you do have to get married then marry in another country)
Dont get married at all. It has no benefit. Tell the woman of she really loves you then the state shouldnt have to get involved and sh3 can take it or leave it
@@SunRise-ul7ko My comment does look odd considering Paul explains it in the video... however this comment was posted prior to video release. Sometimes Vlogers like Paul release teaser messages ahead of time. That’s what happened here...
my house was 700.000 peso here in the ph. .i get kickt out i lose 700.000 peso 13000 euro. if i buy house in europe .is easy around 200.000 euro . if i get kickt out there or something go wrong i lose 200.000 euro .
You're definitely a very good husband sir, married to a very good and loving Filipina, that's why you're marriage REALLY WORKED! I salute you, and congrats for your happy 😊 marriage!
Yeh hey I'm filipina 44 year's old and never been married since birth . LoL 🤣🤣🤣😆😆😆 If I will Marry I will protect my husband caused 2 became 1 if I marry my husband belong to me and he belongs to me. It's depends the woman u got if u got woman from bar then u have terrible crazy life here Philippines, but if u choose godly woman then u have good life here Philippines. Choose wisely. Either bad or good. Anywhere in world there's bad or good wife even though in western or in Asia.
Westerners never judge a gili8 with money thing issue..true we can't get equal income same as u do!! consider pH as poor country never compare our earning never compare peso over dollars..but if u truly love your wife 5k peso a month won't hurt u folks..and NOT ALL Filipinas will leave u behind because of mine thing issue! remember buying your wife a home is showing u genuinely cares and is willing to protect her..no woman will leave marriage without a reason!! marriage is a gift from God ! Marriage comes with courage don't get married if u guys are coward !!if you're thinking badly on filipinas to whoever your gf now it means u are not committed , u will do anything for the sake of true love...most west pips treating filipinas as a slave just because what???we are poor in a way u think? U guys are destroying filipinas image not all are the same!I felt sorry for all who are left and got divorced but never think all Filipinas will do the same..if u find real love from God marriage will never be destroyed..I believe put God in the center of marriage , never count to your wife/gf never compare..just saying
Your paranoid about getting married in the Philippines so far the best decision I’ve made so far however being married to a traditional lady ! I wonder if you will say the same thing after being with Mia for year hopefully u don’t break her heart and vice versa if you don’t marry her , because she’s being more confident if you don’t give her what she wants and or needs she may find someone who will give her what she wants as a stepping stone up to something better so you may lose too ! However your right about dangerous situations so hopefully her family has better morals with less dangers ! I remember the look on Mias face when she was asked about getting married! Your arguments are very factual however you may loose the love of your life which you may regret ,life’s a gamble as we both know since we both have been divorced before!
What are her options, she can put up with Paul's non-marriage stance, or she can go back to the province, to work 12 hours a day as a maid or caregiver, for $0.50 (fifty cents) per hour!
@@walkerskii The young woman is not naive . They both are together equally beneficially. There’s nothing wrong with conditional love if that’s what both aspire to have .
@@robbyrose6904 Robbie how do you know she is not naive? I've been following Paul for a year, I notice she's idealistic & hoping he'll change his mind about marriage & children. She is very young & innocent, ahe has very little life experience & not much in the way of other options.
you are basically discouraging westeners getting married to a filipina,,,but do u encourage them to keep a filipina as long as they like and then dump them?are u saying that they are just like a toy?whether a marriage works or otherwise,,,it all depends on both of u,,,marriage is beautiful,,,how u manage is important,,,probably u didnt manage it well,,,thats why u failed twice,,,,sorry to say that as people say,,,truth is always difficult to be swallowed..if u feel marriage is always a failure,,,please dont go around in philippines looking for beautiful girls,,,u guys dont deserve it,,,if your parents were to have the same thinking as u do on marriage,,,u wouldnt be here today,,,
So if two grown ups are in a relationship and it does not worked, obviously the man is the abuser? Do you hear yourself there bud? What if a 25 yo man dated a 45 yo women and then it ended would we say that the woman abused the man? NO, its societies programming that makes you think this way, the woman is always the abused no matter what.....
@@paulsasianadventure8050 well,,,u cannot say the man is the abuser or the woman ,,,it goes case by case,,,anyway,,u dont live for the society ,,,dont worry too much what the society perceives,,,do what u think is right,,that will make u happy,,Paul,,,i hope its just a healthy discussion,,,my opinion may be wrong,,,i wish u all the best buddy,,
My advice to foreigners be smart ,dont shower your Filipina gf with money and materials things they will love the things that you give but not you.If you pick up those girls and bars don’t expect much from them because they’re hunting guys who can support them including their clan.😂I’m a Filipina and I work hard not to lean on anybody else.
Marry a woman with virtue regardless where she came from. and one has to know what's marriage is all about. "Marriage, then, is a creative work. Both parties must labor to make a beautiful marriage. The wreckage of the miserable marriages we see all about us today is due mainly to this: that one or the other or both parties did not know - or did not have the maturity or psychological freedom to act upon this knowledge - that to make a marriage work means to work at making a marriage"
True. But the problem is deeper than that. The institution of marriage and the family has been under attack for decades by numerous forces that conspire to destroy marriages or make them less stable. No fault divorce, the sexual revolution and promiscuity, access to contraception, pornography, etc.
@@michaelk969 that's why I said marry a woman with virtues, but mostly these women holds a conservative view on marriage, family and moral issues they are difficult to find in our secular world where everything is disposable. The problem you've mentioned are called vices which can only be countered by virtues. With regards to the video, one can easily see red flags in a relationship but hardly being confronted until it's too late. Like it or not when you marry someone you marry the family as well. My sister was married to a foreign diplomat for 20 years but we as siblings never took advantage of my sister's marriage to a foreign diplomat. We treat our brother in law like a regular fellow not a gold mine because it's immoral to take advantage of someone regardless of race, age and status.
Hello,Hello I am married for 52 years to the same man. We both need each other. He could not do well without me. I never demanded anything because we both had nothing. We had children and there doing well. We had our hard times but we worked it out. We are not people that that want to much . We are happy that we have enough to cover our needs and more. We can take a yearly holiday. Also in these days you don’t need to get married. A couple after 1 year is automatically have the same rights as a married couple. If that ring is a sign a security than there are problems already.
Hello Paul🤗. This is a very thought eye opening topic for me and it’s a reality that in this present age, men tend to lose out their years of hard earned assets to the woman who will change after getting married. I amnot married but have been a hopeless romantic man who still dreams of marriage since high school. I have seen my married friends who sometimes advises me to remain single after seeing their differences came up with their partner afterwards after marriage. No one wants to be Lonely as the song says. I guess it’s a choices of what we prepared to lose.. a comfortable life of being free to do what we want or have a partner but with consequences for a longtime. I would still try to retire in the Philippines 🇵🇭 when the time comes😄. Thank you Paul for many of your thoughts enlightening videos. 🙏🏻🤗Take care be safe Always👍🏻🙏🏻.
