hairline wont solve his problems ,im pretty sure he would choose to be bald and his problems to be fixed than choosing his current life. theres more important things in life than a haircut
I love how many people are highlighting this in his comments. I’ve been SO SICK of ‘youtubers’ for years now. This is the kind of content I miss from my childhood. Down to earth, genuine and human
backupaccount - the reason it feels that way to you is he did not grow up in childhood seeing this kind of thing - authentic or not. It’s very unprecedented what younger people have grown up with. just a generation before them, they grew up similarly with the past 50 years, and before that another 40 or so since major change (automobiles). But no change has been like the internet. Ever. we older types are worried about you all
Keep your chin up, you are a good man and your honesty is a good quality. Wish the best for you and your family, its good they have you on their side to plan for their future.
@@askjapan9669 Keep posting youtube videos. You'll be surprised just how much money you can make with even just 30-40k subscribers. You can lower that 28 year mortgage to even under 22 years by paying the principal with the money from youtube. You can start making videos about your life like how you started your career, your college experience, your experience in your youth, how you met your wife, and so on! Keep it simple and about yourself and you'll gain massive amounts of subscribers and increase your revenue. Also, never take on more debt. You feel like you need a car? don't get that car. Just don't.
@@askjapan9669Hello, my dad also had me when he was 46. I never felt discomfortable about this, we always had good relationships. Now I’m 21 and my dad is still alive and healthy.
As a foreigner who lived over 10 years in Japan, I have never heard a Japanese man open up about something like this. Thank you for being brave and sharing this! これは本当に素晴らしい話しいです。
@@askjapan9669 to piggy back on this, I have a profound amount of respect for you. For not only thinking and being considerate about this, but opening up and sharing it. I'm sure it not only helped you to get it out, but its definitely going to help a lot of people seeing it and knowing they're not alone, and giving them a better sense of how to cope and deal with issues like this.
Same brother same.. I think everybody is worrying waaaay too much nowadays. Idk if it has something to do with social media but it's definitely increasing.
@@arcdestroyed Weeell.. You should.. The economy is fucking you younger people up big time. Debt is highly and constantly increasing. You have to work more and more, AND the purchasing power of money is constantly falling.. Its straight up a ponzi scheme.
11 years ago, when I was 8, like your son, my father was 52. He drinked so much, so my mother had to support me and my 3 years old brother alone. You're grate father and you can be proud of yourself. Hello from Russia.
I'm 28 year old woman from Russia as well and my father was 45 when I was born. He is still working but only because his job doesn't require much energy and is kinda chill. But still the main provider for our family was my mom, not because dad was older or had any bad habits, but because he lacks initiative (he only had two jobs during all his life, the first one he had been doing for 30 years, the current one he has been doing for 15). mum had to be more flexible in order to make more money, she switched career paths.
Your English is really good, so don't take this the wrong way. Instead of "drinked", you should say "drank". Also, instead of "You're grate father", it should be "You're a great father". I'm learning German and always appreciate when people show me how to improve, hopefully this helps :)
omg, hello from Russia too. I’m 19, my father was 57 when he died from covid (I was 17), my mother is fighting cancer and she is still working on a job thatshe hates because she has a mortgage to pay as well. She feels like she is in a dead end too( no job opportunities because she is too old (she is 53 and she works in IT, and she can’t change her work place to a better one cuz she gets rejected because of her pre-retirement age). I am working and studying, and feeling like I have no prospects in life because I am not interested in my studies, I am not that experienced to get a better job rn, the only thing that makes me happy is my small stationery business that doesn’t bring a lot of money. Thanks God I have a small flat (inherited it from my father) and I am studying in uni for free. Otherwise my mother would be x100 more stressed paying for my uni..
Thank you for being brave enough to post this. I struggle with anxiety and worrying about the future and reading this comment section restored my faith in humanity. The outpouring of love and support and advice from people around the world is inspiring. Sending peace, love, positivity, and good energy your way ❤
So to summarize you feel stressed because: Age: - You're 50 - Your children are very young for a 50 year old father - Your mother isn't doing well and is getting older - Your brother has a lot of stress taking care of your mother - Your mother and father in-law are a bit younger, but live far away and could need help as well in the next few years Financial: - You have a mortgage which you'll need to pay for 28 more years - You have a slightly above average salary - You feel stuck in a dead-end job - You feel there are no opportunities for you to find a different job because of your resume not being good enough Well, these are some very valid struggles. If you want to improve your life, then I think you must first look at this list and think 'What can I do nothing about?' and remove those from the list. For example, the new list which you CAN likely do something about, would be this: New list: - Your brother has a lot of stress taking care of your mother - Your mother and father in-law are a bit younger, but live far away and could need help as well in the next few years Financial: - You have a mortgage which you'll need to pay for 28 more years - You have a slightly above average salary - You feel stuck in a dead-end job - You feel there are no opportunities for you to find a different job because of your resume not being good enough Now these remaining points are something you can actively work towards improving. For example the 28 year mortgage, if every year you make one more payment (so instead of 12 months, you pay for 13 months) you'll notice the mortgage goes from 28 years to roughly 23 years. Now this would all depend on your finances and whether you CAN do this or not. I genuinely think you have a lot more opportunities than you might imagine, just make a list of what you want to improve and then one by one make a plan on HOW to improve them.
@@whitecraft1012 This is good advice, focus on what you CAN fix. What else are you going to tell him about things he can't do anything about? Feel good? This is good advice.
(Probably somewhat obvious) But I would just really stress personal health and good fitness habits if you’re having children near that age. My parents had me in their early 40’s and my younger brother near mid 40’s. They both liked activity but never had a routine, my dad especially but he had a natural high metabolism. My mom’s health started declining into her 50’s especially. She passed away due to cancer (not related to having children) a few years ago. Now I’m 26 and my father is 67, he’s doing okay but I just worry that he doesn’t stress his health enough. I notice he put on quite a bit of weight since this past year roughly, partly due to him not stressing a decade or so earlier as much on healthier eating habits, he’s very much prone to binge eating. He’s aware but I think partially he’s very critical of himself and then he lets that pity drive him back to this nasty habit. The effect this has only escalated with age and I hope he can be involved actively when he has grandchildren. We live together thankfully and I want to improve how we support one another in our faults. We haven’t given up on this yet. Please take care of your health sir, it’s a great gift not only to yourself but also to those who love you most
Dad was 51 when I was born and now i'm 24, almost a doctor too. He's a great father and I could have never wished for anything different than that. Don't worry about your age, you still have a lot of time to be a great parent and a very important figure in your children's lives.
I’m from the Philippines and I work as an English tutor online. You speak really good English! I love my Japanese students. They’re very kind. I’m almost 25 and I have a lot of worries in life too.. But I just have faith in God that it will be alright. Sending my prayers for you!❤😊
Why do you use the word confession? As if being honest about your concerns or feelings is a crime? Genuine question; no malice behind it. Am I reading too much into it?
Your country is undergoing a housing market collapse. You can probably buy a very nice house in the country with a fraction of your savings. Find a remote job, buy a house in the country, plant a garden with your kids.
Don't plan on living in your current home until your mortgage is paid off in 28 years. Your son will be 36, and your daughter 32 by that time. They should be more independent well before that point in time and no longer living at home. Downsize to a cheaper home. Sell your current home once your kids move out, pay off the remaining mortgage amount, and buy a new home (with no mortgage) with the net proceeds. Consider living outside of the metro area since you may not be working at that point. Housing is much cheaper outside of the metro area and you will not have to worry about being close to where your job is located since you will hopefully be retired.
Solid advice ,the old traditional Japanese house can be bought for 20 K in rural Japan ...no point to pay a mortgage until 75 ,I rather retire at 65 and live in the country ,stress free in the nature
You don't count of kids leaving home at that age either. The way economy is working these days , kids are turning back to Parents house after lay off coz they can't afford rent and stuff. High cost of living.
Are there hospitals and health centers in the rural areas? When people get older they might need to be closecto hospitals in case of some health issues.
For some reason I got recommended this video and I after the first 10 seconds I knew I had to watch it. The honesty is so refreshing. You don’t need to protect your house; you just need to protect your kindness. Practical advice? Imagine the absolute worst that could happen, and practice being okay with that. All the best from Australia! You’re awesome, dude!
Hello , I am Asian , 40+ just unemployed, lost ,upset , Here I found this video and more on other people aronud the world.I read the comments. Making me feel better and still want to live my life again because I am not alone.I think this problem we all will face someday.Thank you to bring me here and all comments in other countries around.I want to live more years again.
"And this cloud darkening my skies has not come to stay, it has come only to pass" - Some Wise Guy (YT 2024) Sending you love and good luck from the UK bro
You got this man! Be aware many people feel just like you right now. Be aware many people feel just like you right now. And destiny will take you to where you need to be just as it took you here.
I am a bit older than you and trust me I have been there. Just always remind yourself -- be brave! Go out there and embrace changes. You will live a much happier life.
You can do it bro i work from home and im dragging myself to work everyday doesnt make a difference if its work from home or office i still feel stressed, im on sales department and we need to bagged in sales everyday
My dad had the exact same situation. He was 46 when i was born. We were able to push through 16 years, his mother died. (I’m 16 years old now.) I have an older sister who is 2 years older than me, she is going to college later this year. My mother’s parents depend on my parents. My parents seem to be struggling financially, but they are able to provide for my sister, myself, and my mother’s parents. I’m sure you will be able to do something similar.
This video was very meaningful for me to watch. Thank you for posting it and allowing yourself to feel vulnerable - too many other men are terrified of doing so.
I'm a 50 years old Korean man. Your whiteboard summary resonates me deeply since those figures and factors are always in my mind as well. I work as a middle level employee and with not much hope to grow in my career and also in general. Life for middle age men aren't looking bright in any measure. Nothing seems to make my heart pound anymore. I envy your courage to post your inner thought to the outside world and seeking help actively.
I'm just a few years younger, italian. I get bored easily by almost anything, i've always been like that. So i have a job that brings me to meet many different people in many different companies. I wouldn't be able to work in the same place for long. I tried to but i got depressed very soon. I'm always in search for something that makes me excited. I have plenty of hobbies (cycling, model making, videogaming, reading, investing, travelling, playing guitar). When i get bored by one i start a new one to feel excitment. I also would feel bored living in a big city. For me it's important to go out, go to some park, go to some cultural attraction close to me, take some sun when the weather is good.
Hey brother, thanks for sharing. I can’t give you any advice that wasn’t already mentioned somewhere in these comments. I hope your worries turn into bygone memories. Cheers
Thank you for sharing. Try not to worry and do your best. Focus on your kids, keep doing your best at work, and don't forget to enjoy life with your family! Enjoy the small things. Everything will work out. Your kids will be proud of you.
I am American woman 75, so you are young enough to be my son. Allow me to make a few comments. I would still be working but got pushed out at my company, which was ok because my eyesight started failing. I mention this to assure you that working another 20 odd years might seem daunting but it will probably flash by. The main thing is keeping a good mental state. When I was younger I worried incessantly, now I feel like I wasted vital energy doing so. First, I understand your desire to be responsible for family which I think is deeply ingrained in Japanese culture and in some may even be a more powerful impetus. But - others can and will step into their own responsibility also. It doesn't really matter that you might be older than other fathers. At another place you might be younger than. In 20 years both your children will be grown and with honest discussion at home they will understand they need to step up. You are the center of all your family but at the same time the world can move along without us. I would make a suggestion that you might find something you like doing and make an at home business out of it. Think globally because the rest of the market is doing just that. The borders to commerce have shifted. I wish for you some peace from too much worry and to look for hope because there exist many possibilities.
