I'm so glad to hear someone talk about this. 3 inter-related rules I live by : Assume good intent until proven otherwise... and then back out carefully, walk away with dignity, if true harm is intended. Don't take things personally, bc you're simply not that important. 😂 If you have a problem with someone, go to them directly, ask for elaboration without pre- judgment. If more of us practiced this daily, the world would be a far saner place.
Laurie Paris I love how you have expanded on these 3 rules. Good and appropriate practice in applying boundaries. It’s like “do no harm” to others and yourself. Misunderstandings will happen and hopefully can be resolved with a bit of reality testing, dignity, and grace.
Patricia Muir Thank you, Patricia. I came from a household where highly disfunctional behavior was modeled and had to come to these rules on my own later in life, in order to maintain my sanity. You are an astute observer... "Primum non nocere" is my life motto.
Laurie Paris Thank for sharing your motto. It goes beyond the concept of “do no harm” and requires us to consider how our attempt to fix an issue can actually do more harm. Some may think that the decision to not act or interfere is passive. However, it can be the best decision. Until reading you comment and quote, I did not appreciate that this has become part of my natural evolution in dealing with misunderstandings and conflict. I now find myself asking “how will my response help to improve the situation or add value to the conversation or relationship”.
Patricia Muir You are a wise woman, Patricia! So many of us lead an unexamined life, and play the blame/l'm offeded game rather than objectively examining a situation for what it truly is, looking for a solution that benefits all. I've been guilty of this as well. Nowadays in the rare cases I'm triggered, ie having a reaction all out if proportion to the stimulus, 😨 I recognize and step back from reaction, wait until I can make a considered response. Mel's 5 sec rule works well for this, but sometimes I need more time to be able to respond rather than react. The point being I give myself that time and stay quiet until I can respond! 😂 Everytime I have not, I've regretted it... words once spoken, cannot be unheard. Mel brings up some excellent points about torturing oneself with fabricated drama, all the what ifs. Just an observation, but women seem to be more prone to this second guessing than men. I'm not sure if there's a biological basis for this, or that simply men have been trained from an early age to discipline their emotions and get on with the task at hand? Perhaps it's a bit of both. I only know that it exists.
Laurie Paris Thank you for your acknowledgement. I do get hurt...no mistake. And these days, being more feisty than in my younger days, I sometimes feel the urge to really “let them have it”. But then, I revisit my commitment to myself to be kind and gracious which serves me and protects my self-regard. Like you, I have my triggers. However, I know that I will dwell longer on my reaction than the other person and I will beat myself up. They will just go on to trigger someone else - quite often without knowing. Your strategy to step back in order to consider your response gives you more power than you might think.
This is a great message. The world doesn't revolve around me and there are things that are not in my control. Assuming good content makes it easier to accept things as they are without being disappointed.
This was fantastic, was literally discussing this yesterday with people. Many people don't have intent to hurt or harm you in most cases, but we jump to conclusions, which is worse for us more than anyone. Wonderful video
I love this! I never (rarely is more accurate) assume someone is ill-intentioned. This has significantly improved my life. More often than not, people, just like myself, are forgetful, not thorough, not attentive to detail, distracted, forgetful, not great with words, etc. They didn't necessarily have the intention to hurt someone from the get go! The timing of this video in my life is perfect! Thank you.
I believe this message is more about controlling your response to a situation you as bad. Focusing on the good is always good. Never go down a path of negativity, which allows your mind to stay focus on where YOU want to go. Thanks for sharing.
I really like this advice. A friend of mine shared her philosophy (that i like a lot) with me long time ago and it is - ask once, apologize once and say Thank you, once.
Oh my God! Mel Robbins, I want you to know today that you are a life changer. Your videos are very impactful, mind-blowing and heart stopping, thank you for sharing. I am your number one fan, I love you. My name is Chioma from Nigeria.
Another thing is that 99% of the times,there is no intent.Yes,a friend might see your text and purposefully ignore it because he's watching a movie or sth,but it doesn't mean that he hates you and you're boring.It's just neutral.