What to gain from being married for 1 that's the way God intended it to be is for man to be married to a woman and when you live for God and you have a Godly relationship and you put God first then you put your own desires away so it's not always about me me me as you stated in the beginning of this video what about me and my needs and that's probably why your marriage didn't work out in the first place or your second marriage or however many times that you have been married his you did not have God in your life and you didn't have God be the center of your marriage because when God is Not ahead of anything then everything that you try to do will fail
God's purpose in creating of marriage is to create a community of love - the family. The speculation about the reason for Paul's divorces adds nothing to the conversation. You don't know what happened in his personal case. I understand that having a God-centered marriage is essential to make it last. But Paul is addressing the current situation that men find themselves in today in which radical feminism and approval of sexual license have found their way into the court system. The divorce courts are brutal and unfair to men in a dramatic way. If financial settlements in divorces were handled justly then men would not need to make a risk/benefit analysis prior to marriage. Men are forced to look soberly at the possibilities these days and take precautions to protect themselves as much as possible. This is not unreasonable.
Hey Paul my friend, I have no answers as well. I'm still trying to find some answers. The advice you gave is spot on. Thank you for sharing this awesome video my friend. Please stay safe and healthy.
From a purely material perspective, avoiding marriage does not free you of the state's intrusion into your relationship. Chapter 7 of the Philippines' marriage code imposes rules upon income earned and property acquired by those living together outside of wedlock. From a spiritual perspective, there are enormous benefits which flow to a man from a mutual lifelong commitment to a biblically-oriented, God-honoring Christian marriage. I fear that your entirely materialistic worldview robs you of access to those benefits.
FYI, divorce is allowed in the Philippines. Called a Muslim divorce & it's legally recognized. Not well known outside of Mindanao, where the majority of Phils Muslims reside. There are lawyers who specialize in getting it for non-Muslims. It can be tricky & requires faith conversion(on paper) but it's doable. I speak from experience
Great points. In the Philippines don’t buy anything, including women. Only rent. If the woman can’t behave you can ditch her in 5 minutes and get another girl the next day. If you are married then it might take 10 years to offload her and at great cost too. You could be completely ruined financially.
Thank you for telling the truth about marriage in the Philippines. Marriage only benefits the Filipino women because you become trapped in that relationship. The financial difference is enormous because the Filipino women provides very little income. Remember a Filipino women’s loves her family, friends, country first and you will always be second. Great story and fantastic video. 🙏
Excellent video. Really got me thinking 🤔 especially the story you told . Highlighting the difference between the rich and the poor . Thanks Paul . Have a great weekend.
I got married in the Philippines. After a while we decided it wasn't a good idea. So I went back to America and filed for divorce here in the states. As part of the process I needed her to sign something declaring that she gives up any claim to any of my property and any future support. She signed it. I've never had any problems since. She is still in the process of completing an annulment over there. Neither of us has any ill will toward the other.
The Bible says sex outside of marriage separates you from God, that's a hard one to get around. I wonder if I can do a prenup with God, where he'll allow me to have a live-in girlfriend & still go to heaven?
Sorry that's not what the bible says at all. It's just that you've been told that your whole life by your parents and pastors that you've come to believe it unquestioningly.
Hi Paul I stopped the video to write this because I'm sure your getting a huge response probable negative. some comments like, "just find the right girl" or "take your time" or bla bla bla bla... I agree with your video %100. no way take a filipin to the west if she is young (in her 20s, 30s or even 40s) and what benefit is it for us men? OH MY GOD I SAID MEN,,,, F me PC PC is... women just love themselves in USA..... Willie stuck in seattle OMG I can say so much just about seattle.
@@paulsasianadventure8050 Love your honest and open minded videos especially with relationships...dont be tainted by outside negativity that I know can come your way. \willie stuck in seattle..
One of your best vids Paul. Thank you. Please share with your viewers what mistakes you made in the past as it relates to marriage with a Filipina. Thanx again. From USA
First time watch this guy’s video. I like this guy so much. Awesome advice for all men. I am sure it applies to all of us in the USA and rest of the world. I wish my dad would teach me when I was younger 😂
@@paulsasianadventure8050 You don't have to check out the book, Paul. Just type "Helen Smith Interview" in RUclips and you'll see her review the tenets of her book. She's an amazing woman who lays bare the truth about what a sh*t deal marriage is for Western men.
@@mister_vegas Yeah, but it's still exotically refreshing to watch RUclips videos of her interviews...actually seeing a sane, intelligent and surprisingly attractive hetero woman lay bare the truth.
Excellent Paul. Rule 1...NEVER get married... Rule 2...NEVER make yourself worth more dead than alive Rule 3...NEVER get married in a 3 world bc now your worth more dead than alive. Rule 4...Marriage is an insurance policy for an ever depreciating asset, which you will find out about if you didn't listen to rule #1 ...
Did you know also, if you meet a lady fall in love and sleep with her, if she is still married as you correctly state no divorce and an annulment is to expensive for a lady there, the LEGAL married husband can have you put in PRISON for sleeping with he's legal with, despite him not living with her and despite her not telling you in fear of losing you, BUT the ex and he's family will usually simply BLACKMAIL you, this also goes for any house you jointly own or business or land , the ex can lay claim legally as what is hers is he's also in the Philippines...Napakalinito ninyong mga kababaihan ingat
I was married for 15 years, they were the happiest 6 months of my life :)
Lol
ROFLMBO
Man I hear ya. I really hear ya....
@ Dr. Paul... No wiser words said!
wow you got a whole 6 months! You lucky bastard!
To me marrying my Filipina 5 years ago has been a blessing and an amazing experience and she is totally devoted to me as I am to her, I am in this to death do us part because I worked towards it being this way. I dated many girls before her and learned what I wanted and what to see in my future wife, it has benefitted me marrying way more than not. What you are talking about is two people not in love or have fallen out of love, my wife is my sole mate we have no intention of changing anything that has given us this love . after 5 years together we are exactly the same and money is never an issue between us or her family. I have 3 daughters from a previous marriage in Australia, I have made sure they are ok financially , so as far as I am concerned Sarah deserves what we have built together. If you marry a Filipina for the right reasons and always do the right thing by her she will have no reason to change in a bad way and she will always do good by you.
Again if she is so wonderful and both are in love why do you have to sign a contract?
