FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/ Self-Love the Book: www.selflovethebook.com The "What Would Love Do?" Podcast www.jonathonaslay.com/category/podcast/ Recommended Books jonathonaslay.com/book-recommendations Follow Me On Instagram instagram.com/jonathonaslay/ Join this channel to get access to perks: ruclips.net/channel/UCDOXs_34FF93o66Z-S0py1gjoin Naked Divorce/Naked Recovery nakeddivorce.com/?ref=jonathonaslay Get a FREE copy of my dating vows here: www.jonathonaslay.com/datingvows
Uld you do a vdo on how addiction to alcohol and drugs interfears...you can't be present...I'm sober now and conscious now..I couldn't do it while drinking I was drinking over the chaos with a covert ADHD narcissist who wouldn't get help..I got help and I left him 2 months ago
Lust...I just had to stop texting a new person because all he wanted to discuss was when we would first make love. He wanted me to pin down 3rd date, 2nd date. Uggg. Although he seemed like a Christian man, so much pressure so I came back this morning with my values about waiting until marriage, even though I know most men won't have the same values. I realized overnight I need my faith and God more than pleasing any man. He came back with " Don't you want to take care of your man?". I'm so glad I said how I felt and not allow someone to sway my values especially since he seems so focused on sex. I had only started talking to him and we hadn't even met!!! Good Lord. I was saved by my faith to make sure I spoke up and honored God the way I need to!! 🙏I think if he needs a woman that wants to lay down with him over my values then, hit the road Jack! God is much more to me than any person on earth.
Right on the money Jonathon. My partner and I have all that you mentioned. Open up your hearts people and listen to this man….you won’t go wrong. Life is too short to be miserable. Just be yourself and good things come your way.
I could never imagine this level of contentment until I met my late beloved husband, and we only had eight years before he got seriously ill, but it amazed me when I realized that in all that time, I never once fantasized about another man, whether real or imagined. I only fantasized about him and the next time we'd be alone. I'd heard of this level of happiness, but wow. Now I know it's possible, with steady effort and a common desire. There's no point in settling for less.
I'm remembering that my ex husband said 'I'm not going anywhere' to me when we were maybe 3 months into dating and getting serious ie moved in together a month or two later. When he said that, I really felt it. I'd never heard those words before and could feel his committment.
So lovely for you. Yes, there are men like this who keep their words, are of good character and are smart enough to know there is far more than rolling around in the sack to a real life. ☘️
Yesssss, I was going to say laugh together. Be quirky, be yourself ! Life is serious enough as it us. But to find an individual who makes me laugh, I adore it.
I agree with you 100% about having a sense of humor. I can only be with a man who has a sense of humor! In fact, that’s one trait that I didn’t like in my brother’s first wife - NOT having one at all! I actually don’t trust people who don’t have a sense of humor.
I know what you mean! People who don't have a sense of humor, I just don't know how to relate with them! I'm on the witty side, so if people don't get any of my funny comments or jokes, they don't get me as a person . I couldn't be in a relationship with them.
Yes - laughing together - even with just an unspoken form of communication - is so important. What you were describing and just bad behavior we might call 'toxic masculinity' - not male but the masculine energy that is based in greed, power and fear and feels the need to beat down instead of build up.
A person who is unsure about their relationship is someone who is missing something. I was there once, when I found what was missing I ended my marriage and it was the best decision I ever made.
My guess is there's a veriety of different kinds of relationships out thier. I always go back to , if you can't put the truth into it your not going to have a substance relationship ..In the beginning and with no ecknowledgment we have just the exaggeration of what need ..It happens while in the grocery store we buy a fruit and thought we needed and was going to enjoy ..yet week might go by and you still hadn't had it ..But that's all I have to say ..Thanks ..food for thought .
*Recognizing the qualities that capture men's attention is vital. Let's use this wisdom to embrace our unique strengths and create genuine connections.*
Lust & limerence is very common so you are right Jon! That’s what we did when young and we keep doing it as we don’t learn a better way unless something intercedes into our education. Thank God for YOU! Huge help!
