Told two people outside of my family. Broke up with the 1st one. The 2nd said “You don’t have autism. Why would you think that?” I replied with “cause thats what my neurophysiologist said I am. I’ve learned whats acceptable socially and I fake it everyday.” Then moved on with our conversation.
Sorry to hear that. Same with me. Last time I saw my mother, she said she'd watched videos how autistic people can just switch off their heightened sensory sensitivity, and only switch it on when they need them. Okay. Not helpful when you're so debilitated from autistic burnout and trauma where, in my case, I basically haven't been able to get out of bed for months. I expected to recover faster, too, but it seems the older I get, the harder it is to recover from burnout, and it's never 100% anyway. Anyway - when I'm rested and have somewhat recovered, I can tolerate taxing environments better - though ever since I've heard about unmasking, it's becoming more and more difficult to put on enough of a mask to be acceptable... Oops, I'm rambling, didn't mean to write so much. Anyway - all the best to you. It brings me great joy how autism and ADHD are slowly becoming more recognised for what they are and their implications - at least among self-aware affected people...
@@George-qr1mf it's okay to 'ramble' or 'go off on tangents' here this is a safe space, no need to apologise you can be you if someone is not able to read it at that moment, they can not read it and that's all good as well just wanted to let you know, this time around i read your comment and related also 'switching off heightened sensory sensitivity' sounds like a dangerous degree of masking, perhaps even some form of dissociation (?) especially since how i imagine it to be is (or as it has been for me, as i've come to realize while writing this reply) to mask your reactions-reflexes, it doesn't stop one from getting the sensory input, it just teaches a person that their pain etc. is not to be shown, is not real, does not matter and that one should just suffer in silence if it teaches one to hide-not talk about, their pain or experiences, then the person will keep everything to themselves and tolerate things that might be treatable-curable, say headaches, small wounds, depressive thoughts etc. or could be dealt away with an intermission, say bullying or any kind of other maltreatment there won't be support, help or advice offered, even if that might be all that's needed to alleviate the negative feelings born from these issues and lower the frequency of such things occuring and what makes it even worse, is that some aid may have been readily available all that time so all this just to say 'do not take yor mother's words to heart, there is no need for you to mask such things in the first place and her trying to advocate the opposite, is harmful in the way that were you not in the throes of a burnout and had started unmasking, you might've tried to mask this way and caused youself undue harm in the long run (in fact you might have already been masking this way and know exactly what i'm getting at here) (now, as i have trouble giving myself the same grace as others, let me just quickly throw in an apology for getting lost in my stream of thoughts here -my apologies, fellow member of the neurodivergent nation, for suddenly constructing a decorative mural of text right underneath your comment -relatably, me) (thank you if you read this far, and no worries if you did not) (why do i have to hesitate so much about actually posting the reply.. sigh.. okay, here goes -deep breath in- aaand-)
@@George-qr1mf Hi George. I’ve lived with debilitating anxiety, depression, and mood disorders for decades. Diagnosed ASD two years ago. Started the self-education, unmasking, and “coming out” process at that time. The more I learn how my autistic brain functions, and progress with unmasking (AKA I no longer care what others think about my behavior and thinking), my psychiatric disabilities have almost completely resolved. Able to hold down a job (and excel at it) for the first time, and a very challenging and intense one at that (psych nurse). Trying to make my autistic brain be not autistic was causing my problems. Fix the source, the problem are fixed. I encourage to try this for yourself.
For neurotypical people who are unkind or dismissive of us, I feel the need to assign a disorder that appears to have blossomed. The Aversion To Difference Disorder or ATDD.
I classify neurotypicals into level 1, level 2, or level 3 support needs. Level 1 have fairly good awareness and are willing to put in the effort to try to understand and accommodate. Level 3 are the ones who perceive autistic behaviours as rudeness, selfishness, laziness, etc. They need a LOT of education to co-exist with us. Level 2 is somewhere in between.
I just opened up to a friend, and she said "What do you hope to gain from telling me this, a sense of pity? You're just eccentric and have anxiety. We don't have to put a label on it. Autism is non-verbal kids hitting themselves." She didn't give me a chance to explain, I tried to start talking about masking but didn't get far. Didn't have any empathy about why I was opening up about it. Feel so dismissed, and bullied, I don't think she's a good friend for me anymore.
Dang. As an eccentric late-talking kid who hurt themself... I'm going to share some very fancy imaginary cupcakes with you, while your friend gets none. *sends a cat for supportive hug*
What do I hope to gain? Understanding... Don't feel so bad, its not easy. I went into a conversation with my brother at 37 years old (he is 39) about actually putting a label on this and he was really squirming away from it. I was ready though, I had no less than 5 major things about myself that he couldn't refute that had strong autism ties. In the end he just admitted my family and people near it wanted to treat me like everyone else and not risk triggering something to cause more meltdowns, suchas figuring out exactly what was wrong with me. I had to live most of my life just thinking I could be very moody and it was just some bad traits I needed to get over, not that I had physically been wired differently. Maybe that was or was not the best choice for me, I'm not sure, but I understand why they came to that conclusion after seeing my own actions. It's hard for people to believe this is nothing more than another fad for now, but it's here to stay.
I argue that girls actually present the same, but we are still ignored like with most health conditions. I had all the classic symptoms, but it was brushed off as me being shy and weird. Girls are also punished for acting out or being themselves. Boys are rewarded and allowed to be children.
Thanks so much for this. I'm 58 and just recently realized I'm autistic. The guy falling down the mountain was a perfect example of most of my life. I'm sore n angry now. Also tried telling a few people n sharing vids. But they treat me like it's no biggie, expecting me to stay masked, when for the 1st time ever I'm trying to figure out the real me. I can tell you I'm angry at how much people abused my kindness and was treated bad a lot, most of my life. Like I was ignored or like I was talking in a foreign language, never actually HEARD. I just stay by myself now, it's too exhausting.
You're not alone in these feelings. First with my ADHD diagnosis at 25, and now realizing at 41 that I'm likely autistic-well, I understand what a seismic inner event this kind of realization is, and how neurotypicals tend to brush it off, not realizing how vulnerable you've made yourself by disclosing it. I also spend as much time by myself as possible, but we all get lonely. My best advice is to try to find an online community with a lot of neurodivergent members. Neurodivergent strangers online have been kinder and more validating to me than the people I actually know in real life have ever been. Solidarity! 🩶
@@nailati Thanks for replying, I have lots of online friends, but I miss RL community.. Hope to find that again, but most likely ND'S because I think we're a different species, and honest. I'm tired of NT's factory sameness, disappointments, etc, kinda boring to me.
51 now, and self-diagnosed during the pandemic. The downtime from life (not working for the first time since I was 16) gave me time to answer the question that has been plaguing me for 35 years - What is wrong with me? Still coming to terms, but this video and the comments here are a step in the right direction. @sherrym5556 I can tell you from experience that I have a few (very few) close RL friends, and you are correct - they are all ND. They just get me, and I get them. Also I agree with the different species comment - personally I believe that autism is our next evolutionary step....
A really good piece of advice a psychologist gave someone I know at the time they were told they were autistic was about social interaction. The psychologist gave the person a list of books and said that the books explained how to navigate among neurotypicals, what the 'normal' for neurotypicals was in reactions, behaviour, etc. He told the person that they always have options: they can read the books and learn to 'blend in' or they can read the books and pick and choose situations where they want to blend in or they can just be themselves and behave 'normally' for them. He told the person that it was entirely up to them and that as an autistic person they had many advantages including these options.
My twins are currently doing testing and it has had me look twice at myself. Maybe I didn't recognize their most likely autism because I'm autistic too and their behaviors were my "normal."
I've found that a lot of neuro typical people do not like to learn new things. Seems like they only have energy for survival and not much beyond that point. About the only thing that can seemingly force/inspire them to learn something new is if it is school or work. The only people I've seen to educate themselves more have been other autistic people and people who are survivors of trauma who push themselves to get better for themselves and to spite the cruel people who tried to break them.