@@paulsasianadventure8050 What contract ? I never signed any contract, I never mentioned anything about a contract. I want her to have everything when I go in the end
Craig Smith ❤
Your case is a wonderful thing. But not all women are going to be faithful (not just sexually) and are trustworthy. We men cannot read their minds. Women can be very crafty is concealing their intentions. What if we are wrong about their true intentions? If we are wrong and trust them we will pay dearly if we take them to the USA and risk divorce court.
@@craigsphilippines466 According to Church teaching marriage is a covenant, designed to create families, which is irrevocable and which has the elements of a contract. Each spouse promises certain rights to the other. So in that sense it is a contract. Ex., According to Church Canon law a couple cannot be married if either is incapable of sexual relations and neither can deny sexual relations permanently to the other. Temporary continence is of course permitted. Therefore, each spouse has the right to the body of the other through sexual relations.
You may not have understood marriage this way but according to Catholic theology and Canon law this is true. So Paul is right in this sense, that you agreed to the nuptuals at the wedding and you agreed to the marriage when you said "I take thee for my wife." Marriage is a contract in which you provide certain rights to your spouse.
High risk,low reward sums it up.....100% great advice...
Thx
A lot has changed in a year PAUL I believe you are now married in the Philippines lol
If you're mindsets about marriage is only about your own "BENEFITS" then you are not a husband material type of guy. Women in Philippines are dreaming of marrying a real man who can take care of them and give value to them and having kids and happy family if you can't then your not a husband type material. If you want a good wife then try the Filipino way find an educated one or an independent working one if not educated at least a good breeding one a good family background I mean a simple courting some women to know each other and not showing your fucking dollars which mostly foreigners do. Then choose the one who loves the way you are and not your dollars.
I agree with you!
I agree!!!
@@prettydanica4243 There is a saying," If you can't say Amen, then say ouch!" Well said!
They have to take care of themselves they're not disabled or crazy. Why need someone else to take care of them. That is a slavery
agree
Good one paul...where do i start. I married a filipina 12-22-18..things started off great..well now this is my humble 2 cents worth there is divorce in the Philippines...lol for me simple I'm an American i have like 180 countries i can go to (pre covid) anyway i really care about my wife it's just she wants all the things i wanted when I was her age(37) I'm 64 i get it. She is at a friend's house for now. We get along no big fights or anything like that. I came to the Philippines in 2018 permanently in 11-7-19 i took early retirement. My retirement is small but i live well. Budgets are like assholes everyone has one.. i planned well came here with access to 22,000,000 pesos (459,000)usd.guess what i still have it. I'm not going back to the states ever again. Plus i have no desire to be married again. I dont need a woman to live...now i figure anything or anywhere i go it now costs me half as much...lol. but your right good topic. I worked 45 years of my life not to make babies or support her family.sorry just my two cents worth.
Exactly, enjoy your retirement without all the pressures
Enjoy your retirement. Not everyone is the same. We’ve been married for almost 21 years we have 2 beautiful children, 18 and 15 years old. No prenup. We own 3 Condos in Manila (1 Studio unit is for sale right now) and a big house, lots of acres in one of the islands in the Phil’s... when someone is 60 to 75 years old PLEASE don’t come to the Phil’s and marry someone who is 20 -25 years old and expect more from them.
U really don't need to feed your fil wife families not all are alike .. pasalubong ,Xmas gift or birthday gift is enough long as u have something to offer..its a way of caring as Philippines is family oriented people.
@@Snowbirds58 keep her over 30 with kids 2 she content with no more kids on a 30 +yr age gap it great
You think too much about your assets, that’s not what an average Filipina thinks, getting married is the ultimate goal of every girl, after there career and have there own job, they want to build a family and not just women but also men. As for you who just go there to have fun and don’t get married, I can assure you that you will not be successful. Ask your girl what is her goal in life. If you are unselfish enough to fulfill her dream then you are the right guy for her otherwise, let her loose! Stay where you are and dream of a happy life with out anyone on your side. I’m sorry but you devalue women with your mindset. You think that A Filipina will remain submissive to you and just play with you? Do you think she will be forever happy like that? No because she has a hard core family who will come to her and let her know that she is not practicing what she was taught in life! In the Philippines, family is number one, and so every Filipina will always desire to have her own family. I think that western people have so much contamination in there mind because of previous experience but things are different in the Philippines!
How many of your assets will your beloved filipina get "by law" after you died unexpected? - Zero! - And that is a serious topic every responsible foreign "boyfriend" should think about.
It is not allways about you and the "if married"; it is also about her and the "if not married". - Correct?
If you're a foreigner and already retired and living a nice life in the Philippines on your monthly pension, how much of that pension will your filipina get - after you died - and if she wasn't married to you?
Even if you've written your "last will", all of your (!) relatives - in the country where you are from - will come first when it comes to the inheritage. And in the worst case there is not a single dollar left for her. But, if she is married to you, then her financial situation - after you died - is secured, because then she will come first when it comes to the inheritage. In my opinion that is a valid point "pro marriage" and shouldn't be ignored.
I know a case where a 72-years old foreigner (in the Philippines) died, after he and his filipino partner lived together a happy life in Cagayan de Oro for more than 19 years. They were not married, and obviously he and she have never thought about the "her life after his death" topic. Well, of course there was a "last will", but even a last will cannot outsmart the law. And by law, all his relatives have come first and got their part of his assets, before she came. All what was left for her, was the 19 years old furniture. She was forced to go back to poverty and a life in the squatter area, while his relatives have inherited assets and properties worth round about $500,000.
So, the valid question is: "How can you secure your filipina's financial situation for the case you die?" - And obviously many expats in the Philippines just don't care about that. They just enjoy their lifes in the Philippines, and they use their filipino girlfriends as sex-tools; replaceable whenever they want. No responsibility needed. These type of expats are never in a serious relationship; they just live together with their filipino toy for a limited time span without that they would have to take any kind of serious responsibility. And that is one of the reasons why so many expats prefer a much younger filipina, because these young girls are still too naive and do not have the life experience (unlike her foreign boyfriend). Easy to take advantage.
So, what could be done instead of a "Marry her in the Philippines"? - Well, for example marry her in an other south east asian country where a divorce is no problem. You can register that marriage in the Philippines and she will be secured when it comes to an inheritage, while a legal divorce - in that other country - is still possible.
The bottom message is: "Be a responsible foreign boyfriend and secure your beloved filipina's financial situation for the case you die." - If married or not; find a solution. After being your loyal partner for many years she deserves that. She is not your toy!
@Paul - What will you do, to secure Mia's life, for the case you unexpected die? Have you ever thought about that?
Paul is pushing and teaching her probably to go to nursing school. That can give her the financial security on her own for life. Those who just like to do nothing are the ones who will go back to misery!
Very good points that I did not cover. Thanks you gave me an idea for a video. Would love to have a discussion with you about this on video, you up for that bud?