My honey and I have a thing where we talk about something and then bring it back to us. On our first date I mentioned the sunset and Ed said "very pretty and so is the sunset" 🥹 melted my heart ✨💖✨ so we've kept that going with other things 😊
I think more people than you’d think, don’t actually want the whole package. Having a partner in life, is a true gift. I think a lot of people just want the label, without the work. It wasn’t until I started healing, that I started wanting different things. You’re not looking for someone to fill up space in your heart because you’re lonely; you want someone just as they are.. a beautiful addition to an already full life. Love your video! New sub ☺️ (also single 👋🏼)
Lust and limerence is so common in relationships. i know so many guys who say this is the basis for their relationship and only date hot, thin women - these men are unconscious and can't connect emotionally. It is absolutely important to be attracted to your partner, but looks fade, and really look at their behavior patterns, how they treat others, how they deal when things don't go their way (travel delays, roadrage, etc) , finances - and most importantly how they were raised (relationship with their parents). Laughter is essential for healthy relationship, but joking around and sarcasm is NOT COOL. I've read that sarcasm is TRAUMA in disguise and can be hurtful to another human being unintentionally (unconscious behavior). Whenever someone says something sarcastic or even somewhat condescending, you should say back to this person, are you trying to be helpful or hurtful? Call people out on stuff.
Sense of humor: Mel Brooks. Larry David. Jerry Seinfeld. Adam Sandler. Eddie Murphy. Jonathan Winters. Robin Williams....and many women comedians...and more...
Love bombing is what narcisists do to capture power over someone falling in love by it, so that they can extract the physical pleasures without the emotional care/content.
Thank you Jonathan! The basics are so important and yet we sure forget them. I realized that what I was feeling (connecting with a wonderful man) was fear. I had to dig deep to understand, and your talk helped the process. After a 30 year marriage, and losing my late husband, and then being with my S.O. for 6 years and losing him created a fear of losing someone I loved again. Love and life is not for the faint of heart! Learning to be vulnerable again means learning to trust and open once again. Thank you! I heard you and learned! God bless, Diane. PS.. I love to laugh, so I'm onboard with just being human and enjoying the ride...Tears and all!
WOW! This is so awesome and 100% pure common sense!!! I'm obviously not looking in the right place because I don't know men like this who want a marriage, but you're giving me some hope Jonathon. The super caring guys ive had in my life have "friend zoned" me or vice versa.
Love is not equal commitment! People can fall in love, but that doesn´t mean they know how to be a good partner or what a healthy commitment/relationship is.
Whst is deep love? 1. Can you trust this person? Do you have the other person's best interest at heart? This is trust. 2. You have to be present in this relationship. You're over 3. We are important. The "We" is a separate entity. You have know how to cocreate this "We". I have got your back. I will be there for you when you need support. If you're going through chemotherapy, is this person going to wipe the vomit from your face? I only want to be physical with you. You light my fire
The people in my country are just not equipped to communicate to get close to another. There is so many wounds unhealed. I saw my self acting out badly the other night and then I fell into a type of depression because of the unpleasant feelings coming up. But those feelings have to be integrated no matter how much I wish I didn’t have them. I do try to be agreeable because it makes things 😢work. Humour is important. Yes you have to be able laugh at yourself and your shortcomings because they are there. And there are plenty of them. 😂❤❤❤
Hi Margaret, I hope you're doing well! This is global regarding communication and unhealed wounds. It's important to laugh at the adversities of life.😂 Life is managed, not cured. Cheers!
Someone who has to be on a medical related diet is not being unreasonable or difficult by being clear, as long as it is communicated in a pleasant way.
1. You want to be a partner with someone. It can't be one wants to be a partner and the other doesn't. You have to choose someone that wants partnership. 2. Have an agreeable personality. Don't be disagreeable. Don't be controlling, criticizing -this isn't being masculine/a masculine trait. It's just bad behavior. BE EASY-GOING. Behavior can change. Personality cannot. 3.Shared sense of humor and at least have a sense of humor. You have to have humor for the chaos of life. You don't have to entertain each other, but learning to laugh with one another. At the end of the day you want to laugh and have fun with one another.