Something that I did with my dad was, when I found the resources I was sharing with him, we actually sat down and watched the videos together. It started with How To ADHD, and moved on to Autism From The Inside. We would discuss what was being presented as the videos went on and how it relates to me and my life. As a result, our relationship improved quite a lot, since he has a better understanding. Is it a perfect understanding? No. Will it ever be? No. Is it enough? Yes, and that's the important bit.
I was talking to a friend I'd known a long time a couple of years back. When I mentioned being autistic, she changed mid sentence and started talking to me as though my mental age had dropped to a child's level, really patronising. That really stung, and I have never spoken with her/her family since; in fact I avoid them as I have no idea how to react now. They seemingly avoid me too. 😢
I just shut the door to their "opportunity" because they blew it. What's the alternative? I communicated that my love for them is constant but my willingness to be dismissed and abused is done. My heart is broken but the breaking has been slowly happening over the past 3 years. I don't want to cry any more. I want to live. I want to develop my gifts and be recognized for them. I can't do it while remaining in relationships so abusive. I dropped the mask...female masking for 20 years in a marriage. I am a stranger to them now and they aren't interested in the new me. But there's no going back...the mask doesn't fit now.
I cannot emphasize enough to take it seriously when someone makes a point of showing this video to you. Especially if there is a sense of hope in them as they do. Videos by this channel, and others such as autisamatic, autism from the inside, and mom on the spectrum have put into words things I've not been able to express, things that are absolutely critical to understand if someone wants to help. I've struggled my entire life, and no amount of therapy or medication has been able to address the core issue - I function differently. And I cannot tell you how draining it is to need help, but you can't be helped because those trying to help you are trying to fix the wrong thing. This can often make everything worse.
I would love a version of this video without all the edited clips in it. The information in this video is really good, but I would lose most people that I would show this to because they wouldn't get it.
My brother was diagnosed with adhd and my dad died when we were young. So my brother had the spotlight with the backdrop of my father's death, so I slipped through the cracks. I began what I now know is "masking" around the 3rd grade. About 5 years ago, I attempted suicide by jumping out a vehicle in the highway, traveling 55+ mph. I knew I was different. Not better than, just different and found myself extremely popular while masking but suffering extremely with the exhaustion. Well anyways, my mom is vehemently against me being autistic. That doesn't bother me as much as the time blindness does but it's an extremely lonely feeling.
Very grateful for this video,I'm still learning but it's giving me peace of mind. My father,oldest brother didn't get diagnosed until till later in life and recently found out my daughter was on the spectrum. I was 2 in half premature baby in 70s. Diagnosed with severe ADHD. I haven't been able to get help or screening yet. The help available to me isn't to much or that much they can do because I have no insurance but Medicaid and SSI. Long story short I'm still trying to put my life together. I've been very isolated and no luck w social media.
This probably explains my relationships and employment history. Explains my family too. They are ALL autistic or undiagnosed autistic. My few friends are also autistic. I rarely make it at any job more than 6 months before I have a meltdown or I slowly fall apart and I get myself canned. I just tell employers now that I have a business where I just fill in for other managers on a temporary basis while I retain the ability to also pursue my own projects. And if they like me, we can talk about something longer term... Or it's more if I like them ha. I'm pretty senior level in management at this point. Had an interview the other day but they just had an open cube farm. While they seem like a great outfit and I will get paid well, I cannot be in a cube farm. There is no way.
Thank you for all your videos. They have answered a lot of my questions and some of my worries. I feel a little better about self diagnosing but still feel as though I am a poser. I'm trying to be kind to myself and gift myself with time. However it has been difficult when I already feel like I don't deserve to describe myself as autistic, accompanied with feeling like no one in my family or my partner and his family are supportive or even willing to try and understand when I bring the topic up. Watching this particular video had really touched home with me and I actually cried for a bit with mixed emotions. I'll be sending this video to the previously mentioned in hopes that they will become a little more open minded about everything and hopefully we can all become closer and strengthen our relationships. I have one request if you're still making videos.... Can you please make one about autistic meltdowns? There isn't a whole lot out there on the topic. For example; do adults have these angry outbursts where it can be difficult to control what you say to people? Followed by perhaps wanting to throw things? Do they cry uncontrollably once the anger wave has subsided and feel the need to either self soothe or needing to be consoled or soothed by someone close with kind words or hugs? (That's the only time I want a hug and will accept one without cringing) Do they feel any physical symptoms before they have a meltdown; for example I get what feels like butterflies in my stomach and a ball of pure energy that's going to explode, and I will sometimes get shaky and my heart rate speeds up and I feel like I'm about to cry. Do they fall asleep afterwards? After I have one of these episodes I always fall asleep and it's usually while I'm still crying and the crying is at that point in waves. My mind will start to relax and my crying is almost stopped and then my mind will replay either the thing that set me off or it replays my embarrassing shameful display of the whole anger crying thing and I will start crying really hard all over again and will do this until I've fallen asleep. I never remember falling asleep. I never dream. I always sleep about 15 to 40 mins long. When I wake up I feel mostly better but can't help but still feel embarrassed so I avoid everyone for a few days until someone says something to me that's friendly. This lets me know they have let my horrible behavior go and I start to become more relaxed again. Lastly, if anyone else has had any experience like this or close to it, do they see the whole thing from the inside looking out and in their mind protesting and telling themselves to stop it, trying to stop it all to no avail and finding out later about things they might have said or done with no memory of it? This happens to me every now and then. It seems to happen more when I am tired or stressed but they're really bad when I'm tired or stressed and feel like I'm not being heard when I try to warn anyone I'm not handling things well and they aren't helping to calm the environment or respect my boundaries and personal space. I apologize for the line of questions and for kinda just dumping this all right here... It's been heavy on my mind and this felt like a safe space to seek the answers I'm looking for. Thank you again for your hard work on the videos and your shared knowledge and experience. -Dawn
You deserve more viewers. This video really made me tearful at the end. Thank you for saying the words for us that many of us can't... I'm so grateful. I will be sending this to my loved ones. P.S. Anyone who uses Hot Rod clips to get their point across is alright in my book. That is hands-down my MOST quoted movie of all time (I've started to realise how the echolalia presents in various ways), and my favourite.
Yep my sister...whom I didnt tell..... found out about my diagnosis and a year after my dagnosis of asd came forward saying she knew about it when i was going though it and didnt believe my diagnosis she works with autistic kids and has or 15 years and that she knows me shared a room with me as a kid etc and said I am just an over thinker and I should forget the diagnosis and get on wth it and the clincal psych is just somone with a piece of paper So I have been totally invalidated .now suffer with imposter syndrome I didnt tey to defend my diagnosis or educate her because she thinks she knows all She is my older sister Oh the damage and she jst goes on her merry way Ouch.
I wish to suggest trying clinical eft techniques for this as it works really well with these types of issues and you can learn if for free in different ways. My channel has free resources on it as well and I did create a free course to use it in the heated moments and how to take advantage and it will work for this as well. I am just a Reiki teacher and EFT coach and work with sound and ASMR/ART so I don't diagnose nor do therapy etc. but I personally have used this and I can attest it's amazing and very independent. It's free anyway so nothing to loser. Plus, anything you sign up for you can also unsubscribe so no future emails etc. Some people are not ready for the change and they are also there mirroring how we feel inside but there are ways to unblock this in a very organic manner that works specifically for each individual's needs. This is why I love eft and sound/art together, so personally customized and always right for the person. Sending you good vibes that you can find your way. EFT universe is another great org that shows the science and offers free info and a mini manual, for those who prefer reading.
Brother thank you for making this important and eye-opening video. I know this will help others. Should our paths ever cross, I owe you a bear hug and a coffee. You've given me a way to help both my mother and my beloved wife finally be able to perceive and accept that I am autistic. I didn't choose it; it chose me. The only thing that scares me is I believe my wife also is somewhere on this wide spectrum; I'm afraid on the one hand that she will see your your video and freak out; yet on the other hand, I know that I must and will show both my wife and my mom this video. It's weird how we are all so unique in our autistic traits, yet it seems to me that when we become aware of our state of affairs, we all seem to get each other somehow. At 59 years old, I've known for a month now. Finally all the unanswered questions became answered at once; and on a way It's freeing. I finally understand why all the anguish, and the how and why of me putting people off consistently since my youth, but I was blind to it. But I have peace about it now. It isn't what I would have chosen for myself, but since being free of it will never be an option for me in this life, at least the world finally makes sense to this auristic person. And to my own surprise, I'm starting to recognize which of my character traits are influenced by autism (which aren't?!), and how they have actually helped me be stronger and better in some ways than I would otherwise have been. Yet it seems that overall, such benefits have been offset by ways that being autistic has cost me financially and socially. But I think I've missed out on a lot of experiences that only neurotypicals can have. Anyway, so life goes on I suppose.
