The Art Of Getting What You Want
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- Опубликовано: 30 июл 2017
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Margaery Tyrell might be the most underrated player in Game of Thrones. And it’s a shame that she meets her end so early, at least in the show, because more than any other character I’ve covered, she has the most to teach you about how to behave in the real world.
Which is cool, because unlike Littlefinger and Tywin Lannister, I don’t have to tell you NOT to do these things. We’re talking about good stuff here, so you’ll want to apply a lot of this even if you don't live in the Game of Thrones, beginning with Margaery’s first incredible talent: her ability to build rapport with anyone. She has a number of incredibly effective strategies.
00:16 Build rapport as the HBO show Game of Thrones here shows
06:33 Learn as much as you can about the person to truly empathize
07:39 Lead them as shown as examples here from Game of Thrones
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![🏵️The Costumes of Margaery Tyrell [Updated] (Game of Thrones #3)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/7XmRbDZUNDQ/mqdefault.jpg)
![🏵️The Costumes of Margaery Tyrell [Updated] (Game of Thrones #3)](/img/tr.png)
Always loved Margaery. She had a way of getting what she wanted without threatening or killing anyone. Just manipulation, subtlety and seduction at its finest.
Agreed
She was so good
And her manipulation always make the opposite party feel like they are also in the win. It s a win win
Na I don't like Margaery the way she act and care for others just feel ... so fake and deliberate
@@aintgonnaletuknow5758 true, but she has never done any harm to anybody. She might be fake as hell but she is not evil.
Margery was a really brilliant character. She had so much more to offer. They shouldn't have killed her so early. The Tyrells in general are probably the best family.
That's exactly why they were killed off so quickly.
Same thoughts bro. Olenna was an OG
GRRM has the neck for killing his best characters. What does it feel like to drown your own children? I’ve always wondered. He must’ve loved the Tyrell just as dearly.
Grandma Tyrell was the best character ever!!!!
The Professor ??? Where did you hear this? She found out about her death when she got the script.
“i do believe that Margaery is a kind-hearted character”
or is it because she manipulated you into thinking so?
hMmmMm?
Manipulation is not inherently evil, sometimes we need a little bending and pressure to help us improve ourselves.
Manipulation is not always evil.
Sometimes people manipulate to help others be better)
When Joffrey is grilling Tyrion at his wedding, Margaery looks genuinely uncomfortable about what Joffrey does, so much so she tries to interfere. Meanwhile the other lannesters including Tywin and Jamie are just watching.
@Ivana Ivanasarah I remember hearing of Princess Diana doing something similar to that with victims of leprosy amongst other acts of kindness, which are too numerous to mention.
That's why Cersei didn't like her, for she was the only one that could influence her children better than herself. Cersei has a sensitive nerve to anything that can take her power away.
666 likes
Also the only reason Cersei didn’t fall for Margery’s tricks was because she used to try the same thing on Rob Baratheon.
true. cersei is 20+ years more experienced version of margery.
Nostalgic memories And Cersei doesn't have a conscience.
No she didn't. Cersei is a very narcissistic person who tries to control people like Tywin does. She might have learned after many years to be a more endearing personality. But that would be well after she burned her bridge with Robert.
@@NostalgicMem0ries no she's not. margery wouldn't sacrifice her family for throne
@@ilonakhedongu9150 ha, i doubt it.
Also, according to the costume designer, the way Margaery dresses and does her hair are also part of her trick to gain people's trust. She often wears sleeveless, revealing dresses and pulls her hair away from her shoulders to signify confidence and openness. Unlike Cersei who lets her hair hangs in front of her chest and wears long-sleeved dresses all the time.
Just be hot and that’s it
@@The123carrera Yep, I'd follow her anywhere !
She is a vampire
Cersei understands that though, it's a conscious decision. "She dresses like a harlot for a reason"
Cersei was older than Margaery: the same dress wouldn't look the same on their bodies, even if their bodies were the same size and shape. It's all due to age and its effects on the skin. With a sleeveless dress, Margaery also gives the impression of innocence, even though people knew she wasn't innocent.
So, basically, Margery read the book "how to make friends and influence people"
1. Be polite
2. Build rapport by talking about what the person you talking to like.
3. Be empathetic and demonstrate.
4. Reframe how the person can win if they do what you're saying.
It's a great book!
And be pretty!
888 likes
Game of thrones character : *exist*
Charisma on Command : It's free real estate.
Bet he can't find Charisma in S8
Ahah
@@ahamedjunaid01 S8 is a dumpster fire where charisma goes to die
*TV show exists*
Charisma on Command : it's free real estate
😂😂
The standing by someone's side tip is actually genius. It's so much more comfortable to stand and talk to someone next to you in a party than it is to talk to someone in front of you. So much less awkward and socially demanding.
And you know what? I actually prefer the other way. I love to be the opposite and discus things face to face not shoulder to shoulder.
i like to be face to face so i can read there facial expressions
It's not about you. It's about how the other side responds. Try it out, see if it works.