Not sure how many types of humor there are but it's important to laugh at similar things! Since COVID, seems like people are depressed and can't laugh at themselves. I poke fun at myself because I'm far from perfect. I prefer comedy movies and shows rather than drama. When I think back to my marriages and relationships, it's the laughter I prefer to remember most. Adults do not laugh enough, I know that for sure. Thanks for all you do to help us ladies, Jonathon! You are the best! HUGS
It's so easy to laugh with someone who I adore. Laughing with someone who I adore is another way to share a tight embrace. What a great video. You are speaking my language. Trust. Fox-hole partner (we have each other's back). Relationship as an entity (you + me = the entity of us). Protect you, protect me, protect the relationship. What is a relationship for if it's not to share life with, and to be fully known by another? I highly recommend Dr. Les Carter's video where he discusses the five levels of relationship engagement -- Level five is what I'm talking about! (Video title is "5 Levels Of Relationship Engagement, And Where Narcissists Get Stuck")
Nothing wrong with being attractive to each other. However you put on the brakes and then get to know who they are before proceeding. There is a lie out there that women don’t care about looks. We do.
I fall hard to an emotionally supportive guy. I don't understand physical attraction exactly (I'm on the spectrum) but a great personality and emotional support makes me drool 🤤
Be careful about good looks coming first as most narcissists have the looks and will abuse you without any care! I have had them. Be careful 😬 take 4 weeks to get to know them before intimacy.
Jonathan wouldn‘t you agree that to be agreeable you must have strong boundaries? I feel this is my downfall in relationships, I‘m so agreeable when I really like someone that they lose respect and get bored with me….
You must have strong boundaries or you will attract toxic narcissists. Google the boundaries charts and study them as I did and figure out how you feel about each one and stick to your beliefs and anyone who doesn’t respect your NO boundaries is not normal or your man! I had to learn this and it has helped me tremendously!
Have strong boundaries and self respect or else a man will walk all over you. I think as women we are "programmed' to be easygoing and agreeable which essentially means doormat/a people pleaser to the make the man happy - doing things he wants to do and not speaking your mind at all even if things bother you. Speak your truth always.
What a wonderful explanation of what it actually takes to be in a healthy, happy, long lasting relationship.❤ I throughly enjoy watching your vids and you take on things. I hope to one day have exactly the 6 points you've mentioned here today in my future commitment❣️ Well said🏆🏅
Laughter is essential in a relationship. Negative sarcasm isn't funny at all and it is trauma in disguise. Next time a man says something negative or sarcastic, ask him if is he trying to be helpful or hurtful? Call him out.
I ❤ a man with a healthy sense of humor! I always loved Steve Allen and Garry Shandling! Henry Winkler is a dream man to me! Being agreeable and easy going is a very good quality but you have to have an opinion without being opinionated! Best wishes! ❤❤❤❤ your spirit and podcast!❤❤❤❤❤🙏🙏!
A man very slowly and sneakily tried to destroy me. It’s very shocking. I have never dated since. Street angel. I actually think he is not attracted to women. Fools everyone. We share two children and he uses that as a way to sneakily harass me. It’s hard to open up again.
I have a friend who has been going out with a man for 5 years. She doesn't own her own place so she's now decided to move into the guy's house. I get the sense its basically a living arrangement, my friend sees it as a solution to her accommodation problem. But at the same time she wants it be like they're married, de facto. Already she's having to throw out things she likes as there's not enough room, and unhappy that his things are taking up all the space. He seems quite tolerant but I'm wondering how realistic she's being. He hasn't declared his love to her and you can only push things so far.
You’re Amazing Jonathan!! I always learn something from you or am happy and confident that I too feel the real love and trust you expound on! Thank you!
The #1 reason I believe that relationships fail is bc both people know that there are options. Once it gets complicated, you can easily get another one. I can admittedly say that if I’m not married, and the man starts doing things that starts to make me unhappy ( their BS) I will exit the relationship. My mental health is above the relationship always. Also, most people don’t want to wipe vomit off another person unless there is a deep commitment such as marriage. I’m just saying Jonathan, 2023 is not like that. Options options options. That’s why everyone is lonely.
I did find on dating apps there were men who just acted like they had a smorgasbord of choices, so they didn't bother even doing the basics of meeting and organising a date place to meet. They were wasting time IMO because their interaction with me didn't go anywhere at all. I think a couple dropped me before meeting for very trivial reasons- like: they wanted a woman to show up to a specific location, but hadn't even picked out a venue. And through a dating agency, the men acted like i was a product - ticking boxes and one complained to the agency I was late (he waited under 15 minutes in a location he supposedly loved and went to anyway). He could and should have called me first to find out what happened.