LOVE this! Yes, we get hung up on such small things but so often people truly DO have the best intentions. We are all humans and we all make simple mistakes and most people don't wake up with the intention to go out and hurt others - there are simply misunderstandings and miscommunications along the way. Cheers!
there is a phrase in spain that says "Piensa mal y acertarás" which translates to something like "think paranoid (in a negative way) and you will be right"
Actually, I have the opposite problem. I believe in the good of everyone...that everyone has a good intention. That has lend to people taking advantage of me. I know I tend to be naive or too trusting...but there’s people who have done wonderful caring things for me! I guess it’s all about balance!
Some people, very few, are completely toxic - a different set of rules apply to such people - just dont let that make you jaded to the vast majority of others who are generally ell meaning.
6 лет назад
It's so assuring to know that a successful person like you still encounters mis-communication at work. I've been recently caught up in a mini-drama at work, which I didn't have any bad intentions but ppl still assumed that I deliberately wanted to cause harm. I tried to act professionally and explain things via emails. But there's no response. There was even a heated quarrel at work about me when I was not there. I felt terrible and wanted to quit the job. Thank you for this amazing video.
Everytime I feel not okay.. especially from work...I always used to watch all your encouraging videos ..and it makes me stress free... thanks for your help of giving an advice
Good advice. Of the times I've been met with a hostile customer being that I have worked in healthcare for 24 yrs now in many different positions.. I usually let their anger or frustration whether it was meant for me or not to just roll off my back. My job is to get at the heart of what they want corrected. I never let their emotional stride get to me as long as I focused on the heart of the issue they wanted taken care of.
Spot on today! Thank you, I was getting stressed out over being punctual at a job requests & arrived way early (my good intent) so I could have everything set up early. Then they were later than I expected & she made the comment "Wow! You were really early, hope I don't have to pay for your time for that." There was another activity too that was going on, I cleaned their area as well & they signed my time sheet too I informed her...but I've been wrecking my emotions since her comment thinking I did wrong. Thank you, I was just doing my best.😊 You inspire me so much!
Very useful ! I waste a lot of energy trying to figure out what other people think instead of focusing on what I do ans move on. Intending good is a lot more constructive. Thanks a lot ! Again ! ❤
This is a great point of view Mel! Thank you for your advice! I would still end relationships with people who do not respond to me to a message that clearly needs a response. It is very disrespectful.
Being surrounded by people with negative thoughts who love to assume bad about others actually made me realised sooner that to make them stop spoiling your day, you'll have to be the one to instigate good intents on them. Did this once too many times and it automatically instilled in my own attitude. Although that automatically disappeared when I'm driving... which something I'll need to fix. Thanks for this vid, and I'll surely share this with those people 🙂
Excellent point, Mel! Wow, I love how real you made this point, with your own clear example. I thank you for giving us this great advice and reminder to let go of our ridiculous stories, in which we are not just responsible for our own thoughts, actions and attitude... But somehow responsible for other people's lack of common courtesy and KINDNESS! CHEERS 🎉💖🤗💜
I love you Mel! You are the mother I never had. Thank you for your life lessons & sharing positivity! It’s contagious your absolutely Right we never know what’s going on Beyond what we can visualize.🤗
Thank you Mel Robbins. I was in the situation to a person who supposed to deliver me something but after numerous emails, WhatsApp and messages no response. Now I am going for 5,4,3,2,1 and let go. 😊 Great sharing Mel, gratitude 🙏
My two big takeaways from this: 1. What people do or say is not always what they intend to do/say. Sometimes we have to be the bigger person and try to see the positive intent in it. It may not be there always, but, it is good to do that check. Saves a lot of heartburn and prevents all kinds of relationships from going bust. 2. When we reach out to anyone, be it in dating or for new business if they don't respond, respect their choice not to respond. Not everyone is good at saying NO. For most people, it is difficult to give a rejection. The deafening silence is their way of saying a polite no. Nothing personal in it. Build your rejection muscle and move on.