Indeed, the thing with standing side by side to someone can also go into how by doing so, you aren't making the other person feel forced to look at you when you talk incase they feel shy, awkward or number of things. They can give an occasional glance and it can feel like a reward, instead of if you're infront then if they aren't looking at you both you and the other person can feel awkward.
That ofcourse can change depending on the person, but generally I think this will always work much better with any stranger you meet or someone you'd like to befriend more majority of the time even if someone prefers face to face.
My roommate's teenage daughter came to live with her/us-3brm- and they did not agree on much so I looked up how to talk to a teenager and this was a suggestion and it worked. Standing next to her not 'confronting' her [plus listening, respecting her, not telling her what to do but pointing out pros & cons] But that opened her up.
I love Margaery. She's one of the only characters that doesn't make enemies, but allies and (as far as I've seen) hasn't been killed yet. She's beautiful and extremely charismatic.
Xenon Rising She's kind of enemies with Cersei.
,,as far as I've seen'', hehe
Consolous Yeah well, Cersi is enemies with everyone. No one but her family likes her ;p
Lmao
Not even her family likes her lmao
Doesn't hurt that she's so outrageously gorgeous.
This seems like a good channel for sociopaths
Me lol
Some people find it hard to express themselves with others, and not intentionally, there are real things such as introversion, shyness this type of videos are actually helpful for people who wish things to be different when interacting and socializing in a daily basis
BaioWithMayo what do you mean by socially burned? I am socially awkward and I’ve always thought it was because of experiences that occurred in my childhood so I’m wondering if socially burned applies to me too.
The diagnosis of sociopath is one that no serious psychiatrist has made since the 1960's.
Or people who think they are slick learning this stuff when they can't befriend a paper bag
Step. Step. Step. Step.
"We could arrange to have you carried."
SAVAGE 😂😂.
Did he literally just threatened to injure him to the point of needing to be carried that's even better than his son's threats.
@@shaunablack1671 nah not really he made him look like a fool because he was lazy af by making him feel smaller and the voice tone change
I think it can be interpreted in both ways, and it's even better this way.
I think we can all agree that tywin is amazing at getting joffrey to shut up 😂
@@theDarkness558 Double entendre
My latest personality is always according to the latest video from you.
Mr IY note: stay away from mr IY if latest video reports dirty tricks
Mr IY my first time watching this channel and I right away wanted to mimic this personality lol
That is so cute lol
no. his personality will just always be according to the final video
Then you are empty. You are nothing. However if you apply these tips according to your own personality and environment, it might work for you. Or, maybe you'll find you don't need to all of those tactics. Be yourself, first.
Reminds me of the quote, I think by Albert Camus: "Don't walk in front of me and lead, don't walk behind me and follow, walk by my side and be my friend" 👍👌
Thank you for sharing this it’s beautiful.
I may have just found my wedding vow.
Idk if this is actually a quote form Camus- I’ve only heard it in the form of a song in Jewish middle schools
She was a likable and genuine version of Cersei with even more skill at that craft than Cersei herself. That pissed her off a lot.
Cersei was a lot more fun though
So smarter than her that she got killed by cersei ... no, cersei is way smarter the problem is cersei is emotional sometimes.
@Donnie Darko lol.. like Daenerys lol.. in my opinion she is more like cersei than daenerys.. daenerys was a warrior a conqueror while margery is a goldigger/freeloader.. yeah she would've made a good queen or a politician but she would've never be able to make a mark in history or conquer anything by herself
I love Cersei and didn't like margarey
@@dysplasiaanaplasia4128 she got killed because she underestimated the length Cersei would go to get what she wants. Which as you saw was pretty extreme but meh
"If you give them your love, they will return it a thousandfold."
Life Starter Pack If only it were so easy
Life Starter Pack you have a cool channel!
"Me mum always said, if you're kind to strangers, strangers, will be kind to you."
It is that easy, if you are the one perceived to be in a position of higher social standing. If however you are seen as either in a weaker or equal social standing, you're just a resource to be used.
So did Arya really killed them? Because she didn't eat it, instead she ate her bread.
She had the ultimate ability to connect with people regardless of background.
She was also very aware of the power structures that REALLY ruled Westeros.
One of your best videos to date Charlie!
THIS! her grandmother even said so. But you are right about awaremeness of real power
I think she was the most likeable character yet in the show
+Charisma Academy Soo True, +Charisma On Command/(Charlie) a really important context and informational Video, thx :-)
Well no, she lost to the cult and she did know it, shooing the family matriarch away because she did know that she is entirely powerless to turn this around and even her mentor would only harm herself.
+Sarah She was right to turn Olenna away, because she was aware that they were playing a very dangerous game and as intelligent as the Queen of Thorns is, she roasts Cersei every time she lays eyes on her. Cersei has a reputation for being very vane - this wouldn't bode well. She was doing well with the Faith Militant, actually. I'd say she "lost" a battle when the High Sparrow made Loras swear to basically be a monk but she was about to escape the Faith's clutches before Cersei blew them all up. I'm still not over her death :c
To be fair. In any other setting, Margery would have won definitively. It's just that Cerci out-dumbed everyone and then went the crazy route out of desperation and panic.
