Chinese here. I can't *fucking* get over the name of the brand. The Chinese brand of Powkitty, "霸王小子", is a blatant ripoff of "小霸王", another brand that gained infamy by making (surprisingly high quality) bootleg Nintendo FC back in the days. Now these guys are making a bootleg Switch-lookalike. It's a bootleg of a bootleg of a bootleg of a bootleg. With such legendary bootlegry going on I can't really blame all the made-in-China jokes out there.... (And yes all the file names were the original game titles translated into Chinese then machine-translated literally back into English)
I took one little look at it and it looked EXTREMELY similar but then I realised the controllers looked stretched, the controls look different and it has “PowKiddy” on it too.
He's in a studio now. If he was smart he would have cut off 90% of the couch and put it on a table so he could sit in a chair or stand instead of kneel on the floor.
Still don't get Joystick drift complainers... this stuff is WAY more common with Xbox controllers and the one Joycon I've had with drift was fixed by me smashing the joystick in and spinning it around.
I love that Ashen's format has changed very little in nearly ten years but it still remains a quality watch simply due to his demeanor and humour. It's so easy to go back on his content with nothing being jarring beyond the subtle camera quality upgrades. 10/10 may the ugly brown couch never die
@@alanharrison2726 The Switch's analog drift happens over time even when the console/controllers are stored properly. That's why Nintendo gave out free replacements. It's not a result of mishandling.
Ah! My hunch was right. They must be using something like google translate and not have someone to double check the translation. I’m glad you posted this cause the only part I could figure out was “ma”
Been watching these videos since I was 10 years old and I’m about to be 22 in January. this content never gets old, thanks for all the years of laughs Ashens!
When you don't take the warnings seriously and drive within 500 meters of a power plant and then accidentally hit the main engine seriously causing your powkiddy x2 to detonate killing everyone in a 6 mile radius.
Yeah definitely, but in theory; 512mb or more isn't that hard to come by in low end devices. You could easily get a 512mb or 1gb tablet for around £20. There are tons of "fake hand held consoles" that use a custom firmware of android. If it just shipped with native android and a little bit more ram I think they'd do better.
@@TheHutchy01 holy shit just let the guy fucking rest already. He was tortured enough while alive. There's no evidence he touched children in any inappropriate way you dick.
@@MerkhVision Straight up. The disgusting, parasitic media couldn't stop repeating how he "regularly had children in his bedroom". In his bedroom, in his bedroom. His "bedroom" was literally the size of an entire house. It sounds a lot less threatening when one pulls their head from their ass, and actually looks at the reality of the situation. The fact that Corey Feldman backed him speaks to his innocence, considering he was the loudest voice against Pedowood. He was a damaged soul, but it doesn't appear he was a predator.
@@Albert_7 well, not all gacha people are gachatards. Only the people that make heat. I'd suggest checking out RosyClozy and then apologize for ranting about the community. Sorry ik it sounds toxic, but I used to hate gachas too. I checked the community out and I found some real gems for an anime game.
2:02 I love it when Ashens reads broken English instructions. Can someone hire him to read a novel composed entirely of broken English? I would buy that in a heartbeat.
Its been years since I last watched ashens and it's so great to see that he's still reviewing tat on his sofa. I think I've missed listening to him without realising it
@Chill Toad you have been bamboozled by a currently-popular internet reference known as a meme (thanks for the info btw, I've been watching his vids for awhile but not often enough to know stuff like that)
the same with "alloy equipment"... it's just what we are used to... many things could have the most ridiculous names from our "now"-perspective, but if they were called that the whole time we wouldn't even think about it
@@chrisakaschulbus4903 As someone that didn't grow with Metal Gear Solid I can confirm it will never not sound weird to me. Also there some words that have grown up so much one me that I no long can see the translations as better sadly.
Mario is translated literally into three words, Ma(馬) Ri（力）O（歐). Individually however, the words 馬力mean horsepower while the word 歐means euro, hence the shitty translation for super horsepower euro.
I smell someone ordered a hundreds cores Xeon processor 😎 p.s. I bought myself recently 14th cores chip, it works, quite a work to turboboost it, but cheaper than latest core i5 10th gen. But I've used a good motherboard Asrock, not chinese Hungnan.
When you read out Alloy Gear Equipment, they’ve obviously used a thesaurus and I was laughing but then it suddenly hit me “Metal Gear Solid” is no less ridiculous, literally three random words chucked together lol
Not quite. Japan and China share most of the same character based writing system. Since most Japanese Kanji are identical to Chinese Tanji, although some of the meanings are different. So what most likely happened is they looked up each game's name manually, took the direct translation of the Kanji to Chinese, then directly translated it to English. Since the Chinese characters phonetically are "Maliou," which is written these symbols: 马力欧. Which individually translate directly to "high horse power." So same thing probably happened to Metal Gear Solid. Just that the Kanji/Tanji dependencies in meaning are a lot more minor in that case.
It's very interesting how the buttons are named, with A being the bottom and X being the top, so it doesn't follow Nintendo or even Xbox layout standards, for maximum annoyance.
@@user-pi5xz5je4y That's what he's saying. On Dreamcast/Xbox the Y button is on the top with the A button on the bottom. On Nintendo consoles the X is on the top with the B button on the bottom. This matches neither scheme.
16:23 I think why it's called "Super Horsepower Euro" is because of a Chinese translation: 超級瑪莉歐 should be the official translation, but a homonym is 超級.馬力.歐 in Mandarin, and the words in order means: Super, horsepower, and Europe. My theory is the names are all in Chinese, and they pumped them through a translation service. Because if all the names are directly translated back to Chinese, they all make sense.
