@Braxton Mills By making sure you get those needs met by people who can and want to give you back what you are giving. Once you get your needs met through people who can and WANT to give that back to you, it will be so much easier to be okay with people who don't give you back what you want. I learned that from hard experience but it was the best lesson ever. Focus on the people who want to give as much to you as you to them.
@@Wenzes I have been attempting to become proficient in lucid dreaming for over 20 years. I suck big time. If you can help with this, well, there is little I wouldn't do for you!
I wish to improve my confidence in finding a relationship that is fulfilling. (Mabye this is too personal from me sorry but i'd love to hear your thoughts on wheather i should make the decision or not) I really cant describe in to much detail, but i believe my relationship is solid and i care for my current partner, however i dont feel love, being young in my 20's i feel as you described as an infj that i gave alot at first without realizing in my naivete. However after 3 years together though i value my partner and put effort into giving as much as i can for them, i have lacked massivley in my daily life actualization confidence. Therefore i think like you decribed i am not, "giving what i should while providing for myself, but giving more than i should and not provding for myself". So my real queestion to sum up my babble im typing 😅, is knowing i cant recieve enough in certain ways from my current partner and though caring deeply for them, i concluded the choice that i should break up with them. However i feel i would regret this though i know it must be done. And my regret is as i know a projection of empathy for the pain i will inflict and less of the natural hurt i will feel but the progress i could make towards someone new who provides that 50/50 or value/value relationship? (Sorry this is alot thankyou for reading ^_^)
this is scarily accurate. The process of changing is very uncomfortable and it's often tempting to fall back into patterns of turning into whatever other people want us to be, yet daring to be ourselves is so rewarding.
I took notes while listening to and watching this, and identifying with it big time. For me, the following stood out: (1) When you talked about the need to be willing to be alone if necessary, while seeking out truly supportive people. (2) When you stated that what a person "sees" in us shows more about that person than it does about us. (3) When you described confidence building as a continuing process. Yes! I now see it as an adventure. Near the end, when you said , "Allow yourself to grow and stop judging yourself," I just sat there for a while and let it sink in. Excellent video.
The problem with me is that I know that I have the greatest potential but fail to fulfill it, when you know YOU could be much better makes it really difficult to accept and be confident with yourself because you feel like you have already stolen from yourself. How can I be happy with myself when I know it's not ME as a whole. I am working on it though, I am not as desperate as I sound here, thank you for the content you offer, it is truly valuable.
I can completely relate to not being confident about the kind of friend you are or how kind. For a long time I had people around me that would play on my lack of knowing myself, and I'd bend over backwards to appease them. I also doubted myself many times and would people please because I felt I needed to prove I was a kind person. Now, after a lot of self work, I've become confident in who I am as a friend, partner, and individual. I don't seek to people please, I allow myself to be genuine and let that speak for itself. I realize boundaries don't mean I'm a unkind person. I'm not confident in all aspects of my life but I don't doubt my intentions when it comes to others. Those old unhealthy connections fell away when i discovered this and I count that amongst my many blessing. Thank you for great advice and a great channel for INFJs ❤
So much of what you said in here speaks of my past self! I hv had so much trouble forgiving myself for putting myself in these compromising situations and downplaying myself! It was a relief to hear someone else has done the same. I understand how Fe can override Ni when we INFJs dont understand ourselves. Today im grateful to be able to be "selfish" --as my manipulative mother taught me--and to be able to take the responsibility for creating the life i want!🙏❤
Amazing how far you have come. I have been watching your videos for a few years now and watching your progress has really convinced me that it's possible! You are so inspirational!
Aww😂 Wenz.. This one is amazing!! I promise I feel the most deepest love, appreciation right now listening to this video whilst decorating🙏🏽☺️ Thank you!
Your voice is so soothing Wenzes! It makes me calm myself down and stop the Overthinking loop that I fall prey to! Watched a lot of INFJ self-improvement videos and I have to say, you are THE real INFJ coach!
Wenzes, here is a quote that I love for years from Mother Theresa "People are like stainglass windows they sparkle & shine when the sun shines but the true beauty is when the Light shines from within.💫🌈🙏
Wenzes you’re doing magnificent work. Thank you for sharing your words and insights. It’s been a tremendous help. These are things not taught in school. Academics are important but the nature and understanding of the soul is far more valuable. And that’s what i have gotten from you. I too one day want to shake the world in a gentle way and help others the way you’ve helped me.