Zachary Hawley I agree, Margery definitely could have one the game of thrones if Cersei didn’t act out of desperation and take the easy way out.
That move made Cersei lose in the long run though, no more support from the Tyrells and most of her armies only following her out of fear that they might be killed resulting in her putting her trusts in the treacherous ironborn and sellswords. Tywin was right when he told Cersei that "you're not as smart as you think you are.".
George would've written their deaths and Cersei in a different more interesting way imo. Show Cersei just turned into female Lex Luthor lmao
Plot armor* cercy had plot armor
And the fact that people didn't care about it
Wildfire aka deus ex machina
Step 1: Be played by Natalie Dormer
Profit!
Step 1: be a 10
Step 2: Profit
I'd like to be played by Natalie Dormer
This comment by ayy and subsequent reply are golds
Your PFP belongs in a museum
@@kubli365 are you talking about my face?
Margaery and the Tyrells in general are such amazing characters, so sad about what happened last night :(
Omg yes... I was still trying to get over Margaery's death and then...
At least Olenna died with style
The Tyrells were the best. "Every rose has its thorns" - And Olenna was the thorns of House Tyrell. She got a very, very good sendoff, sadly unlike Margaery. Everything about that scene last night was amazing, she gave Jaime 3rd degree burns throughout.
Yeah Olenna had a really good exit, Margaery's was okay because she knew exactly what was happening and showed her strong intuition, but I wished that when she died she had a scene entirely focused on her death rather than just thrown in with everyone else, especially because of how big her impact was imo
I feel like Olenna, with her last breath, decided the future of house Lannister. She planted enough doubt in Jaime for him to finally turn against Cersei. She died, but not without letting her poisonous thorns strike one last time.
Wasn't Olenna supossed to go with Ellaria? And she didn't sold out Littlefinger!!
*3 STEPS TO INFLUENCE ANYONE*
*1. Build Rapport*
- Physically put yourself on their side
- Make physical contact (a lot but not too much)
- Get them to talk about the things that they care about
*Men* often like to be asked about how things work, *problem solving*
*Women* on the other hand often enjoy to share their *emotional experience*
- Indicate that you care about their opinion
*2. Learn how they view the world*
- Be an active listener
- The best way to get someone to open up is to show vulnerability
- Get to know what makes them tick
- Empathise with their feelings
*Pacing and Leading*
- State their world view
- Mirror back how they must have felt or feel
- Share that you've experienced a similar situation or feeling that they just found themselves in
- Sometimes is just as simple as saying the words ''I understand''
- Truly try to step into their shoes so you can lead them with much less resistance
- You can also give them a reputation that they'd like to live up to *(praise the person for what they are doing)*
*3. Lead*
Gj thanks! 👍
Thanks so much.
Excellent 😊
omg the exact same thing I do 😅
Thanks!
She is the true meaning of a trained "Empath"!
@@The482075 I'm an Empath and I could tell you that us (INFPs, the mbti thing) aren't the types who would manipulate people. Maybe we would want to, but then our conscience will bug us forever even if we just think of doing it. So yeah..
P. S. But hey, if there are INFPs who would manipulate people, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be able to handle themselves and then just do something to stop it. (im not gonna tell what they would do, just.. No)
P. P. S. But if there are also Empaths who aren't INFPs, well I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know. So I would most definitely wouldn't understand what they're thinking.
@Bob Oh sorry, I didn't mean it like that.. Sorry.
INFP is a personality type, and well, we're also not the only ones who are Empaths. The whole NF's are Empaths. Just.. Search for it, I'm way too lazy to explain everything. :)
@@The482075 Somebody who is truly empathetic would not use your opening up to them against you. Somebody who only pretends to be empathetic on the other hand, may do the things you describe. Most likely, somebody who is able to successfully feign empathy to the point that you believe them truly empathetic when they really want to manipulate you, is likely a psychopath, which means they have no empathy at all and is the latter person you described. So I don't think I agree that somebody very empathetic is as dangerous as somebody who lacks empathy
@@monkiram Fair enough.
@@monkiram Yeah I've thought about it. Made that comment a year ago. I no longer stand by it.
I love this video! So often, the power of feminine energy is overlooked but it's truly one of the biggest tactics a woman can use. Margarey lived in her femininity and her empathy and that's where she found her power. And she was the only character to consistently do that. She was definitely gone too soon, loved her and Olenna. I'm sure every woman can agree with the bit about us wanting to just vent about our problems sometimes without looking for a man to fix it for us, haha!
Margaery was also a crowning achievement in Game of Thrones as a series; while she is in the books, she is merely represented as a minor character, but it's in the television saga that her character truly comes to life and is fully fleshed out.
P.S. This was a very articulate and insightful analysis.
please the only thing that book Loras has over show Loras is one unshown battle, a comparing with Jaime and becoming celebrate (why must the only gay character be the one who never have sex again)
Plus book Loras was also extremely self absorbed and arrogant, while in the show he is much nicer and actually tries to cheer people up.