What you say about where he is something that I’ve read from a lot of other people. I do it myself. The older I get the more I realize some of the things I worried about were pathetic. Most of them actually.
You’re a good man that cares for his family and that already puts you above many people. We tend to look at our worst problems instead of looking at what we have, it’s ok to be stressed, I’m in my 30s and have been feeling like I should have kids and a house by now, I already have grey hairs and wish I could look as young as you at 50. it may seem strange to you but some people would trade their youth to have children, good health, and a house they could work towards paying off like you. Many people here in the west know that Japanese culture can put a lot of pressure on people to be successful and live to the highest means, but please know that you are doing so well and you have already become something more than most could ever wish to become. Sending prayers your way today and hoping you can find peace with the amazing life you have, your children will be so proud one day to watch this video.
This is what people forget, especially people who truly worry about their futures. Because they worry, they tend to take really thoughtful steps and are doing far better than those that don't worry or don't care. But it's hard to see that sometimes, and it's good to have someone remind you of what you have and just how lucky you are.
This video captivated me more than anything I've watched for a long time. I am a young person living on the other side of the world without a family to support, but I really relate to the worries about the future and career. Thank you for sharing! I wish I had good ideas to share about what to do.
I'm a 55 year old fellow, living in South Africa, no children, not married, no steady income. Very difficult life looking after family and unable to work due to mental ill health caused by trauma. No savings, a bond and small apartment mortgage. Have been worrying too as i have no family support and my health is not the greatest. Have been chatting with friends in similar circumstances about living in a commune together. I think sharing with and caring for each other will make a better life than trying to do it alone. Just have to be with the right people who are honest and happy.
It's difficult to advise. I will be 57 this year and live in Switzerland. We have no children. My wife is a few years older and I am taking early retirement next year. Almost all differences, except age. I think the pension systems and real estate market are also completely different with Japan. Still, I think that certain phases are recognizable. At fifty, everyone has experienced personal highlights and crises. Responsible for the young ones and the old ones. My parents were also a bit older and both died at 80 and 85 a few years ago in 2009 / 2020. My parents-in-law also became very old at some point. When they were in their mid-eighties, we decided to sell our apartment and live in my parents-in-law's parental home and care for them. We did that for 7 years, until they both died, both at the age of 93. Happy years for them, since they could remain in the house the lived for over 60 years. Just a few ideas from my side as I read this back. 1) If the house is a millstone around the neck, are there options to sell it and live cheaper and use the surplus value to minimize housing costs? Maybe also with your in-laws? They can look after the children, you and your wife can work to save a buffer. Financing a home together is always easier. 2) Are there career opportunities at another company? The advantage of more and more elderly people and fewer young people is actually that there are more opportunities on the labor market, due to the drying up of the working population. 3) Your wife can work when the children are older to accelerate the repayment. 4) Realize what you have now: a wife, two wonderful children who love you, a good job and your health. Enjoy the now, what you have now. Live a little more carefree. Look forward to your children growing up, that is also a great gift! With time a solution will be found. Try not to worry about things that don't directly threaten you, but over which you have no influence either. Enjoy small things too. A walk through the park after a fresh rain shower. Nice music, or a spontaneous good conversation with someone you don't know. Taking care of our in-laws was tough, but looking back, it was also very enriching. I did not want to miss it! Things will happen automaticly also solutions will arrive on the horizon at a certain point in time. Kind regards and take care, Ronald.
I’m 47 in Nevada, house won’t be paid off for 24 more years. I HATE my job. My 401k is underfunded. I also have a parent to take care of. The stress and hopelessness is real. I take comfort in art and God. Sending love from the States ❤
@@hpartidad I’m hoping Bitcoin comes through and helps me out by my 30s. I’m 24 now and I started buying a lot more of it, especially when it dipped to $57K recently. I only have around $360~ in it as of right now though..
@@InfiniteTonygoing to need to invest a lot more than $360 to save you my guy. To put into perspective btc has a market cap of ~ $1.3T Btc is basically digital gold. Gold has a market cap of ~ $15T Let’s say in 10 years btc’s market cap goes up to $15T Your $360 would turn into ~ $4,150 which is a nice gain but not exactly life changing. If you want life changing gains you’ll have to invest in alt coins with much smaller market caps.
I'm afraid to say that I'm not in a position where I can give useful advice, however you come across respectable, soothing, and intelligent. I'm subscribing!
Well congratulations, you have done something great here. Being so open and sharing a window into your life that is so relatable to so many, its great! I hope your channel will go a long way to improving your finances and hope for the future! The obstacle was indeed the path. 👍👍
I'm a 29 year old man from New Zealand, I'm sitting in my office at work watching this video and everything you say hits home. I think that no matter who you are, where you live or what your circumstances are, unless you're lucky enough to be born into extreme wealth we all worry about our future. My mind is constantly filled with 'What Ifs' I don't know what the answers are, except to keep living and pushing forward, trying to have fun and make the most of this weird journey we call life. You're not alone though man, sending you all my love and support. You've got a new subscriber.
@@ronandesouza151 This is so sad, maybe my words will support you, I was born in Russia, my country attacked another country, I can be mobilized for war at any moment, I don't have the opportunity to leave the country yet, I'm working on it, maybe I won't have time and men will be blocked from leaving the country. I do not know what kind of future awaits me, I live one day, remembering the past 7-10 years ago, I dreamed of moving to New Zealand or Australia, no matter how hard it was for you, but you are in the position that many people dream of, I am sure that everything will be fine with you.
I'm 51 years old living in Japan in Hokkaido. Understand your worries and mine are similar. Thank you for you videos about real life. RUclips needs more of those. The only advice I have for you is to keep being yourself and care for you family. Then everything will turn out well.
@@askjapan9669 just try to be happy with what you have and don’t worry about what you don’t. I see all your points on your white board as all positive. You have many years left of life to love. You have two children. You have great work experience. You have a job. Your parent/parents are still living. You own a home. You have a degree/degrees. Tomorrow is a gift, enjoy today.
Real. Raw. Refreshing. I do not have advice for you, but I thank you for making this video. I am fascinated by Japan and I hope to visit your country some day. All the best, take care.
Hey man. I’m 34 and I’m blessed to still have my father who’s 76. He had me when he was 42 years old and I never realized how much of a blessing it was to have an older parent but I know now that I learned all the old, respectable ways of doing things and I’m very grateful to have my dad even though he was never one of the “younger” “cooler” dads. I love my dad just the way he is and he did all he could to give me and my sister, three years my junior, a better life. We became successful and now help our parents out whenever we can and we don’t mind. One day, they will worry about you. Truthfully, my greatest fear is that I will lose my parents and never got to actually spend enough time with them, especially now that I have my own family to provide for. They will see you’re a great man for caring for them and they will care for you one day. Be well 🇺🇸🇯🇵
Resonates with me, hated my occupation quit 12 years ago at age 49. Started a business but it didn’t take off so closed it down without a loss and bought a small service industry business which is great. Now financially independent when I sell the business I will have sufficient funds to live very well with no debts. Good luck my friend!
How did you handle the anxiety of quitting a stable occupation? I’m 47 and want to quit but I’m Terrified of failure. I don’t even want to start my own business. I just want to find a way to be happy.
@@GrayWithMe I didn’t have any anxiety because I was so desperately unhappy I couldn’t wait to leave and open a whole new chapter of my life, I viewed it as an opportunity not a challenge?
@@GrayWithMeI suggest working a part time job on the weekends for stable income, depending on the business you start, you can even continue working full time, it'll just be immensely stressful on your body and psyche so don't do it for long
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, worries and anxiety with us and going into detail about your life sir. The winds change but the mountain always persist! Keep going strong, believe in yourself!
Very interesting. I’m 62. My advice is to try to not worry. Looking back, most of the things I worried about never came to pass. My worries were a complete waste and they diminished my enjoyment of life.
True, but easier said than done. I have found grace in mindfulness, which can help you catch yourself when you start spiraling. The important thing is to continue to work on what you value in spite of whatever life throws at you.
He didnt ask "how can i feel better" , he asked for advice on what actions to take. He isnt depressed, he has legitimate concerns about his financials, his parents, and his children
take it how you will, but this comment sorta misses the point completely of what the video was. telling someone to not worry when there are -actual- concerns to be worried about and that "things will resolve on their own/won't really happen" is a very, very privileged response.
@@82zerox there are levels, and Japan due to profligate gov. spending, citizens are sinking in sand....It's quite clear in my mind about the structure of the economy and how it affects normies. Now , sit down little man.
Askjpan-san, I understand your feeling. I am in a similar situation with both parents from my wife's side and my side rapidly aging. Best of luck to you!!
I am really grateful to find this video. The kids playing in next room while the father thinks about such things awakens something inside me. Thank you, sir.
I’m Chinese American and have tons of friends who married late and have kindergarten kids in their late 40s. I’m turning 50 soon and recently quit my job for a much less paying job so I can be more relaxed. I still have mortgage to pay but still I’m happy and never worry about the future. I believe taking care of my mental health is as important as taking care of my physical health. Seriously just chill 😂 BTW I’m surprised a Japanese man opens up publicly about his “true” feelings. Our Chinese culture is more open and straightforward but I feel Japan and Korea are not especially Japan. I think there should have more ppl like you. Cheers😊
@@askjapan9669yes, please keep posting videos. You were so opened to explain your situation. As I understand is not common for Japanese to share their concerns like that. This tells me that you could show us more about your life, likes, teach us about marketing in Japan. This could be like a hobby for you and help you giving a new hope for you.
I’m 22 and watching this video gives me, weirdly enough, a sense of hope. The majority of my generation is quite fixated on having their lives all figured out by their mid 20s/30s which is quite ridiculous. So seeing you sharing your life and current situation with us and genuinely making an attempt to make meaningful changes is encouraging to say the least. Regrettably, I don’t have any advice to give since I don’t have much experience to look back upon. However, please keep making videos and sharing your journey with the internet. People appreciate it and I’m sure your interactions with your viewers will give you an insight or a better perspective on your situation. がんばって!
I'm in the same position same exact age too. The pressure I'm feeling to not be a burden to my family and start paying some bills and buying a car that doesn't drive slower than a bike is all immense. Especially so in the modern age where everything, making friends, finding love, doing hobbies, not overworking myself, staying focused, is all harder.
Also 22 here lol, but I feel something different from you. This video makes me realize I could wake up in 30 years and still don’t have my life figured out. I need to do something about it now.
My thoughts exactly @82zerox As soon as you said your age I said out loud "he looks fantastic!" Your English is also fantastic 👌 Solution: buy Bitcoin with your savings which is a fantastic long term store of value and absolutely beats fiat currencies as a store of value. Look into it, all the best
My suggestion at 50 - Put as much as you can into retirement, more than you think you need. Income earning capability will taper off over time so you want to get the balance as high as possible while still making good money.
I'm an American man who is 51, and I understand your worries. While I don't have a family of my own, I often think about how I can better my position. I think we all do. I wish I could offer you an answer, as I can see this is weighing heavily on your mind. I can tell you this. In the 15 minutes I was able to know you, you are very sincere, very caring, are a good provider to your family, and very brave by posting your concerns on a public platform. And your English is excellent too!! Even though you may not remember certain phrases, you are articulate and still get the idea across. I wish I could speak Japanese half as good as you speak English! I guess what I'm trying to say is: you are already doing A GREAT JOB at things. You have two beautiful children. You are successful enough to manage a team of people (something I've never done!). We all worry about the future. But if you look to your past and what you've accomplished, I don't think you need to worry about the future at all. You are capable and will find your way. あなたはとても良い人です、あなたが平和になることを願っています。
@@CampingComrade. dying alone and childless sounds miserable lol. The OP is a good man and gave life to two people who will carry his genes after he's gone.