The first person I mentioned it to was as former coworker. Her young son was diagnosed. I was trying to open up a conversation with her on Facebook after she made a post. She was talking about ABA, and how much she just wanted her son to make eye contact with her and say I love you. The post I had made a comment on was about some issues she was having with him. Honestly she just wasn’t interpreting his behavior right and was pushing him into these meltdowns. The first thing she said was “What’s your experience with autism?” Or something like that it was longer, but the rest was fluff. I told her that I was autistic and my brother is formally diagnosed too. She asked about my diagnosis. At the time it was a self-diagnosis, and I said as such. Her response “Well you don’t LOOK autistic.” What does look have anything to do with it? Anyone, I mentioned that I struggled with certain things that her son does and have learned how to modify my behavior. I spent most of my life masking. I wasn’t quite normal, but I wasn’t the obviously adhd/autistic girl either (I was born in 85, and we all know how few girls got diagnosed them.) about a year later, I had noticed I hadn’t seen a post from her in a long time. Discovered she wasn’t in my friend list anymore. I hope she has learned more about autism… I felt so bad for her son. She just wasn’t getting him. The next person, well he brought it up with me. my husband and I were in the car. The car is a safe place for certain conversations as neither of us are obligated to look at eachother. He mentioned I might be autistic. And I just looked at him and said “I know, I’ve been researching it for 5 years now and have been in an autistic-led pfacebook community and I finally feel like I found MY people.” I have my diagnosis now.. officially I was being referred for diagnostics for ADHD confirmation when a new Dr didn’t like my stimulant usage. I wrote it in my history report that it was a “concern” of mine because of the research I’ve done and my family history. The only people I’ve told is my immediate family and my in-laws on my husbands moms side (his parents got divorced when he was a kid.) My MIL was already VERY accommodating with me whenever we visit, but now she understands it a helluva lot more. For me, it brought up the memory of the first time I met her. We had a dinner at a restaurant on a pier in Rhode Island, I kept looking out into the water as we were right by the window. She told him she didn’t know what he saw in me-she thought I was a bit slow, distractable, flighty, and uninteresting. That’s usually how it goes when I don’t know someone-my brain gets jammed up trying to talk, I trip over my words, and I don’t know when to interject into the conversation. I’ve known her for over 10 years now and we are much better. I doubt she remembers that dinner, but it hurts a little bit thinking back on it. Not just her.. just all the times I was being excluded and disliked because I was autistic.
Thank you. I do hope I can share this because I have had so much invalidation from loved ones and medical community. I’m 58 and have recently been diagnosed autistic and adhd. So much unraveling and putting back together again in the face off denial. I am tired however I do have compassion for myself and loved ones. I will be patient and try not to shut down on them. This is generational awareness and healing and I am hopeful with time for me and my families future 🙏🏴
Thanks for the video! Honestly, I want to send this to my mom, but the clips edited in are too much for me. Wonderful message though! Thanks for making content to help others ☺️
Exactly. The intention of the video is good, but with the clips it is just not suitabe for many people. It should radiate "normality" helping acceptance, than a lot of weird quotes from movies.
The more I interact with critters, especially Cats and, surprisingly, Spiders, the more I suspect that Austism is "Natural" and it's Allistic folks that're the weird ones.
Just discover this video. And I really like the information you giving. I am a adult and have been diagnosed with autism now 2 years ago. And I really struggling with telling people about it. I think that if I going to tell people that I recommend this video to watch. Because you explain it so good in my opinion.
my response to someone telling me they're autistic was 'oh few, that's a relief, me to, guess that means we don't need to figure that chunk of communication out, caring on'. and ya know, its weird, most autistic people who know they are autistic have an easy time identifying other autistic people, but I'm not so great at it, I only know one person who isn't autistic, so telling if the person is allistic or just similar to my dad (the only allistic I know) is tricky, but most of the people I have made friends with for a short while were either autistic or we just didn't talk long enough to get around to it. but I'm happy to say you passed the 'oh god this person has know clue what they're talking about' when it comes to autism test, yay. tho you also said you were autistic, so the score for allistic people passing is still zero, but hey, I've seen way to many cases of autistic people who don't except that they are autistic saying the most stupid stuff, so still a plus.
Again, love the info and style and humor, and tif you lowered the background music, it would be much better. Btw, I'm neurotypical and can't filter it out. :)
Great info and love the way you arrange the music etc. I work with sound and eft and reiki and it would be helpful to talk to someone like to to customize some techniques for the autistic audience so they can take advantage of useful free stuff I personally think everyone should know for their own good. The ignorance is real but the only way to change is to share. I myself took until last year to fully figure out I was high masking and did suffer imposter syndrome because of several reasons and I think both my mom and pop families were afflicted. The thing is when one has PTSD or CPTSD becomes harder to distinguish between them and the autism and so I used all this stuff purely for the CPTSD and realized the austic traits also benefinited. I am talkinb about those traits that can become a bother at times while having to cope with over react ions to food or environments, migraines.......... So, I think it would be nice to do research and offer help to the neurodivergent community specifically as these modalities are amazing and anyone can learn them. We need stuff available to everyone not just to doctors as many of us are not doctors and will never be or don't even use pharma in any way~ Much love, great seeing this type of work being done.
I was distracted by that beautiful bass on the wall, and even tried to figure out what brand / type it is (google images says it's a Dean Edge in trans amber).. which might tell something about my personality 😆
👋 Hi, high-masking Autist here. Thank you for making this video. I'd also like to point out studies based on biological sex assigned at birth are very imbalanced, typically biasing towards young AMAB children. Some of us are transgender (including folx who identify with a nonbinary gender or even no gender at all), and later in life, this anecdotally tends to lead to more stigma/bias resulting in never getting diagnosed. For more substantial info, I encourage you to look up some of the recent meta analyses published that indicate a correlation between those with gender variation and with autism. That being said, I had my diagnosis at 7, but it's done barely anything for me since resources are inaccessible due to me being high masking
My friend recently suggested that I may be autistic. I couldn't sleep for DAYS. I took online tests, says I am positive for autism, I took another online test in my native language and it says I am not autistic. Talked to my friends, they make fun of me now. Talked to my mother (she studied child psychology), she said I want attentions and DRUGS (I am not aware of any way to cure autism, might just be not educated enough). Talked to my father (he is comparing me to Sheldon from Big Bang Theory since I was 10 years old to make me laugh) and he prohibited me from talking about it. Talked to my local child psychology expert, she said I can wait until 18 and do the tests without anyone knowing (I am currently 15). She saved me, I can finally sleep again.
As a 65 year old woman recently diagnosed with autism and ADD, my life has always been a struggle and it is a very lonely existence after my husband divorced me 8 years ago. As I decide who to disclose, unfortunately quite a few just refuse the diagnosis and quickly say: oh I am sensitive too..! They find traits in themselves to 'proof' it can't be autism. Heartbreaking when this comes from friends and family. You're doomed if you disclose, and also if you don't. Not easy. May I give a feedback? I found the many clips not helpful, rather distracting and would definitely not forward this video because of it. Otherwise great information. Thank you.
I came across somthing about autism and high sensitivity within the past 3 or so weeks, and now I'm wondering if I may not be "just" an HSP. I see a lot of my quirky weirdness in what I've read about high functioning autism in women. I have told 2 people about this possibility and though they reacted in different ways, I got the feeling that they both thought I was wrong to think this way. I intend to share this video with both of them and hopefully it will help them to understand a bit more. THANK YOU for making this info available, as being so new to this possibility myself, it is helping me to understand what I never would have considered a month ago. ❤
Do you know of any low cost diagnoses resources that are available? I'm 46 and I'm starting to question if I may be on the spectrum... I resonate with so many characteristics I've heard people talk about especially in women & girls. Thank you in advance.