@@haaxxx9 Y'know, that's genuinely great, they ain't hurting anybody so they can do whatever. Still doesn't change the fact that the name is extremely questionable lol
For a brief moment, Ashens’ reflection in the device was overlain by my reflection in my phone, and I was given a vision of the nameless horrors that dwell outside our plane. 10/10, would recommend.
I always do that after playing Xbox or Playstation and going to the switch and such, and I feel like a tool for about ten minutes till I readjust to it.
I think the reason is that the buttons are actually in the normal layout, but when it emulates a nintendo console, the labels are wrong, so the button that is labeled "a" is actually "b", and so on... which is ironic, because it's supposed to be a switch...
To be fair, the “A” button is firstly in the wrong place, and secondly switches mapping to the “B” button every time emulation starts. The button labeled “A” is “A” in the system menu, but the button labeled “B” is “A” during any game.
The "channel" is. Not the video being set as "ashen" RUclips has a thing where they have auto generated "channels" that """posts""" videos from other users... Basicly the idea is you can "subscribe" to, say, the minecraft channel and RUclips will start putting videos in your subscriptuon feed that are tagged as minecraft.
@@ladytaz6137 it's called unskilled, but as an employee of a big name parcel courier, i can say it's not all that unskilled, and i know that amazon require their employees to have previous experience working in the industry, and that their employees give less of a shit about your parcels than the company i work for, which is renowned for providing a "bad" service
To make it even dumber, the manual showed the Playstation X/O/Triangle/Square buttons. So the manual shows Playstation buttons, the device has Nintendo buttons, but they swapped A and B to match Xbox.
@@kalebgates7711 they both transmit force so instead of saying equipment which is the most general term ever substituting it for pulley makes much more sense
Me: can we get Nintendo Switch? Mom: We have Nintendo Switch at home! Nintendo switch at home: I know, I’m very original aren’t I, just like the Powkiddy gaming thing in the video.
A fucking explosions and fire reference under an ashens vid? That's new lol. But as long as it doesn't dissolve into a yellow liquid when put into benzene you should be good
"Hey Micheal, is that a Nintendo Switch?" "Uh.... yeah, I guess." "Cool! Whatcha playing?" "Mario Bros." "You mean Mario Odyssey?" "No... just Mario Bros." "Oh."
@@jamesg6660 "This might actually be funny if you couldn't play Mario Bros on the Switch." when the facts drop and you feel their impact through the written text :D but for real, if i were interested in a switch a bundle of emulators would be the first thing that i put on this thing... i heard n64 has pretty nice performance
@@chrisakaschulbus4903 Yeah, going off of Mario 3D All Stars, the Switch does N64 pretty good. I just wish that Nintendo would add an official N64 emulator alongside their NES and SNES ones already so I can have bluetooth N64 controllers lmao.
Sadly that's Powkiddy's thing, there emulation is at times fantastic but to make it a decent price, they cut down on quality. Which is a shame because they know what people want but can't make it, with Anbernic going to Mini PC's and Retroid being radio silent, they may not have competitors soon and that worries me
@@SudrianTales still, just $10 more investment on part of the manufacturer for cosmetic pieces of plastics would have made the difference between the sky and the floor in terms of the quality and responsiveness of the controls. I would not see people complaining for a $10 more price for this unit if it means that it is actually playable.
@@yafilmDOTcom Of course, all there fans would agree with you and like me cry wishing Powkiddy would just get their shit together on quality, we don't want great, we would love if it was good at this stage
Stuart seems to have a portal to hell in his room. Those jagged shards surrounding the light are fooling nobody. It either goes to Hell, or Long Stratton. I've been to one, and fancy the other only slightly less.
Alloy equipment Alloy equipment the 2nd: High-density serpent Alloy equipment high-density Alloy equipment high-density the 2nd: Male children of freedom Alloy equipment high-density Number 3: Serpent consumer Alloy equipment high density: nonviolent pacer Alloy equipment high-density digit 4: Firearms of those who strongly believe in the cultural values of their country of origin Alloy equipment high-density: floor null Alloy equipment high-density part 5: Invisible discomfort Alloy equipment ascending: of which to personally cause consequence for a wrongdoing a second time Alloy equipment strive to not become deceased Alloy equipment solvent Alloy equipment assignments of which are digital but seek to emulate that of which is non-digital Alloy equipment assignments of which can be easily transported Alloy equipment assignments of which can be easily transported positive Alloy equipment high-density number 3 ball-based gambling device
Yeah but the WLL had original games, making it actually kind of interesting. Every ripoff console nowadays doesn't even try to be unique. It's the same emulator stuff.
Me: Struggling through a bout of depression. Also me: Sees a new Ashens video has been uploaded. Also, also me: Immediately feels a little better. Thanks Stuart. Please never leave youtube or change in any way, shape or form. 👍
Isolated Warrior being called Lonely Soldiers reminds me of in JoJo when the english localization team has to slightly change names to fit copyright. (Like Bad Company to Worse Company and Limp Bizkit to Flaccid Pancake.)
Fck me, you just made me check how long I have been subbed for. I knew I have watched every video and he was fairly big when I found him, but 7 fcking years and i watch every upload the moment i see it up.
The second USB port is for data transfers. Instead of taking the SD card out all the time, you could connect the entire thing to a PC and drag and drop stuff right onto the card without needing to put in your PC. My old phone did this too.