Just turned 26 today. Woke up wide awake realising I feel so far behind in my life and I'm almost 30, the timelines in my head just don't seem plausable. I would probably never admit this to anyone but since you have been so brutally honest and the comments are the same, I should be brave enough to do the same. Thanks.
Same man, turning 30 in 2 months, been clean off opiates for about a year. All my friends have kids or careers or both. I learned a trade and am very good at it but am burt out on the industry. Trying to start in a new field has been very difficult.
Hey man. Remember that anytime you feel this sensation, it is your ego talking. What I mean by that is you are making a comparison to others to arrive to that conclusion. Any time that happens, it is our ego speaking. If you were alone on this planet, there would be no "late". There would just be doing. The same actually remains true even with 8 billion of us, it's something to really consider. If something is worth doing, it's worth doing "late". Because there is no late, there's just the path that we are on, and it's different for all Tolkien didn't write Lord of the Rings until his 50s. Was he late?
I'm 27 and had been feeling that way the past few years, stuck in dead end jobs just trying to get by, even with the good things in my life like my gf and dog you tend to take those for granted and fixate on the bad, anyway I've gotten a place in a school after summer to learn a trade and I'm feeling a bit more hopeful now. We're all on our own journeys and have our own struggles and it can be so easy to compare to others but it's really the least helpful thing you can do for yourself. Be kind to your body try to eat a balanced diet and if you're stuck in a job you hate try applying for schooling in something you want to do would be my best advice :)
@@nathonso_edits Hey man, as someone who was in your position and the same age and "turned it around" from dead end jobs to being self employed and financially free ($1m+ a year). My advice is to love yourself and be kind to yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others. You'll be surprised how a lot of the shit we worry about or stress about that doesnt make us feel "enough" is just our own perceptions. Look at the positive and youll see just how lucky you are. You are doing alright, all will be well my friend
27 year old german here. I have similar kind of worries on my mind. Unfortunately i do not have an idea or a solution. But i want to say, its very brave of you to speak about this topic publicly. It is very interesting and i will follow your story as it develops from now on. Stay positive my friend !
I think worrying about the future is a waste of the time you have now. Go enjoy life, maybe go camping go for a walk in nature. Cities suck the life out of me personally.
Fabian, mir geht es oft genau so, vielen in meinem Umfeld geht es genau so. Wir leben in einer sehr bewegten Zeit und das wichtigste ist wahrscheinlich, dass wir nach vorn schauen, dankbar sind, für das was wir haben und uns darum kümmern, worauf wir Einfluss haben. Auf unsere Familie, Freunde und uns selbst. Die 20-er Jahre sind echt ne komische Zeit, weil so viele zukunftsweisende Entscheidungen anstehen und das kann echt überfordernd sein. Ich habe große Zuversicht, dass sich viele Dinge ergeben werden und es ist doch auch schön noch nicht zu wissen, was in 5-10 Jahren sein wird, dass das Leben fließen kann und von niemandem vorbestimmt ist. Wir werden unseren Weg finden. Grüße an dich, Fabian.
Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m 50 this year and my kids are around the same age as yours. I can relate to everything you say and would just like to thank you. Such a great guy. If you ever go to England be good to grab a beer 🍻
This is the greatest RUclips content I have ever seen. So compelling and relatable; equally as challenging for him as it is for us. He doesn't have the answers, but most of us don't either. We just live and struggle with doing what's best. We know things could be better, like getting a promotion, but we fear shaking things up because the attempt may backfire and unsettle our situation. I don't have the answers for you, but it seems like there's a lot of great advice in the comments. My thoughts and hopes are with you and your family. God bless you all 🙏🏻
Take it from me, I'm 23 years old. My brother's 24 and we live with our 52 year old mother in Switzerland. All our lives we lived with crippling debt, but each one of us takes the burdena step at the time. I personally work about 50 hours a week, shit pay. On nightshift with horrible conditions. It took me 2 years to pay my debt off. As soon as my brother passes, and earns his certificate at the business school he attends. It's his turn. Carrying my burden, I nearly relapsed to my old addictions that kept pestering me at times of anger and despair. Due to my dilligence, patience and hope. I got to be where I am now, finally ready to take the next step. Mister, don't lose hope. If you value yourself more than anything else, you become able to make other things and other people feel valuable. Keep going, soldier.
@ivok9846 it's expectable that a 50 year wants and needs to live a more comfortable life. and the days of grinding for years will be left behind for a 20 something but will be pretty much the end of a healthy, independent life for a 50 years old. I don't want to discredit the hardships original commentor has gone through though
Well -- I'm sure you'll get lots of advice, much of it well meaning, some not. But here is my perspective, as a 77 year old man. What I hear in you, is a lot or worry about the "future." Can you control the future? No. You can't even predict what will happen tomorrow. None of us can. Do these worries affect your ability to enjoy the moment, to fully embrace the present? I suspect they do. If you paint dark pictures about the future, what good does that do? Does it improve your present? No. Will it pave the way to a "better" future? No. Worry becomes habitual. It becomes a way of life. I'd suggest that you participate in some spiritual practice which grounds you in the present, and breaks the chain of worry. Your culture has a rich spiritual tradition. So does mine. Even if you have no religious affiliation, allow yourself to enjoy all those little things in daily life which are gifts. A grasshopper landing on a leaf. The wind in the trees. A line in a poem. The laughter of your children. The sound of rain on the roof. The tenderness you share with your wife. These things are what life is really all about. Not career. Not a basket of worries about a future you can't control. Not all that dark picture painting. Live fully today. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Worry solves nothing, helps nothing. Worry about the future, robs you of the present.
That’s an amazing advice, although, it’s easier said than done, especially for us who had built a habit of worrying. In my work, I have a pressure to perform and be sharp. And that pressure prevents me from enjoying small things in life, because it feels to me that I always need to think about work in order to stay ahead and not get fired /:
This is such a good video. Thank you for sharing your concerns, it helped me understand that there are many people who are suffering or facing similar challenges. I am just 23 years old, not married and therefore, I do not have all the problems and concerns that you stated in your video. But, my parents are also getting old and so, I always find myself thinking about ways to be ready if any adverse medical situation arises. Coming back to the title, I am still young and I have just started working, there are so many things that I have not experienced or learned yet. If I had that experience, I would have certainly wanted to help. But, at the moment, this video helped me instead. I hope your concerns get sorted with time.
I hope that things get easier for you with time. I found this video and thought it was very vulnerable and appreciate that. Try to stay strong, I believe in you. This is not advice but just a little hope from a stranger to you.
I‘m 59 going in my 60th. This is what I’ve learned. I’m not wiser just because but life taught me… When I found time to think and worry, I found out that I‘m one of the lucky people to have the time to do so. In the past I’ve worked to my limit that I was exhausted that didn’t leave me to even think. Secondly, all those worry, I pondered like you made me feel worse and most of them didn’t end up that way and the rest of those worry concerns I had were managed as I moved along with life. Some tough moments, some stressful but I was able to get through. Third, when quiet moments of the day were present, I’d grab it, fight for that moment as a gift to myself to recharge for the next battle. In German, „Kleine Inseln des Glücks“. Lastly, 90% of our life, we can’t control, only 10% of it. What we can only control is our attitude, our reaction, our approach to life as it presents itself for the day. Manage it step by step. Later on in life, you‘ll find yourself looking back at your age of 50 and say, I wish I could tell my 50 year old self… what is true today, is only valid today. It might not be true for me tomorrow, next month and in 5 years. In the end, being kind to ourselves in the midst of adversity is the helpful solution to battle and enjoy life at the same time. 🕊️🕊️ Real happiness is hidden in inner peace. When you find him there, let me know at @meetarlesa. Take care and good luck. You have a kindred soul and a kind heart. That‘s what matters, the universe will take care of the rest, you hang on and just hold on tight to take the ride. 🕊️🙋🏻♀️
You have two beautiful children, still speak to your brother, mother is still with us, an above average salary job and a house you can call a home. You have done very well with your life my friend! I congratulate you on your acheivements. You, unfortunaltely, are the correct person of the household to be tasked with worrying about the future of your family and yourself. Luckily for you, you are intelligent and strong minded, so you will get through this with grace. Your children will grow up fast, I hope you are able to spend time with them now before that happens! I love your video's, best of luck with your endeavours.
This is so real and full of raw emotions. The fact I'm 23 and worried about my future like crazy, its reassuring reading through comments and seeing people are also tryna to figure things out. I think ill never know what I'm doing and I hope if someone else reads this, just keep going and moving forward, its only over when you give up. Find a passion, follow it , trust it, and I'm sure itll be alright.
I'm 23 and my dad is 70. My dad has a pension and takes care of me. He buys me coffee and drives me to work (healthy for his age for sure). His mortgage still has 15 years. I went blind in one eye recently. I just got a 60k annual job and living at home until I get married.
@@DIARRHEA-PANICchoosing your partner based on their income is pathetic. If you’re that worried just get a prenup. Choose someone you love that loves you for yourself and not your money. Yeah, go ahead and marry someone based on their income and what they bring to the table, that’ll end well…
@@dragonsharker4793 I actually agree with them. My fiancé makes 90k and I make him spend money on me. I'm a believer that men only value you if they invest in you. The money I'm working for is for myself to save and put away. Because we really want to have kids, and I see it as unfair that I will be put at a disadvantage in the job market. There's nothing wrong with guarding yourself as a woman, because it's true that we get taken advantage of until a shiny new model comes along. Anyway, my fiancé comes from a more wealthy background than me. He'd survive without me. I do love him very much but we recently got into a fight, which he carried on for longer than was necessary (cruelly ignoring me when I expressed how sorry I was and that I wanted to communicate). I don't believe in unconditional love even though he really is a great guy (provider, masculine, sweet, caring, calm). I work in law so I see the majority of divorce cases be surprise divorces initiated by men (they are typically lower or lower middle class couples). But this is all besides the point. I think their point was that I'm going to presumably inherit a house and I make decent money for my age as a woman. Again, nothing wrong with being guarded.
@@dragonsharker4793eh yes and no you definitely shouldn’t choose someone based on their income but if you’re going to be with someone who doesn’t make as much you should work with them to find ways to increase their income single income isn’t enough to support a single person at least where I live so a single persons income can not support 2 people that’s just the math
I really appreciate the courage it took for you to share this. I am 69, and it would be very difficult for me to speak from the heart like this over RUclips. I enjoy my life but habitually compare myself with others, almost always coming up short. (By the way, your English is excellent.)
I completely understand the career issue too. Where it’s not necessarily an “issue,” like you’re not completely unhappy with what you’re doing, but you’re aware that the compensation simply isn’t enough. And yet, you’re also aware that your resume and the skillset you’ve built over the years aren’t suitable for any other option. It’s so mind boggling.