Assumptions are always dangerous in my opinion - therefore when doing so, I encourage having a multidimensional perspective in everything (not just a single or two assumptions - no matter how strong they initially feel at the start), especially when you're not sure - and I think it's absolutely okay to be unsure about things because it takes patience and time to get a feel and know something or someone. However what I think we can always do is to encourage/acknowledge/validate peace-giving, respect-giving, fair-giving behaviour (from anyone - be they genuine or not) and that's where the "goodness" lies... and from there, the INTENTIONS behinds our actions can indeed change subconsciously and re-program your mind without you being aware of it.
Thank you so much for this! I've be going nuts now over something like that. Yes, torture myself, going over every single thing in my mind. Your video is such a great timing! 🌞
I love you Mel. Thanks for the awesome message, So true, assuming a positive intent is such a positive attitude towards life. Our state of heart determines our interpretation of life and ultimately what we get out of life.
We just had a big move to new digs at work. It's been so stressful. "Grace" is the word we're using. I also change the story narrative in my head. "Maybe the cat puked in their shoes before work." or "Maybe they've been sick and have a Nyquil hangover and their brain is a little scrambled." Sometimes I even amuse myself with the stories I make up. But the word of the moment for us is "grace". How hard is it to give people a little grace sometimes?
Great video! I have a personal rule that I employ often in my daily and professional life. If I try to deliver a message or say something to a person and I am interrupted three times (be it by indirect or direct circusmtances or that the person is simply not focusing) I let it go. Simply life told me the message was not meant to be delivered or at least not that day.
The challenge that this video posed was a very interesting one. It’s unfair to think that everyone has bad intentions. We should instead assume positive intent until proven otherwise. Seeing the best in people is a good way to live full out.
She’s right we automatically think they’re intentions are bad most of the time. Have the difficult conversation, get clarity.For me I have to wait and be patient. Even if their intentions are bad, I can assume good intent and let it go. She’s right ,I’m so annoyed I texted my Mechanic twice with no response it’s been almost a week. I don’t know what’s going on ,but I decided to let it go and find another mechanic don’t fight with the dude just let it go. That’s not the first time he has flaked on me I just genuinely hope he’s OK. LET IT GO! I’m not going to send him any nasty text messages etc. these are difficult times
Thank You Mel Mam! You provide us with this little hacks that make our understanding more deep around our inside world thus making us a better person Appreciated Mam
Definitely challenging, but super empowering. I think Tony Robbins put it this way, ask yourself, what else could this (action) mean? Really awesome share, Mel. Thank you.
Hey Ms. Mel You don’t know me but i’m a huge fan of you as person your short videos and of course your books I’m almost done with stop say you’er fine and i already have the five seconds rule So I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH
From New Zealand - I've probably become annoying by trying to contact "friends" more than three times and no response, all you want is to say hi there, how ya doing. So I've let them go, but usually with a "can't be bothered speaking to a brick wall" response, I like the "cricket" equation. I'll next time assume good intent, even if nothing comes of it.
I think the difficult task, for me, is to remember to do the 5,4,3,2,1. It's about me retraining my brain in these stressful times to think of the 5 second rule. Once I've done it a few times I'm sure it will become second nature.
I agree with everything you presented. However you're too kind, I only give my dates one chance. Maybe twice if I really like them and feel they are honestly busy. We are worth it!
Hmm. I was faced today with a customer who was pissed that we didn't sell the product he wanted, and he said because we didn't sell said product that he wanted that I WASN'T DOING MY JOB PROPERLY. He showed me his identification (like that mattered), and said his name. I just stared him straight in the face and said: "I don't care.' Because I didn't. It's not MY FAULT that some asshat is pissed they can't buy what they want from me. NOT my responsibility, not my concern. I NEVER assume the best about people. I just don t give a fuck about them anyway.
Great thinking. I am working on it. My car dealer annoys me for not answering my request of changing my contract, getting even a second car and maybe a third one too (car offer for my sister). I am beyond the point of not being annoying myself, mails and calls. There is not much choice in the vicinity. It is difficult for me being calm, my only choice, as it seems now, is to walk away and get a car dealer further away - what I dont like because of the distance. Any suggestion guys? Thanks a lot to Mel and her videos.