It's funny how happy he was that the device was charged and then like right after that he's like "jump cut because the battery ran out on the camcorder"
This seems like it would actually be a legitimately good emulation system with how well it seems to run all the consoles that it claimed to be able to run. It's actually right for once that it can play PS1 games. What a shocker. If only it wasn't for the terrible controls. This would be a really solid emulator console.
Every single one of these emulator consoles are like this I swear. They have redeeming qualities and then 1 massive flaw makes them a piece of shit where they would otherwise be a solid gaming device.
@@barkingapollo Most of the ones I've seen, they are all around piles of garbage with terrible controls, awful emulation, trashy designs, unusable UIs. Usually everything is just bad. But for this, it runs really well and has a decent enough looking UI, but just... the controls. It would be really good if not for the lousy controls, which is a shame.
@@mxrcvrii you know, I wouldn't doubt it could run some sort of word processor ... good luck controlling it without an onscreen keyboard lol. Even if they have one, I could see them making it take up most of the screen making it very unpleasant to use.
I lost access to my old RUclips about a year ago and I remember you where my favorite to watch as I played minecraft!!! I was your 4000 something subscriber!!! God im glad I found you again I love you so much
Chinese here. I can't *fucking* get over the name of the brand. The Chinese brand of Powkitty, "霸王小子", is a blatant ripoff of "小霸王", another brand that gained infamy by making (surprisingly high quality) bootleg Nintendo FC back in the days. Now these guys are making a bootleg Switch-lookalike.
It's a bootleg of a bootleg of a bootleg of a bootleg.
With such legendary bootlegry going on I can't really blame all the made-in-China jokes out there.... (And yes all the file names were the original game titles translated into Chinese then
machine-translated literally back into English)
That's a very cool fact, thank you for sharing!
I love this
The geniuses in ShenZhen really needs to make something worth my money.
Thanks for the additional information. This was some good extra laughs. :]
The other company still exists and makes FC clones, I actually own one of theirs here in Poland
I don't know what's more impressive: the shitty controls or the fact that he remembers the inputs for the reptile fatality.
Same
I took one little look at it and it looked EXTREMELY similar but then I realised the controllers looked stretched, the controls look different and it has “PowKiddy” on it too.
@Nero Mauritzen That's scorpion, and it's block low punch low punch
Lmfaooo
Our generation is required by law to remember the inputs for reptile's fatality. If you don't, I'm afraid I'll have to inform authorities.
Ashens In 2006: Hey, check out this game console rip off
Ashens In 2020: Hey, check out this game console rip off
This is why I’m subbed
Before the dark times. . .
Before the Barry collabs.
I liked Barry!
@@betaman7988 Me too.
Lol
@@bradlauk1419 wtf you got against Barry!?
seeing his face in the reflection made me remember that he is in fact not just a disembodied voice with arms
I was quite disapointed he wasn't wearing a suit with a red tie. The illusion is ruined.
Kinda like your character in the first Bioshock.
He's in a studio now. If he was smart he would have cut off 90% of the couch and put it on a table so he could sit in a chair or stand instead of kneel on the floor.
@@illustriouschin I remember him showing in a video a couple years ago. I don't think it was propped up but it's definitely not the full sofa any more
I always imagined he looked like the Nostalgia Critic.
metal gear solid being translated as 'alloy equipment' cracked me up
“The key is a memory shape alloy”
shin megami tensei being translated was funny to me
SMALL ROBOTS, SON!
@@ccricers I read that in Otacons voice
Could you imagine Snake going "Alloy Equipment??"
Nintendo Switch: *The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild*
PowKiddy: *The Tale of Xelder: Inhale of Nature*
Lol
PowKiddy would be “Critter Intersection” instead of Animal Crossing
Wish: Exaltation of The Wilderness
Underrated comment
the legendary story of a guy named link:exhale carbon dioxide of the dangerous area of earth
I love how RUclips thinks Ashens is playing a game called Ashen.
you mean that's not a game about reviewing tat on a manky sofa?
lorl
I'll happily buy a game about reviewing tat on a broken down brown sofa.
@@theghostofthomasjenkins9643 see: the ashens indie game jam thing
Ashens sound like a Dark Souls knockoff
"it's stuck moving right" seems like they copied the design even to the finer details
💀💀
Lol
As a Switch owner, holy fuck lmfao.
I'm absolutely gone. Thank you for this!
For real, those joycons are awful, I just stick to the pro controller.
"I'm stuck going right!"
Sounds like an accurate Switch knockoff to me.
Ouch... Burn
This is so on point it hurts. 😅
ooof. lol.
Still don't get Joystick drift complainers...
this stuff is WAY more common with Xbox controllers and the one Joycon I've had with drift was fixed by me smashing the joystick in and spinning it around.
@@pickypath246 cool
I love that Ashen's format has changed very little in nearly ten years but it still remains a quality watch simply due to his demeanor and humour. It's so easy to go back on his content with nothing being jarring beyond the subtle camera quality upgrades.
10/10 may the ugly brown couch never die
Nearly ten years? You mean over 14 years. He started this before RUclips even existed. But otherwise yeah, I agree. I appreciate the consistency.
I like his content but maybe thats why ashens subscriber count has stagnated
MAGNIFICENT brown couch.
@Chill Toad yeah I understand what you mean but his content doesn't really get picked by the algorithm
The camera quality upgrades are both jarring and subtle? What?
Holy shit! You can have more themes on this than the actual switch.
"its stuck moving right" even the fake Switch has the joycon drift
Console see, console do.
Out of the box, though?