I'd love to show this video to my parents. Unfortunately they don't speak English. 😅 Oh well, it still made me laugh and made me feel like there are people out there that would understand me, I just haven't met them yet. Damn, my eyes became moist...😂
I told my dad 10 years ago, I had ADHD + I think I might be autistic and I was trying to figure out and what my dad said is basically. Just do as if you have nothing. I accept my dad as he is, I mask less and less, when he point out my odd behavior like wearing same clothe since the last 10 years, I don't care. I also get blunt. Ask things very directly, Don't come to my house without notifying me in advance. etc. No explanation. I think he probably think I dislike him, I don't. I see him just a few time a year now but at least he doesn't stress me out for no reason.
tearful moment, ha. Family could not give 2 shits, mums the only one around and wants nothing to do with it at all. dealing with this shit while trying to do something that has always been beyond difficult to do for me, organize. my head has gone to mush, so difficult to just think straight anymore, so fuzzy jumbled foggy exhausted, moments of forced though and concentration like this take a big toll at the moment.
I do hate you now, I started to get a bit weepy by the end... Imagine if anyone saw me!? They'd know right then & there that I'm not, in fact, a robot! You're lucky, I may have litigated 😂😊
@neurodivergent dr. Can we do one on meds for autism. I’m now on respiridone and I feel happier than I have in years . I’m on 2 diazapam and two respiridone a day im female. I got sectioned last week and was put on these drugs 4 days ago. I honestly feel better in myself and getting on with most patients and staff. And I’m not getting side effects. Other drugs I got in the past. Gave me bad side effects . But 4 days and no bad effects from these drugs . I’m hoping it continues. I’m genuinely feel I’ve happier than I have in years. Would be interesting to learn more regarding useful drugs. So we don’t get the bad feelings from wrong drugs.
Hey doc, which state do you think has the best facilities and services for an older adult? I may have to go back to Europe but services aren't any better there.
I have three autistic children. They each have their own strengths and weaknesses, but one thing they all seem to have in common is social issues. Even then, the social issues each of them struggle with are very different as well. Odds are likely considering all three of my children are on the spectrum, I probably am, too, but I don't see the point in trying to get a diagnosis. I am diagnosed with ADHD though. One thing that made me wonder if I have it too is the sensory issues my youngest has. She was diagnosed with ADHD first, but when her school noticed that a lot of her "attention issues" were more sensory related, they suggested she get tested for Autism. I was quite confused because I always thought attention issues related to sensory stuff were also a symptom of ADHD because I have sensory related attention issues as well. The school therapist and the doctor performing the testing said that sensory related attention issues are not part of ADHD. My son who also is autistic also has ADHD and sensory issues, but his seem to be more related to light sensitivity and some sounds while my daughter's are a lot more severe but usually related to sound and touch. I have issues related to smells, sounds, and sometimes touch, but not as bad as my daughter. I also get distracted badly by visual things in my environment, which can be kind of funny when she is stimming because she hops, jumps, and runs which drives me crazy if I'm trying to focus on something. I know stimming is important for her though, so I tell her she's making it hard for me to focus on (whatever it is I'm doing) and I ask her to go do it somewhere where I can't see her doing it because I need to get (whatever it is) done. 😂 If I'm not trying to focus on something, then it isn't as big of a deal.
No one told me to search this. I'm just independently curious. Only thing I know is a autism Dr said a Mum pressured her to assess her child as Autistic and did so. She had even less understanding of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy (or medical child abuse) and was sorry her legal team wouldn't allow her to correct her autism misdiagnosis. If tempting for a self-made single Mum, financially and legally encouraged to use their boys that might be another reason boys are diagnosed more than daughters. But no studies I know of have been funded to understand the relationship with other Drs manipulated to give Autism assessments and Munchausen by Proxy.
I was diagnosed with hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome a few years ago, and just a couple of years ago discovered that there is a link between hEDS and autism. After much research, I have self diagnosed with ASD. It explains my entire life, and I am 55 years old now. I believe that my mom was ASD and had EDS and I inherited it from her, and passed it on to my children and grandchildren. I told my older sister and was completely invalidated, as she assumes autism means “being retarded or completely non verbal”. The joke’s on her, because I’m pretty sure she is also on the spectrum and doesn’t know it. The stigma that autism is a blanket term for being somehow nonfunctional or low IQ is really getting old. I haven’t let my sister’s invalidation get to me, I know my experience and I have embraced my neurodiversity.
But everybody does that. Hmm. Everybody washes thaere hands; are you saying OCD doesn't exist too? People need to learn what the word 'spectrum' means.
You did mention that people of color comprise one of the populations that are under diagnosed, but in the next segment your montage of what autism looks like (and your point was that it looks diverse!) is pretty much all white people. You might consider updating that slice of this video to be much more diverse.
I don't think I've ever been as dismayed by a piece of 'celebrity' news as when I discovered Elon Musk is one of our own...can the neurotypicals really not have him? Surely someone else can claim ownership? Why us? Haven't we been through enough?!
Autism, in its pure form, is severe dissociation, hence why some autistics experience the subtle memory retrieval capability known as savantism. The marked increase in diagnoses is due to the watered-down spectrum that was invented by NPOs and the corrupt physicians in their pockets. Is it a coincidence that the supposed spike in diagnoses aligned with the norm of dual-bread winning households and the normalization of single-parent households? Highly doubtful. Poorly socialized children get diagnosed as autistic, and the label sticks with them no matter what they do, because the "science" of it is neurological. The autism spectrum is one of the greatest hoaxes perpetrated upon mankind.
Yes it's the physicians pocketing that coveted one-and-done diagnostic money, and not that it's become more acceptable to get your kid/yourself diagnosed with stuff instead of locking them in the attic for their entire lives.
The poor, overwhelmed algorithm that google’s got scrubbing RUclips has taken the bait! Nice. This silly code tta23***** should have 5 stars? Let’s see if it’s just my melting brain? The robots are working overtime, let’s hit send…see what happens? …screenshot…wait…send. *** if you see three janky stars, that means I’m on some confused database scrubbers. Yay! 🎉
'It's not a learned behavior.' The most important sentence for any neurological disorder.
Bingo! Autism is not a Learned Behavior; Masking the Autism is.
Told two people outside of my family. Broke up with the 1st one. The 2nd said “You don’t have autism. Why would you think that?” I replied with “cause thats what my neurophysiologist said I am. I’ve learned whats acceptable socially and I fake it everyday.” Then moved on with our conversation.
Sorry to hear. Same here.
Sorry to hear that. Same with me. Last time I saw my mother, she said she'd watched videos how autistic people can just switch off their heightened sensory sensitivity, and only switch it on when they need them. Okay. Not helpful when you're so debilitated from autistic burnout and trauma where, in my case, I basically haven't been able to get out of bed for months. I expected to recover faster, too, but it seems the older I get, the harder it is to recover from burnout, and it's never 100% anyway. Anyway - when I'm rested and have somewhat recovered, I can tolerate taxing environments better - though ever since I've heard about unmasking, it's becoming more and more difficult to put on enough of a mask to be acceptable... Oops, I'm rambling, didn't mean to write so much. Anyway - all the best to you. It brings me great joy how autism and ADHD are slowly becoming more recognised for what they are and their implications - at least among self-aware affected people...
