I believe that if someone is talking badly about another person then they will talk badly about you when you are not around. I wish more people would recognize this
I have reached a point in my life where I am more disgusted when people, who should know me better, just believe what they're told without talking to me. Especially when we're talking about family. I completely moved away from them all and I won't trust them again. Good riddance to them!
Yes it's amazing how a narc (often one they haven't known long) feeds them lies and they INSTANTLY FORGET WHO YOU REALLY ARE and all the good things you've done for them over the YEARS.
I am with you on that one. '??Family??' is nothing but a bunch of cowards. They've made the choice to participate in what's Easy, to follow the Malicious, Venomous lies. Imagine that, talk about a highly disfunctional ??family??. No more, done...
Well many people are dumb, and will believe anything a charismatic person says. Especially if it's something they hear over and over. The narc knows this, that's why they lie. Best thing to do is go no contact with the narc, and be sure to educate the family about them.
@@deeprollingriver52 same here. It went on for years and years (my mom was the narcissist) and she'd been undermining since the beginning. By the time I understood it was too late. I went no contact and even there she cause issues from a distance. There is no safety net for us except us. Just leave and never look back.
What I did is cut off all ties with people who believed the narcissist, that meant also cutting off my relationship with my own family. I never regretted this.
@@cbd1nonlE12 Even my children, yes. Not by choice but the narcissist mother set them up against me. Cutting all ties with the mother meant letting them go too. It hurts of course, but you have to be a realist and continue with life and make the best out of it. Things are how they are.
So true it is the only way to a good life when your family has one too many narcissists in it. For me it was my mother and brother. I went no contact and my life improved 10000% in everyway possible!
Good luck on that...people are so easily manipulated...that's how you weed put the people who are not worthy to be your friend. Bottom line..you have to be your own best friend. I've lived long enough to see all of these people go down in flames caused by their own karma. Just believe in yourself..be patient and you will survive
I’m sorry - but if someone is so quick to believe the narcissist’s lies and is not adult enough to address the rumors to you, then they are not worth keeping as friends. Move on. Here’s one for ya: “Friends don’t let friends become scapegoated;” or “Friends don’t let friends become targets.”
Here's another " Friend's don't let friend's try to have a good time drinking at a BBQ and left thinking everything is going great, having a good time in the presence of a known narcissistic, alcohol only escalates their bad thoughts racing in the brain and makes them want to fight , or beat up on whoever is available and there to blame them for their frustrations.
@@desirreemarlenaclonch7593Amen. They aren’t worth keeping because it never changes. It will happen over and over Trust me. Lived it for 50 years. It never stopped until I stopped it.
@@dtyree3295 Exactly. After a lifetime with a mother that pitted 3 of us against each other one would think others would learn. But my sisters were too invested in staying on my mothers good side. They knew if they didn’t take her side they would be cast out of her life like I was. So I have basically been cut out from all of them and I’m fine with it. Have a nice crowd of friends and other “parent like” figures in my life that love and support me more than any blood relative ever did.
I suffered this for years. Excluded from weddings, left standing alone at my father's funeral, but it's difficult to fight back when it's your family.😢
That's a lot to suffer. Feeling it with you. Did you kow that the root of the word "diabolical" involves acts of "dividing, separating... isolating." So cruel. Jesus Christ is the opposite. Always always seek Him. He is faithful and true. Call out to Him as HEALER. Bless you, and thank you for persevering, and for sharing your testimony here.
Im so sorry. Its painful, I know ❤ Im planning on not even going to my mothers... its terrible to bear this sorrow in advance :/ I just cant. Our mom is 85 and weakening, I cant find peace to care for her , its so hard.
Do not underestimate the supernatural powers at work in and through the narcissist. They have an ability to charm that is evil. You are in spiritual warfare against spiritual beings working in the narcissist.
Not always but when it comes to gossip due to jealousy or prejudice, yes. But ppl must tell the truth about perpetrators or else their will never be justice. It depends on motive and person.
I couldn’t have put it better. If you are a kind and nice person like the person mentioned in this video and all of a sudden others turn against you because of the words of a toxic person, then those people are also toxic. Get the hell away from them. Doesn’t matter if they are family or long term friends. You were in a toxic situation and you’ve just found out. Start fresh with new people and look out for red flags.
Exactly! When I left my narcissist they of course took all the friends with them. What I learned is those weren’t real friends in the first place … misery loves company!
Not necessarily. They’re professional manipulators and know exactly what to say to turn each individual against you. It isn’t a one lie fits all type scheme. If one person is an animal lover, they’ll adapt their own behavior to come across to them as someone who is like them, and then they’ll slowly poison them against you. A lot of times it isn’t even obvious to the other person that they’re trying to turn them against you.
What blows my mind about this is how easily people are manipulated, fooled, & believe that awful stuff. I’ve had this happen to me. It’s awful. Thanks for the video.
@@jackiek3407 SAME HERE & many are family because to the narc it is not your family it is their family. & then it spreads out like tentacle's to your work place, friends(?) & neighbors. No way of escaping it.
@@RideoutMrso what do you do? 😢 this year as been awful. It takes more of a toll to realize this has been in the works since last year . When the world fell for me this year I instantly felt like Micheal Douglas in the movie the game and I’ve felt that way since , but that is literally the only way to kinda describe how I felt and still feel, trying to put my best foot forward all year just to feel mocked or patronized, and just plain old “being fucked with” I do try to focus on the silver lining though At least now I know who my friends are and I know how resilient I am but it is tuff
Don't do anything about it. If people are so disloyal to you they'd be willing to jump on the hate train with a narc, you're not missing out on anything.
I can't help but go back to something that my grandmother taught me when I was a child. If someone who actually knows you believes something someone else tells them about you, why would you want them even in your life? If they are that easily influenced by someone else you do not need them as a friend.
My soon to be ex-wife is the lead actress. Lied got me arrested & order of protection. I haven't seen my kids in 5 months. She's poisoning them & doesn't care about hurting them to hurt me. They are my everything! My mother in law physically attacked me 4 months before this happened cops wouldn't do anything with 100% proof it happened. Then 4 months later they lie get me arrested even have live video of her attacking me again that day of arrest. It's horrible how narcissists get away with everything. There should be prison time for narcissists & the emotional, physiological, & physical abuse they cause. The children are the ones that are the actual victims from these monsters
Yes she’s my mother a scorpion 🦂, and her two assistants (my sisters 👯♀️) full of jealousy and hatred towards me all of my life, got my ex husband to do the same, (turned out he was just like them). Wrecked my whole life, and messing with my children’s , even brainwashing them against me . She just won’t let us live in peace😢
People underestimate how much work narcissists do to undermine someone. It takes more dedication and work with more people and situations than most could imagine. If only they were capable of using that for good.
If they were capable indeed to use their energy for doing good, this would be wonderful. The world would be a different place. Unfortunately, they're evil and completely hopeless cases. All we can do is avoiding them and if that's not possible, defend ourselves with all the strength we've got. God bless 🙏
I had my mother and sister turn all of my extended family against me. None of my other siblings stuck up for me. So I walked away from them. Best decision I ever made, I finally have peace in my life.
same here there was definitely a period of grief. I miss them as I thought they were. I dont really care for their new versions. not worth my devotion. except for my parents. they can always count on me.
Same thing happened to me. My sister always had a cruel streak and I wondered if they truly believed that I was a bad person or they were afraid of my mom, liked seeing me excluded and not treated well or all of them are narcissists too. It hurts and I glad that you’re doing better!
My mother has been on to this since I was 5 years of age. I am 55 now, and she is still at it, maligning me and spreading rumors about me everywhere till I have no friend or extended family left
@@monsterhunt8624 I can empathize. I don’t know if my mom spread the lies, but she certainly believed everything a sibling told her. Life is difficult when the family functions under the assumptions they’ve made without ever saying a word or giving an opportunity for clarity. I took the stance that if they loved me (as they professed), someone would have asked the questions. They never did, so I never offered my truth. Here’s the sad part… my mother died believing the lies, and her last words to me were “I love you,” which of course I didn’t believe. I’m okay with my decision to allow them to believe whatever. I had years of time to deal with what it was. But forgiveness is a harder battle. That’s on me (and you), but it’s important for our own future peace. I know she did her best. And my sibling no longer has any control - with her gone and no direct contact for thirty years. The “game” ended at my mother’s funeral. I remember standing out there on a hillside plot like a combat vet that has returned home. To heal we must find a way to forgive, and walk away from those who refuse our truth. Godspeed.
Sheesh 🙄..I got shot at by two punks..I told this so called mom and her reaction was smirk 😏 saying with that 😏 they should have not missed..come to find out those punks are friends of her youngest son..🤣🤣🤣
@@monsterhunt8624 That is sadly common. If you are a child with a good memory they are terrified that you will speak of their abusive behaviour; so they have to paint you as a fantasist; a liar; head in the clouds. Literally all children live in a fantasy world half the time whilst at play, so people believe the propaganda without question. The years pass and they are just in the habit of believing all the crap that is said about you. The longer it goes on the less likely that they will question anything because they'd have so much processing to do. It should be a red flag for abuse whenever a parent maligns a toddler! It sounds like cutting her out of your life is long overdue.
I was married to a narcissistic man for almost 40 years. When I filed for divorce he went crazy and did all the things you mentioned here. I lost absolutely everyone in my life. It was painful but I've moved on. Eight years later with three years of intensive therapy I have finally found what real love is. Losing my son was the hardest..that he believed his father who didn't ever give a dang about him until he needed a flying monkey. I love you Justin no matter what.
WOW..thank you for your testimony. I lost my son and Ohana also. I talk a brave talk in my comments yet it's still very painful. Even after all these years. Cody...I will always love U unconditionally...even though. May our sons find this & a seed of forgiveness grows in their hearts. U are not alone sister. I love U w God love. Let's put into fruition that this storm passes soon. You've a stranger out here that gets you. 💪🙏💜🙌🤟😘
That was the realization that I had. It turned out that they were never friends in the first place. It was a bitter pill of truth. The hardest ones though were supposed family and I mean close family like a father, sister, nephew, niece, 1st cousin.
Thank you for your condolences. As it's not an ACTUAL death yet a death of dear & covered relationships, children family that we lose. I appreciate you & know you are NOT alone. 💪🙏💜🙌🤟😘
My narcissistic brother turned my own mother and family against me. And she believed him because he has money and gives her everything she wants. It was devastating. How could my own mother and family believe that I stole her jewelry? But, in time, I got over it, moved on. I’ve no contact with any of those people. It turned out that he did me a favor. I removed myself from the toxic environment, found happiness and peace. I developed friendships that a good and lasting, I’ve become strong and confident. Thank you bro!
sorry for your families treatment everybody’s different, wth different situations. In my case I have gone no contact or very little contact. Separate yourself, understanding, that the narcissist must have a scapegoat. That’s you. If you confront them, it will not get better, rest, assured, nobody will apologize. Work on yourself, love yourself, seek God and build new friendships. One by one. Don’t tell too many people about the narcissistic family, they may not get it, and you will feel even more diminished.
@@clint120 you are 100%. The pain comes from thinking things will turn around and one day you’ll be vindicated. I remember thinking that, like a TV show, everyone will come together and realize I’m the injured one. Nope. It’s not going to happen. Thinking you can return after years of separation and hoping that magically, everyone realizes how wonderful you are. There is no justice there. Just turn and walk down a path to a new, beautiful you. It takes time. Time will heal you.
I just say in a calm voice to people who try to make me look bad in front of me "you don't make yourself look better by putting me down" and then I smile and move on.
@@Potencyfunction Politely describing what a bully is doing is not, 'doing harm' and the op literally said that they walked away. Was your comment meant to be helpful or judgemental? And what on Earth is a warm?
Don’t do anything. Don’t play into anything. Observe and then separate yourself from that group and spend time with people not remotely connected to that group. Stay away long enough for them to miss you, don’t ask questions, let them figure out on their own that they have been had by the narc. The narc always needs a target, if you are out of their field of vision they will find a different target and repeat the behavior, before long others in the group will pick up on it…and it gets old.
You are correct. My mother in law did this to my mother. Very painful to see my mother so easily duped, but it was a flaw in her character that let her be fooled that easily. I simply left her alone for years trusting that my mother in law will eventually show her true colors...and she did. A lot of time wasted waiting, but there is nothing you can do to get a true narc to stop targeting you except go "grey rock" on them, and they will eventually find a new target.
"spend time with people not remotely connected to that group" What do you do when you find out that they are connected to that group and have been all along?
Then you are not spending time with people not remotely connected to the group, you need to find another group slightly more unlikely for them to be connected to.
@@juliadplume3097 Society is pretty easy to map out these days. Facebook works hand-in-hand with "intelligence", who work hand-in-hand with the mafia. And in the unlikely event that you've slipped through the cracks of that network, someone in most social circles uses banned substances (i.e. substances that the government gives the mafia a monopoly on and thereby a network reaching every user and all of every user's contacts), and they can lean on people using narcotic enticements or physical or legal threats.
I just deleted every single foto on my pc or cut the narcisstic friend out! Took the gifts she gave me and personally drove to the tipper and dumped ALL. That was especially empowering💪she wants to gaslight and cut me out without an explanation.... hey, so can I!
I have experienced this with my sister and it was very painful as I thought we were very close. I ended up walking away from everyone who believed her lies. I haven't talked to her for the past 4 years.
Me too. My sister is NOT who I thought she was. She has manipulated her husband to allow her to continue in immoral practices within her marriage. I haven't spoken to her for almost a year and her own kidz warned me of her battle. I pray for them. I'm doing well even my health has improved
@@christinaduncan8285 The sad part is I was always there for her through thick and thin. But I hold no I'll will towards her. I guess it was time to move on.
This is my sister and mother to a T. Even when I was extremely unwell and hospitalised with mental health issues, my sister spent 40 minutes on the phone to a senior member of the medical team, trying her best to persuade that I was fabricating my illness and what a bad person I was. Needless to say, the medical team were not impressed, and my sister only served to confirm to the staff that I was indeed the victim of a very toxic family.