Not a glitch, a feature lmao
Drift only happens when console is placed screen down . So sticks get caught in a position . EVERY MAN WITH BRAINS KNOWS THIS .
@@alanharrison2726 The Switch's analog drift happens over time even when the console/controllers are stored properly. That's why Nintendo gave out free replacements. It's not a result of mishandling.
马力欧 is the phonetic spelling of "Mario" in Chinese (Maliou) but the characters do individually mean Horse Power Europe.
Amazing
Thank you, that makes sense now.
Like some anime transformation phrase. Genius.
Ah! My hunch was right. They must be using something like google translate and not have someone to double check the translation. I’m glad you posted this cause the only part I could figure out was “ma”
Everyone knows Mario uses Yoshi Power
Been watching these videos since I was 10 years old and I’m about to be 22 in January. this content never gets old, thanks for all the years of laughs Ashens!
That’s actually crazy
@@trollscream8607 been watching since the OG pop station reviews 😭
How does it feel to see him aging over the years?
Can you feel it or is it like with family?
@@JonatasAdoM for me if feels like when I used to climb the rope in gym class.
Been watching since I was 14, turning 21 tomorrow 😭
When you don't take the warnings seriously and drive within 500 meters of a power plant and then accidentally hit the main engine seriously causing your powkiddy x2 to detonate killing everyone in a 6 mile radius.
I do that all the time and it's annoying
@ChakramGuy no where near as much as me. I do it 5 times a day.
My sides hurt from laughing
Had you stayed on level 1, none of this would have happened.
Ugh I just hate it when I do that
Honestly, if they just put Android OS onto this device I can imagine it being sold a whole lot more than this custom firmware.
With 256MB RAM?… I doubt it would be usable, unless you put Gingerbread on it.
With a 1.3GHz CPU and 256MB RAM, this thing would struggle to run most forms of Android OS.
Yeah definitely, but in theory; 512mb or more isn't that hard to come by in low end devices. You could easily get a 512mb or 1gb tablet for around £20.
There are tons of "fake hand held consoles" that use a custom firmware of android. If it just shipped with native android and a little bit more ram I think they'd do better.
It already appears to run some kind of Linux-based OS.
It has a retroarch on it
Yep, you could download videos and songs in a easier way.
Also, running your favorite emulators(mine is happy chick, and Ppsspp few times)
I'm just sad there was no comment about Micheal Jackson's Moonwalker being renamed Alien War.
Especially considering he was definitely closer to the Predator
@@TheHutchy01 holy shit just let the guy fucking rest already. He was tortured enough while alive. There's no evidence he touched children in any inappropriate way you dick.
@@Cuhrix thank you for saying that so I didn’t have to!!
@@Cuhrix Yeah...but...
@@MerkhVision Straight up. The disgusting, parasitic media couldn't stop repeating how he "regularly had children in his bedroom".
In his bedroom, in his bedroom. His "bedroom" was literally the size of an entire house. It sounds a lot less threatening when one pulls their head from their ass, and actually looks at the reality of the situation.
The fact that Corey Feldman backed him speaks to his innocence, considering he was the loudest voice against Pedowood. He was a damaged soul, but it doesn't appear he was a predator.
The Popstations have come a long way.
Fucking awsome!
DeadwingDork Yes they have Claw.
Ayyy clawdaddy
It's weird when a RUclipsr you like likes another RUclipsr you like. Anyway, hey dude! Hullo and such!
I remember the old looking PlayStation portables and vitas
I liked "Do not disassemble, repair or reconstruct by yourself"
Remember kids, always use the buddy system XD
So it's ok as long as you have a spotter..lol
So that you can blame someone else if you mess it up
BUDDY!
*Reminds me of the other off brand switch called “Cool Baby”.*
@@waffle2048 not the stupid gacha kid
@@Albert_7 oh god they're so cringy
It makes me wanna stab them
Which is something normal
@@Albert_7 well, not all gacha people are gachatards. Only the people that make heat. I'd suggest checking out RosyClozy and then apologize for ranting about the community.
Sorry ik it sounds toxic, but I used to hate gachas too. I checked the community out and I found some real gems for an anime game.
@@waffle2048 s a m e
@@georgia8830 they ruined communitys and fanbases
Who's your favourite Alloy Equipment character?
-Rigid Serpent
-Large Leader
-"Disciplined" Poison Serpent
-Handgun Serval
-Inaudible
-Fluid Serpent
-Nude Serpent
-Octagon
@@swirlingabyss lol
Otakun
Definitely "Disciplined" Poison Serpent.
Loony mite
Octagon fucking killed me 🤣
Ashens family holiday cards this year: Hello. This is my face. I'm wearing a hat. Hope you're well.
That would genuinely be a more entertaining Christmas card than anything I’ve ever received
If I got that Christmas card, I might just piss myself in joy
“Ello, this is a Christmas card. I gave it to you because it’s Christmas. Now piss off you twat”
2:02
I love it when Ashens reads broken English instructions.
Can someone hire him to read a novel composed entirely of broken English? I would buy that in a heartbeat.
- Have you played Alloy Equipment Ghost Tower?
- Yeah, Rigid Anaconda is my favourite character.
Here, have a like
Take my upvote
Welp, I just found my porn name.
I like Fluid Mamba myself.
You, my sir.
Deserve a cookie
This is what you were born to do Ashens.
Stuart needs a section in the history books dedicated to all the tat that he has collected and reviewed (so we dont have to) over the years
Got any methylated spirits mate?