@@paulsasianadventure8050 Yes, it could be a good topic for one of your future videos.
Here's a very interesting link (no virus) ...
lawyerphilippines.org/2019/02/08/compulsory-heirs-under-philippine-law/
That website shows you how complicate the whole topic is.
Thank you for inviting me to a video chat, I appreciate, but I'm not "available" for videos. It's just not really my thing. But thank you.
Marriage is a 3 ring circus .....first there is the engagement ring , then there's the wedding ring ......then there's the suffering .....
Been single most of my life except for 3 years of my life in my early 20's ....been happy and single for 35 years now ...
ONLY RENT 💯
Exactly right, get exactly same benefits without risking anything.. can always return it and walk away any day without any commitment
That doesn't sound very virtuous. I'm sure every woman loves to be rented out. Shalom.
Thanks for showing us the Philippines expat life through a red pilled lens
Women who has a lot of money don’t want to be married either because it would not do her any good.
I think the same!
There is no benefits being married! So being single is the best and just having a partner and enjoy each other.
A little boy asked his dad how much it would cost to be married? His dad replied: “ I don’t know , I am still 💰 paying!”
Hello Paul I was married in Manila, we live in Canada. I paid her tuition for college, she has a great job in health care field. Most of her income gets sent to relatives in Philippines. First 2 years marriage were good, 9 years now and I'm low man on the totem pole, her relatives have priority over me. Thats the thanks I get for investing time and money. Best regards
Yup I see that all the time in marriages. YOu have to say no, right from the start
What if you don't get maried
You should have informed yourself. Frankly when I dated her, I asked how much she wants for her old parents a month, we agreed on $ 200-300 forever. No more none for the siblings, like she says "they can work". Being from Cebu she is very frugal. Not a spender. Never asks me for anything. There are all sorts mate
That's the culture. They will always put family first. A lot of them plan to get with a foreigner just so they can help there family, I hate to say but sometimes it's not about love at all, more like money. But remember the foreigner is the prize not the other person
Your commentary is very interesting. Another USA expat said if a man wants to divorce the woman he married in the Philippines, all he had to do was return to the USA or his home country and file for divorce. From what you said, that may be complicated. Do you think the best way is to consult with a Filipino lawyer before becoming engaged to a Filipina?
Marriage is not for people who are not ready for lifetime commitment.I am a Filipina married to a fellow Filipino.My friends and I had been married for 28 years and aboveto our husbands who are also fellow Filipinos.None of my friends of the same age group had been separated from our spouses. If you are someone who cannot live without your spouse then it means marriage is for youThis might not work for all people.Some people are simply not cut out to be married.In my case my husband and I have nothing to complain.We are just happy to be around each other growing old together knowing each other inside and out.Your failed relationship with a Filipina is not applicable to everyone.
Marriage is a great institution if you like living in an institution
My wife ran off with the guy next door and i really miss him.
The only thing that scares me more than being married is being old, broke and homeless because I ended up divorced. 😅 Great video Paul
To be honest, if you've been divorced 3 times mate, the common denominator is you!! The other side of the coin is would you get involved with any woman who had been divorced 3 times? It wouldn't just be no, but hell no. Come on, where's the difference?
Relationships ending is inevitable it just depend on the timeframe. Men aren't made to be monogamous long term. Do some research and you'll see. By all means get married and when she takes half of your assets, I'll wish you luck.
I was thinking their same thing. Even if he isn't the problem in the relationship, at a minimum he is choosing poor mates.
Well men aren’t filing majority of divorces lmao
80% of the marriage are started by the wife, not the husband, think about it
What is the advantage of being married?
I've been happily married, raised two kids to adulthood and have a really great wife & life. 35-years in a row now..
Paul, I think you need to talk to this guy I know named Paul who married this young beautiful Filipina named Mia. Hahaha
If you feel the need for children and to have a family, it need to be early in life when young, but expect a high cost and massive lose of freedom. I believe children have a right to be born and brought in to a family of positive care givers.. Marriage has costs and not just financial.
Update 2023. Paul got married in the Philippines.
Interesting video Paul.. "red pill" all the way. There's one factor : many expats get the bottom of the barrel when it come to companionship, thus the 10 fold disparity. You are lucky as you have a very good partner, smart and resourceful, but I see some of your friends, who I will not name, who do go for certain quality that leaves a lot to be desired... It's all about being selective.
We men get married again for the following reasons: When you get sick with diabetes in your old age that women you married will take care of you especially when your diabetes is chronic, you get married again to end your loneliness to have partner. Its not always about the money or material things. So if my filipina takes good care of me then leaving her with material wealth is no problem. Most of these women are good sometimes the problem can be with we the men but we can fail to recognize our problems.
She can do all that without a marriage contract :)
@@paulsasianadventure8050 - Only if she's foolish enough to believe she's going to be legally entitled to your nesteg without the contract. ;-)
Yes but Marriage is important as a women especially we women are still not encounter sexually ... We value the importance of marriage .
And right , its not always about money .. mostly we need also a man who love and care and make us feel that I am important in their life as a partner a better half .
@@paulsasianadventure8050 if i am the woman and single i will never live with the guy without marriage...i will find another man that willing to marry me...for filipinas marriage is a very important thing in their life...
"She gains 40 pounds after marriage". Brother, so true. I lost track of how many times i have seen that happen to guys who brought a filipina to the US. i have been around hundreds of them and been to many big filipino get together s over the years and watched filipinas get bigger and bigger and their new husband get sadder and sadder. The diet and lifestyle messes up a lot of them in the us. They think they have arrived and made it and can eat whatever and as much as they want. Plus the fast food portion sizes and sodas are made for much bigger Americans. Just another reason i won't bring a filipina to the states.
When you married you become one..partner in life forever..i wish to find my forever..but i want someone who value me more than his money..
"I want someone who values me more than his money " I'm guessing by the video, and most of the comments, you should stay away from expats. Money and options seem more important than any relationship. Good luck
@@douggardner1303 thanks..
I agree with you .. married is important.. I’m married to a foreigner for 38 years his older than me for 9 years he loves my family and I love my his family too we are both happy till now . I des agree living with a man without married I’m a Christian and I was brought up like that ..
Anything that flies,floats or. *UCKs. Rent
Having lost millions in my first marriage divorce, I now have PTSD about getting re-married. Me being older , no young beautiful filipina will hook up with me unless I am marriage minded. Not wanting to lead her on and eventually hurting her feelings, it puts us in an uncomfortable situation of choosing from 2 undesirable options.
try a life insurance policy with irrevocable beneficiary to show you care. retired financial advisor in canada here.
Not meaning to be a cynic, but getting them a life insurance policy creates a temptation. If the relationship starts to go rocky you better sleep lightly.