I like your videos so much. As an intp after watching your videos emotions and relationships become so clear that out of nowhere I suprise people when I explain the situation to them. When usually I'm not usually care or pay attention to stuff like this. :) Love how you make it so logical. It's like king fu. Edit: Maybe the root of self-confidence is self-actualization?
Glad the videos resonate with you 😊 I would say the more self confident you become, as in you understand, that no matter what you do, even if you don‘t do anything you are worthy...once this sinks in...we go for self actualization because it‘s a human wish and need and we are not afraid anymore of rejection. We know it‘s not going to make us more worthy, just more fulfilled 😉
YES! I love that last thought of yours! At the root of self-confidence lies self-actualization... what might that really mean? Actualizing means making something ideal material. It means LIVING BY YOUR VALUES. Which from my point of view might be a gateway out of the self-deprecation and ensuing problems many in this crowd here seem to deal with. According to my own INFJ-A (a lot of A... ) experience, it's literally that simple: identify your values and live by them everyday as much as you possibly can. By definition, you are then being a good person and can stop worrying about it.
Thanks Wensez, really needed to hear this today. It reinforced what I already knew i needed to do about my current situation with terrible relationships that iam in as an infj, but this amazing message worked as an additional boost.
the cold cruewlity of self bitten truth to accept and embrace the series of sadness in some parts of the soul that linger there for change pace for ever growing truth embrace to i change lies at my pace. the cold embrace i race for hearts change pace
Eventually, we realize self martyrdom isn't beneficial to us or others. Boundaries are essential to happiness. And we'll feel great being purely authentic, no longer working to gain love and approval.
Can you do a video on setting proper boundaries. my boundaries have been intensely violated my whole childhood and now that I am an adult I am struggling to keep healthy boundaries
The more you build your self confidence on showing up authentically, the less likely you are to get into codependent relationships where you automatically have to give up a degree of self in order to make that relationship work. Focus on creating a life that is more and more in line with your vision, make that your priority and you will see how the codependency level of all your relationships will get lower.
I would love to be a speaker for you and do some life coaching. I have alot of extra background knowledge on all these key points you talk about yet having some pychology today facts and some medical facts might add some valuable information to the overall conversation you are aiming to have over your youtube video(s)
It's not just tips...It's a 6 week transformational bootcamp and I know it's not for everyone! :) Maybe you feel differently when you have read the testimonials after the first one. Some people want the 1-on-1 experience and want to invest in themselves on this level, others choose the group coaching (bootcamp) experience, others want to start smaller with the Masterclass. For you maybe the Masterclass wenzes.thinkific.com/collections would be an option and you have all the free youtube material as well! There is something for everyone. P.S.: By the way: until Saturday there is also a payment plan option for the Bootcamp if you don't want to invest it all at once!
I got to be truthful. I am naughty to some women I do not find attractive. there are plenty of left over women for other men in dating pool, you show some cool respect on character in video. it is up to these men to allure them. while there ahead on such "game" but its not game to us
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
What aspect do you want to improve your confidence in? What is something you struggle with?
lucid dreaming
Tell me more? What about lucid dreaming. Do you struggle with it? What do you want to be more confident in? I could answer it in Friday‘s Q&A.
@Braxton Mills By making sure you get those needs met by people who can and want to give you back what you are giving. Once you get your needs met through people who can and WANT to give that back to you, it will be so much easier to be okay with people who don't give you back what you want. I learned that from hard experience but it was the best lesson ever. Focus on the people who want to give as much to you as you to them.
@@Wenzes I have been attempting to become proficient in lucid dreaming for over 20 years. I suck big time. If you can help with this, well, there is little I wouldn't do for you!
I wish to improve my confidence in finding a relationship that is fulfilling.
(Mabye this is too personal from me sorry but i'd love to hear your thoughts on wheather i should make the decision or not)
I really cant describe in to much detail, but i believe my relationship is solid and i care for my current partner, however i dont feel love, being young in my 20's i feel as you described as an infj that i gave alot at first without realizing in my naivete. However after 3 years together though i value my partner and put effort into giving as much as i can for them, i have lacked massivley in my daily life actualization confidence. Therefore i think like you decribed i am not, "giving what i should while providing for myself, but giving more than i should and not provding for myself". So my real queestion to sum up my babble im typing 😅, is knowing i cant recieve enough in certain ways from my current partner and though caring deeply for them, i concluded the choice that i should break up with them. However i feel i would regret this though i know it must be done. And my regret is as i know a projection of empathy for the pain i will inflict and less of the natural hurt i will feel but the progress i could make towards someone new who provides that 50/50 or value/value relationship?
