How To Stop Looking Insecure In Conversation
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- Опубликовано: 30 май 2024
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Whether it’s an interview, a first date, or just a conversation with someone you don’t know well, we’ve all had times where things didn’t go well because we were uncomfortable or nervous. That feeling sucks.
So in today’s video we’re going to go through some easy ways to look and feel more confident in those moments where you might have previously felt nervous.
We’ll do this by breaking down clips of Tom Holland.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:00 - Intro
0:22 - #1: Expand in awkward situations
4:58 - #2: Look up and away
6:55 - #3: Bounce between sharing and joking
8:22 - #4: Tell embarrassing stories
8:53 - #5: Re-enact your nerves
10:27 - #6: Commit to your impressions
10:40 - #7: Use a surprised pause
11:35 - #8: Defend people if someone tries to elevate you above them
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#TomHolland #CharismaOnCommand
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• The Art Of Being Funny
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*”You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” - Marcus Aurelius*
Outside world has much higher impact upon our minds than we like to believe.
I was just reading about him… Some of his teachings are definitely worth exploring…
@@robo3919 Very true
What’s interesting having watched dozens of this channels vids is you don’t have to remember ONE specific thing from a video, just the general idea of a situation you’re in and these techniques just sort of come to the forefront naturally. I am consistently put in these situations and these are f*cking gems of ideas. Take heed fellow folks who have regular stranger interactions.This is an extremely well done series. Congrats on the fantastic work!
this is ridiculously accurate.
Gems is a great descriptor for it… literally stuff I’ve never heard framed this way. Very helpful
Does it work for you 👍
@@stockyguru they really do my friend, you may fail the first couple of attempts but there are techniques for countering that too. Like laughing at yourself for saying or doing something awkward. Practice makes perfect. The confidence you will feel after a successful/meaningful interaction will carry over to the next and the next one after that.
@@relocyo55 I’m
Gonna keep watching this videos 🤜🏿
Tom vocalises the inner nervous thought and let's it go. Then people agree with the natural reaction. It's the formula everyone with anxiety is looking for.
Could you elaborate please?
This is great. I'm going to remember this!
i can't vocalise that i am nevours because i am a old virgin man with low social skills no lifer full of traumas and no money for therapy dealing with a situation that is beyond my range of action.. but that might work for a lot of people who have anxiety :)
@@dfo990 If you think you can't. You won't be able to. No one's a lost cause unless they can't get out of their self depreciating loop.
Have fun with your anxiety basically.
How to turn nervousness into confidence
1. Expand in awkwardness
2. When you pause to think about a question, look up and away
3. In sharing vulnerable things, bounce between sharing and joking
4. Telling embarassing stories is a great way to show case your own confidence
5. Reenact your nerves(bring out the past emotions)
6. Even a bad impression can make people laugh and love being around you if cannot commit to it
7. Use a surprised pause
8. Defend the people in your life if someone tries to elevate you above them
😎
🙏🏾ty
The 6th one should be ‘if you commit to it’ not ‘cannot commit’
@@LilSidje maybe they meant you make a sad face and then laugh
I mean, to be honest, he's a well-known star in movies, and yet he's chosen to be an example for this video, I have to speak well for the less well known people
You just have to commit. People can empathize with you if you’re open about how you’re feeling.
Yes! You will then have right people as your friends.
I swear, I see you everywhere!
Tom Holland said : "A good beginning makes a good end" he's so inspiring😢😢😢😢😢
Lol
that is not true. i already experienced (more times) making a good beginning but then it decreased overtime
Unfortunately its not always true.
@@HORSER9999 yyyyyrp
This stuff should be taught in school at every grade level
I feel like people have lost touch and don’t know how to communicate anymore so everything’s just awkward lol
Would explain why we feel so divided, in a technological world where we are all connected
If I’m going into an anxiety inducing situation I never call my nervousness or anxiety those things I always say “I’m excited” “this is going to be fun”
I’ve done it before going on stage and before skydiving. Worked like a charm! Love these videos so much!
“HOW TO ACT NORMAL WHEN YOURE HIGH” would be a good episode
yes🤣
Hahaha
why act normal when you're high
@@Methylglyoxal because you want to keep that your high to some people including police LoL
Hahahaha
“Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
There are soo many quotes i dont care anymore.
@@towarzyszmarcin474 Stay positive my friend!
Ahhh omgoshhh what is wrong with my brain 😆😆 somehow i read this as
"start each day with a positive fart and a grateful heart"
... i mean it rhymes now so that's cool
@@funfings842 unironically good advice
Easier said than done.