Thank you for sharing. You have so much going for you. Be grateful for your, health, family, and yes - the job. Perhaps change the way you look at your job, as a means to serve others/do good - vs than just a paycheck. I too was in a very familiar place w/my career - and was eventually let go last year at age 55. I had to remind myself, the job ultimately does not define a person, rather value is found in "being", more so than in doing. Focus on today and today's problems, tomorrow's problems will be here soon enough. Don't care that you're an older dad, trust me, there are father's older than you out there - fatherhood is not one-size fits all. You are likely much wiser than the 30yr olds, and your children will benefit greatly! Also lean lean on your faith.
My dearest sir... you inspire me with your honesty towards fear of all details of your life. I am Jeannie writing on my husband's name. In a few days, my husband turns 60 and then later in 2024 I will turn 60. We had a slow start to our time together with much time dedicated to immigration issues. We met late in life and have no children (sad). We will be working well into our retirement years .... your English is wonderful, your honesty will give you clever solutions to "building your beautiful garden" with your family. You will remain younger in attitude because of the young children around you. You will build your outside from people like me and around the world learning from you. You are amazing!
By the way.... I am writing you from Cincinnati/Florence Kentucky area of the United States. I prepare so many Japanese people to fly back to Japan from my CVG airport. I always wonder how life is all the time. How I can make a difference in their lives.... in your case you made a difference in mine.... remember you are not old.... you are like fine wine.... better with age.
Lots of good advice shared here but I wanted to share also the importance of inner peace that God can provide. Don’t hesitate to share with him what ever concerns you have. He hears you and can help. Don’t overthink it, he’s God and we can’t figure everything out about him. Otherwise he wouldn’t be God. He knows and sees a searching heart, so call out to him and give him a chance to help you out with guidance. May God bless you, brother
one of my favorite things on youtube is watching videos like these that initially look boring, but they're so real they're more fascinating than anything on tv thanks for the vids, you're not alone!
I think you are on the right track, you don't need to do anything different just keep doing what you are doing now. The world needs someone like you to open up and talk about their life experiences and how they feel about life on RUclips. From reading other people's comments here, there is definitely an audience for what you are doing right now. So keep making these videos, and I'm pretty sure your channel will blow up. I have just subscribed. What I love about this video: you are very honest, speak clearly, and you are talking about things a lot of people can relate to. In future videos you can talk about your experience in marketing, and sales, and what it is like being a parent in your 50s... the possibilities are endless. You are a very likable person so if you are persistent you will find success. One thing I know about Japanese people is that you guys are persistent and hard-working so I know you will find success. I wish you all the best!
My advice is keep up with these real conversations and moments on RUclips and hopefully your channel will grow and grow and create a wonderful income for you and your family. This video was so refreshing and honest. Thank you for sharing and good luck. I’ve subscribed. 😊😊
50 is not old. We live in an amazing age of medical innovations. So many ailments are being cured, and people are living longer and longer. 50, in 2024, is very young still. I’ve met people in their 70’s who were full of vigor and health and strength. You’re still so young. You can do anything.
Why you being so real😭 Im 40, married but no kids. My boss got fired recently by the company and I think I'm not far from that. And the economy was better several years ago and I had bought a rental property. Now things are not sustainable and I've just gotten rid of that and lost about $200k from that as we dont know how much longer we can last with each month we are paying more than we make and I see no light at the end of the tunnel yet. I know there are probably millions of people out there who face the same as me but I consider myself lucky, compare to those suffering at wars still. Bless you man, and your family, and whoever kind hearted person eho come across this video. Keep your head down and plow through those harsh moments 💪
I was exactly the same age as you when i got my first daughter. My second daughter 3 years later. Im lucky i got my kids the time i got them or else it would not be the daughters i have today. I can really relate to the feelings and concerns about life, parents, work etc when you reach 50. Figure out what is the most important thing in life for you and do the best you can. You will make it. Thank you for the video.
As a younger person this was incredibly insightful into the problems I will be facing at a different stage of life because I can’t quite imagine what problems I will face yet. Thank you so much for sharing, you will achieve your goals!
Such an interesting and real video, i am currently 18 so I can't offer much in terms of advice, but i will keep you and your advice in my thoughts moving forward. I always try to learn as much as i can from other peoples advice/mistakes.
I am more than 10 years older than you and worry about my future. All over the world, people are under a lot of stress. Your YT channel seems to be doing well and I hope it keeps growing so that it can represent a second source of income for you, perhaps enabling you to pay off your mortgage early. 💗💗
Thank you for your sheer honesty. I am a 17 year old guy from Australia and I very much appreciate how open you are, into your personal life, for our sake. Unfortunately, I am not very wise, but I wish you luck!
23 Year old guy from the US. Through videos like this and personal conversations I've come to realize that everybody is the same, no matter where in the world you are. The only change is the scenery
Damn, 17 was the age where everything started to completely change for me. Met my wife, was about to finish school and absolutely wrong about everything I thought about life. It hit me like a brick that all safeguards were taken away after finishing school. Nobody cares about you unless you actively do something about it, nothing moves forward unless you actively work towards it. The possibility of doing anything I want is empowering but also pressing. Now I lay the foundation for my later life. Until about 30 I can still change the direction at least moderately. But afterwards I will probably be so involved in everyday life, kids and work that the routine and maintaining my lifestyle will be the only focus in life. It's somewhat calming that we all go through the same experiences
Thank you for sharing your life experience. I love the honesty, very fascinating content. I think you are helping alot of people with this content 🙏🙏 I think your doing the best you can for your family. No one can ask for more than that. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you all the best for you and your family 🙏🙏.
My father’s situation is very similar to yours! He had me when he was 45 (and my mom was 37). I’m 17 years old now and he’s at the age for retirement, but he doesn’t plan on retiring anytime soon. (And we don’t know how old my grandmother is exactly, but I think she’s in her mid-80s.) I used to feel a little left out seeing that my friends’ parents (that were younger than mine) were able to play with them, but that feeling went away as I grew older. Plus, I still had my friends to play with so it wasn’t too bad. I do feel sad when I think of how old they’ll be once I finish college, but I just do my best to keep all of us healthy. Honestly, this really doesn’t parallel your situation perfectly, but I thought you’d appreciate my anecdote
This is a rare gem , it is so rare japanese people raise their concern , and it resonates with everyone even for myself to reflect now age 30. Its great to see honest open concern and seeking advise
Развлечения
![Eminem - Houdini [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/22tVWwmTie8/mqdefault.jpg)
One thing you don’t need to worry about is your hairline. It’s impeccable.
asians be fr lacking the 5-ar inhibitor 🗿
Even if your headline is receding, just be positive and think that it’s just your forehead is becoming magnificent.
Thank you so much for the comment 😂 @@nissy6495
Yes, great advice. That'll solve all the problems he listed.
hairline wont solve his problems ,im pretty sure he would choose to be bald and his problems to be fixed than choosing his current life. theres more important things in life than a haircut
This is what RUclips was made for.
So much more interesting than the 52844th podcaster talking about productivity or personal finance or whatever.
I love how many people are highlighting this in his comments. I’ve been SO SICK of ‘youtubers’ for years now. This is the kind of content I miss from my childhood. Down to earth, genuine and human
Right?
those kids never work in a real 9-5 corporation before. Their minds are stuck at college era where only theory, rainbow and glitter exist
Haha true, these podcasters with the ever repeating self-optimization topics really are nauseating by now
backupaccount - the reason it feels that way to you is he did not grow up in childhood seeing this kind of thing - authentic or not. It’s very unprecedented what younger people have grown up with. just a generation before them, they grew up similarly with the past 50 years, and before that another 40 or so since major change (automobiles). But no change has been like the internet. Ever. we older types are worried about you all
Keep your chin up, you are a good man and your honesty is a good quality. Wish the best for you and your family, its good they have you on their side to plan for their future.
Put your trust in Jesus He is the way and our savior
Thanks a lot. I don’t know how to thank you. I will buy something good for my kids.
@@askjapan9669 Keep posting youtube videos. You'll be surprised just how much money you can make with even just 30-40k subscribers. You can lower that 28 year mortgage to even under 22 years by paying the principal with the money from youtube. You can start making videos about your life like how you started your career, your college experience, your experience in your youth, how you met your wife, and so on! Keep it simple and about yourself and you'll gain massive amounts of subscribers and increase your revenue. Also, never take on more debt. You feel like you need a car? don't get that car. Just don't.
@@XlendneryGD Unless Jesus came and start spawning breads and wines, I'm not budging
@@XlendneryGD NO
My dad had me when he was 46. Don’t worry about your age. The amount of wisdom you can pass on to your kids is priceless
Same as my situation with my daughter.
@@askjapan9669Hello, my dad also had me when he was 46. I never felt discomfortable about this, we always had good relationships. Now I’m 21 and my dad is still alive and healthy.
As a foreigner who lived over 10 years in Japan, I have never heard a Japanese man open up about something like this. Thank you for being brave and sharing this! これは本当に素晴らしい話しいです。
Thanks for your comment
Same. actually i never more than 3 words from a japanese man.
Welcome
@@askjapan9669 to piggy back on this, I have a profound amount of respect for you. For not only thinking and being considerate about this, but opening up and sharing it. I'm sure it not only helped you to get it out, but its definitely going to help a lot of people seeing it and knowing they're not alone, and giving them a better sense of how to cope and deal with issues like this.
I agree♥️
I stumbled across this video as a 22 year old. Here I am stressing at this age, thanks for the eye opener.
Same brother same.. I think everybody is worrying waaaay too much nowadays. Idk if it has something to do with social media but it's definitely increasing.
@@arcdestroyed 24 years old. Been trying to get to the typical 10k/month for 5 years. Its all social media guys.
@@arcdestroyed Weeell.. You should.. The economy is fucking you younger people up big time. Debt is highly and constantly increasing. You have to work more and more, AND the purchasing power of money is constantly falling.. Its straight up a ponzi scheme.
22y ? You still got time
Same as 25/26 yo
11 years ago, when I was 8, like your son, my father was 52. He drinked so much, so my mother had to support me and my 3 years old brother alone. You're grate father and you can be proud of yourself. Hello from Russia.
hello from russia, братан. Вот мы и встретились... на ютубе... под видео японца
I'm 28 year old woman from Russia as well and my father was 45 when I was born. He is still working but only because his job doesn't require much energy and is kinda chill. But still the main provider for our family was my mom, not because dad was older or had any bad habits, but because he lacks initiative (he only had two jobs during all his life, the first one he had been doing for 30 years, the current one he has been doing for 15). mum had to be more flexible in order to make more money, she switched career paths.
Ну и с Казахстана привет тоже)
Your English is really good, so don't take this the wrong way. Instead of "drinked", you should say "drank". Also, instead of "You're grate father", it should be "You're a great father". I'm learning German and always appreciate when people show me how to improve, hopefully this helps :)
omg, hello from Russia too. I’m 19, my father was 57 when he died from covid (I was 17), my mother is fighting cancer and she is still working on a job thatshe hates because she has a mortgage to pay as well. She feels like she is in a dead end too( no job opportunities because she is too old (she is 53 and she works in IT, and she can’t change her work place to a better one cuz she gets rejected because of her pre-retirement age). I am working and studying, and feeling like I have no prospects in life because I am not interested in my studies, I am not that experienced to get a better job rn, the only thing that makes me happy is my small stationery business that doesn’t bring a lot of money. Thanks God I have a small flat (inherited it from my father) and I am studying in uni for free. Otherwise my mother would be x100 more stressed paying for my uni..