Natalie Dormer tends to add something unexpected to all of her roles.
Golden Rose okay but this comment was praising Margery, not Loras
Mergaery is my favourite female character in GoT for a reason.
She played the game well, just a pity they did not let her pick up on Cersei her absense fast enough to leave the damn place.
She could have it's just that there wasn't enough time to develop her character since the books aren't finished.
They probably would’ve developed her further but since Natalie wanted to leave the show there wasn’t much they could do.
I love how half of the comments is just mentioning her beauty
No one cares about her beauty. That's it.
@@EmmyV2002 what?
I LOVED Margaery, no one ever talks about her! She’s so gorgeous & smart, a total QUEEN & so inspirational (I have to say it, GOALS) I was so upset when she died & of course that didn’t seem to matter to anyone else I talked to smh. She should be a much more popular character from the show than she is.
Yes!!!! MARGAERY WAS MY FAVORITE!!
Margaery Tyrell won't ever die in the books. George has already implied it saying, "Most of the characters that the showrunners have killed off will never die in the books."
I think that when Daenerys arrives in Westeros, Maegaery and the Tyrells will find some way to support the Targaryen rule. The Tyrells were on the Targaryen side during the rebellion. It's possible they may even abandon the Lannisters, who knows.
Because who rules a kingdom matters in the books.
Right now the show has the Stormlands, the Reach, and Dorne run by...
I don't think this will happen. Many of the Tyrell's governor of sanjaks will end up betraying Mace, especially Tarlys. It's possible that those governor of sanjaks will support Aegon Targaryen (!) instead, against to Cersei. Daenerys will not arrive at Westeros soon since she's found by Dothraks. But when she does, I think she'll probably find out that Aegon is not Rhaegar's true son, which makes her the true heir until they learn the truth about Jon.
Yes but in order to betray the Lannisters they'd have to kill tommen so Margaery will be free of him and I don't think anyone in house tyrell is cruel enough to kill an INNOCENT child, not even Olenna who had a personal reason for killing joffrey but not tommen who she'd only be killing politically and I don't think she would do that
I want this scenario to happen
She will die
I was also dissapointed Margery is gone. Of all the manipulation that goes on in the series, her style is the one we would most likely encounter on a daily basis. Though I disagree her intentions had any true acts of kindness. Everything she did was nothing more than wanting to invent herself into a persona people would trust while she used that trust for her own gain.
meh i don't think so, she has shown allot of times to be genuily kind even if it doesn't help her case like with Loras or Sansa after the engagement with Loras was off, Sansa had no real use then but she still went out of her way to comfort her because of wedding with Tyrion, and was shown to be upset with Joffreys dwarf play. Not just for Renly and Loras but she was also angry because of Robb and looked concerning to Sansa. Plus even in private moments with just Loras or Olenna she proves she is a good person
I would normally say this is true, but even when she's with family or loved ones who know her or when she has nothing to gain she is still actually kind. She has never once done anything cruel or evil to ANYONE! Except maybe throw some shade at Cersei. Does it matter if her intentions are pure? She feeds the poor, give Sansa a friend and never once has she done anything to contradict this behavior even behind closed doors. Hell, she doesn't even judge her homosexual brother. Everyone is happy in her presence and benefits from her kindness. So does it truly make her a bad person?
Quizzly Bear, you made seriously good points, she knew how to get people on her side by going over to their side and seeing it from their eyes. She made friends and definitely felt kindness and love seeing how sweet she was to her brother and grandmother, she is an amazing character who showed how you can show empathy and yet be so genius about it. Connecting to people and social networking was her greatest strength.
She is not bad, just ambitious. She builds rapport with people that are useful to her, she doesn't necessarily like all of them.
She was still a kind woman lmao. littlefinger is using charisma for power, but margaery used charisma for peace. She just wanted a peaceful kingdom
as someone who works in a call center, the pacing and leading at the end of the video is so beautiful when done properly. our training is to always have control of the call, but when a customer has made it a point to take the control to empathize with us- we do go that extra mile. i promise you that.
Would have been nice if Daenerys had met at least once Maergery. She would have learnt a thing or 2 about empathy and how to be good at the game without, you know, torching an entire city.
I don't know, I feel like Daenerys Would have had that coming in one way or another, I mean it wasn't the first time she torched people, and also her father and brother were both crazy so it's in her genes too, etc
@@NA-yq4pe I agree but they didn't do a good job of building up to it. I think they should have had a season of showing dany going more and more crazy. It felt weird for them to have had her torch the entire city just like that. Wish they built it up more and spent more time on it.
@@akshayapradeep9793 I agree, it was definitely rushed and either a couple more episodes or another season were necessary to make her progression less abrupt.
True
@@NA-yq4pe that's what Cercei did too
Her voice is so soothing
How to Win Friends and Influence People - GOT edition lol
Emma Lee I love that Simon Pegg movie!!
Jackie Lee like seriously
THIS
Dragons.