Love you mel, thanks for the amazing job
I'm so glad to hear someone talk about this. 3 inter-related rules I live by : Assume good intent until proven otherwise... and then back out carefully, walk away with dignity, if true harm is intended. Don't take things personally, bc you're simply not that important. 😂 If you have a problem with someone, go to them directly, ask for elaboration without pre- judgment. If more of us practiced this daily, the world would be a far saner place.
Laurie Paris I love how you have expanded on these 3 rules. Good and appropriate practice in applying boundaries. It’s like “do no harm” to others and yourself. Misunderstandings will happen and hopefully can be resolved with a bit of reality testing, dignity, and grace.
Patricia Muir Thank you, Patricia. I came from a household where highly disfunctional behavior was modeled and had to come to these rules on my own later in life, in order to maintain my sanity. You are an astute observer... "Primum non nocere" is my life motto.
Laurie Paris Thank for sharing your motto. It goes beyond the concept of “do no harm” and requires us to consider how our attempt to fix an issue can actually do more harm. Some may think that the decision to not act or interfere is passive. However, it can be the best decision. Until reading you comment and quote, I did not appreciate that this has become part of my natural evolution in dealing with misunderstandings and conflict. I now find myself asking “how will my response help to improve the situation or add value to the conversation or relationship”.
Patricia Muir You are a wise woman, Patricia! So many of us lead an unexamined life, and play the blame/l'm offeded game rather than objectively examining a situation for what it truly is, looking for a solution that benefits all. I've been guilty of this as well. Nowadays in the rare cases I'm triggered, ie having a reaction all out if proportion to the stimulus, 😨 I recognize and step back from reaction, wait until I can make a considered response. Mel's 5 sec rule works well for this, but sometimes I need more time to be able to respond rather than react. The point being I give myself that time and stay quiet until I can respond! 😂 Everytime I have not, I've regretted it... words once spoken, cannot be unheard.
Mel brings up some excellent points about torturing oneself with fabricated drama, all the what ifs. Just an observation, but women seem to be more prone to this second guessing than men. I'm not sure if there's a biological basis for this, or that simply men have been trained from an early age to discipline their emotions and get on with the task at hand? Perhaps it's a bit of both. I only know that it exists.
Laurie Paris Thank you for your acknowledgement. I do get hurt...no mistake. And these days, being more feisty than in my younger days, I sometimes feel the urge to really “let them have it”. But then, I revisit my commitment to myself to be kind and gracious which serves me and protects my self-regard. Like you, I have my triggers. However, I know that I will dwell longer on my reaction than the other person and I will beat myself up. They will just go on to trigger someone else - quite often without knowing. Your strategy to step back in order to consider your response gives you more power than you might think.
I am the worst for not responding to people but now I see that I must do better. Thank you Mel
You are the product of your thought.
This is a great message. The world doesn't revolve around me and there are things that are not in my control. Assuming good content makes it easier to accept things as they are without being disappointed.
This was fantastic, was literally discussing this yesterday with people. Many people don't have intent to hurt or harm you in most cases, but we jump to conclusions, which is worse for us more than anyone. Wonderful video
I love this! I never (rarely is more accurate) assume someone is ill-intentioned. This has significantly improved my life. More often than not, people, just like myself, are forgetful, not thorough, not attentive to detail, distracted, forgetful, not great with words, etc. They didn't necessarily have the intention to hurt someone from the get go! The timing of this video in my life is perfect! Thank you.
Thank you Mel! God bless you ❤️
I believe this message is more about controlling your response to a situation you as bad. Focusing on the good is always good. Never go down a path of negativity, which allows your mind to stay focus on where YOU want to go. Thanks for sharing.
I really like this advice. A friend of mine shared her philosophy (that i like a lot) with me long time ago and it is - ask once, apologize once and say Thank you, once.
Oh my God! Mel Robbins, I want you to know today that you are a life changer. Your videos are very impactful, mind-blowing and heart stopping, thank you for sharing. I am your number one fan, I love you. My name is Chioma from Nigeria.