@@George-qr1mf
it's okay to 'ramble' or 'go off on tangents' here
this is a safe space, no need to apologise
you can be you
if someone is not able to read it at that moment,
they can not read it and that's all good as well
just wanted to let you know,
this time around i read your comment and related
also 'switching off heightened sensory sensitivity'
sounds like a dangerous degree of masking,
perhaps even some form of dissociation (?)
especially since how i imagine it to be is
(or as it has been for me, as i've come to realize while writing this reply)
to mask your reactions-reflexes,
it doesn't stop one from getting the sensory input,
it just teaches a person that their pain etc. is not to be shown,
is not real, does not matter and that one should just suffer in silence
if it teaches one to hide-not talk about, their pain or experiences,
then the person will keep everything to themselves and tolerate things that might be treatable-curable, say headaches, small wounds, depressive thoughts etc. or could be dealt away with an intermission, say bullying or any kind of other maltreatment
there won't be support, help or advice offered, even if that might be all that's needed to alleviate the negative feelings born from these issues
and lower the frequency of such things occuring
and what makes it even worse, is that some aid may have been readily available all that time
so all this just to say 'do not take yor mother's words to heart,
there is no need for you to mask such things in the first place
and her trying to advocate the opposite, is harmful in the way that
were you not in the throes of a burnout and had started unmasking,
you might've tried to mask this way and caused youself undue harm in the long run (in fact you might have already been masking this way and know exactly what i'm getting at here)
(now, as i have trouble giving myself the same grace as others,
let me just quickly throw in an apology for getting lost in my stream of thoughts here
-my apologies, fellow member of the neurodivergent nation,
for suddenly constructing a decorative mural of text right underneath your comment -relatably, me)
(thank you if you read this far, and no worries if you did not)
(why do i have to hesitate so much about actually posting the reply.. sigh.. okay, here goes -deep breath in- aaand-)
@@George-qr1mf Hi George. I’ve lived with debilitating anxiety, depression, and mood disorders for decades. Diagnosed ASD two years ago. Started the self-education, unmasking, and “coming out” process at that time. The more I learn how my autistic brain functions, and progress with unmasking (AKA I no longer care what others think about my behavior and thinking), my psychiatric disabilities have almost completely resolved. Able to hold down a job (and excel at it) for the first time, and a very challenging and intense one at that (psych nurse).
Trying to make my autistic brain be not autistic was causing my problems. Fix the source, the problem are fixed. I encourage to try this for yourself.
What is a nerouphycolagist ?
For neurotypical people who are unkind or dismissive of us, I feel the need to assign a disorder that appears to have blossomed. The Aversion To Difference Disorder or ATDD.
❤ Great Idea
I classify neurotypicals into level 1, level 2, or level 3 support needs. Level 1 have fairly good awareness and are willing to put in the effort to try to understand and accommodate. Level 3 are the ones who perceive autistic behaviours as rudeness, selfishness, laziness, etc. They need a LOT of education to co-exist with us. Level 2 is somewhere in between.
@@Nami-dq3ox I love it! Sadly most are level 3. Level 4 are the abusive ones.
This is so clever. I'm going to start doing this👍
I have another "A" word for those "rude type" (NT) people... 😒
I just opened up to a friend, and she said "What do you hope to gain from telling me this, a sense of pity? You're just eccentric and have anxiety. We don't have to put a label on it. Autism is non-verbal kids hitting themselves." She didn't give me a chance to explain, I tried to start talking about masking but didn't get far. Didn't have any empathy about why I was opening up about it. Feel so dismissed, and bullied, I don't think she's a good friend for me anymore.
Dang. As an eccentric late-talking kid who hurt themself... I'm going to share some very fancy imaginary cupcakes with you, while your friend gets none. *sends a cat for supportive hug*
@@aw2598 That is so sweet! Thank you so much.
What do I hope to gain? Understanding... Don't feel so bad, its not easy. I went into a conversation with my brother at 37 years old (he is 39) about actually putting a label on this and he was really squirming away from it. I was ready though, I had no less than 5 major things about myself that he couldn't refute that had strong autism ties. In the end he just admitted my family and people near it wanted to treat me like everyone else and not risk triggering something to cause more meltdowns, suchas figuring out exactly what was wrong with me. I had to live most of my life just thinking I could be very moody and it was just some bad traits I needed to get over, not that I had physically been wired differently. Maybe that was or was not the best choice for me, I'm not sure, but I understand why they came to that conclusion after seeing my own actions. It's hard for people to believe this is nothing more than another fad for now, but it's here to stay.
...u have to realise, not all ppl have the gift of empathy...they cannot meet your heart with like intentions.
@@Livefreeordie-182 Good point! 💙
I argue that girls actually present the same, but we are still ignored like with most health conditions. I had all the classic symptoms, but it was brushed off as me being shy and weird. Girls are also punished for acting out or being themselves. Boys are rewarded and allowed to be children.
....not to mention the fact that chronic fatigue is ignored
this
Nuh you are just wired different as women. You have better maskings
@@keylanoslokj1806women mask better because they have to, just to survive
Thanks so much for this. I'm 58 and just recently realized I'm autistic. The guy falling down the mountain was a perfect example of most of my life. I'm sore n angry now. Also tried telling a few people n sharing vids. But they treat me like it's no biggie, expecting me to stay masked, when for the 1st time ever I'm trying to figure out the real me. I can tell you I'm angry at how much people abused my kindness and was treated bad a lot, most of my life. Like I was ignored or like I was talking in a foreign language, never actually HEARD. I just stay by myself now, it's too exhausting.
You're not alone in these feelings. First with my ADHD diagnosis at 25, and now realizing at 41 that I'm likely autistic-well, I understand what a seismic inner event this kind of realization is, and how neurotypicals tend to brush it off, not realizing how vulnerable you've made yourself by disclosing it. I also spend as much time by myself as possible, but we all get lonely. My best advice is to try to find an online community with a lot of neurodivergent members. Neurodivergent strangers online have been kinder and more validating to me than the people I actually know in real life have ever been. Solidarity! 🩶
@@nailati Thanks for replying, I have lots of online friends, but I miss RL community.. Hope to find that again, but most likely ND'S because I think we're a different species, and honest. I'm tired of NT's factory sameness, disappointments, etc, kinda boring to me.
@sherrym5556 i just turned 50. Just realizing im autistic. Anger is certainly one if the feelings ive had while unfolding my lifes mess.
51 now, and self-diagnosed during the pandemic. The downtime from life (not working for the first time since I was 16) gave me time to answer the question that has been plaguing me for 35 years - What is wrong with me?
Still coming to terms, but this video and the comments here are a step in the right direction. @sherrym5556 I can tell you from experience that I have a few (very few) close RL friends, and you are correct - they are all ND. They just get me, and I get them.
Also I agree with the different species comment - personally I believe that autism is our next evolutionary step....
A really good piece of advice a psychologist gave someone I know at the time they were told they were autistic was about social interaction. The psychologist gave the person a list of books and said that the books explained how to navigate among neurotypicals, what the 'normal' for neurotypicals was in reactions, behaviour, etc. He told the person that they always have options: they can read the books and learn to 'blend in' or they can read the books and pick and choose situations where they want to blend in or they can just be themselves and behave 'normally' for them. He told the person that it was entirely up to them and that as an autistic person they had many advantages including these options.
What a powerful video. The autistic community has saved my life. Thank u
My twins are currently doing testing and it has had me look twice at myself. Maybe I didn't recognize their most likely autism because I'm autistic too and their behaviors were my "normal."
Finally, a "send this to someone who..." video that I actually want to send to someone!
As always, extremely reassuring and validating from someone who just 'gets it'.
Amen to that.
I feel like I'm watching a brother from another mother.
I've found that a lot of neuro typical people do not like to learn new things. Seems like they only have energy for survival and not much beyond that point. About the only thing that can seemingly force/inspire them to learn something new is if it is school or work. The only people I've seen to educate themselves more have been other autistic people and people who are survivors of trauma who push themselves to get better for themselves and to spite the cruel people who tried to break them.
I check both categories.
Perfectly put. I was diagnosed at 48, now in my fifties and I truly wish people seen this, and understand it. Ty
I have a similar experience: self diagnosed shortly before turning 48, and now at 49.5, I wish this information was available decades ago!
@@rebeccamay6420 We are a LOT of adults, especially women, in this same situation!
Something that I did with my dad was, when I found the resources I was sharing with him, we actually sat down and watched the videos together. It started with How To ADHD, and moved on to Autism From The Inside. We would discuss what was being presented as the videos went on and how it relates to me and my life. As a result, our relationship improved quite a lot, since he has a better understanding. Is it a perfect understanding? No. Will it ever be? No. Is it enough? Yes, and that's the important bit.