This sounds like my family only my brother is the narcissist and a drug addict, who I tried to have found out either for legitimate help or so he could not get drugs at all and maybe end up in jail away from my parents… Hopefully your doctor didn’t believe her and you were able to GET THE HELP YOU NEEDED 1because my bother’s doctor sure didn’t believe my cries for actual help… That is until he quit seeing him a few months ago after getting drugs from him for years… That doctor probably believes me NOW. Ugh
For me, the worst people are the ones who don't want to intervene, thinking doing nothing is better, but aligning themselves with the one creating drama.
I finally asked myself what was it about ME that attracted a narcissist? That’s where the work to heal began. I eventually became self loving & accepting & can now sense & avoid 👿 energy a mile away. Blessings & ☮️ to everyone!
I asked myself the same question. I learned that I was easily manipulated because I was naive and a people pleaser. I trusted him at his word. I was used. Now I’m suspicious of even nice guys
It's called to feed their egos and to take away your energy and positivity vibes and to control your life in order to ellivate their egotistical narcissistic personality They are true energy vampire's and they have to have more than one feeder to keep them in supply
You’re wrong there when you say “narcissists fail to comprehend the consequences of their actions” I’m pretty sure they are fully aware and spend a lot of time manipulating everyone around them to suit their agenda.
I saw my narc stepmother in hell two weeks after she died. It was important that I understood that she chose to be a narc. Now I view all narcs as evil, not mentally ill.
They KNOW EXACTLY what they're doing, I've actually witnessed the evil smirk after their actions!! Pure Poison, is what is inside them, ⚠️ nothing else
The narcissist is unable to feel, inside themselves, what they have done to their prey and how far and wide their damaging actions reverberate. That’s what they can’t comprehend in terms of “consequences”, because they can’t feel that depth of their own schadenfreude and its destruction. They’ve moved on to the next campaign.
People who judge you like that, because of lies and manipulation are absolutely not worthy of your friendship. Period!! Let them go 😖 They will eventually be put through the same abuse by the narcissist. That's when they will see the light
WOW,.I didn't look at it that way yet I see it happening to my narcissist. He's lost everything. Owns nothing. Works very hard yet is missing all his front teeth since I left him. I'm not saying I wished this on him. I'm thinking you're right. Karma always seems to put these monsters in a humility check.
Omg! I’ve always been told “watch how someone treats their friends and you will be next” And “watch how someone treats their dog and you Will be treated the same” Walking away from the narc and their minions is the ultimate action of Self Love!!! Don’t give a damn about what they say. When they running you down, they are leaving someone else alone.
Giving up gives the evil spirit working through the narcissist more power to do evil. This is spiritual warfare and God’s love and wisdom should be called upon.
Anyone who turned against you, TRUST ME!! They were never, ever your friend!!! They were waiting for a reason to turn against you and look down on you!! The Narcissist did you a favor!! Because that person was already a narcissist in the first place. I mean the one they turned against you... A Good Person would have came to you and told you what the Narcissist was saying behind your back!! Good people don't just suddenly turn on a friend because some stranger comes into the picture...
That is not only a sign of how narcs are crazy but they’ll never get better. There is one recovering narcissist here on YT who has a channel and who provides a lot of information and insight on what makes these people tick. But he is one of the rare ones who was able to realize he had NPD and start working on himself. Wish to God my fiancée’s older sister would get help someday. But she’s too busy turning the whole family against me. The pain these POS monsters can inflict on others, especially an empath like myself, is truly devastating and heartbreaking. I hope you’re doing much better nowadays. 🙏
Btw, it’s been 22 years since my divorce and I keep telling people how wonderful my ex-wife/high school sweetheart is. I still talk to her to this very day.
This happened to me. And it took years for me to sus-out that he actually went to such lengths to hurt my reputation. My Ex destroyed my friendships and sabotaged my support network. As a single mother without family, this has been devastating to me and our child. Horrible
My ex teamed up with my perv brother and ive been through stuff that should only exist in movies. Most my kids are grown now and it's strange to explain the deal to their inlaws. I had a really hard life. College classmates, work friends, other scout or sports parents, people neither ever met or know have been my support.
I’m in the same position, the isolation is crippling at times, the pain so intense, I have never known anyone of this caliber, have never been hurt by anyone at this level, it’s evil. Being thrust into single motherhood by this demon, after being the brains and brain behind our very nice life, crushing. Prayers to all unsuspecting victims of these vile cretins
That is something that bugs and confuse me alot... how can people just belie e such noncense? Love would make sure and try to help or guide you on the right path again...as God tells us to do.. but to be painted bad and everybody k ows something about you that looks horrefying makes you really feel bad and disgusted in people for not even distinguishing that it isa lie...This is a very evil trade or demon to live by for any person to even think lies will make them powerful or beter than others
You know ...people sometimes kill themselves over crap like this ...narcissists ( ANY kind ) are very dangerous people . They are capable of ending your life , figuratively or literally , one way or another . And people that have had their own experience with a narc know this to be true.
It’s their intent to drive targets to suicide They are murderers and very dangerous ppl. If they can murder someone using a proxy they will They are full of demons
I think my brother will eventually end his own life. He is professionally and financially successful, plus has that oozing narcissistic charm. He turned family, friends and even the pastor against me with outrageous lies. How could anybody who knows me believe him??? It has been 10 years now. I heard that he is drinking heavily and is unhappy with his life. I pray for his soul.
No one can convince me to dislike someone who has never wronged me. If you're influenced to go against someone you have no problems with, you're just as messy as the narcissist.
It's true but a little black and white. I had a lovely friend for 30yrs who was so so funny and generous. When I met her she was a very quiet 18yrs old yet aggressive and fragile, the product of an alcoholic father and a sometimes neglectful mother. The first time I went on a night out with her I told her that the girl looking at her might be admiring her hair or something so why was she assuming something bad? I went to the toilets with her 100s of times while she checked her make-up and never complained. I sometimes challenged her tactfully because that was what she needed. She became more secure over the years, and her shell softened. She had children, started eating properly, became her hilarious self, but was always very wary and distrustful. It's hard to trust people when you grew up with parents that you could not rely on and who never had your best interests at heart. Deep down I guess she thought a good friend in her corner was just too good to be true. One day my sister said horrible things about her dressing like a ho and I disagreed saying that since she worked out so much she earned the right to wear skin-tight clothes. They weren't revealing just very Sandy-at-the-end-of-Grease. She looked frickin awesome, and once made a car crash into a post in a car park because of her apple-bottom-jeans. I nearly died laughing. Anyway, fearing I would drop her in it, sister dear framed me. Yes my friend was messy with issues, but I loved her anyway and her children. It was just easier for her to revert to believing that she couldn't trust anyone than figure out that my sister is a coward who will literally say anything to save herself. I hoped my friend would realise the truth by remembering what I once told her about how my sister pointed to 2 young women and said, 'women that dress like that deserve what they get,' and I scolded sister for her attitude. My friend said that my sister was probably envious because she is AA cup. But this was decades ago and I guess she forgot. I also hoped she would realise that as someone who is mostly oblivious to what people wear, it's utterly preposterous that I would comment in such a way. This video is great and all, but when you are suddenly ghosted and don't find out why for years, there's not a lot you can do. It's been 12 years and at least I have tons of funny stories.
This has happened to me and it's so horrible it's made me physically sick! My ex turned everyone he could against me. Even my doctors! My children and friends! He would throw away my clothing,stole my antiques and gaslit me to the extreme! There is so much more like many attempts he tried to kill me. Not kidding.
PEOPLE who are not narcissists often will bash themselves thinking what's come at them at first is some kind of joke, so they joke on untruths, the narcissists and other criminals don't need help.
Have you seen Jill Wise? The Enlightened Target on RUclips? She is a Wonderful Coach, her videos are very helpful; her ex husband did the same to her…hopefully she can help you!!🙏
I’m so sorry and I do believe you! Not just my own mom but he called My doctors and told them I was a drug dealer. They didn’t believe him, but I felt like throwing up. To be so invasive makes me now, paranoid of everything.
If you can quit and move to other work... Bad if you cannot, because mister spying agent got his network and makes flying monkeys around, then...so easy is it not. Unless, you have got a very good lawyer willing to take up with the issue, meaning you have money.. and sometimes even this wont solve it..
We lost our only daughter & granddaughter to a narc. He completely tore our family apart while all the while coming across as educated & charming. Happened 30yrs ago, still mourn the loss.
Today is the 2nd day of not ever seeing my narcissist daughter and grandchild. I defended myself so now it’s OVER and I’m relieved. It’s going to be rough at times but I’m not looking back.
Thank you for explaining it so clearly! My ex still continues to spread rumors and lies. It’s been 20 years. The important people finally saw through his lies. Everyday is a another day to stay calm and remember he will be judged someday for every lie he has spoken. That’s where my peace is.
Mine did that, and then one day I calmly said: " You do realize I know just as much about your weaknesses as you do mine right? How about I start telling them to EVREYONE?. I have plenty of time to let everyone know every single one of your weaknesses". It wasn't planned but I was amazed how well it worked. I never heard from him again, either directly or indirectly through someone else.
My ex will do that anytime he gets a chance. He has one of our daughters to pick up where he left off too. I’m extremely guarded when I’m around her and very cautious about what I let her know about me
Remember when you are letting go and protecting yourself....that God says that our fight is not against flesh and blood but rulers and principalites in the dark world and wickedness and evil in high places...our fight is not against the person it is against the evil one satan...pray fornthose that betray us and sin against us... they will be judged...DO YOUR SPIRITUAL WARFARE DURRING YOUR PRAYER TIME AND ALL, DAY LONG IF YOU HAVE TO.. REBUKE THE DEVIL AND HE MUST FLEE...MUST! FLEE!
Unfortunately this is just another form of abuse they use to ruin you in every way. The worst part is the BETRAYAL OF PEOPLE WHO YOU THOUGHT WERE YOU TRUE FRIENDS, FAMILY, ETC. IT IS TRUE THAT “ THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT TRUE LOYALISTS AND FRIENDS TO YOU”!! IT ALL HURTS THE SAME A HORRIBLE GRIEF AND SHOCK TO GO THROUGH
Ok... WHO DOES THIS SHIT THOUGH!..! NOBODY I KNOW DOES...Bu5 thts because ive taken my precious self and my precious heart out of the company of those that do...and either surrounded myself with myself or am spending my time and life with people who dont do these things. THESE type of people are 100% EVIL...i ask myself if i would be able to be friends sibling or partner or spouse to anyone eho behaves or acts in this manner and my responce to myself is allways the same" HELL NO"...MY BIGGEST concern is , is these are grown ass adults behaving like this..they even go to CHURCH .. and praseujarah the same God i do.. Capital YUCK! it makes me ill to even visualise them doing so...my question is this.. being that we all know this behavior is wrong and should never do it.., even with out God in our lives, people are not all fools, but saying that you have a relationship with God, and you purposely methodically ostracise TERRORIse and emotionaly abuse your dearest family members or ANYBODY for that matter!!!, Do you really think that God turns his direction off of you for those times that you do these evil things to people and he blinds himself of your actions and your lukewarmativity toward his commandments... and just forgets your shit? And do you think that your that special that he is going to change his ultimate plan and commandments for the Universe...on YOUR day of recconning, just so you may torture horrang and ostracize YOUR sibling? OR a daughter? Or A son? A mother? A father? My Bible tells me he is going to SPEW YOU OUT OF HIS MOUTH LIKE VOMITT AND POISON! IN your TIME of recconning....we serve the same God!!!.. Dont be used by Satan and become the Hugest Shame and an ultimate liability to the Heavenlys, therefore you will be cast out and be tortured ostracised and horranged 7 times the measure you have measured out to those you have harmed in this manner ...7 times harsher than you did unto your sibling...7 times! Wow...! It really SUCKS TO BE YOU!..GROW UP! AND QUIT BEING DOUBLE MINDED AND CRUEL! GOD IS NOT TURNING HIS HEAD AND YOU ARE NOT THAT SPECIAL THAT HE WOULD. TREAT PEOP,E HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED! ASSHOLE
@randyn-ry7cv - I am sorry for your experience with abuse. Narcissists come in all shapes and sizes. Its not a cookie cutter shape where everyone fits into a mold. For example, my narcissist mother was not religious, not into church, but more into the spirituality of all that Crystal crap, yoga, chackra, whatever bullshit. Tarot cards, mediums, all of it. She made excuses for her behavior, as if it what was meant to happen. Assault, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, mental abuse, I was told I would be "gotten rid of" in every way you can think of and more. AND THAT THIS WAS WHAT THE BLAH .. BLAH... BLAH... SAID needed to happen to me. So I needed to be grateful for the abuse. It could be much worse, she said, referring to those Christian families. The Christian Families don't sexualize their children in elementary school; so I to be grateful for who (adult) was interested in me at 8 years old. My point is... Narcissists will USE anything to abuse. I'm older now, with a child of my own, I rebelled and became a born-again Christian. I have heard horror stories of parents who go to church like you stated and are narcissists. They are who they are and nothing would have changed them to be better. You couldn't have done anything to prevent the abuse from happening to you. I am so very sorry for all that you went through. I hope that you find peace. Jesus Christ gave me my peace, to live. I hope you can find peace and know that some Christians want what is best for you. I certainly do. (I don't think your narcissist that abused you was a true Christian. Just for the record.) May you find peace and tranquillity. Much Love to you. And stay safe. 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
@@marthaanderson2967 Well nicely said! Although it would be A WHOLE LOT NICER if they were segregated completely and forever from society....We Just do not need the extra interfereance ( the people who have applied principles and have put in a huge amount of thier life time to NOT BE LIKE THEM, AND HAVE EXCELLED BECAUSE OF IT!) YOU just cant reason with these bung holes... they bought and paid for the stupid LANE they drive their sorry selves!
Sit down with a therapist to clear your head. Then, either throw the narcissist out or pack your stuff and leave. I'm telling you from experience it won't change, or get better, and it really is a choice of survival -- it's me or you if you will.
@@pamela5568 Thanks for the kind words and suggestions. If I could do such a thing financially I would. The damage done is far more extensive than just psychological.