I have different aspects of my sense of humor. One is flat out slap stick goofy. I love cheesy jokes. I also love random oopsie occurring... like getting tongue twisted, spurts of of silly, whatever. But I also have a raw humor characteristic from surviving humans and life. I have a strange acceptance of my past, my face, my awkwardness, and economical situation. 😄 it doesn't always sit well with people. 🤪
Hi, Jonathon, thank you for all your work! Question: what do you think is the balance between healthy communication and neediness in texting for example, let's say in early stages of dating/relationship? Because you've mentioned in some clips in the past that some of us women tend to want the man to text more/a lot just to feel validated. But how do you actually differentiate between that and simple personal preference, communication style, etc? Thank you.
I was going to say!…..I’m agreeable when I agree. I disagree when I disagree on super important things. I’m not a nightmare. Can it be that we happily agree to disagree but then happily agree on something else? 😂
This is great ! Still looking for unconditional love. Off online dating. makes me wish that prostitution is legal. I am playing for a person’s hand and tired of being an object of a boy’s “action” where are the GAM? (Grown ass men) 😊
You’re on to something here. My ex husband would tell me he would put my car payment in the mailbox for me. Three months later my car got repossessed because I didn’t know he never sent the payments and spent the money on drugs (another shocker). Needless to say the trust was destroyed and I divorced him.
Native Americans don't fall into love. It takes work getting thru difficult times builds love...anyone can enjoy good times. Picture him or her taking care of you before you sleep together.
I have a dry sense of humour , a can be a smartass , I guess that’s a Poker . I can also be ditsy , Lucille Ball style being funny without trying . Humour is hugely important to Me . I want to Belly laugh with a partner .
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Oh Jonathon. I recognize the pain in your face at 7:10. I too am recuperating from a breakup. Same timeline as you. We are going to heal and prosper❤️
Uld you do a vdo on how addiction to alcohol and drugs interfears...you can't be present...I'm sober now and conscious now..I couldn't do it while drinking I was drinking over the chaos with a covert ADHD narcissist who wouldn't get help..I got help and I left him 2 months ago
Can't edit above would you do a vdo on addiction and failed relationships thanks u tube is weird for me I can't edit properly
T😢
I believe in RISING UP IN LOVE together vs falling in love.....Peace To All.
I like that too
Lust...I just had to stop texting a new person because all he wanted to discuss was when we would first make love. He wanted me to pin down 3rd date, 2nd date. Uggg. Although he seemed like a Christian man, so much pressure so I came back this morning with my values about waiting until marriage, even though I know most men won't have the same values. I realized overnight I need my faith and God more than pleasing any man. He came back with " Don't you want to take care of your man?". I'm so glad I said how I felt and not allow someone to sway my values especially since he seems so focused on sex. I had only started talking to him and we hadn't even met!!! Good Lord. I was saved by my faith to make sure I spoke up and honored God the way I need to!! 🙏I think if he needs a woman that wants to lay down with him over my values then, hit the road Jack! God is much more to me than any person on earth.
He's a human no matter his religion...
Right on the money Jonathon. My partner and I have all that you mentioned. Open up your hearts people and listen to this man….you won’t go wrong. Life is too short to be miserable. Just be yourself and good things come your way.
Agreed 👍🏼
Exactly
I could never imagine this level of contentment until I met my late beloved husband, and we only had eight years before he got seriously ill, but it amazed me when I realized that in all that time, I never once fantasized about another man, whether real or imagined. I only fantasized about him and the next time we'd be alone. I'd heard of this level of happiness, but wow. Now I know it's possible, with steady effort and a common desire. There's no point in settling for less.
I'm remembering that my ex husband said 'I'm not going anywhere' to me when we were maybe 3 months into dating and getting serious ie moved in together a month or two later. When he said that, I really felt it. I'd never heard those words before and could feel his committment.
So lovely for you. Yes, there are men like this who keep their words, are of good character and are smart enough to know there is far more than rolling around in the sack to a real life. ☘️
Yesssss, I was going to say laugh together. Be quirky, be yourself ! Life is serious enough as it us. But to find an individual who makes me laugh, I adore it.
I agree with you 100% about having a sense of humor. I can only be with a man who has a sense of humor! In fact, that’s one trait that I didn’t like in my brother’s first wife - NOT having one at all! I actually don’t trust people who don’t have a sense of humor.
I know what you mean! People who don't have a sense of humor, I just don't know how to relate with them! I'm on the witty side, so if people don't get any of my funny comments or jokes, they don't get me as a person . I couldn't be in a relationship with them.
