Scary Things Men Do To Use Women Over 40

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  • Опубликовано: 16 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 177

  • @JonathonAslay
    @JonathonAslay  Год назад

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  • @terrymiller7701
    @terrymiller7701 Год назад +24

    Maybe most don't hurt unintentionally, but some do.

  • @julesmeyeri2056
    @julesmeyeri2056 Год назад +5

    Unintentionally hurting someone is fine but not caring less about isn't ever acceptable IMO

  • @lauraepiscopo
    @lauraepiscopo Год назад +18

    Just because a man is broken, a man has no excuse to inflict their pain upon other people and drag people down with them into the pit. They should resolve their pain first, become more mature and then proceed. There are many immature excuses that could be used for "unintentionally" hurting women. If a man is not in a position to genuinely make a purposeful decision to establish a wholesome, constructive relationship, then they should restrain themselves from pursuing it. Men should not expect women to engage in sexual relationships, expect a woman to provide 100% of their affirming, loving attention to a man unless they are prepared to make a commitment.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Год назад +2

      I didn't say it as an excuse

    • @sibbiecakesify
      @sibbiecakesify Год назад +1

      I totally agree with you.

    • @kimking3909
      @kimking3909 Год назад +2

      I agree with your point and have often thought this way before. And on this point, we’re expecting the man to be a grown and logical person. But as people, we do reach a loneliness and we desire to find a wonderful companion.

  • @joansandeen9443
    @joansandeen9443 Год назад +14

    Unless you've walked in someone else's shoes, you can never understand their battles so don't judge.

  • @melissajenniferjones9959
    @melissajenniferjones9959 Год назад +16

    Sometimes going through a "poor" relationship only builds a person, through the experience, towards a really great relationship down the road.

    • @onset5610
      @onset5610 Год назад +2

      I agree that’s happened to me! It’s actually been the BIGGEST blessing in the long term- painful in the sort term

    • @TheBeverly7
      @TheBeverly7 Год назад +3

      I hope so!!

  • @psfran3448
    @psfran3448 Год назад +20

    Sometimes I find it hard to be empathetic to these so called "damaged" divorced men looking for sympathy. Trust me: having your dear spouse/love of your life drop dead in year 27 of marriage is no cake walk either. We all can either play victim or live life to it's fullest potential. I choose to live: 😊

    • @kimking3909
      @kimking3909 Год назад +5

      My condolences 😢

    • @nickieglazer33
      @nickieglazer33 Год назад +1

      16:38 It was a typo, She meant ‘hoovering’.
      It is a manipulation tactic by narcissistic personality types, after a discard and part of the abuse cycle.
      It is named after the vacuum cleaner as it is akin to being sucked back into the abusive relationship.
      That is why she was scared.
      I know all to well how that feels, which is why I got a protection order against my NPD ex, after I escaped.
      I hope she is ok.

    • @sherryj738
      @sherryj738 Год назад +1

      I think a lit of people were wondering what you were drinking.
      I felt like everytime I watched you with your "blue cup" you were very thirsty.

  • @Kwk16534
    @Kwk16534 Год назад +7

    I like the orchids in the background always had an affinity to that

  • @sherriflemming3218
    @sherriflemming3218 Год назад +11

    Some don't hurt you intentionally, then some do intentionally. And can be vindictive. It can be shocking. People will only do what you allow. 🎃. You can inly control yourself.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Год назад

      Most don't

    • @kimking3909
      @kimking3909 Год назад +1

      I think people will act how they wanna act. You can’t control that. You can only “control” what your response will be.

  • @terrymiller7701
    @terrymiller7701 Год назад +13

    Some might not hurt you unintentionally, but some do. And those are the worse. Can you say Narcissist?