@@Km-be8cjDoesn't really work like that! She's gonna get a payout for murder
@@Km-be8cj yes VERY lightly.
I'm 62 and retired and financially stable. I too was divorced. I've been told I'm still attractive, however, my reluctance to even date American women is because I've been with enough of them to know what's coming. I know we'll become attached and she'll eventually push for Marriage...without...fail and it's game over. Therefore, I feel like what's the f'n point? Marriage is one big throw men under the bus sh*t-sandwich, but, I still love women. Like you said...it's a rock and a hard place choice for men. Oh well...
Great video Paul, I have never been married and never will be. I have worked hard all my life and the thought of handing some woman half of my wealth has never appealed to me. I have also noticed that most of my married friends are miserable! Why would anybody choose to be miserable.
Here’s the thing they tell you that they’re happy and you should get married and have kids while you both know if they could do it over again they’d not get married. I honestly can never understand these I’m so lonely I need a woman type guys like are they losers or what ?
Well, guys its your choice ... Just remember not all people in Philippines if you marry to them are miserable . Just take care always guys . . And be happy always life is beautiful God bless ❣️
oh in the name of Psychotronic Harassement i would do when you do
May men have been fooled into the lies of happily ever after & most men won’t admit it, but you will see it on their faces & notice that every time, they will have to ask permission to do, buy, or go anywhere from their wives; beta males, so sad..😞
12:51 betatazation by 1000 concessions. Even Bill Gates couldn't overcome it 🙁
This video didn’t age well.
Here in the USA, its more like the woman gains 140lbs, not 40lbs after marriage. No reason to get married at all for men. Just take care of your gf while you are together, try to improve her life, give 100% and enjoy the good times.
Haha! Ya got that right man! 140lbs of useless lazy rippling fat!!
No lie.
The benefit of Marriage is to have a union under God on the path to heaven.
If your intentions are true God will protect you.
What are true intentions under God?
To honour God
To Honour your parents
To procreate for humanity to thrive
If you are getting married to use a woman for sex or to stimulate your ego, you are destined to fail.
Amen 🙏
How about for companionship? And as far as procreation, the Earth is overpopulated. We don't need to try hard to keep humanity thriving. But my comments are tongue in cheek. I have 4 children, including an adult child, and my Pinay is 25 and wants at least two. Pray for me. But my intentions are true, so I fear not.
Agree 100%. Why would a man get married now a days? I personally went thru a very costly an bitter divorce, never ever ever again. Your video should be a must watch every 6 months! 😊
Sorry to hear about the divorce 😢
Hahahaha. Absolutely. Every 6 months must rewatch and snap out of the spell
@@listerine414 thats funny... but oh so true!!!
You know for better now but people who did not make your bad experience might want to get married.
Being “in the doghouse” is a British and American idiom for being in trouble with someone who has the ability to affect your life. 🤓
Let's put HER in the doghouse for once!😆
Never again Paul.. 3xs and sick of giving away houses.. a professional bachelor works for me...cheers n beers Daz
After 3x divorced and losing everything, you have to accept that you are the problem. Not meant to be the dig that it sounds like, but you are either a bad husband OR likely, just a bad decision maker when it comes to the women you choose... Either way, the "professional bachelor" sounds like a smart move after your experience.
That being said, I can't believe this guy was so cautious, but is considering marrying his Filipina to *bring her to the states...* Bringing them to the west is like feeding gremlins after midnight! 😬😬😆😆
There's no benefit of getting married for man
Its a two way street...most women are looking for love, commitment and security from a man. From a women's perspective marriage represents those things. IF you do find a woman that ticks all the boxes then that is when its decision time. Some may try to postpone or avoid the issue but eventually it will come down to either a yes or she'll be be movin on.
Thanks for the comment
When you get the ultimatum, let her go her own way! Let her cry now... or you’ll be crying later!
Next!
Let her go because the right one will be ok with not being married
@@paulsasianadventure8050 My take on a serious relationship with a women. Lease with the option to buy. I was married for 21 years, been single since 2006. I enjoy being single but for the most part (until the final 2 years) I also enjoyed marriage. So when Phil's opens up I'll be retiring on a SRRV visa and looking for a lease with option to buy.
Place everything in a non grantor, non statutory, 1041 irrevocable trust.
Own nothing, control everything! The trust owns everything plus taxes are much lower.
No prenup needed!
Video was very good and on point right up until the last minute where he said he might bring his current GF back to west and marry her. Will be the exact same mistake he made before IMO. Another thing -- you guys over 50 need to stop kidding yourselves, too. When your early 20s GF gets to the west where 90 percent of men aren't in poverty shes upgrading to the 28 year old version of you quickly. Im all for age gap relationships but be reasonable. Most girls in their early 20s will want kids with a healthy man with years in front of him, regardless of what they tell you. In the west all the cards will be in her hands with a massive incentive to upgrade from you. Most filipinas will be in the top 20 percent of desirable women in the west just off of being skinny and friendly. Even the sweetest girl is designed to survive and practice hypergamy if its an option.
Cold hard facts!
Good points.
I'm living proof of this. No regrets but I won't do it again.
One insane truth I'll take to my grave is knowing there's men out there that will enter into a legal contract with a woman they know will be rewarded by breaking it. I'm here in the States and feel a bifurcated sensation of both sadness and extreme relief when I see the married guy pushing the stroller with that patented "thousand yard stare" that screams, "what have I done?"...dutifully following behind his overweight, smug-faced wife.
Thats exactly what is wrong currently in the west women are rewarded to do the "wrong" thing, breaking families and leading to a bunch of single Mums and all the societal problems that entail. Great comment John
Mr Carlson..you are so funny...every comment you make cracks me up....you are very wise while being hard hittingly funny!
@@kamalsud3379 Hi Kamal. Sometimes a little humor can make painfully absurd, hard-hitting truth bombs more intellectually palatable, no?
My fiancee is a pinay ,we need to get married because we might sin , because we are living together in one condo, its the sin of fornication sex without marriage
sweeping statements!....dude,hv you tried meeting filipinas on a professional level?...cheap goods attract a lot of customers!
There are no benefits to marriage for a man. It does not create a better, closer bond. What marriage will do is give the woman power over you. She can now take half your stuff. In some places that includes half your income for life as well. Even here in the US there are states where this is true. Not even a Prenup can save you. Marriage makes you "RESPONSIBLE" for her not the other way around. Once married she no longer needs to please you, but you better please her. Marriage turns an otherwise great relationship into a one sided sh*t show.
Do not married with a young filipina i dont know mostly foriegners married a young filipina
women have all the benefits of marriage and none of the risks. Men have all of the risks and none of the benefits. Make women a complement to your life, not the focus of it --- Richard Cooper
Great channel along with Kevin Samuels
@@mateor7302 agreed.