@pabo8080 you can do it. Call your county mental health facility and get a therapist. They work on a sliding fee scale based on your income. You can also utilize 12 step meetings such as CODA and ACOA. It all starts with your mental health.
Pull close to Jesus.. this is a precursor to what the End is going to be like.... you can do all things through him who strenghtens YOU... NOT THEM YOU! YOUR STRONG.... AND YOUR GOING TO BE MIGHTY BEFORE ITS ALL OVER! AND YOU WIN WITH JESUS...PRAY FOR THIER SOULS. HELL WASNT MADE FOR ANY HUMAN... everyone wil. Have the time to see for themselves and the choice is up to your heart what will be the ending of your story! A Either way darling one you have Eternity...not all of them WILL!
One of the sad things about this is that losing one's support system is not only incredibly painful emotionally but it can also eventually cause one to become at risk physically, especially when one gets older. It's really important to have a support system in your older years so that people can watch out for each other. It's important in your younger years too but when you are older it can be even more risky to be alone. Having no one to advocate for you when you are in the hospital or a nursing home can be dangerous, especially if your are very ill, and living alone with no one to check up on you is also more risky. It's sad that people who once had a support system can lose it all because of one person. The fact that so many people are so easily influenced is frightening.
I first shook off a narcissist friend after 2 years and my family warned me and supported me afterward, then covid hit and my family and friends did the same thing to me but I had learned my lesson by then. My husband and neighbours and employees pulled me through. they are awesome. its a tricky world sometimes.
My sister and I compare what is said to us. Mother is always fishing us about each other and hates it if we are shopping or out to eat,lm 63 and sister is 55. It never stops.
@@audreyp7071 My heartfelt prayers to you, me too...their goal is that you lose everything, that feeds their ego. My faith in Jesus Christ gets me through...a wonderful peace and joy that surpasses all understanding is real. God bless you
It’s as if you’re explaining exactly what has happened to me. It feels like God has sent this video to me. Thank you. It’s comforting to know I am not alone.
I will not apologize to anyone, when i am not at fault. Nkr will i expain myself to anyone any longer. Either u for me or against. Thats why i only have a few people in my circle.
They brainwash you to believe that they are right always. Don’t be sad, get out and be happy that they are out your life. They lie and lie but you know the truth. Praying for you 🙏❤️
Say this to yourself... it's me or you. Survival. They will not change, or get better. Throw the person out of your life (and house if necessary), or pack your stuff and leave. I went through 7 years of that crap with my first husband and it came down to me choosing me.
I've been dealing with this for over 4 years now. Unfortunately I have a son to the person in question and cant just walk away....that is if I hope to have a healthy relationship with my son. Best thing is to keep your distance from the person as much as possible though. For self preservation purposes. I'm praying for her also, and hoping that God can do a miracle in her heart. All things are possible with God. Get some space for yourself if you can and try to get some support. Even a counsellor if there's no one else to bounce things off. You need support.
Maybe your son wouldbe better off without that narc in his life also? God did arrange a perfect solution. narc divorced me and claimed another man was the father. He was not but became the adopted father and grandfather!!!! Great 40 + years.
Walk even run away from these demonic creeps you don't need them and their nasty demonic crap and you will find peace and quiet you haven't known before
Weak rather than evil. Just self-absorbed; desperate to always control the narrative about how perfect they are; and able to justify the hurt that they do because they are punishing a person whom they see as deserving of the punishment; who needs to learn a lesson. It's all about twisted, delusional thinking that makes them variously white knight, judge, jury and executioner.
Ya know what pulls that plug real fast - do something spontaneous when the Narc has a special occasion planned. Such as show up to their party when you clearly were not invited & be happy, talk to everyone like a day never passed. This for sure will throw the Narc in a complete tizzy ! I did this once & the Narc was in complete shock & some true colors came out & they were the ones that looked embarrassing.
If they would be conciuoss than they would not cause damages everywhere. How stupid can they be, to keep abusing others and nothing happend to them? If they end up in jail one by one, than maybe they will be recovered at brain in jail, since they are so stupid.
My mother used to always tell me that if someone treats you badly stay away from them. This is an excellent piece of advice when dealing with a narcissist. I know personally because I have a daughter who is a full-blown narcissist in the only way I can deal with her is to stay the hell away from her.
Janet and Mary z, I too have a 40 odd year old daughter who kept asking me to visit her she kept phoning me at 2 o'clock in the early morning playing music and not speaking ! She had drank alcohol beforehand ? And turning my other Chiodren against me ? She's done a great job because I've not seen my other 3 Sons and their Children for years ? Sad really ? I also found a long lost Sister in Australia and after just a few conversations I knew she was a full blown Narcissist for sure ! So, I cut her off hope you both find peace xx
I think you are supposed to time them out when they are little so that they become well-adjusted adults. I'm always a little skeptical of parents complaining about their children. Did you raise her or did someone else? Are you reaping what you sowed?
Going through the narcissistic trauma, and the ensuing abandonment, is like the grief one feels of a loved one who died. The target's treatment is more devastating than others realize.
Not all people experience this type of spiritual and emotional and psycological abuse. I think females Th a t jave been raised by mothers lot of times are conyinuing the abuse and gettinglife partners just like tĥe nsp mother. They feel comfortable living in kaos.. being treated as insignificant, being abandoned, being treated shitty, all the things a nsp does its like psycological MURDER.
Yes , I am grieving the loss of the fantasy that my sister will want to be loving and caring. She did horrible things even moved in w our mother and neglected her saying later it was her time to die. She said she left early and came home late not to see her. If only I knew My sister made it seem she was caring for her.
@@JnTmarie My little brother dropped me out of a second story window because I wouldn't get out of bed. Though that isn't narcissism, it is being a jerk.
It is even more awful when it is your own mother who does this. But God has a plan for her and for all the rest of this so called family I was born into.
Had I learned these things earlier I wouldnt find myself surrounded by them unknowingly. It's tough. Really tough. Family, friends, exes, Ive been a mega magnet my entire life and just realized.
.......“When you are up to your ass in alligators it’s difficult to remember that your initial objective was to drain the swamp” I'm 74 and I can see now the "man behind the curtain" ...it is horrible what was done to my life. I am at peace now, but wary of people.....
you probably noticed the signs and gut feeling but ignored it. you have to re learn to trust your gut feeling. There is always something that feels warped or fake about them. Eventually you can recognize that from a mile away.
My narcissist sister turned EVERYONE in my family against me, sisters, brother, cousins, ants, uncles, and even childhood friends. She's now trying to find my network in social media so she can befriend them and turn them against me also. It's like she's one of satan's demons, literally. I cried out to God for justice and claimed scripture verses including the curses of Deuteronomy 28 on her.
Do not curse her, just bless her in your prayers. Jesus said to pray for our enemies and bless those who curse us. If you want to be effective start blessing her in love. No not in person, continue to keep your distance but by prayer. That puts the ball in God's court and He will stand for you and bless you way more than if you are trying to curse her. In the OT they cursed and did the eye for an eye but now in the new covenant Jesus wants us to keep our heart clean and be above getting dirty and even and bless our enemies because He knows they are only harming their own selves. They are reaping what they sow. You may not see it but they are hurting themselves and even their bloodline. The best thing to do in prayer is speak to God and allow Him to guide you in praying. Pray that God shake this sister and cancel every lie and slander she's spoken of you to others and that God brings her tough correction in order to save her soul. That she soon realize that God is real and standing for you and if she does not repent she will be liable for the vengeance of God. Above all move in love and you will be rewarded.
The information about you doesn't have to be lies, the bad things about you can be true, it's just that the narcissist will FOCUS ON those more negative things about you to turn others against you.
They love to use victimless crimes against their targets. Many narcissists are puritans and puritans are the easiest people to recruit as "flying monkeys".
This happened decades ago to me, a family member turned the rest of the remaining family against me with great success. I didn't understand or know the name and mechanics of what they did until now. Thank you for the clarity of understanding that.
Me too, I was and am absolutely amazed at how willing others were to believe the lies (both family members, in-laws and family friends) all fell for this. The hurt was deep and, yes it made for a lonely life for us and our children. Even my young daughter's funeral became an opportunity for a grand display of friend and family unity against us. I.e. causing a scene in the church! Over the many years since then I have lived "beyond the pale"...as It became obvious to me that any contact with me or anyone who knew me, stirred up more stories and lies. Sadly, these extended to our country of origin, to turn aunties and cousins against us. I consider myself the strong one to have outlasted the effects of this, my strength comes from Jesus alone, as He suffered lots of these tactics against Him, culminating in His death. There is a peace over many years in leaving your reputation in Gods loving hands, knowing that He sees, He knows, this causes us to be able to live our life anyway. One thing though, never try to explain your family situation to those who have a normal family, they just don't get it. God bless you, beloved.
@@r.stevenson8159 It's great when you meet someone who does get it though. The first time my husband met my sister, when she left he asked what her deal was. He was bf at that time and I was so happy that he saw straight through her without me saying a word. I could have married him then and there!
This exact thing happened to me. My ex-sister-in-law is a malignant narcissist. She's horrible. And she went about telling everyone horrible lies about me, leaving out key details that shed me in a good light,. I saw, screw them. I don't want friends who won't come to me to find out what is going on in MY life. I cut them all free and I won't interact with them anymore. I'm so sick of this high school-level crap.
Ex act ly ( word intentionally separated into syllables ). Ex partners "act ," as if you are the worst person on the planet because you refuse to tolerate their poor behavior(s). 🙄🙄🙄 I left my high school emotions in my past. 🙂
Those demons are extremely aware of the consequences of their actions. They may lack empathy, but do not be deceived, they do what they do simply because they don't care. Their greatest pleasure is to observe the harm and hurt they inflict on others through projecting their evil deeds onto others and constantly spreading lies. Just like their master, they exist to kill, steal and destroy.
I'm 79 yrs old ur right. That's what my only child a sons done to me. His dad was a narcist 25 yrs of that now 33 yrs of him who is far worse.. I'm all alone almost penniless waiting for Jesus to rescue us. This world he said would end up with people lovers of self that's a sign of him coming to take us away.
This happened to me. It’s shocking to experience. I ran a meet up group that was open to everyone and I created opportunities for everyone. I invested my time, money and effort to making sure everyone found joy when they came out. Friendships and acquaintances. People said nice things about me. Then I met a man in the group that love bombed me. He assured me we were a couple, he would marry me, he thought I was amazing and to prove it to me took me overseas to meet his family in England and Ireland at his nephews wedding. They included me in the wedding pictures as “family”. On the trip I found he was controlling, he did not want me out of his sight, he didn’t even want me to walk outside by myself. He was clingy and controlling. He refused to let me see or do what I wanted to see or do. I wasn’t allowed to even go swimming in the hotel pool because him and his sister made a tight schedule for me without my agreement. I played it cool. Didn’t rock the boat because they started scaring me. Got back and when I felt safe burst into tears. He went around telling my members bad things about me and of how generous he was to me and he said I was ungrateful. I should obey him. He broke up my group. He convinced many of bad things about me that I never did. He posted online me in embarrassing ways that were not true. For a man that went out his way to prove he loved me and wanted to marry me, his behaviour was shocking. There is more, but you get the idea. In the end it seems he did all this because he wanted to take me over and control me. He saw me as kind, and he misjudged it as weakness. Stay strong my friends. I learned a lot my friends. Love your self FIRST before anyone. Everything else’s will fall into place when you know YOU have your back. Don’t let these manipulators bully you. They act like a good kind person to get what THEY want from you, but you will soon see their true colours. They have their own back and could not careless about you. Stay strong my friends, there is good true living people out there. You just need to learn how to discern people that have personal agendas and those that are transparent and genuine with you. Some with addendas can pretend to be transparent, but if you question them, you will soon see they have motives for getting what they want from you. One more thing, He will stonewall you, give you the silent treatment and gossip and bad mouth you to many others instead of talking the person he says he has a problem with. I never knew what stonewalling was till I met him. They refuse to answer or talk to you. They have no intentions of trying to resolve anything they say they have a problem with. He wanted me to like what he liked, think like him and do what he did, and forget about my own wants, need and desires.
I’ve always said, trips and material gifts are only bc they can afford it. I have heard, but he gave me a beautiful diamond ring. It’s the heart that counts. Money, often has no value to some people. Get to know them. Ask God to guide you. He is the only assurance we have.
I am sorry for you. I was this stupid once too. But it is the 100% description of a goal- set up manipulator of well minded people. A picture of a fuck, who think he is the best & special what was born to this world... Holly shit! It costs me also a lot!
That is why you must never fear the narcissist, while in the no contact phase, plan an exit strategy, record/document everything if you’re still with the narcissist, get your finances in order, leave the narcissist as soon as your able to, expose the narcissist for who they really (if it’s safe to do so), and make sure you have no sympathy or mercy on the narcissist at any time……all you are doing is giving them a taste of their own medicine for all those years of hell they gave you. ✊🙏
I believe that if someone is talking badly about you to other people, they are really talking about themselves, revealing what kind of person they truly are.
I can relate my ex went to everyone about everything and if i said anything about them he told it all. He turned so many friends/family against me. I just cut off everyone who had any connections to him. I didn't have the mental health to deal with it all. So to heal i unplugged 😨
Having dealt with two narcissistic siblings who attempted these tactics, somehow I was aware of this but I really didn't care and kept moving forward. Only I was contributing to my well being. I did not care what was being said or to whom.
My mom is being targetted by a group of women who hated that she moved in to a unit in a townhouse complex that the theft gang of women thought of as "theirs". There are no trusted friends as they recruited at least two cop "friends" who make her life a living hell. They lie to everyone including her co-workers, they pretend they are "investigating" her and even at her high school reunion with people she hadnt seen in 20 years I saw the impact the narcassists had done to her life - even friends from high school turned their backs on her and I heard two guys talking about it in the bathroom - how they didnt think it was right that someone so nice and now with kids they couldnt talk to. They wanted to talk to my Mom but they were not allowed to!!!! These narcs went after anyone and everyone in her past and present. It is horrible to watch my mother be treated in such a horrible way by a bunch of women who are nothing but liars.