    • @kathleen4611
      @kathleen4611 Год назад

      You might want to call it a narcissist about things that I married three of these guys that were intentional, I call him demon possessed m f k e r s

    • @wandaphairr8598
      @wandaphairr8598 Год назад

      You got that right!! Because I was involved with a Narcissist who only thought what was doing was right according to him

  • @erinjk123
    @erinjk123 Год назад +2

    Wishes for people to find compatible loving people that fulfill all your needs. *sends out intention*

  • @janespitfire9884
    @janespitfire9884 Год назад +7

    I do not messy with married men or any substance abuse druggies or too angry. Life is tough enough...cannot deal wiht that situation.

  • @JanetMacCallum
    @JanetMacCallum Год назад +6

    I had a broken man said he would never hurt me. I told him that’s not attainable but he can at least demonstrate behaviours that would prevent causing me pain. After some hard core love bombing from him and finally meeting him in person, I told him I didn’t think his energy/behaviour matched his words. Funnily enough I only saw him once after that conversation. 😂

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Год назад

      Did he hurt you?

    • @JanetMacCallum
      @JanetMacCallum Год назад

      Yes, he was love bombing several other women. I didn't dwell on it though as I realised early on he had a lot of issues.@@JonathonAslay

  • @Gigi-wc3kl
    @Gigi-wc3kl Год назад +2

    True users mistaken kindness for weakness and they will come for you. Along with kindness one MUST establish firm boundaries

  • @angelah9413
    @angelah9413 Год назад +1

    When men do not answer my question...I RUN...or block instantly!

  • @melstiller8561
    @melstiller8561 Год назад +1

    Love your shirt, Jonathon! As for the adverb 'unintentionally,' let me replace it with a more honest one: unfortunately. Women of a certain age (much older than 40, let's say) are, invariably, alone and lonely. It's not living alone that scares them; it's feeling lonely and knowingly vulnerable. That's when the wolves come out of the darkness and hunt for unprotected prey. Even the once-strong and accomplished female can find herself in the wolf's mouth, bleeding.

  • @gretchencline5124
    @gretchencline5124 Год назад +11

    Jonathan you are so awesome and very entertaining while also giving great relationship advice❤

  • @Hopesammward
    @Hopesammward Год назад +2

    Men are smart and i never underestimate them

  • @Lisa-mj2lj
    @Lisa-mj2lj Год назад +1

    I love this vocalizing of unintentional. We can be so quick to lash out emotionally with blame when we are hurting. I just had a conversation with a very happily long time married friend which made me realize that love would do is give the other person grace and understanding.

  • @therocknrollcook
    @therocknrollcook Год назад +1

    Just got out of a 6 month relationship with a FA man. Best lover I’ve ever had. . .but too damaged outside the bedroom. . . Like rollercoaster ride. Relieved I’m off that ride 😂

  • @Lillyofthevalley59
    @Lillyofthevalley59 Год назад +1

    My husband won't devorce me, but in my heart and mind, I want nothing to do with him.Itt is over he will never have me back. I am set in my mind paper or not.

  • @thelmahoare
    @thelmahoare Год назад +4

    Yes thats just happened to me, mixed messages he painted a wonderful picture of our future together, felt it was unintentional though.

    • @javireyes7333
      @javireyes7333 Год назад

      Me too

    • @indianiecworld
      @indianiecworld Год назад

      same here, i was fooled by his fantasy impulse. as soon as he realized he went too far, he pulled away leaving me high and dry on a couple of cancelled arrangements. I should've know if a man moves fast he is either horny or emotionally damaged. Lesson learned.