@@lesleyherrick3966The majority of people have zero sense of humor.
Yes - laughing together - even with just an unspoken form of communication - is so important. What you were describing and just bad behavior we might call 'toxic masculinity' - not male but the masculine energy that is based in greed, power and fear and feels the need to beat down instead of build up.
A person who is unsure about their relationship is someone who is missing something. I was there once, when I found what was missing I ended my marriage and it was the best decision I ever made.
Do you mind sharing what was missing? 😊
God is good to you 💙
@@marialovesyou8157 security and love.
What was missing? What did you find?
Cash and prizes
My guess is there's a veriety of different kinds of relationships out thier. I always go back to , if you can't put the truth into it your not going to have a substance relationship ..In the beginning and with no ecknowledgment we have just the exaggeration of what need ..It happens while in the grocery store we buy a fruit and thought we needed and was going to enjoy ..yet week might go by and you still hadn't had it ..But that's all I have to say ..Thanks ..food for thought .
*Recognizing the qualities that capture men's attention is vital. Let's use this wisdom to embrace our unique strengths and create genuine connections.*
This video is underrated, it should go viral. Very well said, and I felt it. Thank you
Can you send it to 10 friends and ask them to do the same and so on? Thanks ☺️
Lust & limerence is very common so you are right Jon! That’s what we did when young and we keep doing it as we don’t learn a better way unless something intercedes into our education. Thank God for YOU! Huge help!
My honey and I have a thing where we talk about something and then bring it back to us. On our first date I mentioned the sunset and Ed said "very pretty and so is the sunset" 🥹 melted my heart ✨💖✨ so we've kept that going with other things 😊
Thanks for sharing!!
Having an agreeable personality & at least having a sense of humor do go hand in hand!❤❤So true!!
I think more people than you’d think, don’t actually want the whole package. Having a partner in life, is a true gift. I think a lot of people just want the label, without the work. It wasn’t until I started healing, that I started wanting different things. You’re not looking for someone to fill up space in your heart because you’re lonely; you want someone just as they are.. a beautiful addition to an already full life. Love your video! New sub ☺️ (also single 👋🏼)
Lust and limerence is so common in relationships. i know so many guys who say this is the basis for their relationship and only date hot, thin women - these men are unconscious and can't connect emotionally. It is absolutely important to be attracted to your partner, but looks fade, and really look at their behavior patterns, how they treat others, how they deal when things don't go their way (travel delays, roadrage, etc) , finances - and most importantly how they were raised (relationship with their parents). Laughter is essential for healthy relationship, but joking around and sarcasm is NOT COOL. I've read that sarcasm is TRAUMA in disguise and can be hurtful to another human being unintentionally (unconscious behavior). Whenever someone says something sarcastic or even somewhat condescending, you should say back to this person, are you trying to be helpful or hurtful? Call people out on stuff.
Great comment!
You've got it Jennifer. 👍
@@sherriflemming3218 thanks! A lot of healing and inner work to get to this point in my life.
Better than dating hot fat women.
I'm a bit sarcastic 🙃
Mom always told me if one can't laugh at themselves, they are in trouble. I laugh at myself daily lol! She was right!
I’ve got a warm heart and an incredible sense of humor. I even sing in the kitchen. But, in a relationship, I always get cheated on.
Sense of humor: Mel Brooks. Larry David. Jerry Seinfeld. Adam Sandler. Eddie Murphy. Jonathan Winters. Robin Williams....and many women comedians...and more...
Bill Burr, George Carlin and Dave Chappell too...
Absolutely Mel , Jerry & Adam😉 Don't forget Gene Wilder, Jim Carey, Carl Barron, Kitty Flanagan just to name a few...
And Rodney Dangerfield.
Love bombing is what narcisists do to capture power over someone falling in love by it, so that they can extract the physical pleasures without the emotional care/content.
Yep
Thank you Jonathan! The basics are so important and yet we sure forget them. I realized that what I was feeling (connecting with a wonderful man) was fear. I had to dig deep to understand, and your talk helped the process. After a 30 year marriage, and losing my late husband, and then being with my S.O. for 6 years and losing him created a fear of losing someone I loved again. Love and life is not for the faint of heart! Learning to be vulnerable again means learning to trust and open once again. Thank you! I heard you and learned! God bless, Diane. PS.. I love to laugh, so I'm onboard with just being human and enjoying the ride...Tears and all!