7
I've actually been doing some of these techniques for years subconsciously and I can attest to how effective they are. It was great to have these skills explained though, helps me be more aware of them and myself. I've definitely noticed you can get much further with customer service agents if you try to make friends or at the very least see them as a human being. Screaming and intimidation gets you nowhere.
9:48 is a interesting scene, she actually tells geofry what her strategy is. Return love to get love. I also do believe she did manipulate but also had a kind hearted side. I never really see her abuse innocent people.
Would Ser Davos from GoT make a good video? He tends to pop up when people are failing in negotiations and turns them around rather well
SuperAquiredTaste What do dragons breath? Fire!
This is Jon Snow............. he's the king of the north.
ZeriocTheTank, king of the north! King of the north! King of- *red wedding*
SuperAquiredTaste I actually have been thinking about Davos since he started these GOT videos
Lmao "This is Jon Snow"
Yes! Ser Davos, whilst not amazing at proving himself to be good with first-hand communication, has offered very truthful statements about the situation for a certain house (as their advisor), and it's usually his raw truth and experience that makes him so valuable to that house. He knows what each house can offer up, their allies, enemies, troops, values, etc. and he's just enthralling to watch, in my opinion.
Also, he's just a great personal hype man/friend. I can see the friendship between him and Jon blossoming. :)
she was my FAVORITE character because of her smart manipulation, im sad that her role was short
Honestly I loved Margaret’s character, she was so manipulative, yet had a super kind heart. I was also very sad when she died
This channel made me realize how well written and detailed game of thrones is. Until the last two seasons of course
3:56 No wonder she is so upset. There is a nail dead centre in her forehead.
Literally laughing at this XD
And she only wants to talk about it...
You can see whole that video by searching "It's not about the nail"
60 Second Success you are everywhere
This TV show is boring. Great analysis, though!
I just remember watching seasons 3-6 of GOT in awe at Margaery. For once I felt like a character was handling things the way I would. No brutish outward displays of strength. No threats. Just lots of schmoozing and flattery to keep everyone (except that bitch Cersei) on your good side.
This!
Margaery is definitely one of the best characters on the show.
Us : Margery Tyrel is one of the most charismatic personality in GoT
Olena Tyrel : Hold my wine
😂😂😂😂
You mean: Hold my poisoned wine
Margaery is hands-down my favorite Game of Thrones character, and it's so great to see someone break down what exactly makes her such a great player in the game. All your videos are great, but this has to be my favorite so far. Nice work!
~ Thanks! Glad you like it :-)
And of course, very pleasing on the eye. ;-)
Margaery was intelligent, she knew how to get close to those who needed it, but as a social climber her family was, she chose one of the most dangerous families to get involved in, remembering that she even deceived the High Sparrow, which, despite being a fool, who was dealing, but she lacked the element of surprise, the strength that Cersei has at one point, instead of playing the game, turned the table and dropped all the pieces that thought they could with her.
Margaery with her cunning, which she had in abundance. A talented manipulator who knew how to stick to judicial politics. The strength of this character lay in his ability to win the minds and loyalties. Margaery possessed the tact and courtesy that Cersei lacked. Margaery worked within the social standards of "adequate" femininity in Westeros, but deftly turned them in her favor, to orchestrate political maneuvers behind the scenes.
Although Margaery has developed many different facades, depending on who she is trying to manipulate, she has genuinely shown a good heart, compassion and empathy.
She also showed genuine concern and tried to form a friendship with Sansa, even offering her help to leave Porto Real after the wedding with Joffrey - although this may have been partly because she had the longer-term goal of good relations with the North , feeling that the unstable Lannisters would not be in power forever.
She shared a very strong bond with her grandmother Olenna, sharing her acuteness for manipulation and political maneuvering. Although she had developed many facades to influence the opinions of others in her favor, she was extremely loyal to her family and home, and would make great efforts to keep them safe.
Queen of Thorns, what character ... what character ... deserved a video too.
She was also known for her wit and sarcasm. As a result, Lady Olenna was popularly known as Queen of Thorns, in reference to Tyrell's secrecy - a rose - and his sharp and barbed comments. She seems to have a very dark sense of humor and likes to mock those around her, including her own family. Despite this, Olenna clearly loves her family, especially her grandchildren.
Thank you! Because we see a lot of events concerning her by Cersei's perspective, a lot of people seem to forget she's actually quite a good person!
*King's landing
I agree completely. Although I do think Margaery said "yes" to the engagement to Barantheon/Lannister partly due to her father's doing. I don't disagree that she liked the idea of being "the Queen." Even Olenna remarked how silly her son (M's father) for (paraphrasing here) insisting to play with the "Lions." Olenna (which I agreed with) definitely didn't think it was the best idea to get involved with a dangerous family like the Lannisters but they had to do the best they could.... I think The Tyrells managed to stay on top because of they didn't covet the 'ultimate' throne directly, they just want to secure a top position but not necessarily the number one.
Reminds me of Megan Markle..
