The Story of Benjamin Fry: From Breakdown to Recovery

I have been on a long road to recovery from childhood trauma. This culminated in a nervous breakdown at the age of 40, after which I sought help.
I remember my 11-year-old daughter saying to me towards the end of the breakdown that I was just a ghost who lived in the same building as her. My wife was beginning to give up, too.
Many times my fear, dread, pain, guilt, depression, anxiety, grief and terror had been so visceral, so overwhelming, that I had to live one minute at a time, ten seconds at a time, sometimes one second at a time. If I could survive that, I might recover.
There were dozens of times when if someone had put a loaded gun in my hand I would have immediately blown my brains out.
My life was saved in treatment in Arizona. A psychotherapist friend had been bugging me for some months to go to a psychiatric hospital in America, where, she promised, they would pull me through the trauma. I had reached the end and had nothing left to lose, except my life.

[@europapvpva793]

Thank you, both. Very helpful. A great listener makes for a much more open and informative speaker.

[@keorbats9429]

Hi Benjamin, Your analyses are incredibly insightful; I especially appreciate the language you choose to describe your emotions and feelings. I’m glad you received the help you needed. We need you more than ever these days!

[@suneelrana100]

Lookin’ well! Glad to see you doing so well

[@speedypete4987]

Thank you for posting this. I found it incredibly helpful. So many things resonated with me. You are extremely eloquent and courageous to talk about your story in the way that you did. Everything you said made perfect sense. I am also reading the book "How we Break by Deary which I also find helpful in understanding how we break down under stress.

[@BenjaminFry]

You are so welcome!

[@user-ds7qc8sl2m]

This has been so helpful to me. Thank you for being so honest and open

[@susanaduarteraposo]

hello Benjamin! It is always a pleasure to hearing from you! You help me so much each day, more than you’ll ever know! I’m doing your tests at the end of the book and I’m faced with real problems in every day life! Guess what???? I’m building a tiny boundary and a tiny containment!!!! Thanks TO YOU :-) and my life suddenly looks a bit better when relating to others. I ow it to you

[@a..r.9341]

So good, you found the right therapy.

[@dsteinerwilson]

thank you for sharing your experience

[@Goody_Deids]

Thank you. ☺️

[@cocopersiflage4705]

Oh, wow. Best of luck to you!

[@persevere6326]

Excellent

[@SameShirtDifferentDay]

I wonder if he had akathisia, or some kind of withdrawal symptoms. Maybe ketamine would've helped, or an acid trip. I'm glad he got the help he needed in Arizona.

[@BenjaminFry]

Thanks for your kind wishes. I had PTSD from early childhood, so it was complicated!