GOD>Male>Female is the purpose of life. 🙏❤❤❤ Western ways are horrible 😞 What a crazy world we live in.
Paul I disagree I got married three years ago and I never been happier with my Filipina wife
glad it worked out for you. i have been with the same woman (western) for 25 years, and have stuck it out. she has been ill for 15 years or more, and believe me it is not a good marriage. no love no sex, just work
@@secretagent86 Sheesh! Lucky I'm not you Pal!
Sorry to hear that Secret Agent. Why do you stick around? Because she is ill?
Your comments should not allowed to enter in The Philippines .I am a Foreigner your comments are so disgraceful .I am happily married for 33 Years and already retire in the Philippines .
You think in the West is better ????
I married my wife who is from China. I feel closer to her since we’re married. My love has grown since then. Marriage isn’t all bad. I had my share of bad one
Excellent
I would say YOU ARE RIGHT in the Philippines.. but "If" you find a business woman or educated professional woman "In THAILAND".. who treats you great.. she will continue to treat you great.. they don't change their stripes. (*** All bets are off if you're with a sexy woman 20 years younger or if she worked in a bar)
Paul just got married in the Philippines 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
*Never get married* 💊
Doesn't matter where you go men, as long as courts exist and or run by humans, they will be bias against men.
A couple of things to add, along with some experience. First I spent 19 years in a bad marriage with a woman who was abusive to me, but when she started in on my daughter, I left and gained full custody. I will not marry someone without first living with them for at least a year. Now I have a close family member who just went through something like this in Guatemala. He was married there and lived there for a couple of years. He NEVER brought his wife to the US and therefore the marriage was NEVER recognized by the US. Therefore according to several American divorce lawyers, they do not have to go through the process of a divorce in the US. To me, that would be the advantage to marrying there as opposed to a fiance visa. I have traveled and lived in 18 countries before I found out what was going on in my home. My family member can not go back to Guatemala and remarry but he don't care. Now if the Philippines is your only destination then just don't get married. Just my 2 cents but you have an excellent vidoe
I think that's bad advice for Americans looking at a Filipina. US gov website specifically states that it fully recognizes marriages with US citizens in the Philippines. That's why once you marry in PH you can immediately apply for relative visa to bring her to the US.
DEAR PAUL YOU ARE A VERY WISE GENTLEMAN. WOMEN NOWADAYS DO NOT APPRECIATE PEOPLE LIKE US. WE ARE LIKED FOR THE INITIAL PERIOD OF THE MARRIAGE BUT EVENTUALLY FADES AWAY SO WE MEN FOUND OURSELVES IN DISADVANTEGEOUS POSITION. WE MEN CANNOT BE STACKED IN ONE WOMAN ALL OUR LIFE. MUSLIMS MAY BE RIGHT HAVING MORE THAN ONE PROVIDING THEY CAN MAINTAIN THEM. YET MARRIAGE IN 21ST CENTURY HAS LOST ITS VALUE. MONEY PLAYS A GREAT ROLE IN WOMEN TO DECIDE FOR THEIR LIFETIME PARTNER. IF I HAD THE POWER I WOULD ABOLISH MARRIAGE PERMANENTLY OR MAKE IT LIKE EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT ONE YEAR OR TWO YEARS ETC CONTRACT. CHILDREN BE ABLE TO BE TAKEN CARE BY THE COVERNMENT. I KNOW CHURCH PEOPLE WILL DISAGREE WITH ME BUT IF YOU LOOK THE RATE OF DIVORCE ALL OVER THE WORLD YOU ARE SHOCKED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ADVICE. PLEASE KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
I agree with what you said up to around the 18 min mark. After the good reasons you mentioned for not marrying why consider bringing someone from SE Asia to "the west"? Between her possible westernization and age gap the risk/reward ratio would be worse. A pre-nup might help but why put yourself in a situation where you might still need lawyers, still cost you $$$, stress and possible heartache in the 1st place?
Agree. Great video by Paul, but marriage anywhere is a horrible concession unless the man is truly desperate to have a family at any cost to his finances and emotional health. The ladies who don't want the kids are after the green card, often they are Uni grads, and will monkey branch in 3 years if not sooner. Being snipped is just as important as any pre-nup. What's yours is hers and what's hers is hers in divorce. Peace.
Good point LeftLaneCruising
I would never get married or buy property in the Philippines.
Never buy more house in the Philippines than you are willing to walk away from. From the beginning think of it as a gift to your bride. Renting is great but as in most Spanish based cultures the wife thinks little of a man that can not afford his own home. If you separate she will keep the home and settle for nothing more if there is a prenup.
There is no reason to get married, unless u have children together.
Are you saying "Dont get married at all" (if you don't have to) or "Dont get married in the Philippinies" (But if you do have to get married then marry in another country)
Dont get married at all. It has no benefit. Tell the woman of she really loves you then the state shouldnt have to get involved and sh3 can take it or leave it
If you don't understand his advice, then just don't get married, unless she is very rich & your very poor.
@@SunRise-ul7ko My comment does look odd considering Paul explains it in the video... however this comment was posted prior to video release. Sometimes Vlogers like Paul release teaser messages ahead of time. That’s what happened here...
my house was 700.000 peso here in the ph. .i get kickt out i lose 700.000 peso 13000 euro. if i buy house in europe .is easy around 200.000 euro . if i get kickt out there or something go wrong i lose 200.000 euro .
Marriage to my wife saved my life she is from Samar we have been together 17 years
She couldn't save your life without getting married first huh?
You're definitely a very good husband sir, married to a very good and loving Filipina, that's why you're marriage REALLY WORKED! I salute you, and congrats for your happy 😊 marriage!
Congrats, John, !, I only wish I had known how much fish plays a high place in diet! 🤢
Yeh hey I'm filipina 44 year's old and never been married since birth . LoL 🤣🤣🤣😆😆😆
If I will Marry I will protect my husband caused 2 became 1 if I marry my husband belong to me and he belongs to me.
It's depends the woman u got if u got woman from bar then u have terrible crazy life here Philippines, but if u choose godly woman then u have good life here Philippines.
Choose wisely. Either bad or good.
Anywhere in world there's bad or good wife even though in western or in Asia.
In the Philippines, even splitting up after just living together ( common law ) is risky. Assets after moving in will be divided with the spouse.
How long do you have to live together before it’s considered common law?