Love the way you captioned the guy falling down the mountain onto jagged boulders as "sensory sensitivities". Yep. That's exactly what it's like! 😂
I was talking to a friend I'd known a long time a couple of years back. When I mentioned being autistic, she changed mid sentence and started talking to me as though my mental age had dropped to a child's level, really patronising.
That really stung, and I have never spoken with her/her family since; in fact I avoid them as I have no idea how to react now. They seemingly avoid me too. 😢
I just shut the door to their "opportunity" because they blew it. What's the alternative? I communicated that my love for them is constant but my willingness to be dismissed and abused is done. My heart is broken but the breaking has been slowly happening over the past 3 years. I don't want to cry any more. I want to live. I want to develop my gifts and be recognized for them. I can't do it while remaining in relationships so abusive. I dropped the mask...female masking for 20 years in a marriage. I am a stranger to them now and they aren't interested in the new me. But there's no going back...the mask doesn't fit now.
I’m really glad you use movie references when explaining autism. It’s extremely effective.
I cannot emphasize enough to take it seriously when someone makes a point of showing this video to you. Especially if there is a sense of hope in them as they do.
Videos by this channel, and others such as autisamatic, autism from the inside, and mom on the spectrum have put into words things I've not been able to express, things that are absolutely critical to understand if someone wants to help. I've struggled my entire life, and no amount of therapy or medication has been able to address the core issue - I function differently. And I cannot tell you how draining it is to need help, but you can't be helped because those trying to help you are trying to fix the wrong thing. This can often make everything worse.
I would love a version of this video without all the edited clips in it. The information in this video is really good, but I would lose most people that I would show this to because they wouldn't get it.
My brother was diagnosed with adhd and my dad died when we were young. So my brother had the spotlight with the backdrop of my father's death, so I slipped through the cracks. I began what I now know is "masking" around the 3rd grade.
About 5 years ago, I attempted suicide by jumping out a vehicle in the highway, traveling 55+ mph. I knew I was different. Not better than, just different and found myself extremely popular while masking but suffering extremely with the exhaustion.
Well anyways, my mom is vehemently against me being autistic. That doesn't bother me as much as the time blindness does but it's an extremely lonely feeling.
"Nobody knows how you feel" got me. Like, yeah. Nobody knows. Myself included XD
Very grateful for this video,I'm still learning but it's giving me peace of mind. My father,oldest brother didn't get diagnosed until till later in life and recently found out my daughter was on the spectrum. I was 2 in half premature baby in 70s. Diagnosed with severe ADHD. I haven't been able to get help or screening yet. The help available to me isn't to much or that much they can do because I have no insurance but Medicaid and SSI. Long story short I'm still trying to put my life together. I've been very isolated and no luck w social media.
This probably explains my relationships and employment history. Explains my family too. They are ALL autistic or undiagnosed autistic. My few friends are also autistic. I rarely make it at any job more than 6 months before I have a meltdown or I slowly fall apart and I get myself canned. I just tell employers now that I have a business where I just fill in for other managers on a temporary basis while I retain the ability to also pursue my own projects. And if they like me, we can talk about something longer term... Or it's more if I like them ha. I'm pretty senior level in management at this point. Had an interview the other day but they just had an open cube farm. While they seem like a great outfit and I will get paid well, I cannot be in a cube farm. There is no way.
Thank you for all your videos. They have answered a lot of my questions and some of my worries. I feel a little better about self diagnosing but still feel as though I am a poser. I'm trying to be kind to myself and gift myself with time. However it has been difficult when I already feel like I don't deserve to describe myself as autistic, accompanied with feeling like no one in my family or my partner and his family are supportive or even willing to try and understand when I bring the topic up. Watching this particular video had really touched home with me and I actually cried for a bit with mixed emotions. I'll be sending this video to the previously mentioned in hopes that they will become a little more open minded about everything and hopefully we can all become closer and strengthen our relationships.
I have one request if you're still making videos.... Can you please make one about autistic meltdowns? There isn't a whole lot out there on the topic. For example; do adults have these angry outbursts where it can be difficult to control what you say to people? Followed by perhaps wanting to throw things? Do they cry uncontrollably once the anger wave has subsided and feel the need to either self soothe or needing to be consoled or soothed by someone close with kind words or hugs? (That's the only time I want a hug and will accept one without cringing) Do they feel any physical symptoms before they have a meltdown; for example I get what feels like butterflies in my stomach and a ball of pure energy that's going to explode, and I will sometimes get shaky and my heart rate speeds up and I feel like I'm about to cry. Do they fall asleep afterwards? After I have one of these episodes I always fall asleep and it's usually while I'm still crying and the crying is at that point in waves. My mind will start to relax and my crying is almost stopped and then my mind will replay either the thing that set me off or it replays my embarrassing shameful display of the whole anger crying thing and I will start crying really hard all over again and will do this until I've fallen asleep. I never remember falling asleep. I never dream. I always sleep about 15 to 40 mins long. When I wake up I feel mostly better but can't help but still feel embarrassed so I avoid everyone for a few days until someone says something to me that's friendly. This lets me know they have let my horrible behavior go and I start to become more relaxed again. Lastly, if anyone else has had any experience like this or close to it, do they see the whole thing from the inside looking out and in their mind protesting and telling themselves to stop it, trying to stop it all to no avail and finding out later about things they might have said or done with no memory of it? This happens to me every now and then. It seems to happen more when I am tired or stressed but they're really bad when I'm tired or stressed and feel like I'm not being heard when I try to warn anyone I'm not handling things well and they aren't helping to calm the environment or respect my boundaries and personal space.
I apologize for the line of questions and for kinda just dumping this all right here... It's been heavy on my mind and this felt like a safe space to seek the answers I'm looking for. Thank you again for your hard work on the videos and your shared knowledge and experience.
-Dawn
You deserve more viewers. This video really made me tearful at the end. Thank you for saying the words for us that many of us can't... I'm so grateful. I will be sending this to my loved ones.
P.S. Anyone who uses Hot Rod clips to get their point across is alright in my book. That is hands-down my MOST quoted movie of all time (I've started to realise how the echolalia presents in various ways), and my favourite.
Yep my sister...whom I didnt tell..... found out about my diagnosis and a year after my dagnosis of asd came forward saying she knew about it when i was going though it and didnt believe my diagnosis she works with autistic kids and has or 15 years and that she knows me shared a room with me as a kid etc and said I am just an over thinker and I should forget the diagnosis and get on wth it and the clincal psych is just somone with a piece of paper
So I have been totally invalidated .now suffer with imposter syndrome I didnt tey to defend my diagnosis or educate her because she thinks she knows all
She is my older sister
Oh the damage and she jst goes on her merry way
Ouch.
I wish to suggest trying clinical eft techniques for this as it works really well with these types of issues and you can learn if for free in different ways. My channel has free resources on it as well and I did create a free course to use it in the heated moments and how to take advantage and it will work for this as well. I am just a Reiki teacher and EFT coach and work with sound and ASMR/ART so I don't diagnose nor do therapy etc. but I personally have used this and I can attest it's amazing and very independent. It's free anyway so nothing to loser. Plus, anything you sign up for you can also unsubscribe so no future emails etc. Some people are not ready for the change and they are also there mirroring how we feel inside but there are ways to unblock this in a very organic manner that works specifically for each individual's needs. This is why I love eft and sound/art together, so personally customized and always right for the person. Sending you good vibes that you can find your way. EFT universe is another great org that shows the science and offers free info and a mini manual, for those who prefer reading.
😢❤❤❤
I get it.
Brother thank you for making this important and eye-opening video. I know this will help others. Should our paths ever cross, I owe you a bear hug and a coffee.
You've given me a way to help both my mother and my beloved wife finally be able to perceive and accept that I am autistic.
I didn't choose it; it chose me. The only thing that scares me is I believe my wife also is somewhere on this wide spectrum; I'm afraid on the one hand that she will see your your video and freak out; yet on the other hand, I know that I must and will show both my wife and my mom this video.
It's weird how we are all so unique in our autistic traits, yet it seems to me that when we become aware of our state of affairs, we all seem to get each other somehow.