*“Life is much simpler when you stop explaining yourself to people and just do what works for you.”*
To literally 1% who saw this comment, I hope you’re having an awesome day.
Thanks
Thanks
👌thanks
The 99% people : 😊🔫
You too ay
To anyone reading, this is a reminder that you are a POWERFUL being experiencing physical reality. Let go of the fear-based programming keeping you stuck. You are loved and supported
I am here for all this Tom Holland content!
As someone who is awkward most of the time, the first tip comes naturally for people like us. It's a way to survive socially. Making people laugh can make an awkward person more likeable. Great tip.
He isn't stressed, he uses self-deprecating sense of humour to make himself look more approachable, he is a movie star, they crave for popularity
Self-deprecating only works if you're good looking. When an ugly person self-deprecates, it makes them even more unattractive.
Oh, you know Tom Holland personally? If not, you're just making stereotypical assumptions in order to judge someone you don't know. Which, in the theme of this channel, does NOT make you seem likeable.
I love watching your channel; you’ve helped me feel/appear more confident starting out in my new career and I can’t thank you enough 💜
This vid helped, but NOT in a way I expected.. I realized I do most of these things innately.
That made me see why I do and it’s bc I’m not afraid to be vulnerable, I’ve had a hard long road with mental illness. That is humbling and freeing; you (hopefully) eventually learn that being yourself just helps people weed themselves out. And that is liberating.
Anyone struggling to see the good in themselves, you got to the end of this comment for a reason- the good is there 💜 🧿you’re strong, you have supporters out there you haven’t met yet 💜🧿
I dont know how mutch I personally improved with your videos, but today I helped a friend trought a hard exam by helping him overcome his nervousness. Thanks for the great advices, sometimes it just clicks that "oh yeaa I should try something like this", and it works like a charm.
Who found themselves smiling while watching this video? It's contagious, isn't it. 😁
I did 👋
I personally will put on music that makes me feel confident like Dean Martin because he always puts off a positive and confident energy. Then I just sing along and imagine his good energy before I walk into a stressful situation. It makes me feel like I can't be as chill as he always was even during stressful circumstances
Binged a bunch of your videos today right before my interview and it went great! I’m always a cram before the test kinda guy. That way it’s fresh.
Stand and walk with your shoulders pulled back and level. Keep your chin level, with your face pointed straight ahead. Walk like you own the world, even if you don't feel like you do. Doing this will make yourself look poised because many people slouch
People can only see what's in front of them. So work on having open body language, making good eye contact, and projecting your voice. You'll look confident even if you're terrified on the inside.
seeking discomfort results in growth 💎💎
Just found this channel. Really great stuff!
One of the best channels of RUclips. I am surprised this is free information.
Indept and detailed videos are so awesome. I think you could make another Robert Jr. Vid
I re-enact my emotions all the time telling my stories without even realizing it. I never found myself especially funny, I just thought I was myself normal but people keep telling me they laugh a lot around me and that i’m funny. I didnt know why 😟 Now I know I act like Tom Holland all the time ahah
I would love to take the course. I follow your course since 3-2 years, and it really helps. But I'm a student and, unfortunately, I don't have enough money for this.
Although, thanks for the videos, it helps a lot.
Hey guys can y'all please, please do a video on James Spader's character of Raymond “Red” Reddington from The Blacklist, i mean not only is he a total badass but he's also super smart and confident and doesn't care what others think of him at all, he would be great to do a video on i think.
Watched and liked, thanks!
“I’m just not a cryer, I got it figured out” that’s awesome gotta use that one
Tom is the best 😂💕 I didn’t know who he was when he really gained popularity and was annoyed seeing so many articles about him. But then a video of an interview popped up and I immediately went into a rabbit hole of interviews 😆 Now it’s happened again with this video and I’m not mad about it.
Dude your videos were everything I needed and have been searching for for so long. I thought I was weird studying celebrities and people on how they speak so I could use it. I wanted to build confidence and always imitated confident people, I thought something was wrong with me but I'm so glad I found you.
Don't forget to just imitate confident people, but also let go of the part of you that thinks it's not confident! Much love man
Bro I used to be awkward and depressed and barley interacted with ANYONE😂 but now I’m confident and know how to talk much love bro!😊
Hello charlie and ben, I really enjoy your videos and i genuinly believe it has helped me become more confident and charasmatic. lately i've been trying to improve on my leadershipskills and would like to ask you guys to make a video on it.
Check out the video on Ted Lasso :-)
Thank you very mich
these videos are so freaking helpful!
You really love Tom Holland!
Tom is the most endearing person in the world 😍
Thanks
Thank you!