In jamaica 3 years
Westerners never judge a gili8 with money thing issue..true we can't get equal income same as u do!! consider pH as poor country never compare our earning never compare peso over dollars..but if u truly love your wife 5k peso a month won't hurt u folks..and NOT ALL Filipinas will leave u behind because of mine thing issue! remember buying your wife a home is showing u genuinely cares and is willing to protect her..no woman will leave marriage without a reason!! marriage is a gift from God ! Marriage comes with courage don't get married if u guys are coward !!if you're thinking badly on filipinas to whoever your gf now it means u are not committed , u will do anything for the sake of true love...most west pips treating filipinas as a slave just because what???we are poor in a way u think? U guys are destroying filipinas image not all are the same!I felt sorry for all who are left and got divorced but never think all Filipinas will do the same..if u find real love from God marriage will never be destroyed..I believe put God in the center of marriage , never count to your wife/gf never compare..just saying
Great video so true ! My friend already hooked up with Thai chick before he's even moved to Thailand he's making BIG Mistake to each his own
I will never get married in Philippines because theres no divorce an annulment is expensive
Your paranoid about getting married in the Philippines so far the best decision I’ve made so far however being married to a traditional lady ! I wonder if you will say the same thing after being with Mia for year hopefully u don’t break her heart and vice versa if you don’t marry her , because she’s being more confident if you don’t give her what she wants and or needs she may find someone who will give her what she wants as a stepping stone up to something better so you may lose too ! However your right about dangerous situations so hopefully her family has better morals with less dangers ! I remember the look on Mias face when she was asked about getting married! Your arguments are very factual however you may loose the love of your life which you may regret ,life’s a gamble as we both know since we both have been divorced before!
Mia better keep her diet. Or maybe we have to show a little more respect to these girls.
Marry lady with same amount money as you then you'll not have doubts about a gold digger
Mia is a smart girl. She has to see at least 6 Red Flags when watching this video.
More like 10 🤣🤣
What are her options, she can put up with Paul's non-marriage stance, or she can go back to the province, to work 12 hours a day as a maid or caregiver, for $0.50 (fifty cents) per hour!
@@walkerskii So he's her employer? I recognise that's not what you meant, but it follows logically.
@@walkerskii The young woman is not naive . They both are together equally beneficially.
There’s nothing wrong with conditional love if that’s what both aspire to have .
@@robbyrose6904 Robbie how do you know she is not naive? I've been following Paul for a year, I notice she's idealistic & hoping he'll change his mind about marriage & children. She is very young & innocent, ahe has very little life experience & not much in the way of other options.
you are basically discouraging westeners getting married to a filipina,,,but do u encourage them to keep a filipina as long as they like and then dump them?are u saying that they are just like a toy?whether a marriage works or otherwise,,,it all depends on both of u,,,marriage is beautiful,,,how u manage is important,,,probably u didnt manage it well,,,thats why u failed twice,,,,sorry to say that as people say,,,truth is always difficult to be swallowed..if u feel marriage is always a failure,,,please dont go around in philippines looking for beautiful girls,,,u guys dont deserve it,,,if your parents were to have the same thinking as u do on marriage,,,u wouldnt be here today,,,
So if two grown ups are in a relationship and it does not worked, obviously the man is the abuser? Do you hear yourself there bud? What if a 25 yo man dated a 45 yo women and then it ended would we say that the woman abused the man? NO, its societies programming that makes you think this way, the woman is always the abused no matter what.....
@@paulsasianadventure8050 well,,,u cannot say the man is the abuser or the woman ,,,it goes case by case,,,anyway,,u dont live for the society ,,,dont worry too much what the society perceives,,,do what u think is right,,that will make u happy,,Paul,,,i hope its just a healthy discussion,,,my opinion may be wrong,,,i wish u all the best buddy,,
6:14 🧢🧢🧢 nah you know she lying. Occam's razor
My advice to foreigners be smart ,dont shower your Filipina gf with money and materials things they will love the things that you give but not you.If you pick up those girls and bars don’t expect much from them because they’re hunting guys who can support them including their clan.😂I’m a Filipina and I work hard not to lean on anybody else.
Marry a woman with virtue regardless where she came from. and one has to know what's marriage is all about.
"Marriage, then, is a creative work. Both parties must labor to make a beautiful marriage. The wreckage of the miserable marriages we see all about us today is due mainly to this: that one or the other or both parties did not know - or did not have the maturity or psychological freedom to act upon this knowledge - that to make a marriage work means to work at making a marriage"
True. But the problem is deeper than that. The institution of marriage and the family has been under attack for decades by numerous forces that conspire to destroy marriages or make them less stable. No fault divorce, the sexual revolution and promiscuity, access to contraception, pornography, etc.
@@michaelk969 that's why I said marry a woman with virtues, but mostly these women holds a conservative view on marriage, family and moral issues they are difficult to find in our secular world where everything is disposable. The problem you've mentioned are called vices which can only be countered by virtues.
With regards to the video, one can easily see red flags in a relationship but hardly being confronted until it's too late. Like it or not when you marry someone you marry the family as well. My sister was married to a foreign diplomat for 20 years but we as siblings never took advantage of my sister's marriage to a foreign diplomat. We treat our brother in law like a regular fellow not a gold mine because it's immoral to take advantage of someone regardless of race, age and status.
The worse thing a guy can do, IS GET MARRIED TO A GIRL WHO HAS KIDS
smart man, never, never get married without a pre-nup. saves alot of heartache in the end if it ends ugly..
it does 50% of the time
Hello,Hello I am married for 52 years to the same man. We both need each other. He could not do well without me.
I never demanded anything because we both had nothing.
We had children and there doing well.
We had our hard times but we worked it out.
We are not people that that want to much . We are happy that we have enough to cover our needs and more.
We can take a yearly holiday.
Also in these days you don’t need to get married. A couple after 1 year is automatically have the same rights as a married couple.
If that ring is a sign a security than there are problems already.
@@evelinholmes6401 Is that in the Philippines, Ms Evelin? One year together as a couple and you have the same rights as a married couple? Thanks!
Hello Paul🤗. This is a very thought eye opening topic for me and it’s a reality that in this present age, men tend to lose out their years of hard earned assets to the woman who will change after getting married. I amnot married but have been a hopeless romantic man who still dreams of marriage since high school. I have seen my married friends who sometimes advises me to remain single after seeing their differences came up with their partner afterwards after marriage. No one wants to be Lonely as the song says. I guess it’s a choices of what we prepared to lose.. a comfortable life of being free to do what we want or have a partner but with consequences for a longtime. I would still try to retire in the Philippines 🇵🇭 when the time comes😄. Thank you Paul for many of your thoughts enlightening videos. 🙏🏻🤗Take care be safe Always👍🏻🙏🏻.
"WHEN" it ends ugly...