Thank you for being brave enough to post this. I struggle with anxiety and worrying about the future and reading this comment section restored my faith in humanity. The outpouring of love and support and advice from people around the world is inspiring. Sending peace, love, positivity, and good energy your way ❤
Thanks
So to summarize you feel stressed because:
Age:
- You're 50
- Your children are very young for a 50 year old father
- Your mother isn't doing well and is getting older
- Your brother has a lot of stress taking care of your mother
- Your mother and father in-law are a bit younger, but live far away and could need help as well in the next few years
Financial:
- You have a mortgage which you'll need to pay for 28 more years
- You have a slightly above average salary
- You feel stuck in a dead-end job
- You feel there are no opportunities for you to find a different job because of your resume not being good enough
Well, these are some very valid struggles. If you want to improve your life, then I think you must first look at this list and think 'What can I do nothing about?' and remove those from the list. For example, the new list which you CAN likely do something about, would be this:
New list:
- Your brother has a lot of stress taking care of your mother
- Your mother and father in-law are a bit younger, but live far away and could need help as well in the next few years
Financial:
- You have a mortgage which you'll need to pay for 28 more years
- You have a slightly above average salary
- You feel stuck in a dead-end job
- You feel there are no opportunities for you to find a different job because of your resume not being good enough
Now these remaining points are something you can actively work towards improving. For example the 28 year mortgage, if every year you make one more payment (so instead of 12 months, you pay for 13 months) you'll notice the mortgage goes from 28 years to roughly 23 years. Now this would all depend on your finances and whether you CAN do this or not.
I genuinely think you have a lot more opportunities than you might imagine, just make a list of what you want to improve and then one by one make a plan on HOW to improve them.
Very good breakdown and advice
He needs a real human advise, not just generic ChatGPT nonsense...
@@whitecraft1012 This is good advice, focus on what you CAN fix. What else are you going to tell him about things he can't do anything about? Feel good? This is good advice.
@@whitecraft1012 I wrote that my self.
@@scriptod91 Don't underestimate perception. Changing your attitude about things you can't change could save you from stress.
I was born when my dad was 46, it was no big deal. I’m 26 now. He’s a great dad.
Thanks for your comment
I’m 46 and my one and only child is 6 months old. I am doing my best to stay healthy and energetic.
(Probably somewhat obvious) But I would just really stress personal health and good fitness habits if you’re having children near that age.
My parents had me in their early 40’s and my younger brother near mid 40’s. They both liked activity but never had a routine, my dad especially but he had a natural high metabolism. My mom’s health started declining into her 50’s especially. She passed away due to cancer (not related to having children) a few years ago.
Now I’m 26 and my father is 67, he’s doing okay but I just worry that he doesn’t stress his health enough. I notice he put on quite a bit of weight since this past year roughly, partly due to him not stressing a decade or so earlier as much on healthier eating habits, he’s very much prone to binge eating. He’s aware but I think partially he’s very critical of himself and then he lets that pity drive him back to this nasty habit. The effect this has only escalated with age and I hope he can be involved actively when he has grandchildren. We live together thankfully and I want to improve how we support one another in our faults. We haven’t given up on this yet.
Please take care of your health sir, it’s a great gift not only to yourself but also to those who love you most
My dad was 47 and my mom 42 when they had me. No problem at all ✨
I was when my dad was 40 he is okay now
Dad was 51 when I was born and now i'm 24, almost a doctor too. He's a great father and I could have never wished for anything different than that. Don't worry about your age, you still have a lot of time to be a great parent and a very important figure in your children's lives.
I’m from the Philippines and I work as an English tutor online. You speak really good English! I love my Japanese students. They’re very kind.
I’m almost 25 and I have a lot of worries in life too.. But I just have faith in God that it will be alright. Sending my prayers for you!❤😊
I am Japanese. I was deeply impressed by your honest confession.
Why do you use the word confession? As if being honest about your concerns or feelings is a crime?
Genuine question; no malice behind it. Am I reading too much into it?
@@er4din903might be a cultural thing in Japan and seen as failure or something or you are reading too much into it not sure
@@er4din903 yeah confession isn’t the right word here. Hopefully they meant something else
Your country is undergoing a housing market collapse. You can probably buy a very nice house in the country with a fraction of your savings. Find a remote job, buy a house in the country, plant a garden with your kids.
@@er4din903yes you are... you can confess anything
Don't plan on living in your current home until your mortgage is paid off in 28 years. Your son will be 36, and your daughter 32 by that time. They should be more independent well before that point in time and no longer living at home. Downsize to a cheaper home. Sell your current home once your kids move out, pay off the remaining mortgage amount, and buy a new home (with no mortgage) with the net proceeds. Consider living outside of the metro area since you may not be working at that point. Housing is much cheaper outside of the metro area and you will not have to worry about being close to where your job is located since you will hopefully be retired.
Wow, thanks
Solid advice ,the old traditional Japanese house can be bought for 20 K in rural Japan ...no point to pay a mortgage until 75 ,I rather retire at 65 and live in the country ,stress free in the nature
You don't count of kids leaving home at that age either. The way economy is working these days , kids are turning back to Parents house after lay off coz they can't afford rent and stuff. High cost of living.
100%. You are not tied to that 28 years especially with the large amount of homes that will open themselves up in the next 10 years.
Are there hospitals and health centers in the rural areas? When people get older they might need to be closecto hospitals in case of some health issues.
My grandma graduated college in her late 60s. I share this to say you are never too old to make changes if you don’t like your reality.
For some reason I got recommended this video and I after the first 10 seconds I knew I had to watch it. The honesty is so refreshing. You don’t need to protect your house; you just need to protect your kindness. Practical advice? Imagine the absolute worst that could happen, and practice being okay with that. All the best from Australia! You’re awesome, dude!
I'm 52 man. I've got three kids, almost the same age as your kids. Let's take it one day at a time. 💪 God bless you and your family 🙏
Best advice!
Agreed.
42 year old here seconding this advice.
Just ignore the problem 😅
To add, keep improving the situation everyday, don't play the Russian roulette (take unnecessary risks) and leave rest to the destiny.
Hello , I am Asian , 40+ just unemployed, lost ,upset , Here I found this video and more on other people aronud the world.I read the comments. Making me feel better and still want to live my life again because I am not alone.I think this problem we all will face someday.Thank you to bring me here and all comments in other countries around.I want to live more years again.
"And this cloud darkening my skies has not come to stay, it has come only to pass" - Some Wise Guy (YT 2024)
Sending you love and good luck from the UK bro
You got this brother
You got this man! Be aware many people feel just like you right now. Be aware many people feel just like you right now. And destiny will take you to where you need to be just as it took you here.
I am a bit older than you and trust me I have been there. Just always remind yourself -- be brave! Go out there and embrace changes. You will live a much happier life.
You can do it bro i work from home and im dragging myself to work everyday doesnt make a difference if its work from home or office i still feel stressed, im on sales department and we need to bagged in sales everyday
My dad had the exact same situation. He was 46 when i was born. We were able to push through 16 years, his mother died. (I’m 16 years old now.) I have an older sister who is 2 years older than me, she is going to college later this year. My mother’s parents depend on my parents. My parents seem to be struggling financially, but they are able to provide for my sister, myself, and my mother’s parents. I’m sure you will be able to do something similar.
This video was very meaningful for me to watch. Thank you for posting it and allowing yourself to feel vulnerable - too many other men are terrified of doing so.
I'm a 50 years old Korean man. Your whiteboard summary resonates me deeply since those figures and factors are always in my mind as well. I work as a middle level employee and with not much hope to grow in my career and also in general. Life for middle age men aren't looking bright in any measure. Nothing seems to make my heart pound anymore.
I envy your courage to post your inner thought to the outside world and seeking help actively.
I'm just a few years younger, italian. I get bored easily by almost anything, i've always been like that. So i have a job that brings me to meet many different people in many different companies. I wouldn't be able to work in the same place for long. I tried to but i got depressed very soon.
I'm always in search for something that makes me excited. I have plenty of hobbies (cycling, model making, videogaming, reading, investing, travelling, playing guitar). When i get bored by one i start a new one to feel excitment.
I also would feel bored living in a big city. For me it's important to go out, go to some park, go to some cultural attraction close to me, take some sun when the weather is good.
I agree with both of you 😢
Even with a three bedroom home fully paid for, insurance in Florida has increased and property taxes increased so much we still feel the same.
Well said!
@@TheMafurimaybe the solution is to be tested and treated for ADHD?
Hey brother, thanks for sharing. I can’t give you any advice that wasn’t already mentioned somewhere in these comments. I hope your worries turn into bygone memories. Cheers
Thanks for yoru big offer. I don't know how to thank you. I will spend your offer to my kids.
I think that's 90 dollars well spent
@@speedymon4412 frr
@@askjapan9669 the man i look up to you sir love from new zealand
@@speedymon4412 euro
Thank you for sharing your invaluable perspective.
Thank you for sharing. Try not to worry and do your best. Focus on your kids, keep doing your best at work, and don't forget to enjoy life with your family! Enjoy the small things. Everything will work out. Your kids will be proud of you.
I am American woman 75, so you are young enough to be my son. Allow me to make a few comments. I would still be working but got pushed out at my company, which was ok because my eyesight started failing. I mention this to assure you that working another 20 odd years might seem daunting but it will probably flash by. The main thing is keeping a good mental state. When I was younger I worried incessantly, now I feel like I wasted vital energy doing so. First, I understand your desire to be responsible for family which I think is deeply ingrained in Japanese culture and in some may even be a more powerful impetus. But - others can and will step into their own responsibility also. It doesn't really matter that you might be older than other fathers. At another place you might be younger than. In 20 years both your children will be grown and with honest discussion at home they will understand they need to step up. You are the center of all your family but at the same time the world can move along without us. I would make a suggestion that you might find something you like doing and make an at home business out of it. Think globally because the rest of the market is doing just that. The borders to commerce have shifted. I wish for you some peace from too much worry and to look for hope because there exist many possibilities.
What you say about where he is something that I’ve read from a lot of other people. I do it myself. The older I get the more I realize some of the things I worried about were pathetic. Most of them actually.
Lovely, constructive comment!
excellent advice.
Beautifully said!
Thank you from my heart
You’re a good man that cares for his family and that already puts you above many people. We tend to look at our worst problems instead of looking at what we have, it’s ok to be stressed, I’m in my 30s and have been feeling like I should have kids and a house by now, I already have grey hairs and wish I could look as young as you at 50. it may seem strange to you but some people would trade their youth to have children, good health, and a house they could work towards paying off like you. Many people here in the west know that Japanese culture can put a lot of pressure on people to be successful and live to the highest means, but please know that you are doing so well and you have already become something more than most could ever wish to become. Sending prayers your way today and hoping you can find peace with the amazing life you have, your children will be so proud one day to watch this video.
Thanks a lot. I will buy something for my kids.
damn frost well said!
Damn that's it aye damn well spoken
This is what people forget, especially people who truly worry about their futures. Because they worry, they tend to take really thoughtful steps and are doing far better than those that don't worry or don't care. But it's hard to see that sometimes, and it's good to have someone remind you of what you have and just how lucky you are.
You should continue working at your current position until the day you can retire, @@askjapan9669. Realistically speaking.
thank you for being so honest and vulnerable as a middle age man, learned a lot from this. I watch you from the Dominican Republic in the Caribbean.
This video captivated me more than anything I've watched for a long time. I am a young person living on the other side of the world without a family to support, but I really relate to the worries about the future and career. Thank you for sharing! I wish I had good ideas to share about what to do.
This man is all of us. Thank you for sharing
No, most of us younger generations have no future to be worrying about.