I like that you use the same actor as examples for each situation.
You nailed it
Congrats on 5 million!
8:55 bold of u to assume that i am acting like myself 🤣🤣😔
this is so helpfull thank u
1. Expand in awkward situations
a. resist the urge to shrink and look down and talk down to yourself when you make a mistake
b. your reaction should communicate the you are unfazed
c. Don’t try to hide his mistake, you can call It out and find humor in it
d. Your body language communicates whether people will laugh with you or at you
2. Use your mind-body connection to shift nervous energy into excitement.
a. Smile and play happy music to redirect energy.
3. Transform awkward pause into thoughtful pause
a. Pause and look up to communicate that you are thinking
4. Bounce between sharing and joking
a. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerability, can lessen the intensity by adding in jokes
b. vulnerable emotions can earn you respect
5. Tell embarrassing stories
a. Use embarrassing, emotional, or awkward moments as inspiration for charismatic storytelling
b. Activate confident body language
c. choose high impact words
d. embody your characters
6. Commit to your stories and impressions
a. an easy and funny impression to nail is the surprised pause
7. Defend the people in your life when theyre not around
a. Maintains integrity and your disinterest in looking better than your peers and friends makes you looks confident
Tom's a very likable guy!
Thank you so much! I really loved this video lol 😂😂😂
6:27 - I don't cry I work out😂
I should be asleep but I’ve been watching these videos for over an hour now 😂
Please please please, can you talk about how to open up to people without making it awkard ? Everytime I try to talk about my feelings with my friends, they get all awkard and don't know how to react, so I feel like I'm ruining the mood and stop sharing, but then I feel super lonely. They have no problems sharing things with me all the time so I don't know what I'm doing that makes it awkard
It's not always you, sometimes it can be that your friends are awkward because they haven't gotten in touch with their feelings as much as you have. That said, I would first ask yourself what you're wanting to get out of opening up to people?
How to stop looking insecure in a conversation:
Become tom holland
Lots of this, is just genuine and a result of inner work. Focusing on the results misses the deeper point.
Allah bless
Confidence helps us feel ready for life's experiences. When we're confident, we're more likely to move forward with people and opportunities - not back away from them. And if things don't work out at first, confidence helps us try again. It's the opposite when confidence is low.😄😄😄
tysm
Can you do a video on tips to have good conversations with family that u haven't connected with very well I've struggled creating and having conversations because I tend to stutter , say one answers and it makes it hard for my family to have conversations
That's all great in theory but when I'm wigging out, making myself smile does not stop me from wigging out haha
The trick is to look at yourself from an outside perspective and find the humor in the situation. You’ll have a lot more control if you practice that.
🤣🤣🤣 that just made me snarf yo
These are very interesting, especially for someone like me that usually have something to present or talk about something. Can you please do something with the late great Alan Rickman's charisma? There's something very charming about him even if he's quite stoic at first
Any tips for what to say if the other person directly or indirectly says they're worse at me than something but objectively you could argue it's true (e.g. more highly qualified in a topic)? I used to try and reply with 'well no, that's not true' or somehow try and 'equalise' us or downplay my achievement but I think it came across try-hard and brown-nosing so I stopped doing it.
Now there's just a pause where I don't say anything. And then I change topic or try and talk about something they're better at than me at to 'cancel it out'. But I don't know if that really works. I hope I'm not coming across arrogant but I don't know what to say?
I'm British by the way in case that helps. In the UK people are more skeptical and sensitive to brown-nosing than in the USA I think.
I think it depends a lot on context (are you close? What kind of conversation is it? Are they being nice or looking for reciprocation? Is it something they’re insecure about?)
One of my favorite responses is to accept and thank them for the compliment, but then make a joke at my expense and to their benefit but that I’m not sensitive about. For example, I’m the most intellectually inclined of my siblings, but also the least athletic. When someone brings it up, I’ll say something like “thanks, I had to get some extra IQ points because I got none of the athletic ability. If I wasn’t at least smart it would be a cruel world.”
I really enjoy your content - I love to see you do a video about confident story telling using UK comedian Greg Davies
I love ur vids
To the *incredible person* seeing this, I wish you all the best in life❤ don't over blame yourself, accept things and go forward. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn the skills needed and get after it, all the keys to a happy life is in your hands. Keep pushing.
Today I have gone to college for presentation where I got nervous .
Hope this video come earlier on this channel
But anyways thanks for making these type of videos which are very helpful for me .
Love from India 🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳
how did your presentation go?
@@nina1773 Not got any position but got some new learnings and experiences . One day , I want to be good orator. But thanks for asking 😇🤗
@@virajthakur2196 Experience is the best teacher. Hopefully the next one goes great!