(Sorry this is alot thankyou for reading ^_^)
this is scarily accurate. The process of changing is very uncomfortable and it's often tempting to fall back into patterns of turning into whatever other people want us to be, yet daring to be ourselves is so rewarding.
I took notes while listening to and watching this, and identifying with it big time. For me, the following stood out:
(1) When you talked about the need to be willing to be alone if necessary, while seeking out truly supportive people.
(2) When you stated that what a person "sees" in us shows more about that person than it does about us.
(3) When you described confidence building as a continuing process. Yes! I now see it as an adventure.
Near the end, when you said , "Allow yourself to grow and stop judging yourself," I just sat there for a while and let it sink in.
Excellent video.
Thanks Linda 👍😊 happy it resonated with you 😊 and you let it sink in
The problem with me is that I know that I have the greatest potential but fail to fulfill it, when you know YOU could be much better makes it really difficult to accept and be confident with yourself because you feel like you have already stolen from yourself. How can I be happy with myself when I know it's not ME as a whole. I am working on it though, I am not as desperate as I sound here, thank you for the content you offer, it is truly valuable.
You have such great insight. When watching your videos, I find myself saying "That makes so much sense now that she laid it out like that!"
I can completely relate to not being confident about the kind of friend you are or how kind. For a long time I had people around me that would play on my lack of knowing myself, and I'd bend over backwards to appease them. I also doubted myself many times and would people please because I felt I needed to prove I was a kind person. Now, after a lot of self work, I've become confident in who I am as a friend, partner, and individual. I don't seek to people please, I allow myself to be genuine and let that speak for itself. I realize boundaries don't mean I'm a unkind person. I'm not confident in all aspects of my life but I don't doubt my intentions when it comes to others. Those old unhealthy connections fell away when i discovered this and I count that amongst my many blessing. Thank you for great advice and a great channel for INFJs ❤
Be authentic or be by yourself but never fake!!
So much of what you said in here speaks of my past self! I hv had so much trouble forgiving myself for putting myself in these compromising situations and downplaying myself! It was a relief to hear someone else has done the same. I understand how Fe can override Ni when we INFJs dont understand ourselves. Today im grateful to be able to be "selfish" --as my manipulative mother taught me--and to be able to take the responsibility for creating the life i want!🙏❤
Amazing how far you have come. I have been watching your videos for a few years now and watching your progress has really convinced me that it's possible! You are so inspirational!
So happy to read that! If I can do it so can you 👍👍👍 don‘t give up 😀
Aww😂 Wenz.. This one is amazing!! I promise I feel the most deepest love, appreciation right now listening to this video whilst decorating🙏🏽☺️ Thank you!
You are so welcome
*Love the examples you told.* That confidence can protect as. It just takes time and right steps to develop our personality/identity.
😊👍
Your voice is so soothing Wenzes! It makes me calm myself down and stop the Overthinking loop that I fall prey to!
Watched a lot of INFJ self-improvement videos and I have to say, you are THE real INFJ coach!
❤️❤️❤️ glad the videos resonate with you so much ☺️
This is the best video I've ever watched on RUclips. Thank you.
Wenzes, here is a quote that I love for years from Mother Theresa "People are like stainglass windows they sparkle & shine when the sun shines but the true beauty is when the Light shines from within.💫🌈🙏
Wenzes you’re doing magnificent work. Thank you for sharing your words and insights. It’s been a tremendous help. These are things not taught in school. Academics are important but the nature and understanding of the soul is far more valuable. And that’s what i have gotten from you. I too one day want to shake the world in a gentle way and help others the way you’ve helped me.
people have been looking forward to this without knowing. I owe you much thanks
I'm 100% Infj. I'm knowing myself just watching your vlogs.
Wow!!!!! This is my new favourite channel! Thank you so much!