@@tasherxx_ same
oh hey, two channels I'm subscribed to. That's rather nice.
omg I didn't expect to see you here lol
Its been years since I last watched ashens and it's so great to see that he's still reviewing tat on his sofa. I think I've missed listening to him without realising it
Solid Snake: "A weapon to surpass alloy equipment?"
abcpea solid snake? You mean opaque serpent
non translucent lizard
firm serpent
"Hello. This is my face, I'm wearing a hat. I hope you are well."
At least he got everything out of the way right at the start.
Also notice all his noise muffling pads on the ceiling :D
It’s a freaking studio he’s in. It’s not some dive apartment. The dream is over.
@@ninjamaster3453 always has been
@Chill Toad you have been bamboozled by a currently-popular internet reference known as a meme
(thanks for the info btw, I've been watching his vids for awhile but not often enough to know stuff like that)
I died when he said “notice me seapiy” 😂😂
Lol same!!
Lol
I accidentally muted my phone right after Ashens said “notice me sepai” and thought he was just staying silent out of shame.
OOF size large
Oh my goodness 😬
Well, it's a good thing you did, because if I heard Ashens say that in front of me, I would've punched him.
Ivan Simpson Yeah no anime talk in MY Ashen videos
*who* would be the "sepai", though?
It comes loaded with Legend of Zilda: Broth of the Wild. An award winning cooking simulator.
tch--chcka tchk-cha, tch--chcka tchk-cha, blllrp, Blrrrp, Blrr-rrp drrrr!
69 likes
Moment of silence for the kids who's grandmas bought this for them
The Ol' Nintendo Switcheroo
Yes
KiddyPow was rejected wonder why
To be fair, if there was a game called "Lonely Soldier" and it was translated into "Isolated Warrior", that would be just as funny.
the same with "alloy equipment"... it's just what we are used to... many things could have the most ridiculous names from our "now"-perspective, but if they were called that the whole time we wouldn't even think about it
I think Antonio Stella Bottom Tile must have translated these titles. If not him, then Ji Plug Pu Melon Nai for sure.
@@chrisakaschulbus4903 As someone that didn't grow with Metal Gear Solid I can confirm it will never not sound weird to me.
Also there some words that have grown up so much one me that I no long can see the translations as better sadly.
23:37
The power of an immortal
The soul of a human
The controls of a bastard
Mario is translated literally into three words, Ma(馬) Ri（力）O（歐). Individually however, the words 馬力mean horsepower while the word 歐means euro, hence the shitty translation for super horsepower euro.
lmao
@Tuberculosis Dan Judging from the upvotes, 83 people.
@Tuberculosis Dan who asked you to give your opinion?
@Tuberculosis Dan You, apparently, since you took the time to comment instead of just completely ignoring it.
@Tuberculosis Dan Lots of people found it interesting. You don't have to be a constant douchebag, ya know?
Went from the AliExpress PC build to this without even realizing for a hot second that it was a new video lol
thematically appropriate
I smell someone ordered a hundreds cores Xeon processor 😎 p.s. I bought myself recently 14th cores chip, it works, quite a work to turboboost it, but cheaper than latest core i5 10th gen. But I've used a good motherboard Asrock, not chinese Hungnan.
@@fontenbleau I know nothing of computers and that might as well have been Greek, I just like listening to Ashens talk
When you read out Alloy Gear Equipment, they’ve obviously used a thesaurus and I was laughing but then it suddenly hit me “Metal Gear Solid” is no less ridiculous, literally three random words chucked together lol
Not quite. Japan and China share most of the same character based writing system. Since most Japanese Kanji are identical to Chinese Tanji, although some of the meanings are different. So what most likely happened is they looked up each game's name manually, took the direct translation of the Kanji to Chinese, then directly translated it to English. Since the Chinese characters phonetically are "Maliou," which is written these symbols: 马力欧. Which individually translate directly to "high horse power." So same thing probably happened to Metal Gear Solid. Just that the Kanji/Tanji dependencies in meaning are a lot more minor in that case.
I'm waiting for Wood Gear Liquid
In some alternate universe the best video game series ever made is called Alloy Gear Equipment
@@natsume-hime2473 What's Tanji? Is that Hanzi in another dialect?
Natsume-Hime skipped that entire comment but I pressed read more
13:47
"the controls are dogshit on a plate, and the plate is also made of dogshit"
🤣🤣🤣🤣
"Its stuck moving right!" So it *is* a Switch!
Flammable Flame 505
gamegirl
Actually my Switch drifts left so nerr
Or my ps3 controller
You're at 69 likes
Haha I just ruined your 69 likes
"Alien War" = Michael Jackson's Moonwalker is kind of perfect. lol
Edit: 26:44 - 26:45 Very quick moment. Saw Jacko, paused, rewound to see the name.
It’s like that Boondocks episode 😂 MJ is an Alien...
Alien vs. Predator
i am so glad someone noticed that quick frame
@@justinjohnston8923 That RUclips quick frame game. I love a good easter egg.
That "SD Up" game is actually a really obscure Gundam game. Apparently it's quite shit.
"Nontendo Swotch" and "Notice me Seapiy" really got me LOL
"Metal Gear" is called "Alloy Equipment" which is a title that makes about as much sense, but I'm curious as to what "Biography of Candy" is
Life of Pi(e)?
Candy crush saga?
Lollipop Chainsaw
doctor mario
The Tale of Candies: The Saga
This looks like a thing to post off to Ben Heck with a note saying “please make the controls less shit”...
Easy, just connect a USB game pad. Or even a keyboard.