It is th u stood in the hallways offending me.wisj they shut up.i just hope Arthur gets the word out to leave me alone ....Arthur I'd trust in everything
@@freespirit5234 LE DO NOT HAVE TO ABIDE BY THE LAWS NECISARILY, THEY CAN LIE, NOT BE FAIR, AND SCREW WITH YOUR MIND..TO GET YOU TO TELL THE TRUTH... ITS ALL A FORM OF NARCISSISM BUT MUCH LESS BECAUSE IT IS BUS8NESS NOT JUST A WILLFULL WEAKNESS BORN OF THE DEMON THEY MAY BE ALLOWING TO PUPPET THEM STRAIGHT BACK INTO HELL.
Exactly the kind of profession that attracts these POS's. Along with judges, politicians, lawyers, school boards, HOA boards. Any position that allows them to wield power. NEVER trust ANYONE with power. Those people don't just find themselves in those positions by chance.
What I decided to do was box up all the beautiful photos of her as a child and mail them to her. It was like show, not tell. This response spoke volumes without me having to defend myself. My ex cannot contest the beauty of my gesture and the genuine feelings the photos show. Stay graceful. Stay dignified. That's the only way to put out the narc's fire.
We all know how bad a narc is.... but the real question is, how can they be stripped of their influence and power? The world is filled with these types, and defeating them is a good skill to aquire.
Looking at your question and as an American who is equating the influential and the powerful to the politicians and the wealthiest of the wealthiest here than the answer is nothing.
Give it time. Those that turned against you and believed the narcissist will soon find themselves hurt by that same narcissist. Then they will understand the truth and they may come to you for support and ask for your forgiveness. A leopard doesn't change it's spots and what the narcissist did to you he or she will soon do to others.
The important thing to take here is that people who are willing to turn against you so easily were never true friends to begin with, and you are better of without them.
I cannot thank you enough. Currently, I am being targeted by a narcist who has been digging for some time. It is a hard fight, but I believe one day everything will stop, and the truth will be revealed.
I'm 40, and only a year ago I found out about how devious these people really are. This shocked me to the core, and I have cut everyone who isn't in my most closest circle out like tumour, but you are right because you find out who are genuine and who are not.
Not all narcissists exude charm and charisma. Many are repugnant. It's in the vibes they exude -- it's dark and discordant: the shifty eyes, the menacing mannerisms, the condescending tone of their voice, the need to boast. It's also how they hold their face, how they flail their arms to push u to do what they want. Listen to the way they convey themselves. It's always circular. They never talk straight. You can't have an argument or conversation with them. They just bulldoze their way through. All the ones that I have dealt with have been and are like this. Their flying monkeys are those that resonate on the same level as them. But they too have their own agenda with the narcissist.
I called my MIL the pinballer...when she was fixing to let loose...her eyes looked like a pinball machine...back and forth rapidly...you could almost hear the bells...and the pinging😢😂
I've been in the kind brother position all my life. So much of what the family narc has done over the years never added up. Everyone knows this too yet nobody but me will stand up and fight back against all the lies and manipulation.
but its so freeing to finally learn to say: "no thank you" and smile. Just keep repeating just that and they will get the gest...Silence is so powerfull and totally creeps them out
People know exactly what they're doing. It's self preservation... And it's also people who never really liked you getting an opportunity and running with it
I have been carrying the scars inflicted by a narcissist for many years but as I discover my conscious I become less burdened and I am now feeling pity for this person and I have gone through enough to now start enjoying my own company that I no longer care for thid person followers mostly my siblings.If they could ignore me because of the lies of my ex narcissist husband then they do not worth my energy. I therefore pull away myself aside and watch the drama or the movie. I am yet to see the end of the show. As a result I am truly happy as I persue my conscious self. I am thankful as I now see the situation as stepping stone to discovering my true self. I do hope they will also discover their true selves also. I am so free and is bubbling with al this joy. There is no longer any space within me for entertaining their antics. You are doing a very good job helping and reaching out to the victims of the victim of all.
The critical message here is to act with grace. It is futile to deny the narcissist's lies and engage with their manipulation. Continue to behave with compassion, love, kindness, and grace. To produce counter-arguments merely makes it more difficult for others to tell who is right and who is lying - because the debate is reduced to school playground levels. It won't solve your problems immediately but, over time, many of those who were targeted by the narcissist will come to recognize that the person you have been portrayed as is not a true representation of who you are. One other thing: the narcissist might well deploy the tactic of accusing you of the very offences of which they are guilty and, if they can, they will do so early. Don't engage and remember: Grace!
I learned to welcome the flying monkey's efforts to spread negative rumors about me. It is actually a great way to see who is worthy of your friendship. If anyone believes gossip and false stories about me, why in hell would I want to associate with them? From this perspective, the narcissist is actually (and has in the past) doing me a great favor. The narc is allowing their acquaintances to clearly demonstrate their true character without me ever forcing the issue myself 😊.
Please remember how clever the narcissist is - my daughter was married to one & I’m very close to her however he told me he was worried that she relied on me too much & he was worried about her mental health & how she would cope if I died so he thought I should distance myself from her - I believed all this as at the time I knew nothing about narcissism & I distanced myself - much later when we realised what was going on she told me that at that time she was struggling with a job he pushed her into getting that she was out of her depth with & she was really hurt & confused when I backed off! It’s complicated isn’t it! 😮
Thank you for sharing this. When you’re not a narcissist, you are unaware of one in your life, so it’s very confusing! Just like if you’re not a thief, you’ll be baffled at the way people steal…. All those creative ways.
I've dealt with this and refuse to spend my energy on people who believe Narcissists so when it comes to family and friends siding against me via narcissistic gaslighting I abandon and go go silent on them indefinitely so they will be alone with their lies which usually results in the retrospection they should have practiced to begin with. But that being said people who betray me in such a matter get cut off basically forever, I just dont put up with it.
In my case the narcissistic partner and my own brother and sister chose to listen and believe everything. My sister made sure she called every relative she hadn't spoken within the last 20 years to tell them how awful I was. Yet she claimed we were so close. We were never close, she chose to rat me out many times after speaking confidentially to her. The loss of my ex and my family and siblings was something I accepted. Haven't spoken in almost twenty years to them, they are certainly not role models for my children.
Not sure if you are asking for help or making an observation so forgive me if I have misunderstood. You are right it is a nightmare, a living nightmare. Unfortunately it has to be gone through one way or another. Depending on the specific circumstances it can be dealt with by a complete cutting of ties to the person, which is probably the best way. If circumstances don't allow for this one way to defend is to give them no ammunition, don't confide with them. Choose your words carefully when you speak to them. It seems useless to try to resolve things with rational conversation, they feed off of this, it empowers them. It's difficult, very difficult but try to act as if it does not affect you, ie. continue as if it's not happening so that you do not appear as desperate, which gives a narcissist encouragement. By the time a person is aware of the attack the narcissist has been carrying out their plan for sometime, to defend against this is difficult, not impossible, because you don't know what has been said or to whom it has been said, as people rarely let you know for one reason or another, either embarrassment or meanness or something else in between those two. If you feel you can trust one of the potential 'hearers' slip it into a conversation with that one whether they are aware of any gossip about you. Depending on the answer take it from there. It's not easy that's why cutting off is preferable. If you are in this situation try to be strong, stay strong. You have my empathy.
Even when they know that the narcissist has a personality disorder and has made trouble for others they can be taken in by their stories and start acting cold & uncommunicative with you. I just don’t understand how they can be so gullible knowing that they are selfish and unbalanced.
This information is spot on. When this was done to me, I did sit down with certain individuals and had an open discussion with them. They know I walk with integrity and honor and never lie, so they were willing to listen and believe me. I’ve let go of those that really didn’t matter but was still so hurtful, like when she told the school not to let me near her kids because she said I was going to kidnap them. I just had to swallow that one (just one of many examples) and let it go. It’s an extremely hard thing to deal with and I just say to others “you are not alone”
"Breaking down your support system" is an incredibly important point! I thought the narc was just being their usual toxic self and trying to turn people against their target, never made the connection to the target's support system at all. That's huge!
I believe that if someone is talking badly about another person then they will talk badly about you when you are not around. I wish more people would recognize this
So true!
That is true
thats true
FACTS!
True
I have reached a point in my life where I am more disgusted when people, who should know me better, just believe what they're told without talking to me. Especially when we're talking about family. I completely moved away from them all and I won't trust them again. Good riddance to them!
Yes it's amazing how a narc (often one they haven't known long) feeds them lies and they INSTANTLY FORGET WHO YOU REALLY ARE and all the good things you've done for them over the YEARS.
Quick to believe the lies but slow to believe anything of good report.
I am with you on that one.
'??Family??' is nothing but a bunch of cowards.
They've made the choice to participate in what's Easy, to follow the Malicious, Venomous lies. Imagine that, talk about a highly disfunctional ??family??. No more, done...
Now that's a chess move!! Checkmate....
Good riddance to bad rubbish! Me too! My 1st Christmas without them its weird
It's very important to recognize how easily family and friends would betray and deceive you when a narcissist lies about you to them.
I say f××× them all.
Well many people are dumb, and will believe anything a charismatic person says. Especially if it's something they hear over and over. The narc knows this, that's why they lie. Best thing to do is go no contact with the narc, and be sure to educate the family about them.
You are 100% correct. This happened to me and I was stunned to see how quickly they turned in order “to keep the peace”. I was fed to the wolves
@@deeprollingriver52 same here. It went on for years and years (my mom was the narcissist) and she'd been undermining since the beginning. By the time I understood it was too late. I went no contact and even there she cause issues from a distance. There is no safety net for us except us. Just leave and never look back.
@@lizkrinsky5209 peace be with you always
What I did is cut off all ties with people who believed the narcissist, that meant also cutting off my relationship with my own family. I never regretted this.
Even your children??? I had to too. I'd love to hear how you were able to do this without breaking your own heart in the process.
@@cbd1nonlE12 Even my children, yes. Not by choice but the narcissist mother set them up against me. Cutting all ties with the mother meant letting them go too. It hurts of course, but you have to be a realist and continue with life and make the best out of it. Things are how they are.
So true it is the only way to a good life when your family has one too many narcissists in it. For me it was my mother and brother. I went no contact and my life improved 10000% in everyway possible!
Amen. I've done this as well. Thank you, truly, for sharing.
@@phoch2331 ❤
Remember,
a lie has speed,
but, the truth has endurance.
👌🏽💯🙏🏽👏🏽
Never heard this one! So true, well said. It’s a good one thanks
Well said!
This helps me so much 🥺
True
Stick with people who defend you in rooms you are not in
This is an excellent piece of advice
That makes sense but only one problem how do you know who those people are if you weren’t in the room?
Intuition
Where can I find people like that? I don't even get defended when I'm in the room.
Good luck on that...people are so easily manipulated...that's how you weed put the people who are not worthy to be your friend. Bottom line..you have to be your own best friend. I've lived long enough to see all of these people go down in flames caused by their own karma. Just believe in yourself..be patient and you will survive
I’m sorry - but if someone is so quick to believe the narcissist’s lies and is not adult enough to address the rumors to you, then they are not worth keeping as friends. Move on. Here’s one for ya: “Friends don’t let friends become scapegoated;” or “Friends don’t let friends become targets.”
Here's another
" Friend's don't let friend's try to have a good time drinking at a BBQ and left thinking everything is going great, having a good time in the presence of a known narcissistic, alcohol only escalates their bad thoughts racing in the brain and makes them want to fight , or beat up on whoever is available and there to blame them for their frustrations.
this video outlines the joys of working in an office setting
@@desirreemarlenaclonch7593Amen. They aren’t worth keeping because it never changes. It will happen over and over Trust me. Lived it for 50 years. It never stopped until I stopped it.
I was more angry with the ones who believed those lies.
@@dtyree3295 Exactly. After a lifetime with a mother that pitted 3 of us against each other one would think others would learn. But my sisters were too invested in staying on my mothers good side. They knew if they didn’t take her side they would be cast out of her life like I was. So I have basically been cut out from all of them and I’m fine with it. Have a nice crowd of friends and other “parent like” figures in my life that love and support me more than any blood relative ever did.
I suffered this for years. Excluded from weddings, left standing alone at my father's funeral, but it's difficult to fight back when it's your family.😢
Go no contact with them you don't need these creeps. They call themselves "family" they haven't got a clue how to be ,a pet will love you always
That's a lot to suffer. Feeling it with you.
Did you kow that the root of the word "diabolical" involves acts of "dividing, separating... isolating."
So cruel.
Jesus Christ is the opposite. Always always seek Him. He is faithful and true. Call out to Him as HEALER.
Bless you, and thank you for persevering, and for sharing your testimony here.
Sorry you had to go through this.
They don’t deserve you.
Im so sorry. Its painful, I know ❤ Im planning on not even going to my mothers... its terrible to bear this sorrow in advance :/ I just cant. Our mom is 85 and weakening, I cant find peace to care for her , its so hard.
This is happening to me now
Walk away from all of them. If people blindly believe what a narc says, they are just as guilty.
Do not underestimate the supernatural powers at work in and through the narcissist. They have an ability to charm that is evil. You are in spiritual warfare against spiritual beings working in the narcissist.
They can come through false ( treacherous;deceitful) Christs and false prophets, as relates in Mat.24
Exactly
If someone tells you a lie and you repeat it. You are a liar.
The only problem I have seen with this action, Is that it creates a very lonely existence.
A wise monk said " Listen to what people say about other people , they are telling you what they are guilty of doing themselves"
Not always but when it comes to gossip due to jealousy or prejudice, yes. But ppl must tell the truth about perpetrators or else their will never be justice. It depends on motive and person.
Yes, it’s always a confession!
I agree with you 1000%. Everything a Narc says about someone else, usually describes them.
Bingo!
This happened to me my nac describe a coworker in a bad way. And she was talking about herself.
My plan of action was to make new friends and not let anyone know who they are. It works. The ones that left me never were my friends.
