Really interesting video. I had a revelation a couple of years ago and realised that when I've ended relationships, it's because I feel emotionally unsafe (even subtly). Even though my mind can logically tell me that all is fine with the person, my body goes into a hypervigilant anxiety type of state that only goes away when I exit the relationship. I have really judged and berated myself for leaving these people, but seeing things through the lens of safety has helped soften that.
Your video and well thought out insight helped quite a lot! I have ADHD and RSD and I constantly think 10000 steps ahead and worry a ton. I was already going quite deep with my therapy but your framing of safety as the base foundation is extremely helpful, because it gives a new perspective on everything. I speculate that the result of this is/could be the calmness of the nervous system (as a result of safety), making it THE goal. Would make sense when considering that all types of keeping energy is our primal rule. Hope that makes sense^^
hey, i also have adhd & i have also been making it my goal for a long time, that's why i just wanted to warn you - relaxation can be disregulating when you have adhd! the best way i have found so far is to 1. remember to step into a state where time does not exist, go deeper so to say & to follow your intuition in what you really want to be doing. because yes we might be distracted but under that distraction often lies the key to finding out what you need in that moment. how is it for you, what makes you feel safe? i have been really liking to journal with my emotions & making lear that they are welcome but not needed. how do you do it?
@@bellaviv6280 Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I totally agree with you that the Flow state (even with distractions) is the state truly grow and get further. Today I gave a class at University and felt exactly that: time didn't exist and everything was deeply aligned with my intution. And to answer your question: I journal, make music, go for long walks, talk and meet my friends and just wake up with the question: "What adventure is it going to be today" Ever since I do that, everything has changed for the better. It's not one big thing but many small ones that help to heal, learn, and grow. Hope that helps! =D
Thanks so muchh for this amazing video😂😂 I remember a French trauma specialist than said that if the child is intelligent he or she will recreate in later life the opposite of what she/he saw in an unsafe familiar environment! My parents argue a lot but I see their behavour now as an impulsive children behavour! They argue and two minuts later they are good again! So I felt quite safe because I knew that they always ended up well!
Thank you Connie. Very interesting. This has never occurred to me before. I read a book about the vagus nerve which was eye opening. Ill delve deeper into this book as well. I have appreciated your meaningful content for years. 👏🙂
Your journey through your insights and your evolution of ideas from wanting to hustle in business to travel vlogging and breathing techniques to safety awareness are all fun and interesting. I know I've missed mentioning many of the paths you've explored but my point is that I have so enjoyed you taking me along your journey. Try Dr. Doug Lisle and Dr. Jen Howk insights on evolutionary psychology. I think you might enjoy it but just a warning... very different to our much loved Gabor Mate. So cool to see your ideas evolve. Life is just interesting!
Didn't watch the complete video, and don't want to judge you. And maybe I get your Videos wrong. But what comes to my mind while watching is: again the same mistake which I felt already in the past a couple of times (since I follow you). It feels like you pick one topic or thing and say like "Now I found out about what is most important in live" or "This is the thing to focus on". From my pov there is never the one important thing for one person and certainly not one thing for everyone. Live is as diverse as people are, you are as diverse as live is. So everything is related to the persons history, surrounding and personality. And the combination of all could give just a very individual hint just to that person what to look at. And this can change every second.
i can see your point and i actually think we're on the same page, because i fully agree - there definitely is no one thing for everyone. it's impossible. and i talk about this regularly on my socials (esp instagram). i would never suggest one thing. this video is not about one approach, but a way to understand ourselves. the concept of safety is basic neuroscience. have you watched the video on my trauma healing journey? i think it would be worthwhile to watch in case you're truly interested to understand how i view the world and my thoughts behind my content. However, thanks for your comment, it’s helpful because I definitely don’t want to come across the way you describe.
@@ConniBiesalski thank you for answering. I just was looking for your trauma healing video. If I am right it’s the one before this. To be honest, I don’t want to watch it. Reading „guide to …“ or „how you…“ in the title let me keep distance. It creates exactly the same mood as I wrote in my initial comment about.
I dont intend to be negative but another one of those missing piece that changed my life video then after 11 months, another this one thing changed my life video. It comes to me as inauthentic. Just my point of view.
I hear you and maybe my title choice wasn’t the most considerate in that regard if it comes across that way. And, since initiated into my healing journey in 2012, I can truthfully say that this was the missing piece for me and I see it in many of my clients as well.
Thank you so much Connie for sharing your knowledge. Very helpful!
Wow! This might be the best condensed, user friendly explanation of the nervous system I have heard so far! Thank you!
awesome, happy to hear :)
My therapist has said I'm not used to calmness and I believe I've not truly understood that until this video, so thank you for the information!
Glad it helped!
Wonderfully structured and presented - great to see this on the feed today! She’s back!
thanks jordan :))
Live it! Life changing! ❤💯🙌
Hey Conni! Your video randomly popped up on my homepage and it made me happy. Beautiful work
Really interesting video. I had a revelation a couple of years ago and realised that when I've ended relationships, it's because I feel emotionally unsafe (even subtly). Even though my mind can logically tell me that all is fine with the person, my body goes into a hypervigilant anxiety type of state that only goes away when I exit the relationship. I have really judged and berated myself for leaving these people, but seeing things through the lens of safety has helped soften that.