WOW! This is so awesome and 100% pure common sense!!! I'm obviously not looking in the right place because I don't know men like this who want a marriage, but you're giving me some hope Jonathon.
The super caring guys ive had in my life have "friend zoned" me or vice versa.
Love is not equal commitment! People can fall in love, but that doesn´t mean they know how to be a good partner or what a healthy commitment/relationship is.
Very good point
💯 Patty
I love you so much I feel you like my dad 😊God protect you 🙏 ❤😊
Wasn't this amazing? My God, I love this.
that is so sweet to read!
I've recently told my sweetheart " you don't have to entertain me, I just want to spend time with you"
Love it..
You’re so right, Jonathon! “I love you” statement doesn’t mean a real commitment most of the time!
Very true
I’m currently in Romania but couldn’t miss this video so I snuck away to watch it 😂
Thank you so much for your good advice 🙏 more blessings Jonathan 🙌 much respect
You are so welcome
I have learned so much from you! Thank you Jonathan. 😊
Awesome! Thank you!
True Jonathon you must be present 😊
Whst is deep love?
1. Can you trust this person?
Do you have the other person's best interest at heart? This is trust.
2. You have to be present in this relationship. You're over
3. We are important. The "We" is a separate entity. You have know how to cocreate this "We". I have got your back. I will be there for you when you need support. If you're going through chemotherapy, is this person going to wipe the vomit from your face?
I only want to be physical with you. You light my fire
The people in my country are just not equipped to communicate to get close to another. There is so many wounds unhealed. I saw my self acting out badly the other night and then I fell into a type of depression because of the unpleasant feelings coming up. But those feelings have to be integrated no matter how much I wish I didn’t have them. I do try to be agreeable because it makes things 😢work. Humour is important. Yes you have to be able laugh at yourself and your shortcomings because they are there. And there are plenty of them. 😂❤❤❤
Hi Margaret, I hope you're doing well! This is global regarding communication and unhealed wounds. It's important to laugh at the adversities of life.😂 Life is managed, not cured. Cheers!
That’s not true
If we didn’t laugh enough, we’d go nuts
Someone who has to be on a medical related diet is not being unreasonable or difficult by being clear, as long as it is communicated in a pleasant way.
That wasn't what I was talking about...
1. You want to be a partner with someone. It can't be one wants to be a partner and the other doesn't. You have to choose someone that wants partnership.
2. Have an agreeable personality. Don't be disagreeable. Don't be controlling, criticizing -this isn't being masculine/a masculine trait. It's just bad behavior. BE EASY-GOING. Behavior can change. Personality cannot.
3.Shared sense of humor and at least have a sense of humor. You have to have humor for the chaos of life. You don't have to entertain each other, but learning to laugh with one another. At the end of the day you want to laugh and have fun with one another.
Not sure how many types of humor there are but it's important to laugh at similar things! Since COVID, seems like people are depressed and can't laugh at themselves. I poke fun at myself because I'm far from perfect. I prefer comedy movies and shows rather than drama. When I think back to my marriages and relationships, it's the laughter I prefer to remember most. Adults do not laugh enough, I know that for sure. Thanks for all you do to help us ladies, Jonathon! You are the best! HUGS
😊
It's so easy to laugh with someone who I adore. Laughing with someone who I adore is another way to share a tight embrace. What a great video. You are speaking my language. Trust. Fox-hole partner (we have each other's back). Relationship as an entity (you + me = the entity of us). Protect you, protect me, protect the relationship.
What is a relationship for if it's not to share life with, and to be fully known by another?
I highly recommend Dr. Les Carter's video where he discusses the five levels of relationship engagement -- Level five is what I'm talking about! (Video title is "5 Levels Of Relationship Engagement, And Where Narcissists Get Stuck")
Oh my gosh Jonathan l totally agree with your last point! Humor is so important for me.
I like to be happy and right.
Nothing wrong with being attractive to each other. However you put on the brakes and then get to know who they are before proceeding. There is a lie out there that women don’t care about looks. We do.
Yes, women do want to be attracted to their guy.
I fall hard to an emotionally supportive guy. I don't understand physical attraction exactly (I'm on the spectrum)
but a great personality and emotional support makes me drool 🤤
Be careful about good looks coming first as most narcissists have the looks and will abuse you without any care! I have had them. Be careful 😬 take 4 weeks to get to know them before intimacy.