@@edisonchin2463 yeah the older generation is losing what they had. We have nothing to gain or lose…. Just hopeless
Foreal
@@guwopp4725 dude we have more to look forward to than any other generation has. If your future is hopeless that's no one fault but your own
@@padarousou elaborate
I'm a 55 year old fellow, living in South Africa, no children, not married, no steady income. Very difficult life looking after family and unable to work due to mental ill health caused by trauma. No savings, a bond and small apartment mortgage. Have been worrying too as i have no family support and my health is not the greatest. Have been chatting with friends in similar circumstances about living in a commune together. I think sharing with and caring for each other will make a better life than trying to do it alone. Just have to be with the right people who are honest and happy.
Wow thanks. Life is difficult for many people. I will try to be healthy and that is all I can do
Yoooo you South African that’s crazy running into a South African in the comments
You white african? There are rumors that Europeans in South Africa are pursuing
Where are you in sa? Is it safe?
@@svetchannel2998 what do you mean? Sorry I don't understand.
Good on you for speaking out. It's a tough situation everywhere at the moment, but we are bringing it back 💪 Stay strong brother
This is the reality, this is the kind of content we need, thank you for the video, lots of interesting discussion in the comment section.
It's difficult to advise. I will be 57 this year and live in Switzerland. We have no children. My wife is a few years older and I am taking early retirement next year. Almost all differences, except age. I think the pension systems and real estate market are also completely different with Japan. Still, I think that certain phases are recognizable. At fifty, everyone has experienced personal highlights and crises. Responsible for the young ones and the old ones. My parents were also a bit older and both died at 80 and 85 a few years ago in 2009 / 2020. My parents-in-law also became very old at some point. When they were in their mid-eighties, we decided to sell our apartment and live in my parents-in-law's parental home and care for them. We did that for 7 years, until they both died, both at the age of 93. Happy years for them, since they could remain in the house the lived for over 60 years. Just a few ideas from my side as I read this back.
1) If the house is a millstone around the neck, are there options to sell it and live cheaper and use the surplus value to minimize housing costs? Maybe also with your in-laws? They can look after the children, you and your wife can work to save a buffer. Financing a home together is always easier.
2) Are there career opportunities at another company? The advantage of more and more elderly people and fewer young people is actually that there are more opportunities on the labor market, due to the drying up of the working population.
3) Your wife can work when the children are older to accelerate the repayment.
4) Realize what you have now: a wife, two wonderful children who love you, a good job and your health. Enjoy the now, what you have now. Live a little more carefree. Look forward to your children growing up, that is also a great gift! With time a solution will be found. Try not to worry about things that don't directly threaten you, but over which you have no influence either. Enjoy small things too. A walk through the park after a fresh rain shower. Nice music, or a spontaneous good conversation with someone you don't know.
Taking care of our in-laws was tough, but looking back, it was also very enriching. I did not want to miss it! Things will happen automaticly also solutions will arrive on the horizon at a certain point in time.
Kind regards and take care, Ronald.
thansk
@ronnie9187 Great points. But the 4th one, is the most important in my opinion ❤. You said it so well.
Thanks, thank you. Your advice also resonates for me ❤ ⁸⁵²⁴
Wise words
Great advice. Thanks for sharing.
I’m 47 in Nevada, house won’t be paid off for 24 more years. I HATE my job. My 401k is underfunded. I also have a parent to take care of. The stress and hopelessness is real. I take comfort in art and God. Sending love from the States ❤
What do you do?
Bitcoin is hope
@@hpartidad I’m hoping Bitcoin comes through and helps me out by my 30s. I’m 24 now and I started buying a lot more of it, especially when it dipped to $57K recently. I only have around $360~ in it as of right now though..
@@InfiniteTonygoing to need to invest a lot more than $360 to save you my guy. To put into perspective btc has a market cap of ~ $1.3T
Btc is basically digital gold.
Gold has a market cap of ~ $15T
Let’s say in 10 years btc’s market cap goes up to $15T
Your $360 would turn into ~ $4,150 which is a nice gain but not exactly life changing. If you want life changing gains you’ll have to invest in alt coins with much smaller market caps.
@@InfiniteTonyGet Solana instead if you have ~400 dollars of crypto
I'm afraid to say that I'm not in a position where I can give useful advice, however you come across respectable, soothing, and intelligent. I'm subscribing!
Well congratulations, you have done something great here. Being so open and sharing a window into your life that is so relatable to so many, its great! I hope your channel will go a long way to improving your finances and hope for the future! The obstacle was indeed the path. 👍👍
I'm a 29 year old man from New Zealand,
I'm sitting in my office at work watching this video and everything you say hits home.
I think that no matter who you are, where you live or what your circumstances are, unless you're lucky enough to be born into extreme wealth we all worry about our future. My mind is constantly filled with 'What Ifs'
I don't know what the answers are, except to keep living and pushing forward, trying to have fun and make the most of this weird journey we call life.
You're not alone though man, sending you all my love and support. You've got a new subscriber.
Where in NZ mate, I'm a 2 year graduate who can't even get a job with my field of sales/marketing. It sucks
Guys start an Internet Business, learn coding, read Books to escape the 9 to 5
I like what you called that "the most of this wired journey we call life"
@@ronandesouza151 This is so sad, maybe my words will support you, I was born in Russia, my country attacked another country, I can be mobilized for war at any moment, I don't have the opportunity to leave the country yet, I'm working on it, maybe I won't have time and men will be blocked from leaving the country. I do not know what kind of future awaits me, I live one day, remembering the past 7-10 years ago, I dreamed of moving to New Zealand or Australia, no matter how hard it was for you, but you are in the position that many people dream of, I am sure that everything will be fine with you.
I live in nz too mate where in nz do you lvie and what your field of work
I'm 51 years old living in Japan in Hokkaido. Understand your worries and mine are similar. Thank you for you videos about real life. RUclips needs more of those. The only advice I have for you is to keep being yourself and care for you family. Then everything will turn out well.
Wow
@@askjapan9669 just try to be happy with what you have and don’t worry about what you don’t. I see all your points on your white board as all positive. You have many years left of life to love. You have two children. You have great work experience. You have a job. Your parent/parents are still living. You own a home. You have a degree/degrees.
Tomorrow is a gift, enjoy today.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. Thats why its called the Present. From kung fu Panda
Real. Raw. Refreshing.
I do not have advice for you, but I thank you for making this video.
I am fascinated by Japan and I hope to visit your country some day.
All the best, take care.
I'm 16 right now, and this video is really insightful. thank you for making this video.
Hey man. I’m 34 and I’m blessed to still have my father who’s 76. He had me when he was 42 years old and I never realized how much of a blessing it was to have an older parent but I know now that I learned all the old, respectable ways of doing things and I’m very grateful to have my dad even though he was never one of the “younger” “cooler” dads. I love my dad just the way he is and he did all he could to give me and my sister, three years my junior, a better life. We became successful and now help our parents out whenever we can and we don’t mind. One day, they will worry about you. Truthfully, my greatest fear is that I will lose my parents and never got to actually spend enough time with them, especially now that I have my own family to provide for. They will see you’re a great man for caring for them and they will care for you one day. Be well 🇺🇸🇯🇵
Your father was same age as I had my son. I don't know how to overcome but thanks for your comment.
Your comment is about nothing.
@@mobilegamingtv4025 ok mr mobile gamer?
@@djuriushe is a gamer 😎
You right .We learin by reapeting and imitation. Children will treat us just as we treated our parents
Resonates with me, hated my occupation quit 12 years ago at age 49. Started a business but it didn’t take off so closed it down without a loss and bought a small service industry business which is great. Now financially independent when I sell the business I will have sufficient funds to live very well with no debts. Good luck my friend!
How did you handle the anxiety of quitting a stable occupation? I’m 47 and want to quit but I’m
Terrified of failure. I don’t even want to start my own business. I just want to find a way to be happy.
@@GrayWithMe I didn’t have any anxiety because I was so desperately unhappy I couldn’t wait to leave and open a whole new chapter of my life, I viewed it as an opportunity not a challenge?
Can you share the service industry is the nature of your business? Looking into getting into business
@@jannpsqlHi yes happy to share with you, a retail, service and wholesale business servicing domestic and commercial swimming pools.
@@GrayWithMeI suggest working a part time job on the weekends for stable income, depending on the business you start, you can even continue working full time, it'll just be immensely stressful on your body and psyche so don't do it for long
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, worries and anxiety with us and going into detail about your life sir. The winds change but the mountain always persist! Keep going strong, believe in yourself!
Thank you for posting this!
Very interesting. I’m 62. My advice is to try to not worry. Looking back, most of the things I worried about never came to pass. My worries were a complete waste and they diminished my enjoyment of life.
True, but easier said than done. I have found grace in mindfulness, which can help you catch yourself when you start spiraling. The important thing is to continue to work on what you value in spite of whatever life throws at you.
He didnt ask "how can i feel better" , he asked for advice on what actions to take. He isnt depressed, he has legitimate concerns about his financials, his parents, and his children
take it how you will, but this comment sorta misses the point completely of what the video was. telling someone to not worry when there are -actual- concerns to be worried about and that "things will resolve on their own/won't really happen" is a very, very privileged response.
Yes this is the truth, so many plans and stress for things that never happen, and looking back, had very little chance of actually happening.
@@huttserl I think you may have missed the point.
Your kids need you, sir.
Your fans need you to continue on as well.
You are doing excellent work.
True, thanks for your comment
@@askjapan9669 damn this is getting depressing, like a frog being boiled slowly.
@@giomusah2155this is what will happen to every man in the west, if it is not clear to you.
@@82zerox there are levels, and Japan due to profligate gov. spending, citizens are sinking in sand....It's quite clear in my mind about the structure of the economy and how it affects normies. Now , sit down little man.
Yes I agree
He is a considerate father and doing his best
Askjpan-san, I understand your feeling. I am in a similar situation with both parents from my wife's side and my side rapidly aging. Best of luck to you!!
Broadcast yourself…I love these natural kind of videos. No stupid scripts, no bad acting, just someone with a camera and something to say.
I am really grateful to find this video. The kids playing in next room while the father thinks about such things awakens something inside me. Thank you, sir.
This is life man, that's crazy
I’m Chinese American and have tons of friends who married late and have kindergarten kids in their late 40s. I’m turning 50 soon and recently quit my job for a much less paying job so I can be more relaxed. I still have mortgage to pay but still I’m happy and never worry about the future. I believe taking care of my mental health is as important as taking care of my physical health. Seriously just chill 😂 BTW I’m surprised a Japanese man opens up publicly about his “true” feelings. Our Chinese culture is more open and straightforward but I feel Japan and Korea are not especially Japan. I think there should have more ppl like you. Cheers😊
Love your comment. You got the right attitude!
You still have about 40 years to live young man😂
Thanks for sharing!👋
This is just Part of life my friend. Many of us have the same issues. Stay positive and don't give up.
Honestly just keep grinding on RUclips. You will gain a loyal audience by being genuine and providing relatable content.
Thanks for your comment. RUclips has been only my hope
@@askjapan9669 start a gofundme and keep posting about your situation
@@askjapan9669yes, please keep posting videos. You were so opened to explain your situation. As I understand is not common for Japanese to share their concerns like that.
This tells me that you could show us more about your life, likes, teach us about marketing in Japan. This could be like a hobby for you and help you giving a new hope for you.
I’m 22 and watching this video gives me, weirdly enough, a sense of hope.