This channel definitely brings a fresh sense to a newly realized INFJ ❤
I like your videos so much. As an intp after watching your videos emotions and relationships become so clear that out of nowhere I suprise people when I explain the situation to them. When usually I'm not usually care or pay attention to stuff like this. :) Love how you make it so logical. It's like king fu.
Edit: Maybe the root of self-confidence is self-actualization?
Glad the videos resonate with you 😊 I would say the more self confident you become, as in you understand, that no matter what you do, even if you don‘t do anything you are worthy...once this sinks in...we go for self actualization because it‘s a human wish and need and we are not afraid anymore of rejection. We know it‘s not going to make us more worthy, just more fulfilled 😉
YES! I love that last thought of yours! At the root of self-confidence lies self-actualization... what might that really mean? Actualizing means making something ideal material. It means LIVING BY YOUR VALUES. Which from my point of view might be a gateway out of the self-deprecation and ensuing problems many in this crowd here seem to deal with. According to my own INFJ-A (a lot of A... ) experience, it's literally that simple: identify your values and live by them everyday as much as you possibly can. By definition, you are then being a good person and can stop worrying about it.
Thanks Wensez, really needed to hear this today. It reinforced what I already knew i needed to do about my current situation with terrible relationships that iam in as an infj, but this amazing message worked as an additional boost.
Glad it was helpful 😊👍
This was the best video I have seen of yours so far.
I took a break from social media, and missed your videos. Great content as always!❤️
the cold cruewlity of self bitten truth to accept and embrace the series of sadness in some parts of the soul that linger there for change pace for ever growing truth embrace to i change lies at my pace. the cold embrace i race for hearts change pace
Great video! Technically and with information. Resonates greatly!
Also would love to hear on your take on mirror neurons.
Happy it was helpful!!!
This is an excellent video. Thank you!
Do wish I had your confidence.
I will be a judge of myself when the time comes for unexpected judgement. that will be in tears but in good way
Eventually, we realize self martyrdom isn't beneficial to us or others. Boundaries are essential to happiness. And we'll feel great being purely authentic, no longer working to gain love and approval.
Perfect. You totally described me
This was great. Thank you!
OMG, thank you.
Can you do a video on setting proper boundaries. my boundaries have been intensely violated my whole childhood and now that I am an adult I am struggling to keep healthy boundaries
Thank you
Im wondering how to apply this with my codependency issue
The more you build your self confidence on showing up authentically, the less likely you are to get into codependent relationships where you automatically have to give up a degree of self in order to make that relationship work. Focus on creating a life that is more and more in line with your vision, make that your priority and you will see how the codependency level of all your relationships will get lower.
Wenzes thank you 🙏🏼 ❤️❤️❤️
Powerful perspective.
🎯💯 Smart Lady.
Thank you so much ☺️
This was amazing!
Glad it was helpful 👍😊👍 thanks for your feedback
I would love to be a speaker for you and do some life coaching. I have alot of extra background knowledge on all these key points you talk about yet having some pychology today facts and some medical facts might add some valuable information to the overall conversation you are aiming to have over your youtube video(s)
So why do I overwhelmed the ladies just for being myself?
It's like I got to tune it down a lot just to keep the girls stable.
What up Wenzes
...if you're looking. we know you are.
just because one man slams door is not because that one mans interest alone. women can not reconise that in todays world too well
you might become too cold for me. but I hope if it happens to still value your alternative point of view
🐧🐧
😊
IMO, you should have more views of your work. Why not? Because just as you counsel... people just don't want to do the work.
Hmmmm
I like u but $600 for the bootcamp is a lot : (
It's not just tips...It's a 6 week transformational bootcamp and I know it's not for everyone! :) Maybe you feel differently when you have read the testimonials after the first one.
Some people want the 1-on-1 experience and want to invest in themselves on this level, others choose the group coaching (bootcamp) experience, others want to start smaller with the Masterclass.
For you maybe the Masterclass wenzes.thinkific.com/collections
would be an option and you have all the free youtube material as well! There is something for everyone.
P.S.: By the way: until Saturday there is also a payment plan option for the Bootcamp if you don't want to invest it all at once!
I got to be truthful. I am naughty to some women I do not find attractive. there are plenty of left over women for other men in dating pool, you show some cool respect on character in video. it is up to these men to allure them. while there ahead on such "game" but its not game to us
this was an amazing video! thank you!