  • @LastTree
    @LastTree Год назад +4

    Love the shirt! Scariest is not being honest. Anyone should be honest about addictions. It's unfortunate that some hide it, I don't excuse this topic at all. I don't believe this unintentionally hurting, when they are brought to and if they go to counseling, they will deny their problem and never step up to treatment. A lot will not give up their addictions and blame the other to hang on to it. They know exactly what they are doing. I don't buy it. I have no sympathy for them who waste and use other people's time and heart. It was their choice to lead this addictive path, not like others who are bound to meds that hopefully will make them well. It's a hard road what to believe when you fall for an addict. What you hear is the lingering love and dedication and heartbreak when trying to resolve this toxic love.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 Год назад +2

      Well said. There are two types of addicts.
      Those that are open and public with them and those that are hiding it behind closed doors. However all humans have addictions in some form.
      It's Impossible To Have A Relationship With An Addict - Kenny Weiss podcast

    • @LastTree
      @LastTree Год назад +1

      Sounds like Jon you admitted and then defended being addicted to various things, but how did you help the broken hearted women who fell in love with you in stead of blaming them for trying to make it work?

  • @priscillamills3985
    @priscillamills3985 Год назад +2

    Im 71 , lost my husband 2 yrs ago married 30 yrs. Dont like being alone! Want to date but dont want to go online. I have one close freind of my deceased husband but im leary hes a player he says he was always attracted to me & i havent seen him in 15 yrs.. i knew him from the past . He lives in Reno, Nevada & i live in southern calif. He wants to come and see me & says hes really attracted to me..
    Buy the way i lost 2 sons & been taking care of my last son for 3 yrs who hasbeen battleing stage 4 colen cancer.
    Im ready for a boyfreind or love in my life thats for sure.!

    • @mishi144
      @mishi144 Год назад +3

      Don't date the creepy pervert friend of your husband. You will not find any love there.

    • @javireyes7333
      @javireyes7333 Год назад

      Find a dancing class for elderly people next to where you live. You ll find a lovely mate probably there

    • @helenaskotowska5076
      @helenaskotowska5076 Год назад

      I strongly advise you not to date this guy!!! He is a hyena trying to take adventage of your situation. When my beloved husband of 30 years died of heart attack, I was in exactly the same situation and I'm glad I said NO to this, so called, friend. You suffered enough already. Now, take care of the most important and beautiful person on Earth: YOU!

  • @dtourville9293
    @dtourville9293 Год назад +1

    Bread crumbing, jealousy, manipulation, doormat, clinging, … has nothing to do with love from men OR ANYONE! FO!!! Like the song goes, players only love you when their playin!

  • @theresavent8217
    @theresavent8217 Год назад +3

    Jonathon,
    I am compelled to acknowledge you. I am a new listener of your advises. I found you accidently, hopefully, on purpose.
    I was immediately drawn to your knowledge and experience!
    Please don't change as feel you are valuable for many.
    Bless you and thank you for being you..
    Theresa Vent

  • @angelaellis8796
    @angelaellis8796 Год назад +4

    Unless a woman has done the work, she victimizes herself. Listening to questions and comments, there are a lot of women following you that don't seem to understand that they are the initial problem. It can be hard to admit that you need to stop looking and do the work to be healthy emotionally.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Год назад

      Exactly

    • @Hopesammward
      @Hopesammward Год назад

      I personally understand about ‘the work’ spiritual path’ bonus if you expanded your words so others understand your direction it’s so huge and important so light the path of beginnings and lime road less travelled have a disclaimer it’s a one way no return path and although at points you may want to stop or return that’s the breakthrough
      I’m strange when I accidentally cut myself ( kitchen , gardening any thing like that ) I don’t bleed instantly .. I amuse myself at the warp of time almost now up to ten fifteen seconds before any presenting blood I still think that’s really odd however I trust my body and of things that event and that it’s the letting go the inner trust regardless of external noise the say so the expectational voices of judgements and so called ‘ the norm’ for who ? For why ? Your perfect for YOU
      And that’s all that matters because you matter to you
      Gosh yes there is a lot of you and ..
      That’s bloody ok
      Really ok
      Stuff every one else
      They are thinking of them too
      Any way I enjoyed reading what you said
      😊

  • @Hopesammward
    @Hopesammward Год назад +1

    I would not want to be loved under pressure

  • @isabelitaranada7951
    @isabelitaranada7951 Год назад +3

    Soooooo Shocking..... that's why scared to love again

  • @Hopesammward
    @Hopesammward Год назад +1

    Ps vodka martini is all I drink when I do have a tipple my shop I owned was called bewitched moon . Resonate? Resignation? Buzzing ?