Another thing is that 99% of the times,there is no intent.Yes,a friend might see your text and purposefully ignore it because he's watching a movie or sth,but it doesn't mean that he hates you and you're boring.It's just neutral.
LOVE this! Yes, we get hung up on such small things but so often people truly DO have the best intentions. We are all humans and we all make simple mistakes and most people don't wake up with the intention to go out and hurt others - there are simply misunderstandings and miscommunications along the way. Cheers!
there is a phrase in spain that says "Piensa mal y acertarás" which translates to something like "think paranoid (in a negative way) and you will be right"
Y así es...
great quote
Actually, I have the opposite problem. I believe in the good of everyone...that everyone has a good intention. That has lend to people taking advantage of me. I know I tend to be naive or too trusting...but there’s people who have done wonderful caring things for me! I guess it’s all about balance!
A Hoarder's Heart
Boundaries
yes
Same here , it’s important not to overdo it otherwise you will just suffer
Some people, very few, are completely toxic - a different set of rules apply to such people - just dont let that make you jaded to the vast majority of others who are generally ell meaning.
It's so assuring to know that a successful person like you still encounters mis-communication at work. I've been recently caught up in a mini-drama at work, which I didn't have any bad intentions but ppl still assumed that I deliberately wanted to cause harm. I tried to act professionally and explain things via emails. But there's no response. There was even a heated quarrel at work about me when I was not there. I felt terrible and wanted to quit the job. Thank you for this amazing video.
Everytime I feel not okay.. especially from work...I always used to watch all your encouraging videos ..and it makes me stress free... thanks for your help of giving an advice
Good advice. Of the times I've been met with a hostile customer being that I have worked in healthcare for 24 yrs now in many different positions.. I usually let their anger or frustration whether it was meant for me or not to just roll off my back. My job is to get at the heart of what they want corrected. I never let their emotional stride get to me as long as I focused on the heart of the issue they wanted taken care of.
Spot on today! Thank you, I was getting stressed out over being punctual at a job requests & arrived way early (my good intent) so I could have everything set up early. Then they were later than I expected & she made the comment "Wow! You were really early, hope I don't have to pay for your time for that." There was another activity too that was going on, I cleaned their area as well & they signed my time sheet too I informed her...but I've been wrecking my emotions since her comment thinking I did wrong. Thank you, I was just doing my best.😊 You inspire me so much!
I’ve been practicing this skill for about 2 years now and it gave me a different perspective and the way I feel now versus before is magical!
Very useful ! I waste a lot of energy trying to figure out what other people think instead of focusing on what I do ans move on. Intending good is a lot more constructive.
Thanks a lot ! Again ! ❤
Mel is a gift.. ♥️
This is a great point of view Mel! Thank you for your advice!
I would still end relationships with people who do not respond to me to a message that clearly needs a response. It is very disrespectful.
Being surrounded by people with negative thoughts who love to assume bad about others actually made me realised sooner that to make them stop spoiling your day, you'll have to be the one to instigate good intents on them. Did this once too many times and it automatically instilled in my own attitude. Although that automatically disappeared when I'm driving... which something I'll need to fix. Thanks for this vid, and I'll surely share this with those people 🙂
I learned this from Islam. To assume good intent in all people unless you have solid proof.
This was brilliant! Thank you so much 😊 Need to replay it and watch it a few more times so it sinks in.
For us "Thinkers" this is a game changer! Thanks!
Excellent point, Mel! Wow, I love how real you made this point, with your own clear example. I thank you for giving us this great advice and reminder to let go of our ridiculous stories, in which we are not just responsible for our own thoughts, actions and attitude... But somehow responsible for other people's lack of common courtesy and KINDNESS! CHEERS 🎉💖🤗💜
I love you Mel! You are the mother I never had. Thank you for your life lessons & sharing positivity! It’s contagious your absolutely Right we never know what’s going on Beyond what we can visualize.🤗
Thank you Mel Robbins. I was in the situation to a person who supposed to deliver me something but after numerous emails, WhatsApp and messages no response. Now I am going for 5,4,3,2,1 and let go. 😊 Great sharing Mel, gratitude 🙏
What a awesome thought to start my Sunday. It's true. Always assume good intent. Thanks Mel!