Johnathan
I love your channel
Thank you for all that you do
Hugs and ❤
Just need to best friends first
I appreciate your persuasiveness
Your motivating
the way you teach
Is uplifting.
I appreciate that!
Thank you Sir for your time and your energy you put into your videos
I appreciate you
Noted!!
I appreciate that!
Another excellent episode! Thank you!
Thanks again!
Jonathan! I just ran across an ad in RUclips picturing the woman you a “psychic” sent to you! 😂
I added it to your RUclips page to schedule a call.
Jonathan wouldn‘t you agree that to be agreeable you must have strong boundaries? I feel this is my downfall in relationships, I‘m so agreeable when I really like someone that they lose respect and get bored with me….
Yes, agreeable without being a doormat. I should have said/agreeable with boundaries.
You must have strong boundaries or you will attract toxic narcissists. Google the boundaries charts and study them as I did and figure out how you feel about each one and stick to your beliefs and anyone who doesn’t respect your NO boundaries is not normal or your man! I had to learn this and it has helped me tremendously!
Have strong boundaries and self respect or else a man will walk all over you. I think as women we are "programmed' to be easygoing and agreeable which essentially means doormat/a people pleaser to the make the man happy - doing things he wants to do and not speaking your mind at all even if things bother you. Speak your truth always.
Agreeable is essentially a people pleasing doormat
I agree, a since of humor goes a long way.I can sometimes have a "dark"since of humor.Thank you Jonathon, appreciate your vlog today!
Glad you enjoyed it
Sense, not since 😂
@@bisnonno I misspelled sense but I was referring to this meaning of the word.Thank you for the correction!
@@LisaDavis-c2g You're most welcome!
What a wonderful explanation of what it actually takes to be in a healthy, happy, long lasting relationship.❤
I throughly enjoy watching your vids and you take on things.
I hope to one day have exactly the 6 points you've mentioned here today in my future commitment❣️
Well said🏆🏅
I really like to laugh and be with a man with a sense of humor, but I really don't like negative sarcasm, especially at the expense of someone else.
Laughter is essential in a relationship. Negative sarcasm isn't funny at all and it is trauma in disguise. Next time a man says something negative or sarcastic, ask him if is he trying to be helpful or hurtful? Call him out.
@@jenniferl1908 That's a great question in response.
Jonathan, could you share what are some of your negative traits currently in the dating market?
No one is perfect.
My personal traits?
No, not "your personal traits" I think she means "your list of negative trails out there in the dating market. 😊
A great Video today, just flowed so well & i definitely needed to hear these wise words
Thank you Jonathon 🙏😊
Glad you enjoyed it!
I ❤ a man with a healthy sense of humor! I always loved Steve Allen and Garry Shandling! Henry Winkler is a dream man to me! Being agreeable and easy going is a very good quality but you have to have an opinion without being opinionated! Best wishes! ❤❤❤❤ your spirit and podcast!❤❤❤❤❤🙏🙏!
Open to laughter and finding little daft things funny is often like good but not something that appears in the foreground.
Jonathan, what I love ❤️ of is that you can talk and. make sense.
WOW, thank you 😊
Yes it is about having another’s back
A man very slowly and sneakily tried to destroy me. It’s very shocking. I have never dated since. Street angel. I actually think he is not attracted to women. Fools everyone. We share two children and he uses that as a way to sneakily harass me. It’s hard to open up again.
You are right ✅️ I will....❤❤
Sinking in.❤
I have a friend who has been going out with a man for 5 years. She doesn't own her own place so she's now decided to move into the guy's house. I get the sense its basically a living arrangement, my friend sees it as a solution to her accommodation problem. But at the same time she wants it be like they're married, de facto. Already she's having to throw out things she likes as there's not enough room, and unhappy that his things are taking up all the space. He seems quite tolerant but I'm wondering how realistic she's being. He hasn't declared his love to her and you can only push things so far.
It sounds like a potential recipe for disaster.. Yikes!
yikes...i hope moving in works out for her. That's a long time to be with someone where you don't feel deep love and commitment
@@lesliestewart6239 yes, he's her social companion, travel companion with benefits. And that's as much as he wants, he's never been married.
FYI, please look into the criteria of common law marriage before EVER living together.