I was also thinking that! A bit disappointed that ashens didn't open it up. I wonder if the buttons are easily replaced.
Just hotglue some completely unfinished 3d printed plastic on it and save yourself the $5,000.
Imagine wanting a switch for Christmas and you get this disappointment
that is horrible
EVILLLLL
It's very interesting how the buttons are named, with A being the bottom and X being the top, so it doesn't follow Nintendo or even Xbox layout standards, for maximum annoyance.
Dreamcast controllers have the buttons like that.
@@user-pi5xz5je4y Nope, they use the Xbox layout.
The whole thing just weaves thru current Nintendo switch patents.
@@emilellenius The buttons might be mapped differently but they're labled the same way.
Edit: typo
@@user-pi5xz5je4y That's what he's saying. On Dreamcast/Xbox the Y button is on the top with the A button on the bottom. On Nintendo consoles the X is on the top with the B button on the bottom. This matches neither scheme.
16:23 I think why it's called "Super Horsepower Euro" is because of a Chinese translation: 超級瑪莉歐 should be the official translation, but a homonym is 超級.馬力.歐 in Mandarin, and the words in order means: Super, horsepower, and Europe. My theory is the names are all in Chinese, and they pumped them through a translation service. Because if all the names are directly translated back to Chinese, they all make sense.
I just keep imagining him kneeling at his couch. My knees would kill
16:45 Ah yes good ol' Alloy equipment, I remember playing that. With Sturdy worm going up against humongous chief at external nirvana.
Dying of laughter 😂
Sturdy reptile
I got everything else but don’t know what is being badly translated as “external nirvana”.
@@booperdooperproductions2545 its gotta be “outer heaven!” Lol
This is an excellent localization lmfao well done
"Okay that. . . actually made sense"
"What is he doing?"
"He's beginning to believe"
Imagine you ask for a switch for Christmas and you get this
I can hear a tantrum in the first floor already with some tears in their eyes.
Hey, it's a gift. Its better than nothing.
Im saving up and waiting for the switch pro lol
@@sablightning4819 Well we have the switch OLED model, I guess that’s Nintendo’s “Switch pro”.
Now *this* is what could've been called the Swintendo Nitch. Ashens always being the clairvoyant type, of course.
Nontendo Sham.
Jimtendo snitch
Swindletendo Sham
The Kensington Vii Siwtch
sintendo nwitch
gintendo bame noy
Call a mate over when you need to disassemble, repair or reconstruct the thing.
Like my mate Vince?
MrHack4never Especially your mate, Vince
Vince is a prick
@@annother3350 Whats vince done to you? He helped me move out once.
Kid: Mom, can we have Nintendo Switch?
Mom: There’s Nintendo Switch at home.
Nintendo Switch at home…
"fatfurSP" ive seen something like that on deviantart
i'm pretty sure that's a deviantart username.
It must be the sequel to his fanfiction, "Five Creamy Furries" (from the Poundland Twinkies video)
I wonder what SP stands for...
Yes, I know the "Fat furry" part and I won't kink shame. I'm not even better than those weirdo's!
@@haaxxx9 if it's deviantart, i'm sure it has something to do with inflation or diapers.
@@haaxxx9 Y'know, that's genuinely great, they ain't hurting anybody so they can do whatever. Still doesn't change the fact that the name is extremely questionable lol
For a brief moment, Ashens’ reflection in the device was overlain by my reflection in my phone, and I was given a vision of the nameless horrors that dwell outside our plane.
10/10, would recommend.
Care to give the eldritch being its first name?
@@sushiibird7799 I think it’s beyond our human languages, but we could call it “Stu” to keep things simple.
Mind. Blown. 10/10 comment
"Matters needing attention"
"I know that feeling"
xD
Take a shot every time Ashens presses the "B" button instead of the "A" button
take a shot everytime he gets impatient incredibly quickly and slams every button
I always do that after playing Xbox or Playstation and going to the switch and such, and I feel like a tool for about ten minutes till I readjust to it.
I think the reason is that the buttons are actually in the normal layout, but when it emulates a nintendo console, the labels are wrong, so the button that is labeled "a" is actually "b", and so on... which is ironic, because it's supposed to be a switch...
Can't blame the guy when the labels contradict what it's mapped to.
To be fair, the “A” button is firstly in the wrong place, and secondly switches mapping to the “B” button every time emulation starts. The button labeled “A” is “A” in the system menu, but the button labeled “B” is “A” during any game.
I really enjoy that youtube's stupid algorthm thinks this is "ashen" the video game.
im pretty sure he selected it when uploading
Boltaan'jistman
Lol
Tolly Hill
Yeah, but its still a good joke regardless
@@TollyH
If you click on the game in the description, it says" Auto generated by RUclips"
The "channel" is. Not the video being set as "ashen"
RUclips has a thing where they have auto generated "channels" that """posts""" videos from other users...
Basicly the idea is you can "subscribe" to, say, the minecraft channel and RUclips will start putting videos in your subscriptuon feed that are tagged as minecraft.
“MicroUSB cable so short it may as well not exist”
I hit that subscribe button so fast 🤣
My guess is “Digital Tyrannosaurus Computer” is Digimon.
I laughed harder than I probably should've at this comment
“Warehouse Legend” is what I call the underpaid amazon employees who get me my stuff on time
@Samurai Shampoo Tell that the poor Amazon Warehouse employees over here in the EU.
@Samurai Shampoo // So both Amazon warehouse employees _and_ nurse assistants are underpaid? A good point well made.