The majority of my generation is quite fixated on having their lives all figured out by their mid 20s/30s which is quite ridiculous. So seeing you sharing your life and current situation with us and genuinely making an attempt to make meaningful changes is encouraging to say the least.
Regrettably, I don’t have any advice to give since I don’t have much experience to look back upon. However, please keep making videos and sharing your journey with the internet. People appreciate it and I’m sure your interactions with your viewers will give you an insight or a better perspective on your situation.
がんばって!
Yea this video woke me up. Respectfully i see as entrepreneurship as the only way out of situations like these.
I’m 22 as well, I felt oddly comforted by this video
I'm in the same position same exact age too. The pressure I'm feeling to not be a burden to my family and start paying some bills and buying a car that doesn't drive slower than a bike is all immense. Especially so in the modern age where everything, making friends, finding love, doing hobbies, not overworking myself, staying focused, is all harder.
@@1whospeaks we became 18 when the lockdowns happend. should've been my best year but its wasted
Also 22 here lol, but I feel something different from you. This video makes me realize I could wake up in 30 years and still don’t have my life figured out. I need to do something about it now.
I love this video. God bless I hope everything works out
be proud man. You have my respect, hope you live long life and everything gets fine.
I'm a 26 Male in the US, I enjoy watching your videos, thank you for being so open about your life
Thanks
You look great Sir in your age.
My thoughts exactly @82zerox
As soon as you said your age I said out loud "he looks fantastic!"
Your English is also fantastic 👌
Solution: buy Bitcoin with your savings which is a fantastic long term store of value and absolutely beats fiat currencies as a store of value.
Look into it, all the best
My suggestion at 50 - Put as much as you can into retirement, more than you think you need. Income earning capability will taper off over time so you want to get the balance as high as possible while still making good money.
@@askjapan9669 what is your salary and how much you save per year? this would help us understand what you need to do next step?
I'm an American man who is 51, and I understand your worries. While I don't have a family of my own, I often think about how I can better my position. I think we all do. I wish I could offer you an answer, as I can see this is weighing heavily on your mind. I can tell you this. In the 15 minutes I was able to know you, you are very sincere, very caring, are a good provider to your family, and very brave by posting your concerns on a public platform. And your English is excellent too!! Even though you may not remember certain phrases, you are articulate and still get the idea across. I wish I could speak Japanese half as good as you speak English! I guess what I'm trying to say is: you are already doing A GREAT JOB at things. You have two beautiful children. You are successful enough to manage a team of people (something I've never done!). We all worry about the future. But if you look to your past and what you've accomplished, I don't think you need to worry about the future at all. You are capable and will find your way. あなたはとても良い人です、あなたが平和になることを願っています。
thanks for your comment.
The answer is he shouldn’t of had kids in his 40s, yet alone kids at all 😂
@@CampingComrade. the answer is youre parents shouldnt have had you youre just a dissapointment
@@CampingComrade.?
@@CampingComrade. dying alone and childless sounds miserable lol. The OP is a good man and gave life to two people who will carry his genes after he's gone.
He seems so grounded and insightful. I'm sure he's a great dad too. Wishing the best for him.
God bless her… thank god she's getting better. That's prolly the biggest relieve i could get if i were in ur shoes.
Just turned 26 today. Woke up wide awake realising I feel so far behind in my life and I'm almost 30, the timelines in my head just don't seem plausable. I would probably never admit this to anyone but since you have been so brutally honest and the comments are the same, I should be brave enough to do the same. Thanks.
Same man, turning 30 in 2 months, been clean off opiates for about a year. All my friends have kids or careers or both. I learned a trade and am very good at it but am burt out on the industry. Trying to start in a new field has been very difficult.
Hey man. Remember that anytime you feel this sensation, it is your ego talking. What I mean by that is you are making a comparison to others to arrive to that conclusion. Any time that happens, it is our ego speaking. If you were alone on this planet, there would be no "late". There would just be doing.
The same actually remains true even with 8 billion of us, it's something to really consider. If something is worth doing, it's worth doing "late". Because there is no late, there's just the path that we are on, and it's different for all
Tolkien didn't write Lord of the Rings until his 50s. Was he late?
26 is when life switches from normal mode to hard if you did not put in all the work the previous 10 years.
I'm 27 and had been feeling that way the past few years, stuck in dead end jobs just trying to get by, even with the good things in my life like my gf and dog you tend to take those for granted and fixate on the bad, anyway I've gotten a place in a school after summer to learn a trade and I'm feeling a bit more hopeful now.
We're all on our own journeys and have our own struggles and it can be so easy to compare to others but it's really the least helpful thing you can do for yourself. Be kind to your body try to eat a balanced diet and if you're stuck in a job you hate try applying for schooling in something you want to do would be my best advice :)
@@nathonso_edits Hey man, as someone who was in your position and the same age and "turned it around" from dead end jobs to being self employed and financially free ($1m+ a year). My advice is to love yourself and be kind to yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others. You'll be surprised how a lot of the shit we worry about or stress about that doesnt make us feel "enough" is just our own perceptions. Look at the positive and youll see just how lucky you are. You are doing alright, all will be well my friend
27 year old german here. I have similar kind of worries on my mind. Unfortunately i do not have an idea or a solution. But i want to say, its very brave of you to speak about this topic publicly. It is very interesting and i will follow your story as it develops from now on. Stay positive my friend !
I think worrying about the future is a waste of the time you have now.
Go enjoy life, maybe go camping go for a walk in nature. Cities suck the life out of me personally.
@@FrozenDung yep I wasted a good 5 years worrying about my future
Fabian, mir geht es oft genau so, vielen in meinem Umfeld geht es genau so. Wir leben in einer sehr bewegten Zeit und das wichtigste ist wahrscheinlich, dass wir nach vorn schauen, dankbar sind, für das was wir haben und uns darum kümmern, worauf wir Einfluss haben. Auf unsere Familie, Freunde und uns selbst.
Die 20-er Jahre sind echt ne komische Zeit, weil so viele zukunftsweisende Entscheidungen anstehen und das kann echt überfordernd sein. Ich habe große Zuversicht, dass sich viele Dinge ergeben werden und es ist doch auch schön noch nicht zu wissen, was in 5-10 Jahren sein wird, dass das Leben fließen kann und von niemandem vorbestimmt ist.
Wir werden unseren Weg finden. Grüße an dich, Fabian.
@@FrozenDungyeah humans need to chill tf out, why can't we just enjoy lives without stressing so much
Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m 50 this year and my kids are around the same age as yours. I can relate to everything you say and would just like to thank you. Such a great guy. If you ever go to England be good to grab a beer 🍻
This is the greatest RUclips content I have ever seen. So compelling and relatable; equally as challenging for him as it is for us. He doesn't have the answers, but most of us don't either. We just live and struggle with doing what's best. We know things could be better, like getting a promotion, but we fear shaking things up because the attempt may backfire and unsettle our situation.
I don't have the answers for you, but it seems like there's a lot of great advice in the comments. My thoughts and hopes are with you and your family.
God bless you all 🙏🏻
Take it from me, I'm 23 years old. My brother's 24 and we live with our 52 year old mother in Switzerland.
All our lives we lived with crippling debt, but each one of us takes the burdena step at the time. I personally work about 50 hours a week, shit pay.
On nightshift with horrible conditions. It took me 2 years to pay my debt off. As soon as my brother passes, and earns his certificate at the business school he attends. It's his turn.
Carrying my burden, I nearly relapsed to my old addictions that kept pestering me at times of anger and despair.
Due to my dilligence, patience and hope. I got to be where I am now, finally ready to take the next step.
Mister, don't lose hope. If you value yourself more than anything else, you become able to make other things and other people feel valuable.
Keep going, soldier.
Thanks for your sharing your story.
nice! but problem is that if you are 50 you have not energy as when you was 23 :-) not talking about kids and wife...
@@non9886 energy for what, is he a weight lifter?
what about knowledge?
@ivok9846 it's expectable that a 50 year wants and needs to live a more comfortable life. and the days of grinding for years will be left behind for a 20 something but will be pretty much the end of a healthy, independent life for a 50 years old.
I don't want to discredit the hardships original commentor has gone through though
You are working like a machine. When you should be working like a lion.
Well -- I'm sure you'll get lots of advice, much of it well meaning, some not. But here is my perspective, as a 77 year old man. What I hear in you, is a lot or worry about the "future."
Can you control the future? No. You can't even predict what will happen tomorrow. None of us can. Do these worries affect your ability to enjoy the moment, to fully embrace the present? I suspect they do. If you paint dark pictures about the future, what good does
that do? Does it improve your present? No. Will it pave the way to a "better" future? No.
Worry becomes habitual. It becomes a way of life. I'd suggest that you participate in some
spiritual practice which grounds you in the present, and breaks the chain of worry.
Your culture has a rich spiritual tradition. So does mine. Even if you have no religious affiliation, allow yourself to enjoy all those little things in daily life which are gifts. A grasshopper landing on a leaf. The wind in the trees. A line in a poem. The laughter of your children. The sound of rain on the roof.
The tenderness you share with your wife. These things are what life is really all about.
Not career. Not a basket of worries about a future you can't control. Not all that dark picture
painting. Live fully today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
Worry solves nothing, helps nothing. Worry about the future, robs you of the present.
One of the best advice I ever heard! Thank you and best wishes!
Well said.Try to enjoy every second of life and treasure the present is really important.
Thank you! Salute from Germany
That’s an amazing advice, although, it’s easier said than done, especially for us who had built a habit of worrying. In my work, I have a pressure to perform and be sharp. And that pressure prevents me from enjoying small things in life, because it feels to me that I always need to think about work in order to stay ahead and not get fired /:
Useless advice
This is such a good video. Thank you for sharing your concerns, it helped me understand that there are many people who are suffering or facing similar challenges. I am just 23 years old, not married and therefore, I do not have all the problems and concerns that you stated in your video. But, my parents are also getting old and so, I always find myself thinking about ways to be ready if any adverse medical situation arises.
Coming back to the title, I am still young and I have just started working, there are so many things that I have not experienced or learned yet. If I had that experience, I would have certainly wanted to help. But, at the moment, this video helped me instead.
I hope your concerns get sorted with time.
I hope that things get easier for you with time. I found this video and thought it was very vulnerable and appreciate that. Try to stay strong, I believe in you. This is not advice but just a little hope from a stranger to you.
I‘m 59 going in my 60th. This is what I’ve learned. I’m not wiser just because but life taught me… When I found time to think and worry, I found out that I‘m one of the lucky people to have the time to do so. In the past I’ve worked to my limit that I was exhausted that didn’t leave me to even think.
Secondly, all those worry, I pondered like you made me feel worse and most of them didn’t end up that way and the rest of those worry concerns I had were managed as I moved along with life. Some tough moments, some stressful but I was able to get through.
Third, when quiet moments of the day were present, I’d grab it, fight for that moment as a gift to myself to recharge for the next battle. In German, „Kleine Inseln des Glücks“.
Lastly, 90% of our life, we can’t control, only 10% of it. What we can only control is our attitude, our reaction, our approach to life as it presents itself for the day.
Manage it step by step. Later on in life, you‘ll find yourself looking back at your age of 50 and say, I wish I could tell my 50 year old self… what is true today, is only valid today. It might not be true for me tomorrow, next month and in 5 years.
In the end, being kind to ourselves in the midst of adversity is the helpful solution to battle and enjoy life at the same time. 🕊️🕊️ Real happiness is hidden in inner peace. When you find him there, let me know at @meetarlesa.