What to gain from being married for 1 that's the way God intended it to be is for man to be married to a woman and when you live for God and you have a Godly relationship and you put God first then you put your own desires away so it's not always about me me me as you stated in the beginning of this video what about me and my needs and that's probably why your marriage didn't work out in the first place or your second marriage or however many times that you have been married his you did not have God in your life and you didn't have God be the center of your marriage because when God is Not ahead of anything then everything that you try to do will fail
God's purpose in creating of marriage is to create a community of love - the family. The speculation about the reason for Paul's divorces adds nothing to the conversation. You don't know what happened in his personal case.
I understand that having a God-centered marriage is essential to make it last.
But Paul is addressing the current situation that men find themselves in today in which radical feminism and approval of sexual license have found their way into the court system. The divorce courts are brutal and unfair to men in a dramatic way. If financial settlements in divorces were handled justly then men would not need to make a risk/benefit analysis prior to marriage. Men are forced to look soberly at the possibilities these days and take precautions to protect themselves as much as possible. This is not unreasonable.
Hey Paul my friend, I have no answers as well. I'm still trying to find some answers. The advice you gave is spot on. Thank you for sharing this awesome video my friend. Please stay safe and healthy.
Haha jaded much? 😂😂😂
I agree already Paul
lol
From a purely material perspective, avoiding marriage does not free you of the state's intrusion into your relationship. Chapter 7 of the Philippines' marriage code imposes rules upon income earned and property acquired by those living together outside of wedlock.
From a spiritual perspective, there are enormous benefits which flow to a man from a mutual lifelong commitment to a biblically-oriented, God-honoring Christian marriage. I fear that your entirely materialistic worldview robs you of access to those benefits.
FYI, divorce is allowed in the Philippines. Called a Muslim divorce & it's legally recognized. Not well known outside of Mindanao, where the majority of Phils Muslims reside. There are lawyers who specialize in getting it for non-Muslims. It can be tricky & requires faith conversion(on paper) but it's doable. I speak from experience
cool !
Would not recite sha ha da for anything; Qur'an sura 9.
Rent
Rent
Rent
Great points. In the Philippines don’t buy anything, including women. Only rent. If the woman can’t behave you can ditch her in 5 minutes and get another girl the next day. If you are married then it might take 10 years to offload her and at great cost too. You could be completely ruined financially.
Good points.
Thanks for the wise words
You were right and I was a victim of it. I get out of my marriage and have got good lawyer I retained my property but lost some of my money.
Thank you for telling the truth about marriage in the Philippines. Marriage only benefits the Filipino women because you become trapped in that relationship. The financial difference is enormous because the Filipino women provides very little income. Remember a Filipino women’s loves her family, friends, country first and you will always be second. Great story and fantastic video. 🙏
Heard the same about Thai women outside of Bangkok except that even the family dog comes ahead of you.
Oh hell yes their family comes before you Sucker! WAAAAY before!!! I know what I speak of!!!
If you don't like our Filipino culture, then never find girl here..
If you don't like our Filipino culture, then never find girl here..
So True................Amen
Access to the country in these covid times is the only thing I can think of
Is it already open for vaccinated tourists?
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free....
It sounded like men are always the victim. Go figure.
In todays feminist imperative court system almost always yes
Excellent video. Really got me thinking 🤔 especially the story you told . Highlighting the difference between the rich and the poor . Thanks Paul .
Have a great weekend.
Glad you liked it, Abigail.
I got married in the Philippines. After a while we decided it wasn't a good idea. So I went back to America and filed for divorce here in the states. As part of the process I needed her to sign something declaring that she gives up any claim to any of my property and any future support. She signed it. I've never had any problems since. She is still in the process of completing an annulment over there. Neither of us has any ill will toward the other.
What's your point, most women will not make so easy.
You got lucky, could have easily drawn this out and wrecked your life.
She is rare and you were lucky
The Bible says sex outside of marriage separates you from God, that's a hard one to get around. I wonder if I can do a prenup with God, where he'll allow me to have a live-in girlfriend & still go to heaven?
Sorry that's not what the bible says at all. It's just that you've been told that your whole life by your parents and pastors that you've come to believe it unquestioningly.
Hi Paul I stopped the video to write this because I'm sure your getting a huge response probable negative. some comments like, "just find the right girl" or "take your time" or bla bla bla bla... I agree with your video %100. no way take a filipin to the west if she is young (in her 20s, 30s or even 40s) and what benefit is it for us men? OH MY GOD I SAID MEN,,,, F me PC PC is... women just love themselves in USA.....
Willie stuck in seattle
OMG I can say so much just about seattle.
Facts
See you soon the Ph Willie? LoL
@@paulsasianadventure8050 Love your honest and open minded videos especially with relationships...dont be tainted by outside negativity that I know can come your way.
\willie stuck in seattle..
This is one of Paul’s best videos. Men considering moving to the PH should watch this
thx IMA
Not good advise these girls won't a husband not a dick they can get that anywhere any time
One of your best vids Paul. Thank you. Please share with your viewers what mistakes you made in the past as it relates to marriage with a Filipina. Thanx again. From USA
MOstly covered that in other vids
@@paulsasianadventure8050 name 1. Thank you
First time watch this guy’s video. I like this guy so much. Awesome advice for all men. I am sure it applies to all of us in the USA and rest of the world. I wish my dad would teach me when I was younger 😂
“Men on Strike”.......written by Hellen Smith (PhD)......Why men are boycotting marriage fatherhood and the American dream and why it matters
I will have to check it out
@@paulsasianadventure8050 You don't have to check out the book, Paul. Just type "Helen Smith Interview" in RUclips and you'll see her review the tenets of her book. She's an amazing woman who lays bare the truth about what a sh*t deal marriage is for Western men.
@@mister_vegas Yeah, but it's still exotically refreshing to watch RUclips videos of her interviews...actually seeing a sane, intelligent and surprisingly attractive hetero woman lay bare the truth.
Marriage is legalized prostitution in fact it’s more costly than hiring a Pro.
Excellent Paul.
Rule 1...NEVER get married...
Rule 2...NEVER make yourself worth more dead than alive
Rule 3...NEVER get married in a 3 world bc now your worth more dead than alive.
Rule 4...Marriage is an insurance policy for an ever depreciating asset, which you will find out about if you didn't listen to rule #1 ...
Good Rules. Tosh is that Scandinavian?
Did you know also, if you meet a lady fall in love and sleep with her,
if she is still married as you correctly state no divorce and an
annulment is to expensive for a lady there, the LEGAL married husband
can have you put in PRISON for sleeping with he's legal with, despite
him not living with her and despite her not telling you in fear of losing you, BUT the ex and he's family will usually simply BLACKMAIL
you, this also goes for any house you jointly own or business or land ,
the ex can lay claim legally as what is hers is he's also in the
Philippines...Napakalinito ninyong mga kababaihan ingat
Thx for the comment Ray, very good points