  • @helenalawe2061
    @helenalawe2061 10 месяцев назад

    I've been watching your channel for a few months. You are amazing! I love your no b.s. approach to this topic.

  • @martiemc8398
    @martiemc8398 6 месяцев назад

    😂👍 got the same thing going on. Unfortunately, it’s at work. But I try to ignore him as much as possible and avoid him up to now it hasn’t worked very well but he knows I like him, but I stay away from him. He’s not good for me his avoidance behavior is not healthy.
    Ironically, I have realized that I too am to an extent an avoidant. I too am broken. I have tried to reach out to him, but the one time he did he was very defensive. Now I hesitate to try to talk to him at all about anything important and realize again that he can’t be honest and frank about how he fells this is not good for me.

  • @pamelabonura6274
    @pamelabonura6274 Год назад +1

    Jonathan I met a great guy, Jonathan I met a great guy. Jonathan I met a great guy. And I know the difference!!! ❤ Thank you !!!

  • @rena6895
    @rena6895 Год назад +4

    Where is your beloved? I have not watched your video in a while. I missed you both!

    • @lindsay3793
      @lindsay3793 Год назад +2

      She wasn't feeling it and moved to Florida.

    • @rena6895
      @rena6895 Год назад +3

      @@lindsay3793 That is so sad… I had hoped they found their forever person. Thank you for your reply, I was trying to find her in a recent video.

  • @l.s.2151
    @l.s.2151 Год назад

    So appreciate your transparency and accountability

  • @RRthee1
    @RRthee1 Год назад

    Thank you. I continue to learn so much from you and expand my perspective of men (& people, in general). I'm currently dealing with a few of those issues from a good guy and keep exercising compassion.
    You recommend the BEST books (yours, included). I just received Wired for Love and am looking forward to reading it.

  • @Hopesammward
    @Hopesammward Год назад

    I believe that love is not greedy more than a mouthful is wasteful !

  • @kimking3909
    @kimking3909 Год назад +3

    As for us Catholics say, what would Jesus do! Makes it so much clearer! For me anyway.

  • @Maria-qx8se
    @Maria-qx8se Год назад +1

    What ? You don’t believe a man intentionally hurt a woman ? You’re kidding right! they know exactly what they doing 🤗

  • @TheBeverly7
    @TheBeverly7 Год назад +2

    I don't ever want to fall in love again!

  • @Lillyofthevalley59
    @Lillyofthevalley59 Год назад +1

    Sex before marriage is not proper a women is giving away her soul and power, and he looks at the women as weak and that she gives her self away to every man she meets, he pulls away because he lost respect for her. Ladies you are worth alot more than what you think. You do not have to have sex to prove your worth a man respects a woman of worth your worth is not lowing your standards.

  • @wandaphairr8598
    @wandaphairr8598 Год назад +1

    I think that some men intentionally use and hurt women very few do it unintentionally

  • @annanicolaou3180
    @annanicolaou3180 Год назад +2

    I love your honesty

  • @kimking3909
    @kimking3909 Год назад +2

    Q: Hurting people hurt people

  • @RoseMoke
    @RoseMoke Год назад

    No man and women have leave perfectly life in this world ..every individual person has their own choices after life has been wounded

  • @normaallen4573
    @normaallen4573 Год назад

    Jonathan I love your program

  • @indianiecworld
    @indianiecworld Год назад +1

    This perspective helps for sure to not hold grudge and not to have big expectations about the men out there. But emotional damage doesn't mean that a woman should be fixing a man. It doesn't mean men should be exempted from working on themselves while women don't get that pass. It doesn't mean that a man in this age should be treaten like unaware child and forgiven for being inconsiderate and hurting others. I am telling from my recent experience. It was painful.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Год назад +1

      It's not our job to fix people...