At 59 years old, I've known for a month now. Finally all the unanswered questions became answered at once; and on a way It's freeing. I finally understand why all the anguish, and the how and why of me putting people off consistently since my youth, but I was blind to it.
But I have peace about it now. It isn't what I would have chosen for myself, but since being free of it will never be an option for me in this life, at least the world finally makes sense to this auristic person.
And to my own surprise, I'm starting to recognize which of my character traits are influenced by autism (which aren't?!), and how they have actually helped me be stronger and better in some ways than I would otherwise have been. Yet it seems that overall, such benefits have been offset by ways that being autistic has cost me financially and socially. But I think I've missed out on a lot of experiences that only neurotypicals can have. Anyway, so life goes on I suppose.
The first person I mentioned it to was as former coworker. Her young son was diagnosed. I was trying to open up a conversation with her on Facebook after she made a post. She was talking about ABA, and how much she just wanted her son to make eye contact with her and say I love you. The post I had made a comment on was about some issues she was having with him. Honestly she just wasn’t interpreting his behavior right and was pushing him into these meltdowns. The first thing she said was “What’s your experience with autism?” Or something like that it was longer, but the rest was fluff. I told her that I was autistic and my brother is formally diagnosed too. She asked about my diagnosis. At the time it was a self-diagnosis, and I said as such. Her response “Well you don’t LOOK autistic.” What does look have anything to do with it? Anyone, I mentioned that I struggled with certain things that her son does and have learned how to modify my behavior. I spent most of my life masking. I wasn’t quite normal, but I wasn’t the obviously adhd/autistic girl either (I was born in 85, and we all know how few girls got diagnosed them.) about a year later, I had noticed I hadn’t seen a post from her in a long time. Discovered she wasn’t in my friend list anymore. I hope she has learned more about autism… I felt so bad for her son. She just wasn’t getting him.
The next person, well he brought it up with me. my husband and I were in the car. The car is a safe place for certain conversations as neither of us are obligated to look at eachother. He mentioned I might be autistic. And I just looked at him and said “I know, I’ve been researching it for 5 years now and have been in an autistic-led pfacebook community and I finally feel like I found MY people.” I have my diagnosis now.. officially I was being referred for diagnostics for ADHD confirmation when a new Dr didn’t like my stimulant usage. I wrote it in my history report that it was a “concern” of mine because of the research I’ve done and my family history.
The only people I’ve told is my immediate family and my in-laws on my husbands moms side (his parents got divorced when he was a kid.) My MIL was already VERY accommodating with me whenever we visit, but now she understands it a helluva lot more. For me, it brought up the memory of the first time I met her. We had a dinner at a restaurant on a pier in Rhode Island, I kept looking out into the water as we were right by the window. She told him she didn’t know what he saw in me-she thought I was a bit slow, distractable, flighty, and uninteresting. That’s usually how it goes when I don’t know someone-my brain gets jammed up trying to talk, I trip over my words, and I don’t know when to interject into the conversation. I’ve known her for over 10 years now and we are much better. I doubt she remembers that dinner, but it hurts a little bit thinking back on it. Not just her.. just all the times I was being excluded and disliked because I was autistic.
Thank you. I do hope I can share this because I have had so much invalidation from loved ones and medical community. I’m 58 and have recently been diagnosed autistic and adhd. So much unraveling and putting back together again in the face off denial.
I am tired however I do have compassion for myself and loved ones. I will be patient and try not to shut down on them. This is generational awareness and healing and I am hopeful with time for me and my families future 🙏🏴
Thanks for the video!
Honestly, I want to send this to my mom, but the clips edited in are too much for me.
Wonderful message though! Thanks for making content to help others ☺️
Exactly. The intention of the video is good, but with the clips it is just not suitabe for many people. It should radiate "normality" helping acceptance, than a lot of weird quotes from movies.
Thank you ❤
I'll be sending this to the people I love 💞
The more I interact with critters, especially Cats and, surprisingly, Spiders, the more I suspect that Austism is "Natural" and it's Allistic folks that're the weird ones.
Just discover this video. And I really like the information you giving. I am a adult and have been diagnosed with autism now 2 years ago. And I really struggling with telling people about it. I think that if I going to tell people that I recommend this video to watch. Because you explain it so good in my opinion.
my response to someone telling me they're autistic was 'oh few, that's a relief, me to, guess that means we don't need to figure that chunk of communication out, caring on'.
and ya know, its weird, most autistic people who know they are autistic have an easy time identifying other autistic people, but I'm not so great at it, I only know one person who isn't autistic, so telling if the person is allistic or just similar to my dad (the only allistic I know) is tricky, but most of the people I have made friends with for a short while were either autistic or we just didn't talk long enough to get around to it.
but I'm happy to say you passed the 'oh god this person has know clue what they're talking about' when it comes to autism test, yay. tho you also said you were autistic, so the score for allistic people passing is still zero, but hey, I've seen way to many cases of autistic people who don't except that they are autistic saying the most stupid stuff, so still a plus.
Again, love the info and style and humor, and tif you lowered the background music, it would be much better. Btw, I'm neurotypical and can't filter it out. :)
Before I knew I was, a lady said, "You REALLY remind me of my autistic son."
Great info and love the way you arrange the music etc. I work with sound and eft and reiki and it would be helpful to talk to someone like to to customize some techniques for the autistic audience so they can take advantage of useful free stuff I personally think everyone should know for their own good. The ignorance is real but the only way to change is to share. I myself took until last year to fully figure out I was high masking and did suffer imposter syndrome because of several reasons and I think both my mom and pop families were afflicted. The thing is when one has PTSD or CPTSD becomes harder to distinguish between them and the autism and so I used all this stuff purely for the CPTSD and realized the austic traits also benefinited. I am talkinb about those traits that can become a bother at times while having to cope with over react ions to food or environments, migraines.......... So, I think it would be nice to do research and offer help to the neurodivergent community specifically as these modalities are amazing and anyone can learn them. We need stuff available to everyone not just to doctors as many of us are not doctors and will never be or don't even use pharma in any way~ Much love, great seeing this type of work being done.
I was distracted by that beautiful bass on the wall, and even tried to figure out what brand / type it is (google images says it's a Dean Edge in trans amber).. which might tell something about my personality 😆
Super helpful - loved this 🥰
I’m so Happy I found your videos I see myself in them finally someone who understands 🥰
👋 Hi, high-masking Autist here. Thank you for making this video. I'd also like to point out studies based on biological sex assigned at birth are very imbalanced, typically biasing towards young AMAB children. Some of us are transgender (including folx who identify with a nonbinary gender or even no gender at all), and later in life, this anecdotally tends to lead to more stigma/bias resulting in never getting diagnosed.
For more substantial info, I encourage you to look up some of the recent meta analyses published that indicate a correlation between those with gender variation and with autism.
That being said, I had my diagnosis at 7, but it's done barely anything for me since resources are inaccessible due to me being high masking
My friend recently suggested that I may be autistic. I couldn't sleep for DAYS. I took online tests, says I am positive for autism, I took another online test in my native language and it says I am not autistic. Talked to my friends, they make fun of me now. Talked to my mother (she studied child psychology), she said I want attentions and DRUGS (I am not aware of any way to cure autism, might just be not educated enough). Talked to my father (he is comparing me to Sheldon from Big Bang Theory since I was 10 years old to make me laugh) and he prohibited me from talking about it. Talked to my local child psychology expert, she said I can wait until 18 and do the tests without anyone knowing (I am currently 15). She saved me, I can finally sleep again.
As a 65 year old woman recently diagnosed with autism and ADD, my life has always been a struggle and it is a very lonely existence after my husband divorced me 8 years ago. As I decide who to disclose, unfortunately quite a few just refuse the diagnosis and quickly say: oh I am sensitive too..! They find traits in themselves to 'proof' it can't be autism. Heartbreaking when this comes from friends and family. You're doomed if you disclose, and also if you don't. Not easy. May I give a feedback? I found the many clips not helpful, rather distracting and would definitely not forward this video because of it. Otherwise great information. Thank you.
amazing advice. if they only took a moment to listen to us pointing a finger
Thank you so much for sharing 💜
I came across somthing about autism and high sensitivity within the past 3 or so weeks, and now I'm wondering if I may not be "just" an HSP. I see a lot of my quirky weirdness in what I've read about high functioning autism in women. I have told 2 people about this possibility and though they reacted in different ways, I got the feeling that they both thought I was wrong to think this way. I intend to share this video with both of them and hopefully it will help them to understand a bit more. THANK YOU for making this info available, as being so new to this possibility myself, it is helping me to understand what I never would have considered a month ago. ❤
Do you know of any low cost diagnoses resources that are available? I'm 46 and I'm starting to question if I may be on the spectrum... I resonate with so many characteristics I've heard people talk about especially in women & girls. Thank you in advance.