@@takashikamiyama4607 here in the UK they're on a good £3-4 more than minimum too
Its almost like unskilled labor doesn't make a lot of money
@@ladytaz6137 it's called unskilled, but as an employee of a big name parcel courier, i can say it's not all that unskilled, and i know that amazon require their employees to have previous experience working in the industry, and that their employees give less of a shit about your parcels than the company i work for, which is renowned for providing a "bad" service
“Dogshit on a plate, and the plate is made of Dogshit” made me chuckle
Oh my god, they switched A and B around, but not X and Y
Ikr this is bad
@Sean Dillon no u morron
on the xbox Y is on top and X is on the left
but on the xbox A is at the bottom and B on the right but on Nintendo A is on the right and B is on the bottom
To make it even dumber, the manual showed the Playstation X/O/Triangle/Square buttons. So the manual shows Playstation buttons, the device has Nintendo buttons, but they swapped A and B to match Xbox.
ikr i saw that too wtf
I will call Metal Gear “Alloy Equipment” from now on
pulley would be a better substitute for gear since they function similarily
if someone r/wooshes me i will personally translate all your thoughts into chinese
@@jetaddict420 gears and pulleys do not function similarly at all tho?
@@kalebgates7711 they both transmit force so instead of saying equipment which is the most general term ever substituting it for pulley makes much more sense
@@jetaddict420 then it might as well be alloy lever
Me: can we get Nintendo Switch?
Mom: We have Nintendo Switch at home!
Nintendo switch at home:
I know, I’m very original aren’t I, just like the Powkiddy gaming thing in the video.
@Jaden Bissell “no” what?
"Do not contact with benzene, thinner and other chemicals"
Explosions and Fire: Your benzene that of course you just have lying around.
Wait u don't casually keep benzene around incase you want to contact it with your knock off videogames?
A fucking explosions and fire reference under an ashens vid? That's new lol. But as long as it doesn't dissolve into a yellow liquid when put into benzene you should be good
No yellow goo. Someone mentioning two of my favorite youtubers. I love this part of RUclips
"Do not hit the main engine seriously."
you can hit my engine very seriously, if ya know what i'm saying ;)
@Sassy The Sasquatchyou look so cute when you sleep in your bed :D
@@chrisakaschulbus4903 what
@@caligulasaquarium7637 the comment i was replying to was deleted... happens from time to time on this platform
@@chrisakaschulbus4903 scary
“mom, can we get a nintendo switch?”
“no, you have a nintendo switch at home”
the nintendo switch at home:
I found it interesting how, unlike the Switch Lite, this Switch knock-off can connect to a TV
because nintendo fell off and is now garbage
And whats the point of that?? Would much rather play on half of a nintendo lite screen that play this crap console
flan youre probably just salty you cant afford a switch so youre saying that lol. The switch is actually the best console nintendo has made so far.
gb/c/a, gamegear on bigger screen
this IS based on the full console
"Hey Micheal, is that a Nintendo Switch?"
"Uh.... yeah, I guess."
"Cool! Whatcha playing?"
"Mario Bros."
"You mean Mario Odyssey?"
"No... just Mario Bros."
"Oh."
You can play Mario Bros on the Switch. As a matter of fact you can even play it in SMB3 if you're so inclined.
This might actually be funny if you couldn't play Mario Bros on the Switch.
You mean Super horsepower EURO 1
@@jamesg6660 "This might actually be funny if you couldn't play Mario Bros on the Switch." when the facts drop and you feel their impact through the written text :D
but for real, if i were interested in a switch a bundle of emulators would be the first thing that i put on this thing... i heard n64 has pretty nice performance
@@chrisakaschulbus4903 Yeah, going off of Mario 3D All Stars, the Switch does N64 pretty good. I just wish that Nintendo would add an official N64 emulator alongside their NES and SNES ones already so I can have bluetooth N64 controllers lmao.
Bangbead sounds like something you would buy at a BDSM store
The fact that it was emulating all of those games really damn good is even more infuriating because of those horrendous af controls.
Sadly that's Powkiddy's thing, there emulation is at times fantastic but to make it a decent price, they cut down on quality. Which is a shame because they know what people want but can't make it, with Anbernic going to Mini PC's and Retroid being radio silent, they may not have competitors soon and that worries me
@@SudrianTales still, just $10 more investment on part of the manufacturer for cosmetic pieces of plastics would have made the difference between the sky and the floor in terms of the quality and responsiveness of the controls. I would not see people complaining for a $10 more price for this unit if it means that it is actually playable.
@@yafilmDOTcom
Of course, all there fans would agree with you and like me cry wishing Powkiddy would just get their shit together on quality, we don't want great, we would love if it was good at this stage
Just finished rewatching the "ashens knockoff" playlist, and then this gem came through. Thank you!
Poor me is still waiting for the EnjoyStation 5
Stuart seems to have a portal to hell in his room. Those jagged shards surrounding the light are fooling nobody. It either goes to Hell, or Long Stratton. I've been to one, and fancy the other only slightly less.
gorillaz vibes
Read this in a Partridge voice, sorry
16:44
Everyone's favourite Hyde Cogima game:
Alloy Equipment: Reptile Swallower
Pretty sure that's the third Alloy Equipment? Loved the second one Alloy Equipment 2: Boys of Freedom
Nice profile photo
@@CaptainNim correct.
@@jd61215 My favorite is part 4 : Shooty Shoot Shoot Of The Territory Lovers
Alloy equipment five: ghost hurted
Also, the second Micro-B port is probably for transferring ROM's off a PC onto the system, so you can load your own games onto it.