I couldn’t have put it better. If you are a kind and nice person like the person mentioned in this video and all of a sudden others turn against you because of the words of a toxic person, then those people are also toxic. Get the hell away from them. Doesn’t matter if they are family or long term friends. You were in a toxic situation and you’ve just found out. Start fresh with new people and look out for red flags.
It’s heart wrenching when it happens yet they did u a favor because they exposed who really wasn’t your friend.
very true
Bingo
Exactly! When I left my narcissist they of course took all the friends with them. What I learned is those weren’t real friends in the first place … misery loves company!
Anybody that they are able to turn against you was never really for you.
Too true , shallow weak people .
Not necessarily. They’re professional manipulators and know exactly what to say to turn each individual against you. It isn’t a one lie fits all type scheme. If one person is an animal lover, they’ll adapt their own behavior to come across to them as someone who is like them, and then they’ll slowly poison them against you. A lot of times it isn’t even obvious to the other person that they’re trying to turn them against you.
Im puzzled about why you even posted that trite statement.
Is this to make the victim feel even more crushed ?
@@kinss1 My, aren't you antagonistic!? Go bully somebody else.
@@kinss1 My, aren't you antagonistic!? Go bully somebody else.
What blows my mind about this is how easily people are manipulated, fooled, & believe that awful stuff. I’ve had this happen to me. It’s awful. Thanks for the video.
I am so sorry you have had that happen too. I’m in the same boat and still suffering 20yrs later. It’s horrible beyond belief.
Me too. 💙
@@jackiek3407 SAME HERE & many are family because to the narc it is not your family it is their family. & then it spreads out like tentacle's to your work place, friends(?) & neighbors. No way of escaping it.
The betrayal and shame still sits with me to this day, it’s a tough gig to overcome @@RideoutMr
@@RideoutMrso what do you do? 😢 this year as been awful. It takes more of a toll to realize this has been in the works since last year . When the world fell for me this year I instantly felt like Micheal Douglas in the movie the game and I’ve felt that way since , but that is literally the only way to kinda describe how I felt and still feel, trying to put my best foot forward all year just to feel mocked or patronized, and just plain old “being fucked with” I do try to focus on the silver lining though At least now I know who my friends are and I know how resilient I am but it is tuff
Don't do anything about it. If people are so disloyal to you they'd be willing to jump on the hate train with a narc, you're not missing out on anything.
At least pray against the narcs supernatural power to influence your loved ones.
I almost forgot what's the world population.
Well said!
Agreed.
Well said
I can't help but go back to something that my grandmother taught me when I was a child. If someone who actually knows you believes something someone else tells them about you, why would you want them even in your life? If they are that easily influenced by someone else you do not need them as a friend.
That's me and my family, and the malignant narcissist is a better actress than anyone Hollywood has ever seen.
This is the BEST statement I've heard concerning a narcissist!!!
My soon to be ex-wife is the lead actress. Lied got me arrested & order of protection. I haven't seen my kids in 5 months. She's poisoning them & doesn't care about hurting them to hurt me. They are my everything! My mother in law physically attacked me 4 months before this happened cops wouldn't do anything with 100% proof it happened. Then 4 months later they lie get me arrested even have live video of her attacking me again that day of arrest. It's horrible how narcissists get away with everything. There should be prison time for narcissists & the emotional, physiological, & physical abuse they cause. The children are the ones that are the actual victims from these monsters
Yes she’s my mother a scorpion 🦂, and her two assistants (my sisters 👯♀️) full of jealousy and hatred towards me all of my life, got my ex husband to do the same, (turned out he was just like them). Wrecked my whole life, and messing with my children’s , even brainwashing them against me . She just won’t let us live in peace😢
Good luck brother, distance is the only solution. Out of sight, out of mind.
@@lf697It’s best if you can cut all contact.
People underestimate how much work narcissists do to undermine someone. It takes more dedication and work with more people and situations than most could imagine.
If only they were capable of using that for good.
I've said the exact same thing so many times.... How do they find the time to weave their tangled webs? It exhausts me just thinking about it.
If they were capable indeed to use their energy for doing good, this would be wonderful.
The world would be a different place. Unfortunately, they're evil and completely hopeless cases. All we can do is avoiding them and if that's not possible, defend ourselves with all the strength we've got.
God bless 🙏
I had my mother and sister turn all of my extended family against me. None of my other siblings stuck up for me. So I walked away from them. Best decision I ever made, I finally have peace in my life.
Hope you are doing well.
same here
there was definitely a period of grief. I miss them as I thought they were. I dont really care for their new versions. not worth my devotion. except for my parents. they can always count on me.
Same thing happened to me. My sister always had a cruel streak and I wondered if they truly believed that I was a bad person or they were afraid of my mom, liked seeing me excluded and not treated well or all of them are narcissists too. It hurts and I glad that you’re doing better!
I think that's the worst part. When those we think are our friends and allies stab us in the back.
The betrayal is heart wrenching.
Some mothers wonder which of her children loves her the most, and some wonder which of them hates her the least.
Its especially tragic when a mother does it to her own child.
My mother has been on to this since I was 5 years of age. I am 55 now, and she is still at it, maligning me and spreading rumors about me everywhere till I have no friend or extended family left
@@monsterhunt8624 I can empathize. I don’t know if my mom spread the lies, but she certainly believed everything a sibling told her. Life is difficult when the family functions under the assumptions they’ve made without ever saying a word or giving an opportunity for clarity. I took the stance that if they loved me (as they professed), someone would have asked the questions. They never did, so I never offered my truth.
Here’s the sad part… my mother died believing the lies, and her last words to me were “I love you,” which of course I didn’t believe.
I’m okay with my decision to allow them to believe whatever. I had years of time to deal with what it was. But forgiveness is a harder battle. That’s on me (and you), but it’s important for our own future peace. I know she did her best. And my sibling no longer has any control - with her gone and no direct contact for thirty years. The “game” ended at my mother’s funeral.
I remember standing out there on a hillside plot like a combat vet that has returned home. To heal we must find a way to forgive, and walk away from those who refuse our truth. Godspeed.
Sheesh 🙄..I got shot at by two punks..I told this so called mom and her reaction was smirk 😏 saying with that 😏 they should have not missed..come to find out those punks are friends of her youngest son..🤣🤣🤣
@@monsterhunt8624 That is sadly common. If you are a child with a good memory they are terrified that you will speak of their abusive behaviour; so they have to paint you as a fantasist; a liar; head in the clouds. Literally all children live in a fantasy world half the time whilst at play, so people believe the propaganda without question. The years pass and they are just in the habit of believing all the crap that is said about you. The longer it goes on the less likely that they will question anything because they'd have so much processing to do.
It should be a red flag for abuse whenever a parent maligns a toddler!
It sounds like cutting her out of your life is long overdue.
Also especially when it is a child to her own mother
I was married to a narcissistic man for almost 40 years. When I filed for divorce he went crazy and did all the things you mentioned here. I lost absolutely everyone in my life. It was painful but I've moved on. Eight years later with three years of intensive therapy I have finally found what real love is. Losing my son was the hardest..that he believed his father who didn't ever give a dang about him until he needed a flying monkey. I love you Justin no matter what.
WOW..thank you for your testimony. I lost my son and Ohana also. I talk a brave talk in my comments yet it's still very painful. Even after all these years. Cody...I will always love U unconditionally...even though. May our sons find this & a seed of forgiveness grows in their hearts. U are not alone sister. I love U w God love. Let's put into fruition that this storm passes soon. You've a stranger out here that gets you. 💪🙏💜🙌🤟😘
I’m going through this rn my ex narc coerced and manipulated our 8 y o daughter to live with him..
Sending hugs 🤗 your way. My heart ❤️ goes out to you. 31 years here with my soon to be ex abuser.
Thanks to all you beautiful women who are so supportive, it's humbling. I pray that you all find peace and healing.
I felt this on a cellular level. 🥺
Get rid of his Flying Monkeys..You can't Lose a Friend you never had..end of story
Amen no matter how “ nice” they appear they are definitely not they’re all in the same level
That was the realization that I had. It turned out that they were never friends in the first place. It was a bitter pill of truth. The hardest ones though were supposed family and I mean close family like a father, sister, nephew, niece, 1st cousin.
U can tell fake nice..
True
💯💯💯
My condolences to all fellow-sufferers. However, I take comfort in knowing I am not alone. Thanks for all your sharing.
@randallv9719 It's a real eye opener.
Catharine, please read what I wrote above.
🙌
🌄✨🧡
Thank you for your condolences. As it's not an ACTUAL death yet a death of dear & covered relationships, children family that we lose. I appreciate you & know you are NOT alone. 💪🙏💜🙌🤟😘
My narcissistic brother turned my own mother and family against me. And she believed him because he has money and gives her everything she wants. It was devastating. How could my own mother and family believe that I stole her jewelry? But, in time, I got over it, moved on.
I’ve no contact with any of those people.
It turned out that he did me a favor. I removed myself from the toxic environment, found happiness and peace. I developed friendships that a good and lasting, I’ve become strong and confident.
Thank you bro!
I'm sorry you had to go through that 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
@@jennajoseph893 you’re a very beautiful person
sorry for your families treatment everybody’s different, wth different situations. In my case I have gone no contact or very little contact. Separate yourself, understanding, that the narcissist must have a scapegoat. That’s you. If you confront them, it will not get better, rest, assured, nobody will apologize. Work on yourself, love yourself, seek God and build new friendships. One by one. Don’t tell too many people about the narcissistic family, they may not get it, and you will feel even more diminished.
@@clint120 you are 100%. The pain comes from thinking things will turn around and one day you’ll be vindicated. I remember thinking that, like a TV show, everyone will come together and realize I’m the injured one. Nope. It’s not going to happen. Thinking you can return after years of separation and hoping that magically, everyone realizes how wonderful you are.
There is no justice there. Just turn and walk down a path to a new, beautiful you. It takes time. Time will heal you.
@@canadianukranian509 just because they’re related to you doesn’t make them nice
My advice is, Don't argue and Carry On! The truth always prevails... eventually.
“I’m sorry you were told those things.”
I just say in a calm voice to people who try to make me look bad in front of me "you don't make yourself look better by putting me down" and then I smile and move on.
Typical warm talk. A warm will alawys be a victim . Listen to this: walk away , dont be a harm in others life.
@@Potencyfunction Politely describing what a bully is doing is not, 'doing harm' and the op literally said that they walked away. Was your comment meant to be helpful or judgemental? And what on Earth is a warm?
Don’t do anything. Don’t play into anything. Observe and then separate yourself from that group and spend time with people not remotely connected to that group. Stay away long enough for them to miss you, don’t ask questions, let them figure out on their own that they have been had by the narc. The narc always needs a target, if you are out of their field of vision they will find a different target and repeat the behavior, before long others in the group will pick up on it…and it gets old.
You are correct. My mother in law did this to my mother. Very painful to see my mother so easily duped, but it was a flaw in her character that let her be fooled that easily. I simply left her alone for years trusting that my mother in law will eventually show her true colors...and she did. A lot of time wasted waiting, but there is nothing you can do to get a true narc to stop targeting you except go "grey rock" on them, and they will eventually find a new target.
"spend time with people not remotely connected to that group"
What do you do when you find out that they are connected to that group and have been all along?
Then you are not spending time with people not remotely connected to the group, you need to find another group slightly more unlikely for them to be connected to.
@@juliadplume3097 Society is pretty easy to map out these days. Facebook works hand-in-hand with "intelligence", who work hand-in-hand with the mafia. And in the unlikely event that you've slipped through the cracks of that network, someone in most social circles uses banned substances (i.e. substances that the government gives the mafia a monopoly on and thereby a network reaching every user and all of every user's contacts), and they can lean on people using narcotic enticements or physical or legal threats.
You are SO right .
The betrayal feels like a knot in my gut that won't go away.
In everything, give thanks. Pray, and ask God to give you a pure heart. Most of all, never wish ill on another. God bless you.
@@ritagamez3732 you don't need these creeps in your life there will be good people who value you and a pet will love you alwayso
I just deleted every single foto on my pc or cut the narcisstic friend out! Took the gifts she gave me and personally drove to the tipper and dumped ALL. That was especially empowering💪she wants to gaslight and cut me out without an explanation.... hey, so can I!
Imagine how Painful this Is, when it's one of your Adult daughters doing it to you. 💔
Don't matter who it is....@@carriered4715
I have experienced this with my sister and it was very painful as I thought we were very close. I ended up walking away from everyone who believed her lies. I haven't talked to her for the past 4 years.
Me too. My sister is NOT who I thought she was. She has manipulated her husband to allow her to continue in immoral practices within her marriage. I haven't spoken to her for almost a year and her own kidz warned me of her battle. I pray for them. I'm doing well even my health has improved
Don’t go back. It’ll repeat itself. I’ve tried 😂
Kenneth, please read what I wrote above. Also, you are doing the absolute right thing by not talking to your sister. Don't look back.
@@christinaduncan8285 The sad part is I was always there for her through thick and thin. But I hold no I'll will towards her. I guess it was time to move on.
Another thing was I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer six months ago and she will never know until I pass away.
This is my sister and mother to a T. Even when I was extremely unwell and hospitalised with mental health issues, my sister spent 40 minutes on the phone to a senior member of the medical team, trying her best to persuade that I was fabricating my illness and what a bad person I was. Needless to say, the medical team were not impressed, and my sister only served to confirm to the staff that I was indeed the victim of a very toxic family.
This sounds like my family only my brother is the narcissist and a drug addict, who I tried to have found out either for legitimate help or so he could not get drugs at all and maybe end up in jail away from my parents… Hopefully your doctor didn’t believe her and you were able to GET THE HELP YOU NEEDED 1because my bother’s doctor sure didn’t believe my cries for actual help… That is until he quit seeing him a few months ago after getting drugs from him for years… That doctor probably believes me NOW. Ugh
Except.sister and father.
For me, the worst people are the ones who don't want to intervene, thinking doing nothing is better, but aligning themselves with the one creating drama.
I finally asked myself what was it about ME that attracted a narcissist? That’s where the work to heal began. I eventually became self loving & accepting & can now sense & avoid 👿 energy a mile away. Blessings & ☮️ to everyone!