@@planetruther No way. Megan Markle buldozes her way through with a smile. Maybe she's a combination of Cersei and Margaery.
I love how Joffrey was scared when Tywin climbed the steps
As someone who worked in customer service over the phone for a year, I can tell you that example of you calling in and getting that extra help by just showing common decency and basic consideration makes all the difference in the world. I have bent over backwards to help customers who were understanding and patient with me despite their frustration at whatever they were calling in about, whereas by that same token i have been deliberately obtuse and difficult with customers who talked down at me
The secret to getting people to do what you want is to just be nice to them
Margery's best quality was, as stated, her ability to empathize with anyone.
Her biggest flaw, failure of imagination. Not seeing the Red Sparrow for the insane ideology that he was, not seeing Cerci's true evil until it was too late, and not realizing that her family member would be butchered the way he was.
to be fair, its not like she could have done anything against either one, starting with season 5 she lost control of the situation and could only to some slight damage control (like her own release, let Olenna return and stop Loras's beatings)
Are we watching the same show? She tricked the High Sparrow into thinking she was influenced by his ideals. Guess she tricked you too...
Margaery was trying to control the situation by not having too much collateral damage. Like Olenna did, after Renly death and putting Margaery as joffrey wife, and dealing with Tywin and Tyrion. Unlike Cersei, Margeary was more controlled by High Sparrow. High Sparrow was in doubt about her believes, so he control and test her everytime. Margaery had septa unella at her side every day. She had no way to have information of Cersei moves before the explosion. Probably she didnt had any information about Cersei secret meetings or attempts to control small council. Margaery was completly in the dark, only having Tommen to manipulate at same time trying to Take Sept Unella of her shoes, by proving her loyalty to High Sparrow (This was things that Cersei didnt had to deal, she had more time to plan things) Plus, Marg had to deal with her brother torture and how to stop it and put him into safety. At that point, every Tyrell was in danger, thats why she send Olenna home. She had too many things to deal at same time. She did saw Cersei last move, but she was powerless against High Sparrow. (We do not know if Margeary could run away in safety, if High Sparrow had listen to her. Time is sometimes weird in GOT)
Everyone has forgotten how she pissed off Cersei when she suggested Tommen to send Cersei back to Casterly Rock and when she subtly threatened Cersei after the wedding. This was her first mistake after becoming queen which led her to loose control.
Cersei saw through it immediately and decided to act. She knew that she is loosing control on Tommen and that Margaery as the new queen will take control and over shadow her in everything.
Maergaery's fault is that she is not careful when circumstances seem favourable, especially with people like Cersei. She thought that becoming a queen was enough and that she is powerful and safe.
@@lilbihxxx1234 yeah lol
Can I suggest to make video about Sansa? Everyone underestimates her. During seasons she was believed to be stupid girl with stupid dreams, she isn't a player. Of course, she has been learning so slowly, but it will be interesting to reveal her personal story
Margaery played the game of thrones very well, and in fact used all of these techniques to great effectiveness. In the end, however, she was done in by a character that was more ruthless and plotting (Cersei). One of the main themes of the show is that people like Cersei are quite successful and people like Margaery are often vulnterable to a mistake or a moment of weakness.
Margaery was the epitome of Queen!! She knew how to play the assholes around her to survive. She did it with such wit and grace. 💪🏼 So sad when she died. 💔
The same actress who played Anne Boleyn in the Tudors.
Yes, Natalie Dormer, she's great!
step 1: be margaery
step 2: whatever, everyone will adore you.
except for cersei
Wow, I do a lot of these things very naturally, out of genuine care....and I always thought (and was told) that I was weak and sensitive for it. Thank you for helping me realize that there is power in kindness :)
When I watched and saw her character I knew that she was something beyond. I just couldn't figure her out. But she is something called a soft power. Stronger than any kind of force.
You should do hodor charisma breakdown
Honza novák "Notice how Hodor hodors in this scene. Now this may not work for everyone, but when Hodor hodors, notice how people always listen."
Honza novák I try to hold the door for everyone. So his death is not for nothing.
I know this is a joke but you could do a video about him. He is a charming character with warmth and kindness. Due to his lack of speech, we the audience have only his body language and actions to go by.
hodor? hodor.
hodor hodor hodor
2:02 This is why people have such intimate conversations in cars.
To be fair the same characteristics (particularly being able to empathise) meant she caught that Cersei was going to get rid of them better than anyone else in the room. "She knows there are consequences for not attending but she chose not to attend anyway, which means she doesn't intend to face those consequences".
Margaery is a great influencer, not everyone can copy her works. And only Batman is immune to her skills
As a batman, i very much agree with you. Every time I watched her i felt there was something wrong. I felt uncomfortable while shes on screen.
She's one of my favourite characters on GoT. The way she played the game is very smart and real.
Great video! Although, I never considered Margaery Tyrell to be underrated. Everyone I've watched the show with and I have always gushed about how well she played the game, especially as a woman in that world. She loses her cool a couple times (SPOILERS: when Loras is taken prisoner and then with the High Sparrow at the trial in the Sept) and you can see her quickly rein it in because she knows that losing her temper won't get her what she wants. Kind, but a master manipulator. Brilliant character.