Take care and good luck. You have a kindred soul and a kind heart. That‘s what matters, the universe will take care of the rest, you hang on and just hold on tight to take the ride. 🕊️🙋🏻♀️
Great advice, useful for my life also, thank you.
@@notavail Yea same i needed this. Thank you @meetarlesa
Having an easy life is hard, having a hard life is easy.
You have two beautiful children, still speak to your brother, mother is still with us, an above average salary job and a house you can call a home. You have done very well with your life my friend! I congratulate you on your acheivements. You, unfortunaltely, are the correct person of the household to be tasked with worrying about the future of your family and yourself. Luckily for you, you are intelligent and strong minded, so you will get through this with grace. Your children will grow up fast, I hope you are able to spend time with them now before that happens! I love your video's, best of luck with your endeavours.
I hope you do a live stream. You have a lot of followers, stay positive. You are a great man!
Wishing best of luck. Also leaving a comment for the algorithm!
This is so real and full of raw emotions. The fact I'm 23 and worried about my future like crazy, its reassuring reading through comments and seeing people are also tryna to figure things out. I think ill never know what I'm doing and I hope if someone else reads this, just keep going and moving forward, its only over when you give up. Find a passion, follow it , trust it, and I'm sure itll be alright.
I'm 23 and my dad is 70. My dad has a pension and takes care of me. He buys me coffee and drives me to work (healthy for his age for sure). His mortgage still has 15 years. I went blind in one eye recently. I just got a 60k annual job and living at home until I get married.
Only marry someone who brings an equal worth to the table. Otherwise, you will just get taken for everything..
@@DIARRHEA-PANICchoosing your partner based on their income is pathetic. If you’re that worried just get a prenup. Choose someone you love that loves you for yourself and not your money. Yeah, go ahead and marry someone based on their income and what they bring to the table, that’ll end well…
@@dragonsharker4793 I actually agree with them. My fiancé makes 90k and I make him spend money on me. I'm a believer that men only value you if they invest in you. The money I'm working for is for myself to save and put away. Because we really want to have kids, and I see it as unfair that I will be put at a disadvantage in the job market. There's nothing wrong with guarding yourself as a woman, because it's true that we get taken advantage of until a shiny new model comes along. Anyway, my fiancé comes from a more wealthy background than me. He'd survive without me. I do love him very much but we recently got into a fight, which he carried on for longer than was necessary (cruelly ignoring me when I expressed how sorry I was and that I wanted to communicate). I don't believe in unconditional love even though he really is a great guy (provider, masculine, sweet, caring, calm). I work in law so I see the majority of divorce cases be surprise divorces initiated by men (they are typically lower or lower middle class couples).
But this is all besides the point. I think their point was that I'm going to presumably inherit a house and I make decent money for my age as a woman. Again, nothing wrong with being guarded.
@@dragonsharker4793they didn’t say income, they said worth.
There’s a huge difference.
And believe me, it is vitally important in a relationship
@@dragonsharker4793eh yes and no you definitely shouldn’t choose someone based on their income but if you’re going to be with someone who doesn’t make as much you should work with them to find ways to increase their income single income isn’t enough to support a single person at least where I live so a single persons income can not support 2 people that’s just the math
I really appreciate the courage it took for you to share this. I am 69, and it would be very difficult for me to speak from the heart like this over RUclips. I enjoy my life but habitually compare myself with others, almost always coming up short. (By the way, your English is excellent.)
You're an honest man. I don't know what would be best in your situation but I hope you will find clarity, success and happiness
Perhaps this RUclips channel will lead to something. You are already connecting to thousands of people around the world, that is special in of itself.
I completely understand the career issue too. Where it’s not necessarily an “issue,” like you’re not completely unhappy with what you’re doing, but you’re aware that the compensation simply isn’t enough. And yet, you’re also aware that your resume and the skillset you’ve built over the years aren’t suitable for any other option.
It’s so mind boggling.
It’s difficult because solutions aren’t always clear-cut 😢
Thank you for sharing. You have so much going for you. Be grateful for your, health, family, and yes - the job. Perhaps change the way you look at your job, as a means to serve others/do good - vs than just a paycheck. I too was in a very familiar place w/my career - and was eventually let go last year at age 55. I had to remind myself, the job ultimately does not define a person, rather value is found in "being", more so than in doing. Focus on today and today's problems, tomorrow's problems will be here soon enough. Don't care that you're an older dad, trust me, there are father's older than you out there - fatherhood is not one-size fits all. You are likely much wiser than the 30yr olds, and your children will benefit greatly! Also lean lean on your faith.
Your a good bloke and good luck to ya mate.
My dearest sir... you inspire me with your honesty towards fear of all details of your life. I am Jeannie writing on my husband's name. In a few days, my husband turns 60 and then later in 2024 I will turn 60. We had a slow start to our time together with much time dedicated to immigration issues. We met late in life and have no children (sad). We will be working well into our retirement years .... your English is wonderful, your honesty will give you clever solutions to "building your beautiful garden" with your family. You will remain younger in attitude because of the young children around you. You will build your outside from people like me and around the world learning from you. You are amazing!
By the way.... I am writing you from Cincinnati/Florence Kentucky area of the United States. I prepare so many Japanese people to fly back to Japan from my CVG airport. I always wonder how life is all the time. How I can make a difference in their lives.... in your case you made a difference in mine.... remember you are not old.... you are like fine wine.... better with age.
That is such a lovely, heartwarming and generous message. I wish you both happiness and peace whatever the future holds ❤
thanks for your comment.
Lots of good advice shared here but I wanted to share also the importance of inner peace that God can provide. Don’t hesitate to share with him what ever concerns you have. He hears you and can help. Don’t overthink it, he’s God and we can’t figure everything out about him. Otherwise he wouldn’t be God. He knows and sees a searching heart, so call out to him and give him a chance to help you out with guidance.
May God bless you, brother
one of my favorite things on youtube is watching videos like these that initially look boring, but they're so real they're more fascinating than anything on tv
thanks for the vids, you're not alone!
Wow
Same reason I subbed after just one video.
I think you are on the right track, you don't need to do anything different just keep doing what you are doing now. The world needs someone like you to open up and talk about their life experiences and how they feel about life on RUclips. From reading other people's comments here, there is definitely an audience for what you are doing right now. So keep making these videos, and I'm pretty sure your channel will blow up. I have just subscribed.
What I love about this video: you are very honest, speak clearly, and you are talking about things a lot of people can relate to. In future videos you can talk about your experience in marketing, and sales, and what it is like being a parent in your 50s... the possibilities are endless. You are a very likable person so if you are persistent you will find success. One thing I know about Japanese people is that you guys are persistent and hard-working so I know you will find success. I wish you all the best!
Woah. I am not in the exact circumstances but.., I relate. You both warm and hurt my soul. we are all in this together. thank you for your time
this guy’s voice and accent is pure ASMR
thanks for your comment.
😂😂😂 here you go …we found you a side job. People ready to pay good money for it. I’m joking… but maybe food for thought.
If you are in Health try to run a 100miles race. At the end of the race all your questions has an answer trust me. 15:47
My advice is keep up with these real conversations and moments on RUclips and hopefully your channel will grow and grow and create a wonderful income for you and your family. This video was so refreshing and honest. Thank you for sharing and good luck. I’ve subscribed. 😊😊
Thanks
You are blessed my friend. I see a caring and loving father, son and brother. All is well my friend, all is well.
50 is not old. We live in an amazing age of medical innovations. So many ailments are being cured, and people are living longer and longer. 50, in 2024, is very young still. I’ve met people in their 70’s who were full of vigor and health and strength. You’re still so young. You can do anything.
Why you being so real😭 Im 40, married but no kids. My boss got fired recently by the company and I think I'm not far from that. And the economy was better several years ago and I had bought a rental property. Now things are not sustainable and I've just gotten rid of that and lost about $200k from that as we dont know how much longer we can last with each month we are paying more than we make and I see no light at the end of the tunnel yet. I know there are probably millions of people out there who face the same as me but I consider myself lucky, compare to those suffering at wars still. Bless you man, and your family, and whoever kind hearted person eho come across this video. Keep your head down and plow through those harsh moments 💪
Do not give up. YOU ARE STRONG!
Thanks
I was exactly the same age as you when i got my first daughter. My second daughter 3 years later.
Im lucky i got my kids the time i got them or else it would not be the daughters i have today.
I can really relate to the feelings and concerns about life, parents, work etc when you reach 50. Figure out what is the most important thing in life for you and do the best you can. You will make it. Thank you for the video.
50 is still so young!!! Lots of life to live!! I hope the advice you get helps you, and you get to relax!!!
As a younger person this was incredibly insightful into the problems I will be facing at a different stage of life because I can’t quite imagine what problems I will face yet. Thank you so much for sharing, you will achieve your goals!
He's already said that he has NO GOALS to look forward to! So..........
Such an interesting and real video, i am currently 18 so I can't offer much in terms of advice, but i will keep you and your advice in my thoughts moving forward. I always try to learn as much as i can from other peoples advice/mistakes.
I hear you, I worry about similar things. But honestly, WE WORRY TOO MUCH!
Thanks
I am more than 10 years older than you and worry about my future. All over the world, people are under a lot of stress. Your YT channel seems to be doing well and I hope it keeps growing so that it can represent a second source of income for you, perhaps enabling you to pay off your mortgage early. 💗💗
The US is a s*** show right now
Wow, thanks
@@KristaCarrington your guy is why. 😒
Thank you for your sheer honesty. I am a 17 year old guy from Australia and I very much appreciate how open you are, into your personal life, for our sake. Unfortunately, I am not very wise, but I wish you luck!
Yes and im a 17 year old girl from Oman, appreciating this!
23 Year old guy from the US. Through videos like this and personal conversations I've come to realize that everybody is the same, no matter where in the world you are. The only change is the scenery
Damn, 17 was the age where everything started to completely change for me. Met my wife, was about to finish school and absolutely wrong about everything I thought about life. It hit me like a brick that all safeguards were taken away after finishing school. Nobody cares about you unless you actively do something about it, nothing moves forward unless you actively work towards it. The possibility of doing anything I want is empowering but also pressing. Now I lay the foundation for my later life. Until about 30 I can still change the direction at least moderately. But afterwards I will probably be so involved in everyday life, kids and work that the routine and maintaining my lifestyle will be the only focus in life. It's somewhat calming that we all go through the same experiences
Thank you for sharing your life experience. I love the honesty, very fascinating content.
I think you are helping alot of people with this content 🙏🙏
I think your doing the best you can for your family. No one can ask for more than that.
Whatever you choose to do, I wish you all the best for you and your family 🙏🙏.
My father’s situation is very similar to yours! He had me when he was 45 (and my mom was 37). I’m 17 years old now and he’s at the age for retirement, but he doesn’t plan on retiring anytime soon. (And we don’t know how old my grandmother is exactly, but I think she’s in her mid-80s.) I used to feel a little left out seeing that my friends’ parents (that were younger than mine) were able to play with them, but that feeling went away as I grew older. Plus, I still had my friends to play with so it wasn’t too bad. I do feel sad when I think of how old they’ll be once I finish college, but I just do my best to keep all of us healthy. Honestly, this really doesn’t parallel your situation perfectly, but I thought you’d appreciate my anecdote
This is a rare gem , it is so rare japanese people raise their concern , and it resonates with everyone even for myself to reflect now age 30. Its great to see honest open concern and seeking advise
Thanks. I have realized that not many Japanese haven't done this so I did.