We accept them because it feels familiar😢
I asked myself that same thing several years ago after 3 failed marriages ,why am I attracting these kind of people?!
@jadek5822. Many blessings to you. You get it.
I asked myself the same question. I learned that I was easily manipulated because I was naive and a people pleaser. I trusted him at his word. I was used. Now I’m suspicious of even nice guys
It's called to feed their egos and to take away your energy and positivity vibes and to control your life in order to ellivate their egotistical narcissistic personality
They are true energy vampire's and they have to have more than one feeder to keep them in supply
You’re wrong there when you say “narcissists fail to comprehend the consequences of their actions” I’m pretty sure they are fully aware and spend a lot of time manipulating everyone around them to suit their agenda.
I saw my narc stepmother in hell two weeks after she died. It was important that I understood that she chose to be a narc. Now I view all narcs as evil, not mentally ill.
They KNOW EXACTLY what they're doing, I've actually witnessed the evil smirk after their actions!! Pure Poison, is what is inside them, ⚠️ nothing else
I believe they know too. 👌
Agreed! They understand fully the consequences. What they don't understand (and we as victims of them largely don't either) is their motivations.
The narcissist is unable to feel, inside themselves, what they have done to their prey and how far and wide their damaging actions reverberate.
That’s what they can’t comprehend in terms of “consequences”, because they can’t feel that depth of their own schadenfreude and its destruction.
They’ve moved on to the next campaign.
People who judge you like that, because of lies and manipulation are absolutely not worthy of your friendship. Period!!
Let them go 😖
They will eventually be put through the same abuse by the narcissist. That's when they will see the light
WOW,.I didn't look at it that way yet I see it happening to my narcissist. He's lost everything. Owns nothing. Works very hard yet is missing all his front teeth since I left him. I'm not saying I wished this on him. I'm thinking you're right. Karma always seems to put these monsters in a humility check.
What if they are your co-workers? It's so hard because no matter where you go there's always garbage.
Omg! I’ve always been told “watch how someone treats their friends and you will be next” And “watch how someone treats their dog and you Will be treated the same” Walking away from the narc and their minions is the ultimate action of Self Love!!! Don’t give a damn about what they say. When they running you down, they are leaving someone else alone.
Giving up gives the evil spirit working through the narcissist more power to do evil. This is spiritual warfare and God’s love and wisdom should be called upon.
@@cbd1nonlE12 When you stop feeding the monsters they can no longer grow / flourish.
Anyone who turned against you, TRUST ME!! They were never, ever your friend!!! They were waiting for a reason to turn against you and look down on you!! The Narcissist did you a favor!! Because that person was already a narcissist in the first place. I mean the one they turned against you... A Good Person would have came to you and told you what the Narcissist was saying behind your back!! Good people don't just suddenly turn on a friend because some stranger comes into the picture...
35 years after my divorce and my Ex still tries to turn people against me. He's nuts.
That is not only a sign of how narcs are crazy but they’ll never get better. There is one recovering narcissist here on YT who has a channel and who provides a lot of information and insight on what makes these people tick. But he is one of the rare ones who was able to realize he had NPD and start working on himself.
Wish to God my fiancée’s older sister would get help someday. But she’s too busy turning the whole family against me.
The pain these POS monsters can inflict on others, especially an empath like myself, is truly devastating and heartbreaking.
I hope you’re doing much better nowadays. 🙏
Btw, it’s been 22 years since my divorce and I keep telling people how wonderful my ex-wife/high school sweetheart is. I still talk to her to this very day.
This happened to me. And it took years for me to sus-out that he actually went to such lengths to hurt my reputation. My Ex destroyed my friendships and sabotaged my support network. As a single mother without family, this has been devastating to me and our child. Horrible
My ex teamed up with my perv brother and ive been through stuff that should only exist in movies.
Most my kids are grown now and it's strange to explain the deal to their inlaws. I had a really hard life. College classmates, work friends, other scout or sports parents, people neither ever met or know have been my support.
I’m in the same position, the isolation is crippling at times, the pain so intense, I have never known anyone of this caliber, have never been hurt by anyone at this level, it’s evil. Being thrust into single motherhood by this demon, after being the brains and brain behind our very nice life, crushing. Prayers to all unsuspecting victims of these vile cretins
@@ambilaevus7607 I'm so sorry this happened to you.
@@FJBravo381 I'm so sorry this happened to yhou.
There should be a law(laws)
Not one person has ever had the courage to approach me with the lies!!!
Isn’t that weird? Why don’t they just ask instead of blindly believe lies and rumors coming from an ex partner.
@@christophercaruso6503 They think it is a form of empowerment, when all it does is limit their thinking skills..
❤
That is something that bugs and confuse me alot... how can people just belie e such noncense? Love would make sure and try to help or guide you on the right path again...as God tells us to do.. but to be painted bad and everybody k ows something about you that looks horrefying makes you really feel bad and disgusted in people for not even distinguishing that it isa lie...This is a very evil trade or demon to live by for any person to even think lies will make them powerful or beter than others
You know ...people sometimes kill themselves over crap like this ...narcissists ( ANY kind ) are very dangerous people .
They are capable of ending your life , figuratively or literally , one way or another .
And people that have had their own experience with a narc know this to be true.
True. A person doesn't have to be physically abusive to be extremely dangerous.
It’s their intent to drive targets to suicide
They are murderers and very dangerous ppl. If they can murder someone using a proxy they will
They are full of demons
Absolutely! Especially if they sensed that flying monkey works so well for them! People are f. stupid everywhere incl. oneself..
@@applen.ginger8489 So true.
I think my brother will eventually end his own life. He is professionally and financially successful, plus has that oozing narcissistic charm. He turned family, friends and even the pastor against me with outrageous lies. How could anybody who knows me believe him??? It has been 10 years now. I heard that he is drinking heavily and is unhappy with his life. I pray for his soul.
No one can convince me to dislike someone who has never wronged me. If you're influenced to go against someone you have no problems with, you're just as messy as the narcissist.
So true.
It's true but a little black and white.
I had a lovely friend for 30yrs who was so so funny and generous. When I met her she was a very quiet 18yrs old yet aggressive and fragile, the product of an alcoholic father and a sometimes neglectful mother. The first time I went on a night out with her I told her that the girl looking at her might be admiring her hair or something so why was she assuming something bad? I went to the toilets with her 100s of times while she checked her make-up and never complained. I sometimes challenged her tactfully because that was what she needed. She became more secure over the years, and her shell softened. She had children, started eating properly, became her hilarious self, but was always very wary and distrustful. It's hard to trust people when you grew up with parents that you could not rely on and who never had your best interests at heart. Deep down I guess she thought a good friend in her corner was just too good to be true. One day my sister said horrible things about her dressing like a ho and I disagreed saying that since she worked out so much she earned the right to wear skin-tight clothes. They weren't revealing just very Sandy-at-the-end-of-Grease. She looked frickin awesome, and once made a car crash into a post in a car park because of her apple-bottom-jeans. I nearly died laughing. Anyway, fearing I would drop her in it, sister dear framed me.
Yes my friend was messy with issues, but I loved her anyway and her children. It was just easier for her to revert to believing that she couldn't trust anyone than figure out that my sister is a coward who will literally say anything to save herself.
I hoped my friend would realise the truth by remembering what I once told her about how my sister pointed to 2 young women and said, 'women that dress like that deserve what they get,' and I scolded sister for her attitude. My friend said that my sister was probably envious because she is AA cup. But this was decades ago and I guess she forgot. I also hoped she would realise that as someone who is mostly oblivious to what people wear, it's utterly preposterous that I would comment in such a way.
This video is great and all, but when you are suddenly ghosted and don't find out why for years, there's not a lot you can do. It's been 12 years and at least I have tons of funny stories.
They are purely evil
God bless us all whove had to and who are dealing with these sick demons that God may take hes vengeance against them NOW 🙏
This has happened to me and it's so horrible it's made me physically sick! My ex turned everyone he could against me. Even my doctors! My children and friends! He would throw away my clothing,stole my antiques and gaslit me to the extreme! There is so much more like many attempts he tried to kill me. Not kidding.
😮🙏
PEOPLE who are not narcissists often will bash themselves thinking what's come at them at first is some kind of joke, so they joke on untruths, the narcissists and other criminals don't need help.
Have you seen Jill Wise? The Enlightened Target on RUclips? She is a Wonderful Coach, her videos are very helpful; her ex husband did the same to her…hopefully she can help you!!🙏
You are not alone sister.😢
I’m so sorry and I do believe you!
Not just my own mom but he called My doctors and told them I was a drug dealer.
They didn’t believe him, but I felt like throwing up. To be so invasive makes me now, paranoid of everything.
This happened to me at work. I quit and moved on to a better job. No regrets!
If you can quit and move to other work... Bad if you cannot, because mister spying agent got his network and makes flying monkeys around, then...so easy is it not. Unless, you have got a very good lawyer willing to take up with the issue, meaning you have money.. and sometimes even this wont solve it..
Amen
They're EVIL.
And so damned good at what they do.
AMEN..
@@Loris88Angels Just like their father Satan.
Yes and there is an evil entity working on them enhancing their power to control people.
We lost our only daughter & granddaughter to a narc. He completely tore our family apart while all the while coming across as educated & charming. Happened 30yrs ago, still mourn the loss.
So sorry this happened. Many hugs. ❤
Today is the 2nd day of not ever seeing my narcissist daughter and grandchild. I defended myself so now it’s OVER and I’m relieved. It’s going to be rough at times but I’m not looking back.
My mother's been doing this to me for over 50 years. Ready for it to stop.
Stop it.
Mine as well and even managed to turn my adult daughters against me. It took me too long to realize her narcissism
Thank you for explaining it so clearly! My ex still continues to spread rumors and lies. It’s been 20 years. The important people finally saw through his lies. Everyday is a another day to stay calm and remember he will be judged someday for every lie he has spoken. That’s where my peace is.
Mine did that, and then one day I calmly said: " You do realize I know just as much about your weaknesses as you do mine right? How about I start telling them to EVREYONE?. I have plenty of time to let everyone know every single one of your weaknesses". It wasn't planned but I was amazed how well it worked. I never heard from him again, either directly or indirectly through someone else.
My ex will do that anytime he gets a chance. He has one of our daughters to pick up where he left off too. I’m extremely guarded when I’m around her and very cautious about what I let her know about me
@@bizygirl1 This happened to me and is still happening after 40 years. He is dying, but not soon enough for me. My son has gone to take care of him.
@@HitherandYarn 40 years? Gawd…. Hopefully you’ll have peace soon.
Remember when you are letting go and protecting yourself....that God says that our fight is not against flesh and blood but rulers and principalites in the dark world and wickedness and evil in high places...our fight is not against the person it is against the evil one satan...pray fornthose that betray us and sin against us... they will be judged...DO YOUR SPIRITUAL WARFARE DURRING YOUR PRAYER TIME AND ALL, DAY LONG IF YOU HAVE TO.. REBUKE THE DEVIL AND HE MUST FLEE...MUST! FLEE!
Unfortunately this is just another form of abuse they use to ruin you in every way. The worst part is the BETRAYAL OF PEOPLE WHO YOU THOUGHT WERE YOU TRUE FRIENDS, FAMILY, ETC.
IT IS TRUE THAT “ THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT TRUE LOYALISTS AND FRIENDS TO YOU”!!
IT ALL HURTS THE SAME A HORRIBLE GRIEF AND SHOCK TO GO THROUGH
Trust Only in GoD
Ok... WHO DOES THIS SHIT THOUGH!..! NOBODY I KNOW DOES...Bu5 thts because ive taken my precious self and my precious heart out of the company of those that do...and either surrounded myself with myself or am spending my time and life with people who dont do these things. THESE type of people are 100% EVIL...i ask myself if i would be able to be friends sibling or partner or spouse to anyone eho behaves or acts in this manner and my responce to myself is allways the same" HELL NO"...MY BIGGEST concern is , is these are grown ass adults behaving like this..they even go to CHURCH .. and praseujarah the same God i do.. Capital YUCK! it makes me ill to even visualise them doing so...my question is this.. being that we all know this behavior is wrong and should never do it.., even with out God in our lives, people are not all fools, but saying that you have a relationship with God, and you purposely methodically ostracise TERRORIse and emotionaly abuse your dearest family members or ANYBODY for that matter!!!, Do you really think that God turns his direction off of you for those times that you do these evil things to people and he blinds himself of your actions and your lukewarmativity toward his commandments... and just forgets your shit? And do you think that your that special that he is going to change his ultimate plan and commandments for the Universe...on YOUR day of recconning, just so you may torture horrang and ostracize YOUR sibling?
OR a daughter? Or A son? A mother? A father? My Bible tells me he is going to SPEW YOU OUT OF HIS MOUTH LIKE VOMITT AND POISON! IN your TIME of recconning....we serve the same God!!!.. Dont be used by Satan and become the Hugest Shame and an ultimate liability to the Heavenlys, therefore you will be cast out and be tortured ostracised and horranged 7 times the measure you have measured out to those you have harmed in this manner ...7 times harsher than you did unto your sibling...7 times! Wow...! It really SUCKS TO BE YOU!..GROW UP! AND QUIT BEING DOUBLE MINDED AND CRUEL! GOD IS NOT TURNING HIS HEAD AND YOU ARE NOT THAT SPECIAL THAT HE WOULD. TREAT PEOP,E HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED! ASSHOLE
Depends on whether you respect those shallow herd -mentality people , attempting to validate themselves .
@randyn-ry7cv -
I am sorry for your experience with abuse. Narcissists come in all shapes and sizes. Its not a cookie cutter shape where everyone fits into a mold.
For example, my narcissist mother was not religious, not into church, but more into the spirituality of all that Crystal crap, yoga, chackra, whatever bullshit. Tarot cards, mediums, all of it. She made excuses for her behavior, as if it what was meant to happen. Assault, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, mental abuse, I was told I would be "gotten rid of" in every way you can think of and more. AND THAT THIS WAS WHAT THE BLAH .. BLAH... BLAH... SAID needed to happen to me. So I needed to be grateful for the abuse. It could be much worse, she said, referring to those Christian families.