True ashens is returning, first a pound land special then a shite games "console." Balance has been restored.
Alloy equipment
Alloy equipment the 2nd: High-density serpent
Alloy equipment high-density
Alloy equipment high-density the 2nd: Male children of freedom
Alloy equipment high-density Number 3: Serpent consumer
Alloy equipment high density: nonviolent pacer
Alloy equipment high-density digit 4: Firearms of those who strongly believe in the cultural values of their country of origin
Alloy equipment high-density: floor null
Alloy equipment high-density part 5: Invisible discomfort
Alloy equipment ascending: of which to personally cause consequence for a wrongdoing a second time
Alloy equipment strive to not become deceased
Alloy equipment solvent
Alloy equipment assignments of which are digital but seek to emulate that of which is non-digital
Alloy equipment assignments of which can be easily transported
Alloy equipment assignments of which can be easily transported positive
Alloy equipment high-density number 3 ball-based gambling device
You need more likes this is perfect
Is non violent pacer Peacewalker?😂😂😂
"Ball Based gambling device"
theultumzero you missed Alloy equipment: mobile missions
Alloy equipment high-density episode 5: The point on Earth's surface closest to a detonation
22:00 ah yes, that famous game, Dance Dance Revolution for the Game Boy Color
From the WLL to here... some call it progress
WULULUL
Thumbs up to Dingoo!
Yeah but the WLL had original games, making it actually kind of interesting. Every ripoff console nowadays doesn't even try to be unique. It's the same emulator stuff.
Me: Struggling through a bout of depression.
Also me: Sees a new Ashens video has been uploaded.
Also, also me: Immediately feels a little better.
Thanks Stuart. Please never leave youtube or change in any way, shape or form. 👍
I feel ya, lockdown and being isolated entirely for six weeks is fkn getting to me. Videos like this ease my soul
Thanks mate. All the best to you.
Isolated Warrior being called Lonely Soldiers reminds me of in JoJo when the english localization team has to slightly change names to fit copyright. (Like Bad Company to Worse Company and Limp Bizkit to Flaccid Pancake.)
FYI: you started this channel 14 years ago, not one thousand-two hundred million years ago. I checked.
eh close enough
Little bit difference :D
And it was a website before that. I vaguely remember the animations.
He already knows🤣🤣
Fck me, you just made me check how long I have been subbed for. I knew I have watched every video and he was fairly big when I found him, but 7 fcking years and i watch every upload the moment i see it up.
I am NOT searching "Powkiddy" in Google.
You're not gonna like who owns YT then.
@@love-hammer I hope that you get the joke the person meant
Prisoners of War
I'm NOT either 🤣
@@love-hammer qanon isn't real.
The second USB port is for data transfers. Instead of taking the SD card out all the time, you could connect the entire thing to a PC and drag and drop stuff right onto the card without needing to put in your PC. My old phone did this too.
Aww i really wanted to know what "The reincarnation of God" was
Shin megami tensei
@@haruhisuzumiya6650 omg it's haruhi i have an sos brigade tattoo
It's funny how happy he was that the device was charged and then like right after that he's like "jump cut because the battery ran out on the camcorder"
Me: mom can we get a switch
Mom: we have a switch at home
Switch at home:
Everybody: this is how you form a sentence
Internet: uses this crappy format every single time
Good job.
Name checks out
This seems like it would actually be a legitimately good emulation system with how well it seems to run all the consoles that it claimed to be able to run. It's actually right for once that it can play PS1 games. What a shocker. If only it wasn't for the terrible controls. This would be a really solid emulator console.
Every single one of these emulator consoles are like this I swear. They have redeeming qualities and then 1 massive flaw makes them a piece of shit where they would otherwise be a solid gaming device.
@@barkingapollo Most of the ones I've seen, they are all around piles of garbage with terrible controls, awful emulation, trashy designs, unusable UIs. Usually everything is just bad. But for this, it runs really well and has a decent enough looking UI, but just... the controls. It would be really good if not for the lousy controls, which is a shame.
Am I the only one who saw the filename of "msword" and thought "Microsoft Word? WTF?"
1 thought of m1necraft sword 😀
i literally thought this proprietary firmware could run microsoft word
@@dashmarer is your I key broke
@@mxrcvrii you know, I wouldn't doubt it could run some sort of word processor ... good luck controlling it without an onscreen keyboard lol. Even if they have one, I could see them making it take up most of the screen making it very unpleasant to use.
I love how ashens somehow missed the fact that he was hovering over Michael Jackson's Moonwalker, AKA Alien War.
"Pow" - game
"Kiddy" - child
Kids on the street! Kids on the beat! Beat Kids! Beat Kids!
Game-boy double translated?
the curse of bloggo's pow crossover with quest for the gamechild
Pow, game kiddy, child
Child, girl, boy boy
Game boy
AH
*the memories*
I’ve missed bad English in knock-off console instructions.
It has been a while..
Where’s my sad onion?!
I love those!
They couldn't get the toilet paper on which to write the instructions in pidgin English.
'Bad English In Knock-Off Console Instructions' is also the name of this video on the PowKiddy.
I lost access to my old RUclips about a year ago and I remember you where my favorite to watch as I played minecraft!!! I was your 4000 something subscriber!!! God im glad I found you again I love you so much
The Wario charge animation employed frame-by-frame flickering to make a ghost effect on the original screens.
This man has comically made history as the man with a camera pointed at the couch with talking hands.
This is what a step dad will buy for his step kid
You missed "Michael Jackson's Moonwalker" turning into "Alien War"!