Hi 👋 I love your RUclips channel
Great
Hello Charisman on command ! 😁 They should do an analysis of David Goggins and his style of charisma
I cross my eyes while making ducklips, it automatically makes me laugh. It’s life changing. Try it the next time you feel like you’ve made a fool of yourself. You’ll feel silly, on purpose, and it’ll make you laugh and make them laugh.
Alright this guy showed Andrew Garfield, Tobey Maguire, and Tom Holland in the same video!!!! All 3 spider-men are gonna be in NWH confirmed.
lol i’m just kidding i’m just making fun of all the conspiracy theorist lol
Lmao the conspiracy theory was kinda true
Damn, i do this a lot back then,do what i want to do,then i try to be like common people do,that's why i become nervous everytime i met people
*I have a question*
How to properly reply when someone compliment you without being awkward for different personalities?
What helped me is getting in touch with the part of me that was having trouble receiving compliments. Usually this means there is a belief that you are not worthy or that you're not enough. Let go of this and authentically receive the compliment. When it's authentic it doesn't matter if its a "proper reply" or not. Hope that helps and good luck!
I'd say, reenact the negative emotions about the compliment as little as possible and contradict it genuinely by arguing to that or say your appreciation.
Like if someone said "you have a nice hair", you say "wait really(in a joke'y way)" and say "thanks". This response might be a bit NPC'y but you get the idea
Thanks for the reply
I’ve realized I don’t remember all these things I remember one and use it works fine and then when I use it in person I always think of the video but I use the other techniques without knowing like my brain remembers and says “ ima help u our real quick
I feel like a lot of these tips are more suited for extroverts
I am quite introverted but I always live by fake it till you make it when it comes to confidence and it really helps!
Hey can you make videos on sales??
"in spiderman 1, not that i have more than one..."
*LAUGHS LOUD TO AVOID AWKWARDNESS*
I literally do half of these and i thought i wasn’t a confident person
I’m just shy and not that outspoken
What should i do to help me speak my mind and not be such a people pleaser?
Hello Ben and Charlie, I think you should consider making videos on the Professor and Berlin from Money heist series
that tiny spiderman is so adorable wow n childish (in a good way and full if light like a little child i mean 🥰😮😮😲😲😲 so adorable little adult
"Confidence is that feeling by which the mind embarks in great and honorable courses with a sure hope and trust in itself."
-Cicero
Look within my friends ❤️
Sup dude
Unfazed
Hi could you do a character/personality analysis on J-ia from the Netflix show "Single's Inferno" no one did it on her yet and I think it will be amazing if you did it since your channel goes in depth
Will you analyze Dutch vanderlinde?
While you’re at it, why don’t you do one on Zendaya. She’s EXTREMELT charismatic. I love her so much
Crazyyyyyy
Ah yes, an everyday challenge for me
Are you ready for Christmas I hope you have a great day and stay safe out there and merry merry Christmas
I don't think i can love Tom Holland more.
Yeah well... All these advices are good but when you get overwhelmed by your feelings, start to blush when you feel awkward and such.. What should you do next eh?
Did you not watch the video? Who cares if you’re blushing. Also there are several more videos on turning awkwardness to charisma
Own it!
Allow all of those feelings to come up, observe them, and let them go! You are not your feelings, when you are able to observe them you get in touch with the real part of you and the awkwardness goes away. Hope that helps!
you need to know your place, your values, a strong understanding of what talk is going beyond what is acceptable...Only then will you really know when someone is using some deviant chat manipulation or abuse to be able to speak up against it or withdraw yourself from the situation.
you are the only person i want to tell me what to do lol
Hey love from india......i just have one request please if you could do an episode on the epitome of charm and confidence shahrukh khan that'd be great he is a superstar over here in india
and this is why we all love tom holland😌
Magnificent person reading this… The truth is you are confident and good enough already with who you are, where you are at and what you have right now to have the success you want in life. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn that skill and go after it! I believe in you so much! Have an awesome day! - Love, Nat ❤️
There is always room for self improvement however.
@@maxmustermann194 Not for Tom Holland!
I don't know what i want to do with my life
Got it, thanks, but now do I feel about the depression stopping me from doing that.
8:53 what’s the name of the actor on the right?
A video about anjeline jolie?✨ can be really interesting
Mmmmm charisma
Hasn't this been uploaded before? I have Deja-vu
Dubla pra gente do Brasil!
For me it all comes down to: Don't take yourself too serious :)
Epic
How to turn nervousness into confidence:
Be good enough for Zendaya