The Christian Families don't sexualize their children in elementary school; so I to be grateful for who (adult) was interested in me at 8 years old.
My point is... Narcissists will USE anything to abuse.
I'm older now, with a child of my own, I rebelled and became a born-again Christian.
I have heard horror stories of parents who go to church like you stated and are narcissists.
They are who they are and nothing would have changed them to be better.
You couldn't have done anything to prevent the abuse from happening to you. I am so very sorry for all that you went through.
I hope that you find peace. Jesus Christ gave me my peace, to live. I hope you can find peace and know that some Christians want what is best for you. I certainly do.
(I don't think your narcissist that abused you was a true Christian. Just for the record.)
May you find peace and tranquillity. Much Love to you. And stay safe. 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
@@marthaanderson2967 Well nicely said! Although it would be A WHOLE LOT NICER if they were segregated completely and forever from society....We Just do not need the extra interfereance ( the people who have applied principles and have put in a huge amount of thier life time to NOT BE LIKE THEM, AND HAVE EXCELLED BECAUSE OF IT!) YOU just cant reason with these bung holes... they bought and paid for the stupid LANE they drive their sorry selves!
Been dealing with this for years. It's so sick I can't even think clearly.
Sit down with a therapist to clear your head. Then, either throw the narcissist out or pack your stuff and leave. I'm telling you from experience it won't change, or get better, and it really is a choice of survival -- it's me or you if you will.
@@pamela5568 Thanks for the kind words and suggestions. If I could do such a thing financially I would. The damage done is far more extensive than just psychological.
@pabo8080 you can do it. Call your county mental health facility and get a therapist. They work on a sliding fee scale based on your income. You can also utilize 12 step meetings such as CODA and ACOA. It all starts with your mental health.
Pull close to Jesus.. this is a precursor to what the End is going to be like.... you can do all things through him who strenghtens YOU... NOT THEM YOU! YOUR STRONG.... AND YOUR GOING TO BE MIGHTY BEFORE ITS ALL OVER! AND YOU WIN WITH JESUS...PRAY FOR THIER SOULS. HELL WASNT MADE FOR ANY HUMAN... everyone wil. Have the time to see for themselves and the choice is up to your heart what will be the ending of your story! A
Either way darling one you have Eternity...not all of them WILL!
@@pamela5568 golden words! you know what you are talking about!
One of the sad things about this is that losing one's support system is not only incredibly painful emotionally but it can also eventually cause one to become at risk physically, especially when one gets older. It's really important to have a support system in your older years so that people can watch out for each other. It's important in your younger years too but when you are older it can be even more risky to be alone. Having no one to advocate for you when you are in the hospital or a nursing home can be dangerous, especially if your are very ill, and living alone with no one to check up on you is also more risky. It's sad that people who once had a support system can lose it all because of one person. The fact that so many people are so easily influenced is frightening.
I first shook off a narcissist friend after 2 years and my family warned me and supported me afterward, then covid hit and my family and friends did the same thing to me but I had learned my lesson by then.
My husband and neighbours and employees pulled me through. they are awesome.
its a tricky world sometimes.
Ive experienced this to the point of heartbreak. Stand tall in your truth and love people.
I once said to one of my siblings "Don't you see how (my mom) plays us against each other?" They looked spaced out and said "No."
You planted a seed sweet one.
My sister and I compare what is said to us. Mother is always fishing us about each other and hates it if we are shopping or out to eat,lm 63 and sister is 55. It never stops.
Not everyone is as intuitive as you.
Well...some of us live in denial that people can be that evil...it takes a lightbulb moment...then you can't unsee it...:(😢
@randallv9719😂
My ex narc used triangulation and money to turn my children against me. Prayers sent to all that need them❤
My prayers to you too
Still happening to me after 30 years!
@@audreyp7071 I’m so sorry. Sending You strength and love
@@audreyp7071 My heartfelt prayers to you, me too...their goal is that you lose everything, that feeds their ego. My faith in Jesus Christ gets me through...a wonderful peace and joy that surpasses all understanding is real. God bless you
I can feel the pain. That’s what happened to me too.
Stay strong.
Well said. It hurts so much in the thick of it, but Jesus Christ helped me through so that I did not despair of my life.
Amen!
Going no contact helped me👍🏼
@@maggiemay8622 …wish I could…married…with children
Thank you Jesus
Julie, glad to hear your words of wisdom. It's the same for me too. Jesus is the friend that sticks closer than a brother. ❤
It’s as if you’re explaining exactly what has happened to me. It feels like God has sent this video to me. Thank you. It’s comforting to know I am not alone.
You are not alone, if you can separate your yourself.
I will not apologize to anyone, when i am not at fault. Nkr will i expain myself to anyone any longer. Either u for me or against. Thats why i only have a few people in my circle.
This is happening to me right now…it has made me physically sick. I am struggling and feel sad.
They brainwash you to believe that they are right always. Don’t be sad, get out and be happy that they are out your life. They lie and lie but you know the truth. Praying for you 🙏❤️
Say this to yourself... it's me or you. Survival. They will not change, or get better. Throw the person out of your life (and house if necessary), or pack your stuff and leave. I went through 7 years of that crap with my first husband and it came down to me choosing me.
I've been dealing with this for over 4 years now. Unfortunately I have a son to the person in question and cant just walk away....that is if I hope to have a healthy relationship with my son. Best thing is to keep your distance from the person as much as possible though. For self preservation purposes. I'm praying for her also, and hoping that God can do a miracle in her heart. All things are possible with God. Get some space for yourself if you can and try to get some support. Even a counsellor if there's no one else to bounce things off. You need support.
Maybe your son wouldbe better off without that narc in his life also? God did arrange a perfect solution. narc divorced me and claimed another man was the father. He was not but became the adopted father and grandfather!!!! Great 40 + years.
Walk even run away from these demonic creeps you don't need them and their nasty demonic crap and you will find peace and quiet you haven't known before
It's sad how evil people are
Weak rather than evil. Just self-absorbed; desperate to always control the narrative about how perfect they are; and able to justify the hurt that they do because they are punishing a person whom they see as deserving of the punishment; who needs to learn a lesson. It's all about twisted, delusional thinking that makes them variously white knight, judge, jury and executioner.
Ya know what pulls that plug real fast - do something spontaneous when the Narc has a special occasion planned. Such as show up to their party when you clearly were not invited & be happy, talk to everyone like a day never passed. This for sure will throw the Narc in a complete tizzy ! I did this once & the Narc was in complete shock & some true colors came out & they were the ones that looked embarrassing.
How did you find out about the party ?
👏 Excellent 😂
Not an easy thing to do when you have a broken heart, l simply wasn't up to it, both physically and emotionally.
Narcissists can't handle witnesses! If they can't isolate their intended victim it makes their job that much harder.
They know EXACTLY the damage they cause when they do this. I'm going through this right now.
They know.
So am I
@@barbarafrank2427 I'm sorry. : (
If they would be conciuoss than they would not cause damages everywhere. How stupid can they be, to keep abusing others and nothing happend to them? If they end up in jail one by one, than maybe they will be recovered at brain in jail, since they are so stupid.
Enemies of our own households are soooo true !!
Yup
My mother used to always tell me that if someone treats you badly stay away from them. This is an excellent piece of advice when dealing with a narcissist. I know personally because I have a daughter who is a full-blown narcissist in the only way I can deal with her is to stay the hell away from her.
Narcissist are created from bad parenting.
I sure understand -- I am dealing with that with my own daughter . I can’t deal with her - so I simply don’t . It is sad .
Janet and Mary z, I too have a 40 odd year old daughter who kept asking me to visit her she kept phoning me at 2 o'clock in the early morning playing music and not speaking ! She had drank alcohol beforehand ? And turning my other Chiodren against me ? She's done a great job because I've not seen my other 3 Sons and their Children for years ? Sad really ? I also found a long lost Sister in Australia and after just a few conversations I knew she was a full blown Narcissist for sure ! So, I cut her off hope you both find peace xx
I think you are supposed to time them out when they are little so that they become well-adjusted adults. I'm always a little skeptical of parents complaining about their children. Did you raise her or did someone else? Are you reaping what you sowed?
Going through the narcissistic trauma, and the ensuing abandonment, is like the grief one feels of a loved one who died. The target's treatment is more devastating than others realize.
Not all people experience this type of spiritual and emotional and psycological abuse. I think females Th a t jave been raised by mothers lot of times are conyinuing the abuse and gettinglife partners just like tĥe nsp mother. They feel comfortable living in kaos.. being treated as insignificant, being abandoned, being treated shitty, all the things a nsp does its like psycological MURDER.
Yes , I am grieving the loss of the fantasy that my sister will want to be loving and caring. She did horrible things even moved in w our mother and neglected her saying later it was her time to die. She said she left early and came home late not to see her. If only I knew My sister made it seem she was caring for her.
@@JnTmarie My little brother dropped me out of a second story window because I wouldn't get out of bed. Though that isn't narcissism, it is being a jerk.
If i could id hit the big thumbs up like 1000 times....that is the truest!
@@johnorr8094 Jerk.. honey that little asshole needed to be put in prison or a mental ward...are you o.k?
It is even more awful when it is your own mother who does this. But God has a plan for her and for all the rest of this so called family I was born into.
Had I learned these things earlier I wouldnt find myself surrounded by them unknowingly. It's tough. Really tough. Family, friends, exes, Ive been a mega magnet my entire life and just realized.
.......“When you are up to your ass in alligators it’s difficult to remember that your initial objective was to drain the swamp” I'm 74 and I can see now the "man behind the curtain" ...it is horrible what was done to my life. I am at peace now, but wary of people.....
you probably noticed the signs and gut feeling but ignored it.
you have to re learn to trust your gut feeling. There is always something that feels warped or fake about them. Eventually you can recognize that from a mile away.
My narcissist sister turned EVERYONE in my family against me, sisters, brother, cousins, ants, uncles, and even childhood friends. She's now trying to find my network in social media so she can befriend them and turn them against me also. It's like she's one of satan's demons, literally. I cried out to God for justice and claimed scripture verses including the curses of Deuteronomy 28 on her.
Pray Psalm 35 and Psalm 109 against her. Use her full name in place of the pronouns in these Psalms. See what happens.
Good scripture. I have been through so much of what you are going through. I am getting old now, and are not willing to put up with their torment.
These people do have demons in them, lm not joking, its frightning
Isaiah 54:17
Do not curse her, just bless her in your prayers. Jesus said to pray for our enemies and bless those who curse us. If you want to be effective start blessing her in love. No not in person, continue to keep your distance but by prayer. That puts the ball in God's court and He will stand for you and bless you way more than if you are trying to curse her. In the OT they cursed and did the eye for an eye but now in the new covenant Jesus wants us to keep our heart clean and be above getting dirty and even and bless our enemies because He knows they are only harming their own selves. They are reaping what they sow. You may not see it but they are hurting themselves and even their bloodline. The best thing to do in prayer is speak to God and allow Him to guide you in praying. Pray that God shake this sister and cancel every lie and slander she's spoken of you to others and that God brings her tough correction in order to save her soul. That she soon realize that God is real and standing for you and if she does not repent she will be liable for the vengeance of God. Above all move in love and you will be rewarded.
The information about you doesn't have to be lies, the bad things about you can be true, it's just that the narcissist will FOCUS ON those more negative things about you to turn others against you.
They love to use victimless crimes against their targets. Many narcissists are puritans and puritans are the easiest people to recruit as "flying monkeys".
This happened decades ago to me, a family member turned the rest of the remaining family against me with great success. I didn't understand or know the name and mechanics of what they did until now. Thank you for the clarity of understanding that.
Me too, I was and am absolutely amazed at how willing others were to believe the lies (both family members, in-laws and family friends) all fell for this. The hurt was deep and, yes it made for a lonely life for us and our children. Even my young daughter's funeral became an opportunity for a grand display of friend and family unity against us. I.e. causing a scene in the church!
Over the many years since then I have lived "beyond the pale"...as It became obvious to me that any contact with me or anyone who knew me, stirred up more stories and lies. Sadly, these extended to our country of origin, to turn aunties and cousins against us.
I consider myself the strong one to have outlasted the effects of this, my strength comes from Jesus alone, as He suffered lots of these tactics against Him, culminating in His death. There is a peace over many years in leaving your reputation in Gods loving hands, knowing that He sees, He knows, this causes us to be able to live our life anyway.
One thing though, never try to explain your family situation to those who have a normal family, they just don't get it.
God bless you, beloved.
@@r.stevenson8159 It's great when you meet someone who does get it though. The first time my husband met my sister, when she left he asked what her deal was. He was bf at that time and I was so happy that he saw straight through her without me saying a word. I could have married him then and there!
This exact thing happened to me. My ex-sister-in-law is a malignant narcissist. She's horrible. And she went about telling everyone horrible lies about me, leaving out key details that shed me in a good light,. I saw, screw them. I don't want friends who won't come to me to find out what is going on in MY life. I cut them all free and I won't interact with them anymore. I'm so sick of this high school-level crap.
Ex act ly ( word intentionally separated into syllables ). Ex partners "act ," as if you are the worst person on the planet because you refuse to tolerate their poor behavior(s). 🙄🙄🙄
I left my high school emotions in my past. 🙂
Those demons are extremely aware of the consequences of their actions. They may lack empathy, but do not be deceived, they do what they do simply because they don't care. Their greatest pleasure is to observe the harm and hurt they inflict on others through projecting their evil deeds onto others and constantly spreading lies. Just like their master, they exist to kill, steal and destroy.
Truth !!!!! 😈with skin on. They never change 😢. Evil
Agree
I'm 79 yrs old ur right. That's what my only child a sons done to me. His dad was a narcist 25 yrs of that now 33 yrs of him who is far worse.. I'm all alone almost penniless waiting for Jesus to rescue us. This world he said would end up with people lovers of self that's a sign of him coming to take us away.
There is nothing like the awareness,it empowers you.Thank you for the ones who bring the light.