Rule 1: Be attractive
Rule 2: Don't be unattractive
This is the best explanation of empathy I’ve ever heard. Most people think it’s sympathy but you got it spot on. 💜
But I wonder who decided all these body languages, the actress or the director
Both. We're talking about the character though, not the people behind Margaery, so it doesn't matter.
I think it's about knowing the character and truly embodying them, the body language then follows as you are in character
Lady Olenna
director.
A good actress would most likely do it herself.
Not going to lie, I see a lot of myself in the way Margaery acts...never have I thought that the way I act was to influence people. It's surprising how far empathy can get you though. True empathy, not just feigned empathy with a hidden agenda, although I guess the latter can help you get what you want ultimately.
Me too. I always wondered why people easily open up to me and I mirror a lot of the same things she does in order to get to know people, but not having the intention of influencing them.
Fiona L true empathy doesnt work on psychopaths and a lot of people in management are pretty f’ed up
I've always thought Margery was one of the most powerful characters in the series. She could have changed Westeros' fate for the better. The polar opposite of Cersi -- manipulation of people toward the collective good.
Charlie, I am eternally grateful for your channel. I paid a life coach for a year, and while we made a huge amount of progression, these real life lessons as told through one of my favorite shows has really helped me grow as a man. Thank you.
Wow! I was researching about Margaeey for couple of days and by the way I never watched the GOT. I just got interest on her. And you uploaded a video on her. Thanks!
She is _such_ an interesting character.
Watch the show to see more of her!
Before I even start watching this video, can I just say....
I love how you can use Game of Thrones to break all these sorts of things down.
This show and it's characters just does such a great job at these things.
You forgot to mention how she smiles n makes the other person more comfortable in opening up to her. That's the most easy way to break the ice.
I love this channel as it genuienly explains why I enjoy interacting with people even when it is uncomfortable or difficult!
I've never visited this channel before, but I just had to click it as soon as I saw my love Margaery
Make a video about VARYS!
Felipe Vergara I agree.. He's the most interesting character for me.. The way he carries himself..
Varys cannot be quantified through conventional means.
The sad thing about Margaery's death is that she died due to her love for her family. So this still shows, that you really need to abandon every bit of your humanity to completely manipulate someone.
On Pacing and Leading - definitely a trick I use regularly, especially with customer service agents and other retail staff. Even on the side of the retail staff I used it on customers. I first learned about it under a different name while doing my undergraduate, can't recall at the moment, but its a good trick to use if you find someone getting increasingly frustrated with you. Never underestimate how much your attitude affects those you're interacting with.
Okay I paused at 12:08, it's absolutely crazy how you got your furniture delivered in 5 days after speaking so empathetically to the customer service representative. If it were my dad, he would have shown anger and frustration. HOW could things work like that with you? Goodness!! Wow. And by the way, I learned the same exact things through a doctor that I knew. God bless him! He taught me patient interaction and body language. I'm a pre-med by the way.
@Earthling108 "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar"--as the saying goes.
And--way to study rapport with patients! Essential skill that was formerly vastly underrated. God bless YOU in your studies and your career.
Cercei did that because she saw her younger self in Margeary, and she knew that she was a real treat to her.
True tho
... I don't know. Cersei didn't seem very charismatic when she met the witch. She's a malignant narcissist, and the symptoms often begin in childhood. Therefore, her ego and anger must have always been in the way of making her an empathic manipulator like Margaery.
I never noticed the problem solving versus emotional experience thing. It makes total sense I just needed to hear it in words to notice
This seems like a great way to just make a friend. Like, it's not pretending if you do wanna know things about them and actually empathize with them, it's just a more confident/controlled (you controlling YOURSELF, not them) conversation, so they still see who you are and you're not lying about anything
When you look at all the small details and realize what they mean, you just appreciate the big picture so much more.
Please make one about Hitler's speaches and how he made the people follow him.
Very tough to explain charisma when you have language, culture, and time-period barriers.
Benny Kreiler damn lol
Benny Kreiler awesome man!
youtube will flag him as a racist and delete his channel
interesting suggestion
Your personal story with that agent reminded me of a time I chatted with an agent through a chat room, when I was looking for a certain product but she doubled checked the inventory and they were out of stock. I still thanked and praised her for taking the time to try to help. She then told me she was nervous on telling me because other's were aggressive and would insult them with the news. I then told her that agent's can't solve our problems. We then ended the conversation by wishing each other a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year.
Binging and busy taking notes, I appreciate you guys
Was so mad when she died... she legit... was my favorite character.... so mad still.
My boyfriend and I are the opposites on "gender-based interest gathering". I prefer to explain how things work and I am generally blunt. He is prone to be emotional and wants to be asked about his feelings. I am not contradicting the way it typically works, though I think it's society's fault that it works that way, only giving an example of one of those "this isn't always the case" things he mentioned.