Thank you for being so open with your viewers.
My two big takeaways from this:
1. What people do or say is not always what they intend to do/say.
Sometimes we have to be the bigger person and try to see the positive intent in it. It may not be there always, but, it is good to do that check. Saves a lot of heartburn and prevents all kinds of relationships from going bust.
2. When we reach out to anyone, be it in dating or for new business if they don't respond, respect their choice not to respond.
Not everyone is good at saying NO. For most people, it is difficult to give a rejection. The deafening silence is their way of saying a polite no. Nothing personal in it. Build your rejection muscle and move on.
Assumptions are always dangerous in my opinion - therefore when doing so, I encourage having a multidimensional perspective in everything (not just a single or two assumptions - no matter how strong they initially feel at the start), especially when you're not sure - and I think it's absolutely okay to be unsure about things because it takes patience and time to get a feel and know something or someone. However what I think we can always do is to encourage/acknowledge/validate peace-giving, respect-giving, fair-giving behaviour (from anyone - be they genuine or not) and that's where the "goodness" lies... and from there, the INTENTIONS behinds our actions can indeed change subconsciously and re-program your mind without you being aware of it.
I am doing it every day. It is really working.
Thank you so much for this! I've be going nuts now over something like that. Yes, torture myself, going over every single thing in my mind. Your video is such a great timing! 🌞
Thank you! I needed to hear this today. I am really struggling with a person at work. This was great advice.
So true!!! Kick it to the curb!!!! I love your style of conveying your point!
I love you Mel. Thanks for the awesome message, So true, assuming a positive intent is such a positive attitude towards life. Our state of heart determines our interpretation of life and ultimately what we get out of life.
We just had a big move to new digs at work. It's been so stressful. "Grace" is the word we're using. I also change the story narrative in my head. "Maybe the cat puked in their shoes before work." or "Maybe they've been sick and have a Nyquil hangover and their brain is a little scrambled." Sometimes I even amuse myself with the stories I make up. But the word of the moment for us is "grace". How hard is it to give people a little grace sometimes?
Great video! I have a personal rule that I employ often in my daily and professional life. If I try to deliver a message or say something to a person and I am interrupted three times (be it by indirect or direct circusmtances or that the person is simply not focusing) I let it go. Simply life told me the message was not meant to be delivered or at least not that day.
Oh my gosh!! TOTALLY needed to hear this today. Thank you, Mel!!!!!!
Mel, this is amazing! The fact we can take negative thoughts of others and turn them into positivity is admirable. You are inspiring!
Me too. I like how Mel explained this concept.
The challenge that this video posed was a very interesting one. It’s unfair to think that everyone has bad intentions. We should instead assume positive intent until proven otherwise. Seeing the best in people is a good way to live full out.
Beautiful message and extremely difficult. Thank you
Absolutely love and respect you and your teams work Mel!
Amazing! What an eye opener! Thank you for changing my life and perspective on the world ❤️
Ohhhhh Mel...nailed it ...thank you again...
Thanks so much! Great practical advice.
She’s right we automatically think they’re intentions are bad most of the time. Have the difficult conversation, get clarity.For me I have to wait and be patient. Even if their intentions are bad, I can assume good intent and let it go. She’s right ,I’m so annoyed I texted my Mechanic twice with no response it’s been almost a week. I don’t know what’s going on ,but I decided to let it go and find another mechanic don’t fight with the dude just let it go. That’s not the first time he has flaked on me I just genuinely hope he’s OK. LET IT GO! I’m not going to send him any nasty text messages etc. these are difficult times
Really great video! Very relevant for 2020
thanks Ms. Robbins. very useful. it was my first video in this morning. 7 am start with you
Instead of assuming “mal” intent, assume “mel” intent. You’re welcome.