Your video and well thought out insight helped quite a lot! I have ADHD and RSD and I constantly think 10000 steps ahead and worry a ton. I was already going quite deep with my therapy but your framing of safety as the base foundation is extremely helpful, because it gives a new perspective on everything. I speculate that the result of this is/could be the calmness of the nervous system (as a result of safety), making it THE goal. Would make sense when considering that all types of keeping energy is our primal rule. Hope that makes sense^^
Question remains, what are the triggers and why it triggers, so that balance and peace are not the default.
hey, i also have adhd & i have also been making it my goal for a long time, that's why i just wanted to warn you - relaxation can be disregulating when you have adhd! the best way i have found so far is to 1. remember to step into a state where time does not exist, go deeper so to say & to follow your intuition in what you really want to be doing. because yes we might be distracted but under that distraction often lies the key to finding out what you need in that moment. how is it for you, what makes you feel safe? i have been really liking to journal with my emotions & making lear that they are welcome but not needed. how do you do it?
@@bellaviv6280 Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I totally agree with you that the Flow state (even with distractions) is the state truly grow and get further. Today I gave a class at University and felt exactly that: time didn't exist and everything was deeply aligned with my intution. And to answer your question: I journal, make music, go for long walks, talk and meet my friends and just wake up with the question: "What adventure is it going to be today" Ever since I do that, everything has changed for the better. It's not one big thing but many small ones that help to heal, learn, and grow. Hope that helps! =D
Appreciate you and your video, Conni!
and i appreciate you too :))
Thanks so muchh for this amazing video😂😂 I remember a French trauma specialist than said that if the child is intelligent he or she will recreate in later life the opposite of what she/he saw in an unsafe familiar environment! My parents argue a lot but I see their behavour now as an impulsive children behavour! They argue and two minuts later they are good again! So I felt quite safe because I knew that they always ended up well!
In the first minute when you described the feeling.......I kept saying out loud Safety....Safety....Safety. 🙂
Thank you for this awesome video!
Survival
I passed through 5 low back surgeries , and I am in pain 24/7 and is very hopeless for me .
I don't want to live like this
I cannot feel joy , or gratitude , I think I do not love me
This is a brilliant video - great insight, thank you so much for sharing. I've subscribed and I'm excited to learn more from you.
Amazing video🧚🏼♀️
Thank you Connie. Very interesting. This has never occurred to me before. I read a book about the vagus nerve which was eye opening. Ill delve deeper into this book as well. I have appreciated your meaningful content for years. 👏🙂
so glad to hear the video resonated with you :) thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, i appreciate you! 💛
Your journey through your insights and your evolution of ideas from wanting to hustle in business to travel vlogging and breathing techniques to safety awareness are all fun and interesting. I know I've missed mentioning many of the paths you've explored but my point is that I have so enjoyed you taking me along your journey. Try Dr. Doug Lisle and Dr. Jen Howk insights on evolutionary psychology. I think you might enjoy it but just a warning... very different to our much loved Gabor Mate. So cool to see your ideas evolve. Life is just interesting!
Survival should be the word
good wirken
Didn't watch the complete video, and don't want to judge you. And maybe I get your Videos wrong.
But what comes to my mind while watching is: again the same mistake which I felt already in the past a couple of times (since I follow you). It feels like you pick one topic or thing and say like "Now I found out about what is most important in live" or "This is the thing to focus on". From my pov there is never the one important thing for one person and certainly not one thing for everyone. Live is as diverse as people are, you are as diverse as live is. So everything is related to the persons history, surrounding and personality. And the combination of all could give just a very individual hint just to that person what to look at. And this can change every second.
i can see your point and i actually think we're on the same page, because i fully agree - there definitely is no one thing for everyone. it's impossible. and i talk about this regularly on my socials (esp instagram). i would never suggest one thing. this video is not about one approach, but a way to understand ourselves. the concept of safety is basic neuroscience. have you watched the video on my trauma healing journey? i think it would be worthwhile to watch in case you're truly interested to understand how i view the world and my thoughts behind my content.
However, thanks for your comment, it’s helpful because I definitely don’t want to come across the way you describe.
@@ConniBiesalski thank you for answering. I just was looking for your trauma healing video. If I am right it’s the one before this. To be honest, I don’t want to watch it. Reading „guide to …“ or „how you…“ in the title let me keep distance. It creates exactly the same mood as I wrote in my initial comment about.
I dont intend to be negative but another one of those missing piece that changed my life video then after 11 months, another this one thing changed my life video. It comes to me as inauthentic. Just my point of view.
I hear you and maybe my title choice wasn’t the most considerate in that regard if it comes across that way. And, since initiated into my healing journey in 2012, I can truthfully say that this was the missing piece for me and I see it in many of my clients as well.