I think it's important to mention that people aren't automatically more logical or emotional due to their gender. Rather it is heavily influenced by a person's upbringing and the society you reside in.
I think it's more about the thinking/feeling spectrum (MBTI) than about gender. Most men are thinkers and most women are feelers, hence those are the stereotypes. But what really matters is the temperament and not the gender itself.
Left/right brain dominance, hormones
@@zetaforever4953 I work as a clinical psychologist, trust me, it is just simply not true what you say lol
@@t091293 May I ask your opinion on the issue?
You have a great analysis, I had to agree with everything you explained without question because you sounded so respectful!
A lot of these methods are things I'm learning at university to become an effective Alcohol and drug councelor, it's amazing to see this kind of information on RUclips, good work!
Hey Charlie,
I just wanted to say that when I started watching your videos a little while ago, I have noticed major positive changes in my charisma. I have gone from someone who could barely talk to unfamiliar people I meet and not knowing what to say to being confident and a lot more talkative in social situations. Regardless, I still have a lot of improvement to go, but these past few months have been the most outgoing I have ever been to strangers. I also do not struggle as much talking to unfamiliar people. However, due to my previous years of being shy, I do not have many friends much less close friends and have built a reputation around being quiet. I am working to improve this (especially this school year), but I know it is a little more of a struggle for me due to (like I said previously) having a reputation of not talking much. For example, When I walk into a room with people that know me for this reputation, they seem surprised that I am talking, much louder and outgoing.
Since I am becoming more outgoing now, I am looking forward to making more friends in classes. However, I have one temporary issue right now, since I am just starting the process of improving my charisma. Due to my friends having separate schedules, there will be no one to sit next to during lunch. I am wondering what you recommend for this issue. Should I sit by myself in the lunchroom and hope someone sits next to me that I can talk to? Should I sit in some place like the library to avoid the embarrassment of sitting by myself? I am also worried if someone from my class, sports team, or clubs will see me by myself and what they will think of me. How should I emotionally deal with sitting by myself? I would really like to walk up to a group to join them but as you know, a lot of times there are cliques that are not too welcoming (especially in high school).
I am looking forward to the advice I may receive from anyone on how to deal with sitting by myself, and also the best way to reverse my reputation of being quiet. Also, thanks Charlie for all the effort that you put into the videos! They are really helping me. Maybe you could do some videos relating to these two topics. Appreciate it!
People need to be comfortable being alone as much as being able to communicate well. A true person doesn't need to rely on what other's think. People will react in different ways based on their own childhood and experiences so your esteem must come from within. There are some mean manipulative people and needy people are not respected.
Take a look at people who play pro sports--I learned a lot. Pro quarterbacks are the center of attention but they have to handle it. They need a good ego [not excessive], they need to be a good teammate to offense and defense [teammates will do better for a skilled quarterback who knows that they are important], they need to handle criticism, and they need to trust in their own abilities which comes from practice, practice, practice.
Always, you will fail and make mistakes, they are learning experiences. I was totally shy in high school and at 18 I bought a book The Shyness Workbook and it was a chapter by chapter skills learning, starting with small steps to the last chapter which was to have a party at my house. The party was not great but I was so excited--I did it and I learned what I'd done wrong.
You should do Harvey Specter
Agreed, though Harvey is quite the piece since he has what characters from GoT don't: the writers on his side.
Spartaco Boh YES!!!!
Literally been trying to get Charlie to do Harvey Specter or Jessica Pearson for the past 6 months but he's on the GOT hype train right now instead. What I will say is dreams do eventually come true lol
So true. I would love to see charlie do analyst on harvey and jessica
correctly!
Margeary knew how to use her beauty and intelligence. That's what I loved most about her.
I feel like she’d be a Libra loool - sugary, calming, romantic sweetness, very beautiful and graceful, but also incredibly intelligent and socially aware. Very focused on the other person in a relationship and can read people like an open book. Genuinely enjoys giving people what they sense they need. Gains power through (and greatly enjoys) relationships. But on the shadow side they may tend to use seduction to get what they want, can be emotionally detached, fake nice, and manipulative.
Are you a libra lmao
The things you said about Pacing and Leading are quite interesting, it's something I've toyed with before but never really constructed such a good definition of it. There's a particular kind of dead-end argument that can be solved using it - an argument that only exists due to different word usage. And this technique is pretty much the only way to break the deadlock. Forget your own lexicon and use the other person's. Deconstructing their ideas using... their ideas.
"We could arrange to have you carried" is the best line ever
I never saw this Movie... but the 'lessons' you point out are wonderful!
I do not try to "control" others... but I DO try to Encourage them, and that sometimes means being able to 'lead' them in a particular direction.
YOU and the way you explain this complex human act is simply the best my friend! Thank YOU 🙏
1 Million!! Huge congrats Charlie :D
Forflies
contact
She is drop dead gorgeous.
I appreciate you sharing these
Cool video dude. Your videos always have something actionable that I can try in real life. I really liked the example that you used with the lady at the moving company. And the side by side talking.