    • @wandaphairr8598
      @wandaphairr8598 Год назад

      I have experienced some of the same things myself

  • @donnamarrie3272
    @donnamarrie3272 Год назад

    Love the shirt!

  • @mquinlan676
    @mquinlan676 Год назад

    You are so right bad relationship they think other woman or another woman will be the same way. 😮Them dating site noooo good at all no matter wicth one your on. Now you can't even look on a dog site with having without even having scamming people on there you have to be so smart today

  • @Hopesammward
    @Hopesammward Год назад +1

    I’m a London Lady currently living down under far far away in a mystical place called Australia and sadly from you, however …you are right here in my lounge room and bedroom ( I have two tvs not being naughty) ( can be , could be with you ! ) so I resonate on an unbelievable level with your belief systems with the word you share I feel like you are mirroring me my dear grounded self realised warlock , you crack me up with laughter especially when you curse !
    I invite you into my life come on down under and see what you are like I’ll mirror you .
    I’ve been happily single solo since my 20 year marriage failed due to my bad choice I own my blinkers to see what I wanted to see
    Blimey what a looser I was then I stoped and forgave myself
    I could fall in love with you
    I like you very much
    Me (hope)

    • @sabserab
      @sabserab Год назад

      Holy attachment issues Batman! 😅 Jonathan would be my type, too, so I get you, but your comment comes off as creepy and desperate. Holy shit lol

  • @Hopesammward
    @Hopesammward Год назад

    I sent some words but think they went into the universe

  • @907patti
    @907patti Год назад

    I have learned so much from you! Thank you so much for what you do!!

  • @robinemery
    @robinemery Год назад +2

    A 3way always goes south!

  • @elipotter369
    @elipotter369 Год назад

    I had a man in his 20s who was 34 years younger interested in me. I could see the reasons - he wasnt pulling women his own age so had a series of relationships with 35 year olds in his early 20s, and i looked 35 (even though i was 57).
    It never went past coffee. I just didn't need or want to be in a relationship so much younger.

  • @Carr2409
    @Carr2409 Год назад

    Good message. What would LOVE do?. Thank you.

  • @jcool4358
    @jcool4358 Год назад

    Great topic, Jonathan. Great job.

  • @kimking3909
    @kimking3909 Год назад +2

    Emotionally constipated! 😂

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Год назад

      Yes

    • @TheMallyjoe
      @TheMallyjoe Год назад

      True I’ve met men who were definitely emotionally constipated. Toxic to the brain.

  • @shelley1071
    @shelley1071 Год назад

    Thank you for this. Very insightful 💙

  • @juliegarrett1365
    @juliegarrett1365 Год назад

    Love this ‼️ 😍

  • @Lillyofthevalley59
    @Lillyofthevalley59 Год назад

    I am a victor.I would love to love someone and that special person to love me.But I refuse to be a door mat.I will know when and who that is because my standards are high I stand strong on my beliefs and if I do not find my standards. I am perfectly fine ,loving who I am and being alone I do not a man to complete who I am. I am complete as a women.

  • @badabing-g4g
    @badabing-g4g Год назад +2

    You're funny and I'm drunk lol Happy Halloween 🎃

  • @user-mo2sg2vj3s
    @user-mo2sg2vj3s Год назад

    Great video.

  • @kathleen4611
    @kathleen4611 Год назад +1

    There are many ways to play a witch

  • @kathyverrelli5170
    @kathyverrelli5170 6 месяцев назад

    Great manifestation prayer

  • @leajianlanyu1581
    @leajianlanyu1581 Год назад

    Men Unintentionally hurt women by being non-committal

  • @tanyamolina3787
    @tanyamolina3787 Год назад

    Hey Jonathan … love your insight and videos. We learn a lot from you. However, if you could please try to refrain from smacking so much. I understand dry mouth occurs due to many reasons, but it is truly distracting.