Perfect advice! Great job Jon!! {{{ Hugs }}}
You’re Amazing Jonathan!! I always learn something from you or am happy and confident that I too feel the real love and trust you expound on! Thank you!
You're so welcome!
I added the trust becomes the first
Loved the podcast!
Yes I was going to say it works both ways 💯😁
Yes sense of humor!
Exactly
You are spot on 💯! I value & appreciate your insight. Thank you J 🙏🏼🌹♥️
I appreciate that
Beautiful and very real. ❤
Thank you so much!
I love my bf but he’s got too many women around him all the time so I’m sick of the competition
Happy Day!
Same to you!
Enjoyed this real respectable talk!
I think everyone should listen to this again and again and again 🥰🥰🥰
WOW! Thank you, and much appreciated. Any chance you share this video with friends?
@@JonathonAslay Ofcourse 👍
Much appreciated 🙏
The #1 reason I believe that relationships fail is bc both people know that there are options. Once it gets complicated, you can easily get another one. I can admittedly say that if I’m not married, and the man starts doing things that starts to make me unhappy ( their BS) I will exit the relationship. My mental health is above the relationship always.
Also, most people don’t want to wipe vomit off another person unless there is a deep commitment such as marriage.
I’m just saying Jonathan, 2023 is not like that. Options options options.
That’s why everyone is lonely.
😔
I did find on dating apps there were men who just acted like they had a smorgasbord of choices, so they didn't bother even doing the basics of meeting and organising a date place to meet. They were wasting time IMO because their interaction with me didn't go anywhere at all.
I think a couple dropped me before meeting for very trivial reasons- like: they wanted a woman to show up to a specific location, but hadn't even picked out a venue.
And through a dating agency, the men acted like i was a product - ticking boxes and one complained to the agency I was late (he waited under 15 minutes in a location he supposedly loved and went to anyway). He could and should have called me first to find out what happened.
I agree 100 %
Sense of humor and MUSIC!!!
I wish I knew. I crack my own self up
I have different aspects of my sense of humor. One is flat out slap stick goofy. I love cheesy jokes. I also love random oopsie occurring... like getting tongue twisted, spurts of of silly, whatever.
But I also have a raw humor characteristic from surviving humans and life.
I have a strange acceptance of my past, my face, my awkwardness, and economical situation. 😄 it doesn't always sit well with people. 🤪
Hi, Jonathon, thank you for all your work! Question: what do you think is the balance between healthy communication and neediness in texting for example, let's say in early stages of dating/relationship? Because you've mentioned in some clips in the past that some of us women tend to want the man to text more/a lot just to feel validated. But how do you actually differentiate between that and simple personal preference, communication style, etc? Thank you.
I was going to say!…..I’m agreeable when I agree. I disagree when I disagree on super important things. I’m not a nightmare. Can it be that we happily agree to disagree but then happily agree on something else? 😂
It’s the infatuation that we have to learn how to do. What about the infatuation part?
This is great ! Still looking for unconditional love. Off online dating. makes me wish that prostitution is legal.
I am playing for a person’s hand and tired of being an object of a boy’s “action” where are the GAM? (Grown ass men) 😊
Jonathan I decided not to date Tim. I am moving on. I am glad I took it slow
Spot on! Love it....
Thanks for listening
One day!
I am thinking about understanding and loves this is understandable trust and compassion
Great video 👏👏👏
Glad you enjoyed it
My test is “Can I trust you to mail an important letter.”
When do you test that?
You’re on to something here. My ex husband would tell me he would put my car payment in the mailbox for me. Three months later my car got repossessed because I didn’t know he never sent the payments and spent the money on drugs (another shocker). Needless to say the trust was destroyed and I divorced him.
@@melissabrzescinski494 I’m so sorry you had to go through that! Trust and respect. Be brave and be safe❤️
@@JonathonAslay after a week or so
Now what are the qualities again Jon????
So Soo true!!!
Native Americans don't fall into love. It takes work getting thru difficult times builds love...anyone can enjoy good times. Picture him or her taking care of you before you sleep together.
Hello! Everyone
You look handsome in the thumbnail photo.
I have a dry sense of humour , a can be a smartass , I guess that’s a Poker . I can also be ditsy , Lucille Ball style being funny without trying . Humour is hugely important to Me . I want to Belly laugh with a partner .
Agree 💯
Not me
Hi there 😊 ❤❤
Good morning!
Amen 🙏
Amen
💯👏👏👏👏