This happened to me. It’s shocking to experience.
I ran a meet up group that was open to everyone and I created opportunities for everyone. I invested my time, money and effort to making sure everyone found joy when they came out. Friendships and acquaintances. People said nice things about me.
Then I met a man in the group that love bombed me.
He assured me we were a couple, he would marry me, he thought I was amazing and to prove it to me took me overseas to meet his family in England and Ireland at his nephews wedding. They included me in the wedding pictures as “family”. On the trip I found he was controlling, he did not want me out of his sight, he didn’t even want me to walk outside by myself. He was clingy and controlling. He refused to let me see or do what I wanted to see or do. I wasn’t allowed to even go swimming in the hotel pool because him and his sister made a tight schedule for me without my agreement. I played it cool. Didn’t rock the boat because they started scaring me. Got back and when I felt safe burst into tears. He went around telling my members bad things about me and of how generous he was to me and he said I was ungrateful. I should obey him. He broke up my group. He convinced many of bad things about me that I never did. He posted online me in embarrassing ways that were not true. For a man that went out his way to prove he loved me and wanted to marry me, his behaviour was shocking. There is more, but you get the idea. In the end it seems he did all this because he wanted to take me over and control me. He saw me as kind, and he misjudged it as weakness. Stay strong my friends. I learned a lot my friends.
Love your self FIRST before anyone. Everything else’s will fall into place when you know YOU have your back. Don’t let these manipulators bully you.
They act like a good kind person to get what THEY want from you, but you will soon see their true colours. They have their own back and could not careless about you. Stay strong my friends, there is good true living people out there. You just need to learn how to discern people that have personal agendas and those that are transparent and genuine with you. Some with addendas can pretend to be transparent, but if you question them, you will soon see they have motives for getting what they want from you.
One more thing,
He will stonewall you, give you the silent treatment and gossip and bad mouth you to many others instead of talking the person he says he has a problem with. I never knew what stonewalling was till I met him. They refuse to answer or talk to you. They have no intentions of trying to resolve anything they say they have a problem with. He wanted me to like what he liked, think like him and do what he did, and forget about my own wants, need and desires.
Please, please, jump with Joy, you didn’t marry him. 🎉🥳🤣🥰
I'm sorry this happened 🌿💙🌿
It does bring a tear to the eye listening to all you brave people's stories.
I’ve always said, trips and material gifts are only bc they can afford it. I have heard, but he gave me a beautiful diamond ring. It’s the heart that counts. Money, often has no value to some people. Get to know them. Ask God to guide you. He is the only assurance we have.
I am sorry for you. I was this stupid once too. But it is the 100% description of a goal- set up manipulator of well minded people. A picture of a fuck, who think he is the best & special what was born to this world... Holly shit! It costs me also a lot!
That is why you must never fear the narcissist, while in the no contact phase, plan an exit strategy, record/document everything if you’re still with the narcissist, get your finances in order, leave the narcissist as soon as your able to, expose the narcissist for who they really (if it’s safe to do so), and make sure you have no sympathy or mercy on the narcissist at any time……all you are doing is giving them a taste of their own medicine for all those years of hell they gave you. ✊🙏
Yes, the good people will approach you directly. There were only a couple in my circle. It was shocking.
I believe that if someone is talking badly about you to other people, they are really talking about themselves, revealing what kind of person they truly are.
I can relate my ex went to everyone about everything and if i said anything about them he told it all. He turned so many friends/family against me. I just cut off everyone who had any connections to him. I didn't have the mental health to deal with it all. So to heal i unplugged 😨
I understand 🙏
I hear you
Having dealt with two narcissistic siblings who attempted these tactics, somehow I was aware of this but I really didn't care and kept moving forward. Only I was contributing to my well being. I did not care what was being said or to whom.
I was forced to do the same, very painful process to go through. Prayers for you and all victims of these vile flesh sacks
I did too. I couldn't compete with my brother and the fact he's rich and successful and I'm not.
How are you doing?
My mom is being targetted by a group of women who hated that she moved in to a unit in a townhouse complex that the theft gang of women thought of as "theirs". There are no trusted friends as they recruited at least two cop "friends" who make her life a living hell. They lie to everyone including her co-workers, they pretend they are "investigating" her and even at her high school reunion with people she hadnt seen in 20 years I saw the impact the narcassists had done to her life - even friends from high school turned their backs on her and I heard two guys talking about it in the bathroom - how they didnt think it was right that someone so nice and now with kids they couldnt talk to. They wanted to talk to my Mom but they were not allowed to!!!! These narcs went after anyone and everyone in her past and present. It is horrible to watch my mother be treated in such a horrible way by a bunch of women who are nothing but liars.
Get her out of there
@@yvettevandermerwe6354 Best advice. She may even be in physical danger.
Wow! It’s amazing how board some pathetic people are man get a life mind your own business leave her alone
Bless her😢
Sounds like witches.
Terrible when You have these kind of people in lawenforcement..
😢
It is th u stood in the hallways offending me.wisj they shut up.i just hope Arthur gets the word out to leave me alone ....Arthur I'd trust in everything
It reeks through law enforcement....otherwise how are they able to bypass and get away with this crap.
That'd be rough. I can't imagine.
@@freespirit5234 LE DO NOT HAVE TO ABIDE BY THE LAWS NECISARILY, THEY CAN LIE, NOT BE FAIR, AND SCREW WITH YOUR MIND..TO GET YOU TO TELL THE TRUTH... ITS ALL A FORM OF NARCISSISM BUT MUCH LESS BECAUSE IT IS BUS8NESS NOT JUST A WILLFULL WEAKNESS BORN OF THE DEMON THEY MAY BE ALLOWING TO PUPPET THEM STRAIGHT BACK INTO HELL.
Exactly the kind of profession that attracts these POS's. Along with judges, politicians, lawyers, school boards, HOA boards. Any position that allows them to wield power.
NEVER trust ANYONE with power. Those people don't just find themselves in those positions by chance.
What I decided to do was box up all the beautiful photos of her as a child and mail them to her. It was like show, not tell. This response spoke volumes without me having to defend myself. My ex cannot contest the beauty of my gesture and the genuine feelings the photos show. Stay graceful. Stay dignified. That's the only way to put out the narc's fire.
Friends and family all over our country were turned against Me, which shocked me! So I am learning to be happy alone. It has been shocking!
We all know how bad a narc is.... but the real question is, how can they be stripped of their influence and power? The world is filled with these types, and defeating them is a good skill to aquire.
We must remove their ability to harm others, I work on me to get stronger.
Looking at your question and as an American who is equating the influential and the powerful to the politicians and the wealthiest of the wealthiest here than the answer is nothing.
Exposure is somehow the key. Find their weakness and expose it, usually its their false persona.
Give it time. Those that turned against you and believed the narcissist will soon find themselves hurt by that same narcissist. Then they will understand the truth and they may come to you for support and ask for your forgiveness. A leopard doesn't change it's spots and what the narcissist did to you he or she will soon do to others.
I pray every day that that's true.
Unless they are all narcissists
After having this happen to me, I don't give the time of day to ANYONE that turns ageinst me! END OF STORY
@@devilsatan2973 Good Going!!! You're smart!
@@Kathleen67. And in that case --- good riddance to them all.
The important thing to take here is that people who are willing to turn against you so easily were never true friends to begin with, and you are better of without them.
Wrong! There is evil influence controlling them. Pray.
Wrong. There is a powerful evil influence at work with enhanced capacity to control and manipulate and influence people.
I cannot thank you enough. Currently, I am being targeted by a narcist who has been digging for some time. It is a hard fight, but I believe one day everything will stop, and the truth will be revealed.
They need to feed off of your negative energy that they force you to create. Laugh at them they can not handle the light over darkness..
I'm 40, and only a year ago I found out about how devious these people really are. This shocked me to the core, and I have cut everyone who isn't in my most closest circle out like tumour, but you are right because you find out who are genuine and who are not.
Not all narcissists exude charm and charisma. Many are repugnant. It's in the vibes they exude -- it's dark and discordant: the shifty eyes, the menacing mannerisms, the condescending tone of their voice, the need to boast. It's also how they hold their face, how they flail their arms to push u to do what they want. Listen to the way they convey themselves. It's always circular. They never talk straight. You can't have an argument or conversation with them. They just bulldoze their way through.
All the ones that I have dealt with have been and are like this. Their flying monkeys are those that resonate on the same level as them. But they too have their own agenda with the narcissist.
I absolutely agree with you!
Abandon such evil people 😢
I wrote that down. Good information. Sooo true. Also they lie and lie and lie
I called my MIL the pinballer...when she was fixing to let loose...her eyes looked like a pinball machine...back and forth rapidly...you could almost hear the bells...and the pinging😢😂
Some narcissists don't need and are not charismatic. They use power and fear to subjugate others.
I've been in the kind brother position all my life. So much of what the family narc has done over the years never added up. Everyone knows this too yet nobody but me will stand up and fight back against all the lies and manipulation.
but its so freeing to finally learn to say: "no thank you" and smile. Just keep repeating just that and they will get the gest...Silence is so powerfull and totally creeps them out
People know exactly what they're doing. It's self preservation... And it's also people who never really liked you getting an opportunity and running with it
I have been carrying the scars inflicted by a narcissist for many years but as I discover my conscious I become less burdened and I am now feeling pity for this person and I have gone through enough to now start enjoying my own company that I no longer care for thid person followers mostly my siblings.If they could ignore me because of the lies of my ex narcissist husband then they do not worth my energy. I therefore pull away myself aside and watch the drama or the movie. I am yet to see the end of the show. As a result I am truly happy as I persue my conscious self. I am thankful as I now see the situation as stepping stone to discovering my true self. I do hope they will also discover their true selves also. I am so free and is bubbling with al this joy. There is no longer any space within me for entertaining their antics. You are doing a very good job helping and reaching out to the victims of the victim of all.
The critical message here is to act with grace. It is futile to deny the narcissist's lies and engage with their manipulation. Continue to behave with compassion, love, kindness, and grace. To produce counter-arguments merely makes it more difficult for others to tell who is right and who is lying - because the debate is reduced to school playground levels. It won't solve your problems immediately but, over time, many of those who were targeted by the narcissist will come to recognize that the person you have been portrayed as is not a true representation of who you are. One other thing: the narcissist might well deploy the tactic of accusing you of the very offences of which they are guilty and, if they can, they will do so early. Don't engage and remember: Grace!
Hear, Hear.
I learned to welcome the flying monkey's efforts to spread negative rumors about me. It is actually a great way to see who is worthy of your friendship. If anyone believes gossip and false stories about me, why in hell would I want to associate with them? From this perspective, the narcissist is actually (and has in the past) doing me a great favor. The narc is allowing their acquaintances to clearly demonstrate their true character without me ever forcing the issue myself 😊.
Please remember how clever the narcissist is - my daughter was married to one & I’m very close to her however he told me he was worried that she relied on me too much & he was worried about her mental health & how she would cope if I died so he thought I should distance myself from her - I believed all this as at the time I knew nothing about narcissism & I distanced myself - much later when we realised what was going on she told me that at that time she was struggling with a job he pushed her into getting that she was out of her depth with & she was really hurt & confused when I backed off! It’s complicated isn’t it! 😮
Thank you for sharing this. When you’re not a narcissist, you are unaware of one in your life, so it’s very confusing! Just like if you’re not a thief, you’ll be baffled at the way people steal…. All those creative ways.
I've dealt with this and refuse to spend my energy on people who believe Narcissists so when it comes to family and friends siding against me via narcissistic gaslighting I abandon and go go silent on them indefinitely so they will be alone with their lies which usually results in the retrospection they should have practiced to begin with. But that being said people who betray me in such a matter get cut off basically forever, I just dont put up with it.
In my case the narcissistic partner and my own brother and sister chose to listen and believe everything. My sister made sure she called every relative she hadn't spoken within the last 20 years to tell them how awful I was. Yet she claimed we were so close. We were never close, she chose to rat me out many times after speaking confidentially to her. The loss of my ex and my family and siblings was something I accepted. Haven't spoken in almost twenty years to them, they are certainly not role models for my children.
God, have mercy on victims
You have to go through this nightmare. Worse is not to be able to defend your self . HELP!
Not sure if you are asking for help or making an observation so forgive me if I have misunderstood.
You are right it is a nightmare, a living nightmare. Unfortunately it has to be gone through one way or another. Depending on the specific circumstances it can be dealt with by a complete cutting of ties to the person, which is probably the best way.
If circumstances don't allow for this one way to defend is to give them no ammunition, don't confide with them. Choose your words carefully when you speak to them.
It seems useless to try to resolve things with rational conversation, they feed off of this, it empowers them.
It's difficult, very difficult but try to act as if it does not affect you, ie. continue as if it's not happening so that you do not appear as desperate, which gives a narcissist
encouragement.
By the time a person is aware of the attack the narcissist has been carrying out their plan for sometime, to defend against this is difficult, not impossible, because you don't know what has been said or to whom it has been said, as people rarely let you know for one reason or another, either embarrassment or meanness or something else in between those two.
If you feel you can trust one of the potential 'hearers' slip it into a conversation with that one whether they are aware of any gossip about you. Depending on the answer take it from there. It's not easy that's why cutting off is preferable.
If you are in this situation try to be strong, stay strong. You have my empathy.
Even when they know that the narcissist has a personality disorder and has made trouble for others they can be taken in by their stories and start acting cold & uncommunicative with you. I just don’t understand how they can be so gullible knowing that they are selfish and unbalanced.
This information is spot on. When this was done to me, I did sit down with certain individuals and had an open discussion with them. They know I walk with integrity and honor and never lie, so they were willing to listen and believe me. I’ve let go of those that really didn’t matter but was still so hurtful, like when she told the school not to let me near her kids because she said I was going to kidnap them. I just had to swallow that one (just one of many examples) and let it go. It’s an extremely hard thing to deal with and I just say to others “you are not alone”
"Breaking down your support system" is an incredibly important point! I thought the narc was just being their usual toxic self and trying to turn people against their target, never made the connection to the target's support system at all. That's huge!