Mam I am impressed the way Ur expression and speaking analysis of the words and phrases
Yes, be non judgemental !
This is amazing info, like it may seem simple, but this info goes such a looping way. Thank you for this beautiful insight.
Really, really enjoyed this .... very useful info to take away and put into practice.
Thanks. Great I will practice today!
I LOVE IT!!!!! im trying this right away!!!! Mel I love you so so much!!! i can feel your Energy so vividly!!!
This is great Mel, thank you.
So true... why torture yourself re assuming something.
This is my blue chip. Love it!
Thank you Mel!🤗
This was a great reminder. It put me in mind of something Stephen Covey also said. Thank you!
Great advice! I try to live my life like this but I definitely assume I've done something wrong many times... Thank you cute sharing your wisdom!!
Loving these videos, so helpful! Thank you!
I need to work on this. Good information thank you.
OMG - just realized that I always assume the worst intent! 54321 changing it!
Thank You Mel Mam! You provide us with this little hacks that make our understanding more deep around our inside world thus making us a better person
Appreciated Mam
Thank you so much for sharing this ❤️
Great points! Will do!
❤🌻
Definitely challenging, but super empowering. I think Tony Robbins put it this way, ask yourself, what else could this (action) mean? Really awesome share, Mel. Thank you.
I totally agree! Sometimes your words are like golden apples and sometimes they're like Texas stickers! You just gotta know when to fold.
I've done this it's called being naive.
Hey Ms. Mel
You don’t know me but i’m a huge fan of you as person your short videos and of course your books
I’m almost done with stop say you’er fine and i already have the five seconds rule
So I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH
Always give people the benefit of the doubt. :) Yes!
From New Zealand - I've probably become annoying by trying to contact "friends" more than three times and no response, all you want is to say hi there, how ya doing. So I've let them go, but usually with a "can't be bothered speaking to a brick wall" response, I like the "cricket" equation. I'll next time assume good intent, even if nothing comes of it.
I think the difficult task, for me, is to remember to do the 5,4,3,2,1. It's about me retraining my brain in these stressful times to think of the 5 second rule. Once I've done it a few times I'm sure it will become second nature.
POWERFUL !
I agree with everything you presented. However you're too kind, I only give my dates one chance. Maybe twice if I really like them and feel they are honestly busy. We are worth it!
THANK YOU.
Great idea
Love this
SHOCKINGLY DANGEROUS ADVICE.
At certain point it looks like ignoring reality
Thank You
This is the worst idea because most people don’t
Love this ❤️
It sounds like a different issue than you're mentioning. Like they're projecting their mistakes on you and you're accepting it
Agree, good! thank you:)
Beautiful, hermoso, Bravo 🥇
Lol awesome! So true!
I always relate to your videos....you are me with blonde hair! LoL
this was very tough mel. I found that almost every time I thought others intent is not good for me and I keep punishing/torturing my self :(
I dont know why others also think I just assume good intentions
Hmm. I was faced today with a customer who was pissed that we didn't sell the product he wanted, and he said because we didn't sell said product that he wanted that I WASN'T DOING MY JOB PROPERLY. He showed me his identification (like that mattered), and said his name. I just stared him straight in the face and said: "I don't care.' Because I didn't. It's not MY FAULT that some asshat is pissed they can't buy what they want from me. NOT my responsibility, not my concern. I NEVER assume the best about people. I just don t give a fuck about them anyway.
Love you thank you ❤️🙏❤️
how do i manage it not beeing naive and becoming a pushover ?
Why I have been having so many issues lately.
Great thinking. I am working on it. My car dealer annoys me for not answering my request of changing my contract, getting even a second car and maybe a third one too (car offer for my sister). I am beyond the point of not being annoying myself, mails and calls. There is not much choice in the vicinity. It is difficult for me being calm, my only choice, as it seems now, is to walk away and get a car dealer further away - what I dont like because of the distance. Any suggestion guys? Thanks a lot to Mel and her videos.
joar Nothing beats a personal appearance... show up at the dealership. Just keep things clear and civil.