  • @LillyGarciaLittle
    @LillyGarciaLittle Год назад

    as you would like it would too.

  • @patriciasaldanha7243
    @patriciasaldanha7243 Год назад +2

    HI JONATHAN- I love that shirt- Do you think it will work more wonders than the shotgun ? I don't think men can hurt women UNINTENYIONALLY - They KNOW when you're unhappy. Women may just not be a priority in their lives!

  • @jacobcamerson430
    @jacobcamerson430 Месяц назад

    I wanted to talk to you but it’s not working the link, it has some questions and I’ve answered them honestly but I guess it’s selective

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Месяц назад +1

      The link is working and no, it's not selective.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Месяц назад

      Www.jonathonaslay.com/coaching

  • @julesmeyeri2056
    @julesmeyeri2056 Год назад

    What goes around...

  • @estherwilliams9554
    @estherwilliams9554 Год назад

    What do you think about a man that does not have a job and won't do be with you?

  • @stephaniepantera
    @stephaniepantera Год назад

    What do you have in mind for teamwork building in Your relationship description?

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Год назад

      Helping each other professionally is one way...

  • @birisitakuruvoli3708
    @birisitakuruvoli3708 Год назад +1

    What would love do?

  • @Hopesammward
    @Hopesammward Год назад

    Hugs to you hugs to all xxxx

    • @Hopesammward
      @Hopesammward Год назад

      Your energy is very fresh to me I have never experienced a man like you only in my dream building creative visualisations .. is this real ? Or am I projecting a dream wish ?

  • @christannoel6033
    @christannoel6033 Год назад

    Nice shirt.

  • @Lillyofthevalley59
    @Lillyofthevalley59 Год назад

    Do not need a man to complete me.

  • @LillyGarciaLittle
    @LillyGarciaLittle Год назад

    Teachers!

  • @LillyGarciaLittle
    @LillyGarciaLittle Год назад

    What would LOVE do?

  • @estherwilliams9554
    @estherwilliams9554 Год назад

    What would love do

  • @Lillyofthevalley59
    @Lillyofthevalley59 Год назад

    My ex.

  • @victoriaoshea4865
    @victoriaoshea4865 Год назад

    WHAT WOULD LOVE DO?????????

  • @normaallen4573
    @normaallen4573 Год назад

    Yes

  • @jazzmatazzle1042
    @jazzmatazzle1042 Год назад

    #AYFRIGINMEN !!!!

  • @sherryj738
    @sherryj738 Год назад

    Are you dressed like howdy doody tonight?
    Jonathan... I appreciate that your good and speak kindly about your ex wife.
    She birthed 2 children for you
    Sending hugs and love

  • @angelaellis8796
    @angelaellis8796 Год назад

    please don't say the words to envoke a spell. Spell casting is serious and can have reprocussions.

  • @arielasharp2860
    @arielasharp2860 Год назад +1

  • @antjetautkus5506
    @antjetautkus5506 Год назад

    Bingo😅😅😅😅🎉😊

  • @kathleen4611
    @kathleen4611 Год назад +1

    So Jonathan are you a warlock I'm not a witch and a witch would be a manipulative person That ain't cool dude

  • @patriciasaldanha7243
    @patriciasaldanha7243 Год назад

    HI Jonathan! I think you should wear some kind of "crazy" shirt from time to time At keast you would not be intentionally making a woman cry.Besides it can be a subject of conversation other than the usual stuff- which - let's face it-, could get boring after some time- not to mention when it is curtailed by unexpected events (like a bomb-scare.)💮🌿🐦🍃🌸🐿🌾🟩🌷

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  Год назад

      OK

    • @patriciasaldanha7243
      @patriciasaldanha7243 Год назад

      @JonathonAslay it does happen you know the bomb scare- must be careful with everything that's going on in the world 💮

  • @susanharrie3326
    @susanharrie3326 Год назад