I was diagnosed last year at age 57. Still trying to recover from the autistic burnout I've been in for the last two years.
I'd love to show this video to my parents. Unfortunately they don't speak English. 😅
Oh well, it still made me laugh and made me feel like there are people out there that would understand me, I just haven't met them yet. Damn, my eyes became moist...😂
I told my dad 10 years ago, I had ADHD + I think I might be autistic and I was trying to figure out and what my dad said is basically. Just do as if you have nothing. I accept my dad as he is, I mask less and less, when he point out my odd behavior like wearing same clothe since the last 10 years, I don't care. I also get blunt. Ask things very directly, Don't come to my house without notifying me in advance. etc. No explanation. I think he probably think I dislike him, I don't. I see him just a few time a year now but at least he doesn't stress me out for no reason.
like the last message in the video, the window of opportunity is now gone forever. already 10 years now.
Sweet bass hanging on the wall! Can you do a Bootsy Collins style tutorial for your next post please?
I feel like I should just show people this video and be like "any questions"?
Adhd and Autism at the same time for me they like fighting over each other
tearful moment, ha. Family could not give 2 shits, mums the only one around and wants nothing to do with it at all. dealing with this shit while trying to do something that has always been beyond difficult to do for me, organize. my head has gone to mush, so difficult to just think straight anymore, so fuzzy jumbled foggy exhausted, moments of forced though and concentration like this take a big toll at the moment.
But what if I, being autistic, is really normal, and everyone else is dysfunctional?
My eyes are drawn to that bass on your wall. Do you play bass?
I do hate you now, I started to get a bit weepy by the end... Imagine if anyone saw me!? They'd know right then & there that I'm not, in fact, a robot! You're lucky, I may have litigated 😂😊
Totally believe in the idea of male sided versus female sided Aspergers, I believe it is unarguable. And either gender can have either of those.
@neurodivergent dr. Can we do one on meds for autism. I’m now on respiridone and I feel happier than I have in years . I’m on 2 diazapam and two respiridone a day im female. I got sectioned last week and was put on these drugs 4 days ago. I honestly feel better in myself and getting on with most patients and staff. And I’m not getting side effects. Other drugs I got in the past. Gave me bad side effects . But 4 days and no bad effects from these drugs . I’m hoping it continues. I’m genuinely feel I’ve happier than I have in years. Would be interesting to learn more regarding useful drugs. So we don’t get the bad feelings from wrong drugs.
Hey doc, which state do you think has the best facilities and services for an older adult?
I may have to go back to Europe but services aren't any better there.
Thank you!
Autism has genius traits
What if the behavioral traits only happened after watching a bunch of youtube videos about autism during lockdowns?
I have three autistic children. They each have their own strengths and weaknesses, but one thing they all seem to have in common is social issues. Even then, the social issues each of them struggle with are very different as well.
Odds are likely considering all three of my children are on the spectrum, I probably am, too, but I don't see the point in trying to get a diagnosis. I am diagnosed with ADHD though. One thing that made me wonder if I have it too is the sensory issues my youngest has. She was diagnosed with ADHD first, but when her school noticed that a lot of her "attention issues" were more sensory related, they suggested she get tested for Autism. I was quite confused because I always thought attention issues related to sensory stuff were also a symptom of ADHD because I have sensory related attention issues as well. The school therapist and the doctor performing the testing said that sensory related attention issues are not part of ADHD. My son who also is autistic also has ADHD and sensory issues, but his seem to be more related to light sensitivity and some sounds while my daughter's are a lot more severe but usually related to sound and touch. I have issues related to smells, sounds, and sometimes touch, but not as bad as my daughter.
I also get distracted badly by visual things in my environment, which can be kind of funny when she is stimming because she hops, jumps, and runs which drives me crazy if I'm trying to focus on something. I know stimming is important for her though, so I tell her she's making it hard for me to focus on (whatever it is I'm doing) and I ask her to go do it somewhere where I can't see her doing it because I need to get (whatever it is) done. 😂 If I'm not trying to focus on something, then it isn't as big of a deal.
You made me laugh. Thank you 🎉
I learned to enjoy my autism.
Thank you
thank you more videos more more more
No one told me to search this. I'm just independently curious. Only thing I know is a autism Dr said a Mum pressured her to assess her child as Autistic and did so. She had even less understanding of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy (or medical child abuse) and was sorry her legal team wouldn't allow her to correct her autism misdiagnosis. If tempting for a self-made single Mum, financially and legally encouraged to use their boys that might be another reason boys are diagnosed more than daughters. But no studies I know of have been funded to understand the relationship with other Drs manipulated to give Autism assessments and Munchausen by Proxy.
Is that a Spector bass?
Abed! I love Abed. ❤️
um, I wish there was more to this video. It seems like it's the barest beginning.
I was diagnosed with hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome a few years ago, and just a couple of years ago discovered that there is a link between hEDS and autism. After much research, I have self diagnosed with ASD. It explains my entire life, and I am 55 years old now. I believe that my mom was ASD and had EDS and I inherited it from her, and passed it on to my children and grandchildren. I told my older sister and was completely invalidated, as she assumes autism means “being retarded or completely non verbal”. The joke’s on her, because I’m pretty sure she is also on the spectrum and doesn’t know it. The stigma that autism is a blanket term for being somehow nonfunctional or low IQ is really getting old. I haven’t let my sister’s invalidation get to me, I know my experience and I have embraced my neurodiversity.
Can someone tell me why the autism spectrum is heavily overlapping with LBTG.... and V-tubers?
I've come to think that individuals alone, don't have autism. families have autism. mine came from my grandmother's side, me thinks.
But everybody does that.
Hmm. Everybody washes thaere hands; are you saying OCD doesn't exist too?
People need to learn what the word 'spectrum' means.
So what if someone says that autism can be faked?
You did mention that people of color comprise one of the populations that are under diagnosed, but in the next segment your montage of what autism looks like (and your point was that it looks diverse!) is pretty much all white people. You might consider updating that slice of this video to be much more diverse.
@4:57
Soo... what actually is autism then?
😎🤘
Music 😖
tta23sm*****
I don't think I've ever been as dismayed by a piece of 'celebrity' news as when I discovered Elon Musk is one of our own...can the neurotypicals really not have him? Surely someone else can claim ownership? Why us? Haven't we been through enough?!
Autism, in its pure form, is severe dissociation, hence why some autistics experience the subtle memory retrieval capability known as savantism. The marked increase in diagnoses is due to the watered-down spectrum that was invented by NPOs and the corrupt physicians in their pockets. Is it a coincidence that the supposed spike in diagnoses aligned with the norm of dual-bread winning households and the normalization of single-parent households? Highly doubtful. Poorly socialized children get diagnosed as autistic, and the label sticks with them no matter what they do, because the "science" of it is neurological. The autism spectrum is one of the greatest hoaxes perpetrated upon mankind.
Yes it's the physicians pocketing that coveted one-and-done diagnostic money, and not that it's become more acceptable to get your kid/yourself diagnosed with stuff instead of locking them in the attic for their entire lives.
Do not promote Elon please.
Did he do something wrong? I know almost nothing about the guy.
The poor, overwhelmed algorithm that google’s got scrubbing RUclips has taken the bait! Nice.
This silly code tta23***** should have 5 stars?
Let’s see if it’s just my melting brain?
The robots are working overtime, let’s hit send…see what happens?
…screenshot…wait…send.
*** if you see three janky stars, that means I’m on some confused database scrubbers. Yay! 🎉
What
Chill out!
thank you!